adult-he/him Commision me! https://ko-fi.com/banzaitaka
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How Not to Court Your Crush: A Disaster in Six Acts - Malleus Draconia x reader
You're trying to court Malleus so why is he acting so weird? Malleus is trying to court you, so why are you acting so weird.
aka you try fae courtship and malleus tries human courtship, you both fail spectacularly.
Scene 1: The Offering of... Chaos?
You were determined. Absolutely, one hundred percent determined to win over Malleus Draconia’s heart the fae way. You’d done your research—well, half-researched. You might’ve skimmed some books. Okay, maybe you watched some video where a guy talked about it for 10 minutes. But still! You were ready to tackle fae courting, head-on.
Which is why you were standing in the middle of the campus courtyard holding a potted mandrake. Because, according to some source (you couldn’t quite remember which), gifting rare plants was a surefire way to court a fae prince.
Unfortunately, no one told you that the mandrake in question would scream like a banshee as soon as you yanked it out of the dirt.
"Behold!" You shouted, thrusting the potted terror toward Malleus, who had appeared in his usual fashion—stealthy and majestic, like a dragon perching on a mountain. "A rare gift for the noble Prince of Briar Valley!"
The mandrake, in all its wailing glory, let out a soul-piercing shriek. Nearby students flung themselves behind trees and bushes. Sebek fainted. Silver, as usual, napped through the chaos.
Malleus blinked at you. Once. Twice. His face was a mixture of confusion and slight amusement. "Are you... trying to summon something?"
You frowned. "Summon? No! This is for you!" You held the screaming mandrake higher, like an offering to some ancient god. "As a... token of my appreciation! You like plants, right?"
The mandrake let out a final, particularly blood-curdling scream before going silent, wilting slightly in the pot. Malleus blinked once. Twice. “I... do like plants, yes. But usually... not ones that wish to harm me.”
You grinned, proud of your extremely thoughtful choice. “Well, this one just has personality!”
Malleus cautiously took the pot from you, staring down at the now exhausted mandrake. “Thank you,” he said, sounding unsure if you were joking or being sincere. “I’ll... treasure it.”
Somewhere in the distance, Ace and Deuce exchanged pitying looks. “Man,” Ace muttered, “he doesn’t deserve this.”
Scene 2: The Worst Poem Ever Written
Malleus had been doing his own research—much more thorough than yours, of course. He’d read books. Lots of them. Mostly ancient tomes from his castle library that were centuries old. After all, human courting customs couldn’t have changed that much, right?
His plan was foolproof: Humans enjoyed poetry. Therefore, he would craft you the most beautiful, heart-stopping poem ever written, and your affection for him would blossom like the midnight roses of Briar Valley.
He found you sitting under a tree near the school, probably recovering from your last spectacular fae courting attempt (the less said about the mandrake incident, the better). Malleus approached with all the grace of a dark prince, his black cloak billowing in the wind, carrying a scroll in his hand.
"Dearest," he began, as you looked up from your phone. "I have composed a poem for you. An ode to your beauty and grace."
Your eyebrows shot up. "Really?"
"Yes. Please, allow me." He unfurled the scroll dramatically.
You sat back, intrigued. This was either going to be a disaster or absolute gold. Either way, you were ready.
Malleus cleared his throat, then began to read with all the gravitas of a Shakespearean actor:
"Your hair, like the moss that grows on the oldest tombstones,
Your eyes, like the deepest, darkest, creepiest of wells,
Your voice, as soothing as the distant scream of a lost soul..."
You snorted. "What?"
"Your beauty is like the moon, that I can never reach, because it is in the sky... far away... and also made of rock." He paused, glancing at you hopefully. “Do you like it so far?”
You bit your lip, desperately trying not to laugh. "Um... It's... something. Keep going."
Malleus beamed. "There’s more!"
"Your hands, soft like the belly of a small woodland creature..." He continued, and you finally lost it, howling with laughter. “Is it not... moving?”
You waved your hands, barely able to breathe through your giggles. "Malleus! Are you... Are you serious?!"
“I thought humans liked dark poetry,” he said, looking genuinely concerned.
“Well, some do, but—” You stopped yourself, trying not to laugh. “No, wait, keep going. I want to hear more.”
Malleus, relieved, continued. “Your beauty is like the full moon—cold, distant, and surrounded by darkness.”
Somewhere behind a nearby tree, Lilia was biting his lip to stop from laughing, while Ace and Deuce shared looks of absolute pity for their friend and Malleus.
Ace shook his head. “Poor guy. He’s trying so hard.”
Scene 3: The... Ambush?
Since the plant-gifting thing didn’t go quite as planned, you decided that maybe a more public display of affection would be the ticket. According to something you half-remembered (and maybe misunderstood), fae really appreciated grand gestures of intent. So, naturally, you chose the school cafeteria at lunchtime as your stage.
As you climbed on top of a table, all eyes turned toward you. Malleus sat at a corner table, watching you with his usual calm, collected demeanor, but you could see the confusion in his eyes.
"Prince Malleus!" you shouted dramatically, lifting your arms in the air. “I declare before all of these witnesses that I shall offer this to you!”
The cafeteria fell into dead silence. Well, except for Lilia, who was quietly choking on his laughter in the background.
Malleus blinked, his expression unreadable. “You... what?”
"Yes! I offer you—" you pulled out the cabbage you’d swiped from the kitchen earlier—"this symbol of my devotion!"
Malleus stared at the cabbage in your hands. "Is that... a vegetable?"
“Yes! It’s a sign of fertility or... something.” You weren’t entirely sure, but it sounded right. “I picked it myself!”
Malleus blinked again, clearly trying to process this information. “I... appreciate the gesture."
Lilia butts in. "Beastie, I’m afraid cabbages aren’t typically used in fae courting rituals.”
You pouted, hopping off the table. “What? But I read that—"
“Perhaps... next time, try flowers?”
Behind you, Ace facepalmed. “Oh, man. They're hopeless.”
Scene 4: The Gift of... Dirt?
Malleus was now absolutely convinced that something was seriously wrong with you. You seemed... more chaotic than usual, and while he enjoyed your enthusiasm, he had no idea why you were suddenly thrusting vegetables at him.
In his effort to reciprocate (and maybe figure out what was going on), he decided to give you a gift of his own. A very special one. From his homeland.
After all, humans liked sentimental gifts, right?
That’s why, one morning, he approached you with a small velvet pouch in his hand, his face filled with sincerity. “Child of Man, I have something for you.”
“Oh?” You tilted your head, curious. “What’s that?”
He handed you the pouch, and you opened it, only to find... dirt. Black, slightly glittery dirt.
You stared at it. Then at him. Then back at the dirt. “Is this... dirt?”
“Yes,” Malleus said proudly. “From Briar Valley. It’s a very special soil, infused with the magic of my homeland.”
You blinked. “You got me dirt.”
“Very magical dirt,” he corrected, as if that made it better.
You bit back a laugh, trying to keep a straight face. “Um... thanks?”
Ace, watching from a distance, nudged Deuce. “Man, They're gonna end up with a garden at this rate.”
Scene 5: The Unnecessary Duel
Clearly, you had been doing something wrong, because your attempts at fae courtship had been met with nothing but polite confusion. But you were nothing if not determined. The next step in your (completely misguided) strategy? Prove your strength in battle. Duh.
You marched up to Malleus one afternoon, sword in hand, and pointed it at his chest. "Malleus Draconia! I challenge you to a duel!"
Malleus blinked at you, clearly baffled. “A duel? With... me?”
“Yes!” you declared, brandishing the sword with a flourish. “I shall prove myself worthy of your admiration through combat!”
Malleus tilted his head. “You... wish to fight me?”
You nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! To the death! Or until someone taps out. Whatever works.”
Malleus looked utterly bewildered but amused. “I... see. But are you sure this is necessary?”
"Absolutely. I need to show you my strength." You tried to strike a dramatic pose, but the sword was way heavier than it looked.
Lilia, perched nearby, was barely containing his laughter. “Oh, this is too good.”
Malleus raised his hand. “Perhaps another time. I would not want to harm you.”
You frowned. “Harm me? Pfft. I’m tougher than I look, dragon boy.”
Scene 6: The Romantic Walk—Through a Thunderstorm
Malleus had one last idea. Humans, he’d read, liked romantic walks. That was simple, right? No vegetables. No poetry. Just a quiet stroll. What could possibly go wrong?
Unfortunately, he decided to take you for a walk through the forest on a day when the sky decided to unleash the full wrath of a thunderstorm. And because he was a fae, storms didn’t bother him.
You, on the other hand, were not a fan of being drenched to the bone.
The rain came down in sheets, lightning crackling overhead as you both trudged through the mud. You tried to keep your umbrella steady, but the wind whipped it inside out almost immediately.
“Malleus,” you called over the storm, shouting to be heard. “Why are we walking in this? Are you trying to drown me?”
Malleus, entirely unfazed by the downpour, turned to you, his face serious. “I thought a walk through nature would be a calming experience for you.”
You stared at him, your hair sticking to your face, clothes soaked through, and boots filled with mud. “Calming?! I’m about to be struck by lightning!”
He blinked, as if only now realizing the storm might be an issue for you. “Ah, I see. Humans are... more susceptible to storms. My apologies.”
“Ya think?” You huffed, clutching your now-ruined umbrella. “A ‘romantic stroll’ usually involves good weather.”
Malleus frowned, looking genuinely troubled. “I thought the power of the storm would inspire awe.”
“Yeah, it’s inspiring me to run back inside.” You sighed, shivering. “This is... sweet, I guess. But, uh, maybe next time we check the weather before planning any ‘romantic’ activities?”
As you struggled to wipe rain from your face, you caught a glimpse of Lilia again—he was standing under a tree, dry as could be, watching the scene unfold with glee. His mischievous grin practically radiated from the shadows.
“You’re having fun with this, aren’t you?” you shouted toward him, but Lilia just waved, clearly loving the chaos.
Malleus, still deep in thought about his failed attempt at human courtship, suddenly looked serious. “Perhaps a different form of human bonding is needed next time.”
Behind you, Ace and Deuce were trailing a safe distance away, both dripping wet but trying to keep from laughing too loudly.
“Man,” Ace muttered, shaking his head. “They're gonna give the poor guy a heart attack one day.”
Deuce nodded solemnly. “Or he’ll get us all killed.”
After days of mutual confusion and failed courtship rituals, you found yourself, once again, sitting with Malleus in one of the school’s many quiet courtyards.
“Y’know,” you began, squinting at him. “I feel like you’ve been acting weird lately.”
Malleus gave you a similar look. “I’ve been thinking the same about you.”
You blinked. “Wait, me? What do you mean?”
“Well,” Malleus said, his brow furrowed, “you’ve been offering me... odd gifts. Vegetables. Challenging me to duels. Declaring intentions in public spaces. It’s... unusual.”
You froze. “That’s... fae courtship. I’ve been trying to... y’know...”
Malleus’ eyes widened. “You’ve been attempting to court me?”
Your face flushed. “Well, yeah! I thought you were acting strange, so I figured you were waiting for someone to, I don’t know, woo you.”
Malleus’ confusion quickly shifted to amusement. “I’ve been trying to court you this whole time.”
Your jaw dropped. “You’re what?!”
“I believed you were in distress, so I attempted human courting rituals. Clearly, they didn’t go as planned.”
You both stared at each other for a long moment, the realization of mutual failure sinking in. Then, unexpectedly, you burst out laughing, and Malleus, after a moment, chuckled too.
“Well,” you managed between laughs, “we really suck at this.”
“Indeed,” Malleus agreed, his eyes warm with amusement. “Perhaps next time, we should... communicate better.”
“Yeah,” you said, wiping a tear from your eye. “That might help.”
From a safe distance, Lilia watched, his face beaming with pride. “Ah, young love,” he sighed dramatically. “How wonderfully chaotic.”
Ace shook his head, utterly done with the entire situation. “They’re hopeless.”
Deuce nodded in agreement. “At least it’s finally over... right?”
They're so stupid (affectionate)
Masterlist
My boy in his PE uniform
Character sheet is a wip, but here we go
Will need to redraw this and add the legs 💀 Only decided I wanted full body sprites after I reached this point kfdokfkg It's fine, the jacket bothers me a whole lot anyway
Dr. Stone Masterlist
Byakuya Ishigami
platonic
none
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Chrome
platonic
none
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Gen Asagiri
romantic
none
platonic
none
.
Hyoga Akatsuki
romantic
none
platonic
none
.
Kinro
romantic
none
platonic
none
.
Ryusui Nanami
romantic
none
platonic
none
.
Senku Ishigami
romantic
none
platonic
none
.
Taiju Oki
platonic
none
.
Tsukasa Shishio
romantic
none
platonic
none
.
Ukyo Saionji
romantic
none
platonic
none
Twisted Wonderland Card Backgrounds
Not sure if these have been done yet, but have some poorly edited backgrounds from the TwistLand cards. I needed one for a picture, but then I decided to do all 7.
Now you all can make your own cards too!
Hi, there! :D
I saw your Bingo card with the Twst characters, I don't know if I can make an order here: Blushing with Silver <3 (It wasn't clear to me if I could request it or if it had to be a commission) (But in case I was confused you can ignore my request) But if not, take your time and don't pressure you, thanks
Ooooh that's going to be adorable!
Don't worry, you've done it right✨you can also leave it as a comment under one of the posts
Love how much you all like this little project, and excited to make more🦆 I'll tag you, once it's done
Hey, where did you get the Feelin’ Fluffy Bingo card? Did you make it yourself?
It's by Creweemaeec11 here on tumblr
You can find it by going to their page and search for "bingo"
Finally done with this lol Again, feel free to assign Twisted Wonderland characters to the prompts below
#2 "Proposal" - Malleus Draconia
Lilia's knowledge comes purely from funny marriage proposal videos Cater showed him
Check out the creator of this bingo card!
I dreamt of Blue Lock so here you go
Blaming everything bad about this on my half awake mind
No pronouns or description of body used for reader.
Blue Lock BF texts
Characters: Yoichi Isagi, Meguru Bachira, Reo Mikage, Seishiro Nagi
Yoichi Isagi
Meguru Bachira
Reo Mikage
Seishiro Nagi
It's 23:30 pm and tomorrow is my first day at school after not doing anything after graduation for 2 years- wish me luck😭🤌🏻
I'm literally so excited, but also so scared. This is my chance on getting the qualifications to study acting which is my absolute dream job
I AM READY-ISH FOR THIS
GRADUALLY TAKING STEPS TOWARDS MY DREAM
Yeehaw
Love how the first person to actually respond to my response turned out to be a scammer IM CRYING AND LAUGHING AND CRYING EVEN MORE
It was so obvious too, but damn
Thought I had my first customer
My art commissions are officially OPEN!
Visit my Ko-fi✨
hii!! not sure if you take requests but if you can i request riddle, epel and azul from twst hcs of them on how they get flustered because of their s/o? like what their reactions will be and how to make them a blushing mess (sorry if my english feels wrong it's not my first language 😥)
[Hiiiiiii
Your English is perfectly fine, don‘t worry!
I must apologise there ain‘t much Riddle or Epel in this sdfsjdfio I actually don‘t have much focus on them, so even thinking of that little took a lot of time and staring at their groovy-fied cards lol]
Characters: Riddle Rosehearts, Azul Ashengrotto, Epel Felmier
No pronouns, gendered terms or description of body used for reader.
Twisted Wonderland_Masterlist
Riddle Rosehearts
One easy way to fluster Riddle is to smother him with physical affection. It’s so foreign and new to him, he just doesn’t know what to do. If you hug him, he either stops entirely or needs more time to get the words out. His arms would hang in the air awkwardly before he rests his fist on your back. He’s too shy to actually-actually touch you.
The pout he gives if you point it out to him is absolutely priceless.
Azul Ashengrotto
Heartfelt compliments is the way to go with Azul. He may say good things about him and his ability, but having it actually reinforced by someone he holds so dearly is going to make him melt. Don’t only say good things about his present self, do the same to his past self. Tell him you love him. And that includes the little octomer too.
It not only flusters him, but also makes him emotional. How much of that he showcases to you shows how comfortable and safe he feels with you.
He stutters and fumbles for a while, eventually ending it with a voice crack, “AaAh!” before he excuses himself. He stays hidden from public eye until the redness in his face subsides completely and he looks put together again.
Azul will halfheartedly avoid you for a few more minutes after that, just because he knows he’ll melt again if he comes too close to you.
Mention it in private?? Oh boy, he buries his face in your neck, your chest, or your shoulder. He wants to hide so bad, but he also wants to be close to you. Seems like this is gonna turn into a cuddle filled with little whines. Please, you’re killing him.
Epel Felmier
Acknowledge Epel’s cool side. He won’t notice how adorably red he becomes. This reaction truly is only reserved for you. For anyone else it’s like “Hah! See? Told you!” But for you it’s more “Omg you think so?? Yeah, I’m real strong, I can protect you!”, as if he was still a boy with a little crush, and not actually your boyfriend.
Epel switches it up fairly quickly though, taking it as motivation to do even better.
GOT 2 PEOPLE INTERESTED ALREADY OMG OMG I'M SO HYPE, BUT ALSO SOOOO NERVOUS HELP
My art commissions are officially OPEN!
Visit my Ko-fi✨
My art commissions are officially OPEN!
Visit my Ko-fi✨
ME ME
Ahem I mean
I do
Nice art
Didn't make me tear up or anything
So who likes a Azul x Mc?
Your words mean a lot, fellow Azul appreciator🐙
Starting a bingo series! Feel free to assign Twisted wonderland characters to the prompts below.
#1 "Present" - Azul Ashengrotto
Check out the creator of this bingo card!
Starting a bingo series! Feel free to assign Twisted wonderland characters to the prompts below.
#1 "Present" - Azul Ashengrotto
Check out the creator of this bingo card!
I kinshifted too hard
My body dysmorphia came and hit me like an eel on a broom
Have been in cos for less than an hour, but I don't have the energy to try to like what I see
I like the picture on the left somewhat tho!! That's something
I’ve been watching quite a few different anime lately— l don’t know which one to obsess over
I meant to think "Make this a real emoji", but thought "Make this canon" instead
Ah yes, emoji lore
Twisted Wonderland Masterlists
Heartslabyul
Savanaclaw
Octavinelle
Scarabia
Pomefiore
Ignihyde
Diasomnia
Diasomnia Masterlist
Malleus Draconia
romantic
Fluff bingo: "Proposal" (gn)
platonic
none
.
Silver Vanrouge
romantic
none
platonic
none
.
Sebek Zigvolt
romantic
none
platonic
none
.
Lilia Vanrouge
romantic
none
platonic
none
Ignihyde Masterlist
Idia Shroud
romantic
none
platonic
none
.
Ortho Shroud
platonic
none