bstroobery - Blue Strawberry System
Blue Strawberry System

Welcome to our main tumblr blog! We are the Blue Strawberry System!Our most active alters on this blog are shown above. From left to right: 🔦, 🍞, 📖, 🍓, 🧡🐍, 💀, 💻, 📺, and 🍄

477 posts

"fakeclaim" A Personal Comic About Being In An OSDD/DID System.

"we got our first 'fakeclaim' today", the text, which is the thoughts of the girl depicted, reads, with this girl sitting at her computer.
"how can a stranger on the internet possibly know"; the text reads. the screen now shows the computer, although it is hard to distinguish the text on it.
"what someone experiences every day?" the computer screen is now distinguishable. it reads a comment written to the girl, mostly scribbled out, but part of it is legible, and it reads: "fake systems, like you."
"i talk about it so little." the view returns to the girl's face, who is looking off to the side in sorrowful thought.
"humans are so complex." the drawing shows a blank human with various thought bubbles, exclamation marks, and speech bubbles.
"and even if i wrote a million pages about every little detail of my life with OSDD-1b," the drawing shows the girl at a desk, writing on a sheet of paper. surrounding her are comically, and metaphorically, large stacks of paper, intended to represent the papers she has already written.
"would it be enough to shine even a fraction of light," the drawing depicts the girl now handing a stack to the blank human from before, who looks at her with curiosity.
"on what it is truly like to live that," the drawing shows the blank human reading one of the papers.
"...and not just to read it?" the drawing shows the blank human extending an arm of support onto the girl's shoulder. they are responding in a small speech bubble, but there are no written words. the girl looks at them with a mildly disappointed expression.
the drawing only reads three periods/dots, "..."
"i don't know," is written across the page by itself.
"but reading what they said feels like confirming doubts in my head," the drawing shows the girl looking at the comment once more, her expression sad, and reflective.
"the doubts saying they aren't real," the drawing depicts the girl standing, her arm awkwardly placed on her opposite arm. behind her are looming shadows, intended to be the other alters in the system she is apart of. they only have mildly distinguishing features, such as eyes, hair, and jawlines.
"but," the drawing stays the same, only the shadows behind the girl have begun to fade, and her eyes have closed.
"would that mean that i'm not real, either?" the shadows behind the girl are nearly invisible now, and she is looking at her hands in fear as she, too, is starting to fade.
"i'm just as 'made up' as the rest of them." the shadows behind the girl are gone now, and she has faded more, but is still visible.
"and i know my own thoughts, and values, worries, fears." the drawing only shows the girl sitting against a wall now, fully visible.
"hopes, dreams." there are two small drawings coinciding with each word. "hopes" depicts the girl petting with and smiling at a dog, who is wagging its tail and looking up at her happily. "dreams" depicts the girl with a cheerful, excited expression, a graduation cap on her head.
"and i know my dread every time i glance at the mirror," the drawing depicts the girl looking at a mirror, although the focus is on the front of her, so the mirror is not entirely visible. her expression is tired.
"at a body that isn't, and will never be, mine." the drawing now shows the mirror. in the mirror is the same pose as the girl, however the person in the mirror looks entirely different, with much shorter hair and different accessories.
"a body that i am trapped inside." the drawing shows the body that was in the mirror, covered in chains and tightly holding itself. there is a frown on its face.
"a body that i will never get to make my own." the drawing now shows a table with various items on top. one is a mannequin head with a wig over it, reminiscent of the protagonist girl's hair. beside it are a few items: an eye-shadow palette, an eyeliner pen, fishnet gloves, bracelets, and a toothbrush labelled "S".
"a body that i share with several others, who want to make a home out of it just as much as me." the drawing appears to be zoomed out. it still shows the items from before, but the table has extended to reveal two more "sets" of items. one shows another mannequin head with a different wig, with other makeup supplies and a stack of folded clothes, as well as a different toothbrush. the other shows a beanie hat with makeup supplies and astrology-themed folded clothes, as well as another pair of fishnet gloves, and another toothbrush.
"...part of me wants to listen to that stranger." the drawing only shows the girl's hand on the computer mouse from before.
"to stop trying to make sense of it and hope it just goes away." the drawing shows the girl holding a phone. the phone displays a pop-up requesting the confirmation of deleting an app. it only shows the app icon, an "&" ampersand symbol.
"but it's been nearly 8 years of being aware of some of our symptoms," the drawing shows the girl, looking down at the phone with a frown. a tear is falling down her cheek.
"and 2 years since finally accepting a label we'd been avoiding for nearly 5." the drawing shows a phone with an array of messages. most of them are illegible except for one, which shows a date, "january of 2022", and a message that reads, "i think i might have OSDD-1b."
"...we got our first fakeclaim today." the drawing shows the same close-up of the computer screen from the beginning of the post, with the fakeclaim comment depicted on it.
"I'm sorry, stranger," the drawing now shows an even more close-up of the screen, the mouse icon hovering over a delete button for the fakeclaim comment.
"i wish i were faking, too." is written across the screen by itself. the post ends.

"fakeclaim" — a personal comic about being in an OSDD/DID system.

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More Posts from Bstroobery

1 year ago

also!!! i think fronting alone is an underrated experience. i LOVE being at front alone. it's epic


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1 year ago

Ew straight people /hj

(PS neither of them are actually straight but they’re in a heterosexual relationship)

-🧡🐍

Just wanna make something clear about this blog: as long as you are not physically or emotionally hurting someone else, we do not care what you do or who you are.

No matter

Gender

Race

Ethnicity

Sexuality

Religion

Whether you’re a system

Or a singlet

what type of system you are

what type of alter you are

We don’t care. Live your life. Live and let live. You are safe here.

Just as long as you are respectful towards others, don’t physically hurt others, or are not emotionally abusing others, we’re cool.

We are not pro or anti anything unless that thing involves any sort of actual harm.

You are not safe if you are: transphobic, racist, homophobic, against LGBT+ rights, against systems, or hurt/harass others because they don’t share the same beliefs as you. (If you were this way in the past but have bettered yourself and no longer think that way, don’t worry you’re cool :) )

-🍓

1 year ago

dissociative experiences scale 2

The DES is such a fun diagnostic tool. I've had a couple of therapists and psychiatrists administer it to me. It's an empirically tested scale that gets a feel for tbe magnitude of a person's dissociation.

I score differently depending on alter (they reason what each question means and how frequently it occurs differently) but usually score in the 45 to 65 range. When I was younger my scores were generally in the 60 to 80 range. Progress!?

I used to score high on questions like dissociating so hard you literally see yourself in the third person and you are approached by people you don't recognize who know you, but I very rarely experience that anymore. I keep forgetting about the experience of seeing myself in the third person during dissociative episodes - that was such a severe symptom that I used to occasionally experience.

For anyone interested in taking it, you can take it here. Today, I obtained a 66. I have been unusually stressed lately.

Dissociative Experiences Scale - II
Trauma dissociation
Self-assessment tool for Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, DDNOS (OSDD), and PTSD. DES scoring explained. Try it today.

The website has some interesting information on here. In studies, certain mental illnesses were associated with certain scores.

>!Dissociative Experiences Scale Scores

Explained High and Low DES Scores

High levels of dissociation are indicated by scores of 30 or more, scores under 30 indicate low levels. Successful treatment of a dissociative disorder should reduce the DES score when compared to the result before treatment began. Very high scores do not necessarily mean a more severe dissociative disorder is present, this is because the scale measures both normal and pathological dissociation.

Dissociative Identity Disorder and the DES

Only 1% of people with Dissociative Identity Disorder have been found to have a DES score below 30. A very high number of people who score above 30 have been shown to have Posttraumatic Stress Disorder or a dissociative disorder other than Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Clinical Uses of the Dissociative Experiences Scale

If a person scores in the high range (above 30) then the DES questions can be used as the basis for a clinical interview, with the clinician asking the client to describe examples of the experiences they have had for any questions about experiences which occur 20% of the time or more. Alternatively, the Dissociative Disorders Interview Schedule (DDIS) or Structured Clinical Interview for Dissociative Disorders (SCID-D) can be used to reach a diagnosis.

Average DES Scores in research:

General Adult Population 5.4

Anxiety Disorders 7.0

Affective Disorders 9.35

Eating Disorders 15.8

Late Adolescence 16.6

Schizophrenia 15.4

Borderline Personality Disorder 19.2

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder 31

Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified 36

Dissociative Identity Disorder (MPD) 48!<


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1 year ago

Just wanna make something clear about this blog: as long as you are not physically or emotionally hurting someone else, we do not care what you do or who you are.

No matter

Gender

Race

Ethnicity

Sexuality

Religion

Whether you’re a system

Or a singlet

what type of system you are

what type of alter you are

We don’t care. Live your life. Live and let live. You are safe here.

Just as long as you are respectful towards others, don’t physically hurt others, or are not emotionally abusing others, we’re cool.

We are not pro or anti anything unless that thing involves any sort of actual harm.

You are not safe if you are: transphobic, racist, homophobic, against LGBT+ rights, against systems, or hurt/harass others because they don’t share the same beliefs as you. (If you were this way in the past but have bettered yourself and no longer think that way, don’t worry you’re cool :) )

-🍓


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1 year ago

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT’S BEEN THREE WHOLE YEARS SINCE UNUS ANNUS DIED????

-🩶👻


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