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Beauteaful - Femininity Blog - Tumblr Blog
How do you stay covert in the lifestyle? Or how would you recommend to do so (if you’re working full time/live in an affluent area where word gets around/might accidentally date your dad’s coworker/might run into your hs principal)? Thank u💝
so the way I see it, your only option here to avoid disrupting the peace of your personal life is to strictly date and look for potential SDs well outside your area and mitigate the chances of being outed. if word travels quickly it would only take one person to see you out to dinner with an older gentleman for rumors to start circulating, so there isn’t realistically a way for you to sugar in your area that isn’t high risk.
if you’re going to be sugar dating and don’t want people in your home town knowing, you’ll have to start looking well outside your area. you will be investing a little more money and a little more time if you go this route. there isn’t really a way around this, but the good news is that it’ll still pay off if you commit to the extra legwork.
if you haven’t already, get seeking premium to gain access to POTs in other areas. make sure you use different photos from your vanilla social media, and always go by an alias instead of your legal name. you should also get a google voice number if possible for when your conversations move off the app to text instead. remember that you don’t know these people — don’t give them access to any personal info they could look up to find you and link you to your location. this is for safety as well as remaining covert.
you could also invest the gas and time to go out and about in another area, mingling with upper class men the old fashioned way by going to the places they’d typically hang around — country clubs, upscale bars, casinos — do your research on which places are out of earshot from the people in your circle but also have plenty of potential. again, use an alias and google voice for when numbers are exchanged, even if you aren’t close to home.
if you can, confide in at least one person you trust. share your location with them, tell them where you’re going and who you’ll be with, when you’re leaving and what time they should expect you to be back. do anything and everything possible preemptively to protect yourself if you end up in a scary situation.
put your safety over everything else every single time, even if it means you can’t be as covert as you’d like. if you’re ever in trouble — tell someone. your life is worth more than some temporary judgment from people who don’t matter. take care of yourself.
good luck, sugar
xoxo
So crazy how you have the worst day of your life but then the next day the sun keeps shining and the air’s just a little cooler w the onset of fall and you realize that there’s nothing you can’t come back from because the only time it will ever be too late is when we’re dead and not ever before
Men will go through great lengths to find solutions for a woman he’s genuinely into.
How to Wake Up Early
I always wanted to be one of those girls who would wake up early, go for a run and be super productive with their mornings. The issue is - i really love sleep. Every time i would start a routine, i would eventually fail. I would wake up to turn the alarm off, think to myself “5 mins more” and boom- it’s suddenly 8:30 am and i need to leave for work in less than 1 hour.
Two videos on YouTube really changed my mind. One was Andrew Huberman’s, and the other was Jihyo, a k-pop star.
I came across Andrew Huberman’s video about dopamine, and somehow, it helped me to understand why the difficulty waking up early is so important. Now I’m no expert of neuroscience, but let me explain to the best of my abilities.
Dopamine is essentially the build up to the reward; it is not the reward. It is the satisfaction and happiness you feel (when your body releases), after you have achieved something that was painful/ required you to struggle a bit. In order to receive this reward, you have to feel pain, because pain and satisfaction are directly related to each other. Satisfaction without pain is useless and does nothing for you essentially.
That got me wondering: for me, waking up early is difficult. It’s painful. I dont want to do it. But if I do it, its my first win of the day. It’s the first challenge I have overcome of that day, and I always do feel amazing after. The dopamine release after the struggle of waking up and winning the battle of not going back to sleep is definitely there. I feel more confident because a) I have done the “right” thing b) selfishly, i can do something so simple that a lot of people struggle with c) it weirdly makes me feel more confident and like I’m doing the first step of being an adult right.
Jihyo’s video was quite random - she did some show where it shows her daily life when she’s not working. Parts of it made me feel like she’s unable to just relax with herself (probably because her body and mind are so used to chaos, performing, her girl group living together for so many years) so she busies herself a lot. I took the positives from the video; she’s extremely disciplined which I admired, she gets her chores done, she’s good at ensuring that her space is truly her space.
So I decided to build a relatively foolproof routine; but mind you, it does require quite a bit of willpower.
I’ve developed a habit of waking of waking up at 5 am. I head straight for a 30-45 minute meditation and then at least an hour long workout. I stack my habits that way; right after meditation, I put on my running shoes. I used to really struggle with waking up, even if I had to wake up late. This is the strategy that worked me, see if it works for you.
1. Reset your space the night before
This makes you feel less stressed in the morning and also genuinely makes you feel like you have your shit together. Put your clothes away, keep your bag in its place, clean up your desk, reorganise your make up and skin care products. You’re going to go to sleep and wake up to a clean space.
Make sure you define both your bedtime and wake up time. My bedtime is 9:30 pm - so i manage my chores, reading, dinner, everything around that.
2. Early dinner
I’ve noticed that early dinners help me sleep better. I’ve built the habit of casually walking for 25-30 minutes post dinner (not right after eating, after about 15 mins). I’m not walking fast to a point where I’m sweating and puffing, I’m casually strolling outside. During this time, I don’t listen to music, interact with anyone or my phone. I use this time to connect with myself and think about whatever I feel like.
3. No devices before sleeping
I don’t want to stimulate myself before sleeping, so I prefer reading before bed. If you don’t like reading, you can instead do your skincare, maybe revise some physical study notes, etc.
4. Using Alarmy app
This app is torture and I swear by it. This little thing makes you a solve a challenge of your choice in order to make the alarm stop, like math problems, puzzles, etc. I chose 5 math problems.
5. Keep your phone across the room
Don’t charge it near your reach. Keep it as away from you as possible.
6. Stand for two minutes after shutting off the alarm
Don’t allow yourself to snooze, or go back to bed. This is the part that really requires you to tell yourself: “i am not going back to sleep. I’m going to wake up and do the things I have to do for my own benefit.” Remember - the states of heaven and hell are not outside of you, they’re inside you. They are mental states. You have to fight with your lazy demon and tell him/her/whoever that NO; we are NOT going back to bed.
I charge my phone across the room so that forces me to walk first thing in the morning. To stop myself from going back to sleep, after i have shut the alarm off, i just stand for 2 minutes. I dont sit, or go back to bed. I stand and tell myself, we’re doing this. We’re going to wake up and have an amazing day.
Your mind is like a child with tantrums and mood swings. Your rational self has to discipline your mind the way a parent would to a child.
7. Turn a small light on
Not something that is jarring or overwhelming, but enough to help you start waking up. I turn my phone’s flashlight on and keep it on my desk.
8. Be consistent, even on weekends
The biggest mistake you can make is not being consistent. Your body doesnt recognise weekends, your mind does. Your body doesn’t know that tomorrow is Monday, so its time to wake up early. By staying consistent (yes, I wake up at 5 am on weekends too), it allows my body to develop its own body clock and not wrecking the system I’ve kept in place.
What do I do if I have a late night?
It really depends. Let’s say I come home relatively early (+2 hours around my bedtime) around 11 pm, and im in bed by 11:30. I’ll wake up somewhere close to 5 am, like 6 am instead. The next day I ensure I’m in bed by the bedtime I’ve kept for myself and wake up at 5 am again.
If I come home really late, like 3 am - i keep my alarm exactly 8 hours from that time. I need to get sleep, but oversleeping is an issue and that wont allow me to wake up early the next day. I want to get enough sleep where im rested for the day, but not excessively. Unfortunately, sleeping so late would definitely mean that i wont be able to fall asleep at my dot 9:30 pm bedtime, but i turn the lights off and get ready to sleep by then anyway, and mentally prepare for my 5 am wake up call.
Could you please make a post about workouts/workout videos that burn fat quickly?
the way to burn fat is to be in a calorie deficit. this just means that you need to burn more calories than you eat. cardio can help with that, but diet is the most important thing. that being said, here are some workouts that will help burn calories:
link: https://youtu.be/cAAB2yjlwhI?si=aGqOiFnVxlznkEpy
link: https://youtu.be/yVUcHEOr450?si=GdF9rc8Lihjo-5_a
link: https://youtu.be/rCsHEt_EZ0c?si=pLi4bdXBuXImiSD4
link: https://youtu.be/lzaPW8e5MnY?si=S6iJoJK9d7QtbgQx
(this is a great one to do daily, as it’s really fun and doesn’t involve any jumping! the time goes by fast i promise)
link: https://youtu.be/br274GUbS6s?si=q220gb-Zed7OsV9X
no, because some people in my grad school program are talking about how they’re not guaranteed a high income after getting their masters, like baby no. Speak that over your life, not mine. I will do whatever it takes to achieve my dream life. I know I can do it, and I will do it.Â
If it means spending extra hours studying, I will do it. If it means pushing myself pass my limit, I will do it. If it means staying in, I will do it. I have a lot of plans for myself and I am not going to stop now.
no, because some people in my grad school program are talking about how they’re not guaranteed a high income after getting their masters, like baby no. Speak that over your life, not mine. I will do whatever it takes to achieve my dream life. I know I can do it, and I will do it.Â
If it means spending extra hours studying, I will do it. If it means pushing myself pass my limit, I will do it. If it means staying in, I will do it. I have a lot of plans for myself and I am not going to stop now.
you know a lot of people who claim that they're too tired to better themselves, that their life is just too busy and when they get home they don't have the energy to do anything. but then you ask further about it and you find out these people spend hours and hours a day watching and reading whatever is trending on multiple social media apps; hours and hours every week watching whatever is the newest media that pops on their multiple streaming services; hours and hours every day trying to keep up with whatever piece of news the press says they have to know in depth; hours and hours answering texts from whatever person wants to reach them at any time of the day or night... sounds familiar?
energy is, in fact, a limited resource. we can renew it through healthy practices, but these practices also take up energy. if you're spending your energy in redundant, repetitive and irrelevant tasks just to avoid FOMO, you're always gonna feel depleted and tired. these behaviors I mentioned above, along with poor nutrition and poor fitness, are the big villains of our current times, the biggest energy vampires.
life is already stressful with the basics, like studying and working and surviving in these dire economical and environmental circumstances! it's our duty to ourselves to find ways to replenish our strength and renew our energy, and that starts with identifying and quitting behaviors that give way to energy leeches. if you do that, you'll suddenly find yourself with energy you thought was impossible to recover, and free time, and willpower to improve. I promise you that!
you know a lot of people who claim that they're too tired to better themselves, that their life is just too busy and when they get home they don't have the energy to do anything. but then you ask further about it and you find out these people spend hours and hours a day watching and reading whatever is trending on multiple social media apps; hours and hours every week watching whatever is the newest media that pops on their multiple streaming services; hours and hours every day trying to keep up with whatever piece of news the press says they have to know in depth; hours and hours answering texts from whatever person wants to reach them at any time of the day or night... sounds familiar?
energy is, in fact, a limited resource. we can renew it through healthy practices, but these practices also take up energy. if you're spending your energy in redundant, repetitive and irrelevant tasks just to avoid FOMO, you're always gonna feel depleted and tired. these behaviors I mentioned above, along with poor nutrition and poor fitness, are the big villains of our current times, the biggest energy vampires.
life is already stressful with the basics, like studying and working and surviving in these dire economical and environmental circumstances! it's our duty to ourselves to find ways to replenish our strength and renew our energy, and that starts with identifying and quitting behaviors that give way to energy leeches. if you do that, you'll suddenly find yourself with energy you thought was impossible to recover, and free time, and willpower to improve. I promise you that!
What do you say when you reach out to your mentors and all your latest connections once a month?
Literally copy pasting messages:
Latest connections:
If they’re my age / +5 to 8 years older I’m very casual with them.
“Hi hi just checking in! How’s life/ travel in ABC country/ latest work project going?”
“Hey! I’ll be in your city / near your workplace on this day. Free to grab a coffee?”
Mentor:
“Hi Mr XYZ! How are you doing? I was wondering if we could schedule a call as per your schedule this week?”
I have this one mentor who is SO slippery I literally have to chase him a 100 times to get a meeting. I realised that in reality, I’m a dead asset to him. He’s wasting his time talking to me. So what I do is, I make a list of questions I have (this is my finance mentor) and ask him to drop me a voice note if he has the time.
What do you say when you reach out to your mentors and all your latest connections once a month?
Literally copy pasting messages:
Latest connections:
If they’re my age / +5 to 8 years older I’m very casual with them.
“Hi hi just checking in! How’s life/ travel in ABC country/ latest work project going?”
“Hey! I’ll be in your city / near your workplace on this day. Free to grab a coffee?”
Mentor:
“Hi Mr XYZ! How are you doing? I was wondering if we could schedule a call as per your schedule this week?”
I have this one mentor who is SO slippery I literally have to chase him a 100 times to get a meeting. I realised that in reality, I’m a dead asset to him. He’s wasting his time talking to me. So what I do is, I make a list of questions I have (this is my finance mentor) and ask him to drop me a voice note if he has the time.
The best website out there. I’d highly recommend it if you want to educate yourself, read beautiful writing, learn more about perfume, or just have a good time.
The best website out there. I’d highly recommend it if you want to educate yourself, read beautiful writing, learn more about perfume, or just have a good time.
Previously I majored in computer science, earlier this year I got certifications for nutrition and teaching ballet barre and now when school starts this fall I’ll be studying business and fashion like wow I love being highly educated on everything that interests me 💕
Previously I majored in computer science, earlier this year I got certifications for nutrition and teaching ballet barre and now when school starts this fall I’ll be studying business and fashion like wow I love being highly educated on everything that interests me 💕
How to build relationships with proffessors? What did you do to make your teachers like as a person, but also respect you as a young intellectual? How to stand out in class?
Honestly, just get as much face time with them as possible. I wasn’t necessarily the brightest nor the most talkative student, but I always made a point to attend office hours to not only go over the material, but to also build rapport with professors. A simple “What made you want to teach in the field?” makes for the perfect start to a solid relationship. I will say getting close to professors was made very easy at my school because we lived right on campus with many of them. It wasn’t abnormal to babysit for them, go to their homes for meals, and even stay with them during breaks if you couldn’t make it home.
In terms of standing out in class, it’s all a matter of showing you’re putting the time in. Actually do the homework and reading (or learn how to use Sparknoted like a pro), ask questions, raise your hand often, and like I mentioned, attend office hours every chance you can get.
Girl, at this point its embarrassing, get out of your way. Just, slide right off your own path, right? The self sabotage is getting embarrassing.
It has to be at least embarrassing to you having the same goals for five years. Cmon. How can you not be tired of your own crap? How long have you been on this self improvement journey? How much have you actually improved? How many times have you promised yourself this time you will? Isn't it embarrassing how many 'fresh start' s you've had? How can you look at yourself in the mirror though? It's gotta be embarrassing by now. It has to be at that point you can't stand yourself- are you really that shameless? No sense of responsibility? Damn okay we can use mine- I'm so embarrassed of and for you. Lowkey if someone asked me if I know you I'd deny you so fast it would give Judas a whiplash, I kid you not.
Doesnt it hurt you to have that much potential and not use it? It doesn't make you feel sick,knowing how much you're capable of an not doing it? You're really just out here trading your life for ten seconds videos and weird food and fake lives and celeb drama and pretty boys? Really. You're letting people live their dreams by stealing your life through a screen. Come on it has to be embarrassing at some point. It has to be. The girls you went to high school with if they saw you today lol. Your ex thinking he'll yeah man I dodged a bullet. You're telling me you don't feel guilty eating and sleeping knowing you didn't earn it? Another day giving 7 hours to kpop boys and girls and Kylie Jenner and movies and whatever , 7 hours when you could've just idk. Learned a new skill. 7 hours, sis. Are you not disgusted by yourself? Just casually scrolling eating looking like a hobo on steroids garbage in garbage out just another day another slay as a social justice warrior on Facebook saving the world through the power of your words while your world sinks.
I am. I am disgusted by you. It's embarrassing to me that we share Anatomy and gender and exist in the same time space reality. I'm sending this overwhelming embarrassment your way may it trigger your senses back. What are you doing, sis? No really, wyd? What is this behavior? What is this?
Please, get the fuck out of your own way.
BMAC