Yall Have An Hour And A Few Min To Vote On This

y’all have an hour and a few min to vote on this

pleaseee

Assistant

a/n: I have 6 drafts now that I have to finished. time to grind out a few before lunch (no prob not). Enjoy! Yall idk who Im going to pair with reader

wc: 1400+

⚠️: idk man

Masterlist

Amren was waltzing down the streets of Velaris towards the rainbow, completely ready to order ask Feyre to paint something for her when she felt it. A shift in the world, nearly impossible to detect but she knew this feeling, it was what she felt when she'd fell through the folds of the universe itself and into this world. A slight tilt of the world, barely half a degree. Someone had just opened a portal straight into Prythian, maybe even straight into Velaris based off how easy the shift was to detect.

Amren looked up in time to see tear appear in the sky, and a female fall through. As the female fell she was franticly pressing her fingers to her shoulders and cursing when nothing happened. Amren wondered if she should save the female, she'd been in that situation a few centuries ago after all. But her magic was gone and she couldn’t do much other than watch. But 15 meters from the ground a parachute sprouted from her back and slowed her fall. The people were looking up now, at the female that floated down and landed among them. She was beautiful, like a dream. White hair, blue eyes ringed with gold, pointed ears and a climbing outfit that showed her body spectacularly.

The female looked around and spoke warily, “hello?” Her voice was soft and carried over the small crowd with the authority of a commander.

The fae around her had mixed reactions, some glowered while others smiled warmly. As Amren watched a male stepped forward. He had a sneer on his face as the female backed up, hands on the hilts of knives. Amren took a step forward, noticing the knives had a hole between the blade and hilt. Climbing knives that matched her outfit, what was this female doing?

“How did you get here? What do you want with this city?” The male started to advance on the female as she held her ground. The people were on high alert after the War and some had begun to get hostile. Amren recognized this particular male, Kian.

This was trouble especially since this female wasn’t backing down. Amren hesitated, she could save her without anyone dying.

As the male advanced and the female raised her knives, Amren stepped forward and spoke, “She is my assistant and was up there by my command testing out a new parachute so go back to your business and stay out of ours.”

Immediately everyone scattered and Amren grabbed the girl by the arm and led her away.

Guess she wasn’t going to Feyre’s studio after all.

*****

Y/n’s POV- three hours earlier

Y/n grinned as her parents rode off to go have vacation that probably involved a lot little fun. She strapped on her gear as her older brother gave her a look and she grinned back at him, tipping her nonexistent hat. Hopping on a horse Y/n rode to the only mountain she hadn’t climbed yet. It was taller than she could see and the rock was smoother than all the others. This was the final test, the final self imposed challenge. There was already a rope at her feet that she’d begged her dad to fly up to the top. He’d agreed but only if she didn’t rush it. (Have you all guessed who her parents are yet?)

She grabbed the rope, testing its strength before pulling out her favorite climbing knife and beginning the ascent. Around half way up, the first problem occurred, she’d skipped a rest stop because she was feeling energetic. But now her body was at its limit, it seemed this particular stretch between stops was longer than the others. Y/n looked around trying not to panic, all around her smooth stone with no crevice’s to be seen. She glanced down and saw the spot she’d skipped 100 meters below. She tilted her head back and looked up, above her another 75 meters was the next stop. Spewing out a few colorful words her mother would have been proud of she used one hand to scrawl a quick note to her parents and siblings before pinning it to the rope with a small pocket knife. Using the rest of her strength she hauled her body up another 5 meters, cursing when her left foot slipped.

Then her right foot.

Now dangling in mid air she kicked at the rock to try to anchor her feet. But with the force of the kick her right hand lost it’s grip on the knife she’d imbedded into the rock. Cursing the gods and herself, she was suddenly glad of the brutal training she and her brothers had endured. Managing to get her feedback anchored and her hand back on the hilt of her knife she decided it wasn’t possible to continue for now.

If there was one thing her uncle Fenrys had taught her it was to know your body’s limits and how far to push. She’d already pushed herself farther than she could endure and if she pushed any farther she wouldn’t make it. So y/n pulled out her knife and let her body drop.

Pushing at the shoulder pads that activated the parachute she desperately searched for a good place to land.

But she never got the chance.

A flash of light sparked and she fell through what looked like a rip in the world. As y/n fell she cursed every deity she knew, just her fucking luck. One of the cuts through worlds right here! How many times had the creature that was made of nightmares gone back and fourth through the worlds?

Time to worry about that later.

As she fell for what seemed like forever she would occasionally glimpsed people laughing in a city or two men brawling with a crowd cheering them on. Once she even glimpsed a black dragon soaring through the air with a navy blue one.

After a glimpse of a women in blue playing with fire like her mother she jolted as she felt herself cross into a different world. Holding her breath she fell through puffs of clouds until a city came into view. She knew it was going to be hard to go back but she could try if she survived. Just climb another mountain and jump right?

As she fell she took in the sprawling city below, it was beautiful, more beautiful than anything she’d ever seen before. Spectacular buildings with a sparkling river running through the city. On one side of the river, large buildings with many windows and clocks, the other smaller buildings with all the surfaces colored. But what stood out the most was the rainbow in the midst of the city.

Speaking of the city, the ground was approaching terrifyingly fast and Y/n hurriedly tried to activate her parachute. With barely 20 meters to the ground it activated and her fall slowed to a more bearable speed.

When she landed there was already a large group of fae staring at her like she’d just come in from another world. Which she had. She eyed the people carefully, noting the mix of hostile and welcoming faces.

“Hello?”

They all stared at her as if she’d spoken a different language which she was pretty sure she hadn’t but then some smiled and other glowered. A moment of confusion and silence later a muscular male stepped forward.

Y/n could tell this male wanted a fight, she placed her hands on her climbing knives. Not ideal weapons for fighting but better than nothing. “How did you get here? What do you want with this city?”

The male continued advancing and Y/n drew her knives. She wasn’t sure how she’d gotten here and she certainly didn’t want to be here but she doubted this male was going to believe her.

Suddenly a petite female stepped forward with authority and spoke.“She is my assistant and was up there by my command testing out a new parachute so go back to your business and stay out of ours.”

Y/n eyed the female with suspicion before sliding one knife back in its sheath. If this female had the power to make that crowd scatter with just a few well placed words, she was definitely dangerous. The female grabbed her by the arm and pushed a path through the bustling city.

Y/n opened her mouth, “who-”

“Quiet,” snapped the female looking back at her and Y/n reeled back slightly at the unsettling silver eyes.

But she followed the female as she had aced her from trouble and maybe had a way to get back to her world that didn’t involve falling off another cliff.

Might be a little much to hope for though.

*****

That wasn’t the greatest but ok, please vote below

Guessed who readers parents are yet?

{Shazam!} Reader x Inner Circle

Alright fuckers I'm back. No, this isn't the series I had you guys vote on, it is taking a bit longer to finish and find the motivation for. The last thing I want to do is rush it. So enjoy this instead!

Also, if anyone wants to be tagged in future fics, let me know I'd be more than happy to let you know when I post cool shit.

Also also, if you guys would like a part two, let me know because I have ideas but won't waste my time if no one wants to read them.

Word Count ~ 4,449

Warnings ~ Language, mentions of cheating, mention of r*pe in context of Cassian's parents, possible spoilers (takes place after ACOSF) this is just some really goofy shit in all honesty it made me giggle when I was writing it I hope you giggle too <3

Summary: After spending countless hours writing the next book for the ACOTAR series, you and your best friend needed a night in to relax and catch up. At some point, the two of you started casting fake spells and summoned an all too familiar face into your basement.

“Wingardium Leviosa!” My best friend, Gianna cackled. The two of us were in my basement on a Friday night, it was near three o’clock in the morning as we wheezed with laughter. We had been making movie and TV show references for the past hour, tears streaming down my face. 

“It’s not Leviosa it’s Leviosa,” I snorted, almost falling off the couch. Gianna jumped up, waving a fake wand in her hand, pointing it at things and saying gibberish. It didn’t take long for me to join.

The two of us were rolling on the floor as I kept adding things to make our sides hurt, talking in a British accent didn’t help anything. 

“Permisioso hervanious,” Gianna shouted, jumping off the couch and hitting a classic Spiderman pose. 

“Liberpoetica nunctempus veritas!” I shouted at the tops of my lungs, spinning around in a dizzy circle. My finger pointed all around the room, Gianna tripping over something and landing with a curse. I crumbled to the ground in laughter, clutching my aching stomach. 

A second later, a flash went off and I shielded my eyes, sitting upright. I thought a light bulb blew up, but when I looked up at the couch, I screamed. So loud and horrid Gianna stopped cackling beside you. 

“What what what?” She asked, all I could do was point at the couch and hyperventilate. “Holy fucking fuck-”

“Where am I?” The man, who I recognized immediately my hundreds of hours of work, asked.

“Holy shit Yn what did you do-”

“I-I-I don’t know I didn’t do anything,” I was breathless. Sitting right there in front of me was none other than Cassian, Commander of the Night Court Armies, Lord of Bloodshed. A character from my book, A Court of Thorns and Roses. A shirtless Cassian nonetheless. His wings flared behind him as he snapped his head between us.

“Where am I?” Cassian shouted, rising to his full height. His head hit the ceiling and he cursed, leaving a dent in the drywall. 

“Holy fucking fuck-” I breathed so hard I thought I were going to pass out. 

“No fucking way,” Gianna breathed as I did. “No fucking fucking fucking way what the fuck.”

“I am going to need one of you tell me where the hell I am or I swear to the Cauldron I will-”

“Woah woah woah Cassian put that down!” I shouted, putting my hands out as he reached for a dagger. “We’re humans, mortals, please we don’t know how the hell you-” “How do you know who I am? Who are you working for? Hybern? Briallyn? One of Berron's cronies?”

“How the fuck do we explain to him that he is a made up character in a book?” Gianna whispered. 

“What?” he snapped, clutching the blade in his hand tighter. 

“Here,” I said, pushing to my feet and striding for my bookcase. I pried A Court of Mist and Fury off my shelf and flipped to the annotated page where he was nearly killed by Hybern and the Cauldron. “You’re a character from my book series. You were born to a terrible father who raped your mother. You fought for clothes and food in Windhaven. You were damn near killed half a dozen times.”

He snatched the book from my hands, his eyes racking over the pages. He was so tall...

“I don’t understand,” he shook his head. “How is this-” “Yn is the author of the book you’re in, you are a figment of her imagination you don’t really exist.”

“Well,” I sighed. “I guess that theory went out the fucking window.”

Cassian sat back down on the couch, reading over the pages. “No, no all of this is true! How did she know all about this? H-How did-”

“You are not in Prythian, you’re not even in the same universe. You’re on earth, in the United States of America,” Gianna tried to explain. The poor guy had a severely confused face. 

“In New Jersey,” I specified, pointing to the map over my desk. I took the book from his hands and flipped through to the map in the front. “See? This is Prythian. There’s the mortal lands, where the Wall was, and Velaris. Rask and Windhaven, the Prison, the Weaver’s Cottage, it’s all there.”

Cassian stared at the map, my hands trembling as I held it open. “If you know so much, then- then who is Jurian?”

“He was killed, well, sort of. Amarantha kept his eye and soul in a ring during her reign Under the Mountain for fifty years. Feyre was the one who competed in those horrible trials, that Wyrm and the levers, then solving that riddle to set all of you free.”

“How do you know about my High Lady?”

“Well, she’s the main character of the book. It goes through her early life as a mortal with her sisters, Nesta, your mate, and Elain, and their injured father.”

“We know all about Tamlin and what a tool he is. We all call him tampon,” Gianna nodded.

“Tampon? What is tampon?” “A tampon is what you shove up your vagina when you get your period- I mean cycle. Where females bleed twice a year? It stops the blood from coming out. But here on earth we get it every month. Tamlin is a fucking asshole, and no body likes him. Rhys all the way!” Gianna cheered, throwing her fist in the air. “Personally I am more of a Mor girl but everybody has their type.”

“You know Mor too? And our High Lord?”

“Well, yeah the story is about Feyre and Rhys. You, Azriel, Mor, and Amren are all side characters. You are the General of the Night Court Armies. Azriel is a shadowsinger, Rhysand's spymaster. You two are Illyrians, and so is Rhys. Mor is the Morrigan, she speaks the truth. Amren is… well, Amren. She is old as shit and was trapped in a prison for most of her fifteen-thousand year life. Nobody really knows what Elain can do besides get summoned by the Cauldron, which is now under the care and watch of Myriam and Drakon. Nesta has death’s promise, and she’s the one who saved Feyre with the Dead Trove when she had Nyx.”

He looked so confused it was hard not to feel bad. 

“I-” he started to say. “But how? How did I end up here?”

“We have no fucking idea,” my eyes were just as wide as his. “We were just casting fake spells and then poof! Here you are.”

“Fake spells? how could you be so careless?”

“We don’t live in a magic realm,” Gianna huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. She seemed awfully calm about all of this. “We don’t have magic or winged people like you do. No Cauldron or Nanga, no daemati or shadowsingers. No Suriel to spill the tea.”

“Spill the tea?”

“Ignore her,” I rolled my eyes. “What we’re trying to say is that everyone on this planet is like those who live over the Wall. In the mortal lands.”

“A whole planet full of mortals?” He scratched the back of his head. “No magic?”

“We create worlds like that in books and movies. A movie is like a visual book, with actors and stuff. It’s all made up stuff, stories and imaginations. None of it is real, or so we thought,” Gianna looked him up and down. “How do we get him back?” “Yeah, how the fuck do I get back to Velaris?” He looked directly at me, as if I had an answer. 

I looked around, eyes landing on the camera in the corner of the room. “I have cameras! Maybe if we watch back at whatever I said I can say it again and get him back.”

I jumped up to grab my phone from the charger over by the corner of the couch. With a look down, it unlocked and I went to the security app. It kept a record of every thing that happened. Took videos and stored them in the Cloud.

“What is she holding?” Cassian asked Gianna.

“A phone,” she chuckled. “It can call people, you can take pictures and look things up without having to go to a library.”

“Pictures?”

“It’s like taking a live painting. Remember the ones Feyre did, she painted those from memory, with this, you can just capture it as it’s happening. Cool, huh?”

“Very interesting,” he nodded, examining the piece of metal Gianna had put in his hand. 

“Here, let me take a picture of you,” Gianna said. “Do this with your fingers.” She held up a peace sign. He did, giving a hesitant look when the camera clicked. She showed him and he gave a genuine smile, and asked her to take another. 

While they were having a photoshoot, I played back the footage of us rolling on the floor. Liberpoetica nunctempus veritas, I shouted, spinning in a circle. It was total gibberish. Complete and utter nonsense! And it summoned Cassian, the fucking Cassian from my book. My very fictional, unrealistic book. 

“I got it,” I said, looking over my shoulder to see Cassian posing against the wall with sunglasses and a feather boa. 

“Hold on a sec, I’m showing him Snapchat,” Gianna laughed, letting him play with the filters. I grabbed her, rather harshly by the wrist and tugged her into a closet. “Holy fucking fuck, Yn!” she squealed. “Cassian is fucking real, if he’s real, then they all have to be, somewhere!”

“Shhhh!” I scolded, slapping her on the shoulder. “Chill the fuck out.”

“How can I chill out, Cassian is in your fucking basement. He’s exactly how I imagined. I wonder if Mor is actually that stunning.” “Would you focus for two seconds, please?” I snapped. “We have to get him back-”

“Gianna!” Cassian shouted, “How do I get back to that… whatever that thing was called? The thing won’t turn back on!”

Gianna just smirked and opened the closet, striding over to him. She turned it on and gave it back. I closed the door behind me. This couldn’t be real, this couldn’t be possible. How in the fucking fuck was this actually happening? There was an Illyrian in my house. A full on fictional character in my house. I was insane, schizophrenia for sure. This was not happening, I must be drugged or something, I’ve been killed and reached a new circle of hell. 

“You know all about us, don’t you?” He asked again. 

“Probably more than we should,” Gianna chuckled nervously, sliding him Silver Flames. His eyes went wind, a flush to his cheeks as he read the straight-up porn words. “Yn was not shy, bless her soul.” “Well,” he coughed, closing the book. “You humans are freaky, you read about other people fucking? I mean, I know Nesta does, kind of metaphorical” “We watch it too, it’s called porn,” I palmed my face as I sat down. Out of all the things I thought I would love to ask and talk to fictional characters about, this was certainly not one of them

I listened to them talk about porn, corn dogs, washing machines, cars, airplanes, video games, and sports for almost an hour. 

“So, you control fake people and you force them to fight and kill and collect gems?” Cassian looked even more confused and Gianna fired up my PS5.

“Not all games,” she said. “Some games you build houses, explore space and the ocean. We have it all on these little discs because they don’t exist in real life. We can’t winnow to other places in the world like you can. So sometimes we watch other people do it so we can feel like we are doing it ourselves.” “Your kind is so strange,” Cassian laughed. 

“You have no idea,” Gianna blew out a breath. 

“Your friend is quiet,” Cassian looked over at me. I was practically shitting my pants.

“She’s so uptight, she needs someone to fuck her brains out for sure.” “Gianna!” I gasped, turning a deep shade of red. “Shut up!”

“She hasn’t gotten any action in years, her last boyfriend was a total douche.”

“Boyfriend?” Cassian muttered, trying out a few pieces of Chex Mix that was on the table. He hummed, clearly delighted by the tase, taking a giant fistful into his mouth

“Like a temporary mate. You date, go out to eat, do things together, and then you get married, have a wedding. Yn’s ex boyfriend cheated on her, that piece of shit. It was after that when she started writing about Feyre and y’all’s story, she got me hooked on it, now I don't shut up about it.”

“Cheated? What’s that mean?”

“Sometimes people move on to other boyfriends or girlfriends without ending the relationship. And without telling their partner. Think of if Nesta was fucking Azriel behind your back and neither of them told you, but still went about their day like it never happened, still slept with you..”

Cassian’s eyes darkened and he clenched his fists. “Someone would do that to another person?”

“Yup,” Gianna popped the ‘P’. “Happens all the time unfortunately. Really sucks.”

“I’m sorry, if I were you I’d kill him. If Az had done something like that…”

“Yn probably would’ve-” “Will you stop talking about me like I’m not right here,” I groaned, covering my tired face. 

Gianna had the nerve to look guilty. “Sorry, Yn.”

“Okay, we need to get you back to Velaris,” I sighed, pushing up to my feet, video in hand to repeat. 

“Apologies about the hole,” Cassian looked up at the dent in my ceiling. “You guys need taller rooms.” “Most people who are on earth aren’t anywhere near as tall as you are,” I said, raising my hand above my head to about the middle of his chest. “Most are about here.”

“I can’t wait to tell Rhysand about this,” Cassian huffed a laugh. “Hey, Gianna said her favorite was Mor, who’s your favorite?” Uh oh.

“Oh I don’t-” “Azriel,” Gianna blurted out. I could have killed her. My jaw clenched. She better not. “She is obsessed with him. Her prized creation. The entire series was actually created off of some smut she wrote in college. Basically her dream man. She thinks he has the biggest wingspan-”

“Liberpoetica nunctempus veritas!” I shouted without a second thought. There was another flash, but it seemed to last longer than the first.

Then I hit the ground, so hard I saw stars. I groaned and rolled onto my back, staring up at my ceiling. 

This was not my ceiling. I bolted up with a scream so loud it hurt my throat. 

“Oh my fucking- no no no no no,” I stood up, looking all over the room. I ran to the french doors and it opened to a balcony. Before me was the Rainbow, the Sidra. Fucking Velaris. I could feel my blood gushing too hard for my lungs to keep up with, and I knew I was gonna pass out.

—

The light was too bright, and my head fucking killed. 

“Gianna,” I said groggily, “Can you run up and get me some Advil? I have a killer headache. Also you are not going to believe this dream that I had.”

As I blinked away the crud in my eyes, I screamed again. 

“Mother above!” A figure jumped in the corner of the room. “Are you trying to make me deaf?”

“Holy fucking christ,” my eyes could barely focus, but that person for sure looked like they had wings. When it, he, came closer, it was apparent that he did. It was Cassian. I almost pissed myself. “Oh no, no no no! What am I doing here?”

“I grabbed you after you said the spell,” he grinned wildly. “Gianna was on board with the plan. She’s taking care of all your stuff.”

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. 

“So you’re saying I’m here, in Velaris? In the House of Wind?” “Yes,” he nodded. “Everyone is dying to meet you.” “How long have I been here?” “Just two days,” he shrugged. 

“Two fucking days?” My eyes nearly fell out of my skull. “No no no, this is a dream none of this is real come on Yn wake up wake up wake up!”

“Stop smacking yourself,” He pried my hands away from my cheeks. “Don’t do that. You are safe here, okay?”

I ripped my hands from his grip and took a step back, looking at the room around me. “This is… this is fucking crazy. I can’t believe all of this is real. This is so fucking weird.”

“You sure do curse a lot,” He chuckled. “I like you. So will everyone else. Come on, they know you’re awake.”

I couldn’t stop him as he grabbed my hand and dragged me down a hallway. I tried to fight against him, but there was no way I was gonna win. I had designed him to be the strongest Illyrian in history. I’m a fucking idiot. 

When he finally let go, I was in the living room I had spent so many hours creating and thinking about. Every detail was there.

And every character in the Inner Circle. I stared at Feyre, she was everything I had ever imagined. Of course I had seen my lovely readers’ fanart of all the characters, and most of them were pretty spot on. But nothing was like seeing it come to life. I guess this would come in handy in casting for the TV show.

Rhys came up behind her, Nyx at her other hip. Mor was sitting next to Amren, Elain and Nest by the fireplace. Azriel was off by the window, just as isolated and brooding as I had thought. His eyes were much more vibrant, much more captivating. 

“Everyone, this is Yn. Our very creator,” Cassian announced like I was some type of god. Rhysand was the first to step forward, the High Lord almost as tall as Cassian. He knelt down and took my hand in his. 

“Thank you for giving me the gift of life. For giving me Feyre and Nyx. Because of you, all I know is happiness and love. Thank you for not making me the villain everyone thought I was going to be.”

I let out a nervous chuckle, heart hammering in my chest as each one of them went to their knees, even Azriel. 

“Guys this is- you don’t have to bow down to me,” I said, tugging at Rhys’s hand so he’d stand up. “I am an author, just a normal person who had an idea she needed to write down one night. I am not your lord and savior.”

“Well, yes, you are,” Rhys nodded. “You are the one responsible for our creation. If that isn’t a Goddess I don’t know what is.”

I blinked at him, and then looked down at what I was wearing. A Dr. Pepper crop top and a pair of shorts that exposed a little too much to feel comfortable at the moment. And some custom made socks with my dog's face on them. 

“Am I really as beautiful as you write in your book?” Mor stepped us, a gleam in her eye.

“Wait wait what? You’ve read it?” I looked to Cassian who held up a phone. My phone. “How did you get that?”

“Gianna gave it to me,” he smiled. “She told me your… passcode? Is that what it’s called? Anyway, she told me to tap the numbers on the screen and then I could use it. She showed me where copies of the book were. So I read them to everyone while you were sleeping.”

“Give me that,” I snapped, ripping it from his hand. I stuffed it into my pocket and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Okay, from now on none of you are allowed to use my phone without permission. The last thing I need is for word to get out that you all exist.”

“Nobody else knows?” Rhys asked.

“Well,” I tilted my head, “You all are very popular with a very specific group of people in my world. Those who read books, read the fantasy genre love and adore you guys. They just don’t know that you all are… real.”

It was so weird to try and explain what the fuck was going on, and they didn’t seem to understand it. There was no logical way to try and explain how yes, they existed, just in a different universe. Inside their little bubble. But not in the real world. The more I tried, the more confused they seemed. 

“So, we can only exist within our story line?” Nesta seemed to get it the best, I knew she would. 

“Yes,”  I nodded. “I am your author, your creator. Whatever I write is what happens to you guys, in plain terms. I am the one who decides your fates, your mates, your traumas and happiness. Now that I say that it sounds kind of fucked up.”

“Our story ended after Feyre had Nyx,” Elain perked up, “After we went to visit our dad at his grave. Are you writing more? What is next for us?”

That was the thing, I had no idea what to do next for the story. Do I make another book like Silver Flames for Azriel? For Elain and Lucien? I had no thoughts for where to move the story. Do I go into Nyx’s development, explore that realm? There were so many possibilities, too many. I wanted to not only do justice for my readers, but for myself. It was my story, and despite all those amazing works I’ve read and seen, all those theories, it was still my choice as to where to take them. But I guess I now had them to consider as well. 

Jesus help me. 

“I’m not sure yet, I have been taking a break from writing to work on another series of mine. I don’t know how I want to continue the story,” I admitted.

“As long as you don’t kill anyone I think we’ll be okay. We’ve dealt with enough close calls to last the next ten thousand years,” Cassian laughed, taking a seat beside his mate. “And you should definitely write us having more sex, I like having sex.” “You are so vile,” Rhys shook his head at the general. 

“No none of you are planned to die, I couldn’t even bring myself to think about that. In my third book, A Court of Wings and Ruin, Feyre you were actually already supposed to be pregnant with Nyx and Rhys was gonna die. The story was gonna go in a whole separate direction, but when I showed the draft to my friend, Gianna, she threw up because she was crying so hard. I was too afraid of the repercussions to keep it in so I changed it last minute.”

Feyre looked from her son to her mate, no doubtably remembering the feeling of Rhys clinging to life. A tear slid down her cheek and she crossed the room to me. Wrapping her arms around me. 

“Thank you for saving my mate, and my son. And all of us, I suppose. For allowing me to learn how to read and write and become myself. Without your story none of it would have existed, happiness would’ve never been known, love would’ve never blossomed.”

I guess I couldn’t fight them anymore, they really didn’t understand, but I guess it would cause them more harm than good to try and explain it any further. I just accepted the fact that they thought I was some goddess of their world. Fuck it. 

When she pulled away, it was like I saw myself, my own struggles and inner turmoil of becoming a woman. I got a little choked up. Feyre is all I ever was and who I wanted to become. I had a nasty habit of modeling my characters after my personal life. Of my struggles, of my own experiences. They were present if every character.

Feyre was my personal life journey, Rhys was the man I had always dreamed of for that version of myself. Cassian was that older brother I wish I had to bond with, same with Mor. Amren was the voice in the back of my head who always pushed me to my full potential. Nesta and Elain were my reasons for forgiveness.

Azriel was just… Azriel was all of my dark memories and thoughts piled into one character. All my hurt and feelings of misunderstanding was who Azriel was. Whenever I felt like I wasn’t heard or seen for who I was, I went and wrote about him. 

It was a part of myself that I wasn’t ever sure I was going to be able to let go of. He’s the one who started it all, the very first character in my series from nearly fifteen years ago. I loved him with more than just my soul. 

Azriel understood what it was like to be an outcast, to be invisible to those around him, quite literally. During college I wrote just about him for a while, then eventually it became this world inside my head that I would escape to. Just get lost in thought over and over again. It became too big to organize in my head and now the world has ACOTAR. But Azriel would always hold a very special place in my heart, maybe that was why I couldn’t bring myself to let him fall in love. Stupid, I knew that, but he was all I ever dreamed of having, someone to understand me.

I thought I had found it in Jeremy, my ex, but he had other plans. Used my secrets against me. Told me that creating a fictional world was a waste of time and effort. I guess all my New York Times Best Sellers proved him wrong. 

“We should go out!” Mor squealed. 

“I’m in,” Cassian grinned. 

“I get to dress her,” Mor snatched my hand and dragged me towards the archway. 

“Not so fast,” Azriel held out a hand. “I still haven't said hello.”

“Well hurry up, we’ve got places to be,” Mor gave a bored sigh. Azriel pushed off the wall and planted himself right in front of me. My throat went a little dry. Again, he was everything I had ever imagined. Eyes just as hazel, hair just as dark, shadows just as untamed, wings just as big.

“A true honor to meet my fate-maker,” his voice was low, his hand grasping mine. His lips were warm as they pressed against the backs of my fingers. “I have many questions I would like to ask you later.”

All I could do was nod.

~~~~~~~~

Tagging:

@bubybubsters

if anyone saw my draft of impossible part two just pretend you saw nothing. I accidentally published it. Ignore it, it’s not ready or proof read yet.

Golden Boy

Nikolai Lantsov x f!reader

They meet at the University of Ketterdam and sparks fly, but he becomes Sturmhond and she stays behind.

Word count: 5.3k (there's a part two as well send help)

Warnings: swearing, angst, i cried when i wrote this and if it was on paper it would be covered in my tears

Tag list: @bubybubsters, @hauntedenthusiasttragedy, @karensirkobabes, @kentucky-criedfricken, @notoakay, @naushtheaspiringauthor, @el-de-phi, @simbaaas-stuff

Please let me know here if you want to be added or removed from my general Nikolai tag list my lovelies <3

(not my image although i think that's probably obvious)

Y/n was early for her class, which confused her. Normally she was running late, turning up a minimum of five minutes after whatever the event was had started, no matter what, so to be early for once was making her worried. She checked her timetable again, looking at the room number on her paper and the room number on the door, then at the time and date on the paper and the time and date on the huge clock in front of her, all the details matching, and decided she didn't like being early. She also didn't like being late, to be clear; there wasn't much that was more embarrassing than walking in to a room full of people mid-lesson, and having everyone stare at you as you walked to the only available seat that was as far away from the door as humanly possible (which totally wasn't an experience the girl had had before).

Sitting down on one of the chairs outside the classroom, she sighed, hoping the professor would turn up soon. Footsteps started echoing through the corridor immediately after she had the thought, and she was starting to get worried at how lucky she was today.

Maybe I'll go place a bet on something later, she thought. Looking up, however, she saw not the professor but another student, clothes neat and not crumpled at all (the ones she had on were the only clean items she could find on the floor of her room that morning), blond hair perfectly styled (her hair looked like a bird had recently finished nesting in it), and bag slung effortlessly over one shoulder (hers was dumped on the floor, the strap unable to bear more than the weight of a single book most days).

She immediately didn't like him.

When he smiled at her, teeth blindingly white, her dislike grew at this obviously rich posh kid who had never had to ask for a thing in his life, and tried not to physically move away from him when he sat in the seat next to her.

"Are you in 'Languages of the World' too?" he asked.

"No, I just thought I'd sit outside the classroom and wait for the professor of a class I don't attend." His smile faltered slightly, and she felt a little bad. She knew it was harsh, but she had no time for rich kids, and he was obviously one of them. Having grown up on the streets of Ketterdam, working three jobs to pay for her family to stay in a single hotel room, she knew how to suss a person out within five seconds. It wasn't bias, she'd learned how to read body language and facial expressions when she was 9, and it was extremely handy for knowing who to approach and who to avoid in the streets.

"That was sarcasm," she said, even though her voice had been dripping with it just now and there was no way that he had missed it.

"Right..." he trailed off, and thankfully at that moment some other students turned up, giving her an excuse to not talk to him. The professor turned up just as the bell sounded, and Y/n leapt up, desperate to be as far away from Golden Boy as physically possible.

Once inside the classroom, the professor announced a seating plan, and Y/n internally groaned.

Please let me be sat next to someone who has some sort of a grasp on languages, she thought.

In her first week at University while on the hunt for friends, she'd discovered that of all the people in this class, barely anyone spoke something of all the languages taught. Learning other languages had been another skill she'd picked up as a child, since a lot of tourists came to Kerch (although having grown up here, she had no idea why, it was a complete shit hole in her opinion). It had allowed her to get a third job as a translator for some offices, and it paid so well that after only six months working there she was able to drop one of her other jobs.

Finding her name on the sheet of paper the professor had pinned to the board, she went and sat in her seat, taking her books out of her bag. Just as she placed her bag on the floor, she felt someone sit down on her left, and mentally prepared herself for the greeting.

Nothing prepared her for the fact that Golden Boy was her table partner, however, and she choked on her spit. He frowned, concern flashing across his features. "Are you alright? Saints, here, have some water." She took the bottle that he presented, taking a large swig before handing the bottle back to him. Embarrassing that he'd seen that happen, but she had noticed his use of the word 'Saints'. So he was Ravkan. She wasn't sure how she'd missed the slight accent before, but now she knew where he was from, it was obvious.

"I'm alright now, sorry."

"Let me know if you need any more, yeah?" Ghezen's Hand, he even spoke like he'd been raised on caviar and silver platters, despite speaking Kerch.

"I'll be fine, thank you."

Not long after, the register was called, and the professor went round the tables individually. When he got to their table, checking they were there, Y/n almost choked on air again.

"Y/n L/n?"

"Here, sir."

"Nikolai Lantsov?"

What? The professor had made some kind of mistake, surely. There was no way that-

"Here, sir."

What?!

Why the fuck was the second heir to the Ravkan throne in her 'Languages of the World' class? And why was he sat next to her? Although, actually he didn't have much choice in sitting next to her, because of the seating plan, but she chose to ignore that piece of information for the time being. The whole class was tittering, whispers rising as they recognised the name.

"Settle down, students, settle down. Let's get started, shall we?" The professor called, moving to stand behind his desk.

"What. The. Fuck?" she muttered under her breath, although apparently not quietly enough.

"I didn't think he'd do it like that, to be fair. I was hoping I could be a little more incognito, but yes, 'what the fuck' perfectly sums this up I'd say," he whispered, leaning in slightly so that he didn't have to speak so loudly. Y/n refused to turn to look at him, keeping her gaze fixed on the professor at the front of the room and starting to make notes on what he was saying.

The rest of the class passed without too much stress, and luckily Y/n barely had to speak to the prince. No wonder he'd sounded so posh, though. And he probably had been raised on caviar and silver platters. By the time the lesson was over, two hours after it had begun, Y/n couldn't wait to leave. She'd enjoyed learning, but having to sit next to literal royalty wasn't doing wonders for her self-esteem, and her ass hurt from having to sit still on the chair for so long. Packing up her things, she turned to leave, but apparently His Royal Highness Prince Nikolai Lantsov had other ideas.

"I know I haven't made the best impression on you - don't look at me like that, I know I haven't - but did you want to do the homework together? My Fjerdan isn't brilliant, but you seem to be amazing at it, so I was just wondering if you would help?" He looked nervous, hands fidgeting at his sides, pulling at the bottom of his coat. She sighed deeply.

"Fine. Just... try not to be posh or anything. I can't stand it."

"How do I do that?"

"I don't know, do I? If I think you're getting too posh, I'll glare at you and start to leave, alright? Then you know what not to do." She walked off, hoping he'd follow. Sure enough, he did, footsteps echoing as they had earlier. Looking down at his feet she realised that it was because he had fancy shoes on, the kind that she could buy for the price of her house, and scoffed out loud.

"What now? Have I done something posh?"

"No, sorry. It's just that even your shoes are posh."

"Wait," he said, stopping abruptly. She stopped too, half turning back to face him, and frowning when he stuck his hand out. "Hello, I'm Nikolai, but just Nik is fine," he said with a smile, and Y/n's frown turned to an expression of incredulity.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, we got off on the wrong foot, and you don't like me too much, so I figured I should introduce myself the way I should have done before class."

"For the record, this," she waved her hands in his general direction, "is too posh. But fine. I'm Y/n, and don't shorten it, because we're not friends." She took his hand, annoyed when she felt a butterfly take flight in her stomach at how their hands seemed to fit together.

"Yet."

"What?" She pulled her hand back. Enough physical contact for today.

"We're not friends yet. I'm very persistent when I want to be. And I would like to be friends with you."

Y/n snorted. "What for? I've insulted you to your face multiple times the entire time we've known each other, despite the fact that's completely inappropriate."

"That's exactly why I want to be friends with you, because you're not pretending to like me. I could already see everyone else in that class eyeing me up, seeing how they could try and get close to me in a stupid attempt to be able to say that they're friends with royalty. You just ignored me, and to be honest? It felt great."

"Um... you do realise how weird you sound, right?"

"Yeah, I... as soon as I said that I realised. But I mean it, Y/n," he replied, following after her as she started walking again. "It's nice to have to try and make a friend. Wait, that was posh, wasn't it?" At her slow nod he winced, and she felt a pang of sympathy. She supposed that having no idea who your real friends were was something they had in common, and decided she could try being a little nicer to him.

"Look, I'm sorry for being rude and stuff, I just really don't like rich people. I grew up on the streets while I worked 20 hours a day to keep my family in a shitty hotel room and fed and warm and all the rest of it, and when rich people heard about my situation they'd just say 'stop being poor, that'll solve your problems'." He was staring at her, unreadable expression on his face, and it was making her slightly uncomfortable. She'd never not been able to read someone before. "But... I know what it's like to be alone, and honestly Ketterdam is one of the last places you wanna be alone, so if having a real friend is gonna help, then I guess I can let you tag along to my study sessions. This does not mean that we are friends, to be clear. You've still gotta work for that. But I'm giving you extra opportunities, alright?" He nodded, so fast she was worried his head would go flying off, and the smile on his face was so wide and genuine she couldn't help but let a small smile onto her own face.

"You have every right to not like me, especially with a life like that. I'm sorry that that happened, too. But I promise I'll try and convince you to be my friend, and then be the absolute best friend you could ever have asked for."

She rolled her eyes at his words, pushing open the door to the University library. "You are very full of yourself, you know that?"

"I have been told that, yes. Most often by Dominik, actually. But then he's always calling me names, so I feel the need to defend myself by making myself feel important and unstoppable."

Snorting at him she asked "Who's Dominik?", and finding a table in the back of the library and sitting down, she pulled out the homework.

"My best friend, lives in Ravka. He's in the army now, down in the front lines. We grew up together."

"Is he posh like you?"

"Nope. His family lives on a farm. They're better off than they were when we were growing up; I've managed to siphon funds from a noble I don't like to his family so that they don't have to worry too much. The harvest can be rough where they are, so I didn't want them to starve. They always managed to put food on the table when I came over, so this is my way of saying thank you, I guess."

Y/n couldn't help but stare in shock at the prince (who was blissfully unaware as he unpacked his own bag). "Wait. Your best friend is a commoner?"

"Yeah. You'd probably get on, actually. Bond over teasing the shit out of me or something."

"And you're helping his family?"

He paused in his movements, looking at her properly. Seeing the confusion on her face, his own expression softened. "You think it's impossible for a rich person to help someone."

It wasn't a question, but she still nodded. Having grown up expecting the least from everybody, she was used to people with money doing nothing, leaving the poor on the streets. Never, in her life, had she met a rich person that had actively done something useful to help someone else, so to hear Nikolai Lantsov, prince of the Ravkan throne, talk about how he was helping a poor family made her want to hug him.

"You know, usually when people say 'impossible' they actually mean 'improbable'," he said, and she smiled a little.

"That's stupid."

He shrugged. "It's true though. Think about it. You thought it was impossible for a rich person to help someone, but I've just proved to you that it's only improbable, because out of all the ones you've come across, I'm the only rich person you've met that has."

She couldn't deny his logic. "Still stupid. Come on, I heard your Fjerdan earlier, this is gonna take all week."

They spent hours in the library, occasionally getting up and walking around the table to stretch their legs or collect a book, and by the time they were kicked out by the librarian due to closing, Y/n had found herself having fun. He was funny, and actually quite nice, and yes, his Fjerdan was horrific, but he was a fast learner, and by the time they left for the night he had improved significantly.

"How long until I'm fluent, then?"

"Not sure. How long are you here for?"

"Three years, apparently. I might die of boredom before then, there doesn't appear to be much else to do, and my parents want me to do a politics course next year."

"You might die of boredom? What are you, a puppy in need of constant entertainment?"

"Ironically my nickname in court is 'Sobachka', so sort of." Y/n reached her door, pausing outside.

"This is me. This is also not an invitation to be outside my door every opportunity you get, alright?" He nodded. "Good. Night, Nik." She opened her door, stepping inside and closing it again before he had a chance to reply.

~~~

He took every opportunity to be outside her door.

It was infuriating at first, how persistent he was, but after a week of him trailing her heels she figured she should just get used to it.

They spent most evenings in either her or his room (his was significantly more neat and tidy than hers), studying, doing homework, or trying to get Nikolai better at speaking Fjerdan (it really was atrocious, which she couldn't understand since he'd pretty much mastered all the other languages). The rest of the time was spent in lessons, or for Y/n working shifts whenever she had some spare time. Nikolai had offered to help out financially, but Y/n, despite her constant pleadings that rich people would give away more of their money to the people that needed it, refused to take his. It felt too much like she was using him, and given how excited he'd been to have a real friend, she just felt bad thinking about it.

One night they were in her room, Nikolai sprawled on her bed and Y/n picking various things up off the floor and other surfaces in an attempt to tidy. He had an arm flung over his forehead, and a leg dangled off the side of the bed, making him look like one of those ladies in a painting that had fainted onto a fancy sofa.

"You could help me, you know."

"You wouldn't let me. As soon as I touched something you'd tell me not to break it, or that I'm putting it in the wrong place." She groaned at his words, knowing frustratingly that he was right. It was annoying how quickly he'd worked out how to understand her, but then he was a fast learner. That thought made her pause.

"If you're such a fast learner, how come you're shit at speaking Fjerdan?"

"What do you mean?" He removed his arm from his head, opening an eye to squint up at her. "I'm not that bad."

"Uh, yeah you are. I had to teach you the word for 'goodbye' yesterday because you'd forgotten it. Seriously, who is that bad at Fjerdan? I know it's not an easy language to learn, but you've mastered the others." He blushed a light pink, pushing himself up on his elbows.

"I uh, I haven't been entirely honest with you, and when I tell you I need you to not hate me" he started, looking like he was bracing himself for a physical attack.

"What." Her eyes narrowed.

"I'm actually fluent in Fjerdan, I just pretended I couldn't understand it so that we had a legitimate reason to spend time together," he replied, in perfect, unaccented Fjerdan. She froze where she stood, eyes wide, then chucked the decorative pillow she was holding at his head. "Ow!" he cried as it made contact, falling backwards against the covers.

"Well you deserve it, you bastard! You've been lying to me for a week because you were desperate for a friend?! I would have been your friend anyway, you dipshit!"

"You... you would?"

"Yes!" she shouted, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation. Her breath came rapidly, chest heaving from shouting.

"Oh..." he paused, looking bashful. "I just... normally I'm good at making friends, I just figured you wouldn't want to spend time with a rich kid unless you had a reason to. And I really wanted to be friends with you, Y/n."

"Well how did you become friends with Dominik? Pretend you were shit at Zemeni?"

"It was a lot more complicated than that, and no I did not. You know that my Zemeni is flawless," he held a hand to his chest in mock hurt, a pout forming on his face.

"Oh, forgive me for not remembering that when you lied to my face about your Fjerdan!"

"You aren't too mad at me, are you?" he questioned, pushing himself up into a sitting position, worry filling his expression.

"No, I'm not. I just... am frustrated that you didn't tell me sooner."

"I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you!"

"Oh, you don't have to-"

"No, I will," he said, leaping up from the bed to stand in front of her and hold her arms. "I will. Are you free tomorrow evening? Actually, don't answer that, I know you are. I'll pick you up at six bells, alright?"

"Pick me up? Nik, what do you mean?"

"I'll feed you, all you have to do is look pretty and bring your appetite, which shouldn't be too difficult for you given how gorgeous you are anyway, because I'm paying and that's that."

Y/n felt her face warm at his words, and the pesky butterflies that had slowly been waking up the last week fluttered in her stomach.

"I don't have anything nice to wear though, so you'll just have to deal with what I've got and not take me anywhere fancy. Seriously, a street vendor would be fine. And don't spend too much, becau-"

"Saints, please stop talking! I will take you where I want to take you and if you don't have anything to wear then tell me, because I refuse to be seen in public with somebody who's naked, alright?" She hit him (gently), and he jumped back, laughing. "I mean it! Imagine how ruinous that could be for my reputation!" She hit him again, smiling along with him as he picked up a pillow to defend himself. Y/n lifted a pillow of her own, and before long they were having an all-out pillow fight on the floor of her bedroom.

~~~

Y/n was panicking.

It wouldn't be long until six bells, and where she was always late, Nikolai was extremely punctual, and she knew for a fact that he would be knocking on her door as soon as the first bell sounded, and here she was, stood in the middle of her room, surrounded by clothes yet not wearing any of them. She was yet to pick an outfit, and although she'd said to Nikolai yesterday that he'd have to deal with whatever she picked out, and she'd never been one for caring what other people thought of her clothes, but for some reason, nothing seemed good enough.

"Ugh, this is ridiculous!"

It was ridiculous, how much time she had spent on finding the perfect outfit. But for some reason she wanted to look nice for their date- wait, what? Since when had she been thinking of this as a date?!

A knock sounded at her door, three sharp raps, and she knew immediately that it was Nikolai.

"Shit!" she whispered, the word leaving her mouth like a hiss. "Uh, one minute!" She heard muffled laughter (the bastard), and hopped around the room, picking up random items and pulling them on as quickly as she could. Running over to the door, she yanked it open, revealing her Golden Boy, hands in his pockets, looking effortlessly handsome in his simple white shirt and black slacks.

"Are you sure you want to wear that? I know I said I wouldn't judge you, but this outfit is really quite something." He was trying to hide his smirk incredibly unsuccessfully, and she slapped him on the arm, sending him a glare.

"Look, I'm struggling, okay? You haven't told me anything about where we're going, and I have no idea what I should wear!"

"Just... okay." He walked around the small room, rummaging through the various piles of clothes, discarding most and throwing them to the side. "Aha! Here, put these on." He shoved the articles he'd gathered into her hands, then pushed her behind the screen she'd put up in the corner of the room. Changing quickly, and definitely not almost falling over multiple times, she emerged five minutes later, dressed in the blouse and long skirt he'd picked out for her.

"Alright, fine. Can we go now?"

"Hmm?" He turned around, then froze, staring at her.

"What? You were the one that chose this outfit, if there's a problem it's your fault!"

"No! No, it's not that, you just... you look... good," he finished quietly, blushing.

"Oh," she replied, her own blush heating up her cheeks. "Well, um... let me just put my shoes on, and then we can go." He nodded, and watched as she laced up her boots. Opening the door for her when she was done, Nikolai offered his other arm up to Y/n, and she took it gladly (partly to be closer to him and partly to stop herself falling over from how nervous she was). "Actually, where are we going?"

"A tiny restaurant I found on my first day here; the food is incredible."

The walk was short, and it startled Y/n to realise that Nikolai's guards had come with them, trailing behind at a distance. When she'd asked him about it, he just said that they'd always been there, just out of sight. She wondered how many of their conversations they'd overheard, or if they'd picked up on how much she liked her Golden Boy now. She didn't have much time to ponder, however, as Nikolai pulled her around a corner into a hidden courtyard that, in her entire life living in Ketterdam, she had never noticed before.

"What? Don't you like it? We can go somewhere else, if you want? I just thought tha-"

"You're rambling, Nik. And I do like it, I'm just annoyed that you found this place before I did and you didn't even grow up here!"

"Oh! Well that's alright then. Come on!" He seemed to ignore everything she'd said past 'like it', dragging her along by the arm to a table out the front of the restaurant. They were greeted a few moments later, presented with menus and the specials, then left to decide what they wanted. Y/n made her mind up quickly (a habit she'd picked up from not liking being rushed), then took the time to look around.

The courtyard was small, boxed in by tiny apartments on all sides, some with little balconies overlooking the square. The walls were lined with plants, flowers blooming despite it being late in the year, and small lights littered the spaces in between the leaves. It was gorgeous, and she wondered how often Nikolai had come here. Speaking of Nikolai, she turned back to study him. He seemed to be taking extra time to decide what he wanted, brow furrowed as he browsed the menu, biting a nail as he did so. A strand of his hair had come away from his perfectly styled locks (seriously, who had time for that?), and before she knew what she was doing, Y/n was reaching over and smoothing it back.

Nikolai had looked up as she moved, and was now sat staring at her, eyes wide, as her hand brushed his forehead.

"What," he cleared his throat, "What are you doing?" His voice was shaky, and filled with nerves, and Y/n thought he was adorable like this.

"You had a hair out of place, and it was annoying me," she shrugged, leaning back in her seat. "Have you chosen yet?" He nodded, still looking at her, a dazed expression on his face.

"Yeah, I have," he replied, voice quiet, and Y/n got the distinct feeling that he wasn't talking about the food.

~~~

The rest of the evening passed in a blur, filled with laughter and talking, and never a dull moment. There were silences, yes, but they were comfortable, and the longer the night went on, the more Y/n found herself thinking of it as a date.

He might not be thinking it's a date, though. I don't want to get my hopes up.

When they came to leave, Nikolai paid just like he said he would (much to Y/n's annoyance, because she could have paid for her own meal), and they left the courtyard arm in arm.

They were almost back to the University when Nikolai spoke.

"I had a nice time tonight, Y/n." She'd been looking up at the stars, barely visible through the clouds and making her neck sore, but now she turned her head to face him.

"Me too." They were quiet again for a bit, but then Nikolai started huffing, apparently wanting to say something but not finding the words or the courage. "Spit it out, Lantsov."

"Was this a date?"

His words shocked her, and her mind went blank for a moment. At her lack of answer he grew worried, concern that he'd messed things up crossing his features, and she quickly went to rectify it.

"I'd like it to be. You know, if you would. Obviously if you don't then no, but if you do then that's-"

"I'd like it to be a date, Y/n/n."

"Oh. Good. Okay then." Y/n was quiet for a minute. "Good." She winced at herself, cringing at how awkward she was making it, but luckily they pulled to a stop outside her door, giving her an escape. He was smiling at her, a soft smile reserved for her, not one of the blinding ones he used to win people over, and her heart fluttered.

"Night then. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, see you tomorrow, Nik." She went to open her door, pausing for a moment as she made a decision. Reaching up, she planted her lips on his cheek, then hurried inside and slammed the door, leaving him standing in the hallway.

~~~

Three weeks later, Y/n was sat at a table in one of the coffee shops littered around the campus, usually filled with students dead on their feet needing the caffeine to get through a class without falling asleep. She had her notes out in front of her, working her way through an essay she had to write, when a book slammed on the table, making her jump. She looked up, immediately finding the perpetrator.

"What the fuck, Nik? Why would you- oh shit. No. Not that face. That's your 'I have an idea that you won't approve of' face, and we both know what happened last time."

He'd fallen off a wall trying to climb it, saying he could sneak into the principal's office from there. He'd ended up concussed.

"That is not a face I have, and anyway, you've only known me for like, a month, Y/n/n, how do you know what my faces are already?"

"I'm good at reading people," she shrugged. "Go on, spit it out."

"Hear me out," he said, excitement creeping into his voice. He lifted the book in front of him.

"Privateering for dummies? Nik, seriously, what are you gonna do?" He frowned, turning the book to read the title.

"Shit, I picked up the wrong one. I know the basics already, just wanted to learn some history really. Must have left in such a hurry I didn't get the right book."

"What do you mean, you know the basics? You're going round attacking enemy ships in your spare time? Wait, is that why you bailed on me the other day?"

"I didn't bail on you, I forgot, and was busy with something else, so can we please move on from that. And no, I'm not a privateer yet, I just..." he sighed, finally sitting down. "I can't stay here, Y/n/n. I'm bored as fuck and while you are amazing, and learning languages with you is great, I need to be doing more. You know what I'm like, always fidgeting. I think this will be good for me."

"One, you need to actually tell me what you were doing to bail on me, and then we can move on. Two, I know I'm amazing, but thank you for the extra validation. Three, why privateering? Why not become a mechanic or something? And four - don't look at me like that! You can't come in here, dump that information on me and then expect me to just smile and go along with it! Four, what about your obligations? Won't people notice that the second prince of Ravka has disappeared, and then not long later a privateer that looks remarkably like Nikolai Lantsov turns up?"

"All valid points. If you must know, I completely forgot we had plans, and I feel really bad about it, but at the same time I was reading this incredible book that I couldn't put down, and then there was a really hot sex scene, and I-""

"Okay! I don't need the details, thank you!"

"Fine, fine," he said, dodging the straw she threw at him. "Privateering because when I was travelling over here, and this is going to sound really cheesy, but I just felt... at home. I felt more like me than I had for a long time, and when you've spent your life cooped up in a palace, although not cooped up, 'cause it's a big space, but you know what I mean," he paused, frowning as he tried to remember his train of thought. "It felt so free out there, nothing but water as far as the eye can see, and I don't know, maybe I could do more for Ravka out there than I ever could as the spare. As for your fourth point, I'll get tailored, change what I look like, keep a low profile for a little while so the timings don't quite match up."

Y/n was silent for a while, contemplating everything he'd said. "When would you leave?"

"We would leave next week, I've already made arrangements for a couple of things, but pretty much everything else will have to be done on the night, because I can't get everything past my guards. What? What's that face for?"

"'We'?" she asked quietly. "What do you mean 'we'?"

"Aren't... you're not coming with me?" He looked confused, and gods bless him he wore his heart on his sleeve, because his expression was so genuine and so lost that she immediately felt bad for what she was about to say.

"No, Nik," she started gently. "I can't go with you, not when I've worked my ass off my whole life to get here. I need this degree to get a proper job, so that I can support my family, and being with you won't help that." She saw hurt flash across his face, which quickly morphed into a neutral expression, attempted boredom covering up any real feelings.

"Being with me?"

"You know, going and being a privateer with you. Obviously I don't mean literally being with you, or we wouldn't be together, but abandoning all of this? I'm sorry, Nik, but I can't do it, not even for you." He nodded, still no sign of any emotion on his face, and even when she tried hard to read him, Y/n got nothing. She felt horrible, knowing that she was the one that had made her sweet Golden Boy look numb inside, but she couldn't take back her words. She'd worked too hard for this life, and no matter what she felt for the man sitting opposite her, she couldn't just give it up. He stood, taking Privateering for Dummies with him, and left the coffee shop without looking back.

~~~

The next few days were excruciating, having to spend all of her classes with him trying to make conversation while he tried to ignore her, or when he had no choice but to speak to her, answering in short sentences. The professor had noticed, and one lesson asked if Y/n wanted to move, but she'd said no, not wanting to give up just yet. She'd be damned if Nikolai left while they were still on bad terms.

After one particularly painful lesson where he'd spent the entire time pretending he couldn't hear her because his ears were blocked from the bath he took that morning (a blatant lie, she was sure), Y/n approached his dorm door, knocking firmly. It swung open not long after, revealing Nikolai, hair mussed and bags under his eyes. Upon realising who was stood at his door, he went to close it, but Y/n snuck in under his arm, moving to stand in the middle of the room. It was a mess, clothes everywhere, bed unmade, books and papers scattered on every surface. Normally he was the picture of tidiness, and seeing his room so chaotic made her heart hurt. "Nik," she began.

"Just go, please." His voice was tired, assumedly from his lack of sleep, and she started walking towards the door. He opened it back up for her, but Y/n threw her arms around him instead, bringing him into a hug.

"I'm sorry, Nik. I'm so so sorry. Why didn't you tell me you were like this?"

"I didn't want you to worry, darling." He was sniffling against her neck as he wrapped his own arms around her. The pet name made her heart skip a beat, and she didn't understand why he wouldn't tell his girlfriend that he'd been in such a state.

"I'll always worry about you, Nik, you're my best friend," she replied. "And also my partner, which makes the worry doubled."

"Please, just go. I'm leaving tonight anyway, and I'd rather I didn't get caught and drag you down with me." He pulled away from her, wiping his eyes and going to pack more things away. Now that she understood that tonight was the night, she realised that his room was a mess because he was leaving.

"I don't want you to go on bad terms, Nik. What if something happens to you before we see each other again and we don't get a chance to work things out?" Desperation had crept into her voice now, but Y/n didn't care. Not when tomorrow she would be alone again. "Please, just talk to me, we'll figure this out."

He shook his head, shoving more things into the bag on his bed. He pulled on a thick jumper, ears popping out as it came over his head and hair somehow more tousled than it had been before. "There isn't anything to figure out. I want to go, and you want to stay. I was just doing damage control so that when I left it hurt less."

"This is hurting more, Nik, can't you see that? I've spent the last however many days thinking that you hate me because you won't even talk to me, let alone look at me! You might think that what you did was better, but it's not, not in the slightest. Because now I'm scared that you'll just keep pushing me away, instead of helping fix this, and I don't want you to push me away!" He flinched as her voice rose, but she couldn't bring herself to care, not when she now had tears streaming down her cheeks and a lump in her throat at the idea that maybe he was just like all the other rich people, and she was just a charity case to him. She'd been stupid to trust him, to think that he was different, and when he didn't say anything, she huffed, suspicions confirmed. "Fine. Fine. But don't come running back to me the next time you're in Ketterdam because you want someone to be your friend, because I won't be there." She pulled her necklace out, chucking it on the bed. "Keep it, so that you can remember how badly you fucked this up every day you're out on the True Sea."

She was being bitter again, just like when they'd first met, but now she had good reason. She wanted him to have a reminder of her, and her necklace would be perfect. Nikolai was still silent, stood by his bed and staring blankly at the object she'd thrown his way, and when she closed the door behind her, the silver of it was glinting cruelly in the light of his lamp.

wait I actually liked reading this. I never like reading my own fics, what happened to my self hatred?

Book Boyfriends (Xaden x reader)

a/n: random midnight thoughts. Completely random on my phone, not proof read. Just finished fourth wing! Also I have 7 drafts I can’t seem to finish.

⚠️: none?

wc: 640

masterlist

Xaden growled as you shifted again, there was no fucking way he could sleep with you lying on top of him constantly shifting while reading a fictional book. He wondered what in the book made you squirm every few minutes. A plan forms as the gears in his mind start turning, and he grins because if he does this, you will be mad beyond measure. The first rule of dating you was, do not touch my books unless I give you explicit permission. Oh my was he going to break that rule (the only rule).

Xaden surged up, faster than you could react and pulled the book from your hands. Opening it fully, he started at the top of your current page, dimly registering your curses as you tried to pull the book from his grasp.

“His mouth found mine, the kiss open-”

The book was snatched from Xaden’s grip and he was faced with the face of his (currently very mad) girlfriend.

“What the actual fuck Xaden? You know my books are the one thing nobody is allowed to touch! Why in the world would you do that?”

Suddenly Xaden felt immensely guilty and he sat up, arms reaching for your stiff body. He remembered how you’d followed all his rules and didn’t push him to open up. Instead asking politely and waiting for him to meet you halfway. Xaden’s amused face instantly turned into one of regret.

“I’m so sorry y/n, I just wanted to know what you were so engrossed in and why you were squirming constantly right on top of my waist!”

You must have sensed the genuine apology and your eyes softened slightly but you said nothing, just putting the book on top of the bag you’d brought to his room. Sighing you turned to face him, “Xaden, I think it’s time to tell you why the books are so important. I know you’re going to say I don’t have to and I know I don’t. But I want to, I trust you.”

Picking up another book from your bag you flipped through it with a loving smile on your face. Xaden’s heart melted at the sight and he felt a little better. “These books are not from our world, that’s why their covers are so colorful. My dad told me that his great grandfather’s signet was to create a portal to another world. I won’t bore you with the details but the point is, these are the only books of their kind, at least in this world and the only possessions that I have from my dad. Now that you know, you can touch them, but please Xaden. Be careful.”

Xaden smiled at you, of course you would care for things like this, and since you cared, he did to. “I will, and I’m sorry about the stunt I pulled. I just wanted to know.” He opened his arms again, in a silent offer of apology.

You smiled at him and jumped into his arms, “just so you know wingleader, I was reading about my book boyfriend. His name is Rhysand, Rhys for short, Rhysie for shorter.”

You could fell Xaden stiffen against your body as you both lay down to sleep. “What the fuck is a book boyfriend? Aren’t I your only boyfriend?”

You chuckled, flicking his nose, “a book boyfriend is someone in a book that I would wish to be like my boyfriend in real life. And no, you’re not my only boyfriend, just the only real one.”

Xaden grumbles, obviously not happy with the arrangement. He hugs you to his chest, “I’m better and hotter than anyone you could dream of so I think I’d be the only boyfriend needed.”

You just laughed, snuggling into his chest and mumbling, “you tell yourself that.”

Xaden growls. “Rhysie isint even shorter than Rhys.”

You just snort out a laugh.

a/n: ill try to finish my 7 drafts but my last year of hs is starting! So yeah, not much time. Also I fell all my writing is shitty so, goodnight!

schedule (sorry for no updates)

what I’m working on:

Eris week (September 17 to September 23rd)

chapter one of ‘impossible’ prolouge is here

a Remus Lupin fic (at this rate you can expect it as a Christmas present, really sorry)

a fic about Rowan and Aelin’s daughter dropped into prythian (prob out for thanksgiving or Halloween)

I don’t think I’m going to do a ‘share’ part two despite the poll results I just don’t know how to do one

I started a batboys x Illyrian!warrior!reader fic but idk if I’ll finish it

give me your thoughts, don’t murder me for not uploading and please understand that I’m in my last year of high school and it’s kinda stressful for me so.

I love you guys!! 💕