Well, I Did It, He Thinks As He Brews Himself A Strong Coffee. He Takes His Book And Goes To His Chair

Well, I did it, he thinks as he brews himself a strong coffee. He takes his book and goes to his chair when one of the first rays of sunlight reaches him. He got over the dark mood and his heavy depression, and now he has something like hope.

It can only get better, he thinks and looks out of the window.

After some time Sev gets himself a second coffee, puts his book aside and pulls a parchment, quill and ink towards him.

It is the first time, that he really feels like that he has to leave Hogwarts forever. To many bad memories rest here, all around him is still the presence of Dumbledore. And to heal he must leave, otherwise he would drown in destroying feelings and deeper depressions than before.

But how can I explain this whole thing to Minerva?, he wonders. Just be honest, that's the best way.

And then he writes down his quitting.

Die ach so besinnliche Zeit hinter mich gebracht. Und letztlich war es gar nicht so schlimm. Vielleicht nicht perfekt, aber das bin ich ja auch nicht. Jetzt geht es endlich zurück zu gewohnten Abläufen, zurück zu hörbarer Musik und weg von diesem scheinheiligen Liebe-Friede-Besinnlichkeit-Getue.

Nur noch den Böllern und Raketen, dem Lärm und Gestank aus dem Weg gehen. Dann geht's mir auch wieder gut.

pixiv

#oc [Artfolmas] 1 - Snowy Landscape - Kohaku_Dragonのイラスト - pixiv

Artfolmas 1! Altair and Subaru are enjoying the scenery. ❄️ I attempted to draw a landscape backgrou

Severus, shortly after waking up from his strange dream and with a little duck face. Funny and cute at the same time.

What happened? A wonder?

He still can't believe it, that he is alive. He remembers that the Dark Lord told Nagini to kill him. He was terribly injured, heavy bleeding, felt life leaving him...

But after drifting away, he saw Dumbledore. They didn't talk to each other, he just stood there, nodding slightly, and went away. A voice told Severus, that this was not the end.

Finally he woke up in the hospital wing of Hogwarts. Only the cut of the Dark Lord was left, but no bite marks on his throat. He saw Minerva at his side. She also had no explanation for what really happened.

"But I am very glad to see you alive", she said calmly and smiled. "Potter told us everything. We now know what Dumbledore made you do."

The first time she saw tears in his eyes.

"Severus, it's a second chance for you! Really! Go into the world and enjoy your life! You deserve it."

"I think, I have an idea why I'm alive. Fawkes. Dumbledores phoenix. He returned, but I don't know why. This must be the reason that there are no marks on my skin", he says and Minerva listens.

"Phoenix tears and their healing power. Yes, this could be a good explanation", she answers.

It is a misty morning, when Severus arrives at the Fyrish Monument, he isn't able to see anything of the landscape, but all around him is silence.

He feels depressed, has no idea how to get away from this dark mood. He thinks back, thinks of Lily and her family, and of his own.

To be alone is an ice-cold feeling.

And then he asks himself some questions.

Had Lily had ever feelings for him, like love? No, there was never love...

Had she ever been a real friend?

He is not sure. When he called her accidentally a mudblood, it was because he was in anger. He tried to explain, to excuse his words, but it was her, who said: "I'm not interested. Save your breath!"

Because she thought he wasn't worth it. Not as friend or anything, he was nothing... He was never good enough for her, this was why she dated that idiot James...

There were so many things gone wrong... He should never have joined the Death Eaters... What a mess!

But then he rises his head. He got a second chance - a chance to change himself into a good man.

Than do it! Just do it!, he says to himself.

He hears a noise while he is still in the bathroom. He jumps into his pants, drops of water run from his hair onto his bare shoulders, he holds a towel in his hand. As he slowly walks towards his living room, he doesn't notice anyone.

It seems like he heard the door close. With a shrug, he walks into the room, lays the towel over his wet shoulders and looks around. There is something on the kitchen table. A card, a gift and a muffin with a burning candle.

Happy birthday, Severus!