Hunchback Of Notre-dame [Wade Wilson/Deadpool X Reader] (Marvel)

hunchback of notre-dame [Wade Wilson/Deadpool x Reader] (Marvel)

You get this ridiculous idea that you just need to mark a huge heart into his back.

Word count: 1,945

Warnings: sexual innuendos and jokes all around, mention of logan being a 'free pass' in your relationship lol, wade having a hard time grasping intimacy that isn't of a sexual nature, wade feeling self-conscious and speking badly of his own appearance. established relationship. so many ridiculous and over-the-top pet names.

kiiinda loosely based off this ask- "Deadpool with s/o who keeps biting him? Not sexually (mostly) but I need to CHOMP this man."

“Please? Please please please please please please? Come onnnn sweetie-pie. Darling-dear. Baby boy. Baby.”

“Oh my God never call me ‘darling-dear’ again, what is this, medieval england?”

“Don’t change the subject!”

“Geez Louise why do you wanna do that so bad? Is it like a biting kink or something?”

“It could be.” You shrug.

“I’m listening.”

You roll your eyes at his reply. “‘Course now you are. I just wanna see how it looks!”

“It’s gonna heal in like two seconds, you know that, right?. I’m not sure it’ll even show.”

“Yeah but get this- what if you tried really really hard to stop it from healing?”

“I… don’t think that’s how it works, pookie-bear,” he tells you, booping your nose along with the ridiculous pet name.

You ignore it. “You don’t know that!”

He stops to think for a couple seconds before letting out an exaggerated sigh. “Fine. This once.”

“Yes! Take your shirt off. And throw it in the wash, how many days have you been wearing it for?”

“Oh, too many to count, sweetheart.” 

“That’s gross, Wade.”

“Hey now, I’m gonna revoke your biting privileges!” He threatens, but proceeds to take the shirt off as and throw it in the hamper anyway.

“Nuh-uh, no take-backsies.”

“Then stop insulting my habits!” He sits down on the bed and you sit yourself on your legs right behind him. 

“What? When have I ever done that?” You feign confusion, kissing his shoulder.

“Now that’s just gaslighting. You’re a gaslighter. A mean, evil, toxic gaslighter and you’re gaslighting me.”

You laugh. “Oh whatever, grown man who needs to be reminded to do his laundry. You ready?”

“No?”

“Why do you even care so much? You get, like, stabbed on the daily.”

“Yeah but this isn’t… stabbing. Stabbing I’m used to.”

“I can stab you if you want me to.”

“Can you really?” 

“If you’re into that,” you play along.

“Oh you know I am, baby. No but that’s not what I meant.”

You kiss his lower back without a warning, and you can’t contain a smile at the way he shivers. “What do you mean, then?”

“This is… different.” He fidgets with his own hands as he talks, eyes trained on them over his own lap.

“What, not every person you’ve ever dated that’s asked to bite a heart into your back?” You continue kissing your way up his back, up until where you want said heart to start.

“Oh no, everyone asks me for that on the reg actually. I’m actually super mega lucky that I heal so fast, otherwise I’d just have to come home with all those hearts on my back all the time and you would not be happy with that would you?”

You punch his shoulder lightly and he smiles. “You bet I wouldn’t! Only I get to do this, you hear me?” You exclaim, feigning offense.

“Wolvie carved a heart into my thigh once. Hottest thing to ever happen to me. No offense.”

“None taken.” You bite the skin of his back right where you’d just kissed before. Not so hard that it’s meant to hurt, it’s not that kind of night, but not as if he’d break either, since, well, he kind of can’t. You suck lightly on the skin to make sure to leave a tiny mark and it’s a little funny to be doing this with no ulterior motives. “Especially since that for sure never happened.”

“It could have.” 

“If Logan ever carves a fucking heart into your thigh and I’m not there to witness it I will be so mad.” 

“Hey I thought we had a free pass with him!”

“Not if I’m not involved! Or at least get to watch.”

“Aye, aye, captain. Anything else you wanna witness between us, sweetcheeks?”

“I’ll tell you when I’m done, how about that?” You grin before resuming your work, biting and sucking on the scarred skin until you can see the aligned marks almost forming the shape you want them to. 

It’s a shock that it gets him to shut up for even just a few seconds, so it’s no surprise that the silence doesn’t last all that long. “This is…  It’s different… It’s… It’s really intimate isn’t it? Like overwhelmingly so. Is it hot in here, are you hot?”

You stop immediately. “Hey. Don’t freak out on me. I know I insisted a little but I didn’t think you were hesitating ‘cause you were uncomfortable. I wouldn’t have-” 

“No- no no no no no, it’s fine. It’s… Nice. It’s silly, but it’s nice. Just different.”

You stare at him until he manages to get himself to look up at you and nod, easing your worries and letting yourself believe him. “Okay. But only if you’re sure. And don’t call me silly!”

“You’re making it really hard, sugartits.”

“Hey!” You flick the back of his head.

“Ow! What was that for? It’s obvious that by ‘it’ I meant my dick. I was dirty talking. Clearly.”

“You’re ridiculous.” You bite into his skin again. He stays still and weirdly quiet once again, eyes closed and still shivering occasionally as you trace kisses along his back before following them with bites and, finally, the main goal- the hickeys. 

“You done?”

“Almost. Missing three.”

“They all still there?”

“They’re fading, but they’re still there. You trying to keep them?”

He shrugs, very obviously trying his hardest to pretend he doesn’t care. “Well you wanted me to, didn’t you?” 

You smile, cupping his jaw with one of your hands and turning his face to the side so you can give him a quick kiss. 

“Almost done,” you promise.

“Do it harder.”

“What?”

“Bite harder.”

“What, is this you saying you have some sort of biting kink?”

“First of all, you should have guessed that. Second of all, no, I just don’t want them to fade so fast.” 

“So someone’s enjoying the idea now.”

“Enjoying is pushing it. Curious is a better-fitting word.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” Making the last of the marks, you lean back to admire the work. “Done,” you announce, tracing the shape with the tips of your fingers. 

“Well, can I see it?”

“Yeah.” You pull him to his feet and lead him to the full body mirror in the corner of the room. Turning himself around so his back is facing the mirror, he looks over his shoulder so he can see it too.

“Oh.”

“You don’t like it?”

“I thought it would… you can barely see it with the… you know. The scars.”

“Of course you can see it! Look!” You trace the shape on his skin with your pointer finger for him to see in the reflection.

“You know what I meant.” 

“I- didn’t want it to make you feel bad. It was really silly anyway. You can let it heal if you want to.”

“It’s not- it’s not that. Fuck, I know this was supposed to be this whole funny haha silly cutesy little thing but I just- I don’t even know why you do it.”

“Do what?”

“Put up with it.”

“What exactly?”

“This. It’s not really the best view in town, is it?” There he goes, unable to look you in the eye again.

“Sorry?”

“Like why would you even want to see this? You just spent like ten minutes staring at my back, which frankly looks like I single-handedly brought leprosy back to fashion and then you- just- like even just my face is enough for people to, like, projectile vomit. Why’d you make yourself do this right now?”

“I didn’t make myself do anything. I had to convince you to let me do it´.”

“‘Cause you wanna prove something.”

“What would I wanna prove with something so dumb?”

“I don’t know. That you don’t see me as a monster or something.” 

“I don’t see you as a monster. But I wasn’t trying to prove anything.”

Letting his face fall into his hands, he lets out a frustrated sigh, as if he hadn’t meant for the conversation to come to this. And he probably hadn’t, really, but he already did so much of pretending to be fine all the time. It sucked to see him like this, but at least he was letting himself be real, be honest with you about the way he was feeling. 

You’ve come a long way to gain this kind of trust. 

“Sorry. Ruined the moment. Way to go, Wade!” He apologizes.

“You don’t have to say sorry, you know that by now.” 

He glances at the mirror again and sees all the marks have gone away already, his mind going elsewhere and interrupting the focus he’d been putting into trying to put off the healing of them. He finally turns around to actually face you. “See? Can’t even have this one fucking silly little thing you wanted. It’s gone already cause, guess what, I’m a fucking freak of nature now. Like The Hunchback of Notre-Dame or something. I don’t know, I didn’t watch the movie.” 

You laugh. “Well I’ll just be Esmeralda then.”

“Who the fuck is that?”

“Oh you’d find her so hot, dude. But doesn’t matter.” You walk up to him, kissing him gently from his ear to his jaw to his neck to his lips. “Don’t fucking question why I love you ever again, that’s, like, so rude.”

“Oh that was just so sappy, even for you babe, massive sap vibes all over.”

“Oh shut up you big baby.” You place a last gentle kiss on the palm of his hand. “I have an idea.” You pull yourself away from him, disappearing into the bathroom.

“Yeah? Does it involve pity sex? Cause I’m feeling down and I am ready to pounce if you are and-“ He raises an eyebrow in question when you come back holding up something. “That some new vibrator or something?” 

“Can you wait like ten seconds?” 

“Ten seconds? Babe, you know that’s asking too much of me when I’m this horny. They don’t call me The Flash for nothing.” 

“Who is ‘they’? And what does that even mean?”

“Sorry, wrong franchise. You wouldn’t get it.”

“Huh?”

“Back to the vibrator.”

“It’s lipstick.” You turn to face the mirror, taking your time applying the dark red color to your lips. “Kay, turn around, pretty boy.”

“Oooh, kinky! You gonna gimme a rimjob with that lipstick on?  Wait is that another kink? We are full of surprises today.” He quips, turning around as asked. 

“Wade please shut up.” 

“You know I can’t do th- aaahh what are you doing?” He flinches, taken by surprise by the kiss you place on his back, right where the heart you’d marked on him had been.

“Well you can keep these ones a little longer.” This time, he keeps quiet the entire time you take to mark the heart on his back once again, with the lipstick this time, reapplying it before every other kiss so the marks truly showed. 

“Fuuuckkk I’m never washing my back again,” he comments as he admires the reflection in the mirror.

“Don’t even start.” 

“I’m staying dirty forever and it’s gonna be your fault, sweetheart,” he declares as he turns around to face you, and it pleases you to see his mood seems better. 

“We are taking a shower in a couple hours and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“We?” He raises his eyebrows suggestively at the implication.

“If that gets you to actually shower for once.”

“Hey, I shower all the time!”

“Then you can shower without me like a big boy.” 

“Actually I don’t take showers I don’t know how.” 

“Yeah, yeah I figured.”

A/N: hey send me stuff for deadpool i actually enjoyed writing this lol it was v fun and cute!! i hope it isn't much too ooc lol i still gotta get the hang of writing wade

they are so stupid 🫶🫶🫶

Having ur main emotional response be crying is so embarrassing like ill be trying to explain why im mad or ill try having a serious convo abt smthn that upsets me and ill start crying like a baby and i have to like turn around and go “i am not crying 4 pity or to emotionally manipulate u im crying cuz im a little bitch, give me a sec”

i can't vibe with anyone who thinks icarus was an ignorant idiot for flying too close to the sun. "oh i'd never do that i would have remembered my father's warning and been fine". do you seriously think that after years of imprisonment, feeling the sun on your face and the open air beneath your wings, you would be able to focus on anything but the joy of being alive and free? do you actually think that if you were given the opportunity to go where nobody has never been before, you wouldn't want to push it to the limit? to dare to be the first to try what no one else has ever even thought possible? do you honestly think you're too good for your own human nature? look me in the eyes and tell me if i strapped a pair of wings to your back that could take you wherever you wanted to go whenever you pleased that you'd be careful and sensible about it. you are not better than icarus just because you have the benefit of his example.

Trying to sell handmade crafts in this economy is so. Like. Hey guys I know we're all broke as fuck but do you want my silly little things. I'm very good at it. For the time it takes to make them + skill + materials it's gonna be 30$ per silly little thing. But also shipping costs 12$ for reasons outside my control so it's actually 42$ now. Sorry. No I really can't charge less than that. Yeah I know. Ok. Bye

KISSES

alastor x reader

⤷ synopsis ; usually, you and alastor start the morning off with a kiss, but it seems your kids decided to do everything they could to stop that.

⤷ warnings : petnames, romance, reader is a female, sinners can have kids in this because yes, and silly stuff.

⤷ missive ; enjoy this broadcast!

"may i speak now?"

"can we have more!?"

the question rang throughout the kitchen while alastor's hums came to a stop, and they were only replaced by a low chuckle leaving his throat as he wiped his hands on his apron.

"if you and your sister can finish what's already on your plate, you can have more." he spoke as he grabbed a spatula, and pointed it at the girls while they giggled.

the two were polar opposites, yet that didn't stop them from having the same ideas and attitudes. the one who sat on the left side of the table was your daughter, marie. she was the exact replica of alastor, but a girl.

she had long, crimson hair—her eyes matching the colour as she stared at her father. she was the youngest.

and elise, your oldest daughter, was exactly like you. while she preferred to have short hair unlike marie, the colour matched yours nonetheless. just like her hair, her eyes matched yours as well.

yet their personalities just switched.

marie had yours, and elise had her father's.

despite that, they still managed to both be just as chaotic as the other.

and today proved that.

you trudged into the kitchen while the girls whispered to one another, and the sound of the radio playing didn't catch your attention as you wrapped your arms around alastor.

your face rested against his spine while the man turned off the stove, and he slightly turned around so you were against his chest. "good morning, cher!" the enthusiasm in his voice made you teasingly frown, and alastor could only chuckle before he leaned down to kiss you.

due to the action being habit, you had cupped the side of his cheek as your nose skimmed his, but before you could kiss him, a shout rang out.

"DON'T KISS HIM, MAMA!" marie shouted while elise giggled, and you pulled away from alastor to humour them. the demon seemed to dislike your action, for his smile slightly falter while he leaned in once again.

this time, you rose a finger to stop him, and his ears partially flattened against his head while you faced your daughters. "and why's that?"

"HE SAID YOU HAVE COOTIES AND HE DOESN'T WANT TO KISS YOU!" marie's actions made elise laugh harder as you faked a gasp—ignoring alastor's obvious attempts to kiss you.

"i said no such thing, my dear!" alastor's tone showed he was playing along as he pressed a kiss to your hand, and you could only pull your hand back with a sigh. "and to think i married a man who now deems i have cooties!"

marie got a hit out of the act as she laughed, and you stepped away from alastor while he reached out for you. his ears only fully flattened against his head once you moved over to the girls.

"can you believe him!?" you questioned as marie laughed, and elise only scoffed. "papa's so mean!" she stated while her sister only covered her mouth with each giggle that escaped, and you nodded before peering over your shoulder to stare at alastor. "you can say that again..."

"alright, that's it—i am getting my morning kiss, you rascals..." you all watched as alastor started to take off his apron, and your girls hastily stood up before elise took your hand. "this way, mama!"

you picked up marie once elise started to run off, and alastor was quick to catch up behind you three.

it was known well that alastor could easily catch you all if he wanted, yet all he did was remain in a slight jog while he chased you all throughout the hotel.

and this went on for the whole day, oddly enough.

you didn't think alastor had the motivation in him, yet it seemed like he was almost desperate to kiss you—to which you secretly let him a few times as the girls went to eat the meals he prepared for them for lunch and dinner. while they thought they had hidden you well, alastor always managed to find you.

for lunch, they hid you in their room, and alastor was quick to arrive before stealing a few kisses from you. when you heard the two girls dashing up to the room, he was hasty to vanish like he hadn't even been in the room.

and for dinner, you were hidden in your room.

the room you shared with alastor.

so, it wasn't as shocking when he waltzed right inside with a bright grin while he gifted you as many pecks as he could.

and he eventually lost his guard because the girls walked right in—leading you to plead for help while alastor continued to kiss your cheek to mess with them.

"BAD PAPA!" marie stated while elise dragged you away, and marie smacked her fathers leg as he fell onto the bed.

for a six-year-old, marie actually hit rather hard.

and for an eight-year-old, elise was rather smart.

she had started to gain note of her father's tactics, and found ways to avoid all of them until both her and marie grew too tired to fight back any longer.

you told them that their room would be safe, but little did they know, you had just gotten them ready for bed.

the day had flown by as you gently kissed the top of the girls heads, and when you backed up, you felt an arm wrap around your waist as you sighed.

"oh no, i've been caught..." you sarcastically state while alastor pecked your cheek, and marie let out a squeal. "my mama!"

"no, she's my mama!" alastor spoke back as he placed a long kiss against your cheek before dramatically pulling back, yet marie continued to make comments. "my mama!"

"no, my mama. she's in my arms," he slightly squeezed you as a way to show the girls you were being held by him. "she's wearing the wedding ring i gifted her—" your hand was held up as the girls only grinned, and alastor turned his head to stare at you as kisses had started to get peppered across your cheek while your girls broke into hysterical laughter. "and she likes my kisses!"

"do that somewhere else!" elise jokingly commented while alastor stopped, and he shot them a winning smile. "gladly! goodnight, my little does—i love you."

the two said their goodnights while you joined in, and when alastor pecked your cheek again, the girls only giggled.

"alright, stop riling them up again." you spoke as you and alastor walked out of the door, and with each step you took, he made sure to lean over and peck your face. as soon as you left their room, he placed many against your lips.

"okay, now you're just bragging—" you spoke between kisses.

"i'm well aware of that, and i truly do not care." another peck was placed against your lips, and he eventually pulled back before grasping the door handle. his smile widened a bit at the sight of his daughters sleeping before he squeezed the handle.

"she's mine, goofs..." alastor whispered as he slowly closed the door, and you rolled your eyes at his antics. the sound of gentle snores echoing from the room made your smile grow until alastor cupped your cheek.

his lips softly met yours as you teasingly pushed back, and you shot him a scowl. "bank's closed, al."

"my dear, you're killing me..." alastor wrapped his arms around your waist as he pressed his forehead against yours, and you moved your hands to rest on his shoulder while he gazed down at you. "please? just one?"

"you kissed me like—a million times when we were putting the girls to bed, alastor!"

"and i wish to kiss you a million more if you'll let me."

you froze at his words before you let out a low huff, and alastor's grin widened in triumph as his lips met yours once more. instead of short kisses, a long one ensured as passion poured into the simple act. his lips moved in sync with yours while your hands moved up to tangle in his hair.

you closed your eyes as the kiss lingered on, and your fingers scratched behind his ears—a soft hum leaving his throat at the feeling while his ears twitched in your grasp.

after about a minute or two, you pulled away, which earned a look of teasing irritation from alastor.

"alright, off to bed. i'm tired..." alastor chuckled at your words, and his nose softly nudged yours as he traced shapes on your hips. "you're speaking to me as if i have a naptime and still need the crust cut off of my sandwiches."

"alastor, you ask me to cut off the crust each time i make you something—"

"off to bed we go, my dear!"

⤷ word count ; 1,500

© bellecerva

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