Accidental Confessions
accidental confessions
how the bluelock men would confess to you
includes: sae, nagi, rin

sae itoshi
sae didn't mean to confess, he really didn't. it was purely accidental. to him, in a world full of football and being the best there wasn't any time for love.
but you were his manager (sneek peak into an upcoming fic btw), you dealt with him so kindly, despite his temper tantrums and attitude worse than a teenager who had a bad day. so how was he supposed to not fall for you?
so when you were scolding him for not paying attention and being distracted be it listening to what you were saying or just being "out of it" in general, he snapped.
it was late evening after a particularly intense practice session with the team, but sae, of course stayed back, he was having a shitty week, both in and out of practice, he would himself distracted very often, but he didn't know others could notice it, not until you approach him. "sae? it's getting late you should probably head back" he stops dribbling the ball to stare at you with a deadpan expression as he curtly replies with a "no", now that was annoying, you couldn't exactly leave until he did, him being distracted all week was not only a hindrance for him, but for the entire time and you. "for god's sake stop acting like a child sae and just go home. you've been distracted all week and because of that not only you but the entire team and me had a shitty week, so please just go home and rest."
that caught his attention, as he suddenly halts. he didn't like any part of what you just said. was his performance so lackluster that everyone was hindered? well now he had to do something about this crush, didn't he?
"well, i'm sorry that i fell in love with you and now you won't fucking leave my damn mind and now i'm fucking distracted almost always because all i can think about is you. i didn't mean for this to happen either but i can't do shit about it."
now this was all confusing to you, because THE itoshi sae loves you? and you're on his mind 24/7? you're the reason he's distracted? there were so many questions running through your head. "you what...?"
"i said it once and i won't say it again. it doesn't matter anyway." he grabbed his duffel bag angrily slinging it over his shoulder heading out of the field without doing his usual routine.
doesn't matter anyway? how was he so wrong? was he that oblivious that he didn't notice your feelings for him?- were all the thoughts that ran through your head. before sae could go any further, you catch up to him "you're stupid. you're so so so fucking stupid, and very rude."
stupid? rude? what did you mean? what did he do? he knew you didn't feel the same but how was that rude? wasn't he understanding?
"i find it so incredibly rude that you think i'm not head over heels with your oblivious ass. are you a brick or something? because you're dense as fuck." you breathed out, looking straight at him, though his back was facing you.
he was overwhelmed, the itoshi sae was overwhelmed. the impossible thought of you liking him back was possible and very real? he slowly turned to face you, not realizing just how close you were standing. "tell me you aren't joking, because i swear if you are-"
he got cut off by a kiss. it took him a moment to realize what was going on but once he did he pulled you in closer. as you pull away from him and ask him "enough proof for you to know i'm not joking?"

nagi seishiro
nagi believe everything was a pain, waking up in the morning, going to school, any and every "normal" task was a pain to him. but not you, talking to you wasn't a pain, going out to a cafe with you wasn't a pain; being with you wasn't a pain.
so of course, nagi fell for you, hard and fast, but how could you blame him? you were so understanding and kind to everyone that it was impossible not to love you and nagi being nagi wanted to ask you.
it was finally spring. warm weather was approaching, beautiful cherry blossoms were in bloom, and couples were everywhere. nagi thought it was the perfect time to confess to you.
so when he saw you during lunch break talking to some of your friends near a vending machine smiling so brightly, your sweet giggles ringing in his ears, he swears he fell in love again.
your friends being the oh-so-amazing wingmen they were, excused themselves the moment nagi approached. your heart beat loud and fast. it was scary, being alone with nagi, you didn't know why you felt this way but you did.
it was hard not to fall for nagi, he was just so adorable. it was no secret that nagi was a prodigy, his talents knew no limit, but that didn't make him a show off. no, he was still a genuine and overall an amazing person.
nagi unknowingly trapped you between him and the wall, his hand next to your head, he looked down at you with a small smile. "can you wait for me after school near the gate? i need to confess to you."
you were dumbfounded, he said that so confidently, you doubted if he knew what he just said. "nagi.. just repeat what you said"
he was confused, why did you ask him to repeat as he replays what he told you in his mind, he realized that he technically just confessed right now, a soft "oh" leaves him as he realizes.
"well you should still wait after near the gate, i'll take you on a date."
and without any further explanation he left the scene, console in his hand heading towards where ever reo was.

rin itoshi
rin was a soft person, before spain, rin was the sweetest you, never once did he ever hurt you, physically or emotionally. why would he? you were his bestfriend, the one person he cherished along side his brother.
but that all changed after the incident with sae, it was like someone did a whole 360 on his personality, he was cold, aloof, egotistical and extremely competitive.
he didn't care about anyone or anything, all he wanted to do was beat sae and isagi. he didn't take care of himself and that was worrying. because all he did was practice.
you welcomed yourself into the itoshi household, you could say it was perks of being next door neighbors and family friends. you greet rin's mom and head over to his room like you usually did, sometimes he'd come from practice when you were there, sometimes he wouldn't. however today was different, because the moment you entered his room, you see rin focused on the screen infront of him observing a match.
it was concerning and it didn't help that you didn't know how long he had been sitting there, staring at screen.
"rin?" you call out his name, knowing he wouldn't really give a reply just a hum of acknowledgement that your in this room. usually you would have given up and just sat there doing your own things but today you were persistent.
"rin? can you atleast look at me?" he turns his head around annoyed that his concentration was broken "what?"
"for how long have you been sitting there?" you sit down on his bed facing him with a questioning look on your face.
"how does it matter? why are you even here?"
that pissed you off. the questions 'how does it matter' or 'why are you even here' pissed you off, but it didn't only anger you, it hurt you. you were his bestfriend. of course it mattered, and you were there because you cared and it hurt because now it felt like this "friendship" was one-sided
"i'm here because i care rin, why else would i be here?"
"since when did you fucking care?! even if you do, i didn't ask you to care for me, don't be surprised when you're getting ignored by me."
"since fucking forever you stupid dunce, maybe i fucking care about you because i'm in love with you, but the way you're behaving makes me feel like you don't give two shits about how i feel and maybe you don't, but i care about you, and maybe that's my biggest mistake."
was all he heard before the door slammed, he didn't know why but he chased after you. to him there was no time for romance or love if you want to become the best, but when he heard those words coming from you, that was a wake up call for him. he grabbed your hand right before you reached the porch of your house.
"i love you" he didn't know why he said it, he didn't know what else to say, he didn't know what else to do but just say those three words and hug you, and when he did, he knew he meant those three words more than anything else in his life.

ALSO LMK IF I SHOULD MAKE A PT.2 OF THIS
sigh this took alot longer than it should have and this was pretty hard to write because of the dialogues and i find it to be awkward but hopefully it's still fine and you all like it. i know rin's part wasn't him confessing but instead the reader confessing but whatever.
also to the anon that had requested a certain fic, i'm working on it, it may take a little while longer, so i wrote this in the meantime so i had something to post.
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More Posts from Blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhggg

"They didn't just destroy our homes; they sought to obliterate our memories. Our house held our cherished memories and faith, and their actions were deliberate. Every corner of our home was filled with beautiful memories. Oh God, who can return it to us? Who can, O God, turn back time to before the seventh of October? O God, we are so tired and exhausted from being homeless and living in tents. O Lord, please give us back our homes and our loved ones."
Any donation means a lot for them

Kaiser as your bf hcs
summary; basically the title

pairing; Micheal Kaiser x m!reader
warnings/tags; reader is playing for bastard munchen, not proofread, suggestive in a way that I don't get
a/n; i wrote this when i was relishing the thought of eating the sea food in eating shows, plz don't bomb me if ever the grammar is shitty.

★ when you two perform 1v1s and he loses, he tries to brush it off as not even trying.
★ his ego is fragile as fuck and he expects you to take care of him. even if you were the one to wound his pride.
★ as much of bitch as he is, he actually (kind of) takes care of you when you had a shitty day.
★ he's lowkey insecure of his looks, because of the fact he looks way too much like his mom for his comfort.
★ he's genuinely such a loser that it's embarrassing (affectionate).
★ if ever he's wearing anything more than eyeliner, it's a really thin layer of foundation.
★ plus on the topic of makeup, he prefers jaw or neck kisses cause he doesn't want you to ruin his makeup.
★ he gets so offended when you insult or mildly say something bad about how he goes about his morning, cause he sees it as his motivation.
★ he uses kaiser as an excuse for you to treat him as an emperor.
★ he really expects some praise. just stroke his ego and he'll be happy.
★ for some reason he gets offended when you tug his rat tails during make out sessions.
★ for some reason he is really adept in guilt tripping.
(i might edit some in but my brain is rotting too much to come up with something)

Michael Kaiser — Stench
PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 9k TYPE: Angst, Childhood friends, Making up, occasionally funny WARNING(S): Poverty, implied/referenced child abuse, house break-in, spoilers for Kaiser's backstory, if I missed something lmk NOTE(S): This is a two shot but I'm posting it here combined for my own convenience. The numerals show how the chapters are separated and indicates a long time skip.
I.
Someone’s coming closer and closer. It’s hard to catch Kaiser off guard — he’s sensitive to the slightest of sounds, so he can hear them approaching from behind without trouble, these sloppy footsteps slapping against the cement as if the owner is wearing really shitty shoes. He freezes with the ball still in his hands, doesn’t dare look back and check who it is, an irrational part of his brain suspecting it to be his father.
It takes a while for whoever it is to cross the distance, and then an unfamiliar voice rings, “Hey.”
Kaiser glances over his shoulder finally. You stand there, peering down at him while he’s sitting, cigarette spreading fumes in the air even though you don’t look any older than him. He doesn’t say anything to acknowledge you, though, just stares, tense and confused about your intentions.
You crouch down so you are at eye level with him. The bad smell follows, wafting by his nose and he holds down a cough on the off chance any noise might set you off and make you violent. You pull it out of your mouth and flick it away from him, apparently possessing enough decorum to stop blowing smoke in his face. “Why are you always doing that?”
“Huh?”
Kaiser knows what you mean, but he can’t help asking. After all he’d noticed you before all those times just like you’d noticed him. Every day you hang around the solitary playground at a distance while he messes around with the ball, though he never expected you’d speak to him. If anything you never pay much mind to each other.
You usually leave like you’re on some kind of schedule, but you’re up close to him now and he can see you’re in a similar condition to him — bruises and dirt littering your skin, tattered and ill-fitting clothes barely hanging onto your frame. The offenders behind your loud entrance he identifies as the torn pink fuzzy slippers he always sees you wearing, smeared with faded mud. Certainly not the most reliable footwear, but you’re in a better boat than he is on that front, what with him not wearing any shoes at all. Not his fault he outgrew his last pair, although naturally his father found a way to blame him. He’s creative like that.
“You’re always kicking the ball and punching the shit outta it.”
Embarrassed by the reasoning behind his behavior maybe, Kaiser averts his eyes. He hopes not responding will dissuade you from interacting with him.
It doesn’t work. “What’s your name?”
“… Michael.”
“So basic, but fine. I’ll call you Micha, ok?”
“You don’t need to call me anything.”
You offer your name in return. After taking another drag, you smile and ask, “How old are you?”
“Thirteen,” he says, figuring this is unimportant enough information that he can offer it without consequences until you grow bored and go away.
You grin at him and squint your eyes. The expression makes you seem smug for no discernible reason. “I’m fourteen, so I’m your senior. You can call me boss if you want. Got it, small fry?”
What an annoying attitude. He places the ball over his stomach and adjusts his position so he’s hugging his knees, this surly expression on his face. “It’s not even that big of a difference…”
“You sound so pensive when you talk. Hey, why do you kick the ball even though you don’t have shoes? Doesn’t it hurt?”
What else is someone supposed to do with a piece of trash except hurt it? Expressing such a sentiment out loud seems shameful, though. “Why are you smoking even when it’s bad for you and stupid and tacky? Why are you asking dumb questions even though you’re not getting anything out of it?”
You burst out laughing. “Woah, relax. Touchy.” When he doesn’t respond and instead continues scrutinizing you with scorn (which at this point you deem undeserved), you say, “I stole ‘em off someone. What’s stopping you from stealing a pair of shoes?”
“They’re too big to steal. It’s impractical.”
“You think small, but fair enough,” you say, before standing up, still grinning. Then you wave. “I’ve gotta go now. I’ll see you tomorrow, Micha.”
“Who said I want to see you?”
You laugh again as if his rejection is funny, but trudge on away from him. “C’mon, lighten up.”
Kaiser scoffs, pressing his cheek against the ball, tightening his hold against it. There is nothing to lighten up about.
___
Kaiser hasn’t taken any particular liking towards you, but you do hang out together every day since you approached him. He’s not sure why he tolerates your presence. Maybe because you’re resourceful — stealing is so much easier when you two coordinate. Or maybe it’s nice to talk to someone who doesn’t seem to want to strike him down and strangle him.
Currently you’re at the playground again. The lighter you use has some ugly, childish print on it. Kaiser is trying to inflate his ball with the air pump you swiped together from a shop in town earlier after you made fun of how ‘sad and flat’ it was and came up with the idea. When he hears the flicker and then registers the smell, Kaiser asks, “How many do you smoke a day?”
“One is to be stylish. Two is if I didn’t appreciate the first one enough. Three is if I still don’t feel like shitting.”
Kaiser frowns in disapproval at the moronic remark. Funny in an ironic sort of way how this lifestyle has you sounding like a ridiculous, fake adult — neither child nor mature, but something else entirely. A different category of human. He wonders if you think the same about him. “You fucking smell. How many are there in a pack?”
“Twenty,” you say after uselessly flipping over the lid, even though for one it’s not full and you already know the answer anyway, so it’s not necessary to check.
“So if you smoke three a day then you have to… steal one every two weeks?”
You scrunch your eyebrows in confusion at this assessment. “No, that’s not right. It’s like once or twice a week depending.” Then you do some weird counting on your fingers for a while. “But even if it was exactly three a week, that’s like six point six or some shit like that. Dummy.”
“Shut up, shithead,” says Kaiser, embarrassed.
“Ok.”
“Leave me alone. I didn’t think about it too much.”
“I’m not even saying anything.” A moment of silence passes until an enlightened remark comes to mind. “Hey, Micha.”
“What?”
You scoot a little closer to him. Kaiser gets nervous at first and freezes, but calms down when it seems you’re not inching your hands towards him. Though the relief is short-lived because then you take an exaggerated sniff of the air and grin. “You stink too.”
He glares at you.
The ball ends up fine. Sure, it’s still beat up and dirty as most things around him, but at least it’s functional enough to kick again, and that’s what’s important.
___
“What now,” says Kaiser with an attitude of being greatly inconvenienced before plopping down next to you on the sidewalk.
You continue counting, trying to keep track of how much money you have on you. A series of gross, dry coughs escapes your mouth. When the fit near passes, you spit on the ground as if to ease your throat, hitting your chest for good measure. Kaiser watches the display with an impassive look on his face. Eventually you turn towards him and ask, “What’s your problem?”
“I don’t have a problem.”
“Ok.”
“You’ve been quiet, not talking to me.”
“I’m gonna go get a haircut so I’m trying to see if I have enough,” you say, figuring he’s wondering about what you’re doing in a roundabout way.
Kaiser rams his head into his knees and makes some kind of noise which you can’t categorize between acknowledgement and disapproval.
You say, “Those children from the schoolyard were telling me having a bad haircut is ‘social suicide.’ Like ‘getting stabbed’ everyday. Apparently it’s the bowlcut that’s really shameful.”
“Other people have such stupid problems,” he says, irked, resentful. “I just cut it with scissors at home.”
“Yeah, man, I can tell. They wash your hair at the hairdresser though, so I wanna go now.”
“You really hang out with them? What do you even talk about?”
You shrug, pulling out a cigarette and then the hideous lighter. The smoke will waft by his nose again and irritate him. It’s unpleasant. The smell he associates with you is unpleasant, but it’s also yours so it’s kind of conflicting. “Recently I’ve been telling them I’m a ghost from the forest.”
Kaiser remains unamused the way you’ve always known him, but after some contemplation graces you with a snort, which makes you smile in return. He asks, “They don’t believe that. Right?”
“Maybe. They’ve got a what-do-you-call-it… You like football, don’t you?”
“A pitch.” He rolls his eyes as if forgetting the word is some kind of crime. Back he goes to frowning.
“Yea, they have that. You should sneak in with me sometime.” You shrug again as if the suggestion isn’t a big deal. “It’s fun.”
His nose scrunches at the thought, forehead wrinkling. It pisses him off just imagining it — truly a sickening concept. Why would you subject yourself to such a thing? Mingling with children who have nice things and an education and clean clothes and probably eat proper meals every night with their families. He doesn’t want to exchange pleasantries with people who can afford to concern themselves with social suicide. Stomach twisted in knots, Kaiser almost hurls, but somehow swallows the bile back down.
“Never,” he denies with finality.
“So dramatic, Micha.”
“Like you’re any better. You don’t care about anything. At all.”
At the sound of his tone getting more sulky than usual, you decide to spare him another glance. “Aww, are you tearing up?”
“No,” Kaiser lies, lips wavering. Unable to hold it in yet desperate to hide, he settles for covering his face with his hands, folding over himself. “I just fucking… hate this place. And I want out so… so bad.” Aside from the muffled sobs, there are also voice cracks littering his admission.
The thing is: you don’t really know what to do to make it all better.
___
Kaiser feels like he’s about to get a cramp from keeping his leg in this position for so long, lifted up and extended. Recently he stole a pair of sneakers from the thrift store, but the soles ended up falling off. Now you’re lathering everything in glue and wrapping it in tape in an attempt to salvage the situation.
“I’m not sure this is how it works,” he says. It’s kind of meek — a pathetic mumble — but you can recognize unwarranted criticism when you hear it.
“Take it or leave it.” You snap off the tape and move onto the next shoe.
When a snarky or otherwise offensive response doesn’t immediately come to mind, Kaiser resigns to silence. He continues observing you while you squeeze out copious amounts of glue. For a moment the only noises between you are those of your sniffles, the obnoxious huffing in of snot.
A few raindrops pour down, pelting your heads at the same time. You hiss when you realize your hard work is about to go to waste while all Kaiser provides in terms of reaction is a blink and a downwards twist of his lips.
“I don’t wanna go home,” you say, sounding distant, which he doesn’t hear from you much — usually there’s a lilt of amusement in your tone, some kind of playfulness lingering in all your words.
“I don’t either. It’s pointless anyway because you’ll get drenched by the time you go home and then there’s nothing to dry yourself with properly and it’s all one huge pain in the ass.”
“Right.” After signaling your agreement with his assessment, you shrug off your hoodie and stretch, trying to drape it enough so that it shields the two of you from the rain. Kaiser accommodates your goodwill by adjusting his position, scooting over next to you and cramming so he’s taking as little space as possible. It’s not an adequate cover by any means and you can tell his shoes will break apart again. But Kaiser is hugging you around the waist, resting his cheek against your neck, and you don’t have to deal with being at your place yet, so it can’t be all that bad.
___
“You look like a pufferfish,” you say unhelpfully.
Kaiser narrows his eyes at you in that way he tends to do which you haven’t seen anyone else replicate exactly. It’s kind of amusing when he does that, especially when one of them is irritated and droopy. “And you look like a spoiled apple.”
“Don’t mind. It’s a lot of bad things happening to me in that house.”
“I know,” says Kaiser.
You rub your cheek and then some more under your eye where the spots are the brightest. It makes him wince because your hands must be dirty, what with everything you two get up to in a day. Since Kaiser’s father strangles him, he’s always swollen and not so much bruised, but he thinks your parents must only leave it at punches while making up for it with enthusiasm. “I kinda like touching them when some time passes.”
“You’re sick.”
“Honestly I was, but it went away. I think I might have an ingrown toenail though.”
“No… I mean in the head.” To emphasize his point, Kaiser reaches out to probe your temple with his index finger. There’s another scratch blooming there, only coming to attention once his focus lands there, but it’s a waste of energy fixating on any of the small ones — he just can’t help but notice sometimes. “By the way, I don’t need to know what kind of toenail you have.”
You laugh, apparently finding his remark funny somehow. Then you reel your hand back before bringing it back down quickly as if you’re about to slap him. Still retaining his common sense, Kaiser flinches and tries to defend himself with his forearm. The reflex is foreign since he usually takes it lying down without moving an inch when it’s his dad.
His reaction makes you laugh harder for some reason, and you don’t smack him at all. Kaiser glares at you for your unfunny prank but you disregard it. Your hands settle around his throat instead, lightly tracing over the purple fingerprints, still fresh from last night. Almost immediately he clenches his teeth, tightlipped, breaking out into a sweat, expecting a harsh squeeze which never comes.
Kaiser wants to scold you for your idiotic behavior, yet he doesn’t. Maybe your hands aren’t for harm, he decides. And then he reaches out too, pressing his knuckle against the darkest contusion on your face. Your eye twitches closed. It turns into a strange fascination then, your skin touching his and his touching yours in places others had hurt. A ritualistic erasement.
___
You’re splitting the money again after selling off another valuable. It was some kind of fancy watch you two stole this time, more ballsy than usual. Once you pocket your share, you ask, “Are you saving up?”
“Yeah.”
“You wanna move? Where?”
Kaiser shrugs. “I don’t care. Anywhere but here.”
You hum and walk ahead of him, probably looking for one of the drinking fountains in the area.
Either compelled by unusual curiosity or bothered by your silence, he says, “You wanna make it the fuck out of here too. Where would you go?”
“To the beach.”
Kaiser rolls his eyes behind your back, finding your answer stupid. Sure, the beach is an exotic idea considering he has never been to one, but all he can imagine is the sand sticking to his skin and the gross seaweed he’s seen in commercials inside stores and such. But on second thought both of these things are probably way less gross than the environment he spends every day in. He lets out a performative huff anyway and says ‘huh’ as if to demand an elaboration.
“I wanna be free like one of those seagulls that fly over the sea. D’you wanna be a seagull with me, Micha?”
“No. That’s dumb,” he says. You ignore him. Kaiser steels his nerves for a second and, after a dry swallow, takes a step so that he’s walking next to you rather than lagging behind. Then he brushes his fingers against yours lightly before making a sweaty, half hearted attempt at holding your hand. His cheeks are warm in a way he hasn’t felt them before. “Take me to your shitty beach someday.”
You make a more competent attempt at hand holding, grasping his fingers in yours until they’re interlacing, and then you swing your arms up and down. Kaiser has enough sense to be embarrassed by this, but doesn’t tell you to stop. He doesn’t know why, but this is the kind of contact he feels the need to savor. “So you do want to be a seagull.”
“Not interested.”
“You’re such a sourpuss, Micha, never playing along with anything.”
“It’s not my fault you make it sound dumb- Well, do you think it’s any use? Hoping for something like that…”
“Don’t tell me you’re giving up.”
“I won’t give up,” he says. “I just don’t know if it’ll work.”
“Come on. We’re gonna get out of here together someday. That’s gotta work.” You lift his arm in the air next and try to make him spin like a dancer. Though Kaiser is used to standing still and limp and letting things happen to him, the attempt doesn’t come out successful. At most he does a slight twist.
“Yeah. Together,” he agrees, like a promise. He imagines messing around with you in the sand with the sun warming his skin in contrast to the perpetual chill he’s become used to. Honestly despite belittling the idea earlier, it doesn’t seem so bad in his mind.
___
Kaiser yawns while sitting next to you on a bench, eating a burger. Since you’re famous for your generosity and kindness and all (not), you decided to ‘splurge out’ by buying food for you both from some shitty hole in the wall. It’s the most filling meal you’ve had in a while. You’re still chewing when you ask, “Are you tired or something?”
He rubs his eyes. “My father was fucking making noises throwing up all night.”
“Ah, your worthless sperm donor.” You nod sagely in acknowledgement.
“Yea, him. It reeked too and when I went to clean it, there were whole chunks in his vomit.”
You scoff. “Don’t clean after him.”
“Not like anyone’s going to clean it if I don’t.” Two more yawns accentuate his sentence. You reach out to throw away the container. For a second you consider keeping the plastic cutlery and maybe washing it at the drinking fountain later, but that seems too desperate even for you. Kaiser says, “I’d take a nap right now if I could, but I don’t want to go back yet.”
“It’s sunny today for the first time in a while. Would be a waste.” You watch Kaiser while he wipes his mouth and his fingers with the napkin. The dark circles around his eyes are worse than usual. “You can lie down on me and sleep if you want.”
“Huh? Really?”
“Yea, it’ll probably be really boring, but I’ll tolerate it,” you allow, ever so charitable.
Kaiser frowns, contemplating. He’s silent for so long, you forget you even suggested anything, but he eventually shifts around and rests his head on your lap, tense. You rake your fingers through his hair. “Don’t smoke,” he warns, but it’s kind of difficult to act butthurt when you’re being so… gentle with him.
“I won’t.”
“Seriously, don’t smoke right now.”
“I said ok already.”
Now that the matter is settled, he decides to trust you and flutters his eyes closed. Though your thighs and the bench aren’t the most comfortable places in the world, to Kaiser who only knows the cold hard floor, such an opportunity is borderline luxurious. The tang of the cigarettes clings even to the fabric of your pants, to your fingers — his favorite smell. You continue stroking his scalp and he dozes off with ease within minutes. Even though he’s snoring already, he moves to wrap his arms around your knee as if he feels a compulsive need to hold onto something in his sleep.
Kaiser looks surprisingly peaceful and precious right now. You hope he’s having a nice dream if any. A long stretch of ennui is ahead of you.
___
The antics have been ramping up as of late. In your defense, you weren’t sure how you were supposed to resist urging Kaiser to break in with you when you noticed the house with the open first floor window, clearly vacant. Though at first he displayed kleptomaniacal tendencies and wanted to rummage through the drawers for anything expensive, you deemed it too risky since you had no idea when the owner would come back. And then you told him you were merely interested in taking a proper shower.
Now you’re almost dry, waiting for Kaiser to finish. You can’t remember the last time you were so free of grime. Wearing the old clothes again almost feels shameful, like a step back. You sniff your armpit like a weirdo and realize your skin smells good .
Kaiser takes a while to come out and emerges looking like he underwent some kind of magical girl transformation. He’s trying to soak up the water from his hair with a towel, sending specks flying everywhere and dripping down his shirt when you blurt out, “You’re handsome.”
In a fashion you’d consider comedic, he stops dead in his tracks to gape at you with flushed cheeks. “What?”
“Your face is pretty.” He blinks. A crease appears on his forehead in apparent disapproval, though you’re not sure what he’s mad about (it’s a compliment!), especially when he’s still blushing. You make a vague hand gesture near your head to clarify your next point, “Try untangling it with your fingers.”
It takes Kaiser a good few seconds to get with the program before he twitches to attempt and follow your advice, but you both freeze when you detect the unmistakable sound of a door closing and locking downstairs. You push him back into the bathroom and close it behind yourself as gently as possible. Then you drag him back to the tub and gesticulate incomprehensibly some more to signal you should both get in and hide before sliding in behind the curtain and reclining on your side. Kaiser follows after you, but you think you might be doomed. It’s still wet, too, which is unpleasant, but not a priority considering the upcoming disaster.
Kaiser opens his mouth to speak, so you clamp it shut with your palm before putting your index finger over your lips. He embraces you, and he’s trembling, and then he hides in your neck as if you’re going to save him from whatever is about to come.
Like you’d assumed, the house owner enters almost immediately. You’re nauseous, stomach clenching. Kaiser is making a stunning impression of a corpse the way he’s not even breathing anymore in his attempt at being quiet. Your muscles are so tense on alert that it hurts and each passing second puts you more on edge.
Thankfully the flush comes and then the running water and then the person leaves with a click. Their footsteps get fainter and fainter until another door opens and closes. You stand and step out, trying not to make a noise still. Before going out into the hallway you throw a glance over your shoulder just to make sure Kaiser is still walking behind you, which he is.
Your movements are slow and light. The escape, especially while making your way down the stairs, is drawn out and excruciating. You hop out through the window you came in from. There you are outside, somehow without incident.
You turn to look at Kaiser again once you hear the rustle of the grass accompanying his jump. With the adrenaline still kicking, you break out into a sprint, eager to get far away. Kaiser catches up to you and you burst out laughing but you’re not even sure why, since you don’t find any of what transpired particularly amusing. A slight smile appears on his face when he recognizes the sound.
___
The next day you notice Kaiser isn’t at the playground, even though he always gets there before you do. No biggie — you can exert some patience.
After a while you start tapping your foot. It’s not like you have a watch to check what the time is or how long it’s been or a phone to ask him where he’s at. So you settle on putting on a show of irritability.
Nothing. Your legs hurt so you go sit down on the swing. You’re getting pretty old for the playground anyway, you think as you pull out a cigarette and light it, eyes darting around. Parents and their children, but no sign of Micha.
You exceed your usual three and end up burning half the pack in your attempt to occupy yourself during your waiting. It relaxes you usually, smoking, when you have a lot of shit juggling around your brain, but it doesn’t work this time.
Did something happen?
… Did his dad finally kill him?
___
Kaiser doesn’t show up at the playground ever again no matter how many times you go.
___
It’s another day where you need to shield your eyes from the sunlight with your hand. You’ve been seeing more of those since you ran away. Must be allegorical or some shit.
From your peripheral vision, while you walk down the street, you pass by a store that has one of those TVs on display, playing a sports game. You spare a moment to look, intrigued, nostalgic in a way — it reminds you of when you were little, when that kind of thing was more common.
They’re playing football, you realize, and you find that evocative too. Some guy scores a goal and they zoom in on him even though he’s not celebrating, instead choosing to stand there like a statue with his arms crossed. Like he’s too cool to get excited, which strikes you as obnoxious.
Then they show his face in full, up front.
You know that face. You’d recognize that face anywhere.
The back of his jersey reads ‘Kaiser’ and yet you never knew him as anything besides his first name.
At first you’re relieved considering you were under the impression catastrophe must’ve befallen him, but the solace doesn’t last long. When the realization hits, your eyes widen and your lips fall into a thin line. It's similar to a punch in the gut how all the air seems to vacate your chest. All this wind around you and you can’t get any.
The only person you ever loved left you behind without a second glance in your direction.
___
II.
Michael Kaiser is mildly inconvenienced. Billions injured on the scene and millions more will die.
So maybe he’s been ranting at someone who he didn’t even glance at, eyes closed, mind way too lost in his reverie. A part of his brain doesn’t even comprehend he’s in fact speaking to a person instead of a cardboard cutout. It’s to his complete shock and bafflement when after so much babbling he receives a reply. “Hey, Mr. Kaiser was it? Shut the fuck up.”
He flutters his eyes open to give the ingrate a glare and speak his mind some more, but he freezes on the spot at the sight in front of him. His blood runs cold, heart stuttering in his chest.
He’d know that face anywhere, even if right now it’s more unamused and neutral — nothing like the expressions in his memories. He’s not sure why his body is reacting like this either, tensing up with a nervous jitter in his system.
Wasn’t he supposed to have left all that stuff in the past? Yet a single look at you is enough to cause this response: this uncertainty, like he’s still a little boy who veers towards hopeless and incompetent, and fuck, why are you giving him such a dead stare?
Do you not recognize him?
Do you not love him anymore?
It’s a rash thing to focus on as his immediate concern especially when he hasn’t been killing himself with worry over you or anything during your years apart, but right now when you’re in front of him it’s all he wants to know. Which is cruel and selfish in a way, in his specific Kaiser-ish way, how he’s first preoccupied with himself before he wonders about your state of mind or living situation. A need to bait for a sign you still care about him torments him even if it might be drastic right off the bat.
When no ingenious idea for such a thing comes to mind and Kaiser realizes he’s been staring at you like a moron, he says, “Don’t call me Mr. Kaiser. It makes me sound old and decrepit.” And that isn’t what you of all people should be referring to him as.
You continue assessing him in a manner which can be described as judgmental at best. “Isn’t that what you said your name is during your little monologue?”
“You already know what my name is.” The awkward silence which follows is almost unbearable. Kaiser scratches himself on the neck even though he’s not itchy just to pass the time. Finally he snaps, “Aren’t you happy to see me?”
“Sorry to break it to you, sir, but most employees anywhere aren’t happy to listen to ten minute long demented tirades about non-problems.”
“Well maybe I overreacted a little,” concedes Kaiser and gives you what he thinks is a suave smile in an attempt at downplaying how uneasy he is. He thinks you can feel it. He thinks you’re doing it on purpose, hurting him with intention. “Are you seriously going to act like you don’t know me?”
Your pitiless gaze sticks to him like glue even when you take out the ice cubes and throw a generous amount into his drink before sticking a paper parasol in it with lots of spite, which is what the big stink he threw a tantrum over was all about. Kaiser wants to tell you that you’re very hot when you’re no longer a starving punching bag, but thinks better of it. Doesn’t seem charming even coming from him.
“There.” You slide the cup across the counter towards him. “I fixed your shitty smoothie.”
“It’s not a smoothie!”
“A mocktail is basically juice.”
Wrapping his fingers around it, Kaiser doesn’t leave. Instead he chooses to stay and observe you in silence, jaw clenching.
“You can go.”
“I’m not going until you admit you know who I am.”
“What, are you famous or something?” you ask, bemused.
Kaiser is on the cusp of hypertension because you’re doing it on purpose and you’re not even doing it well because you want him perfectly aware of what you’re up to. You’ve never done this — hurt him before, let alone by design — so Kaiser almost assumed you were incapable of it. Though it makes sense that you are. After all, you’re the same type of inhuman he is, and he’s done this if not worse hundreds of times, and even reveled in it. Yet the realization you’re not what he remembers of you stirs disillusionment within him. The nature of it, he doesn’t quite grasp.
Kaiser contemplates causing a scene more than he already has, but he’s not sure how to do so while still getting what he wants. Trying to joke even though above all he wants to throw a tantrum, he whines, “You’re so immature.”
“I’m sorry that my reaction to getting threatened with a lawsuit over ice cubes was immature, Mr. Kaiser.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about!”
Your exterior remains listless and vacant, and Kaiser wants to scream the longer you scrutinize him in this manner. Eventually you spin your finger near your temple as if to call him delusional, then move onto taking the order of someone else.
His eyes narrow until you’re so blurry he can barely see you, perhaps either to censor you from his sight or because a milder expression wouldn’t suffice in communicating his disdain. With a final grit of his teeth and maybe a visible vein on his forehead, Kaiser stands up to leave. Fine. You win this one, but it’s war now.
The scorch of the sand under his feet startles him. He kind of forgot how hot it was, what with getting so distracted. Another comeuppance on a list of many. Today is punishment.
Dramatic inner soliloquy aside, Kaiser makes it back to the beach bed quickly, still reeling over that interaction. You’re here? You’re here, in front of him again, and apparently you’re not too happy to see him.
In the most disinterested tone he can muster, Sae asks, “Did they fix your smoothie?”
“It’s not a fucking smoothie!” With the grace of a lobotomized koala, Kaiser drops it over the small table separating them and barely resists the urge to hurl it at Sae. This would do wonders for his mental health short term, but again he’s trying to feign decorum.
With his trademark deadpan, Sae pretends none of that just happened. Kaiser turns around to look back at the hotel bar where you’re gesticulating at your coworker. Both of you seem immensely annoyed, wild and animated while you converse.
“Fuck, they’re totally complaining about me.”
Sae follows the line of direction through which Kaiser is stalking you. After a few seconds of analysis, he says, “Those are definitely the ‘this shit stain just threatened to sue me,’ ‘wow, really, what the hell’ faces.”
Kaiser snaps his head to look at him with genuine surprise. “What- How’d you know?”
“... You’re so embarrassing, it’s predictable.”
“And you’re annoying,” he says. “I’ll tell Coach to get rid of you and airdrop me Ness.”
“It’s cute that you think the coach cares about your opinion on me enough to replace me. The same as thinking the strippers at the club like you, in a way.”
There is a while of silence where Kaiser’s just snarling while Sae seems like he couldn’t give less of a shit. Then he adds his finisher,
“Or I guess in your case it’s like thinking the bartender actually cares about your order.”
Oh, fuck this vacation.
___
The heat is unbearable.
You step out into the sun and saunter up the wooden path to take your break away from the beach. Sweat has been exuding from your skin for the last few hours. Even so when you make it to the sidewalk, you keep your eyes trained on the scenery as you trudge on to your destination. The sand, the sea, the plants — some natural and some artificial.
Before long your legs take you to your usual street vendor, where you’ll order a shitty pancake that won’t do much to nourish you, but it’ll be so sweet that you’ll be too nauseous to get hungry for a while. The queue isn’t unbearable.
Not until you sense someone hovering behind you, followed up by a hand settling on your shoulder. You turn around to grace the offender with a disgusted side glance, but you’re so baffled to see Kaiser there, you just… freeze.
He’s sneering at you. In fact he looks so happy with himself, you want to vomit. Preferably on him.
“What a coincidence,” he says without even a sliver of shame.
You roll your eyes and face front again, deciding it’s in your best interest to feign ignorance to his existence. Taking this as a sign to elevate the antics to a more obnoxious level, Kaiser resigns himself to the role of one of those domesticated leeches, hanging off you now, fully wrapping his arm around your shoulders. His gaze is burning into your side profile to the point it’s unnerving and you can feel the artificial smugness emanating from his form.
“I thought we were done talking yesterday.”
“Really? You did? How naive,” he coos at you mockingly.
It is convenient that during this time of need — when you’re lacking a good comeback — your time to order comes up. You talk to the guy working about your aforementioned shitty pancake. The moment you shut your mouth, however, Kaiser starts listing off things you’re not even keeping track of like you’re hanging out together or something.
With a mild dispute over whether it’s ‘backwards’ that they do not accept payment through a card, which makes you want to die because you’re a regular here and now the employee who knows you by face will associate you with this pest, Kaiser pays for your thing, too. On the one hand you’re prideful, but on the other you’ve lived the life of a bottomfeeder who takes every scrap they’re given without question, and it’s the kind of conditioning you can’t let go of. So you allow it.
He ends up with an inordinate amount of food in his hands, too much for one person to eat. You’re still doing your ignoring shtick even when Kaiser pulls you down to sit next to him on the table. Content with pretending he doesn’t exist as he is dead to you, you bite onto your food in relative peace, mind drifting somewhere else. Until he speaks that is. “This must be our fateful meeting.”
“I don’t see what’s so fateful about it if you followed me?”
Unbeknownst to you, Kaiser too is adept at the ‘hearing only what he wants to hear’ game. So he moves on with the conversation without any indicator of comprehending what you just said. “I think it’s quite ironic, actually.”
“What are you on about now?”
“You told me you want to go to the beach once. And where do I find you? On the beach. It's an astral influence, I’m sure.”
“Ah? I don’t remember telling you that.”
You’re blinking at him in mild confusion. This hurts Kaiser a hundred times more than when you were deliberately going out of your way to act dismissive of him because he can tell you mean it. To think one of the moments he clung onto the most had slipped your mind.
His eyes are wide and his lips stand still in a thin line, so he forces himself to smirk again and glosses over the information which just shattered him. “So you admit you know me then?”
“No, Mr. Kaiser, I have no idea who you are. I’m thinking you should admit yourself to a hospital. They say false memories are an important symptom in psychopathology.”
“Very funny. I prefer Micha or at least Michael, though.”
“Do I give a fuck?”
He scowls at you. “Yes.”
You finish off your pancake and wipe your hands with the napkin in mild disgust. Kaiser laughs at the wrinkle of your face while you do so, and then he scoots an inch closer.
“Help me finish it all off.” He gestures at all the paper plates.
Pinching between your fingers, you tug the first thing that seems appetizing closer to your side of the table. Kaiser scoops up some of the portion for himself and dumps it in another meal. You ask, “Why are you trying to suck up to me?”
“Aw, is it so wrong to want to treat my closest friend?”
You scoff. The movement of your eyelids fascinates Kaiser — you never really showed any annoyance towards him before, so he finds these expressions of distaste fascinating even if they make him sick. “We haven’t seen each other in four years, so if I’m still your closest friend somehow, that’s just sad. Be for real if you’re gonna be anything.”
“You’re being so difficult! What did I even do?!” To be honest, he’s lying and his gaze isn’t even shying away from you while he’s lying, not even a twitch. He knows you, so he knows that you’re mad he couldn’t be assed to tell you where he went even though he obviously could. He thinks playing dumb might be more in his favor here, though, so he’ll do that. “I don’t even like going to the fucking beach. I’ve been going every year to different places searching for you.”
The unbridled perturbation on your face upon hearing this is quite amusing. Priceless even. You were calling him crazy merely for the sake of fucking with him, and perhaps it was your earnest attempt at gaslighting him but you’re not about to admit it. Right now, though, you think he is genuinely insane.
“You’re saying that to appease me,” you accuse, hoping you’re correct, but also not. The idea he might’ve thought about you like you did about him while you were separated enthralls you, though you can’t let him win you over his bullshit.
“Maybe,” says Kaiser, trying to be mysterious.
Since he obviously wants you to ask him for an elaboration, you deny him the satisfaction.
“How much do you make working at that shitty bar?”
“Enough.”
“I should take you back to Spain with me,” Kaiser decides. With too much confidence at that. “You’d have anything you could ever want.”
It is not like it was before. He’s not acting the way he used to. You suppose you aren’t either. But anyway, you thought it inconceivable that he would ever joke — is he joking? — or make the absurd statements he’s been making. It’s natural, in a way, since you’re also not of the same temperament as before.
With a huff, you say, “You’ll never be my sugar daddy, Kaiser.”
“You’re no fun nowadays.” There’s an amused lilt in his tone while he sneers — you think the way he smiles is fake. You recall he was kind of quiet and awkward and stilted, unnatural at first maybe because he was out of practice in communicating with others, but now he speaks with insincere charisma, like a showman. Yet still the things he says so casually are off-kilter, ruining whatever illusion he’s attempting to sell. “And I said to call me Micha.”
“I don’t need to call you anything.”
It’s all about the metamorphosis. It’s about becoming each other so you’re never truly apart.
___
You’re crouching under one of the tropical trees overlooking the road, by the wooden path leading down the beach. The shade is insufficient and the soles of your feet digging into your ass to the point it hurts. Before your break, the thought of smoking a cigarette had entered your brain so you obeyed it as it was too pervasive even though you don’t enjoy lighting up anything during such weather, believe it or not.
Your eyes are glossy since you’re spacing out, taking puffs. When two silhouettes come to a halt right in front you, only then does the absentminded trance end.
Kaiser waves at you with unnecessary enthusiasm which is just for show. They’re late, arriving way past their usual time. Earlier when he and his companion didn’t show when you expected them to, you assumed maybe their vacation ended and they’d headed home.
The other guy is sullen, but at least his eye lashes are long, which must count for something. After sparing you a glance, he turns towards Kaiser and says judgmentally, “You’re still harassing staff.”
“I’m not har-”
Not giving a shit, the other guy straight up leaves, not bothering to participate in the discussion on a topic he brought up. You watch in mild bafflement as he walks off without a care.
“Ignore him,” Kaiser says. A plastic smile overtakes his face before he squats down next to you, butting into your body with his and almost toppling you over. This is probably bad for his knees, and you’re half exposed to the sun now. Somehow he has created several problems where there were none. “You still smoke.”
You don’t reply, but maintain the common decency not to blow any in his face. He should stay away from you. Isn’t he an athlete? Shouldn’t he be cautious about secondhand smoke? You consider putting it out altogether, then, so you stub it in the almost empty can of the fizzy drink you’d been drinking earlier.
“What kind of lighter do you have now? Has your taste gotten any better?”
No response again. He places an arm around your waist. Through touching you so often it’s like he’s trying to hammer it into your head that you were close, and yet intangible things seem to evade Kaiser, so maybe he’s struggling to conceive of any other way to reestablish your connection.
“You still smell the same. Like nicotine.”
“Well, you smell the way you used to, too.”
The space between his brows wrinkles and his nose twitches in irritation at your words. “The fuck do you mean? No, I don’t.”
“Let me spell it out for you in a way we both understand.” For the first time since your strange reunion, you reciprocate the physicality and pull him in by the shoulder till you’re forehead to forehead so you can look him in the eyes while explaining. “When I saw you a few days ago for the first time in so long, it was like you basically still had a sign that says ‘broke ass bum.’”
He gapes at you with incredulity, this offended expression on his face.
“I mean,” you say, snickering in bewilderment at the absurdity of his previous actions, “you were gonna sue me over some ice cubes, really? Acting like a spoiled little prince to disguise where you crawled out from? I think you and I have got the kinda stench not even all the Dior in Avenue Montaigne can wipe off.”
His fingers would’ve dug hard into your flesh if your shirt wasn’t in the way with how his grip tightens in response. The grit of his teeth exposes more of them. Strangely, you think he has nice gums. “Why the fuck are you being like this?”
“‘Cause you were content to forget all about me, but you don’t want me to be angry at you either. You should’ve just been polite and pretended you didn’t recognize me. But no, you want it all. I hate people like you who make no sense.”
“You’re just jealous,” Kaiser accuses, trying the snobby angle. If he’s pretentious then he’s not hurt by you claiming you despise him. At least that’s what he settles on.
“Sure. That could be true as well.” You stand up and take the can with you to throw away.
Kaiser plops down on the sand, tired of squatting, and doesn’t bother watching you plod back to the bar but the sound of your footsteps rings heavy in his ears until it dissipates. He hugs his knees like the wet wipe he is at heart.
The kindest person he’d known was a scammer and a liar and a thief and who knows what else. It hurts like nothing else to bear the weight of your desertion.
This must be cellular rejection. You should’ve been ecstatic to see him on account of your shared inhumanity. Does it not matter to you anymore, the fact that you and Kaiser are the same?
… Right; you’re not the ball. When he hits you, you can hit him back.
___
The beach is desolate and eerie at night. Kaiser came out to brood, which was fine because Sae didn’t care to ask him where he was going when he left the room. Unlike during the day, the sand is cool under his feet now — what an obtuse observation to make, all things considered. He’s annoyed and frustrated at himself as usual when things don’t go his way.
There’s a light illuminating someone’s face where they recline on one of the lounge chairs. It’s blue, meaning the source is a phone. Kaiser startles because he assumed he was alone.
And you startle when you see him staring at you in the dark, but instead of screaming all you do is let out an unconvincing gasp and turn on the backlight to reveal him. Kaiser covers his eyes with his forearms and turns away, letting out some vampiric kind of noise.
Then you frown and go back to tapping away on your shitty mobile game. “You’re such a creep honestly,” you say in distaste.
Once he gets over the assault you just committed on his admittedly sensitive eyes, Kaiser sits down next to you uninvited.
“It’s a coincidence,” he snaps. “I don’t want to be around you either. You’re so fucking exhausting. Can’t talk to you like a normal person at all because of your stupid grudge.”
“Then why are you still trying?”
Of course, there are many answers to that question. Some including but not limited to I think I can still love you like before and I miss you and I regret not sending you that postcard and I hate how you’re mad at me, but I can’t seem to get it right. Though such pathetic things aren’t in Kaiser’s nature to spew, so they never make it past his throat. The words constrict around his neck like a noose.
Instead of answering, he says, “You’ve got a phone now. You should give me your number.”
“No.”
“You’re just trying to make my life difficult for no reason!”
You give him another one of your blank stares. In the dullness of the night, obviously the gesture stays meaningless, though Kaiser can sense the bemusement in your silence at least.
Seeing that ignoring the problem at large isn’t turning out to be the winning move, Kaiser sighs and tries to think of what to say. There’s probably some kind of trick to this, some way he could fool you into overlooking his transgressions. Though when you were friends, he never did that to you, and you never left him then. Maybe it’s not necessary. In this situation, it’s proving to even be detrimental.
Kaiser picks at the skin on his neck. It’s to his benefit you can’t see each other well — he’s not sure he’d be able to spit it out without the detachment of the environment. “Listen, I’m not good at this shit, but… If I have to be honest, I was really paranoid. I didn’t want to think about the past and I didn’t want to get dragged back into it, so I was too scared to even write you a letter to tell you I’m fine. But stumbling on you again, it’s probably fucking stupid but I don’t want to lose track of you anymore. It’s lonely.”
“I wasted a year of my life thinking you were dead,” you say.
“I’m sorry.”
“Tomorrow’s my free day.”
There’s an uncertain excitement in Kaiser now, as if you might be yanking his chain and he doesn’t want to commit to the feeling right away. “Sure, I’m leaving after tomorrow, so that works. Meet me here and we can catch up.”
“I see this shitty beach enough as it is,” you say.
“Yeah, but not the way you’re supposed to.”
You shrug.
Without prompting or any indication that you care, Kaiser says, “I have a horrible sunburn.” He will always find something to bitch about. It’s like he’s never satisfied.
After a few swipes, you unlock your phone and pass it to him so he can add his contact information. “Then use aloe vera or something. What are you, stupid?”
“I don’t have any,” justifies Kaiser, inputting the digits. His tone is defensive because this is the first he’s heard of it, but it’s not like he’ll admit that.
Your forgiveness is fake, in a way. It’d been a grudge you held for a while and a betrayal you wouldn’t tolerate from anyone else. Maybe you’ll hold it over his head if he displeases you. So it’s not real forgiveness, is it, more so a lenience, a testament to your past, that your love for him somehow prevails over your need to enact the lex talionis.
___
The sand sinks under your weight with each step you take, waves lapping over the shoreline, seagulls and children squealing in the background. Sunset makes everything easier on the eyes and the heat is finally settling down since it’s getting late into the afternoon.
You had a nice time catching up with Kaiser in another part of the city, although he displayed a susceptibility to tourist traps. He gloated a lot, and you pretended you didn’t know about half of it from reading his Wikipedia page that one time when you were fostering your hate boner for him. You told him about how you ran away and ended up in another country and about how you’re still on the missing persons site.
Now you’re going back by the seaside instead of through the streets. You walk side by side, your ankles touching the water. Kaiser’s grin is wide, which makes him seem smug, but this time it doesn’t strike you as forced so maybe he is simply carefree. It’s an unusual sight for you — Kaiser, genuinely smiling.
“I think I’ll come see you again when it’s off season. Or maybe we can arrange for you to come visit me instead. I’ve got all sorts of things I want to show you,” he says. He never really had anything to give you before, and now he takes pride in having the means to do so, regardless of whether you’re interested or impressed.
“Whatever, Micha. You’re so full of it. I bet it’ll be lame or you’ll forget you promised.”
He remains pleased despite the teasing, even happier if possible. “It’s fine if you say pointless shit like that, I don’t mind a challenge. All I have to do is prove you wrong.”
___
Lol at the end of finishing this I teared up in Frustration because I couldn't write this the way I envisioned it and then I couldn't save it through editing either (<- guy who's defiinitely normal and casual ) and I kinda just wanted to be done with it so I'm not gonna hold it hostage any longer either. Idk I'm just mad and depressed about it rn i guess. Thank U all for tapping in
hihi! I was wondering if you could one with an s/o a bit more colder but softer with them specifically. Maybe sae, yoichi, rin, and hiori. Thanks!!!1 :33
(pls take your time with this)
cold to other but softer with them s/o - sae, yoichi, rin, hiori
m.list | rules | requests open
Note: hiiii thank you for your request! It's so cute I love this vibe and honestly same I'm only nice to me gf 🧍♀️ I hope it's fine !

Sae
You're a killer duo honestly
You're impossible to approach when it's the two of you, your expression is closed
it doesn't even seems like you're together or close
You keep your relationship private mostly in the beginning but it's a little too much sometimes
People noticed that you two are together based on the small gesture : him taking your hand when it's crowded, you pulling him closer when he doesn't look where he walks
But people are choked when they pass from seeing without and with sae around
The way your face light up when you see him around is something, you go from a darker look to sparkling eyes in a second
You ask about his day, maybe lay a little on him if he's sitting next to you
Then go back to your usual neutral/cold face
Those who don't really know are shocked at first
Yoichi
People don't imagined his s/o to he like that AT ALL
Isagi is really sweet and caring yet the first time they meet you you were frowning at them
They soon realized you're just like this, neutral expression that makes you look rude, and you're not the most gentle with his friends either
But you don't feel like you need to? You don't own them a thing
Isagi is always a bit sorry when you ignore people but always answer to him with a sweet voice
You lay your head on his shoulder, only paying attention for real when he's talking
He feels loves for sure but he tries to ease this side of you around people he really appreciate
Rin
He kinda likes it
He feels seen and really appreciate for some reasons
There's a small grin or blush on his face when he realized that your tone soften for him during a conversation
He does it for you as well, it's an habits for you two
It's your world and people live in it kind of vibe
There's nothing weird with you two being together, it's like heaven send you to him and vice versa
You two are : unapproachable
Hiori
Once again, a little surprising but not as shocking as yoichi when you know him a little
Hiori is harsher than people think but he also need someone prioritizing him because of his relationship with his parents
No need to say that he feels like he's the most precious human in the world with you
He can't help but giggle when he sens your tone changed when you talk to people interrupting you
You're not a smiley person yet he always get to see your face lighting up when you catch his sight
The way you lay on against his chest in the street when you have to wait or even hold his fingers when you're looking at your phone instead of the road
He loves every little things that you do and when there's somebody with you, they're always surprised to see you this comfortable around someone

I hope you liked it !
Reblog are appreciated ♡
