Changeisgood - Tumblr Posts

I’ve realized for years now that I’ve been in a deep toxic depressive goopy quicksand that been making my depressive episode go out of wack at the point it’s very unhealthy & my actions during it is very dumb cuz I didn’t bother to reach to talk about it cuz i have terrible self doubt issues that my brain makes me think “no one is gonna listen or care about it” & other unrealistic bull-Bull it can think of but in reality: my close friends & peeps DO care and WANT to be there for me no matter what to see if I’m okay or not.

Plus another issue is that I’ve been way way way WAAAAAAAAAAAY to cruel to myself over the dumbest things. Like if I feel happy about anything or being around something that makes me happy, if a friend just happen to have a bad day or something sad happen to them: my head goes straight to blaming myself for it even though I have NOTHING to do it and was not the cause of it but my stupid brain refuse to see the reality and just manipulate the heck out of me.

That also goes for me whenever I feel really very masculine and being proud of myself & being proud of my true identity, my dysphoria really loves to creep it’s ugly ass head in the corner and beat me down for it at the point I don’t want to get out of my house or bed cuz of these dark thoughts.

Ngl it’s hard to admit that i have these issues and dealing with them in the most unhealthy way is nuts but I think for this New Years and forward I’m gonna changed that.

I’m gonna try to deal with my mental & health issues the best & healthiest way I can and this part is gonna be hard for me but I need to learn to not put myself down so damn much and be at least nice to myself over anything.

Of course it’s not gonna b easy & getting out a toxic routine is scary but it’s what best for me!

Not much of my goals have been changed from 2 years ago but now I’m gonna add: meet new peeps & be nice to myself!

Well I hope u guys have a good day and wonderful New Years UwU