beetlethebug

Welcome Back to Me Screaming

Hi! I'm Beetle! They/them This is my main blog where I just post whatever I'm into at the moment! I also do art sometimes!

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Alright Besties Time For Childhood Friends Fig And Gorgug.(this One Is Kinda Long So Read Under The Cut)

alright besties time for childhood friends fig and gorgug.(this one is kinda long so read under the cut) (i forgot you could do that for the other ones wh o o p s)

they met later than some of the other pairs. fig is freshly fourteen, three months into protruding horns and hands that no longer burn when she places them on still-hot stove tops or sticks her finger into the wax melts gilear had bought before things between him and her mom went south. she’s angry, and bitter, and so young, and sandra lynn is at her wits end. she’s trying, gods is she trying, because she sees every warning sign in fig that she neglected to see in herself. so, sandra lynn sends fig to an anger management camp and hopes for the best.

gorgug is fourteen and change, kicked out of three elementary schools and one middle school for the crime of being himself. taller than all his peers, his parents, too big for every space he’s ever been in. not a single friend to his name. a heart that was too big locked in his chest because no matter how hard he tried, it got shattered in the process. his parents told him that sometimes things break, and that when you fix it, it’s all the stronger for it. but how many times can a heart break before it’s unfixable? and now he’s having feelings he can’t explain--anger and something darker, more primal. something his gnomish parents cry about when they think he can’t hear. but it’s a small tree. and gorgug just wants to be good, wants to make these feelings go away, so when his parents talk about an anger management camp, he agrees without even considering what it means. he isn’t angry--he doesn’t think so, anyway.

so gorgug sits in a camp full of all sorts of people. he’s in the boy’s section, led by a man who looks like he was made from the earth itself. Porter, he thinks is the name. he isn’t sure. there aren’t any other half-orcs, there. and most of the kids look older than he is. so he tries to be smaller, arms wrapped around his middle to protect everything vulnerable inside. because people are talking about wanting to hit things until they break. violent and anger and frustration that he doesn’t understand. yeah, sometimes his insides feel like they’re boiling, but that’s not--he’s not angry at anything. his body is just. he’s just.

and then there’s someone next to him. a body warmer than his hoodie, pressed against him. “Shh,” they--she whispers. “The girl’s camp sucked. i wanna see what this is about. don’t tell.”

gorgug nods, mumbles a promise, and he spends the whole time not listening to porter, but making sure the shape behind his back is hidden from view. when the meeting ends, he turns to the sound, “Miss Faethe, there you are.” “It’s Fig!” The girl at his back hisses. She’s pretty, he thinks. Horns just starting to come through reminding him of his tusks, painful and small and intrusive. her hair is clearly done by her own unsteady hand. she looks angry in a way he understands. messy, artistic. he stands up beside her (too tall, too lanky, especially when he straightens his shoulders to take up the space just a bit more). “I asked Fig to come see me.” The lie comes out awkwardly, but it’s the first thing he’s said barring his name. The girls instructor looks at him, narrows her eyes. she’s elvish, he thinks, and he can see why Fig might have been upset about learning about anger from her.

“Yeah. Porter knows way more about rage than you do, bitch.”

fig and gorgug being opposites of the same whole. fig is sharp, cutting; gorgug is soft, mending. they compliment each other perfectly. fig encourages gorgug to stand tall, to take these feelings he doesn’t understand and create with them. gorgug balances fig, gives her something to lean on when her whole life seems to be falling apart. doing each others nails and eyeliner before anger management meetings. fig dying gorgug’s hair for the first time. gorgug gives her a new hoodie every week.

fig asks him to start a band with her, because they’re both full of feelings that other people can relate to. she wants to create, wants to rebel, and all the greats did so through art, through music. she presses drumsticks into his hands and the first time he lets himself go wild, he understands what she means. he’s drunk on it, the feeling that comes from not caring, just feeling. hitting and hitting and never breaking, because that’s not what he wants to do with his feelings.

fig finding out they’re going to the same high school and loosing her shit. fig making him hold her hand whenever he’s nervous. gorgug getting his first earned detention for punching a dude in the face for trying to take photos of underneath fig’s skirt. texts every hour when fig goes out to parties and gorgug stays home. midnight drives to taco bell and laughing until their ribs ache in the back of the thistlespring van. sleepovers. so many sleepovers. affirmations and imposter syndrome and validating each other and their experiences. “we’re real people. we’re allowed to feel. i am successful and my successes are because of my own merit.” fig engaging in drugs and alcohol safely under the roof of the thistlespring tree, because gorgug isn’t curious but knows that his parents won’t mind as long as they’re being safe. fig finding ways to rebel that don’t endanger herself or others.

just gorgug and fig finding their other half and learning to grow and create and having healthy relationships with their feelings.