Coping - Tumblr Posts
Poolhouse - Poolhouse Remodeling ideas for a sizable coastal backyard with a rectangular lap pool
Lap Pool Picture of a large, elegant backyard with a specially shaped lap hot tub
Beach Style Pool - Infinity
Large beach style backyard stone and custom-shaped infinity hot tub photo
St Louis Natural Pool An illustration of a substantial traditional backyard fountain with a naturally shaped pool
St Louis Natural
Inspiration for a large, classic backyard renovation featuring a natural pool fountain in a custom shape
San Diego Fountain Pool Pool fountain: idea for a tropical backyard fountain with a custom shape
Pool in New York Example of a huge backyard concrete paver and custom-shaped natural hot tub design
Fountain Pool in Atlanta Pool fountain - huge country backyard custom-shaped pool fountain idea
My Issues...
This goes out to all the people with "issues" physical, mental, and emotional...all of it.
I have been diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I also have an intense fear of driving and I worry about EVERYTHING! Had a mental breakdown in the middle of Chemistry in High School. I was almost expelled for my subsequent "episodes." I do my best to work through these issues on a daily basis. Sometimes I kick ass and take names with them, but other times I just want to curl up into a ball and drown out the world. It sucks, but you deal with the cards you're dealt.
Physically, I was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure last year. Before I was told this, I was trying to live with over 100 lbs. of fluid. I could barely walk or do basic chores. I couldn't even bathe myself. I had to have my mom help me. I could hardly breathe without wheezing because of the fluid in my chest. I couldn't even sleep in a bed because it aggravated my breathing, having to sleep in a recliner so I could breathe at night.
Some of you who see my obsessive posts may think I am just some sorry-ass moron that lives in their parent's basement because I'm lazy or a good-for-nothing, hopeless piece of shit (trust me these thoughts cross my mind daily.) However, my fandoms and ships and being able to talk about them on here without feeling weird keeps me grounded and sane. I NEED to share what I share because I want to make friends here and be able to talk about my interests.
I am saying this to lay my heart open. I also want to reach out to people who also have "issues" and "problems" that may have been put down for things they have said or done on here that caused people to ridicule them.
To those who ridicule people like me or those like me, please note: You don't know what someone goes through or has gone through on a daily basis. Your words can hurt more than you could know or even intend. Just be careful out there, okay?
Sorry for the rant!
โ๐๐ฌ, ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ธ๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ๐ญ๐บ ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐บ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ข๐ง๐ต๐ด ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ญ๐ช๐ง๐ฆ, ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ค๐ข๐ถ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ด ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฃ๐ณ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฅ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ณ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต. ๐๐ถ๐ต ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ค๐ข๐ด๐ฆ, ๐ด๐ฎ๐ถ๐ต. ๐๐ฐ๐ณ๐ณ๐บ. (๐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ?) ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ง๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ด.
โFem! Reader x Gojo Satoru
Shut the fuck up the latest chapters are LIES
โโโโโโโโโโโ
Satoru, absolutely flabbergasted when you ask if you can try on his blindfold.
โYou though you had tโ ask, baby?โ
But regardless, his hands are excruciatingly gentle as he ties his most favourite pair across your eyelids, asking you if itโs too tight.
He laughs as he spins you around to get a look at you, and then promptly loses every train of thought after that.
Because you look so fucking hot with his blindfold on.
Flushed, breathing loudly as you struggle to catch your breath from laughing, a tiny โToru!โ Falling from your lips.
He needs to kiss you. So bad, right now.
His hands slide down your shoulders to your waist, and his tight grip makes you lose your words.
โToru?โ
And god fucking damn it all, the breathy way you say it has blood pulsing down south, and he kisses you as if he will devour you whole. Your hands come to fist in his shirt by his chest, and you feel exhilarated, the blindfold having your nerves on overdrive.
Satoru feels every one of your gasps and whimpers against his skin, and he feels ignited. Your hands trail down under his shirt, and the ten points of contact on his abs kill all the leftover brain function he had in one fell swoop.
He picks you up, and never leaving your lips, takes you over to his bedroom, laying you gently on the bed. Pulling back just enough to rip your shirt off. Your gasping in tiny little breaths, and he can see the pleasure and confusion warring on your face.
It makes him want to fuck you till he canโt.
His mouth is everywhere and nowhere at once, and the unknown sends sparks of pleasure shooting across your skin.
Youโre under him, broken moans leaving your mouth as he snaps his hips into yourโs over and over again, never keeping his hands in one place.
Satoru leans forward, one hand leaving your hips and the other trails down until it hits your clit. Once his finger starts moving, you arch, muscles tightening as your moans reach another pitch. His name leaves your mouth continuously, littered with โFuckin-hahhhh~โ and he just wants you, needs you, canโt get enough of you.
His other hand goes up, until he hooks a finger underneath the blindfold and snaps against your skin. You whimper against the onslaught of light, before you finally see him.
Heโs towering over you, his body the best thing youโve seen, but itโs the overwhelming amount of love he has in his eyes that makes your breath catch itself in your throat.
He continues to snap the blindfold, and he can feel you clamp harder and harder, and he knows that your close. Your moans reach another level again, and all of a sudden you donโt know whatโs coming out of your mouth. Your body tightens before it convulses under the weight of your orgasm.
โFuck-Toru~โ
And all he can think is your pussy around his cock, your eyes covered with his blindfold, increasing your pleasure, and all he says in response is:
โOne more, sweetheart. Gottaโ pay me back for taking my blindfoldโ
โ ๐๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ด, ๐ด๐ฉ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ๐ด ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ค๐ช๐ข๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ! ๐๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ช๐ด๐ต๐ณ๐ช๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฌ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ
A method for relaxing when riddled with constant but low grade anxiety
So I donโt really have much of a reference for what itโs like with other people, but I have essentially constant anxiety. It rarely ever devolves into a full on attack but it does leave me with lots of stress and a sort of autopilot mode, I guess you could call it, which lets me still function and get things done without just silently Blue-screening every other half hour over which thing I need or should do first and how much of a failure I am for not getting things done sooner.
But thatโs not the point of this post, the point is that I discovered a new little coping mechanism for myself that makes it sooo much easier to fall asleep at night and be able to unwind.
The basic idea of what helps me, is that I treat myself as if Iโm an omega in heat. NOW, before you assume, noโthis is not anything sexual. I dislike most A/B/O things, but what I do like is how omega heats are treated in the non-smutty fics that are just fluff and comfort. If youโre a regular peruser of the archive or other fanfic sites, then you likely know where Iโm going with this.
Soft blankets, a clean bed, and a secure room. Iโve pieced together for myself that each of these things does wonders for my state of mind at night. Cleaning the dirt and little specks of stuff off and out of my sheets letโs me feel like Iโve done something at least a little productive, and reels my subconscious back from its panic over not having done enough for the day and wasting time.
Having soft blankets, a nest of sorts if you will, is not only comfortable and relaxing in of itself, but also makes me feel secure and a bit cut off from the world. A comfort item to hold, clutch like a lifeline, or to just have near during sleep eases my anxiety too, so if you havenโt tried it then it wouldnโt hurt anything to pick one out.
Bedding down for the night in a locked room, or at least a room with a fully closing door is also immensely important for that sense of security and safety. It settles something in the back of my brain that tries to keep me alert and unconsciously ready to defend myself. I assume at least that bit would apply to most people, as I know that itโs makes sleeping easier for everyone if they feel safe. So, all this boils down to really is that if youโre like me and have lots of anxiety keeping you up, start with what makes you feel safe. I know it sounds obvious and like duh, of course feeling safe would lessen anxiety, but just. Take an inventory of sorts. Is your bed comfortable? Is the place youโre sleeping at night defendable? If you have them, are all your windows and doors locked? Common sense stuff that you might have grown used to, but are actually giving your hindbrain little alertness flags.
Self harm
What is self harm?
The act of injuring oneself, with the said intent.
Why do we do it?
Because sometimes there is so much pain, so much suffering, so much anger inside, that we need to get it out. We wonโt take it out on those around us, we know how it feels and we wouldnโt put another person through the pain we felt.
So what do we do? We take it out on ourselves. We know we shouldnโt but sometimes we arenโt able to think.
I remember nights when I sobbed quietly when I wanted to wail, get it all out. I couldnโt. I took it out on me..
I scratched and I scratched till I bled. And then I did it again, and again, and again.
Iโve stopped now. I found friends with whom I could open up,Talk to about what goes on inside my head, cry as loud as I wantย and for as long as I need.
Iโve found my solace in other things. I write. I water color. I may not be that great but itโs something that keeps me sane.
If there are people out there, and I know there are because I was one of them, who hurt themselves to keep a sane mind, donโt. I know it sounds stupid when I say it. Find someone whoโll listen, pick up a hobby, find someone to talk to.
And if you donโt find anyone, talk to me. Iโll listen. Iโll be there for you like how my friends were there for me.
Love.
@goodoldlampย
My brain lanyard! It has a fidget, a case containing my earplugs (loops experience, very light noise cancellation for when Iโm overwhelmed but still want to hear the prof/person Iโm talking to), and an urn necklace charm containing not an incinerated loved one, but pills! More specifically, the take as needed pills that I am most likely to forget to take in the heat of the moments when I need them (panic attacks). I am more likely to remember that I have these tools when I need them when they are hanging around my neck or in my pocket every waking moment, rather than in a bag where I canโt see or feel them.
Houston Pool
Picture of a large rectangular hot tub in a tuscan backyard with lap tiles
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โบ Introduction :
This book isnโt really a book.
Itโs more of a diary, a journal. In this I will simply put not only my opinion but my thoughts, precisely my train of thoughts.
Why you may ask. Simply because thinking is something I do a lot, maybe too much. I am what you may call an over-thinker. Even though most of the time I perceive it as some sort of curse for making me dwell on things too much, I sometimes find myself being impressed by how much one can think, by how oneโs mind can go far and fast. So during one of my never ending insomnias I thought, why not write down those thoughts, those things you think or ask yourself about. It might actually help me write better and take away a bit of the burden that are those overwhelming thoughts, and maybe someone, like you dear reader, might relate to the things I write. Therefore I decided to give it a shot and simply put my mind into words, or at least Iโll try.
I donโt wish to speak too long in this introduction for fear of boring away some potential readers, not that I really care if actual people are going to read this or not, but I do have two more things to add.
First, I feel like I have to precise that I have not been an English speaker since birth. Itโs a uselessly complicated way to say that I am still in the process of learning this language but I love it and I feel much more at ease writing in this universal language than my mother tongue. So my bad if I make some mistakes I try to proof read as much as I can usually but because I think in this journal Iโll just write as it comes I might make more mistakes that I might not see.
And finally, I simply wanted to address the meaning of the title. I always struggle to find titles for my books and novels, so most of the time I settle for something a bit abstract but still linked to the matter at hand.
Consequently, I decided to title this (whatever this is) โ๐๐๐ง๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ฌโ because in French those flowers are named โPensรฉesโ which also means โthoughtsโ.
I originally thought of a word play with โforget me notโ and โforget me notesโ because I personally write a lot of what's on my mind in the notes app on my phone... Am I the only one to do that?... Anywayโฆ
To conclude, as I said somewhere above, I donโt really care if nobody actually ends up reading this, I might even keep it to myself, but if you are really there my dear reader and it is not myself reading this page over and over again in order to find a reason to do something about this manuscript, I hope you will enjoy this, whatever this is, and if you donโt I hope at least I will enjoy it.
โฟโโฟ
๐บOriginal work, please do not steal or copy. Thanks.๐บ