โฅโฅโ๐๐ธโ๐ผ โฅ๐๐ + ๐น๐๐ ๐ โฅ๐โ๐ผ/โ๐ผโ โฅ๐น๐๐ ๐ ๐ฅ๐โฅโฅ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ก๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ค @๐น๐๐๐๐ฅ๐๐๐ค_๐๐ ๐๐๐
152 posts
SAVAGE LOVE DRABBLE
SAVAGE LOVE DRABBLE
I Dare You To Kiss Me. . .
============================
Pairing: Jungkook x OC
Word Count: 1.7k words
Age Rating/ trigger warnings:
Not mature, only kissing pecks, light swearing (shit, badass), their first kiss, Daring each other to do things, slight angst in the last few sentences. Very brief mention of weed smoking and drinking, messing around, losing virginity later on in life. Nothing descriptive (small mention) Characters are 13 at this point.
Authors note:
Part of Jungkook and Aliceโs Backstory.
This can be read as a stand alone but if you want to know more about their relationship read Savage love.
Click this savage love link just below.
Savage Love
============================
I Dare You To Kiss Me. . .
I giggle childishly as I grab onto Kookies hand letting him pull me out of the rarely used music department backdoor that leads out onto the sports area, by the tennis and basketball courts.
No one is using this area today either, pretty sure they are all at the track field.
He chuckles with a mischievous grin on his face when he sees my matching expression of anarchy.
Jungkook dared me to ditch school with him and me being a crazy girl who canโt back down, I agreed.
As soon as we get to the broken part in the chain link fence by the basketball courts, he holds it open for me as I chuck our backpacks through first, then scramble through in excitement.
An uncontrollable moment of very mischievous laughter bursts out of me as I watch Kookie escape through the gap too.
He grabs my hand laughing and literally drags me off towards his house, his parents arenโt ever home because they both work until late.
But Jungkook just happens to have keys to get into his house because he comes to mine for a few hours after school. But he always leaves to go to his house at around six pm, knowing his parents will be home soon.
We were so nervous that we would get caught by someone who knew our parents that we ran all the way to his home filled with nervous laughter.
As soon as we get inside and he closes the front door, we both descend into crazy laughter immediately.
โLetโs go upstairs to my room Princessโ
Jungkook smiles at me, pulling me with him by grabbing my hand.
He excitedly tells me about his new game, rambling about how good it is.
I giggle at him as he animatedly puts his console on and starts the game, handing me a controller with a huge bunny grin.
He always looks so pretty when he smiles at me like that, I canโt help but stare at him.
Blushing, I take the controller from him and look at the screen waiting for him to show me the ropes of a new game.
I can feel him still looking at me but I pretend to not notice until itโs obvious and I have to look at him.
As soon as I glance up Iโm thrown by the look on his face, he coughs nervously looking flustered and clicks a button on his controller.
โSo first you pick your character and I will pick next, I will show you what their strengths and weaknesses are, okay Alice?โ
He tells me, sounding more confident.
โOkay Kookie, show me!โ
I giggle while waiting for him to Instruct me like he always does.
โOkay click your X button and go to that icon there Princessโ
He points to a small icon and I go to it by clicking on it.
โGood Baby, umm click that one and then we can go through the characters!โ
Jungkook grins at me pointing to the screen.
After a while Iโve picked a female character and she looks badass, of course Jungkook teases me for always picking a female character but I donโt care.
But he agrees that sheโs a strong player and her stats are pretty evened out and fair, then Kookie adds that her weapons and the upgrades for her are pretty good.
As soon as we start playing we start teasing each other and laughing at each other when the other one gets killed or does something stupid.
Jungkook gets irritated when I say that he turns psycho when heโs competing against another person in a pvp, that he just canโt stand to lose. He exclaims loudly that heโs not that bad.
I chuckle telling him that he gets so angry and mad when he does lose, that he ends up almost destroying the controllers. He scoffs at me replying he wouldnโt care if he loses and heโs not that competitive, I canโt help but prove him wrong.
โOkay itโs my turn to issue a dare, so I dare you to just let that player win and stop fighting right now!โ
I fold my arms looking at him in triumph, as he looks conflicted, biting his lip because he doesnโt want to prove me right. But he also doesnโt want to lose.
โWhat?! You want me to just lose on purpose like some pathetic loser? Donโt do me like that Princess! I will not lose!โ
He exclaims looking scandalised that I would dare to suggest that he should lose on purpose.
โSo you are gonna prove me right and have to do the next dare I choose no matter whatโ
I smugly tell him knowing he will hate losing the bet too.
โShit! Damn it, Princess!โ
Kookie drops his controller with a pained look on his face as he watches himself get killed with an irritated off look on his face.
โI HATED doing that! Such a bad girl to me Princess! I dare you to go get some powdered wasabi from the cupboard put some on your palm and lick a little bit from your handโ
He smirks at me and I give him a death look, he knows I detest wasabi, but if I refuse then he will pick another dare and I have to do it without question.
โKookie! You know I absolutely hate wasabi!โ
I yell at him with a pout on my lips.
โPrincess, don't be angry at me, you know I hate losing too. So itโs only fair I pick something you hateโ
Jungkook sighs with a shrug, heโs right of course.
โPft I hate you! But I will do it!โ
I huff at Kookie with a look of betrayal. Jungkook chuckles, leaning in to place a kiss on my hair.
โNo you donโt Alice! You love me, just like I love you!โ
My heart beats faster but I know he only means as friends, I canโt help wishing that he loved me in a different way.
Jungkook giggles at me as I march off to get wasabi and grab a drink for after.
When I come back heโs grinning at me as I whine at him, a huge pout on my lips.
โPlease donโt make me Kookie! Iโm sorry! I hate wasabi!โ
I try to persuade him and probably look like Iโm having a tantrum whilst Iโm at it, but he chuckles, shaking his head.
โNope Baby! Unless you totally refuse and I give you a dare you have to doโ
He smirks at me with his head tilted.
โIโm not doing it!!โ
I exclaim putting the wasabi down and hoping that he goes easy on me. His doe eyes widened because Itโs very rare that I back down.
โOkay so. . I can pick another dareโ
Jungkookโs voice drops sounding slightly raspy making me frown, but I donโt care so I nod frantically because Iโd rather do anything than taste wasabi.
โI dare you to let me kiss you. . on the lipsโ
He breathes out sounding nervous, slowly getting nearer to me as I nod, biting my lip.
Iโve wanted to kiss Kookie on the lips for ages, so of course I agree.
โYeah? Are you sure?โ
He asks me with a soft tone as he gets really close to me, wiping his palms on his trousers.
โIโm sure Kookieโ
I mutter shyly as he places his hand on my cheek looking down at me with sparkles in his eyes.
โSo pretty, Princessโ
He breathes out and leans forward gently pressing his lips against mine making me actually melt when his hand caresses my cheek.
I press my lips back onto his, reciprocating the kiss, making him start to leave chaste kisses on and around my lips, before removing his lips with a shy smile on his face.
โThank you for trusting me, Aliceโ
Jungkook smiles and brushes his thumb across my cheek before backing off.
I glance at the clock feeling flustered by our kiss and how he stares at me, but I notice the time and my eyes widen.
โShit!! Itโs almost time for my mother to come pick us up!! Sheโs taking us to yours as Iโm sleeping over remember! We have to get back to the school gates Jungkook!โ
I exclaim panicking and his eyes widen too, making him jump up.
โOh damn! Letโs go princess! We can use the way we left to get back on school grounds! But we better be quick, we have twenty minutes to get back there!โ
Kookie exclaims, looking panicked as he grabs our bags making me follow him.
He locks the front door, giving me my bag, then he grabs my hand pulling me back to school.
As soon as we get back into school with no issues or problems we burst into laughter because of how panicked we both were.
Of course our parents never found out about this time, they didnโt find out about us ditching until we were both sixteen.
For some reason our first kiss with each other was never mentioned again after it was awkwardly joked off by Kookie the next day.
I was disappointed but I didnโt want to make a big thing about it and make him think I was childish or clingy.
Not that we didnโt do more dares later on in our teens, but thatโs another story.
This is the first time we escaped from school together, it would soon become a running theme.
From age thirteen to almost seventeen we would ditch school regularly, always leaving after the role call just after lunch and going to Kookieโs to laze around and play video games in his room.
We got more and more rebellious as we both got older though.
Both of us smoked weed, drank, played truth or dare or just got wasted and messed around, only to act like we didnโt remember the day after.
We would dare each other to do crazy things, neither of us backing down even when it got insane, both too competitive and stubborn to quit.
We were a lot of firsts to each other apart from the one that really counted, because we both lost our virginities to people we didnโt love.
We truly were each other's soulmates, the ultimate best friends, destined to be together forever, until he ruined it and got a new girlfriend.
It was always us against the world together. . . Until it wasnโt.
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ยฉ๏ธ Bangtans Momma.
Please do not translate, copy, steal or repost my stories as your own, or any part of my story as your own either.
Do not feed any part of my stories into any AI software either.
Sharing the link or re-blogging is perfectly fine of course.
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More Posts from Bangtans-momma
231214 - jungkook x iheartradio live
Sอaอvอaอgฬฒeอ Lอoอvอeอ
Pairing: Jimin X OC. Jungkook X OC
Length: 10,000+ words
Rating: 15+ (it has no sexual activity or extreme violence, but has adult themes like cheating, toxic relationship, pregnancy and swearing, some mention of sexual themes but not graphic)
TW/Content: Angsty,angsty fluff, sadness, anger, mild violence (punching), depression, low self esteem, toxic relationship, hateful words, gaslighting, emotionally abusive, jealousy, mentally abusive, arguing and shouting, OC is chubby, unrequited love (but not really), male best friend is always there, clueless best friends, cheating, pregnancy (not OC) fluffy best friend, swearing, bad body image, Angst with happy ending, feelings exposed.
Kissing and hugging, mention of sexual things but no actual sexual content.
(Maybe in a part two if I feel like it)
But Jungkook has soft dom energy in the the way he talks to her and treats her.
OC and Jimin being savage loves in their own ways.
Genre: Angst, Toxic relationship, break up, angsty with a happy ending. Best friends being clueless.
Authors note: Not proof read but checked quickly by myself, was written in a day so it just flew out of my head.
Capitals means they are shouting or screaming at each other, which meant that when she tells Jimin off she is really MAD!
Wanted to prove I could write something without the story getting sexual or yandere etc. And I would SHARE IT!
Sorry about the font, but not going over it to change it now. Had trouble with copy and paste, but I like it this way!
========================================
Fอlอaอsอhอbอaอcอkอ
"๐ฐ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ...."
๐จ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐.
"๐ช๐จ๐ต๐ซ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฌ!!! ๐พ๐ฏ๐จ๐ป ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ!!!"
๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐.
"๐บ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐'๐!"
๐บ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ .
๐ฐ'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐.
"๐ฏ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐? ๐ฏ๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐?! ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ '๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐! ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐!!"
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐'๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐.
"๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ณ๐๐๐! ๐ฐ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐. ๐บ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ! ๐ฐ ๐ ๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐! ๐พ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐!!โ
๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ .
"๐ฌ๐ฟ๐ช๐ผ๐บ๐ฌ ๐ด๐ฌ! ๐ฐ๐ป ๐พ๐จ๐บ ๐ต๐ถ๐ป ๐จ ๐ถ๐ต๐ฌ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ป ๐บ๐ป๐จ๐ต๐ซ ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฐ๐ต!! ๐ถ๐น ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐บ!"
๐บ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
"๐บ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ช๐๐๐ ๐๐๐!"
๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
"๐ฐ ๐พ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ณ ๐ต๐ถ๐ป ๐บ๐ฏ๐ผ๐ป ๐ผ๐ท!! ๐บ๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ซ๐ฌ๐บ๐ฌ๐น๐ฝ๐ฌ๐บ ๐ป๐ถ ๐ฒ๐ต๐ถ๐พ!!"
๐บ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐.
๐ท๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐....๐ฎ๐๐๐๐!!
"๐ฐ ๐บ๐จ๐ฐ๐ซ ๐บ๐ฏ๐ผ๐ป ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ท!!"
๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ฐ ๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐'๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐!
"๐ฏ๐ถ๐พ ๐ซ๐จ๐น๐ฌ ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ป ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ด๐ ๐ญ๐จ๐ช๐ฌ!!"
๐ช๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
"๐ซ๐ ๐ต๐ถ๐ป ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐! ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐!!"
๐ฏ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
"๐ฐ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐จ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐ช๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐บ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐บ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐บ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐'๐"
๐ฏ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐.
"๐ญ๐ถ๐น ๐ญ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ๐บ ๐บ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ด๐จ๐ต๐ซ๐!!! ๐ฐ ๐บ๐จ๐ฐ๐ซ ๐ฐ ๐พ๐ถ๐ผ๐ณ๐ซ ๐ป๐ฌ๐ณ๐ณ ๐ฏ๐ฌ๐น!!"
๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ , ๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ฐ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ฌ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐พ๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐?
๐ช๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐จ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐ ๐๐'๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐!
"๐บ๐๐๐๐๐๐?"
๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐.
"๐ฐ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐บ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐, ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ .."
๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐!
"๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐! ๐ญ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฐ๐ต! ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐จ๐ป๐ฌ ๐๐ถ๐ผ!! ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ป ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ณ๐ณ ๐จ๐พ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐น๐ถ๐ด ๐ด๐ฌ!! ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ซ๐ฐ๐ซ ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฐ๐บ ๐ป๐ถ ๐ด๐ฌ!! ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ป๐น๐ฌ๐จ๐ป๐ฌ๐ซ ๐ด๐ฌ ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐บ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ป ๐จ๐ต๐ซ ๐ด๐จ๐ซ๐ฌ ๐ด๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ณ ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐บ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ป! ๐ฐ ๐พ๐จ๐บ ๐ต๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐น ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฐ๐บ ๐ฉ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ถ๐น๐ฌ ๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฌ๐ป ๐๐ถ๐ผ!!โ
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ช๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ .
"๐ฎ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐! ๐ฐ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐'๐! ๐บ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ , ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐. ๐ป๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐บ๐ป๐ซ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ . ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ , ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐! ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐๐! ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐!"
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐, ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐.
"๐ฎ๐ถ๐ถ๐ซ๐ฉ๐๐ฌ ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฐ๐ต! ๐ญ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐จ๐ต๐ซ ๐ต๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐น ๐บ๐ฏ๐ถ๐พ ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐น ๐ญ๐จ๐ช๐ฌ ๐จ๐น๐ถ๐ผ๐ต๐ซ ๐ด๐ฌ ๐จ๐ฎ๐จ๐ฐ๐ต! ๐ฐ'๐ด ๐จ๐ฉ๐บ๐ถ๐ณ๐ผ๐ป๐ฌ๐ณ๐ ๐ซ๐ถ๐ต๐ฌ!!"
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐ฐ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐.
"๐๐ฌ๐จ๐ฏ ๐ฎ๐ถ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ต๐ซ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ถ๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐จ๐ณ๐พ๐จ๐๐บ ๐ซ๐ถ! ๐ฐ'๐ด ๐บ๐ผ๐น๐ฌ ๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐พ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ณ ๐ด๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ญ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ณ ๐ฉ๐ฌ๐ป๐ป๐ฌ๐น!! ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ฏ๐จ๐ฝ๐ฌ ๐ท๐น๐ถ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฉ๐ณ๐ ๐ฉ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ต ๐บ๐ณ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ท๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ ๐พ๐ฐ๐ป๐ฏ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ด ๐จ๐ต๐๐พ๐จ๐, ๐ฐ ๐ช๐จ๐ต ๐ป๐ฌ๐ณ๐ณ ๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐พ๐จ๐ต๐ป๐ฌ๐ซ ๐ป๐ถ ๐ญ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐พ๐ฏ๐ถ๐ณ๐ฌ ๐ป๐ฐ๐ด๐ฌ!! ๐จ๐ต๐ซ ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฐ๐ป๐ฌ๐ณ๐ ๐พ๐จ๐บ๐ต'๐ป ๐ญ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ด๐ฌ ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ณ๐จ๐บ๐ป ๐บ๐ฐ๐ฟ ๐ด๐ถ๐ต๐ป๐ฏ๐บ!!"
๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐.
"๐ซ๐ถ๐ต'๐ป ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐น ๐ป๐จ๐ณ๐ฒ ๐จ๐ฉ๐ถ๐ผ๐ป ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ถ๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ป๐ฏ๐จ๐ป!!! ๐ด๐จ๐๐ฉ๐ฌ ๐ฐ ๐บ๐ฏ๐ถ๐ผ๐ณ๐ซ ๐ฏ๐จ๐ฝ๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป๐ป๐ฌ๐ต ๐พ๐ฐ๐ป๐ฏ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ถ๐น๐ฌ ๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฌ๐ป ๐๐ถ๐ผ, ๐บ๐ถ ๐ฐ ๐พ๐ถ๐ผ๐ณ๐ซ ๐ฏ๐จ๐ฝ๐ฌ ๐ต๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐น ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป ๐พ๐ฐ๐ป๐ฏ ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐น ๐จ๐บ๐บ! ๐จ๐บ ๐ฏ๐ฌ'๐บ ๐พ๐ฏ๐จ๐ป ๐จ ๐น๐ฌ๐จ๐ณ ๐ด๐จ๐ต ๐จ๐ช๐ป'๐บ ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฌ! ๐ต๐ถ๐ป ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐น ๐บ๐ฌ๐น๐ฐ๐จ๐ณ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ๐จ๐ป๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ, ๐ฌ๐ด๐ถ๐ป๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต๐จ๐ณ๐ณ๐ ๐จ๐ฉ๐ผ๐บ๐ฐ๐ฝ๐ฌ, ๐ฎ๐จ๐บ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ ๐จ๐บ๐บ!! ๐ฐ ๐ฏ๐จ๐ฝ๐ฌ ๐ต๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐น ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ๐จ๐ป๐ฌ๐ซ ๐ถ๐ต ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐ต ๐ป๐ฏ๐ถ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ฏ ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ซ๐ฌ๐บ๐ฌ๐น๐ฝ๐ฌ๐ซ ๐ฐ๐ป!! ๐บ๐ถ ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ท ๐ด๐ ๐ฉ๐ฌ๐บ๐ป ๐ญ๐น๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ต๐ซ๐บ ๐ต๐จ๐ด๐ฌ ๐ถ๐ผ๐ป ๐ถ๐ญ ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐น ๐บ๐ป๐ซ ๐น๐ฐ๐ซ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ต ๐ด๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐ฏ!! ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ถ๐ซ๐ฉ๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐บ๐บ๐ฏ๐ถ๐ณ๐ฌ!โ
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐!
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ป๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ช๐๐๐ ๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ฐ ๐ ๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐ ๐, ๐ฐ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐!
๐ฐ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ต๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐!
========================================
All I can do is sob and I can't think of anything else, I can't sleep, I haven't showered or bathed in four days and I haven't thought of eating either, I tried to but it tastes like cardboard.
I feel like I just got out of a fever dream, one of my own stupid making.
I bet I look dreadful, I know my eyes are swollen and bloodshot and my face is definitely all puffy and red, I know Iโm looking awful.
My hair is probably looking like a literal bird's nest right now and my eyes will also be looking black too from zero sleep.
I bet I look like the crypt keeper right now, but a fat one!
I muted my phone calls at first, then I turned it off where there were annoying notification sounds coming from all my social media too.
Some randoms I didn't even know had been messaging me, I know they are just trying to get the dirt on the absolute shit show that is my life right now.
I know they all filmed what has to be the most humiliating moment of my life, I hope my brother doesn't see it but I bet Jungkook heard about it from Taehyung who was there too.
So that means Jin probably does know.
I donโt want any lectures or pity parties.
I cringe knowing that everyone is gonna say I told you so, but really they all don't know the truth of why I stayed with him.
Someone was banging on my door for half an hour yesterday but I didn't answer it, just in case it was Jimin.
As I didn't want to see him or listen to his gaslighting ass.
He tried knocking on the door and calling all day Sunday after his baby momma and her friend had told me what he had done.
This is the thing he couldn't ever fix, not this time. . . It's permanent.
And my toxic nightmare is finally over. . . Itโs finally done.
Why does he always do this to me?
He always cheats on me and then comes back telling me that he was wasted, drunk or the woman came onto him.
Then he manipulates me, lies, gas lights me and then cries if I don't listen to his apologies.
He knows how much it messes with my head, with my body image, especially when the women are tall, model looking and slim.
I'm short and also chubby, I wear glasses and wear cute and comfortable clothes, not short tight dresses.
Someone is currently banging on my door again and I just pull the quilt over my head trying to hide from the whole world.
I can hear someone shouting but I just put my hands over my ears and hum childishly under the blankets wanting the shouting and banging to stop.
When the banging stops I sigh, why don't they get that I don't want anyone's pity or fake sad faces, I don't want anyone asking me bullshit questions under the guise of being nice just so they can get the tea about my trauma.
And I definitely don't want to see Jimin.
I don't want to talk about how my heart has been ripped from my chest and stomped on, and not just by Jimin.
Or how there is no coming back from this, no lie or manipulation can make this go away, it's the permanent kind of mistake that I don't want to live with or have to deal with, not anymore.
I can't keep my mind occupied from what really torments me, I usually distract my mind with the drama Jimin brings me but not anymore, but this is too much.
Jimin made his bed and he can damn well lay in it, we are done and I'm finally grieving the utter disappointment, disaster and despair my relationship with him has been.
This whole relationship has damaged my soul and will leave a permanent mark.
Toxic wasn't a strong enough word to describe what our relationship was.
When I jumped into this relationship it was to forget someone else, but it never worked.
Iโd never have to be there waiting for him to come home from the club anymore, or knowing Iโm sleeping alone yet again.
Calling him only to get voicemail again or texting and seeing that heโs left me on read for the thousandth time.
Having people DM me to tell me that they are sleeping with Jimin or that they have just seen Jimin cheating with someone.
Or the multiple womenโs scents lingering on his clothes, the occasional makeup smears on his shirt.
The marks he insists are scratches or pinch marks from working out.
My heart is no longer in my chest and I feel hollow and empty, but I also feel a strange calm, a feeling of relief that I can finally break free from this toxic and painful farce of a relationship.
It's cathartic and it feels like I have broken free from him mentally, emotionally and physically.
I'm grieving the painful loss but I'm scared of being alone after all my friends left or betrayed me because of him and of course some left because of me staying with him after his cheating.
It's been three years of me eating away my sorrows, crying into my best friend's arms, getting medication to deal with my depression and anxiety because of the pain and suffering.
Three years of my body looking worse and me not caring about my appearance anymore, because that's how I feel inside. . . Worthless and hollow.
Like I would never deserve or get the man I really wanted, heโs proven time and time again that he only wants to be my best friend.
When I think about it I don't ever remember a time when Jimin wasn't hurting me or making me feel like a piece of garbage.
Our honeymoon period was about six months and then it went to shit, then I found out he had cheated.
My friends all warned me away from him when I was in my first year of college and I should have listened, I was stupid and thought I could see the best in people.
One by one my friends had arguments with me about him, lost interest because of my depression and me not going out much anymore, or they slept with Jimin too.
The only ones I still see are my brother Seokjin and my best friend Jungkook, even though they don't see me as much due to them having arguments with Jimin about how he treats me.
Taehyung is sometimes still around due to Jungkook and Jin though.
But I don't see Yoongi or Namjoon anymore because they detest Jimin.
I have lost count of the amount of times Jin had Jimin by his shirt threatening to punch his lights out.
Jungkook punched him once for sleeping with my other best friend Sharmin, they were doing it behind my back for six months.
This was at the beginning of the second year of our relationship.
My other childhood friend Denise slept with him on a drunken night out too, it was the night that I went to my auntie's wedding with Jin and Jungkook.
Jimin didn't want to come to the wedding with me because my family really hates him and he refused to be judged by them.
I wasn't aware that they all knew he was a cheater because Jin had told them.
That incident with Denise was the first time I was aware of him cheating on me, others already knew he was a cheater and they all tried to shield me from it.
They tried to force Jimin to break up with me but he never did, he would just goad them and tell them to fuck off.
Itโs why Yoongi had punched him, he was vile about it and had got up in Yoongiโs face too.
The others knew because they had caught Jimin in the act multiple times, they had all threatened him, had him by the throat and had even punched him.
A mutual friend called Taehyung took a picture of them kissing in the club that night and had sent it to Jungkookโs phone, who totally gave it away by the look on his face and I found out because I grabbed his phone feeling worried for him.
It was then that he told me everything and explained how it wasn't the first time, I also found out that day that Jimin was cheating on me the whole time.
He promised to change and I believed him like a stupid idiot, I clung to a useless pipe dream.
Should've known better.
Jungkook has been my best friend since we were six and we have both grown up together, we went through our teens learning and making mistakes.
We had shared our first kiss when we were 13, a peck and it was a dare at a sleepover and Jungkook was a little awkward for a few weeks after but we got over it.
Both of us started having a rebellious stage when we were both sixteen.
We were bunking off school and daring each other to do things, getting drunk and smoking weed.
We once went skinny dipping because of a dare and another time I had to flash him, we had our first French kiss together at 16 too and we made out grinding on each other when we were wasted too, but Jungkook obviously didn't remember it because he got a girlfriend two weeks later.
We are the kind of friends who are comfortable cuddling and sharing a bed, telling each other our secrets and dreams.
I had a huge crush on him all through my childhood and teen years, by the time I was sixteen I knew that I was totally in love with him.
I lamented the whole thing and tortured myself about telling him, I was worried that I would lose him.
I was finally going to tell him on my seventeenth birthday after my other friend Denise told me to go for it, but a few days before I was going to surprise him he got a girlfriend and my heart literally broke into pieces.
I stayed his friend and had to watch him be with another girl, so I had to learn to separate my crush from my friendship.
The only boyfriend I have ever had was Jimin.
I told Jungkook I had a boyfriend when he asked me what the surprise was but I didn't have one.
I lied when he got his first girlfriend and wasn't spending as much time with me, by the time he finished with the girl I just said I split up with the fake boyfriend.
I also lied and told him I had sex with that boyfriend before I met Jimin, I didn't though.
He was disappointed at me for staying with Jimin and our relationship suffered a lot because he would get angry at me every time I forgave Jimin.
Jungkook would argue with me, with hurt feelings he would stay away for a few days then come back, knowing how hurt I would be to lose him too.
========================================
I panic when I hear the keys unlock my front door, wondering who the hell would have the spare keys.
Who would be able to get them from my mother?
I hope it's not Seokjin as he will kill Jimin this time and I don't want him to get arrested due to me.
I grip on to my quilt when I hear the footsteps approaching, I don't want anyone to see me like this.
"Princess?"
I breath hitches immediately and I hear him sigh, he tries to pull the quilt from me.
"Baby, come on it's okay, let me see you"
I pull the quilt from my head and my lip quivers when he looks down to me with sad eyes.
"Oh my Princess, come here"
He pulls me into his arms and I straddle him crying my heart out, he smooths my back softly rocking me.
"It's okay Baby, it's gonna be okay. I'm here now and I'm gonna take care of my Princess"
Jungkook has come like he usually does. Why does he always come to save me, comfort me and look after me?
I don't deserve his kindness and love.
He's had to put up with this kind of shit for the three years of me being with Jimin and he still hasn't left this friendship.
"I heard from Taehyung that you had a huge argument in college with Jimin, he only picked up some details, I'm so sorry Baby. You don't deserve this kind of pain, my Princess. I tried calling you and texting and you didn't answer, I got really worried when you didn't answer the door to me Baby. I had to go get the keys from momma when you didn't answer the phone or the door"
He caresses my hair as he carries on gently rocking me, he's always called my Mother momma too.
"He. . . He. . . J-Jungkook. . He. . I. ."
That's it I start sobbing again.
"It's okay Baby, you don't have to talk about it yet, don't upset yourself"
He coos at me kissing the top of my head.
"Don't cry Princess, it hurts my heart, please don't cry"
He sounds forlorn when he talks to me, itโs like he is in pain too.
My cries eventually turn into shudders and I calm down.
I must have fallen asleep in his arms because when I open my eyes again it's dark outside.
He must be stiff from holding me in the same position for so long.
"Are you awake?"
I hear him whisper and I nod into his chest.
"Shall we get you something to eat, and don't say no because I know you haven't ate anything in days, I know you by now"
He quietly says into my hair.
"Not hungry"
I mumble into his chest and he tuts at me.
"Baby, you have to eat! Now I'm gonna help sort you out and we are gonna have something to eat okay!"
Jungkook scolds me and I sigh and slowly start to nod because I know he won't take no for an answer.
"Let's run you a bath first and then get you into some comfy pyjamas, then I'm ordering us some takeaway, okay Princess"
I just mumble okay into his chest.
Jungkook places me on the sofa and goes off to run me a bath, I hear the water running and him moving about.
But being left to my own thoughts gets me crying again, by the time he comes back I'm in a state again.
"Oh my Baby! Come here!"
He says sadly pulling me into his arms picking me up, I cling to him like a koala and just sob.
I think I'm crying for many reasons, the reason I got into the relationship in the first place, the constant cheating, the outcome of said cheating, finally being done with the relationship.
How unloved, drained and damaged he has left me feeling and me feeling like I'm actually going to be free from it, it's finally over.
It's like I feel utter relief, but I'm numb because I carried on with this shit show for only one reason and now I have to live with my thoughts again, my pain.
"Come on my Princess, I'm going to help you alright. Is that okay? I won't look at you, but you need to wash and get into some clean clothes. Is that okay?"
I don't reply at first and just panic in his arms, he can't see me with no clothes on, he will be disgusted and think I look horrible.
He only saw me in underwear a few years back, once when I flashed him as a teen and once naked in the shower by mistake when I was about nineteen, I've put on weight since then.
"Princess?? Answer me! Words. . . Is that okay?"
Jungkook has a stern voice when he asks me and I just nod in his chest.
"Words Baby"
"Hmm okay, y-yes"
I mutter quietly.
"Okay let's go to the bathroom"
He softly replies, pecking my hair.
Jungkook puts me down and I just stare at the ground feeling flustered and embarrassed.
"Arms up Baby, good girl"
I slowly put them up and he slowly pulled my hoodie off.
Then he reaches for my t-shirt and I start to panic because I have no bra on and he is going to see my chubby belly too
Grabbing on to the bottom of my t-shirt to stop him he tuts at me.
"Princess! Are you gonna do it yourself? What's wrong?"
I shake my head and tears start to drop from my eyes.
"Y-You can't see me, I'm gross! J-Jimin said he only cheated because I've turned into a fat pig and I look disgusting! I d-don't want you to be d-disgusted by me or my fat!โ
He now looks really angry with me and he cusses loudly.
"He fucking said what?! How dare he talk about my Princess like that! I'm gonna punch his lights out when I see him next!!"
Jungkook looks furious and I start worrying that he is going to get in trouble and I'm not worth getting arrested for.
"NO!! JUNGKOOK! You can't get arrested because of me! I'm not worth it!"
I panic and he just sighs at me.
"You ARE worth it! To ME you are worth it! You are my beautiful best friend and I would go to jail. . . for you"
He tells me with no hesitation in his voice.
"Now stop being stupid, I could NEVER be disgusted by you! Come on, I won't look! Let's get you in the tub before it gets cold"
Jungkook adds pulling my top off looking me in my eyes, my arm goes to my belly immediately but he doesnโt say anything.
He just kneels down and tugs at my leggings looking to the side, then he gingerly takes my socks off.
Only my panties are left so he quickly yanks those down and stands up only looking me in the eyes.
"Come on Baby, get in the tub"
I quickly get in and pull my knees up to my chest, he gives me a small smile and nods to himself in reassurance, picking up my dirty clothes to put them in the washing basket.
"The sponge and body wash is there. I will help you do your hair first okay. Then you can wash yourself, alright Princess"
He quietly says pulling the shower attachment to rinse my hair, I sigh as he runs his fingers through my long tresses.
Stopping he puts shampoo on and massages it in making me hum and put my head back.
"Does that feel relaxing Baby?"
He gives me a little chuckle as I nod.
After finishing my hair he tells me to wash my body and he's going to go order some food.
I nod and gingerly pick up the sponge washing myself all over, after I'm finished he knocks back on the door and asks if I'm ready to get out.
I reply that I am and he walks in holding up a towel and wrapping me up in it.
Then he picks me up and walks me into my room.
He proceeds to dry my hair first and then tells me to dry my body, he goes off when the door buzzer sounds off.
I get myself dried and look at the loungewear set he has set down on the bed for me.
I grab the top first and quickly put it on, then I quickly pull on the bottoms.
Jungkook walks in just as I finish and gives me a small smile.
"Let's put your hair in a plait or something first. The food is here Baby, so let's hurry up and go eat"
I nod and he comes over to comb through my knotty hair, then he does it in a side plait.
Afterwards we sit down to eat, well Jungkook eats and then forces me to eat by feeding me himself when he sees that I just push my food around on my plate.
When he is satisfied that I have eaten enough he cleans the dishes and we snuggle up in my room to watch one of my comfort films.
We watch spirited away, he knows it won't trigger me or remind me of Jimin because he never watched anime with me, he hated it and called it childish.
As I cuddle up to Jungkook I wonder how I can be so lucky to have such a great best friend.
He has always been there for me, he has never left me even after the arguments we have had about Jimin.
Jungkook even put up with Jimin's horrible attitude every time he came to mine, with the constant sarcastic comments and the loud scoffing every time Jungkook talked to me.
He ignored it all just to make me happy.
He came on my birthday to see me, on Christmas days too and never forgot any important events, not like Jimin did.
Jungkook has even put me above the few girlfriends he has had and finished with them when they got jealous of our relationship, one demanded for him to stop seeing me and he refused and finished with her the next day.
He refused to go to any dances with girls that asked in high school too because he would always go with me.
They didn't like him calling me Princess at all or hugging me goodbye or pecking my head, or when he would hold my hand.
Or when he would drop a date to run to me because of Jimin cheating again, when he would tell them he couldn't spend Sundays with them because it was our day together.
I sometimes feel really bad anxiety and guilt about what he has given up due to me, am I stopping him from being happy, from finding love?
I actually told him this once, to stop finishing with his girlfriends because of me and he said if they didn't like his Princess then they aren't the one for him, that they have to be able to deal with the fact that his best friend is a woman.
All of his relationships were short and he told me he never loved them, that it was easy to choose me over them.
But I still feel riddled with an uncomfortable guilt about ruining his relationships and interfering with his dates too.
I feel like I'm subconsciously trying to keep him to myself or that I'm messing with his relationships on purpose because of my own problems and feelings.
That I was toxic because I stayed with Jimin not only because I was trying to forget Jungkook but because he would come comfort me and spoil me for weeks after Jimin had cheated.
========================================
Jungkook has stayed with me all week, he even called the college for me and got me my notes from any classes I needed.
He has been a godsend and an Angel like he always is.
He even spoke to Seokjin and my mother when they came round and I didn't want to talk to anyone yet.
I felt embarrassed because they were all right about Jimin and I had stubbornly ignored all the talks and advice.
Jungkook knew that there was a few videos going around and told me people were actually on my side, but I didn't want to relive it.
Apparently no one at college was saying bad things about me, he told me that they are mad at Jimin for how he treated me AND Candice.
I told him that I still needed a little time and that I wasn't ready to go back and hear the gossip yet.
Jimin tried knocking on the door twice over the last week and Jungkook said I didn't want to see him anymore.
When I finally texted him to come get his things he must have thought he could get in and gaslight me again, but he was definitely not happy when Jungkook was the one that came to the door with a box of his belongings.
He just got into a fight with Jungkook at my front door now too, his attitude stinks.
It happened right after he handed Jimin's things to him in a box because I definitely didn't want to.
Jimin clearly wasn't happy that Jungkook was still with me and had just answered the door in just a pair of sweats and socks with no top on.
Jungkook punched him hard giving him a black eye after he started goading him saying that he must have finally hit it and saw how good my fat ass bounces when you hit it from the back.
That I was really good at sucking dick and that maybe he can finally feel what it's like for me to deep throat him, he was vile with his words.
After that he said that he was glad that Jungkook could finally get with me after pining after me for so long and how horrible it must have been for Jungkook having to listen to him fuck me raw all those times he slept over.
Then I gasped when he said that he made sure that I used to scream extra loud the nights Jungkook stayed over, just to give him something to wank off to, where he felt sorry for him.
That he stayed with me just to piss Jungkook off and how he always used to laugh with his friends when he used to see how sad and love sick he was over me. Jungkook totally lost it punching him again making his nose bleed.
He was absolutely fuming when he slammed the door in his face, it made a picture fall on the floor and I could see how furious he was as he paced around the room.
I just walked over and cuddled him, it stopped his pacing, luckily it calmed him down enough to not go beat Jimin's ass, because he looked ready to go back to the front door and kill him.
When I asked him if he was okay he just kissed me on the head and then nodded silently, then quietly saying he just needed a few minutes alone, then he walked off to the bathroom slamming the door hard.
I sat there feeling really uncomfortable because of what Jimin had just said to Jungkook, surely Jungkook doesn't feel that way about me, he would have told me. . . Wouldn't he?
He always told me everything, we never kept secrets from each other.
Why was Jimin saying those things?
I knew Jimin was jealous of Jungkook and that's all it sounded like up until the fight I last had with him and he had mentioned Jungkook in jealousy.
But what Jimin just said to him was too much, what does he know that I don't?
What did Jimin see that I didn't?
I know that I have always loved Jungkook but he never felt that way about me, did he?
When Jungkook doesn't come out of the bathroom I quietly walk over to the door on top toes, Iโm about to knock but I pause when I hear him sniffling and clearly crying.
Why is he crying?
Do I still knock? What if he's crying because he can't take my shit anymore and all of this has finally gotten to him?
I pick up the courage to finally knock after agonising about whether to disturb him or not.
"Jungkook? Please let me in"
I plead with him, feeling guilty that he's crying because of Jimin and what he just did.
He goes quiet and I hear the tap turn on and water splashing, then I hear him let out a loud sigh.
When he finally opens the door I can clearly see that he has been crying, his eyes are red and puffy, his nose red.
He looks so down and sad when he looks at me though, I frown at his defeated demeanour.
I absolutely hate seeing him cry, Jungkook has never been one to shy away from his emotions but it has always made me cry whenever I saw him crying.
Cuddling him immediately because I can't bear to see him suffering or sad, I fling my arms around him.
His arms go around me squeezing me tightly and I hear him sniffle again.
"Jungkookie please don't cry! I hate seeing you cry Kookie. Please tell me what's wrong, what's upset you?"
I ask him mumbling into his muscular torso.
"I. . I can't Princess. . . I can't tell you. I don't want to ruin our friendship, I don't want to lose you"
Jungkook sounds so broken as he replies to me, I'm worried that he has betrayed our friendship in some way and is too scared to tell me.
"Kookie, nothing would ever make me stop being your friend. You are my person, my everything and my soulmate. You have been there for me when everyone else betrayed me or hurt me. You know nearly all my secrets and I know yours! The only ones I haven't told you about were for the sake of our friendship. I know our friendship has been strained over the last three years because of Jimin, but you have always been there for me, even when you were mad at me, you still came back to comfort me"
I tell him still hugging him.
"Not ALL my secrets Princess, that's why I can't tell you and what do you mean for the sake of our friendship?"
He finally sighs squeezing me a little tighter, but sounds puzzled when he asks me.
"Oh. . Umm I'm not sure whether it's even worth me telling you now as it doesn't really matter because I can't go back in time and change anything"
I mumble into his chest feeling shy and too scared to tell him.
"Baby, just tell me. If it was so long ago then what does it matter?"
I sigh, biting my lip and wondering if I should just tell him.
"I. . . Please don't leave me if I tell you, I can't take you leaving me too Jungkook, promise me. And technically it started when I was a child but it's not long ago too as it has still not ended. Itโs still relevantโ
I inhale a big intake of air after he promises that he won't leave me, I finally tell him what I have hid from him for sixteen years.
"I had a huge crush on you all through my childhood and teenage years. But when I was sixteen I realised that I actually loved you after we did that dare and kissed and got off with each other when we were drunk, but you acted like you forgot. I was going to finally tell you later on when I was seventeen after agonising about it but. . . but you got a girlfriend a few days before I was going to tell you. I was going to surprise you in a cute way but it was too late, so I lied when you finally asked what my surprise was and I told you I had a boyfriend, but I didn't. I. . . I was also a virgin and hadn't ever been with anyone else or had a boyfriend when I met Jimin when I was nineteen. You were the only person I had kissed or had ever done anything sexual with. I stayed with him because I didn't want to ruin our friendship and every time you got a new girlfriend I would just forgive Jimin because it hurt me too much to be left with my thoughts of you being with another woman. I have always felt guilty about it and felt like I was ruining your real chance at love. So I just stayed with Jimin because you kept losing your chance at love because of me being a fucking screw up and I knew you couldn't possibly love someone who looked like me. All of your girlfriends were so beautiful and looked like models, I knew I stood no chance because I'm small, not pretty and dumpy. I'm not them. I also walked in on you having sex with your girlfriend a few days later when I was seventeen and cried for a whole week. I lied and said I had the flu and didn't come to school for a whole week!!"
I stop and it's totally quiet, he doesn't say anything for a few minutes and neither do I.
I'm just waiting for him to walk out on me and tell me he could never love me like that.
"Oh Princess! I'm so sorry!"
He suddenly starts crying again, but he is not just crying he's sobbing.
"I . . Th-That is all my fault!! I . . I listened to a friend who told me to get a girlfriend to try to get over liking you! I didn't like her, I just didn't want to fuck up our friendship. . and. . and he said I had to get over you. Because you clearly weren't interested like that, especially after you didn't acknowledge our drunken dare I thought you didn't remember either! OR that you wanted to forget it! When you lied and said you had a boyfriend, that you had had sex. I was so hurt and in my anger I slept with. . with that g-girl! It was dreadful and I felt awkward doing it with someone I didn't love! WHY? WHY DID YOU LIE?! WHY TORTURE YOURSELF AND STAY WITH JIMIN BECAUSE OF ME!! YOU HURT YOURSELF AND ITS ALL BECAUSE OF ME!!"
He gets louder as he starts to sound almost angry with me.
"I lied because it fucking killed me Jungkook and my friend said that I should really try to get over it and realise that you only loved me as a best friend!! I couldn't understand how we always ended up doing things when we were drunk but acted normal when we weren't! I saw you two all over each other on the bed the day before I told you and lied that I had sex, I went to your house and ran out when I caught you! You must have liked her or you wouldn't have been kissing her like that Jungkook! And you never told me you liked me either and after we kissed that time when we were thirteen too, you also acted like it was a mistake!! And what friend?"
I exclaim back as he is not going to just lay this at my front door!
"It was Hoseok! What does it matter now!"
He scoffs at me and I chuckle sarcastically now, he has to be kidding.
This has to be a cruel joke, Hoseok?
"You do know that Hoseok kept asking me out and I refused him loads of times! I even shouted at him one time that I was already in love with someone else. I got so exasperated with his persistence and even though I didn't admit it he guessed it was you and I just walked off without confirming it! He fucking did that because he was mad that I refused him so many times, I hope you know that! And you had so many girlfriends over the years and kept talking about your great sex life in front of me!! Even before I got with Jimin!! SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD I THINK OTHERWISE JUNGKOOK!!"
I yell at him, sounding exasperated, throwing my arms up.
He looks really shocked at what I just said, then his whole expression darkens and he now looks really angry.
"That piece of shit!! If I ever see him again I'm gonna punch him! After you got that boyfriend I tried to act like a normal friend because I thought you didn't like me either! And I only did that the last three years because Jimin would constantly talk about doing sexual things with you every time he spoke to Taehyung in front of me! Or when I would come over even! And I literally hate fucked those women where I was so mad all the time! I never told any of them that I loved them, I always left them when they tried to tell me to stop talking to YOU! Loads of them demanded that I choose them and I NEVER DID ALICE!! I CHOSE YOU!! I never did because. . . because I. ."
Jungkook is exclaiming really loudly at me before his defeated voice drops off getting quieter.
He sighs, running his hand over his face.
"And do you know I haven't slept with Jimin for about six months! I told him to prove he loved me. And every time he cheated again I barely went near him for ages!! So as you could imagine it was a lot of time with no sex! Because of what Jungkook?โ
Iโm so exasperated with this whole thing and it shows when I talk.
But when I ask him the last question I go dead still waiting for him to answer, it feels like ages before he finally does answers.
"Because. . Because I love you Alice, I have loved you since we were kids. But I was scared to lose you and I didn't think you wanted me like that. When I kissed you that day when I was thirteen I felt so happy, but I was also scared that you would think it was a mistake and stop being friends with me. I even panicked that night when you slept over, because you almost caught me having a wet dream about you and I thought you heard me! So I joked off the kiss the next day so I wouldn't get hurt or that you would think I was moaning your name because of that! Then as we got older even though our dare's were getting more sexual you always talked about crushes and wanting to get a boyfriend one day, that you would have one who would be your best friend. But I didn't think you meant me, I thought you were going to get a new best friend and forget about me! And my friendship with you was always special to me!"
He pauses his actual rant running his fingers through his hair then he carries on sighing.
"When you got with Jimin and I had to see you kiss him for the first time I was so upset I ran off and I think Jimin saw me and realised that I loved you. That's why he said all those things! He would also start grabbing you and kissing you on purpose to see my reaction, he even used to look right at me or smirk at me. I thought it was because he knew I hated him for cheating on you, but it was to flaunt it in my fucking face! Do you know how that felt, to watch him treat the woman I loved for so long like that! Did you know that I almost left here for a once of a lifetime internship about two years ago, I couldn't watch you two together anymore. But he cheated with Sharmin just before I was going to leave and you were so upset that I couldn't leave you in that state! So I bailed on them and lost the internship! But he would always goad me saying things like you had just had make up sex and was a little sore and horrible things like that! That the neighbours complained last night because of you screaming!! But now I know it was all fucking lies!"
His hands are moving everywhere as he speaks, he looks so frustrated and angry.
I'm about to reply and he starts ranting at me again, unloading everything.
"I feel like I have been fucking stuck in limbo since I was a teenager! Never being able to move on because I can't love anyone else!! Itโs like we were in an emotional relationship! There is no one else I can imagine having kids with or marrying, no one else I could ever imagine living with because in my imagination and dreams it's always you!! They are just never you and they never will be you! It's why I always picked women that I wasn't really that attracted to and that looked the furthest thing from what you looked like! I didn't want to feel like I was using them as a replacement or as a substitute! Because no one could ever replace you in my mind!โ
He looks really hurt and is just unloading the mother of all rants on me, the pent up energy is just spilling out of him.
โOne girl finished with me because I was moaning your name in my sleep and it clearly wasn't a normal dream!! It's no wonder they were always jealous of you, I have pictures of us in my apartment everywhere. I have your clothes in my apartment, your toothbrush, your deodorant, pyjamas, your favourite food, your favourite films even!! I never called them Baby or Princess, they got no pet names! All of my phone is filled with pictures and videos of us together, my phone screen is of one of us together too! My wallpaper on my computer is even of us together!! I finished with a girl once because she threw a picture of us together as kids against a wall in a fit of jealousy and it smashed and she ruined it too! I have only had angry one night stands for eighteen months because I couldn't go through these bullshit lies about liking these women anymore! I lied about having girlfriends to you too!"
He lets out a huge huff of air where he is literally panting from spilling every last piece of frustration from the last sixteen years.
Jungkook stops his angry rant and looks down at me with a horrible hurt look in his eyes, my heart clenches at his pain because itโs my pain too.
His hand tenderly reaches for my face, placing his hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb against it.
I tenderly place my hand over his and lean into his touch, closing my eyes.
"How dare he hurt my Alice, MY ALICE! I have wanted to beat his ass so many times over the years!! Please never go back to him! I couldn't bear it, not again. I would leave for good, because I just can't handle watching it anymore Alice, itโs been destroying me. Please give me a chance, I would never treat you like that or cheat on you. I meant every word I said Baby, I love you so much. No one will ever love you as much as I love you, I love you so much that it hurts to be apart from you. I love you so much that I stayed because you are my home and my heart, my everything and I would be hollow without you"
Jungkook tells me with tenderness in his voice.
I open my eyes to finally look up at him, he leans in to give me a firm kiss on my forehead, then each cheek, then finally he leaves a lingering chaste kiss on my lips.
When he pulls away his face is still right by mine, my eyes scan his face and he is so beautiful, his dark doe eyes look more hopeful because I didn't stop him from kissing me.
I place my hand in his hair pulling his head back to mine pressing his lips against mine and as soon as his lips part I kiss him with a fervent passion my tongue caressing his, because I'm so hungry for this kiss, I'm finally able to kiss them like I have imagined so many times over the years.
He picks me up so fast making me straddle him, his lips still furiously kissing mine as he groans into my mouth.
Jungkook walks over to the sofa sitting down with me pulling me against his body, his hand moves to my waist and the other winds its fingers into my hair keeping me against his enthusiastic mouth making me whimper into the kiss.
When we pull away he keeps his lips ghosting over mine as we pant from the lack of breath.
"I love you so fucking much Jungkook! I always have and I always will, forevermore. I have never loved anyone else but you, itโs always been youโ
I pant as my hot breath falls against his lips.
"My Princess, my Baby, I love you with every single part of my soul. My Alice. My beautiful girl, my best friend, you have never been anyone elseโs but mineโ
He replies, squeezing me tighter.
========================================
After our big argument we decided to take it slow but we are finally together, we laugh now about how stupid we both were as teenagers.
But we have been having really long deep conversations all the time to get through the hurt we have put each other through.
We both thought it was wise to heal first and not to jump headfirst into a sexual thing yet.
I have some really happy parents right now who told us it was about time we both realised that we loved each other, that it was so obvious to everyone but us.
They are all happy that Jimin is now a thing of the past, that I finally broke it off with him.
They were terrified that I would get pregnant and have him stuck in my life for good.
It's been six weeks since I split from Jimin and he still keeps trying to call me and message me on social media.
I blocked him a few times and he keeps getting new accounts, Jungkook finally texted him and told him to back the hell off.
He wasn't happy with Jungkook and told him to mind his own business.
Every time we see him we walk off in the opposite direction before he can see us.
We have been still taking it slow and I've been back at college for two weeks now, no one has noticed that weโre a couple where we were so close before anyway.
We are liking it that way for now, so there is no pressure from anyone.
People just thought he was being extra cautious and protective with me, so they didn't say anything when he held my hand or fed me food in the cafeteria.
Well they did think that, until Jimin just tried to approach me again today in the cafeteria and Jungkook told him to get away from me.
I can see everyone already whispering and I can see his baby momma watching us with a hurt look on her face, I notice her belly looking bigger than before and her friend is definitely looking pissed.
"What fucking business is it of yours Jungkook! Let me speak to Alice and stop being the pathetic unrequited love disguised as a best friend!!"
Jimin sneers at him loudly before looking back at me, I hear an 'oh shit!' from Taehyung who knows Jungkook is probably going to punch him.
I'm about to stand up to tell him to get lost and to not speak to my boyfriend like that but Jungkook beats me to it.
"Best friend?! You are a little behind on the news Jimin. Ha ha ha!! What you say to MY GIRLFRIEND, very much affects me!"
He replies loudly standing up in his seat pushing his tray away, we hear gasps from people.
"ABOUT TIME!! IT WAS OBVIOUS!!"
Someone yells out, I dart my face to the sound source but I don't see who it is.
"YOU AND HER!! Oh you finally wormed your way in there and took advantage of my little mess! I always knew you wanted to take Alice from me. Do you think I didn't see all your love sick looks and those times you would walk off when I was kissing her! She is definitely on the rebound, how does it feel to be the rebound, poor Jungkookie! How did it feel to watch the girl you loved be kissed by me and to have to listen to her getting fucked by me!!"
He mocks him, sounding really angry and Jungkook jerks towards him where he is about to grab him but Jungkook pauses his head darting to me when I slam my drink down making a mess.
Iโm just about ready to upload all of my frustration, anger and trauma on him, Iโm ready.
"SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP JIMIN!! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS THE STAND IN, THE FUCKING REPLACEMENT! WHERE I COULDN'T HAVE WHO I REALLY LOVED!! YOU COULDN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO JUNGKOOK! HE AND I HAVE BASICALLY BEEN IN AN EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP FOR SIXTEEN YEARS AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE!! BUT WE WERE TOO STUPID TO ADMIT WE HAVE LOVED EACH OTHER SINCE WE WERE CHILDREN!! HE WAS WHO I THOUGHT ABOUT WHEN I DREAMED, WHO I THOUGHT ABOUT WHENEVER I DID HAVE SEX WITH YOU, WHICH WAS RARELY DUE TO YOU CHEATING SO MUCH! WHO I DREAMED ABOUT MARRYING!! DON'T YOU REALISE THAT I HAVE NEVER SAID I LOVED YOU TO YOU, NOT ONCE! DID YOU NEVER NOTICE THAT I ONLY EVER REPLIED ME TOO! NOT THAT YOU HAVE EVER LOVED ME ANYWAY! BUT I ALWAYS TOLD JUNGKOOK THAT I LOVED HIM! AND EVEN IF HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS IN A ROMANTIC WAY, IT WAS!! HE IS A THOUSAND TIMES THE MAN YOU ARE!! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW I LOVED ANOTHER MAN THE WHOLE TIME I WAS WITH YOU!โ
Iโm shouting so loud that Iโm surprised the college security hasnโt come yet.
I hear someone suddenly yell out.
"YES SAVAGE!! Tell him Alice! He damn well deserves it!! He is the ultimate piece of shit!!"
I look and see that it's my old friend Yoongi who grins at me, he hates Jimin and punched him really hard once.
Jungkook is smiling at me, I can tell that he is really proud of me.
"HOW MUCH OF A BASTARD ARE YOU THAT YOUR BABY MOMMA FIANCรE IS OVER THERE, AND YOU ARE TRYING TO GET ME BACK!! WHY??? JUST SO YOU CAN TELL ME HOW FUCKING FAT I AM OR HOW I AM SOOOO DAMN LUCKY TO BE WITH YOU?? WHY?? SO YOU CAN TREAT ME LIKE SHIT AND CHEAT!! OR WAS IT JUST SO YOU COULD RUB IT IN JUNGKOOK'S FACE?! YOU KNEW HE LOVED ME AND THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE ACTUALLY LEAVING! SO HE DIDN'T HAVE TO WATCH YOU TEARING ME DOWN AND MAKING ME LOSE WHO I WAS!! YOU MADE ME LOSE ALL OF MY FRIENDS BECAUSE OF YOUR CHEATING! SLEPT WITH MY FRIENDS!! AND STILL TRIED TO TAKE THE ONLY ONE I HAD LEFT BY TRYING TO PUSH HIM TO LEAVE TOO!!"
I shout so loud that everyone is most definitely listening.
"Tell him Baby! Unload it all!"
Jungkook grins at me.
"I WILL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE!! YOUR SEX WASN'T SHIT COMPARED TO JUNGKOOK'S AND YOU DON'T EVEN COMPARE IN SIZE! HA HA!! YOU COULDN'T EVEN GET ME OFF SO I HAD TO THINK ABOUT JUNGKOOK EVERY TIME! I WAS ONLY WITH YOU TO TRY TO FORGET ABOUT JUNGKOOK! SO FUCK OFF AND DON'T TALK TO ME AGAIN! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT AND I FEEL SORRY FOR CANDICE HAVING TO PUT UP WITH YOUR TOXIC CRAP FOREVER!! I HATE YOU WITH A PASSION AND WOULDN'T CARE IF I EVER SAW YOU AGAIN! I WASTED THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE ON YOU AND I CAN NEVER GET THEM BACK! WHY WOULD I WANT TO SPEND ANOTHER THREE SECONDS MORE LISTENING TO YOUR RIDICULOUS RUBBISH! NOW LEAVE BEFORE I LET MY BOYFRIEND BEAT YOUR ASS LIKE HE HAS BEEN DYING TO DO FOR THREE YEARS!!"
I sneer at him panting from my insane rant and I move to Jungkook who looks really proud of me for standing up for myself against Jimin finally and for what I just said.
He smirks and kisses me like he misses me and I don't care, I let him.
"WOO HOO!! THAT IS THE ALICE I MISSED!"
My friend Yoongi shouts out and Namjoon hollers out too whooping, I lost both of them due to Jimin.
My old friend Denise even whistles at us because she found out exactly what Jimin was like first hand too.
Taehyung even shouts out loudly.
"ABOUT DAMN TIME JUNGKOOK! I WAS LOSING HOPE THAT ALIKOOK WAS EVER GONNA BE A REALITY!"
Jimin scoffs at us and finally marches away, my whole body goes pliant in Jungkookโs arms as I relax finally.
"I'm so fucking proud of you my Princess! My sex is much better huh, how do you know Baby? Or is that the sex you had in your dreams or imagination when you needed to get off? Hmm I like thinking that you were imagining me and I might have been imagining you at the same time"
He groans in my ear, oh he likes that I thought about him every time or had to use him to get off.
We haven't had sex yet, just a little light foreplay until we both feel ready, as we are both still healing from years of suffering and trauma we put ourselves through.
"I know. But I couldn't have him mock you Kookie! I was about to punch him and I had to give him the cold hard truth. The way he talked to you was vile, I wasnโt having it, not anymore. That was the only part I lied about though Kookie! As your dick is almost twice the size of his! THAT I didn't lie about!"
I giggle when he pecks all over my face.
"You two! Is this what I'm going to have to put up with every time I'm at Kook's now?!"
Taehyung shouts out groaning and I look to see everyone staring at our PDA, we cough and he pulls me to his lap and we sit down chuckling as we eat our dinner in peace.
Yoongi congratulates us as he walks to class with us and Namjoon said that he's proud of whoever went for it and confessed.
He was shocked when I put my hand up saying it was me, but he says he's damn proud patting my head.
Tells me that Iโm glowing and look so much happier now, that heโs so happy for us.
Yoongi tells me that he is so glad that Iโm finally free from that bullshit and Candice did me a favour.
Denise messaged me on Instagram telling me that she was sorry about what happened between us and that she is actually glad that I'm finally away from Jimin.
That he is one manipulative, toxic man.
That she was happy that I finally got with Jungkook after all those years of pining, she of course knew because I told her in high school.
But she said it was so obvious over the years that we still loved each other.
I feel so damn amazing, I have had friends talk to me again for the first time in a year and I just told Jimin where to go.
AND I finally told him the cold hard truth!
Truths I couldn't admit to even myself before and now I'm brave enough to scream them at Jimin in the cafeteria in front of everyone.
I've finally broken the chain of toxicity and distrust, I'm utterly free.
And when I look up at Jungkook I couldn't be happier, I'm finally where I was supposed to be all along, with my heart, my soulmate, my person, my Jungkook, my love, my everything.
=======================================
ยฉ๏ธ Bangtans Momma.
Please do not translate, copy, steal or repost my stories as your own, or any part of my story as your own either.
Do not feed any part of my stories into any AI software either.
Sharing the link or re-blogging is perfectly fine of course.
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Sอaอvอaอgฬฒeอ Lอoอvอeอ
Pairing: Jimin X OC. Jungkook X OC
Length: 10,000+ words
Rating: 15+ (it has no sexual activity or extreme violence, but has adult themes like cheating, toxic relationship, pregnancy and swearing, some mention of sexual themes but not graphic)
TW/Content: Angsty,angsty fluff, sadness, anger, mild violence (punching), depression, low self esteem, toxic relationship, hateful words, gaslighting, emotionally abusive, jealousy, mentally abusive, arguing and shouting, OC is chubby, unrequited love (but not really), male best friend is always there, clueless best friends, cheating, pregnancy (not OC) fluffy best friend, swearing, bad body image, Angst with happy ending, feelings exposed.
Kissing and hugging, mention of sexual things but no actual sexual content.
(Maybe in a part two if I feel like it)
But Jungkook has soft dom energy in the way he talks to her and treats her.
OC and Jimin being savage loves in their own ways. Taehyung being her secret rant buddy, who listens to her melt downs.
Genre: Angst, Toxic relationship, break up, angsty with a happy ending. Best friends being clueless.
Authors note: Not proof read but checked quickly by myself, was written in a day so it just flew out of my head.
Capitals means they are shouting or screaming at each other, which means that when she tells Jimin off she is really MAD!
Wanted to prove I could write something without the story getting sexual or yandere etc. And I would SHARE IT!
Sorry about the font, but not going over it to change it now. Had trouble with copy and paste, but I like it this way!
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Sอaอvอaอgฬฒeอ Lอoอvอeอ
Flashback
"๐ฐ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ...."
๐จ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐.
"๐ช๐จ๐ต๐ซ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฌ!!! ๐พ๐ฏ๐จ๐ป ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ!!!"
๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐.
"๐บ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐'๐!"
๐บ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ .
๐ฐ'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐.
"๐ฏ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐? ๐ฏ๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐?! ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ '๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐! ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐!!"
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐'๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐.
"๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ณ๐๐๐! ๐ฐ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐. ๐บ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ! ๐ฐ ๐ ๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐! ๐พ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐!!โ
๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ .
"๐ฌ๐ฟ๐ช๐ผ๐บ๐ฌ ๐ด๐ฌ! ๐ฐ๐ป ๐พ๐จ๐บ ๐ต๐ถ๐ป ๐จ ๐ถ๐ต๐ฌ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ป ๐บ๐ป๐จ๐ต๐ซ ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฐ๐ต!! ๐ถ๐น ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐บ!"
๐บ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
"๐บ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ช๐๐๐ ๐๐๐!"
๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
"๐ฐ ๐พ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ณ ๐ต๐ถ๐ป ๐บ๐ฏ๐ผ๐ป ๐ผ๐ท!! ๐บ๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ซ๐ฌ๐บ๐ฌ๐น๐ฝ๐ฌ๐บ ๐ป๐ถ ๐ฒ๐ต๐ถ๐พ!!"
๐บ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐.
๐ท๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐....๐ฎ๐๐๐๐!!
"๐ฐ ๐บ๐จ๐ฐ๐ซ ๐บ๐ฏ๐ผ๐ป ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ท!!"
๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ฐ ๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐'๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐!
"๐ฏ๐ถ๐พ ๐ซ๐จ๐น๐ฌ ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ป ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ด๐ ๐ญ๐จ๐ช๐ฌ!!"
๐ช๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
"๐ซ๐ ๐ต๐ถ๐ป ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐! ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐!!"
๐ฏ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
"๐ฐ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐จ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐ช๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐บ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐บ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐บ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐'๐"
๐ฏ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐.
"๐ญ๐ถ๐น ๐ญ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ๐บ ๐บ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ด๐จ๐ต๐ซ๐!!! ๐ฐ ๐บ๐จ๐ฐ๐ซ ๐ฐ ๐พ๐ถ๐ผ๐ณ๐ซ ๐ป๐ฌ๐ณ๐ณ ๐ฏ๐ฌ๐น!!"
๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ , ๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ฐ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ฌ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐พ๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐?
๐ช๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐จ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐ ๐๐'๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐!
"๐บ๐๐๐๐๐๐?"
๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐.
"๐ฐ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐บ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐, ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ .."
๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐!
"๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐! ๐ญ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฐ๐ต! ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐จ๐ป๐ฌ ๐๐ถ๐ผ!! ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ป ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ณ๐ณ ๐จ๐พ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐น๐ถ๐ด ๐ด๐ฌ!! ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ซ๐ฐ๐ซ ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฐ๐บ ๐ป๐ถ ๐ด๐ฌ!! ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ป๐น๐ฌ๐จ๐ป๐ฌ๐ซ ๐ด๐ฌ ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐บ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ป ๐จ๐ต๐ซ ๐ด๐จ๐ซ๐ฌ ๐ด๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ณ ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐บ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ป! ๐ฐ ๐พ๐จ๐บ ๐ต๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐น ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฐ๐บ ๐ฉ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ถ๐น๐ฌ ๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฌ๐ป ๐๐ถ๐ผ!!โ
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ช๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ .
"๐ฎ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐! ๐ฐ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐'๐! ๐บ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ , ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐. ๐ป๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐บ๐ป๐ซ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ . ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ , ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐! ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐๐! ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐!"
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐, ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐.
"๐ฎ๐ถ๐ถ๐ซ๐ฉ๐๐ฌ ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฐ๐ต! ๐ญ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐จ๐ต๐ซ ๐ต๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐น ๐บ๐ฏ๐ถ๐พ ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐น ๐ญ๐จ๐ช๐ฌ ๐จ๐น๐ถ๐ผ๐ต๐ซ ๐ด๐ฌ ๐จ๐ฎ๐จ๐ฐ๐ต! ๐ฐ'๐ด ๐จ๐ฉ๐บ๐ถ๐ณ๐ผ๐ป๐ฌ๐ณ๐ ๐ซ๐ถ๐ต๐ฌ!!"
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐ฐ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐.
"๐๐ฌ๐จ๐ฏ ๐ฎ๐ถ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ต๐ซ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ถ๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐จ๐ณ๐พ๐จ๐๐บ ๐ซ๐ถ! ๐ฐ'๐ด ๐บ๐ผ๐น๐ฌ ๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐พ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ณ ๐ด๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ญ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ณ ๐ฉ๐ฌ๐ป๐ป๐ฌ๐น!! ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ฏ๐จ๐ฝ๐ฌ ๐ท๐น๐ถ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฉ๐ณ๐ ๐ฉ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ต ๐บ๐ณ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ท๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ ๐พ๐ฐ๐ป๐ฏ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ด ๐จ๐ต๐๐พ๐จ๐, ๐ฐ ๐ช๐จ๐ต ๐ป๐ฌ๐ณ๐ณ ๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐พ๐จ๐ต๐ป๐ฌ๐ซ ๐ป๐ถ ๐ญ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐พ๐ฏ๐ถ๐ณ๐ฌ ๐ป๐ฐ๐ด๐ฌ!! ๐จ๐ต๐ซ ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฐ๐ป๐ฌ๐ณ๐ ๐พ๐จ๐บ๐ต'๐ป ๐ญ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ด๐ฌ ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ณ๐จ๐บ๐ป ๐บ๐ฐ๐ฟ ๐ด๐ถ๐ต๐ป๐ฏ๐บ!!"
๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐.
"๐ซ๐ถ๐ต'๐ป ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐น ๐ป๐จ๐ณ๐ฒ ๐จ๐ฉ๐ถ๐ผ๐ป ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ถ๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ป๐ฏ๐จ๐ป!!! ๐ด๐จ๐๐ฉ๐ฌ ๐ฐ ๐บ๐ฏ๐ถ๐ผ๐ณ๐ซ ๐ฏ๐จ๐ฝ๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป๐ป๐ฌ๐ต ๐พ๐ฐ๐ป๐ฏ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ถ๐น๐ฌ ๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฌ๐ป ๐๐ถ๐ผ, ๐บ๐ถ ๐ฐ ๐พ๐ถ๐ผ๐ณ๐ซ ๐ฏ๐จ๐ฝ๐ฌ ๐ต๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐น ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป ๐พ๐ฐ๐ป๐ฏ ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐น ๐จ๐บ๐บ! ๐จ๐บ ๐ฏ๐ฌ'๐บ ๐พ๐ฏ๐จ๐ป ๐จ ๐น๐ฌ๐จ๐ณ ๐ด๐จ๐ต ๐จ๐ช๐ป'๐บ ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฌ! ๐ต๐ถ๐ป ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐น ๐บ๐ฌ๐น๐ฐ๐จ๐ณ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ๐จ๐ป๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ, ๐ฌ๐ด๐ถ๐ป๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต๐จ๐ณ๐ณ๐ ๐จ๐ฉ๐ผ๐บ๐ฐ๐ฝ๐ฌ, ๐ฎ๐จ๐บ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ ๐จ๐บ๐บ!! ๐ฐ ๐ฏ๐จ๐ฝ๐ฌ ๐ต๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐น ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ๐จ๐ป๐ฌ๐ซ ๐ถ๐ต ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐ต ๐ป๐ฏ๐ถ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ฏ ๐๐ถ๐ผ ๐ซ๐ฌ๐บ๐ฌ๐น๐ฝ๐ฌ๐ซ ๐ฐ๐ป!! ๐บ๐ถ ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ท ๐ด๐ ๐ฉ๐ฌ๐บ๐ป ๐ญ๐น๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ต๐ซ๐บ ๐ต๐จ๐ด๐ฌ ๐ถ๐ผ๐ป ๐ถ๐ญ ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐น ๐บ๐ป๐ซ ๐น๐ฐ๐ซ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ต ๐ด๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐ฏ!! ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ถ๐ซ๐ฉ๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐บ๐บ๐ฏ๐ถ๐ณ๐ฌ!โ
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐!
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ป๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ช๐๐๐ ๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ฐ ๐ ๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐ ๐, ๐ฐ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐!
๐ฐ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ต๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐!
========================================
All I can do is sob and I can't think of anything else, I can't sleep, I haven't showered or bathed in four days and I haven't thought of eating either, I tried to but it tastes like cardboard.
I feel like I just got out of a fever dream, one of my own stupid making.
I bet I look dreadful, I know my eyes are swollen and bloodshot and my face is definitely all puffy and red, I know Iโm looking awful.
My hair is probably looking like a literal bird's nest right now and my eyes will also be looking black too from zero sleep.
I bet I look like the crypt keeper right now, but a fat one!
I muted my phone calls at first, then I turned it off where there were annoying notification sounds coming from all my social media too.
Some randoms I didn't even know had been messaging me, I know they are just trying to get the dirt on the absolute shit show that is my life right now.
I know they all filmed what has to be the most humiliating moment of my life, I hope my brother doesn't see it but I bet Jungkook heard about it from Taehyung who was there too.
Taehyung was a good friend to me but it was secret because he was my fellow rant buddy, he knew things I couldnโt tell the others.
So that means Jin probably does know.
I donโt want any lectures or pity parties.
I cringe knowing that everyone is gonna say I told you so, but really they all don't know the truth of why I stayed with him.
Someone was banging on my door for half an hour yesterday but I didn't answer it, just in case it was Jimin.
As I didn't want to see him or listen to his gaslighting ass.
He tried knocking on the door and calling all day Sunday after his baby momma and her friend had told me what he had done.
This is the thing he couldn't ever fix, not this time...It's permanent.
And my toxic nightmare is finally over...Itโs finally done.
Why does he always do this to me?
He always cheats on me and then comes back telling me that he was wasted, drunk or the woman came onto him.
Then he manipulates me, lies, gas lights me and then cries if I don't listen to his apologies.
He knows how much it messes with my head, with my body image, especially when the women are tall, model looking and slim.
I'm short and also chubby, I wear glasses and wear cute and comfortable clothes, not short tight dresses.
Someone is currently banging on my door again and I just pull the quilt over my head trying to hide from the whole world.
I can hear someone shouting but I just put my hands over my ears and hum childishly under the blankets wanting the shouting and banging to stop.
When the banging stops I sigh, why don't they get that I don't want anyone's pity or fake sad faces, I don't want anyone asking me bullshit questions under the guise of being nice just so they can get the tea about my trauma.
And I definitely don't want to see Jimin.
I don't want to talk about how my heart has been ripped from my chest and stomped on, and not just by Jimin.
Or how there is no coming back from this, no lie or manipulation can make this go away, it's the permanent kind of mistake that I don't want to live with or have to deal with, not anymore.
I can't keep my mind occupied from what really torments me, I usually distract my mind with the drama Jimin brings me but not anymore, this is too much.
Jimin made his bed and he can damn well lay in it, we are done and I'm finally grieving the utter disappointment, disaster and despair that my relationship with him has been.
This whole relationship has damaged my soul and will leave a permanent mark.
Toxic wasn't a strong enough word to describe what our relationship was.
When I jumped into this relationship it was to forget someone else, but it never worked.
Iโd never have to be there waiting for him to come home from the club anymore, or knowing Iโm sleeping alone yet again.
Calling him only to get voicemail again or texting and seeing that heโs left me on read for the thousandth time.
Having people DM me to tell me that they are sleeping with Jimin or that they have just seen Jimin cheating with someone.
Or the multiple womenโs scents lingering on his clothes, the occasional makeup smears on his shirt.
The marks he insists are scratches or pinch marks from working out.
My heart is no longer in my chest and I feel hollow and empty, but I also feel a strange calm, a feeling of relief that I can finally break free from this toxic and painful farce of a relationship.
It's cathartic and it feels like I have broken free from him mentally, emotionally and physically.
I'm grieving the painful loss but I'm scared of being alone after all my friends left or betrayed me because of him and of course some left because of me staying with him after his cheating.
It's been three years of me eating away my sorrows, crying into my best friend's arms, getting medication to deal with my depression and anxiety because of the pain and suffering.
Three years of my body looking worse and me not caring about my appearance anymore, because that's how I feel inside...Worthless and hollow.
Like I would never deserve or get the man I really wanted, heโs proven time and time again that he only wants to be my best friend.
When I think about it I don't ever remember a time when Jimin wasn't hurting me or making me feel like a piece of garbage.
Our honeymoon period was about six months and then it went to shit, then I found out he had cheated.
My friends all warned me away from him when I was in my first year of college and I should have listened, I was stupid and thought I could see the best in people.
One by one my friends had arguments with me about him, lost interest because of my depression and me not going out much anymore, or they slept with Jimin too.
The only ones I still see are my brother Seokjin and my best friend Jungkook, even though they don't see me as much due to them having arguments with Jimin about how he treats me.
Taehyung is sometimes still around when we are together as a group due to Jungkook and Jin though.
I see Taehyung on my own sometimes because he knows my big secret. He was there at a really bad time for me one night and saw my terrible meltdown.
No one else knows he is my rant buddy though, not even Jungkook or Jimin.
But I don't see Yoongi or Namjoon anymore because they detest Jimin.
I have lost count of the amount of times Jin had Jimin by his shirt threatening to punch his lights out.
Jungkook punched him once for sleeping with my other best friend Sharmin, they were doing it behind my back for six months.
This was at the beginning of the second year of our relationship.
My other childhood friend Denise slept with him on a drunken night out too, it was the night that I went to my auntie's wedding with Jin and Jungkook.
Jimin didn't want to come to the wedding with me because my family really hates him and he refused to be judged by them.
I wasn't aware that they all knew he was a cheater because Jin had told them.
That incident with Denise was the first time I was aware of him cheating on me, others already knew he was a cheater and they all tried to shield me from it.
They tried to force Jimin to break up with me but he never did, he would just goad them and tell them to fuck off.
Itโs why Yoongi had punched him, he was vile about it and had got up in Yoongiโs face too.
The others knew because they had caught Jimin in the act multiple times, they had all threatened him, had him by the throat and had even punched him.
A mutual friend of all of ours Taehyung took a picture of them kissing in the club that night and had sent it to Jungkookโs phone, who totally gave it away by the look on his face and I found out because I grabbed his phone feeling worried for him.
It was then that he told me everything and explained how it wasn't the first time, I also found out that day that Jimin was cheating on me the whole time.
He promised to change and I believed him like a stupid idiot, I clung to a useless pipe dream.
Should've known better.
Jungkook has been my best friend since we were six and we have both grown up together, we went through our teens learning and making mistakes.
We had shared our first kiss when we were 13, a peck and it was a dare whilst we were ditching at his house and Jungkook was a little awkward for a few weeks after but we got over it.
Nothing else like that happened for at least a year after, I think we were fifteen when it started to happen again.
Both of us started having a rebellious stage that sort of started when we were thirteen but got worse when we were both sixteen.
We were bunking off school and daring each other to do things, getting drunk and smoking weed.
We once went skinny dipping because of a dare and another time I had to flash him, we had our first French kiss together at 16 too and we made out grinding on each other when we were wasted too, but Jungkook obviously didn't remember it because he got a girlfriend two weeks later.
We are the kind of friends who are comfortable cuddling and sharing a bed, telling each other our secrets and dreams.
I had a huge crush on him all through my childhood and teen years, by the time I was sixteen I knew that I was totally in love with him.
I lamented the whole thing and tortured myself about telling him, I was worried that I would lose him.
I was finally going to tell him on my seventeenth birthday after my other friend Denise told me to go for it, but a few days before I was going to surprise him he got a girlfriend and my heart literally broke into pieces.
I stayed being his friend and had to watch him be with another girl, so I had to learn to separate my crush from my friendship.
The only boyfriend I have ever had was Jimin.
I told Jungkook I had a boyfriend when he asked me what the surprise was but I didn't have one.
I lied when he got his first girlfriend and wasn't spending as much time with me, by the time he finished with the girl I just said I split up with the fake boyfriend.
I also lied and told him I had sex with that boyfriend before I met Jimin, I didn't though.
He was disappointed at me for staying with Jimin and our relationship suffered a lot because he would get angry at me every time I forgave Jimin.
Jungkook would argue with me, with our hurt feelings he would stay away for a few days, then come back knowing how hurt I would be to lose him too.
========================================
I panic when I hear the keys unlock my front door, wondering who the hell would have the spare keys.
Who would be able to get them from my mother?
I hope it's not Seokjin as he will kill Jimin this time and I don't want him to get arrested due to me.
I grip on to my quilt when I hear the footsteps approaching, I don't want anyone to see me like this.
"Princess?"
I breath hitches immediately and I hear him sigh, he tries to pull the quilt from me.
"Baby, come on it's okay, let me see you"
I pull the quilt from my head and my lip quivers when he looks down to me with sad eyes.
"Oh my Princess, come here"
He pulls me into his arms and I straddle him crying my heart out, he smooths my back softly rocking me.
"It's okay Baby, it's gonna be okay. I'm here now and I'm gonna take care of my Princess"
Jungkook has come like he usually does. Why does he always come to save me, comfort me and look after me?
I don't deserve his kindness and love.
He's had to put up with this kind of shit for the three years of me being with Jimin and he still hasn't left this friendship.
"I heard from Taehyung that you had a huge argument in college with Jimin, he only picked up some details, I'm so sorry Baby. You don't deserve this kind of pain, my Princess. I tried calling you and texting and you didn't answer, I got really worried when you didn't answer the door to me Baby. I had to go get the keys from momma when you didn't answer the phone or the door"
He caresses my hair as he carries on gently rocking me, he's always called my Mother momma too.
"He...He...J-Jungkook..He..I.."
That's it I start sobbing again.
"It's okay Baby, you don't have to talk about it yet, don't upset yourself"
He coos at me kissing the top of my head.
"Don't cry Princess, it hurts my heart, please don't cry"
He sounds forlorn when he talks to me, itโs like he is in pain too.
My cries eventually turn into shudders and I calm down.
I must have fallen asleep in his arms because when I open my eyes again it's dark outside.
He must be stiff from holding me in the same position for so long.
"Are you awake?"
I hear him whisper and I nod into his chest.
"Shall we get you something to eat, and don't say no because I know you haven't ate anything in days, I know you by now"
He quietly says into my hair.
"Not hungry"
I mumble into his chest and he tuts at me.
"Baby, you have to eat! Now I'm gonna help sort you out and we are gonna have something to eat okay!"
Jungkook scolds me and I sigh and slowly start to nod because I know he won't take no for an answer.
"Let's run you a bath first and then get you into some comfy pyjamas, then I'm ordering us some takeaway, okay Princess"
I just mumble okay into his chest.
Jungkook places me on the sofa and goes off to run me a bath, I hear the water running and him moving about.
But being left to my own thoughts gets me crying again, by the time he comes back I'm in a state again.
"Oh my Baby! Come here!"
He says sadly pulling me into his arms picking me up, I cling to him like a koala and just sob.
I think I'm crying for many reasons, the reason I got into the relationship in the first place, the constant cheating, the outcome of said cheating, finally being done with the relationship.
How unloved, drained and damaged he has left me feeling and me feeling like I'm actually going to be free from it, it's finally over.
It's like I feel utter relief, but I'm numb because I carried on with this shit show for only one reason and now I have to live with my thoughts again, my pain.
"Come on my Princess, I'm going to help you alright. Is that okay? I won't look at you, but you need to wash and get into some clean clothes. Is that okay?"
I don't reply at first and just panic in his arms, he can't see me with no clothes on, he will be disgusted and think I look horrible.
He only saw me in underwear a few years back, once when I flashed him as a teen and once naked in the shower by mistake when I was about nineteen, I've put on weight since then.
"Princess?? Answer me! Words...Is that okay?"
Jungkook has a stern voice when he asks me and I just nod in his chest.
"Words Baby"
"Hmm okay, y-yes"
I mutter quietly.
"Okay let's go to the bathroom"
He softly replies, pecking my hair.
Jungkook puts me down and I just stare at the ground feeling flustered and embarrassed.
"Arms up Baby, good girl"
I slowly put them up and he slowly pulled my hoodie off.
Then he reaches for my t-shirt and I start to panic because I have no bra on and he is going to see my chubby belly too
Grabbing on to the bottom of my t-shirt to stop him he tuts at me.
"Princess! Are you gonna do it yourself? What's wrong?"
I shake my head and tears start to drop from my eyes.
"Y-You can't see me, I'm gross! J-Jimin said he only cheated because I've turned into a fat pig and I look disgusting! I d-don't want you to be d-disgusted by me or my fat!โ
He now looks really angry with me and he cusses loudly.
"He fucking said what?! How dare he talk about my Princess like that! I'm gonna punch his lights out when I see him next!!"
Jungkook looks furious and I start worrying that he is going to get in trouble and I'm not worth getting arrested for.
"NO!! JUNGKOOK! You can't get arrested because of me! I'm not worth it!"
I panic and he just sighs at me.
"You ARE worth it! To ME you are worth it! You are my beautiful best friend and I would go to jail...for you"
He tells me with no hesitation in his voice.
"Now stop being stupid, I could NEVER be disgusted by you! Come on, I won't look! Let's get you in the tub before it gets cold"
Jungkook adds pulling my top off looking me in my eyes, my arm goes to my belly immediately but he doesnโt say anything.
He just kneels down and tugs at my leggings looking to the side, then he gingerly takes my socks off.
Only my panties are left so he quickly yanks those down and stands up only looking me in the eyes.
"Come on Baby, get in the tub"
I quickly get in and pull my knees up to my chest, he gives me a small smile and nods to himself in reassurance, picking up my dirty clothes to put them in the washing basket.
"The sponge and body wash is there. I will help you do your hair first okay. Then you can wash yourself, alright Princess"
He quietly says pulling the shower attachment to rinse my hair, I sigh as he runs his fingers through my long tresses.
Stopping he puts shampoo on and massages it in making me hum and put my head back.
"Does that feel relaxing Baby?"
He gives me a little chuckle as I nod.
After finishing my hair he tells me to wash my body and he's going to go order some food.
I nod and gingerly pick up the sponge washing myself all over, after I'm finished he knocks back on the door and asks if I'm ready to get out.
I reply that I am and he walks in holding up a towel and wrapping me up in it.
Then he picks me up and walks me into my room.
He proceeds to dry my hair first and then tells me to dry my body, he goes off when the door buzzer sounds off.
I get myself dried and look at the loungewear set he has set down on the bed for me.
I grab the top first and quickly put it on, then I quickly pull on the bottoms.
Jungkook walks in just as I finish and gives me a small smile.
"Let's put your hair in a plait or something first. The food is here Baby, so let's hurry up and go eat"
I nod and he comes over to comb through my knotty hair, then he does it in a side plait.
Afterwards we sit down to eat, well Jungkook eats and then forces me to eat by feeding me himself when he sees that I just push my food around on my plate.
When he is satisfied that I have eaten enough he cleans the dishes and we snuggle up in my room to watch one of my comfort films.
We watch spirited away, he knows it won't trigger me or remind me of Jimin because he never watched anime with me, he hated it and called it childish.
As I cuddle up to Jungkook I wonder how I can be so lucky to have such a great best friend.
He has always been there for me, he has never left me even after the arguments we have had about Jimin.
Jungkook even put up with Jimin's horrible attitude every time he came to mine, with the constant sarcastic comments and the loud scoffing every time Jungkook talked to me.
He ignored it all just to make me happy.
He came on my birthday to see me, on Christmas days too and never forgot any important events, not like Jimin did.
Jungkook has even put me above the few girlfriends he has had and finished with them when they got jealous of our relationship, one demanded for him to stop seeing me and he refused and finished with her the next day.
He refused to go to any dances with girls that asked in high school too because he would always pgo with me.
They didn't like him calling me Princess at all or hugging me goodbye or pecking my head, or when he would hold my hand.
Or when he would drop a date to run to me because of Jimin cheating again, when he would tell them he couldn't spend Sundays with them because it was our day together.
I sometimes feel really bad anxiety and guilt about what he has given up due to me, am I stopping him from being happy, from finding love?
I actually told him this once, to stop finishing with his girlfriends because of me and he said if they didn't like his Princess then they aren't the one for him, that they have to be able to deal with the fact that his best friend is a woman.
All of his relationships were short and he told me he never loved them, that it was easy to choose me over them.
But I still feel riddled with an uncomfortable guilt about ruining his relationships and interfering with his dates too.
I feel like I'm subconsciously trying to keep him to myself or that I'm messing with his relationships on purpose because of my own problems and feelings.
That I was toxic because I stayed with Jimin not only because I was trying to forget Jungkook but because he would come comfort me and spoil me for weeks after Jimin had cheated.
========================================
Jungkook has stayed with me all week, he even called the college for me and got me my notes from any classes I needed.
He has been a godsend and an Angel like he always is.
He even spoke to Seokjin and my mother when they came round and I didn't want to talk to anyone yet.
I felt embarrassed because they were all right about Jimin and I had stubbornly ignored all the talks and advice.
Jungkook knew that there was a few videos going around and told me people were actually on my side, but I didn't want to relive it.
Apparently no one at college was saying bad things about me, he told me that they are mad at Jimin for how he treated me AND Candice.
I told him that I still needed a little time and that I wasn't ready to go back and hear the gossip yet.
Jimin tried knocking on the door twice over the last week and Jungkook said I didn't want to see him anymore.
When I finally texted him to come get his things he must have thought he could get in and gaslight me again, but he was definitely not happy when Jungkook was the one that came to the door with a box of his belongings.
He just got into a fight with Jungkook at my front door now too, his attitude stinks.
It happened right after he handed Jimin's things to him in a box because I definitely didn't want to.
Jimin clearly wasn't happy that Jungkook was still with me and had just answered the door in just a pair of sweats and socks with no top on.
Jungkook punched him hard giving him a black eye after he started goading him saying that he must have finally hit it and saw how good my fat ass bounces when you hit it from the back.
That I was really good at sucking dick and that maybe he can finally feel what it's like for me to deep throat him, he was vile with his words.
After that he said that he was glad that Jungkook could finally get with me after pining after me for so long and how horrible it must have been for Jungkook having to listen to him fuck me raw all those times he slept over.
Then I gasped when he said that he made sure that I used to scream extra loud the nights Jungkook stayed over, just to give him something to wank off to, where he felt sorry for him.
That he stayed with me just to piss Jungkook off and how he always used to laugh with his friends when he used to see how sad and love sick he was over me. Jungkook totally lost it punching him again making his nose bleed.
He was absolutely fuming when he slammed the door in his face, it made a picture fall on the floor and I could see how furious he was as he paced around the room.
I just walked over and cuddled him, it stopped his pacing, luckily it calmed him down enough to not go beat Jimin's ass, because he looked ready to go back to the front door and kill him.
When I asked him if he was okay he just kissed me on the head and then nodded silently, then quietly saying he just needed a few minutes alone, then he walked off to the bathroom slamming the door hard.
I sat there feeling really uncomfortable because of what Jimin had just said to Jungkook, surely Jungkook doesn't feel that way about me, he would have told me...Wouldn't he?
He always told me everything, we never kept secrets from each other.
Why was Jimin saying those things?
I knew Jimin was jealous of Jungkook and that's all it sounded like up until the fight I last had with him and he had mentioned Jungkook in jealousy.
But what Jimin just said to him was too much, what does he know that I don't?
What did Jimin see that I didn't?
I know that I have always loved Jungkook but he never felt that way about me, did he?
When Jungkook doesn't come out of the bathroom I quietly walk over to the door on top toes, Iโm about to knock but I pause when I hear him sniffling and clearly crying.
Why is he crying?
Do I still knock? What if he's crying because he can't take my shit anymore and all of this has finally gotten to him?
I pick up the courage to finally knock after agonising about whether to disturb him or not.
"Jungkook? Please let me in"
I plead with him, feeling guilty that he's crying because of Jimin and what he just did.
He goes quiet and I hear the tap turn on and water splashing, then I hear him let out a loud sigh.
When he finally opens the door I can clearly see that he has been crying, his eyes are red and puffy, his nose red.
He looks so down and sad when he looks at me though, I frown at his defeated demeanour.
I absolutely hate seeing him cry, Jungkook has never been one to shy away from his emotions but it has always made me cry whenever I saw him crying.
Cuddling him immediately because I can't bear to see him suffering or sad, I fling my arms around him.
His arms go around me squeezing me tightly and I hear him sniffle again.
"Jungkookie please don't cry! I hate seeing you cry Kookie. Please tell me what's wrong, what's upset you?"
I ask him mumbling into his muscular torso.
"I..I can't Princess...I can't tell you. I don't want to ruin our friendship, I don't want to lose you"
Jungkook sounds so broken as he replies to me, I'm worried that he has betrayed our friendship in some way and is too scared to tell me.
"Kookie, nothing would ever make me stop being your friend. You are my person, my everything and my soulmate. You have been there for me when everyone else betrayed me or hurt me. You know nearly all my secrets and I know yours! The only ones I haven't told you about were for the sake of our friendship. I know our friendship has been strained over the last three years because of Jimin, but you have always been there for me, even when you were mad at me, you still came back to comfort me"
I tell him still hugging him.
"Not ALL my secrets Princess, that's why I can't tell you and what do you mean for the sake of our friendship?"
He finally sighs, squeezing me a little tighter, but sounds puzzled when he asks me.
"Oh..Umm I'm not sure whether it's even worth me telling you now as it doesn't really matter because I can't go back in time and change anything"
I mumble into his chest feeling shy and too scared to tell him.
"Baby, just tell me. If it was so long ago then what does it matter?"
I sigh, biting my lip and wondering if I should just tell him.
"I...Please don't leave me if I tell you, I can't take you leaving me too Jungkook, promise me. And technically it started when I was a child but it's not long ago too as it has still not ended. Itโs still relevantโ
I inhale a big intake of air after he promises that he won't leave me, I finally tell him what I have hid from him for sixteen years.
"I had a huge crush on you all through my childhood and teenage years. But when I was sixteen I realised that I actually loved you romantically after we did that dare and kissed and got off with each other when we were drunk, but you acted like you forgot. I was going to finally tell you later on when I was seventeen after agonising about it but...but you got a girlfriend a few days before I was going to tell you. I was going to surprise you in a cute way but it was too late, so I lied when you finally asked what my surprise was and I told you I had a boyfriend, but I didn't. I...I was also a virgin and hadn't ever been with anyone else or had a boyfriend when I met Jimin when I was nineteen. You were the only person I had kissed or had ever done anything sexual with. I stayed with him because I didn't want to ruin our friendship and every time you got a new girlfriend I would just forgive Jimin because it hurt me too much to be left with my thoughts of you being with another woman. I have always felt guilty about it and felt like I was ruining your real chance at love. So I just stayed with Jimin because you kept losing your chance at love because of me being a fucking screw up and I knew you couldn't possibly love someone who looked like me. All of your girlfriends were so beautiful and looked like models, I knew I stood no chance because I'm small, not pretty and dumpy. I'm not them. I also walked in on you having sex with your girlfriend a few days later when I was seventeen and cried for a whole week. I lied and said I had the flu and didn't come to school for a whole week!!"
I stop and it's totally quiet, he doesn't say anything for a few minutes and neither do I.
I'm just waiting for him to walk out on me and tell me he could never love me like that.
"Oh Princess! I'm so sorry!"
He suddenly starts crying again, but he is not just crying he's sobbing.
"I..Th-That is all my fault!! I..I listened to a friend who told me to get a girlfriend to try to get over liking you! I didn't like her, I just didn't want to fuck up our friendship..and.. and he said I had to get over you. Because you clearly weren't interested like that, especially after you didn't acknowledge our drunken dare I thought you didn't remember either! OR that you wanted to forget it! When you lied and said you had a boyfriend, that you had had sex. I was so hurt and in my anger I slept with...with that g-girl! It was dreadful and I felt awkward doing it with someone I didn't love! WHY? WHY DID YOU LIE?! WHY TORTURE YOURSELF AND STAY WITH JIMIN BECAUSE OF ME!! YOU HURT YOURSELF AND ITS ALL BECAUSE OF ME!!"
He gets louder as he starts to sound almost angry with me.
"I lied because it fucking killed me Jungkook and my friend said that I should really try to get over it and realise that you only loved me as a best friend!! I couldn't understand how we always ended up doing things when we were drunk or daring each other but acted normal when we weren't! I saw you two all over each other on the bed the day before I told you and lied that I had sex, I went to your house and ran out when I caught you! You must have liked her or you wouldn't have been kissing her like that Jungkook! And you never told me you liked me either and after we kissed that time when we were thirteen too, you also acted like it was a mistake!! And what friend?"
I exclaim back as he is not going to just lay this at my front door!
"It was Hoseok! What does it matter now!"
He scoffs at me and I chuckle sarcastically now, he has to be kidding.
This has to be a cruel joke, Hoseok?
"You do know that Hoseok kept asking me out and I refused him loads of times! I even shouted at him one time that I was already in love with someone else. I got so exasperated with his persistence and even though I didn't admit it he guessed it was you and I just walked off without confirming it! He fucking did that because he was mad that I refused him so many times, I hope you know that! And you had so many girlfriends over the years and kept talking about your great sex life in front of me!! Even before I got with Jimin!! SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD I THINK OTHERWISE JUNGKOOK?!โ
I yell at him, sounding exasperated, throwing my arms up.
He looks really shocked at what I just said, then his whole expression darkens and he now looks really angry.
"That piece of shit!! If I ever see him again I'm gonna punch him! After you got that boyfriend I tried to act like a normal friend because I thought you didn't like me either! And I only did that the last three years because Jimin would constantly talk about doing sexual things with you every time he spoke to Taehyung in front of me! Or when I would come over even! And I literally hate fucked those women where I was so mad all the time! I never told any of them that I loved them, I always left them when they tried to tell me to stop talking to YOU! Loads of them demanded that I choose them and I NEVER DID ALICE!! I CHOSE YOU!! I never did because...because I.."
Jungkook is exclaiming really loudly at me before his defeated voice drops off getting quieter.
He sighs, running his hand over his face.
"And do you know I haven't slept with Jimin for about six months! I told him to prove he loved me. And every time he cheated again I barely went near him for ages!! So as you could imagine it was a lot of time with no sex! Because of what Jungkook?โ
Iโm so exasperated with this whole thing and it shows when I talk.
But when I ask him the last question I go dead still waiting for him to answer, it feels like ages before he finally does answers.
"Because...Because I love you Alice, I have loved you since we were kids. But I was scared to lose you and I didn't think you wanted me like that. When I kissed you that day when I was thirteen I felt so happy, but I was also scared that you would think it was a mistake and stop being friends with me. I even panicked that night when you slept over, because you almost caught me having a wet dream about you and I thought you heard me! So I joked off the kiss the next day so I wouldn't get hurt or that you would think I was moaning your name because of that! Then as we got older even though our dare's were getting more sexual you always talked about crushes and wanting to get a boyfriend one day, that you would have one who would be your best friend. But I didn't think you meant me, I thought you were going to get a new best friend and forget about me! And my friendship with you was always special to me!"
He pauses his actual rant running his fingers through his hair then he carries on sighing.
"When you got with Jimin and I had to see you kiss him for the first time I was so upset I ran off and I think Jimin saw me and realised that I loved you. That's why he said all those things! He would also start grabbing you and kissing you on purpose to see my reaction, he even used to look right at me or smirk at me. I thought it was because he knew I hated him for cheating on you, but it was to flaunt it in my fucking face! Do you know how that felt, to watch him treat the woman I loved for so long like that! Did you know that I almost left here for a once of a lifetime internship about two years ago, I couldn't watch you two together anymore. But he cheated with Sharmin just before I was going to leave and you were so upset that I couldn't leave you in that state! So I bailed on them and lost the internship! But he would always goad me saying things like you had just had make up sex and was a little sore and horrible things like that! That the neighbours complained last night because of you screaming!! But now I know it was all fucking lies!"
His hands are moving everywhere as he speaks, he looks so frustrated and angry.
I'm about to reply and he starts ranting at me again, unloading everything.
"I feel like I have been fucking stuck in limbo since I was a teenager! Never being able to move on because I can't love anyone else!! Itโs like we were in an emotional relationship! There is no one else I can imagine having kids with or marrying, no one else I could ever imagine living with because in my imagination and dreams it's always you!! They are just never you and they never will be you! It's why I always picked women that I wasn't really that attracted to and that looked the furthest thing from what you looked like! I didn't want to feel like I was using them as a replacement or as a substitute! Because no one could ever replace you in my mind!โ
He looks really hurt and is just unloading the mother of all rants on me, the pent up energy is just spilling out of him.
โOne girl finished with me because I was moaning your name in my sleep and it clearly wasn't a normal dream!! It's no wonder they were always jealous of you, I have pictures of us in my apartment everywhere. I have your clothes in my apartment, your toothbrush, your deodorant, pyjamas, your favourite food, your favourite films even!! I never called them Baby or Princess, they got no pet names! All of my phone is filled with pictures and videos of us together, my phone screen is of one of us together too! My wallpaper on my computer is even of us together!! I finished with a girl once because she threw a picture of us together as kids against a wall in a fit of jealousy and it smashed and she ruined it too! I have only had angry one night stands for eighteen months because I couldn't go through these bullshit lies about liking these women anymore! I lied about having girlfriends to you too!"
He lets out a huge huff of air where he is literally panting from spilling every last piece of frustration from the last sixteen years.
Jungkook stops his angry rant and looks down at me with a horrible hurt look in his eyes, my heart clenches at his pain because itโs my pain too.
His hand tenderly reaches for my face, placing his hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb against it.
I tenderly place my hand over his and lean into his touch, closing my eyes.
"How dare he hurt my Alice, MY ALICE! I have wanted to beat his ass so many times over the years!! Please never go back to him! I couldn't bear it, not again. I would leave for good, because I just can't handle watching it anymore Alice, itโs been destroying me. Please give me a chance, I would never treat you like that or cheat on you. I meant every word I said Baby, I love you so much. No one will ever love you as much as I love you, I love you so much that it hurts to be apart from you. I love you so much that I stayed because you are my home and my heart, my everything and I would be hollow without you"
Jungkook tells me with tenderness in his voice.
I open my eyes to finally look up at him, he leans in to give me a firm kiss on my forehead, then each cheek, then finally he leaves a lingering chaste kiss on my lips.
When he pulls away his face is still right by mine, my eyes scan his face and he is so beautiful, his dark doe eyes look more hopeful because I didn't stop him from kissing me.
I place my hand in his hair pulling his head back to mine pressing his lips against mine and as soon as his lips part I kiss him with a fervent passion my tongue caressing his, because I'm so hungry for this kiss, I'm finally able to kiss them like I have imagined so many times over the years.
He picks me up so fast making me straddle him, his lips still furiously kissing mine as he groans into my mouth.
Jungkook walks over to the sofa sitting down with me pulling me against his body, his hand moves to my waist and the other winds its fingers into my hair keeping me against his enthusiastic mouth making me whimper into the kiss.
When we pull away he keeps his lips ghosting over mine as we pant from the lack of breath.
"I love you so fucking much Jungkook! I always have and I always will, forevermore. I have never loved anyone else but you, itโs always been you. It could never be anyone but youโ
I pant as my hot breath falls against his lips.
"My Princess, my Baby, I love you with every single part of my soul. My Alice. My beautiful girl, my best friend, you have never been anyone elseโs but mineโ
He replies, squeezing me tighter.
========================================
After our big argument we decided to take it slow but we are finally together, we laugh now about how stupid we both were as teenagers.
But we have been having really long deep conversations all the time to get through the hurt we have put each other through.
We both thought it was wise to heal first and not to jump headfirst into a sexual thing yet.
I have some really happy parents right now who told us it was about time we both realised that we loved each other, that it was so obvious to everyone but us.
They are all happy that Jimin is now a thing of the past, that I finally broke it off with him.
They were terrified that I would get pregnant and have him stuck in my life for good.
It's been six weeks since I split from Jimin and he still keeps trying to call me and message me on social media.
I blocked him a few times and he keeps getting new accounts, Jungkook finally texted him and told him to back the hell off.
He wasn't happy with Jungkook and told him to mind his own business.
Every time we see him we walk off in the opposite direction before he can see us.
We have been still taking it slow and I've been back at college for two weeks now, no one has noticed that weโre a couple where we were so close before anyway.
We are liking it that way for now, so there is no pressure from anyone.
People just thought he was being extra cautious and protective with me, so they didn't say anything when he held my hand or fed me food in the cafeteria.
Well they did think that, until Jimin just tried to approach me again today in the cafeteria and Jungkook told him to get away from me.
I can see everyone already whispering and I can see his baby momma watching us with a hurt look on her face, I notice her belly looking bigger than before and her friend is definitely looking pissed.
"What fucking business is it of yours Jungkook! Let me speak to Alice and stop being the pathetic unrequited love disguised as a best friend!!"
Jimin sneers at him loudly before looking back at me, I hear an 'oh shit!' from Taehyung who knows Jungkook is probably going to punch him.
I'm about to stand up to tell him to get lost and to not speak to my boyfriend like that but Jungkook beats me to it.
"Best friend?! You are a little behind on the news Jimin. Ha ha ha!! What you say to MY GIRLFRIEND, very much affects me!"
He replies loudly standing up in his seat pushing his tray away, we hear gasps from people.
"ABOUT TIME!! IT WAS OBVIOUS!!"
Someone yells out, I dart my face to the sound source but I don't see who it is.
Pretty sure it was Taehyung though as he knew I loved Jungkook, I realised that he may have known that Jungkook loved me too.
Not that I can hold it against him as he kept my secrets, one of my darkest secrets. So itโs only fair he kept Jungkookโs secrets too.
"YOU AND HER!! Oh you finally wormed your way in there and took advantage of my little mess! I always knew you wanted to take Alice from me. Do you think I didn't see all your love sick looks and those times you would walk off when I was kissing her! She is definitely on the rebound, how does it feel to be the rebound, poor Jungkookie! How did it feel to watch the girl you loved be kissed by me and to have to listen to her getting fucked by me!!"
He mocks him, sounding really angry and Jungkook jerks towards him where he is about to grab him but Jungkook pauses his head darting to me when I slam my drink down making a mess.
Iโm just about ready to upload all of my frustration, anger and trauma on him, Iโm ready.
"SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP JIMIN!! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS THE STAND IN, THE FUCKING REPLACEMENT! WHERE I COULDN'T HAVE WHO I REALLY LOVED!! YOU COULDN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO JUNGKOOK! HE AND I HAVE BASICALLY BEEN IN AN EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP FOR SIXTEEN YEARS AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE!! BUT WE WERE TOO STUPID TO ADMIT WE HAVE LOVED EACH OTHER SINCE WE WERE CHILDREN!! HE WAS WHO I THOUGHT ABOUT WHEN I DREAMED, WHO I THOUGHT ABOUT WHENEVER I DID HAVE SEX WITH YOU, WHICH WAS RARELY DUE TO YOU CHEATING SO MUCH! WHO I DREAMED ABOUT MARRYING!! DON'T YOU REALISE THAT I HAVE NEVER SAID I LOVED YOU TO YOU, NOT ONCE! DID YOU NEVER NOTICE THAT I ONLY EVER REPLIED ME TOO! NOT THAT YOU HAVE EVER LOVED ME ANYWAY! BUT I ALWAYS TOLD JUNGKOOK THAT I LOVED HIM! AND EVEN IF HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS IN A ROMANTIC WAY, IT WAS!! HE IS A THOUSAND TIMES THE MAN YOU ARE!! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW I LOVED ANOTHER MAN THE WHOLE TIME I WAS WITH YOU!โ
Iโm shouting so loud that Iโm surprised the college security hasnโt come yet.
I hear someone suddenly yell out.
"YES SAVAGE!! Tell him Alice! He damn well deserves it!! He is the ultimate piece of shit!!"
I look and see that it's my old friend Yoongi who grins at me, he hates Jimin and punched him really hard once.
Jungkook is smiling at me, I can tell that he is really proud of me.
"HOW MUCH OF A BASTARD ARE YOU THAT YOUR BABY MOMMA FIANCรE IS OVER THERE, AND YOU ARE TRYING TO GET ME BACK!! WHY?? JUST SO YOU CAN TELL ME HOW FUCKING FAT I AM OR HOW I AM SOOOO DAMN LUCKY TO BE WITH YOU?? WHY?? SO YOU CAN TREAT ME LIKE SHIT AND CHEAT!! OR WAS IT JUST SO YOU COULD RUB IT IN JUNGKOOK'S FACE?! YOU KNEW HE LOVED ME AND THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE ACTUALLY LEAVING! SO HE DIDN'T HAVE TO WATCH YOU TEARING ME DOWN AND MAKING ME LOSE WHO I WAS!! YOU MADE ME LOSE ALL OF MY FRIENDS BECAUSE OF YOUR CHEATING! SLEPT WITH MY FRIENDS!! AND STILL TRIED TO TAKE THE ONLY ONE I HAD LEFT BY TRYING TO PUSH HIM TO LEAVE TOO!!"
I shout so loud that everyone is most definitely listening.
"Tell him Baby! Unload it all!"
Jungkook mischievously grins at me.
"I WILL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE!! YOUR SEX WASN'T SHIT COMPARED TO JUNGKOOK'S AND YOU DON'T EVEN COMPARE IN SIZE! HA HA!! YOU COULDN'T EVEN GET ME OFF SO I HAD TO THINK ABOUT JUNGKOOK EVERY TIME! I WAS ONLY WITH YOU TO TRY TO FORGET ABOUT JUNGKOOK! SO FUCK OFF AND DON'T TALK TO ME AGAIN! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT AND I FEEL SORRY FOR CANDICE HAVING TO PUT UP WITH YOUR TOXIC CRAP FOREVER!! I HATE YOU WITH A PASSION AND WOULDN'T CARE IF I EVER SAW YOU AGAIN! I WASTED THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE ON YOU AND I CAN NEVER GET THEM BACK! WHY WOULD I WANT TO SPEND ANOTHER THREE SECONDS MORE LISTENING TO YOUR RIDICULOUS RUBBISH! NOW LEAVE BEFORE I LET MY BOYFRIEND BEAT YOUR ASS LIKE HE HAS BEEN DYING TO DO FOR THREE YEARS!!"
I sneer at him panting from my insane rant and I move to Jungkook who looks really proud of me for standing up for myself against Jimin finally and for what I just said.
He smirks and kisses me like he misses me and I don't care, I let him.
"WOO HOO!! THAT IS THE ALICE I MISSED!"
My friend Yoongi shouts out and Namjoon hollers out too whooping, I lost both of them due to Jimin.
My old friend Denise even whistles at us because she found out exactly what Jimin was like first hand too.
Taehyung even shouts out loudly.
"ABOUT DAMN TIME JUNGKOOK! I WAS LOSING HOPE THAT ALIKOOK WAS EVER GONNA BE A REALITY!"
Jimin scoffs at us and finally marches away, my whole body goes pliant in Jungkookโs arms as I relax finally.
"I'm so fucking proud of you my Princess! My sex is much better huh, how do you know Baby? Or is that the sex you had in your dreams or imagination when you needed to get off? Hmm I like thinking that you were imagining me and I might have been imagining you at the same time. Now if he ever tries to get under my skin by saying something I can say that it was me who used to make you scream!โ
He groans in my ear, oh he likes that I thought about him every time or had to use him to get off.
We haven't had sex yet, just a little light foreplay until we both feel ready, as we are both still healing from years of suffering and trauma we put ourselves through.
"I know. But I couldn't have him mock you Kookie. I was about to punch him and I had to give him the cold hard truth. The way he talked to you was vile, I wasnโt having it, not anymore. That was the only part I lied about though, Kookie. As your dick is almost twice the size of his! THAT I didn't lie about!"
I giggle when he pecks all over my face.
"You two! Is this what I'm going to have to put up with every time I'm at Kook's now?!"
Taehyung shouts out groaning and I look to see everyone staring at our PDA, we cough and he pulls me to his lap and we sit down chuckling as we eat our dinner in peace.
Yoongi congratulates us as he walks to class with us and Namjoon said that he's proud of whoever went for it and confessed.
He was shocked when I put my hand up saying it was me, but he says he's damn proud patting my head.
Tells me that Iโm glowing and look so much happier now, that heโs so happy for us.
Yoongi tells me that he is so glad that Iโm finally free from that nightmare and Candice actually did me a favour.
Denise messaged me on Instagram telling me that she was sorry about what happened between us and that she is actually glad that I'm finally away from Jimin.
That he is one manipulative, toxic man.
That she was happy that I finally got with Jungkook after all those years of pining, she of course knew because I told her in high school.
She said it was so obvious over the years that we still loved each other.
I feel so damn amazing, I have had friends talk to me again for the first time in a year and I just told Jimin where to go.
AND I finally told him the cold hard truth!
Truths I couldn't admit to even myself before and now I'm brave enough to scream them at Jimin in the cafeteria in front of everyone.
I've finally broken the chain of toxicity and distrust, I'm utterly free.
And when I look up at Jungkook I couldn't be happier, I'm finally where I was supposed to be all along, with my heart, my soulmate, my person, my Jungkook, my love, my everything.
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ยฉ๏ธ Bangtans Momma.
Please do not translate, copy, steal or repost my stories as your own, or any part of my story as your own either.
Do not feed any part of my stories into any AI software either.
Sharing the link or re-blogging is perfectly fine of course.
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Oh this series is so angsty and drama filled and Iโm living for it!
Canโt wait for the next chapter as the drama is so intense and I canโt wait for the conclusion.
If you havenโt read it I suggest you start from chapter one to see why this chapter gets to be so angst ridden.
If you love messy angst with smut then this is for you!
This chapter had me in my feels, poor Jungkook! Our boy needs to grow a backbone and stand up for himself. And Yoongi needs to tell her that heโs not good too! This love triangle is living on top of angst mountain and ainโt coming down anytime soon! ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐
But Iโm still gonna watch this car wreck and have my heart squeezed!
Sinful Lust | ch 4 (myg & jjk)
โsummary: Jungkook has been living his life like he's riding a car, and he sees a wall looming closer. Will he hit, or will he find a way to avoid the collision?
โpairing: bisexual boyfriend!Yoongi x female!reader x Jungkook
โrating: 18+ (MINORS DNI)
โgenre: mostly smut, angst, snippets of life!au
โwarnings: cursing, jealousy, a flashback to how it all started five years ago, alcohol, mention of social anxiety, some sort of cheating?, explicit content: unprotected sex, jerking off, tied hands/bondage ish?, oral sex (male and female receiving, male on male, male on female), face riding, mouth fucking, choking, hair pulling, anal sex, cumshot, protected sex, sexting, nudes, a side of degradation?, facetime sex, ass slapping, guided sex, creampie
โword count: 8.6k
โa/n: Jungkook pov time babyyy! I hope you will love it <3 Thank you to @moonleeai as always for beta-ing this fic <3
โa/n pt2: I do not own BTS or any of the members. I do not know what they are like irl (I do not claim to know their personalities, sexual orientations, beliefs, etc.). This fic is just a work of fiction, so please keep that in mind while reading
โseries masterpost
โโโโโ
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Each time heโs with you and Yoongi, Jungkook has a hard time figuring out why, or how. Especially right now, as he lies under you while you fuck yourself on him.
He watches your breasts as they bounce on your chest, watches the light sheen on your skin from your sweat. Yoongi is jerking off next to Jungkook, and he canโt help but glance at that too โ Yoongiโs frowning, mouth slightly open as he grips his cock hard, pumping fast.
Your walls clench around Jungkookโs dick, and he returns his attention to you as he grunts and you let out a moan, bending forward to rest your hands on his shoulders for leverage. Jungkook lets you do it, though he tugs at his restraints, his cock twitching as his hands are held back in place.
It was Yoongiโs idea to tie him up. At the mischief lighting up your gaze, Jungkook hadnโt been able to say no, and frankly, he doesnโt think he regrets his decision.
It started with Yoongi sucking his dick while you sat on his face, and Jungkook can still taste your sleek juice in his mouth. Itโs inebriating, and he thinks heโs drunk โ or perhaps heโs just swimming in ecstasy. Even if Yoongi fucked his mouth after that.
Jungkook doesnโt particularly enjoy the bisexual action heโs been partaking in with you and Yoongi. He doesnโt dislike it, but he doesnโt feel any sexual attraction to it. He doesnโt think he would touch Yoongi if it wasnโt for your begging eyes. But whenever you look at him, whenever you tell him to do something, Jungkook folds, unable to tell you no.
Heโs convinced Yoongiโs caught up to it, yet it seems youโre still lost in the fog of oblivion. Or maybe the three of you are just too good at pretending that itโs not there, that he didnโt say yes to this whole ordeal just because he gets to fuck you.
You clench again, this time moaning his name, and Jungkook has the visceral need to pull you flush to his chest so that he can thrust into you just like he likes. Tugging at the restraints proves to be useless, and he lets out a frustrated groan even as you pick up your pace, visibly chasing your orgasm.
Itโs hot. Itโs fucking hot and Jungkook feels his balls tighten, though he reins it in โ heโs not going to come yet.
Your right hand shifts to his neck, and then youโre choking him, though your up-and-down motion grows sloppy, as if you have trouble focusing. And you barely choke him โ you were just looking for leverage, he assumes.
โBend down,โ he tells you. โFucking bend down, Iโll make you come.โ
At his words Yoongi grabs a handful of Jungkookโs hair, forcing his head back. But you do bend down, and Jungkook braces his feet on the mattress so that he can fuck into you. He sets a relentless pace, meeting Yoongiโs gaze as you moan into his neck.
Perhaps that will be enough to make him come after all. Because he knows your Yoongiโs. Knows heโll never have you any other way. But when you cling to him like you are doing right now, Jungkook likes to believe that youโre his, too.
He knows youโre coming the moment your orgasm crashes into you, and he doesnโt relent, doesnโt slow down. You moan against his skin, and Yoongi pulls on his hair harder, and Jungkook thinks maybe heโs coming too.
He keeps it in at the last second, his balls hurting from the denied orgasm. But he doesnโt want to come in such a subdued position โ heโll fucking ride you until you cry from the pleasure before.
He slows down, and you slump against him, your sweaty skin feeling like heaven against his. Heโs still looking at Yoongi, whoโs still pumping his cock hard, though he finally lets go of Jungkookโs hair. Nothing happens for a moment, until you raise your head from his neck, and then Jungkook meets your gaze.
Your cheeks are flushed red, your pupils are blown wide and you look so fucked out he feels his dick twitch inside of you. At that you moan again, and the pain in his balls increases even more because fucking hell does he need to come soon.
You smirk. You smirk and Jungkook thinks heโll go insane. Especially as you push up from him, and then his dick leaves your velvety walls as you move to the side. You grab his cock, jerking him slowly, and Jungkook looks down at himself.
Heโs covered in your juice. You came on him โ a lot โ and now youโre using it as lubrication to jerk him off and he doesnโt know right from left and up from down anymore. Heโs insane โ youโve brought him right to the land of insanity.
โGosh,โ you let out, and he focuses on your face again, though you go in and out of focus as his orgasm is still so close. โIโve soaked your dick so much you could fuck Yoons like that.โ
The orgasm recedes, and Jungkook remembers that heโs not alone with you. That Yoongi is here, and heโs been deprived of attention for a while. Jungkook does feel bad about it a little, but then again, your hand on his dick just feels too good.
Yoongi murmurs your name, adding, โDonโt push his boundaries.โ
You bite your lips, holding Jungkookโs gaze with a searing look in your eyes. โWould you fuck his ass if I ride your face again?โ
Jungkook is at a loss for words. Especially as you bend down and spit on his dick, adding lubrication to his already soaked cock.
He thinks youโre jerking Yoongi off too now, because Yoongi groans and you let out a small laugh.
โI fucking love having the two of you for myself,โ you say.
And thatโs when Jungkook knows heโll say yes. He doesnโt even care that itโs Yoongiโs ass as Yoongi sinks on him a minute later. All heโs looking at is you, and Yoongiโs ass is so fucking tight Jungkook thinks he might not get to fuck you into oblivion after all.
Yoongi moves up and down, slowly, and Jungkook grunts as you wrap your hand around his neck, choking him again. And then you force him to look at Yoongi, whoโs got his head thrown back and dick so hard Jungkook feels like Yoongiโs going to come on him in just a few strokes.
Youโre the one that reaches out to grab Yoongiโs dick, and you start jerking your boyfriend off as he keeps fucking himself on Jungkook. Jungkook watches, unable to do anything else, and when Yoongiโs ass clenches on his dick Jungkook closes his eyes.
He doesnโt want to see Yoongi coming on him. Doesnโt want to think about the fact heโs got a man on his dick right now, and not you. He just wants to feel how fucking tight it is, and how the drag on his dick is so sinful he knows he will come.
Heโs turned on. Heโs so fucking turned on by the tightness of Yoongiโs ass that he pulls at the restraints, once again trying to take control. But he canโt. He canโt, yet Yoongi bends forward somehow, and Jungkookโs mind fills with so much ecstasy from the new angle that all he can think to do is to start hammering his hips into his friend.
He comes first. He comes as heโs fucking Yoongi so hard everything hurts, and then Yoongi is coming on him, while you praise the two of them. Jungkook almost forgot that you were there, but then when he opens his eyes, itโs you that he sees first.
Perhaps because Yoongiโs hiding his face in his neck, just like you were doing earlier. And seeing you so close makes Jungkookโs orgasm linger, his dick twitching in Yoongi.
You bend down, catching Jungkookโs mouth in a languid kiss, and he kisses you back with everything in his chest, not caring that he emptied his balls in your boyfriend just a moment ago. Not when you kiss him like that โ like every swipe of your tongue on his is a hidden message, of feelings shared even though they shouldnโt be.
Yoongi moves away from Jungkook as youโre still kissing him, and Jungkook tries to hold you, to cup your cheeks, but his hands still donโt move from where Yoongi tied them up. He pushes his tongue in your mouth still, lapping you up, and right when he thinks heโll die from the lack of oxygen, you pull away from the kiss.
It takes Jungkook a moment to realize that Yoongi is gone. Youโre looking towards the door, and Jungkook is still just watching you, and something hurts in his chest. He clears his throat to push it away, which gains him your attention again.
โCan you untie me?โ he asks, voice still a little scrappy from when Yoongi fucked his mouth earlier.
You nod, and he notices you gulping. Somethingโs wrong. Something definitely is wrong between you and Yoongi, and Jungkook feels sick and twisted for it.
โSorry,โ you apologize as he mindlessly massages his shoulders, which started to ache a while ago from staying in that position for so long.
โDonโt worry about it,โ Jungkook tells you, and then he glances at his stomach. At his dick, thatโs softening on his pelvis.
Heโs covered in cum. Both his and Yoongiโs, and even yours from before all that. The sight nearly makes him gag, and he motions to the box of tissues on the night table.
โCan you pass me these?โ he asks.
You donโt answer, though you grab a handful of tissues. Jungkook makes to grab them from your hands, but you start cleaning him up. He almost gulps from the attention, from the care in each of your motions, but he focuses on looking towards the door.
He doesnโt even know if he wants Yoongi to come back. Just that it feels weird that Yoongi left so quickly.
โIs something wrong?โ you ask him, and he frowns, looking back towards you.
โNo,โ he answers. And though he doesnโt want to pry, he returns the question to you.
You finish cleaning his stomach before you move to his dick, and it feels a little strange to have a serious conversation with you while youโre cleaning up his dick, but then again, his entire relationship with you is weird.
โI donโt know,โ you admit. โI guess.โ You shrug. โHe doesnโt tell me how he feels anymore.โ
You look so sad saying the words that Jungkook feels his heart breaking in his chest. Heโs been expecting this since the very first time he had sex with you though. The moment when itโd create a wedge between you and Yoongi, or between Yoongi and him.
โOh,โ he lets out. He chews on his lower lip, tongue darting out to play with his piercing. โIโm sorry.โ
You shrug your shoulders again. โDonโt be.โ You fall silent, eyes trailing to the doorway. You take a deep breath, and then softly let it out, shaking your head slightly. โLet me just go talk to him.โ
Jungkook remains silent as you get up, and he looks away from you as you put on your clothes. And he feels far too awkward staying in your bed without you and Yoongi, so he gets up too, grabbing his clothes. He puts them on quickly, feeling the need to leave as fast as he can.
Heโll hate himself if your relationship goes to hell because of him.
So he puts everything on and then tiptoes to the front door. He curses himself when he has one of his shoes on โ he left his motorcycle helmet in the kitchen. He glances in that direction โ is that where you and Yoongi are?
He doesnโt want to interrupt a conversation between his friend and you.
But he needs the helmet. Canโt drive his motorcycle without it. So he kicks off his shoe, before walking towards the kitchen, slowly, even though it is entirely silent. He passes in front of the bathroom on the way, and there, he hears voices from behind the closed door. Muffled and low, clearly meant for you and Yoongi only, so Jungkook moves away, towards his helmet that he can now see on the counter.
He grabs it, spins on his heels to head back to the door, but he startles at the sight of Yoongi standing there.
โOh, hyung,โ is all Jungkook can think to say.
โYouโre leaving?โ Yoongi asks.
Jungkookโs gaze widens, not really knowing how to reply. โUhโฆโ He gulps. โI figured it would be better to leave you and Y/n aloneโฆโ
Yoongi nods, sighing, and his eyes close momentarily before he looks at Jungkook again. โSorry about this.โ
โAbout what?โ Jungkook asks, and he feels stupid for the question, but it just slipped out on its own.
โMaking things awkward,โ Yoongi explains. โI guessโฆ I guess I should have asked that you guys donโtโฆโ He stops speaking again, and this time he scratches the back of his head. Jungkook remains silent, giving Yoongi space to collect his thoughts. When he finally does, Yoongi says, โI donโt like you guys kissing like that? I told Y/n, and weโre going to add it to the ground rules.โ
Jungkookโs heart squeezes in his chest, yet he still nods, not wanting to hurt his older friend. Especially considering that Jungkook is the guest in this whole scenario, and not Yoongi.
โThat sounds good to me,โ Jungkook answers, even if every word pains him. โIโll stop.โ
โAnd the pet names too,โ Yoongi adds. โDonโt call her baby.โ
Thereโs possessiveness in Yoongiโs tone, and Jungkook bristles a little, though he forces himself to nod. โSure. Iโmโฆโ he trails off, eyes falling to a spot on the floor between him and Yoongi. โIโm sorry.โ
And he does feel apologetic. Guilty, even. But youโve become a drug that he canโt get enough of, and if he has to stop doing these things to be able to still get a taste of you, then he will.
โDonโt be,โ Yoongi says, and he sounds reassuring. Far more than Jungkook expected him to be in the situation. โDonโt ever feel sorry. We invited you in our relationship. If anyoneโs to blame, itโs me for not setting my boundaries more clearly.โ
At that Jungkook feels jealousy taking shape inside of him. Because Yoongi will get to kiss you, to hold you, to be yours when Jungkook will always just be the guest. But the kisses and pet names allowed him to pretend that, for just a short period of time, you were his. And now he has to let them go, to let the feeling of your lips against his be just a memory. It hurts somehow, which he reckons is stupid.
He doesnโt usually get attached to the women he fucks. But youโre different.
Youโve been different since the day he met you.
โIf you want to stay for the night, you can,โ Yoongi says in the silence that was stretching to the point of awkwardness. โGuest room is yours, as always.โ
And though he usually always stays the night, Jungkook feels the need to be alone. To ride his bike, to eat the road and feel the wind and forget about his thoughts for a moment. So he declines the offer, feeling strange as Yoongi walks him to the door.
He wishes youโd come say goodbye, but youโre in the shower from the sounds of it. He feels guilty for leaving like this, but then again, the night sky and the streetlights are awaiting outside, and itโs going to be much needed therapy.
โThanks for the invitation,โ Jungkook says once his shoes are on and heโs checked his pockets to make sure he has everything.
โOf course,โ Yoongi answers, flashing a strained smile.
Jungkook wants to ask if his friend is okay. If he wants to stop this madness altogether, but he canโt bring himself to ask.
Itโs like heโs watching a car crash into a wall, or the moments before the accident. He knows itโs about to happen, but thereโs nothing he can do to stop it.
โWeโll let you know when we want to see you again,โ Yoongi adds when Jungkook just stays standing there.
The dismissal is clear, and Jungkook nods his head once before wishing good night to his friend. Yoongi tells him to drive safe and text him when heโll get home, which Jungkook knows he wonโt do.
Perhaps because he knows he wonโt go home for a while still.
And he doesnโt. He rides in the night, aimlessly, going out of the city with only the moon high above as company. His bike roars like a beast under him, eating mile after mile until trees replace concrete, until he has to stop at a small gas station that looks straight out of a horror movie to fill the tank. The weather outside has been growing warmer, but the night is cold, and the moon has been lowering on the horizon, replaced by a sea of distant stars, each of them sparkling with all the might of their own little world.
If only you knew what you mean to him. But youโre like the stars up above โ out of reach, for the eternity of life. And though heโd wished to be an astronaut when he was a kid, Jungkook knows heโll never get to sail in the sky above, to meet you in outer space meant to belong to you and him. Not to you and Yoongi.
The thought has him climbing on his bike again, and it roars back to life as he turns the key in the engine. A second later heโs back on the road, and he doesnโt even care about where heโs going. Doesnโt even care that he might get lost, because heโs felt lost for weeks anyway.
With the wind and the stars as his lone companions, Jungkook rides through the night, seeking salvation. Seeking to forget he ever said yes, to forget that the second he felt you on his dick, he knew no one else would ever compare to you.
But heโs always felt this way. The night sky is too pretty to dwell in memories though, and Jungkook stops where the road meets the sea, only to listen to the waves hitting the shore like theyโre keen on forming their own melody. Itโs different than the one of wind in his ear, yet itโs peaceful.
Everything but his heart seems peaceful in the night. So he breathes the saline air in, lets the mist from the waves hitting the rocks cool his features, and with eyes shut Jungkook takes everything in.
And when peace finally finds his heart too, somewhere between his inhales and exhales, Jungkook climbs back on the motorcycle and heads home.
*****
If thereโs someone Jungkook knows he can talk to, itโs Namjoon. His older friend, brother, a calm presence in his life whom heโs sought the help of countless times in the past. Whenever his blood ran cold or hot from fights he won or lost in the past, whenever things donโt quite work out the way heโd hoped them too, Jungkook always knows Namjoon will be there for him.
So when Namjoon invites him over to his art gallery for a small gala heโs hosting for charity, Jungkook says yes. Because he knows heโll likely be the only one of the friend group invited, mostly because he is some sort of a celebrity to begin with. And though he doesnโt mind people knowing him for his boxing career, he also doesnโt want to just be seen as this brute that only knows how to punch other people.
Namjoon knows it, and understands it all too well. Perhaps because he was a boxer once too before he turned into an artist.
So Jungkook dons a nice outfit, a black all-denim jean and jacket combo that he was given while shooting for Calvin Klein again a couple of weeks ago. He knows heโs going to stand out in the crowd of nicely-dressed art enthusiasts, but he doesnโt care.
Maybe if he stands out enough, heโs going to attract the attention of someone that can make him forget you riding his dick like you only have one night left on this Earth.
As soon as he gets to the gallery, Jungkook heads in, motorcycle helmet in hand. He aims for Namjoonโs office, which he knows the lock password of, and he leaves his helmet there before heading into the gallery proper.
He assesses the room for a moment, anxiety spiking in his blood at the sight of so many people crowded in a place that seems like itโs about to burst. Heโs not surprised โ Namjoon is a renowned painter now, and rich people flock to him like moths to a flame hoping that they would get the chance to buy one of his pieces.
Jungkook stays by the door, hands in the pockets of his jeans as he scans the gallery, trying to figure out if anyone would be worth his attention. He notices a woman that looks about his age, if not a little older. Sheโs wearing a red dress that enhances her curves beautifully, and her long hair cascades down her back as she turns towards him, a knowing smile on her lips. Jungkook returns the smile and heโs about to head her way when Namjoon comes into his vision.
โJK!โ Namjoon lets out, happily clasping his shoulder. โI was wondering when youโd show up.โ
Jungkook watches the girl as she winces, but then she turns away, walking towards where a group of rich sons are speaking. Maybe sheโs here as the date of one of them. Jungkook reckons he doesnโt care because, frankly, even donned in that expensive dress she doesnโt look half as good as you look wearing just a t-shirt.
โNamjoon,โ Jungkook returns, forcing his disappointment away, along with the feelings you always bring up in him. โThis place is about to burst.โ
โI didnโt expect so many people to show up for the charity,โ Namjoon admits as he too scans the room. โBut itโs all for the better!โ He grabs two glasses of champagne from a server passing by, handing one to Jungkook. โWe better drink before it starts because it promises to be long.โ
Jungkook nods, clinking his glass with Namjoonโs before taking a long sip. The golden liquid bubbles in his mouth, and though Jungkook prefers whiskey, he does enjoy the taste as it slips in his throat.
โGot a lot of pieces on auction tonight?โ he enquires as his friend knocks back the whole glass, never one to entertain a glass of champagne for more than a few seconds.
Namjoon wipes his mouth with the back of a hand, nodding curtly. โFive. The rest were provided by promising artists from the community.โ
Before they can say more, a group of people approaches them, and Jungkook forces himself to participate in the conversation, offering them smiles and nods and a word here and there. It goes like this for a while, until someone ushers the room into silence so that the charity can properly start.
Jungkook slides to the back of the room, fishing a flask from an inner pocket of his jacket. He takes a swig of it, the strong taste of whiskey washing away the taste from the champagne he drank before. Itโs a thankful respite, and Jungkook finds an empty wall to lean against as the auction starts.
It takes all of six minutes before the red-dress girl heads his way, meeting him away from the rest of the crowd.
โYouโre not going to auction?โ she asks as an introduction.
Jungkook shrugs, flashing her a smile. โAre you?โ
She chuckles, and it lights up her eyes prettily. โI donโt think Iโm here for this kind of prize.โ
And just like that Jungkook knows exactly in what category she belongs. It might be harsh of him, but he recognizes her for what she is โ someone thatโs only trying to climb the social ladder, hoping that being a socialite might bring happiness into her life.
He might not have a lot of money to offer her, but for a nightโฆ
Theyโre fucking in the bathroom before heโs actually had the time to think this through. The condom on his dick feels like hell, keeping most of the sensations away, and she doesnโt feel quite as tight as you always do. As Yoongiโs ass didโฆ Yet Jungkook only pushes her head down in the sink, watching how sheโs grasping onto the edges of it, moaning unabashedly loud. The bathroom is far enough from the auction that Jungkook isnโt afraid to be heard, but he still puts his hand on her mouth, stifling her sounds.
And though he does find release, he realizes that itโs more of the haunting kind. As if his balls are still full, the ecstasy shying away from him. It only leaves him with a bitter aftertaste in mouth, and he declines the girlโs invitation to a hotel nearby.
As he watches her leave, he realizes that he doesnโt even know her name. And he doesnโt care for it. All that he cares for is to return to the auction, which thankfully is almost over. He listens to it in a daze, hoping that people canโt tell he just fucked someone, hoping that they canโt see the ghosts haunting him.
Namjoon sees them the moment the auction ends, and Jungkook tries to slip away in the night. Indeed, his older friend catches him in the office as he goes to retrieve his helmet, much like Yoongi had caught him that night when heโd established new boundaries.
โI hope youโre not leaving right away,โ Namjoon says as he heads to a decanter on a small table by a bookshelf. โJust sold a piece for a billion won, and I need someone to celebrate with me.โ
โThis is hardly the first time youโve sold a piece for that amount of money,โ Jungkook reminds his friend, but he still puts the helmet down, heading for the leather seat on one side of the desk.
Namjoon pours whiskey in two crystal glasses, handing one to Jungkook before he sits on the other side. โI still never get used to it. Thanks for coming tonight.โ
โOf course, man,โ Jungkook answers.
He takes a sip of the whiskey, a much more expensive one than the one thatโs hidden in the flask in the inner pocket of his jacket.
โSomethingโs been troubling you,โ Namjoon comments after a small silence of both of them appreciating the whiskey. Jungkook remains silent, not knowing what to say. After a while, Namjoon says, โI invited Taehyung and Seokjin, but they were caught up at the restaurant.โ
Seokjinโs restaurant. Where Taehyung and his jazz band play every now and then, offering live music to the patrons, and helping Taehyung get a good amount of listens on Spotify. Because Taehyungโs voice is smooth velvet, and Jungkook already can see his friend climbing the ladder to success.
โWhat about Hobi?โ he canโt help but ask.
โHis girlfriend was super sick, and he asked if I minded him staying with her.โ
Jungkook thinks about Ryunah, and he makes a mental note to send a text to Hoseok later to make sure that the girl is okay. Because sheโs his friend too โ Hoseok has been dating her for so long that sheโs become an integral part of the friend group too.
โAnd Yoongi said it was going to be too many people,โ Namjoon adds.
Jungkook immediately bristles at the mention of Yoongi, and Namjoon cocks an eyebrow, never one to miss anything. Jungkook tries to play it cool by taking a swig of whiskey, but he highly doubts that it works.
โYoongi is an introvert,โ he says carefully.
Namjoon purses his lips, nodding once. โAre you stillโฆโ
Heโs told Namjoon after the first time it happened. In a situation much like this one, though a lot more alcohol had been involved. So much that Jungkook had ended up spending the night on the couch of Namjoonโs loft, which lies on the third floor of this building.
โOnce in a while,โ Jungkook says, and he hates how his voice is clipped.
He knows he wears his emotions on his sleeve for all to see, and fuck he hates it.
โHow has that been going?โ Namjoon carefully asks.
Jungkook winces. He knows he canโt escape the truth, especially not when heโs speaking to Namjoon. โItโs fun. It really is, but I think itโs driving Yoongi and Y/n apart.โ
โAnd what about you and Yoongi?โ
Jungkook gulps, eyes falling to the desk between him and his friend. He doesnโt really know how to answer that question: heโs always seen Yoongi like a reliable older brother, someone that offers a helping hand when he needs it, but now he doesnโt feel like Yoongi would be inclined to help him all that much anymore.
Then again perhaps thatโs not giving his friend enough credit. Because Yoongi knows about Jungkookโs crush on you, has known since the very first day, and heโs still been a good friend to Jungkook. Even if that very first night, Jungkook believed that you were meant to be his.
Some foolish, stupid part of him will always believe it.
*****
Five years ago
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย The bar is filled to the brim with people whoโd come to watch the Olympics on the big screens. Jungkook is squeezed in one corner, Namjoon sitting so close to him heโs been trying to mold himself into the wall to try to get some air. Itโs not Namjoonโs fault โ the bar really is too crowded, and theyโve been lucky that theyโve found a place to sit amidst the chaos.
Yoongi is seated across from Jungkook, Taehyung next to him, and Seokjin and Hoseok went to get a new pitcher of beer at the bar. Jungkook glances in that direction, trying to see his friends. They arenโt there, probably headed to the toilet first, yet Jungkookโs gaze catches on something. Or rather on someone.
He doesnโt think heโs ever seen someone as beautiful as you. Maybe heโs still concussed from his latest fight, though he was the one to come out of it as the victor. Had been the one to win every fight for a while, he reckons.
But youโre an angel brought to life. Beautiful hair framing your face, big eyes taking in the bar as if youโre waiting for someone. From the distance itโs hard to tell the color of your eyes, yet Jungkook thinks they are boring right through his soul as you meet his gaze.
The corners of your lips stretch in a mindless smile, as if itโs a reaction, and Jungkook thinks heโs been brought down to his knees. It hits harder than an uppercut to the jaw, and he canโt help but smile back, though he feels clumsy and young and stupid.
You look away, and he thinks he stumbles forwards, thinks heโs sprawled on the floor when Yoongi says, โShould we go get that fucking pitcher ourselves? I think Jin and Hobi went for a smoke.โ
Jungkook meets Yoongiโs gaze, eyes slightly widened. Yoongi cocks an eyebrow in question, immediately noticing Jungkookโs state.
โWh- what?โ Jungkook lets out.
โWhatโs got you stuttering?โ Yoongi asks, laughing. โGot hit too hard last time?โ
Jungkook frowns, though he glances over his shoulder towards you again. โThereโs a girl at the bar.โ
As if he understood everything by that simple sentence, Yoongi says, โSo youโre looking to fuck?โ Itโs teasing. It really is, so Jungkook doesnโt take it as an insult when Yoongi continues, โI thought tonight was for the boys.โ
Jungkook feels his cheeks burning. โNo Iโฆ She looks like sheโs waiting for someone.โ
Yoongi moves to the side, trying to catch sight of you. He nods when he does, before looking towards Jungkook again.
โShe does.โ
โWould it be stupid to ask for her number?โ
โWhose number?โ Namjoon jumps in.
Yoongi motions towards you. โThat girl.โ
โSheโs hot,โ Taehyung answers.
โFuck, guys stop it,โ Jungkook begs, embarrassment swirling in his blood. โI shouldnโt have said anything.โ
โJust ask her for her number,โ Taehyung insists.
Jungkook shakes his head, scrunching up his nose. โNo, all good. Yoongiโs right, tonight is for the boys.โ
โI can ask for you,โ Yoongi suggests, clearly feeling a little guilty for bringing the other guys into the conversation.
โBruh, heโs a boxer, pretty sure he can ask a girl out himself,โ Taehyung jokes.
Jungkook loves Taehyung to bits, but sometimes he hates him too. Right now is one of those times. โFuck off, Tae.โ
Taehyung just grins from ear to ear, eyes bright with laughter. โLove you too.โ
โLetโs just go get that pitcher,โ Yoongi then says.
Taehyung whines as Yoongi pushes him, but they soon slide out of the booth. Namjoon doesnโt budge, and Jungkook watches the two other guys as they head to the bar. Taehyung says something in Yoongiโs ear, and Yoongi looks back towards them as he answers.
Though heโs far enough, Jungkook can read the โfuck offโ on Yoongiโs lips that makes Taehyung burst out laughing. Taehyung seems to insist, and Yoongi folds, catching Jungkookโs gaze once before nodding his head.
And then Jungkook watches them as they approach you. Heโs never seen Yoongi flirt with anyone before, and he watches in horror or maybe awe as Yoongi leans against the bar next to you, saying something that prompts you to laugh, while Taehyung stands behind him to talk to the barman.
Even though the bar is crowded, Jungkook thinks he hears your laugh. Itโs crystal clear, soft, and he wishes he could be in Yoongiโs spot. But heโs a shit flirter, usually only hitting on girls to fuck them. Itโs always been easy to him, that part, but something about the way you carry yourself tells him that it wouldnโt work with you.
He forces himself to look away, letting out a groan. Namjoon turns his head towards him, a contemplative look on his face.
โWhatโs wrong?โ he asks.
โYoongi is speaking to her,โ Jungkook says, motioning over his shoulder.
Namjoon looks in that direction, and says, โAnd they are looking this way.โ
Jungkook glances over his shoulder right away, an anxious thrill moving through his body. He catches your gaze again, though you look away immediately. Heโs pretty sure youโre blushing, though you shake your head no.
Jungkook looks away, feeling disappointed because you looked embarrassed. As if him wanting to have your number is an embarrassing thing. Or maybe heโs just overthinking everything, and Yoongi didnโt even mention him.
Taehyung comes back a few minutes later with a full pitcher. โYoongiโs still talking to that girl,โ he complains as he sits down. โShe said no to give you her number, by the way.โ
Itโs the way Taehyung says the word, as if he doesnโt give a shit about it, that prompts Jungkook to look over his shoulder again.
Indeed, youโre still speaking to Yoongi. And you look like youโre enjoying yourself, laughing and smiling as Yoongi also sports that same comfortable attitude. Itโs so rare to see Yoongi like this that Jungkook feels guilty for mentioning you, for acting as if he was entitled to you earlier.
When you rest a hand on Yoongiโs forearm where itโs resting on the counter Jungkook knows that he lost this fight. Not that it was a fight to begin with, but he still feels like he lost when Yoongi doesnโt come back for a while still, only coming back to them after Seokjin and Hoseok returned too, both smelling of cigarettes.
Yoongi sits at the head of the table, and Jungkook meets his gaze. He has a piece of paper in his hand and he hands it to Jungkook, causing silence to fall at the table.
โI got it,โ Yoongi says, a smile gracing his lips.
Jungkook thinks that itโs the same smile Yoongi was offering you earlier, as if itโs lingering around.
โAh, keep it,โ Jungkook replies. โYou two were clearly getting along.โ
Yoongi frowns slightly. โAre you sure? I wouldnโt wantโฆโ he trails off, shrugging his shoulders.
โItโs all good,โ Jungkook insists. โWe never see you getting along with women, just keep it.โ
โItโs because he prefers dick,โ Taehyung jokes, and the table is a mixture of rolling eyes and loud laughs for a few seconds.
โShut the fuck up,โ Yoongi tells Taehyung, though his features are soft as he safely puts away your number in his wallet.
Jungkook watches the piece of paper as it disappears from view, and all he can do is just hope that he wonโt regret his decision later on.
*****
The usual pain of his knuckles hitting the punching bag, of the recoil in his whole arm, is grounding. Jungkook goes through his usual routine, mind zeroing on the motions of his body, like the waves relentlessly hitting the shore. Heโs just the vessel on this ocean, and each thump of his fists against the punching bag is satisfying, in ways words canโt explain.
Itโs late. The world outside has gone dark, and Jungkook can see his reflection on the windows. From the corner of his eyes, he sees how precise each of his movements are, how fluid he is. Like a wave โ never fully stopping, never lowering his guard. He knows this dance more than he knows how to breathe.
He started boxing when he got bullied so rough that going to school had started being dangerous to him, almost twenty years ago. Then, his small fists had barely been able to make the punching bag sway, but today he has to be careful not to let his strength go unchecked.
Yet he keeps going. The motions carry him, the 1-2-2-1 in his head a litany, like itโs a prayer to a religion only he knows. He doesnโt stop, doesnโt relent, doesnโt slow down, a machine more than a human being.
Itโs the best way to evade his feelings. To find a place of cool calm where he can just be, he can just exist, instead of having to think and feel. Because lately heโs been feeling too much.
Itโs been weeks since Namjoonโs gallery show. Since Namjoon asked if a wedge was created between Yoongi and Jungkook. And though Jungkook answered with the negative, the follow-up question Namjoon asked was haunting, and he doesnโt want to think about it.
So he goes faster, hits harder. Maybe if his punches are loud enough theyโll cover the sound of his thoughts. Or maybe he should have put some music on โ the sound of his clipped breathing and grunts is haunting even to his own ears.
Frustration spikes in him, and Jungkook stops, grabbing the punching bag to keep it from swinging aimlessly. He leans his forehead against it, not caring that heโs covered in sweat and that his hair is clinging to it. He takes a few long breaths, focuses on the hammering of his heart in his chest, of the blood pumping in his veins.
And then he thinks of you, he thinks of Yoongi, and heโs right where he started this evening. Under you, under Yoongi, pleasuring the both of you while he was incapable of finding his own pleasure.
You didnโt say anything. Neither did Yoongi, or Jungkook. All of you pretended that it didnโt happen. That Jungkook hasnโt come in weeks now.
Heโs just unable to do it with you now. Not that he doesnโt want to โ he really does, but not being able to kiss you has been playing games on his mind, and most of the time he loses his erection before heโs been able to come.
He still feels pleasure. A lot of it. Far more than heโs felt in any sexual encounters before, but he just isnโt able to reach completion anymore. He thinks, when itโll find him, maybe heโll thank the God above, if thereโs even one.
Or maybe he should be thanking the one in hell.
He sighs as his breathing slowly returns to normal, and then pushes away from the punching bag to head to where he left his water bottle and shirt. Indeed, heโs shirtless, and he watches his reflection in the windows as he takes off his gloves, and then gulps down the water. He isnโt as ripped as he was before he retired from boxing, but heโs still toned, defined muscles creating a play of shadows and lights on his chest and stomach. Heโs proud of his body โ proud of the way you look at him. Proud of the way Yoongi looks at him, with lust and attraction and a side of envy. Or at least Jungkook likes to tell himself so, because he looks at Yoongi with far too much envy for it to be healthy.
He empties the water bottle, before bending down to grab his shirt. Even though heโs sweaty, Jungkook puts it on, knowing heโll throw it in the washing machine the minute he gets home. And then he heads to his locker, where he left his motorcycle helmet and keys, switching those with the gloves he always leaves here, and a second later heโs turning off the lights to the gym, before heading outside.
He locks the door, breathing in the fresh air of early spring, and then he walks over to where his bike is parked. Heโs quick to mount the motorcycle, to push the key in the ignition, and his bike purrs to life. The vibration shakes through his entire body, and then Jungkook is shooting out of the parking lot, heading home.
The streets are empty at this time of night, and Jungkook enjoys the ride, even though itโs short-lived. First thing he does when he gets home is put everything heโs wearing in the washing machine, and then he takes a really long and hot shower, hoping to erase the feeling of you and Yoongi on him.
It doesnโt work. It never fully works, and here, alone in his shower, Jungkook canโt help the lust that takes over him. Canโt help the tightening of his balls and the hardening of his dick, but he ignores it, not caring that something aches in his lower stomach from the repetitive denied orgasms.
He steps out of the shower once the water has turned cold, grabbing a towel to dry out his hair before wrapping it around his hips. Heโs about to step into his walk-in, which is connected to his bedroom, when he sees his phone lighting up where he left it next to the sink.
He frowns โ who would text him at this hour? โ before heading to the device. His heart sinks in his chest when he sees your name, mostly because you never text him so late.
Did something happen with Yoongi?
Apparently not, Jungkook thinks. Not as he reads,
[4:57 am] You: Iโm sorry about tonight
Jungkook doesnโt know what youโre apologizing for. Youโre always good, so good to him. His heart has just been playing with his mind.
[4:58 am] Jungkook: why? [4:58 am] Jungkook: donโt be sorry, you were great
It doesnโt take you long to reply. Or at least to start typing a reply. Jungkook watches the three dots appearing and disappearing for almost a whole minute before your text finally comes in.
[4:59 am] You: you didnโt cum [4:59 am] Jungkook: donโt worry about it
Maybe youโre drunk, or maybe the late hour has been getting to your head much like itโs been getting to his. Because your reply makes him so hard he thinks he might actually be able to bust tonight.
[5:00 am] You: i miss feeling you cum in me
Jungkook shuts his eyes, pinches the bridge of his nose as if that would change your reply. When he opens his eyes again, he sees that it hasnโt, that you really did say that. He doesnโt really know what to make of it. So he heads to his bed, takes off the towel and lies down, fully naked and skin still wet from the shower, right in the middle of the mattress.
[5:01 am] Jungkook: youโre filthy [5:01 am] You: only for you
Heโs going insane.
[5:02 am] Jungkook: are you sure you should be texting me this shit rn? [5:03 am] You: honestly Idk. yoons is sleeping next to me
Jungkook oh so wishes it was him next to you. Him that would get to fall asleep in your bed, him that would get to fuck you in the middle of the night whenever you canโt sleep.
[5:03 am] Jungkook: I donโt think you should be telling me this when heโs not with us [5:04 am] You: I know [5:04 am] You: I agree [5:04 am] You: but I havenโt been able to sleep bc Iโve been thinking about you filling me up, and it feels wrong to wake yoons up for this [5:05 am] Jungkook: maybe u should wake him up. Maybe you can ride him with your eyes closed thinking that itโs me
Jungkook starts jerking off right then and there. He feels like what heโs doing is wrong, far too wrong, but somehow, heโs aroused by the thought of you unable to sleep because of him, because you want him so desperately.
You donโt reply for a while. And he doesnโt think he deserves a reply. He knows heโll hate himself as soon as his lust passes, if it ever does.
So he shuts his eyes. Remembers the first time he felt your walls clenching around his dick, and he squeezes himself harder to try to reproduce the feeling. Nothing compares, but youโre there, printed behind his closed eyelids, and he thinks maybe heโll finally be able to come.
His phone vibrates, and like an addict in need of a hit he quickly grabs it where he left it on his mattress. And when he sees what you sent, he goes into a frenzy heโll only later describe as the stupidest moment of his life.
You sent him a nude. He canโt see your face, but your lips are on full display, your breasts the centerpiece of the picture. Your nipples are perked prettily, as if just begging for him to suck on them, and he squeezes his dick so hard it actually fucking hurts.
He doesnโt hesitate. He takes a picture of himself that he sends to you, the tip of his dick leaking with precum.
[5:09 am] Jungkook: Iโm so fkg hard for you [5:10 am] You: just fucking cum, jk, it shouldnโt be that hard
The degradation in the sentence sends him flying over the edge, and he grunts loudly as he does come on his stomach. He picks up his pace, milks his orgasm as it runs through him, alighting every single one of his nerves with pleasure. Heโs shaking when heโs done, feeling weak and blissed and like heโs just committed something unforgivable. He wonders if you feel the same, lying in bed next to Yoongi.
Something breaks. Something physically breaks in him and he hates it. Hates every moment that led him to do this, to do the irreparable to one of his friends. He reckons, if Yoongi hates him forever, heโll deserve it. Because he knows he wonโt be able to hide this from his friend, knows thatโฆ
His phone rings, breaking him out of his train of thoughts. To his surprise, and mostly fear, itโs Yoongi calling on Facetime. Jungkook swallows a lump in his throat as he answers, the camera obviously angled towards his face.
Yoongi appears a few seconds later, looking half asleep. โSo youโre sending nudes to my girlfriend now?โ
Jungkook feels tears burning in his eyes. โIโm so sorryโฆโ
Yoongi laughs, and it breaks into a moan that makes the tears still in Jungkookโs eyes.
โShe wanted me toโฆโ Yoongi grunts. โCall you to show you what youโve done to her.โ
And then the camera flips, and itโs your ass on display as you ride Yoongi in reverse cowgirl. Every thought eddies out of Jungkookโs head, and he just watches, entirely forgetting that heโs covered in his own cum when you moan.
Yoongiโs cock glistens in the dim light of the lamp on your night table. Youโre so wet Jungkook can hear it through the phone, and his arousal spikes, waking something in him.
โWhy donโt you slap her ass?โ he tells Yoongi, voice low and dark. โTo punish her for what she did tonight.โ
Yoongi doesnโt even hesitate. And he slaps so hard Jungkook can see his imprint slowly forming on your skin. Itโs sinful, and he does feel bad because the sound you let out is slightly pained, until Yoongi massages your ass and you moan.
Then Jungkook disconnects from reality. Or maybe he dissociates. He knows he tells Yoongi what to do. Knows he tells Yoongi to fuck you in doggy style, to pull at your hair and mark your back with his nails. He guides his friend through the whole thing until his own dick is aching again, ready to go even though he already came. So he jerks himself off, the pain in his chest increasing yet heโs unable to pay attention to it. Unable to do anything other than watch you and Yoongi fuck like animals, until Yoongi comes and pulls out to let Jungkook see his cum dripping out of your cunt.
Jungkook comes at the sight. Not as much as he did earlier, but he still grunts and moans and curses as new cum meets the one that was already on his stomach. He feels even more disgusting, but you and Yoongi donโt seem to notice. Indeed, you invite Jungkook over the next day, and maybe heโs just a little too distracted to notice the shadows in Yoongiโs gaze.
Jungkook accepts the invitation, knowing that heโll never be able to say no to you. And when you finally hang up, after having spoken for a few minutes, Jungkook barely has the strength to drag himself to the shower to clean up.
Once heโs lying back in bed, he feels like heโs spinning. Like the Earth has sped up, or maybe like heโs a mere sock getting tossed around in the dryer. Itโs sickening, just like that feeling thatโs clutching at his guts, and thatโs been clutching at his guts for a while now.
Because his bed is empty, cold. His bed is always empty and cold. He doesnโt have you by his side, doesnโt have someone to warm up the covers. Hasnโt had anyone to warm up his covers in what feels like forever now.
And so his heart breaks, even more. It aches like acid was poured on it, and no amount of breathing techniques heโd used to get in the game before his boxing matches help. No, the tears win, and though he feels weak for it, he lets them free. Lets them be testaments of his feelings for you, of the loneliness thatโs been creeping on him every fucking day since he felt you on his dick for the first time.
The car looms closer to the wall and tonight, Jungkook thinks it may very well meet its end sooner than expected.
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*chuckles* we're in danger. What did you guys think about this one? I'm so afraid you won't like the direction this fic is taking :') let me know what you think!
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I loved this!! Yes ๐๐ป
As an Og Usher fan and a Jungkook fan Iโm very happy, I loved how he was doing his own moves too and adding some Usher spice to it ๐๐ซ