A Method For Relaxing When Riddled With Constant But Low Grade Anxiety

A method for relaxing when riddled with constant but low grade anxiety

So I don’t really have much of a reference for what it’s like with other people, but I have essentially constant anxiety. It rarely ever devolves into a full on attack but it does leave me with lots of stress and a sort of autopilot mode, I guess you could call it, which lets me still function and get things done without just silently Blue-screening every other half hour over which thing I need or should do first and how much of a failure I am for not getting things done sooner.

But that’s not the point of this post, the point is that I discovered a new little coping mechanism for myself that makes it sooo much easier to fall asleep at night and be able to unwind.

The basic idea of what helps me, is that I treat myself as if I’m an omega in heat. NOW, before you assume, no—this is not anything sexual. I dislike most A/B/O things, but what I do like is how omega heats are treated in the non-smutty fics that are just fluff and comfort. If you’re a regular peruser of the archive or other fanfic sites, then you likely know where I’m going with this.

Soft blankets, a clean bed, and a secure room. I’ve pieced together for myself that each of these things does wonders for my state of mind at night. Cleaning the dirt and little specks of stuff off and out of my sheets let’s me feel like I’ve done something at least a little productive, and reels my subconscious back from its panic over not having done enough for the day and wasting time.

Having soft blankets, a nest of sorts if you will, is not only comfortable and relaxing in of itself, but also makes me feel secure and a bit cut off from the world. A comfort item to hold, clutch like a lifeline, or to just have near during sleep eases my anxiety too, so if you haven’t tried it then it wouldn’t hurt anything to pick one out.

Bedding down for the night in a locked room, or at least a room with a fully closing door is also immensely important for that sense of security and safety. It settles something in the back of my brain that tries to keep me alert and unconsciously ready to defend myself. I assume at least that bit would apply to most people, as I know that it’s makes sleeping easier for everyone if they feel safe. So, all this boils down to really is that if you’re like me and have lots of anxiety keeping you up, start with what makes you feel safe. I know it sounds obvious and like duh, of course feeling safe would lessen anxiety, but just. Take an inventory of sorts. Is your bed comfortable? Is the place you’re sleeping at night defendable? If you have them, are all your windows and doors locked? Common sense stuff that you might have grown used to, but are actually giving your hindbrain little alertness flags.

Any other bitches on here thinking they might be asexual only to happily blue-screen after getting body slammed in fight class by the hot lesbian lady who could snap you like a twig? No? Just me then

Can we PLEASE take a moment to really appreciate this animatic? PLEASE???

For @floofanflurr!! Inspired by their Sans and Frisk from Heart on the Table,,, I just love a protective dad Sans so much

Just a big ole list of papyrus fics

here are some fic recommendations!! most of these are angsty so general trigger warnings for self-harm and suicide!! please check the tags of the fics if you’re triggered by things like that :))… also please tell me if I messed up any of the links haha.. stuff in parentheses is my notes!

Last Updated: apr 10 2023

Confusion by uselessundertalefacts — summary: Ever since they moved to the Surface, Papyrus has been acting a little strange. Or maybe nothing's changed, and Sans has only started to notice now. Sans... isn't quite sure how he feels about it. (One of my favorites!)

The Kings Beneath the Mountain by ReaderRose — summary: King Papyrus, the first of his name, reigned for exactly eight months and seventeen days before falling down. Then he woke back up. (THIS IS UNFINISHED!!)

Tomorrow is Another Day by tangledkites — summary: Talking about things made them feel real, and Papyrus didn't want to feel real, especially now, when he was beginning to grasp the weight of the abuse Flowey inflicted on him. He didn't want to come to terms with how much he had completely and irreversibly changed. But unlike before, he wouldn't be alone. He had his brother now, and Sans would support him every step of the way. [This is a fanwork of a fanwork, meant to take place between chapters 24 & 25 of Flowey Is Not a Good Life Coach, by unrestedjade.]

Tally marks by UntoldMuse — summary: Papyrus saves Sans from doing something incredibly stupid one night. It devolves from there. (This fic… ouch…)

(try to) fix it by zehecatl — summary: It's a Bad Day for Papyrus. (AAAAAAAA)

Sans breaks by BubblyShip — summary: (There’s no summary, but basically Sans gets really mad at Papyrus for doing something stupid. I have really mixed opinions on this fic because it makes me feel sad for both of them…)

A Waltz to Schoenberg’s Op. 47, Accompanied by King Herod on the Saxophone by TownFowl — summary: What do you do with a bird in a cage? Do you ask him to dance when you’ve chained his legs? Do you ask him to fly when you’ve clipped his wings? Do you ask him to sing when you’ve slit his throat? The answer is simple. You pluck his feathers and cook him for dinner. (This one is really beautiful and poetic. It’s a metaphor for Papyrus’s insomnia.)

It’s Raining by kaliawai512 — summary: Gaster loves his sons. He loves Sans, his budding young scientist, energetic, dedicated, and ready to change the world. He loves Papyrus, his sensible, supportive, caring boy who still makes sure all of them eat three square meals and get enough sleep. He loves them more than anything else in the world, and all he wants is for them to have the life they always deserved. No matter what it t͚̫͔a̛̗̤͖̪͓̠̱͞ͅk̡̙̖̫̲̩͍͔̺̹̕e͓̤͘͜ş̪͍̺̗̕. (This is a good series, but it is so incredibly painful. I am not joking. If you love extreme pain and angst with minimal comfort, this is the fic for you!! The series is incomplete, but most of the fics are complete.)

Kingship, And What Comes Next by CatKing_Catkin — summary: "since you left, things have gotten really strange. overnight, a bunch of people mysteriously disappeared, as well as the human souls. people were heart-broken. everyone they looked up to, everything they were relying on, in one night, disappeared. everyone clamored to elect a new ruler as fast as possible. so, uh...by process of elimination...papyrus became the ruler?" This is the story of the Underground after Sans hung up the phone, after Papyrus took the throne. There's no one left to guide him, no one left to look up to. Papyrus doesn't want to let anyone down, especially not Sans when his brother is working so hard to support him. Sans doesn't want to let Papyrus down, when his brother really is all he has left. They make mistakes, they miss one another, but together, they try to figure things out. This is a story about growing up, moving on, and what's important in life. (This fic is so beautifully sad..)

Skipping Record by TheManicMagician — summary: Papyrus and Sans come to realize they're stuck in a never-ending loop of resets. They cope as best they can. (Aka, papyrus fucking loses it)

Letters to a Friend by maximum_overboner — summary: Papyrus, a little overwhelmed with his new position as king, sits down to write letters to his dear friend. After all, who wouldn't want to hear about his cool life, especially when they're relaxing on vacation? (ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch)

Jaimais Vu by maximum_overboner — summary: Entombed within the mountain was a town, and interred within that town there was a skeleton, and within that skeleton was the feeling that something was desperately wrong. (All of maximum’s fics are awesome)

Temporary Permanence by Shippo704 — summary: Repeating the same period of time over and over can really have an effect on a person, or in this case, a skeleton. (Undyne is a good friend but has some weird ideologies??)

Line of Balance by Im_The_Doctor (Bofur1) — summary: Papyrus always has a firm grasp on his emotions. He has to keep his smile on and set an example—which is why it's a little counterproductive that he's standing here now, crying over his pot of spaghetti. (Short but makes me feel so emotion :’))

Irredeemable by ReaderRose — summary: "He was going to wear a fedora and be kind of creepy, with no obvious redeeming qualities." Papyrus was just too great to have friends. Too cool. Too smart. That had to be it. It had to be. (Proto!Papyrus!! This is! So sad! Read it!!)

Enough by skerb — summary: Papyrus struggles through self-worth issues. Sans helps.

Touch and Go by Im_The_Doctor (Bofur1) — summary: Today is just like any other day. Papyrus intends to go about his business as usual—never mind his strange fatigue, or his terrible headache, or his voice giving out when he coughs. He'll deny anything is wrong until he can't anymore. (Sickfic!!)

Acceptable Risk by Im_The_Doctor (Bofur1) — summary: "Can Surface cars fly?" little Papyrus had asked once. Sans had concocted stories that left him in awe, fantasizing about how car doors transformed into wings. It was almost horrifically beautiful, how far the impact sent him and Papyrus now. They soared, wind behind them, frozen in an instant. (It’s no fun being hit by a car..)

(if you have a) bad day by ZekeStrife — summary: Sometimes, even Papyrus has a bad day.

Quiet Time by FuriousPoplar — summary: Papyrus was quiet, sometimes. He didn't think there was anyone he should let know, it just wasn't safe. So he smiled when he was happy, which he does his best to ensure is most of the time. But he also smiled when he was not, because he sort of had to, for his brother. Because of his brother. Maybe he can forget the act, for just a day. Maybe nobody will mind. [Not a chance.]

Encroach by maximum_overboner — summary: The Human had done it. Sans, along with Undyne, Mettaton and everyone Papyrus had really known, had been killed. And so he was there, in the golden, exquisite hall, waiting for them to arrive. He had a few choice words for them. (This…hurts)

Disconnect by Janie (JanieMogami) — summary: It's been one year since the seventh human fell and left Papyrus as the ruler of the Underground, and when Papyrus is finally faced with Undyne's death, the brothers must at last end the charade they've both been keeping up. (I can never resist a good king papyrus fic!!)

He Knows by orphan_account — summary: Why didn't he notice sooner? It was all there. And yet, he doesn't find out until he needs to. Sans slowly figures something out about Papyrus each RESET. Can you guess what?

Sonata by Yessica — summary: There are a lot of different ways to cope with your problems. Papyrus has his violin. (Lovely..)

Despite Everything, It’s Still You by AngeliaDark — summary: Papyrus meets the AU versions of himself, and finds things he has in common with them all--the good, and the bad--and learns more about himself in general. (I don’t normally read AU fics, but this one was p good! Just a warning, it is fairly suggestive but you can probably ignore those bits.)

remember a second ago by nilchance — summary: Papyrus waits for Sans. (Really good! Papyrus is a ghost and watches the genocide timeline play out.)

ten things about Papyrus by zehecatl — summary: here's a lie: Papyrus is fine (tw for sh!! but then again, most of these fics are angsty…)

ICARA by OsisHastoxett — summary: Flowey fucks around. Pre-Canon. (A bit like finaglc, but without the comfort. Very painful.)

Remember to Forget by Celtrist — summary: Anterograde amnesia. The loss of the ability to create new memories after the event that caused amnesia, leading to a partial or complete inability to recall the recent past, while long-term memories from before the event remain intact. (PAPYRUS AMNESIA. GOD THIS ONE HURTSSS)

Invisible by Keelynoelle — summary: Papyrus decided to tell his brother that their father isn't really gone. (Really wanted to slap sans for a second)

When The Great Tire by FamousSmuggler — summary: Captain Optimism is struck by the deadly Pessimist Ray (papyrus is feeling depressed)

Like a Rattlesnake by sugarrbearr — summary: Papyrus, in a moment of desperation and loneliness, turns to the absolute worst person he could ever befriend. Flowey, bored with the repetitiveness of his world, decides to see the limits of a certain skeleton. Even the strongest of people break at some point. (This is my fic ahshdhdkks,x… shameless promotion I know)

Vacation Days by sugarrbearr — summary: “what is going on, papyrus?” Sans asked, frustration clear in his voice. “DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?” said an exasperated Papyrus, who had taken a step away from Sans. Papyrus begins to remember things that he shouldn’t remember. He sees things that shouldn’t be there. What is he supposed to do when this leads to him hurting one of his friends? And will they ever forgive him? (More shameless promotion!! Weeee!!!!)

Flowey Is Not a Good Life Coach by unrestedjade — summary: Flowey gets bored and decides to change up one of his runs. Papyrus presents an interesting project, for the moment. (This one’s a classic!! How could I not include it??)

Taken by Anubisisbunagirl — summary: 6 years ago, Papyrus went missing. He is presumed dead by the world, save for his brother who still holds on to the hope that Papyrus may be alive. One night, it seems Sans hopes are coming true as his missing brother ends up at his doorstep. However, something definitely happened in the six years Papyrus was gone, something that changed him. And where did he get that LV from? (right now it's unfinished and ends on a cliffhanger, but the author is still working on it! papyrus centric but from mostly sans's pov. I don't usually like sans pov but this is REALLY GOOD)

Overdoing It by Gummysaur — summary: Everyone knows Papyrus is a kind person; he always has been, even as a child. However, he wasn't quite as strong and well-trained back then. Not a good combo when you get lost in the Snowdin Woods with all sorts of monsters-most not nearly as merciful as him. (kid papyrus story!! this is so angsty but so sweet AUguagui)

A Lasting Tribute by in_the_aroace_brigade — summary: “Papyrus? PAP? Don’t fall asleep, you’ve had a bad head wound but you are going to be alright.” Papyrus blinked his eyes and stared at her. “OF COURSE I WILL BE ALRIGHT, I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS AFTER ALL. I WAS JUST HAVING A TOUGH TIME REMEMBERING SANS RIGHT NOW." Undyne looked around before sighing and sitting him down on the floor, leaning him against the wall. She looked him straight in the eyesockets and brusquely said “Papyrus, you don’t have a brother. There is no Sans. He is a figment of your imagination, he isn’t real. Whatever magic you did to destroy the Barrier must have implanted these false memories in your mind, but it is okay, because we are free now and we’ll help you remember, okay?”  (sans gets gastered and papyrus suffers)

He smiled at last. by SuckMyPiano — summary: A day at the beach, as Papyrus is getting used to his new life at the surface with Sans in his arms. (Dustjar au. This one really hurts…)

I will add more fics probably… for now, go enjoy these ones!!