Aunt May: Where Is Peter?

Aunt may: where is Peter?

Tony: i’ve got a jar of dirt.

As a prank, Peter hacks into everyone’s phone and switches their ringtones to “The Itsy Bitsy Spider.” The Tower’s residents are not happy.

Bucky and Sam, spraying Peter with a hose: Down came the rain and washed the spider out. :)

Peter: MURDER. THIS IS MURDER.

Tony, turning away: If I don’t see it, it didn’t happen.

Peter: BETRAYAL. THIS IS BETRAYAL.

pursue

Wings in real life:

The wings vary in size from elbow-span to full arm span and bigger and sprout from the shoulder blades

They also vary in colour and pattern

There’re stereotypes for wing type

Just generic stuff like bigger wings = bigger genitals

But also stuff like “people with crow wings are untrustworthy”

Wing type and size can run in the family

“Yea, I got my dad’s colouring but my mum’s pattern”

People find different wing types attractive

“Damn! Look at the wings on that guy!”

So there are bad pick up lines

“I’d ask you if it hurt when you fell from heaven, but with those wings, I doubt you could!”

New wing-related body language

People put their wings around their loved ones protectively or romantically

Wings expand to their full width when their owners are threatened

Flared wings = intimidation

People hide behind their wings

Wings change as people age

So there are youngin’s who are insecure that their wings look different than their peers

And this leads to the sexualisation of over/underdeveloped wings

Because wings won’t make humanity suck less

Wing growing pains

Sex-ed includes a part about wing growth and care

People missing one or more wings

Mostly in accidents or birth defects but removing someone’s wings can be a sign of dishonour

So there are prosthetics

There are some that match wings nearly perfectly and others that are bright and colourful to show pride in the missing parts

And other wing related disabilities

Some people can’t close up their wings to their back so they need aids to keep them from stretching too far out while indoors

Stimming by wing flapping

Rapid wing flapping is such an autistic stereotype that people do it to mock others and its listed as one of the “telltale” signs of autism

It’s not actually anymore common than any other stim, people just care more about it cause it causes the most property damage

Wings spasm and restless wing syndrome

The kid who sits in front of you in math has a wing spasm and hits you in the face

Imagine your OTP

Cultures where people cover their wings for the sake of modesty

Wing accessories 

Like, can you not see a kid putting a good couple dozen tiny plastic clips and ribbons in their wings

Or flowing wing scarves 

Wing fashion models

Dying of wings different colours

People change the colour of theirs to another natural colour like a darker or lighter shade of brown

But also people dying their wings 14 shades of purple

And there are different patterns that can be dyed into them

Hairstylists but for wings

Wing cosmetic surgery to change their shape

Getting gray feathers in wings with age

Male pattern loss of feathers

Buff dudes and gals with absolutely ripped wings

Gendered wings

Certain wing shape being considered masculine and some feminine

TERFs doing the whole “How to tell if X is trans by wing shape/size/colour”

Of course, this is all bs

Especially since different races have different wing types 

Its all just racist, sexist, transphobic bs

It is very rude to touch someone’s wings without their permission

Depending on the context and place touched, its even assault 

Getting to touch the underside of your partner’s wings with your hands is the equivalent of ‘secound-base’ or something

And close friends hug each other and cuddle into the inside of each other’s wings

“Jessie gives the best hugs. Their wings are just so soft”

“Please keep your arms, legs, and wings inside the ride at all times”

Man-spreading but with wings

Just people with wings in general

Can you tell I think about this too often

hiii 🥰, i saw you wrote for BBC Sherlock and was wondering what you head cannon he’d do with a girlfriend who has a stutter? please and thank you :)

Okay, this is my first ever headcanon, so I hope you like it :) If not. I'm sorry. I did my best with the stutter, I've never had one so I don't rlly understand the struggles of living with one, 

Anyways, enjoy!!!

You’ve had a stutter ever since you were a kid.

So by the time you’d met Sherlock, you were already used to the mean comments.

The way people would look at you when you tripped over your words and took too long to say a sentence.

A lot of the time, they didn’t mean too

But it still hurt. 

Anyways,

You had a lot heard about Sherlock

How he was kind of a massive dick

So you had tried to prepare yourself before meeting him

Surprisingly, though

He wasn’t half as bad as you thought he’d be. 

You had gone to him with a case.

And somehow, 

You ended up his girlfriend.

Dating Sherlock was hard. 

He’s not the best with emotions

So if your upset, you’d have to tell him outright.

But he does try.

Sometimes he fucks up and makes you upset

To which he’ll receive a lot of anger from both John and Mrs Hudson

He’s incredibly protective of you.

So if your out on a case with him and someone

Anderson

Makes a comment about your stutter

Woah, 

Angry boy. 

He will literally destroy the man’s self-esteem. 

More than he already has lmao

Sometimes, on days were comments effect you just a Lil bit more than usual

And someone makes a mean joke about you

Punches will be thrown. 

Although, most of the time he’s already angry and just needs to blow off steam

So you don’t try to stop him

They kinda deserve it anyways 

He’s surprisingly patient with you

Sometimes, when you stutter on certain words

You’ll get incredibly frustrated

And Sherlock would try to help to the best of his ability

Mainly he just guesses the word your struggling with

 it doesn’t make you feel too good, but you appreciate that he tries

You are incredibly independent

You make your own phone calls and order your own food

It’s annoying dealing with impatient people

But you handle it like a champ

But sometimes your stutter gets too bad

So Sherlock steps in

If you need to make a doctors appointment?

Sherlock’s got you

Sat in the McDonalds drive-through but you can’t seem to get your order out?

Sherlock saves the day.

And your incredibly appreciative And a Lil bit embarrassed. 

All In All, 

He’s a good boyfriend

And he tries his hardest to help you

Even if he sucks at it sometimes.

Tony loves to harass Peter with terrible dad jokes and Peter loves to pretend to hate them.

Tony: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

Peter, rolling his eyes: What?

Tony, gleeful: A gummy bear!

Peter: Thanks! I hate it.