Dont Lie.

Don‘t lie.

You‘ve written this in bold font in your mental guidebook. It was filled with rules and routines you learned were essential when living with Feitan and you hoped you would still remember the next day. With how much you started to dissociate and started to forget more and more little things, it truly was a concern for you.

‘‘Don‘t lie‘‘. You were sure that was one of the very first rules you noted. From the very day he took you. He made sure to make it very clear that lying would do nothing to save you, instead landing you a VIP seat in the basement. You‘ve seen it before, way too often actually. That gory, gory basement. It was the highlight of your nightly nightmares, as you always feard you‘d end up down there for reasons other than doing the laundry.

Now that you thought about it, you wondered why you still thought a lie to be a good choice. You knew he can tell when you are not truthful. That should naturally lead to you always to tell the truth, right? If only. You remembered the last time you told him your true thoughts right to his face. At the end of it, you had the corners of your mouth stitched up into a wide, painfully wide, smile. “No, I am NOT happy. How can anything you‘ve done to me make me feel any type of joy?!“ He seemed to see that as a challenge. You remembered having the black threat tightly secured in your flesh for weeks, until you finally figured out how to make him take them out. Simply smile at him. (More like crinkle your eyes a bit to seem a little more genuine.)

You still had bruises where the threat was laying and digging into your skin weeks later.

Lying didn‘t do good. Being truthful didn‘t do good. What else was left?

Yandere themes

Hunter x Hunter_Phantom Troupe_Masterlist

Feitan Portor x gn! reader

Response

"You slept well?"

A question that should be relatively easy to answer. Even if one would consider the quality of their slumber to be hard to put into words, or determine if it was a positive experience or not, that question shouldn’t leave someone with a tight throat. Locking eyes with your captor for a second, you pondered about how you should answer. Answering truthfully, as if it wasn’t the cold-hearted man who kidnapped you that was standing in front of you, and instead someone you’d deem close to you like a friend, actually was pretty easy; No, you slept horribly. Insomnia already had been in your life for a while, but this was getting on a new level.

Your heart was always beating so hard you could feel it all across your body. Every little sound made you flinch. And the blinking, red light of the camera in the upper corner of the room had you frozen, scared to move. Under these circumstances (and more) it was obviously hard to relax, which is why you only ever were able to fall asleep when you were absolutely exhausted and could barely keep your eyes open. (Unless Feitan felt generous enough to drug your drink with sleep medicine) Still, you rarely fell into a deep slumber. And instead your situation plagued you even further in dreamland. What you had hoped could be an escape from the “love“ of your captor revealed itself as something just as horrific, maybe even more so.

On good nights, your nightmares simply replayed some scenarios you felt uncomfortable in, on bad nights, they replayed scenes you prayed to only witness in fiction. And on the worst nights, your fears of what else could happen, no matter how silly the thought was, welcome themselves in as well. You started cursing out that part of your brain that was responsible for the images of your inner eyes for it being just as much of a sadist as the one demanding you to call him your lover.

Lover.

It was clear to you that Feitan‘s attraction to you was more obsession than anything more innocent and pure like “love“. You dared to utter those thoughts to him only once before. The way his eyes wrinkled with joy at your words made you regret your words instantly, you couldn‘t even begin to guess why he was smiling befind the big collar. Was he amused by your guts to dare say such a thing to his face? Was he content with the word you used to describe his feelings towards you? Was he imagining your face twisting in pain as he punished you for your boldness? It never came clear to you, and that‘s why you went back to walking on egg shells around the man, more on your toes than ever. Oh, how you wished you could read him better, or he would reveal more of his wants, you believed it would make your life- no, this wasn‘t a life- your stay much easier. And maybe a good rest, with nothing but an endless void of nothingness in your mind, would find its way to you. A fantasy like this was all the hope you could get, so you took it, wholeheartedly.

Feitan raised a brow at your hesitation. This was a simple ‘yes‘ or ‘no‘ question, answering shouldn’t take so long even if you were an idiot sometimes. He was not oblivious to the war going on inside your head wether you should speak the truth or not. That was exactly the reason why he thought you were an idiot. The hand sliding over your waist had you snapping out of your thoughts and your gaze back to the black-haired laying next to you on the bed. The soft circles of his thumb over your exposed skin was a huge contrast to the cuts and bruises he gifted you before. So much of a clear contrast that you got the feeling he was urging you into choosing one answer over the other. A hint of how you could make the day into a good one for yourself. A hint of what he wanted.

You took it, clutching the shimmer of hope in your hand as you sighed, “Yeah, I slept real good.“, your smile was small, but present. You even made sure to wrinkle your eyes just a tiny bit to make it look real. And you really hoped that would be enough happiness, even if it was faux, to satisfy him and his sick, twisted views. His lips closed into a straight line, face free from his seemingly constant frown, and you cheered for yourself in victory. You allowed him to pull you closer to him. If this is what you had to endure to have one good day, then so be it. You sighed again, this time with a real, relieved smile, snuggling closer to your ‘lover‘ to make him think you really meant it, just so you can relax for once. The hand that didn‘t rest on your waist crawled up into your hair, fingers combing through your locks. Okay, maybe putting your hand on his chest is a good way to respond.

One harsh tug on your hair destroyed all the hope you had, and you couldn‘t help but gasp in shock. With your hair in his tight grip, he angled your head so you‘d be looking at him. There it was, the frown. But! But didn‘t you respond the way he wanted? He was always the one who wanted to pretend what was going on in this house was okay, and saying otherwise was just asking for punishment. So why-

“You lying.“, oh, “I watched you sleep. Could barely relax your face.“, a smile edged on his face, “Now, what do liars deserve?“

Hunting Dogs_Masterlist

Main BSD Masterlist Rules for requesting

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relations romantic: none platonic: none

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Tetchou Suehiro (male, ??y.o, March 15th, ??cm, ??kg, blood: ??)

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Armed Detective Agency Port Mafia Decay of the Angel Hunting Dogs

Rules for requesting

It took me a hot second to see Choso's mark on his face as his mark and NOT a mustache

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