Shout Out To All The Kids Who Aren't Good At What They're Passionate About, And Who Aren't Passionate

Shout out to all the kids who aren't good at what they're passionate about, and who aren't passionate about what they're good at.

Monochromatic Reality

I take the anti depressants to make the people who want me to get 'better' think I'm happy. Even though all the pills really do is make me feel numb. At least before I felt depression, it was something. So now I take huge risks, do dangerous things, and hurt myself in anyway possible because any feeling of fear or pain or absolute dread that you can feel deep inside the pit of your stomach is better than this numbness. Some people would call me a masochist, but they wouldn't if they could feel numb like I do, then they too would do anything no matter how dangerous or painful it is just to see a glimpse of color in their monochromatic reality.

I thought people who say they wanted me to be happy meant it, that they might've even loved me, but that wasn't enough. They needed to understand-I needed them to understand. But time and time again I am made to feel alone, like I'm drifting through space and time watching their lives go on around me like I did cut the vein that night like I was planning to but I thought 'no there are people who wouldn't be able to go on without me'. So here I am, alive for people who I thought couldn't go on without me already living like I am gone, no, like I was never even here at all. I can't blame them, I'm just another shade of gray blending into the background of a monochromatic reality.

Don’t lay flowers on my grave when I die , because you don't really care. If you cared you, would've given me flowers when I was alive.

I realized today that I have stopped living life. I am literally just trying to get to the next day, just living in the thought of tomorrow. I'm not living, I'm waiting, and the trouble is I don't know what exactly I'm waiting for. I'm actually kind of scared for what it might be. ~evfh

How can you say you know me when you've only seen my skin and not the untamed world I hide, the one that's growing deep within. You haven't heard my ribs all creak, behind each plaited vine. Or swum beneath the waterfall that cascades from my eyes, you've not been here long enough to watch a new life start, or find the rundown castle, lying just inside my heart. You haven't climbed the branches that are wrapped around each lung, swaying with the breeze, that comes dancing past my tongue. Don't mark me with your footprints if you plan to leave soon, and only get to know me when my plants are in bloom. Because the birdsong might be pretty but it's not for you they sing, and if you think my winter is cold then you don't deserve my spring.~e.h.

It's so strange that Autumn is so beautiful yet everything is dying.