Recently My Aunt Passed. She Was The First In My Life To Celebrate Owning Her Beauty And Making Sure

Recently my aunt passed. She was the first in my life to celebrate owning her beauty and making sure she always looked good. Trying to honor her by doing the same. I want to start with my wardrobe! Any tips on recreating a more sophisticated and timeless look?

Building a wardrobe that embodies a sophisticated and timeless look actually doesn’t require a whole lot of pieces if you don’t want it to. Nor does it require a lot of effort when it comes to what pieces to get. It’s a closet full of items that will never go out of style and I’ll always recommend it over being trendy, because being trendy can get unnecessarily expensive.

1. The LBD

Whether or not you’re going for a sophisticated look, every woman should have that one LBD that gets the job done every time. Having more than one is always encouraged but as someone who has more than one, there’s always a favorite. Have one for a night out and a casual one for a trip to the grocery store.

2. Button Downs

Button downs, especially white ones, instantly polish a look. They can be dressed up or down (the beauty of them tbh), but any outfit with a button down will never fail. You can make them glamorous or sexy or professional or casual. They’re classic and won’t ever go out of style.

3. Fitted Skirts

Pretty much any kind of skirt can go with anything, but a fitted skirt (especially high waisted) smooths out the silhouette for a more sleek look. It accentuates the body in a way that isn’t over the top and still remains classy.

4. Silk Skirts

Silk skirts can add something extra to a classic fit. They can also dress up a casual shirt. Like fitted skirts, they also give a sleek and polished look that isn’t as clean cut, but just as timeless and versatile.

5. Suits

If you’re a professional girlie, don’t shy away from pantsuits. They’ll never diminish your femininity and can be just as elegant as any old dress or skirt. The chances of these going out of style are 0 and women in the 90s certainly knew how to wear them in a way that increased their elegance as a woman instead of clashing with it.

6. Slacks

Slacks can be dressed up or down, and also like button downs, they can bring any look together. High waisted ones really accentuate the waist and can give off a seductive look that isn’t too vulgar or incredibly revealing. Just teasing enough while still looking professional.

7. Statement Jewelry

As I mentioned before, having a closet full of trendy pieces can get expensive and excessive. Trends change. They come and go. Not only is it incredibly wasteful if you’re one of those people who gets rid of clothes just as quickly as you buy them, but if you aren’t, you end up with a wardrobe full of things you no longer like nor wear.

Jewelry is no different. Getting elegant staple pieces is something I’ll always encourage. Over the years, I’ve grown out of that phase of buying cute costume jewelry from every store I go to and instead choose to save and purchase something that not only do I wear every day with everything, but that will also last for years. Choose quality over quantity.

For a timeless look, you want balance. Diamond studs with a matching bracelet. Or a staple necklace with a staple ring. That one watch you wear everyday. A string of pearls probably with earrings to match. A simple diamond anklet. You don’t want pieces that are evident clues as to what was trendy and popping when you bought it. You want things that you can whip out 15 years from now that’ll still light up a room. Jewelry can make or break an outfit!

8. ‘Fuck Me’ Heels

At least one nice pair of heels is needed. Whether it’s some classic pointed toed pumps or the more fun looking and versatile strappy heels. You need heels that will sex up an otherwise casual look or top off a more professional one with a flirty flair. They go with anything. They’re reliable. They make you look great and they’ll be here for years to come.

9. A Classic Coat

At least one nice coat needs to be in your closet. Even if you don’t live in a cold environment, you don’t want to be that person going on a trip to New York in December and you’re scrambling to find a decent coat to keep you warm. I’m a sucker for a trench coat because it never fails but pea coats have my heart. There’s something very preppy and timeless about them. They’ve been around for years and aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. Even if (God forbid) your outfit is horrid, just button that sucker up and now you look as put together as the rest.

10. Lingerie

Underneath that classy skirt and teasing white button down are some lace boy shorts and a bra that makes the girls look great. It’s times like these that I miss what Victoria’s Secret used to be. Oh well. I’m a huge lover of lingerie and wearing it makes me feel incredibly sexy. Even if no one else sees it, I know what I look like with it on, and you’d be surprised at what it can do for your confidence. How it can lift your spirits and put a certain sway in your walk that other people notice. When I’m wearing a cute bra and underwear, I feel like it sets the foundation for the rest of my outfit. I feel like those women in the opening montage of The Devil Wears Prada, a woman who has her life together all the way down to her lace thong.

“6+3 = 9 but so does 5+4. The way you do things isn’t always the only way to do them. Respect other people’s way of thinking.” - Unknown 

For younger women interested in hypergamy:

Hypergamy (noun): the action of marrying a person of a superior caste or class.

Hypergamy, in it’s simplest form, is marrying “up” in term of socioeconomic class.

The easiest way to do this — to climb the social ladder to put yourself in position to marry up — is to go to a 4-year college. This would be an Ivy League institution, a liberal arts college in the northeast (where most legacy students come from old money), or a large research institution. For ladies outside of the US, this would be the top-rank school in your countries.

If you’re past college age or aren’t planning to go to school, you can still take the advice below! There are plenty of successful, hypergamous women who did not go to school.

However, this advice is coming from my perspective.

I am a Black American woman, born and raised by a single mother. I lived in poverty most of my life, but — I went to great schools and this opened up my world. In school, I gained the cultural and social capital that has put me on the path I am on today. I have a looong way to go still, but I am happy and what I would consider financially successful (considering my age).

Here are some ways you can start your hypergamous journey. You can do all of these things, even with limited financial resources. These tips come from a mix of what I did and what I wish I had done.

Network, network, network — Make friends! Build authentic connections early on. Always be polite and never be shy. If you’re in a room, you belong there. I don’t recommend befriending people solely because they are afluent, but it doesn’t hurt to have these friendships. If nothing else, you will learn from their mannerisms and attitudes. Also, network with your professors and alumni. You never know who can make an introduction for you to land the perfect internship, job opportunity, or other relationship.

Take pride in your apearance — This is a great time to begin caring for your appearance, if you haven’t already. Most young women have fast metabolisms and don’t have to “watch” what they eat. Definitely have fun and live life, but being younger (under 25) is a great time to start building life-long healthy habits. Excercise. Take a course or read a book on nutrition. Your metabolism will eventually slow down and life will get busier; lay the groundwork now. Learn about hair, makeup, and fashion. Wear what suits you. Trends are fun; don’t be afraid to dabble in them if you wish, but know that few trends ever become classics. If you want a polished look, find classic, timeless beauties who look like you and borrow from them. How do they style their hair? Do their make up? What clothes flatter them? Take what you like and adapt it for your style. You don’t have to dress like you’re 55 at 22. You can look beautiful and classy at any age. Pay attention to detail. I recommend always having your nails painted and your hair done, at a minimum. This could be a nude polish and a sleek bun. Even on the causal days, look put together. High value men do notice the details.

Join a Greek life organization — This varies by school and by organization, but overall, Greek life is a great move if you want to date up. Most people in these organizations are legacy students — their parents, grandparents, and even great grandparents were members of these organizations, too. Typically, members will look out for each other on the job market. Sometimes just seeing your letters on your resume is enough to get the interview, and sometimes the job. You’ll rub shoulders with a higher class of people just by joining, especially if you don’t come from that world. Some people view this as paying for friends. I view it as an investment for your future. College is usually just 4 short years. After that, you have the rest of your life to live. Being a member of a Greek organization can benefit you for the rest of your life.

Continue to learn — Hypergamous women are smart women. Most high caliber men enjoy the company of a smart woman — not a smart ass. Read that again. I would recommend: reading the newspaper (politics and business sections, especially), other leisure reading, and learning a new language. You do not need to be in school to learn. Never stop learning. Have a passion for life and growth. Push yourself to get better each year. Try new hobbies and don’t be afraid to suck at something.

Hobbies of the elite — Now, this may be more difficult due to limited financial resources, but this could be where your network comes in to save you (so don’t forget to network). A few hobbies that the elite enjoy are: travel, skiing, sailing, golf, and fine dining. If you already gravitate towards one of these, pick up that hobby. Or maybe you want to learn more about one. This short list is not inclusive and there are other hobbies that could be becoming of a young hypergamous woman (like painting). Never do something you dislike to impress others, but also never be afraid to try something new. You can travel on a budget and have amazing experiences. Travel makes you more interesting; you’ll have more stories to share and it’ll show how cultured you are. Skiing, sailing, and golf are all sports. Typically, you do these activities with others. Fine dining I put on the list because for some, it is a hobby. It’s more about the dining experience than it is about the food (though the food is always amazing). Take an etiquette class and learn how to properly dine at upscale establishments. Do you know which side your drink goes on and which side your bread dish goes on? How do you pass the salt to someone on on the other side of the table? When wine is ordered, who tastes it first? When can you start eating your food if you’re in a party of 5 people? If you don’t know the answers to these questions, you need to learn more about dining etiquette. There’s also the complexities of American and European dining (and yes they are different). I took a free elective course on this in college. There’s also Youtubers who can help you learn and free articles online.

I hope this helps! Take what you need and leave the rest. ❣️

A little tip for makeup

Ok hear me out, YouTube makeup is not for everyday and most of it doesn't look good in real life

As well as the fact that most beauty influencers use too much of the product which will lead you to use a lot as well which will make you buy more products in the long run

In my spare time I love to watch makeup artists doing makeup for runway models, you'll probably notice they never go full on Vincent van Gogh and paint all over the faces of their models.

They use small brushes and cover what's necessary with foundation and concealer. There is use of powders to finish the look and make it look uniform and soft.

My sister and I have a little joke we always say

" Never trust an influencer with a discount code "

Because at times they will use different products or too much of a product and lie to your face as to them they are worrying about how many of you use their code so they earn their keep.

In general, YouTube makeup is a big industry which depends on your desire to consume "the next big thing" and basically to sum up my point, they don't have your best interest in mind.

So now, where do we move on from that.

It's better to save up and buy good quality makeup brushes as those along with a good technique can make a drug store product look amazing on you.

As a person who has been doing art since they were a kid I can definitely say that 'the type of brush you use matters' is a phrase that is not limited to the painting world.

Sit with yourself and look at your face and go from there, find your own blush area, find your own look !

My makeup routine

On a normal day I moisturise my skin and apply a pressed powder. If I want to conceal any spots I use very small amounts of the Juvias Place stick foundation and concealer and go in with a contour stick lightly around my face.

I use a brown lip liner and go with a nude pink lipstick and blend it in on my lips till it looks almost natural.

I use a dip brow pomade to fill in my non existent eyebrows (😔) and I comb them with a clear mascara but remember I don't change my eyebrow shape or go overboard with it because the goal is natural but slightly enhanced.

The only thing unnatural about my makeup is my eyeliner, I have big upturned eyes so I tightline my eyes with a black pencil eyeliner and make a wing with liquid eyeliner and to finish the look I put on some black mascara to my lashes and use a blush stick around my eye-cheek area.

In all these I use small soft brushes I have collected from around the world

When I'm done I almost literally baptise myself in setting spray 😂.

That's it!

Keep in mind my makeup routine is for me, I'm pretty small in frame with a big head and big eyes so I go with the natural doll look, I'll link a video for makeup for the kibbe body types

I'm still figuring out the world of fake lashes but I'm yet to find success with my eye shape 😂

Here are some videos are like

💗

Ala Presents: Niche Hobbies to Incorporate Into Your Level-Up Journey

But first - why?

I have always been a firm believer that keeping yourself busy, through learning something new, is the most productive use of your time. Think about it; you spend your time learning a new skill or hobby that could be used as a talking point, a way to open up more opportunities for you, a way to keep you active and allow you to meet like-minded people. Sounds like a win-win deal to me. Therefore, I highly suggest that you incorporate a new hobby into your level up journey.

Okay, onto the Hobbies:

Work towards a sommelier license/diploma. This is very niche - only 264 people have passed the Master Sommelier exams since its creation over 50 years ago. If you have keen senses and a love for wine then go for it.

Start taking golfing lessons.

Learn how to design and make jewellery.

Earn a beautician’s license: learn how to apply acrylic nails, do lash extensions, thread eyebrows apply spray tan etc - you’ll be surprised how many women would love a friend who can help beautify them and it could be a viable side business.

Learn how to mix cocktails and bartend.

Learn to play the harp (or if you want to be really niche try the Korean gayageum).

Take up horse-riding lessons.

Learn how to ski (or snowboard).

Pick up chess or the many different variations from around the world (I learned how to play Mahjong - great talking point).

Learn how to play poker/black jack.

Learn how to tailor clothing.

Learn how to restore vintage handbags. Now this one really interests me - I can spend hours watching it on YouTube. 

Learn an ancient or niche language i.e Latin, Xhosa, Hebrew.

Learn perfumery: the process of making perfume scents and pairing of scents.

Learn how to garden.

Learn how to cook food from another culture (my mother and I learned how to cook a myriad of Filipino and Pakistani dishes a few years ago).

Learn ballroom dancing or ballet (side note: congratulations to Oti on winning Strictly two years in a row!).

Bird-watch and learn how to handle birds.

(hey black girls) Learn how to do hair and make wigs.

Take yachting/sailing lessons.

I could go on forever but this just shows the range and unlimited amount of hobbies to choose from - some cost nothing others can be quite expensive. I like to push the “invest in yourself” message but make sure you are living within your means.

- ala 👸🏿

what r some things you suggest keeping in your purse? especially as a girly girl !!

Purse Essentials For A Girly Girl:

Chapstick

Scented lotion

Lip gloss

Lip stick

Small perfume (even better if it matches your lotion - scent will last longer)

Hand sanitizer

Hand wipes

Mask

Wallet

Small deodorant

Compact mirror

Small notepad

Pens

Mini makeup bag (with your daily makeup essentials for when freshening up)

Oil blotting sheets

Rose water

Phone charger

A small pack with pads/tampons and pantyliners in it

Sunglasses

$20 bill (always have cash on you for emergencies)

Mint gum

Mints

Mint breath sheets (LOVE THESE)

Small hair brush

Sun screen