Rafe Couldn't See That Ward Had Done Something To All Of His Children ; All He Could See Was The Favoritism

𝖨𝗇 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗒 Rafe couldn't see that Ward had done something to all of his children ; all he could see was the favoritism toward Sarah. Even he saw that Wheezie seemed to be overlooked from time to time though it would seem like Rose had her eyes on her at least. Rafe felt like glass. He felt like everyone saw right through him, like he was never there and if he wasn't careful he'd break.

But he cracked, and cracked more and now here he is broken in front of Sarah. Something he's never let her see before because Ward taught him that emotions were not something a man could show anyone. And if he did he was weak, so when Rafe showed him the broken parts -- he'd be told what he was. And then it would be beaten into him both figuratively and literally. Ward has put his hands on Rafe time and time again when no one was looking. A slap across the face, a hard shove knocking him over ... Every time Rafe opted to numb himself it was not only to drown out the voices in his head that could never hold a conversation that wasn't conflicting ; it was to hide the fact just how much it hurt him to know that despite his words of love and suggestions that he does what he does to build character. They didn't build Rafe into anything other than the monster who would hurt his own sister , who longed to just be seen for the things he does right and not the things he does wrong.

Even when he tries to do right he's undermined and told differently.

Sarah reassures him that he's none of those things and her words while they can't fix it all seem to take the pieces and try to put them back together as best as they can possibly be. He looks up to her as tears stream down his cheeks.

He knows she's terrified of him, he's terrified of himself. But that doesn't stop Rafe from moving from his position and grabbing hold of Sarah around the waist and pulling her in to him, his head falling onto his sister's shoulder.

His voice comes out but he sounds so small in the moment, like a child.

❝ I'm so sorry. ❞

ward had done a wonderful job and ruining his children. from it rafe constant need to prove himself to their father in hopes to get a crumb of appreciation or attention to her intense fear of letting someone close in fear of being a disappointment. their father had worked his ass off for the life they had and however grateful sarah was for the things she had and experienced, she also just wanted freedom. the cameron household was a prison and she had escaped, if only leaving rafe and wheezie behind. the lying, the manipulations, the fake death and kidnapping? ward was no longer the father she wanted but the one she hated and wanted nothing to do with. yet, even though rafe had tried to kill her twice now, she still wanted to fix things if given the chance. to get her brother back and not what he had become.

the scene if front of her shatters her heart within seconds. she had never seen rafe so broken. so vulnerable before. at first, she doesn't know what to do. she hasn't seen rafe cry since they were kids. not since the first time she ever heard ward talk down to him and she comforted him afterwards the best she could at that age. rafe had always been strong. unmoving and withstand everything. it had been why people feared him before.

"you were never stupid or weak." sarah finally starts moving towards him, kneeling on the ground and pulling a hand on his arm. treading lightly in fear of doing the wrong thing. she hadn't expected this fight to turn into this and yet here, they were. "dad is an asshole. he's hurt all of is unexplainable ways. what he said, how he treated you, was never your fault. ward was just...." miserable felt like too little. psychotic felt like too much but honestly? "horrible. vile.i don't know." a shake of her head. "i didn't know it got that bad." she really had been wrapped up in her own world. it also didn't help that most of the time ward was berating and beating rafe without witnesses around.

❝ Case and point. ❞ he replies, shrugging his shoulders. He says he's done, and he's not going to fight him on it. But tell him he's wrong ; tell Rafe that Topper wouldn't choose Sarah over him if given the choice and if it was said he'd choose friendship? Rafe wouldn't believe it. Because everyone chooses Sarah.

❝ Guy who what? Come on Top, just say it. ❞

"I'm done arguing with you." He informs Rafe. "I'm done." He's not saying another word on the matter, that's final. No more.

Running a hand over his face in an agonizingly annoyed fashion, Topper lets out a dramatic sigh. "This, coming from the guy who - - -." No. He's not entertaining this bullshit anymore.

𝖧𝖾 𝖽𝗈𝖾𝗇𝗌'𝗍 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗂𝗍 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗍𝖾𝖽, maybe when he started self-medicating with cocaine to silence the voices in his head, to focus on being the son that their father wanted instead of the one he got. And yet even then nothing worked but by the time he realized it? It was the only thing that made him feel anything at the high -- it was the lows that sucked. And this was becoming a low point. Knowing that at one time in their life he and Sarah were closer than this. And now?

He tried to shoot John B for his dad, but hit Sarah instead. He tried to drown her but she'd let him fry. She'd let him go to jail, and whatever happened to him there would she care? Does she care that he isn't well? Ward doesn't. Rose doesn't. Why would Sarah care?

❝ In wanting to live your life for you , you didn't give a shit who you hurt in the process, huh? Not Dad, not Wheezie, not m--❞ he stops himself from admitting anything. Instead he is taken aback by her words of when he stopped being her brother.

❝ And you stopped being my sister long before that. ❞ Rafe spat. ❝ You stopped giving a fuck about me a long time ago. Before any of this you stopped seeing me as your brother and you started looking at me like they look at me.❞

Aside from Ward's constant disappointment he can't deny that it hurt like hell that he went from the big brother to someone she seemed to hate and he doesn't even know how they got there.

the way that rafe acts towards her makes her believe he hates her. that he'd rather see her dead than ever work on trying to fix what's broken. maybe a part of her doesn't realize that she's pretty much done the same to him since everything went to shit in her family. feels of abandonment and uninterest scream inside of her. though she knows she's at fault for walking away, they had given her the push. here sarah was, doing exactly what she feared most -- not meeting people's expectations.

this time sarah doesn't back down. holds strong against rafe's intimidating presence. she knows he can hurt her -- he's bigger and stronger but it doesn't sway her. the words hit their mark. of course it stings to know how litter her father cared. especially have she mourned his 'death' on that boat. "i'm not his little princess anymore so of course he doesn't rafe. i wasn't doing what he wanted. i wanted to live my life for me and he hated me for it. you don't think i knew that?"

"you don't know a damn thing about me anymore rafe. you stopped being my brother the day you wanted me dead instead."

In a world that made me feel worthless , you made me feel something. Like I'm finally enough.

❝ No fish.❞ he replies, grinning as he leans into the kiss on his cheek. ❝ We'll do steak another night, I have something else in mind for tonight.❞ He squeezes her hand back and pulls her close. ❝ Let me surprise you, baby...I promise you'll love it and if you don't I'll go out and get you a steak from anywhere you want. Deal? ❞

"Good, because I'm so tired of looking at fish, smelling fish, being NEAR fish." Kie tells him, laughing slightly when he kisses her cheek. "I swear, if I see another one look at me at my parent's restaurant, I'm done." She jokes.

"Hmm, actually, a steak sounds fantastic." Taking his hand in hers, she ives it a solid squeeze. "And what is it that you're going to make me?"

❝ So what you're saying is your parents just fed you the baby variety of everything ; baby carrots, baby corn..? ❞ He knows if he keeps this up she is going to get him back ; and yet .. the smile on his face indicates that he isn't going to let up any time soon. ❝ Oh now you're just getting kinky, Juni. ❞

❝ Did you eat your veggies when you were a kid ? ❞ There is a light yelp he lets out when she pinches his side, but he also ends up laughing after the fact. ❝ You're about as intimidating as a chihuahua. All yips, no bite. ❞