Ive Realized For Years Now That Ive Been In A Deep Toxic Depressive Goopy Quicksand That Been Making

I’ve realized for years now that I’ve been in a deep toxic depressive goopy quicksand that been making my depressive episode go out of wack at the point it’s very unhealthy & my actions during it is very dumb cuz I didn’t bother to reach to talk about it cuz i have terrible self doubt issues that my brain makes me think “no one is gonna listen or care about it” & other unrealistic bull-Bull it can think of but in reality: my close friends & peeps DO care and WANT to be there for me no matter what to see if I’m okay or not.

Plus another issue is that I’ve been way way way WAAAAAAAAAAAY to cruel to myself over the dumbest things. Like if I feel happy about anything or being around something that makes me happy, if a friend just happen to have a bad day or something sad happen to them: my head goes straight to blaming myself for it even though I have NOTHING to do it and was not the cause of it but my stupid brain refuse to see the reality and just manipulate the heck out of me.

That also goes for me whenever I feel really very masculine and being proud of myself & being proud of my true identity, my dysphoria really loves to creep it’s ugly ass head in the corner and beat me down for it at the point I don’t want to get out of my house or bed cuz of these dark thoughts.

Ngl it’s hard to admit that i have these issues and dealing with them in the most unhealthy way is nuts but I think for this New Years and forward I’m gonna changed that.

I’m gonna try to deal with my mental & health issues the best & healthiest way I can and this part is gonna be hard for me but I need to learn to not put myself down so damn much and be at least nice to myself over anything.

Of course it’s not gonna b easy & getting out a toxic routine is scary but it’s what best for me!

Not much of my goals have been changed from 2 years ago but now I’m gonna add: meet new peeps & be nice to myself!

Well I hope u guys have a good day and wonderful New Years UwU

Eyo look who it is 🍷🍸🍺🥃

I got some Spamton I’m working on but here’s a clean sketches of my version of the Addisons with their names & what I think their jobs would be :o

“A group of bright colour-coded characters that sell merch” was the only thing I had going into this

Bonus: 

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ATTENTION ALL DTMG FANS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT STILL BE HERE!!!!!!!

My boyfriend @pastapastry and I managed to compile ALL 52 EPISODES in 1080p HD!!! They’re logoless and all pretty great quality, and they are in pairs. I went through and put all the episode names + numbered them in the order they came out. The only thing we’re missing now is an HD upload of Walk This Way … if anyone has a copy of that, please contact me. Anyhow, feel free to share around and get your HD Billy’s! :) 

… Although, if you’re thinking about watching it for the first time… please know some of it did NOT age well at all. It wasn’t even okay at the TIME, tbh, but. :/    Most of it’s good though!! Just skip the blair wright project, the uninvited, and billy do joe. Those eps are BAD.

I’ve seen others do their ref sheet if their own version of Spamton & NEO so I guess heck why not

Not much of a different beside he chunky n goofy