This Deadass Made Me Sob, I'm Not Even Kidding

This deadass made me sob, I'm not even kidding 😭😭

Vanilla

Genre : ANGST!!!!! with a happy ending

Pairing : Bang Chan x reader

Warnings : A lot of SADNESS, obviously. Breakup and everything that goes with it.

Had a really stressful week and was in the mood for some angst, i hope you enjoy reading and please let me know if you do :)) it will be much appreciated<3

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It was nearing 3 am, when Chan finally came home to you. He was tired, his shoulders hunched over as if he was carrying the world's weight on them. And in a way he was, he had too many responsibilities it sometimes felt like he drowned in them. But you were his anchor, keeping him afloat.

He opened the door, sighing when his feet hit the soft rug you had in the living room. It was dark in your apartment, save for the moon that bathed it in a soft, silvery glow.

It takes some time for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but when they do, he is surprised to see you fast asleep on the couch, curled around yourself in a ball.

He frowns, a dull ache settling in his heart. This is a sight he had seen way too much these past few months. He hadn't been home nearly as much as he wanted, the only times he ever saw you were at night, sleeping.

When was the last time you had a proper date? He thought to himself. He couldn't remember.

He quietly kneels in front of you, his hands hovering over the soft curve of your body. He couldn't bring himself to touch you, he felt like he was breaching an unknown territory. He who had once memorized every nook and cranny of your body.

He closes his eyes, leaning his forehead onto the couch. A foreign scent hits his nostrils, coconut. Since when did you change your vanilla perfume?

Had it really been that long?

Hot tears start pouring out of his eyes. He wanted to do so much more for you, be there for you all the time. You deserved more than what he could give you. And he knew you'd never complain, he knew you'd settle for less just because you love him.

He couldn't allow any of this to go on any further, he wanted you to be happier, even if it meant letting you go.

His muffled cries wake you up, and you look at him confused as to what is going on. When you grasp that he's crying, you quickly sit up, your worried eyes racking through his face.

"Chan, baby? What's wrong?", you ask, your voice sweet like honey. He knew he'd miss your voice the most.

"Just let me hold you". He was kneeling before you, his head buried in your lap. He just wanted to enjoy those last moments with you. The calm before the storm.

Your hand instinctively finds his hair, playing with it just like you know he likes it.

No, he'd miss your touch the most.

He finally looks up at you, his teary eyes staring at you with such intensity it made your heart beat faster. He has never looked at you this way; like it'd be the last time he'd get to do it.

No, he'd miss you the most.

"We need to...", he starts off, the words stuck in his throat. He couldn't bring himself to say them, but he had to. "We need to break up".

"Pardon?", you say, a chill running down your spine. "You are messing with me, right?", you smile nervously, your fear growing with each silent beat, "Right?".

"No. We need to... We have to break up", he repeats, his eyes looking anywhere but your face. You grab his head with your hands, forcefully making him stare at you. "Chan, look at me. You mean it?", you ask, your voice sounding so small to your ears.

"Yes. Yes, this is not working anymore", he answers, this time with a little more conviction. He needed to make this quick, he didn't want to hurt you anymore.

"Why? Did I do something? Are you mad at me?". Tears were now falling freely from your eyes, you were confused and hurt. You wanted him to hold you and go back to sleep.

"No, you didn't do anything. But this can't go on anymore. Don't make this any harder for the both of us".

"I shouldn't make this harder for the both of us?", you repeat incredulously. "YOU are the one breaking up with me in the middle of the night. And for no apparent reason", you point out, your chest heaving, from fear, anger and pain.

"I'm leaving", he stands up, wiping the tears from his face. You stand up too, stopping him in his tracks with a hand on his wrist. "If you leave now...", you pause, your voice shaking, "If you leave now with no explanation, you can't come back Chan. I won't open the door for you".

"Goodbye yn", he whispers, not looking back as he leaves your apartment.

The sound of the door slamming after him lingers in the air long after he's gone. You imagine it's the same sound your heart made when Chan broke it in two.

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An agonizingly long week has passed by since Chan broke up with you. This means it's seven nights he could have come home to you, seven sunsets you could have seen together, seven morning kisses you could have shared, seven meals you would have made him.

Seven days where the world went on as if nothing changed.

You think back to the night he left, how you cried yourself to sleep on the couch of your living room. How you woke up, expecting to see him; three seconds of bliss.

But then, you remembered.

A sob racked through your body instantly. Memories flood your brain, choking you as they come and go. They were like waves of hurt swarming you, drowning you in a feeling of sorrow too strong for your heart to bear.

It takes you a while to find the courage to go to your bedroom. The one you've shared with him for the past eleven months. You pause right next to the door, it felt wrong to head in there knowing Chan won't join you in the bed anymore. It felt wrong to taint a happy room with the ugly truth.

But you finally open the door, tentatively, as if you were expecting to find him sitting in there. The sun is streaming through your curtains- the ones you bought together. Your eyes rack through the entire room, the sight of Chan's belongings so untouched stabbing your heart once again.

His black beanie, the one he wore the last time you saw him, was tossed lazily on the bed. His earrings are placed on the cabinet right next to the door. A half-empty glass of water was on his bedside. A drawer was left slightly open, his chair was pushed a bit too far.

Did he know? When he woke up that day that he wouldn't return? And if he had known, would he have tidied up? Or would he have left the room as it is? A token that he was here, he was here and he was yours and then he wasn't.

You fall on top of the bed and snuggle into your comforter, inhaling his scent that drove you crazy. Is this what is left of him now? His perfume on your sheets and pillow? His clothes on the racks of your closet? His blue toothbrush sat next to yours in the bathroom?

Or is it his kisses on your skin that scorched you in the most beautiful way? His words imprinted in your brain like the most sacred book? His whispers, his promises, his touch? Is all that's left of Chan the way he loved you?

The memories start dancing in front of your eyes, mocking you, taunting you, telling you that Chan was within your reach but that he no longer is. Making you believe that if you closed your eyes long enough, and stretched your fingers far enough, you could reach them, you could force them to become a reality all over again.

You remember the nights you had spent in his studio, you sat on his lap while he worked on a new sound. You remember his smile when he showed you a new track he liked. And then the smiles only meant for you. You've learned to memorize them. His 'good morning' smile, his 'I missed you' smile, his 'I want to ravish you' smile.

You remember your first kiss, and his confession right before "I'm falling for you". The way you sealed your faith when you kissed him. The way he kissed you, so soft, so gentle, but then so needy, so wild, and yet still as enamored.

You remember him supporting your dreams and ambitions, encouraging you whenever you didn't feel like going on. You remember him hugging you, engulfing you in a warmth that you've never known before.

You remember your pinky promises, your strolls on the beach, your 3 am conversations, your late-night drives, when you cooked for him and when he cooked for you.

You remember it all too well.

Staying in the bedroom was too overwhelming, you decide to take a shower to distract yourself a bit. But you didn't have the energy to move your limbs, so you just stood there under the water jet, forehead leaning on the cold tiles.

A while later, you finally head out of the bathroom, wrapping yourself in a towel. It was cold; Chan used to warm them up for you, you remember.

You sit on the bed, feeling hollower than ever. You don't have the energy to wear your clothes, let alone brush your hair.

You remember when you were so tired one day, Chan had to dress you himself. He then gently brushed your hair, untangling all the knots in it. He was so soft with you, so unsure, it made you fall for him tenfold. 

You couldn't bring yourself to tell anyone about the breakup. You knew what your friends would say, you will get better, it will pass. But how long? How long till it doesn't hurt this much? You needed a number, a date, you needed something certain to grasp into.

You knew they'd hug you, but they wouldn't know how to rub circles on your back. They wouldn't thread their fingers through your hair. They wouldn't place a soft kiss on your forehead afterward. They wouldn't be Chan.

Is this how it will be from now on? No hug, enough. No kiss, enough. No one, enough?

You didn't want to, but the sun rose every day and set every night. And so did you with it. You went on with your life as if nothing happened. But you wouldn't be able to recall who you talked to and what clothes you wore. You wouldn't remember what you ate and how you made it back safely every night.

But you remember how one night the sky was pitch black. Chan's favorite color. And that one morning the birds chirped around you like a saddened melody. It made you wonder if they too knew how it felt to lose a loved one. You could talk about the lines stretching in your palm, and how you traced them over and over again. How you tucked your nails into them every time you thought of Chan, leaving behind bloody crescent indents. 

You remember how you didn't cry during the day, willing yourself to stay strong. You didn't cry until you laid yourself in your bed at night. And there, you broke down all over again as if Chan had just left you. 

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Urgent knocks on your door snap you out of your haze. 2:58, you read on your clock. Wasn't it 11 pm just five minutes ago? 

You drag yourself towards the door, checking through the peephole to see who it was. It's Chan, you realize. You panic, you shouldn't open the door, you've told him it would stay closed. 

"YN... I know you're in there, please let me in. I- I need to talk to you. Please", he begs, his tone apologetic. You can feel your heart soften, your anger dissolve. You wanted to see him.

It's ironic, how he was the one who caused you this pain, and yet your heart yearned for him. It's as if your body didn't yet register that he had hurt you. He had been your home for what felt like an eternity after all. 

But no matter how much you wanted to open the door, you couldn't ignore the truth that he had left you. He broke up with you with no explanation, leaving you in a spiral of self-doubt. You can't go back on your word and allow him to hurt you even more.

So, you slide down the door, knocking twice on the bottom of it. He hears it and understands what you mean. You'd listen to him but you won't see him, not yet. 

He sits down on the cold floor, his back to the door. You are closer than you have been this past week, and yet, he has never felt this far.

"I... I love you so much yn. I've never felt this way about anyone in my life", he starts off his voice thick with emotion. You could feel the tears well up in your eyes too, you'd missed his voice.

"And I- I want to be here for you, always. I want to come home to you early on, and I want to talk to you for more than five minutes at a time. I want to see you when I wake up and sleep and I want to be here every time you cry. Every time you need me. And even if you don't, I want to be there with you, for you".

Chan's heart is beating wildly in his chest, he hasn't thought this through, admittedly. All he knew is that he couldn't go on without you. That's how he found himself knocking at your door at 3 am.

"But I can't, I... I can't give you all of this, I can't give you all that you deserve and more", silent tears are streaming down his face, how he wished he had you in his arms right now. "I thought that... I know that I don't deserve you, and I-I imagined you'd be happier with someone else. Someone who won't hold you back as I do".

Your heart is squeezing in your chest, his words cutting through you like a knife. Is this why he broke up with you? Because he felt like he wasn't worthy enough of you?

"And when I saw you waiting up for me again... Something shattered inside of me. That's why... That's why I broke up with you", he pauses taking a deep breath to steady his voice, "but I can't- I can't lose you, baby, please. I- I couldn't sleep without you, couldn't eat, couldn't breathe, I need you yn. I need you".

Chan presses a hand to his heart, he felt as if the air in his lungs set him on fire. Maybe it was the universe's way of punishing him for letting you go.

"You've once told me that I was too self-giving and that I needed to be selfish from time to time. So here I am being selfish, I need you back, I can't- I can't afford to lose you. I can't, yn. It's killing me".

"Why didn't you tell me any of this? We would have talked, I would have told you that I loved you", you speak for the first time since he came. All of this pain could have been avoided.

"Loved? Do you- do you not love me anymore?", his shaking voice breaks your heart further.

"No, no. Of course, I still love you, Chan. I don't think I can ever stop loving you. You just hurt me, a lot", you whisper the last part, you're not even sure he heard you.

"I know and I'm so sorry baby. So sorry. Please, let me make it better, yeah?".

You don't answer and for a moment Chan thinks he's lost you for good. But then, you open the door, slowly, and he scrambles to his feet.

You lock eyes with Chan, for the first time in a week. You've gone longer times without seeing each other, but this time it feels different. You are both different; sadder.

His hand is outstretched towards you but you step back before he can touch you. You wrap your arms around your body, and he drops his hand down, defeated.

"I'm a grown person Chan. I make my own decisions. And long ago, I chose to love you", you say, your eyes never leaving his. You needed to get this off your chest, "You are not always here, and I do miss you but... You make me feel so loved all the time, even when you are not next to me".

"And I wish...", you hug yourself tighter, in a useless attempt to stop yourself from crying. "I wish you saw yourself how I see you. You are enough, more than enough", you take a step forward towards him and he takes three. "You hear me, Chan? You are enough", your hand meets his cheek and it's all it takes for him to break down.

"I'm sorry, so sorry. I will never... I will never let you go again. I promise, I promise", he cries, his soft whimpers making your heart ache.

"It's okay. We are okay, I forgive you", you smile softly, wiping his tears away with your thumb.

"We are? You mean it?", he asks you, hopeful eyes looking into yours. You nod yes and he beams at you, his smile so bright it slips through the cracks of your heart, making it whole again.

"Can I... Can I hug you?", he asks and you grin, "Come here".

He pulls you in for a hug instantly, his strong arms encircling your body as if he was afraid you'd vanish. Your body finds his like muscle memory- as if you were solely made to hold each other. Everything around you stills, and at that moment all you know, all you feel is each other.

Chan buries his head in the crook of your neck, placing a soft kiss on your skin. His eyes tear up when he smells it- vanilla. Home.

No bc I need him biblically 😭❤

having a bit of a feral moment rn so can you imagine groping binnie's arms. can you imagine it. i know you can, because we've seen felix feel him up multiple times on camera. and BY GOD. i need to feel it too. i swear on my heart, tits, and soul i have never been into muscular men until i set my eyes on seo changbin and i need. i need to just. touch. just a ugh imagining his reaction if you were to like, gently graze your fingertips over his bicep when he's wearing a tanktop or something and he's just - he just turns, cheeks beginning to tint pink as he stares at you in surprise. the way he shudders when you do it again because the gentle touch is so airy and soft on his skin and he's not used to it from anyone other than you. or just. leaning over the back of the couch while he's typing lyrics into his laptop or something and running your hands down his arms, bringing them back up and tracing them over his chest. maybe slipping your fingers beneath the collar of his shirt to feel the warmth of his skin FUCK

im so down bad for this man and i need. to caress his muscles just once. i need to know what felix feels.

I'm not even lying this is exactly what I need to hear from someone, like, just friends telling me pretty is what a friend would normally do and it's not enough. I wanna feel beautiful and loved man🥺❤

Also, this was perfect bc Binnie is my bias❤❤

Body Worship - Seo Changbin

Masterlist

Pairing: Changbin  x reader (afab) 

wc: ~2.7k

Type: Angst, smut, established relationship

Warnings: Insecurities (body image issues), cursing, mention of online bullying & death threats, crying, tons of kissing, love bites/ marking, sensory play (reader is blindfolded), unprotected piv, use of sex toys, prone bone, aftercare. Let me know if I missed any!

a/n: I don’t care who you are, but every single one of you is beautiful! You better believe it or I’ll send Changbin after you, myself! 😤

Enjoy lovelies!

It had been weeks since you showed your face to the public or been out of the house for that matter. All you wanted to do was stay home in your cozy bed and sleep. To say you were insecure was an understatement. Your boyfriend, Changbin, hadn’t really minded your increasing tendencies to stay in bed. He figured you were just catching up on some much needed rest. However, when it was creeping up on the third week of you turning down his date ideas he started to get worried. 

“Bunny, you doing okay today?” 

“I’m fine, Binnie.” You sighed from underneath the pile of blankets. 

Changbin let out a frustrated groan. He knew you weren’t fine, but he couldn’t figure out why. He finally had vacation time and all he wanted to do was spend it with you. Take you out to all your favorite places and maybe make some new adventures. 

You, on the other hand, despised the thought of it. Not because you didn’t want to spend quality time with your beloved boyfriend, but because of what his fans and media might think. You and Changbin had started dating a little over two years ago. At first the relationship was kept a secret with only his group members, close friends, and family knowing of your status. But once you both had felt comfortable you guys decided to make your relationship public. For the most part, it went over well with Stays accepting your presence and news outlets making headlines about you dating the K-pop idol. 

Even though the majority of fans and media welcomed you, there were still toxic fans and tabloids that tried to tear you down. Normally, you wouldn’t let the hate get to you, but some of the things you read in news articles or comments fans made chipped away at your confidence bit by bit. It started off with an unflattering photo caught by paparazzi when you and Changbin were headed to the airport, then the comments began rolling in. 

‘Her face looks so uneven’

‘She dresses like a toddler’

‘Changbin could do so much better’

You wanted to ignore it all. Push all the hate aside and continue with the happiness you found in Changbin. But just when you were getting used to the mild negativity, the death threats came. Some crazy fans had found your personal accounts, threatening you to stay away from their Changbin. There had even been a trending tag on Twitter reading ‘Save Binnie from his scrooge girlfriend.’ 

That was your final straw, the final push that had sent you into recluse mode almost three weeks ago. You started nitpicking your looks and facial features. You became hyper aware of every scar and stretch mark on your body. You would stand in the mirror pinching the chub of your stomach or thighs. Everything made you feel disgusted with yourself and the only way to feel any kind of comfort was to hide away. 

“Come on, you have to talk to me eventually.” Changbin wouldn’t leave you alone.

“Talk about what? There’s nothing wrong…” you lied through your teeth. 

Changbin pulled the duvet from your curled form. You whined trying to grab it back from him. 

“Binnieeee, please just leave me be right now.” 

“Not until you’re honest with me,” he retorted. 

You simply laid there feeling defeated, covering your face with your hands as tears welled at your lash line. He could hear the faint sniffles you were trying to keep quiet. Changbin became increasingly concerned and grabbed your wrists to move them away from your face. 

“Hey, hey baby, why are you crying? Please talk to me. I am begging you.” He was pleading with you. 

“Why are you still with me…?” You averted your eyes, not able to look your boyfriend in the face. 

“What are you talking about? I’m with you because I love you and you make me the happiest man on earth.”

“But I’m nothing more than an ugly fucking scrooge!” You had snapped, tears full on running down your cheeks as you completely turned your face away. 

Bin placed his hands on either side of your cheeks making you look at him. 

“Why are you saying this? Please don’t talk down about yourself, it breaks my heart to see you hurting.” 

“Social media and some of your fans have been saying rude things. But now I see that it’s all true.” You mumbled, halfway hoping he wouldn’t hear you, but he did. 

“None of it is true. You have to stop paying attention to those haters.” He said softly as he rubbed your cheeks with the pad of his thumbs. 

“You’re only saying that..” you tried to pull out of his hold but he kept you close.

“Baby, you are the most gorgeous thing to have ever walked this universe. People are always graced by your beauty when you walk into a room. I am beyond lucky to call you mine and I’ll personally fight anyone who thinks otherwise.” He declared to you.

“So you don’t think I look like the scrooge?” You sniffled.

He chuckled while shaking his head, “course not. You are my beautiful babes.” 

“I- I don’t believe it. I’m sorry.. I just feel so ugly and unworthy of you.” You sobbed again.

Changbin pulled you in close placing a gentle kiss on your forehead before getting off the bed. “Guess I’ll just have to prove it to you. Make you believe it.” He simply stated while walking around the shared bedroom gathering a few items and even lighting a couple of candles. 

For a minute you were confused. How was he going to achieve a seemingly impossible task? You had your mind made up and there was no changing it. Your insecurities were set in stone. 

After Bin had gathered what he was looking for he kneeled on the bed in front of where you were now sat up. 

“Close your eyes f’ me.” He said calmly.

“Bin, I don’t think-“ you tried to resist.

“That wasn’t a request, bunny.” 

You shut your mouth and followed his command, closing your eyes. You could feel some kind of thick silk being wrapped around your head, making sure you couldn’t see anything. 

“What are you doing?” You inquired.

“Shhh, I’m going to be the one asking questions. Understand?” 

“…yes,” you whispered. 

“That’s my girl,” he praised. Changbin ran his fingers through your hair, landing his palm on the crown of your head massaging just the way you liked it. You began to relax, your previous sobbing and sniffles coming to a stop. He then gripped onto the roots of your hair and maneuvered your head to the side so he had easy access to your neck. 

“Can’t believe you’d talk about yourself - my girl - in such a way. You have a wonderful mind and a beautiful body and I intend to worship all of it. Show you exactly what I see.” He placed a kiss on your neck, sucking and biting the flesh which will surely leave a mark. 

“You’re so pretty, so damn pretty.” He murmured with his lips still pressed under your jaw, moving to another spot to mark. Your breath hitched when you felt his tongue lick up the column of your neck. 

Needless to say, you and Bin hadn’t been the most intimate the last few weeks. So every kiss and every touch he gave you made you feel more sensitive. The way his hands caressed down your waist until he reached the hem of your shirt set your skin on fire. He pulled the clothing over your head and tossed it on the floor. You covered your chest with your arms out of reflex, but he stopped you. 

“Don’t hide this gorgeous body from me, sweetheart. I need to see you. I crave you.” He said in an almost animalistic tone. It sent shivers down your spine. Bin placed his hand between your breasts and lightly pushed you down to lay flat on your back. He then slid his hand to the side to cup and squeeze your right breast. “Such beautiful tits you have,” he leaned down to suck on the left. “So squishy and perfect,” he’d say between sucks and licks to your nipples.

You started letting out airy moans at his ministrations on your chest. Changbin came up to place another kiss on your lips before kissing down your sternum and down your stomach. The motions made you tense as you especially hated your abdomen. He sensed the change in your body language and rubbed your sides spending extra time there. His fingertips hooking into the hem of your sweatpants, pulling them down along with your panties. 

“Binnie.. don’t look please.” You started shaking from anxiety. 

“It’s okay, baby. It’s just me. Binnie’s got you, bunny.” He reassured you as he continued his kissing assault on your middle. 

“I especially love your soft tummy. One of my favorite parts of you and the best place to lay my head when we cuddle.” Changbin affirmed. You whined at his declaration, then you felt him go even lower, spreading your legs apart. You wanted to close them so badly but you know he’d just pull them open again. You couldn’t deny that you were dripping with arousal at this point. He landed a kiss on your wet core making you shudder. Then you heard him shuffling for something next to you. You kind of hated not being able to see anything but in a way it made you calmer. 

A few more seconds passed before you felt your boyfriend shift and a cold object was placed directly in your clit. Changbin clicked the device making it come to life. It was your vibrator. The sudden feeling making your body jolt and a whimper escape your lips. You couldn’t see it, but you could practically feel the smirk Bin would most certainly be sporting right now. 

“Now, you don’t get to cum until you admit how beautiful you are. Got it?” He established a rule that he wanted to make sure you understood. 

“Nng I- I can’t!” The vibrations were already drawing you close. 

“Oh you will, bunny.” He said matter of factly.

Changbin kept the little toy in place on your clit as his other hand along with his lips explored every other inch of your body. He chanted how beautiful, gorgeous, and stunning you were like a mantra. You tried to hold your orgasm back as long as you could but he knew you were on the edge by the way your hips bucked. 

“C’mon, say it. Lemme hear ya, honey.” 

Your brain went fuzzy and you just wanted to cum so bad. “M’ pretty! Fuck, s’ pretty!” You called out. 

“Good girl, that’s right baby. Good job,” he praised.

You were panting, trying to catch your breath as he let you calm down from your high. Changbin removed the vibrator from your soaked pussy, tossing it aside. 

Once your boyfriend felt you were ready he maneuvered you so you were laying on your front, facing your body to the foot end of the bed. He then placed a pillow under your lower tummy to make sure you were comfortable. You could feel him situate himself between your legs behind you, his weight slowly pressing onto your back. You felt a light tug to the silk ribbon he had tied around your eyes some time ago. It fell away, allowing you to see again. You blinked a few times to adjust to the lighting. When your eyes focused you could see he had moved you so you could see yourself in the mirror that was placed at the opposite side of the room. You immediately hid your face in the mattress, not wanting to bear witness to the reflection in front of you.

“Don’t look away, bun. Wan’ you to see how absolutely ethereal you look when we fuck.” He nipped at your ear before reaching a hand around to the front of you to grab under your jaw and lift your head. In your haste to hideaway you hadn’t noticed that Changbin was naked on top of you. You wondered how you could feel his cock throbbing so clearly on your thigh. 

“Don’t wanna look,” you whined while locking eyes with him through the mirror. 

“But you just have to see what I see when you cum. You look so pretty when you cum, baby.” You knew there was no protesting, so you simply nodded. 

Changbin lifted his hips slightly so he could line his cock up with your entrance that was currently clenching around nothing. He sank into you slowly, allowing you to adjust. Bin’s cock was thick and the stretch always burned deliciously when he first entered. You let out a breathy moan as he started to grind his hips into your core. The sound of skin smacking as he bounced off your ass. 

He could see your eyes glaze over with lust as pleasure overtook you. You kept your gaze on the mirror as your boyfriend fucked into you mercilessly from behind. “Yeah, that’s it, babe. So fucking gorgeous, my girl- ah,” he landed a harsh slap to your rear making the skin ripple. You let out a squeak between the string of moans falling from your lips. 

Binnie leaned down placing kisses on your back and shoulders, occasionally biting to leave his mark. He’d look up every few thrusts to make sure you were still watching yourself and at one point he saw the position of your eyes shift. You had siren eyes and your moans became more throaty, indicating to him that you were definitely into it. Into checking yourself out which is exactly what he wanted. 

Suddenly, Changbin reached around to grip your neck and pull you up against his chest. Making you both kneel while his other arm wrapped across your waist. His cock reached deeper this way and hit that spot that drove you wild. The knot in your core threatened to snap with every harsh pump of his dick. 

“M’ gonna cum! B-bin please!” You screamed while looking up at the ceiling, your vision becoming blurry. 

Changbin redirected your gaze to the mirror again as he felt your body spasming from your release. 

“Mm fuck look how gorgeous y’ look cummin’ on my cock like that,” he said between grunts as his own high washed over him. His seed spurting into you in waves. 

“So.. gorgeous,” you repeated as your orgasm finished wracking your body. You couldn’t help but watch how your body glowed after your second release of the night. A thin sheen of sweat adorning your body, almost looking like you were sparkling. You looked positively hot, maybe you could see in yourself what your boyfriend saw. 

You both stayed like that for a while, connected and calming down from the mind blowing sex. Changbin pulled out after a few more minutes then went to the bathroom to run a hot bath for the both of you. You laid on the bed feeling uncomfortably sticky from the sweat drying. Before you knew it your boyfriend had returned and picked you up bridal style in his strong arms and carried you to the bath. You giggled and kicked your feet at his display of strength. 

“Binnie! I can walk by myself ya know?” 

“I just fucked you senseless and you think you’d be able to walk straight?” He chuckled.

You huffed in response as he gently lowered you into the water. The warmth encapsulating your body. Changbin stepped in to sit behind you and pulled you back so you were laying on his broad chest. He kissed the side of your head and whispered sweet nothings in your ear while lightly tracing the love bites that were bruising on your skin. 

Somehow the marks made you feel even more confident. They were symbols of your loving boyfriend and that in itself was beautiful to you. 

Likes, comments, and reblogs are always very much appreciated!

Taglist: @doitforbangchan / @jehhskz

binnie😭❤️

binnie belly😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

nom

monch

when I tell you this made feel things, IT MADE ME FEEL THINGS

I fucking love the warm fuzzy feelings I got while reading this, especially the beginning and end. I had a good laugh when I read the end part where Jisung and Lix teased them haha

I love these so much❤

Deity - H.H

Masterlist

Hyunjin x reader (afab)

Summary: You wanted to worship your boyfriend for his birthday, but it seems like he had other plans...

Requested by my dear friend @jehhskz who asked for birthday Jinnie :)

Warnings: Fem reader, Smut, unprotected p in v, established relationship, grinding, kissing, blindfolds, drinking (mentioned), lingerie, cursing, pet names, Hyunjin being a literal poet. Not proof read :)

WC:2.8k

“Is this really necessary? At this point it’s kind of a dead giveaway, my love.” 

“Yes, it’s necessary!” You huffed, as you tugged the blindfold over Hyunjins eyes, fixing his hair as you did so. “ Don’t act all smart with me! Just cuz it’s your birthday doesn’t mean you know everything.” You both were just coming back from a dinner with his family, they elected to take him out to celebrate his 24th birthday.

He laughed at your teasing words, “So when we walk in, it’s not going to be a surprise party?” 

”...... I cannot confirm nor deny any such accusations.” 

 You paused as you stuck the key in the door to your home, knowing the surprise was ruined. Well, one of them anyway.

“Just a heads up before we go in, don’t lose that blindfold.” 

“Huh?” 

You ignored his inquiry and opened the door, leading him inside and shutting the door. You held up three fingers, then two, and one. “Take it off, baby.” 

Hyunjin ripped the blindfold off and was bombarded with a loud “SURPRISE HYUNJIN!”. He looked like a child with the way he was grinning from ear to ear, clapping in excitement at seeing all of his friends in one place. 

The apartment was decorated floor to ceiling in streamers and banners of all colors. There was  even a cardboard cut out of him and placed near a makeshift photo booth in the corner. Clearly a lot of work had gone into this party. 

You took Hyunjins coat from his shoulders as he was pulled further into the home by Felix who immediately took him to get a drink. You watched as he mingled and laughed with his friends and loved ones. He had been working so hard lately and deserved to have some good genuine fun. 

It was hours later, and most of the people at the party had left already. The only ones left in your living room other than you and Hyunjin were Han and Felix. Both the boys were drunk out of their minds. Felix was giggling to himself as rolled on the ground, and Jisung was laid on the couch cuddling with the cardboard Hyunjin, already asleep with drool seeping out of his mouth. 

Hyunjin only had one drink during the party so he wasn’t drunk, having let the first drink fade away over the course of the night. You entered the room carrying blankets for the two drunk boys. There was no way they could make it home in this state and neither of you had a problem with them staying over. 

“Here you are, guys. Blankets and pillows.” You handed some to Felix and went to give some to Jisung but instead just draped a blanket over his form. “Uhh I guess I’ll set this here for him if he wakes up.” 

Felix yawned as he curled his small body into the blankets right there on the floor. “Nighty night.” 

Hyunjin ruffled his hair in passing, chuckling “ night Lix.” 

Hyunjin followed you down the hall into your shared bedroom, you were sitting on the bed as he closed the door. You had sultry eyes, eyeing him up and down as he stepped into the room. “Come er’ baby.” You curled your finger, drawing him closer. He humored you with a smirk as he came closer to you until he was right in front of you. You stood up as you gave him a gentle kiss. “Did you enjoy your party, Jinnie?” 

“It was great, my love. The perfect way to end my birthday.” He smiled as he gave you another kiss, using his hand to tilt your face back. 

“Mmm your birthday isn’t quite over yet though. I still haven't given you my present.” you purred, looking up at him through your lashes. 

He bit his lip, eyes glimmering “Oh yeah sweet thing?” 

“Mmhmm” you leaned on your toes and got close to his ear. “Now why don’t you be a good birthday boy and sit down on the bed for me.” 

He raised his brows at your dominance and smirked in amusement, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “Whatever you say boss lady.” He gestured for you to continue. 

You gathered your nerves, trying not to let him see just how shy you were. With a deep breath you locked eyes with him, having a mini staring contest before you slipped your dress down your shoulders and let it fall to the floor. 

“Fuck, my love.” He let out a groan at the sight of you in the sheer black lingerie you wore under your dress. It was a bra and panty combo, coming with garters that hugged your thighs and hips perfectly. There were darker black flowers in the lace, almost as if to give off a more innocent look. Though to him, it was absolutely sinful. 

You tutted when he reached out for you, backing away a few feet. “Nuh uh. No touching, yet.” 

He whined and jutted out his signature pouty lip, “But it’s my birthday you can’t be mean to me!” 

“I think I’m being anything but mean to you, Jinnie” you were giggling as you said it. “If you listen, it’ll make your present even better.” He let out a ‘hmph’ with his pout, but nodded his head anyway. “Still got that blindfold?” He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out the fabric blindfold. You took it from his hands, “Perfect, thank you very much. Now I want you to take your clothes off.” 

He rolled his eyes playfully, “someones bossy today” even with his snark he complied, unbuttoning his shirt slowly while his dark eyes maintained contact with you. When it was fully unbuttoned he let it slide off his shoulders, giving you a view of his toned torso. Even though your boyfriend was on the skinnier side, he still had a good amount of muscle. Enough to toss you around at his leisure, at least. 

Hyunjin watched as you bit your lip when his pants were the next thing to go, noticing how you were unable to stop your eyes from flickering to the bulge in his underwear. He loved how much you admired his body. It made him proud of the work he had been putting into it. 

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” He had a smug grin as he tugged his underwear off next, showing off his hardening cock. No matter how many times you’ve seen it- felt it inside you- it was still the most mouth watering sight to you.

“Pictures are your thing, Jinnie. My thing is telling you to lay down on the bed.” You pointed to the top of the bed with your pillows, and gave him a ‘get to it’ hand wave. 

He shook with laughter as he scooted back on the bed. You had never even attempted to dom him before in the bedroom so it was unsurprising that he didn’t take you very seriously. Though, you were grateful he was at least following your directions. 

Watching you tell him what to do, while you looked like a goddess, was the ultimate birthday gift. You were already the most radiant and beautiful woman he had ever seen but wearing this set, you could ask him to do literally anything and he would do it with a smile.  Or maybe, almost anything.

You licked your bottom lip lightly and seductively made your way to the side of the best towards Hyunjin. The sway of your hips and the fire behind your fluttering stare made his mouth water. He was a man who eats with his eyes, afterall. “You’re the most alluring being on this planet, you know that? God, looking at you is having my cake and eating it too.I’ll never tire of looking at you, lover.” 

When you gracefully approached him you leaned your face down real close to his ear, letting your breath hit the skin, and with a quiet amusement to your voice you whispered, “Put this on, lover.”

“What?” 

He glanced down to your hand that was holding out the blindfold for him to take. Hyunjin shook his head in disbelief, his world suddenly crashing down. 

“Are you being for real right now?” He gave you an incredulous eyebrow raise. 

You hummed, “the realest. Put it on for me, Jinnie.” you batted your lashes at him and jutted out your lip. “Or do I have to do it for you?” 

A low rumble came from his throat, the sex appeal of you compelling him to listen despite his inner turmoil screaming at him to not take his eyes off you. Hyunjin gently snatched the blindfold from you and he slipped it over his head, after giving you one more glance over as if to memorize your visage. 

You hummed your appreciation as you leaned in and gave him a delicate kiss to his pout. He chased your lips as you pulled away, reaching for you but you backed up too far for him to reach. “Darling, come on.” 

You stayed silent as you walked around to the other side of the bed, keeping your footsteps undetectable. This was exhilarating for you. You guys had a discussion a few months ago about maybe trying blindfolds, but it was assumed he would use them on you. What a twist to use it on him first. 

“Love? Where did you g-oh!” You surprised him when you appeared on the opposite side of him and suddenly sat on his lap, straddling his hips just above his member. 

“M’ right here Jinnie.” You raked your nails over his chest and collar bones. His skin turned red as you drew the lines, causing him to hiss quietly. You ran your tongue over the leftover marks, soothing the flesh. He sighed and put his hand on your hip but you smacked it away quickly. “I said no touching, Jinnie.” 

“You’re gonna kill me, sweetheart.” 

You scooted back on him just a little, until you were grinding your hips on his length. Your panties were crotchless so he could tell just how wet you were for him, feeling the glide of your folds over his hardness. You whimpered when the head nudged into your clit. 

He grunted at your sound, able to keenly hear every little sound that escaped you; the blindfold may have blocked his sight but it definitely heightened his other senses. His whole body felt like it was alight, skin pin prickly and tingly as you peppered wet kisses and tongue drags across his collarbones and you grind against him. 

“My love, please, have mercy. Please put it in, you know I can make you feel so good.” He was panting, hands still at his side as he gripped the sheets. 

You hummed, pretending to think about it, “I don’t know, Jinnie. You’re already making me feel so good.” 

“But you know having my cock in you could make you feel even better. You love it when I'm inside, hitting your sweet spot that turns you into putty in my hands.” He was trying to seduce you through his whimpers, attempting to make you see reason. 

“I’m the one who’s trying to make you putty in my hands, baby. It’s your birthday after all.” 

“You’re right it is my birthday.” He panted, licking his lips. “And do you know what I want as my final birthday wish?”

“Do tell.” You moaned when he hit your clit again. 

“I just want to worship you, like the masterpiece you are. Please my goddess, let me leave a sacred prayer at the altar between your thighs.”

Well, who were you to deny him when he spoke poetry like that? 

“Ok, Jinnie. You can do whatever you want to me.” The words barely escaped your lips before his hands were on you. It was like a switch flipped in him as he went from this whimpering boy under you to a growling man, using his strength to flip you over so you were the one on your back. 

You gasped at the sudden display of dominance, watching him rip the blindfold of his eyes. His pupils had grown twice as big in lust and he looked ravenous as he got reacquainted with your special outfit. 

“My love, tomorrow I am absolutely painting you while you wear this for me. Gonna hang it in the entry way for all to see. I need to be in you. You’ve teased me long enough.” He ran the tip of his member into your core, collecting even more nectar from you, before her gently pushed in. “Fuck, so tight for me.”

“Ngghh Jinnie!” You squealed as he entered you. He always filled you perfectly, hitting your g spot on the first thrust everytime. It’s moments like this you forget why you would ever deny him (and yourself) this pleasure. 

“My goddess, my own personal aphrodite. Always so pliant and warm and ripe for the taking.” Hyunjin always got mushy when he was buried inside of you, as if possessed by a long dead shakespearean poet whose only job in the afterlife is to make you drunk on his words. “ You truly are the greatest creation in all of the universe. My lover, my deity.” 

“Fuck Jinnie, m’ all for you.” You cried out as he began to drill into you, going from letting you adjust straight into hard rutting. You were so warm, your walls enveloping him and begging to hold him hostage. 

He was moaning into your mouth, biting on your lips and trying to get as close to you as possible. One of his hands was on your thigh and the other was slithering its way up to your chest. His long fingers found your nipple through the fabric of your bra and gave it a sensual pinch, not too hard, only enough to stimulate you further. 

“My goddess is so good to me, making my special day so perfect. What a blessing you have given me.” He grunted the words as his thrusting increased, feeling his high coming quickly after all the tension and buildup. “Need you to bless me one more time. Need you to give me your nectar, please baby.” 

“Oh my fucking god, Jinnie.” You moaned loudly when the hand that was on your thigh suddenly found the puffy bundle between your legs. You were already so stimulated from his words and thrusts, that the harsh circles he drew on your clit was all you needed. You felt the knot in your stomach explode as you came. “M’ cumming, fuck” 

“Mmmm give it to me. Give me my last present, sweet girl.” He felt you clench on him as you shook from pleasure. “Nggggggggh ohmygod you’re squeezing me so tight, love.” His rutting got even more intense, and his drooling lips captured your own. He shoved his tongue into your mouth, tasting your mouth and growling into you. When you bit his tongue he suddenly lost control, and came with a loud groan against you. 

His hips were bucking wildly as he chased his high, tears gathering on his lash line and hands gripping your body harshly. You could feel him spilling into you, the intense heat he always created being comforting and making you shiver. He ran his lips all over your face as he came down, just laying on you until his dick became too overstimulated and he had to remove himself from within you. 

When Hyunjin pulled back from you, he had a tear rolling down his face. You reached up with a worried coo and wiped it away. “Are you ok, my love? Was it too much?” 

He shook his head, “I’m ok. I just love you, so much. This has been a perfect birthday.” He sniffled as he fell into the spot next to you, pulling you into him. 

“I love you too, Jinnie. You deserve the world. If I can give it to you for at least one day, then I’ll have done my job as your girlfriend. Happy birthday.” You snuggled into him, kissing his chest. 

“You’re more than my girlfriend.” You hummed in puzzlement. “You're my goddess.”

The next morning when you both walked out of your room you found Felix and Jisung sat at your kitchen table, drinking coffee. With how drunk they were last night it was a surprise they weren’t still asleep.

“Morning, boys.” You yawned and waved. 

They both looked at you with an evil glint in their eyes. 

“UHHH OH MY GOD JINNIE.” Jisung faked moaning dramatically in a high pitched voice. 

“NNNGG SO TIGHT, MY GODDESS FUCK” Felix imitated Hyunjn, lowering his tone and groaning. 

They both burst into laughter at the horrified look on both of your faces. 

“I thought you fuckers were dead asleep!” Hyunjin squeaked, his face red with embarrassment. You just buried your face in your hands and turned around going back to your room, the deafening laughter and teasing making you shake your head. Coffee could wait until they’ve calmed down or left. This is what you get for being a benevolent deity and letting them stay over. 

A/N: I hope Hyunjin has the happiest of birthdays ever :) And that he never ever reads this -.-

Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

Lemme know what yall think I thrive off of feedback

Tagged- @ayejaii

©doitforbangchan

nsfw twt links 4 ➞ skz ot8

➞ warnings: twt links, nsfw & mdni, mentions of sex, vibrators, recordings, creampie, oral (f! and m! receiving), morning sex, etc.

➞ authors note: so someone sent in an ask with links while i was preparing this one, and surprisingly, 5 out of the 10 i have in my vault of nsfw twt videos! i'll still answer their ask after this is posted, but thank you @binniesbabygirl !!

bangchan shoves his huge dick into your tight cunt early in the morning.

minho fucks you quietly on the staircase...in public.

dawn sex with thick!changbin. he knows how big he is but contains the smirk due to the pleasure.

maintaining eye contact with hyunjin while he uses your face as a fucktoy.

jisung watches your pierced tits bounce & suckles on them as foreplay before you play with his cock.

chaining up felix while you grab his dick and stroke it from behind. (sadly the other link doesn't work for me)

seungmin lays beneath you so he can get the best view and taste of his life.

putting a toy on jeongin's poor cock to make him jerk his hips forward, in need of some sort of stimulation.

i hope you enjoyed it! if you did, please show admiration of my work by liking/reblogging/sharing/commenting! it really shows me how i am doing as a writer ♡