This Isnt A Horny Post Just A Personal Rant So Ignore If You Dont Wanna Read This Downer :P

this isn’t a horny post just a personal rant so ignore if you don’t wanna read this downer :P

i have this awful feeling that i’m literally never going to be able to start testosterone. i get so insanely jealous whenever i see people on here do their injections or talk about the changes they’ve experienced on t and i. want that so fucking bad.

but i’m in a place where i cannot start t safely because of where i live and who i live with. even though im planning on moving out i won’t have health insurance so i honestly don’t even think i’ll be able to start it once i move out and i. don’t know how much longer i can go without it because my dysphoria is genuinely getting so awful.

i feel like i pass okay sometimes now but then people call me miss or her and it just fucking kills me and i can’t anymore. i want to start testosterone so fucking bad and i don’t want to wait for things to start because im so fucking tired of waiting for things to happen.

it’s the same way with getting top surgery. i genuinely don’t feel like i’ll ever be able to get it even though i want it more than anything and most of that is because i can’t afford it. i can’t pay for it and i can’t afford the time off of work that it would take because my job requires lifting a lot of heavy shit and physical activity.

long story short i’m jealous. i’m jealous of other trans guys who’ve been able to start t as teenagers or who are on t now because im not. i hate being jealous bc i know all those other trans guys had to wait for it too.

but i feel like im never going to be able to start it and i cannot stand myself and this body

(i started taking zoloft recently so the icky feelings are kinda heightened right now bc im getting used to the meds)

god i need this rn, need to be able to feel the shift in power dynamics and be put in my place and teased and fucked for playing with him when i was the one in control *_*

Cuteness aggression makes brain go brrrrr

I love being a verse/switch boy dating a verse/switch boy because I’ll be trying so hard to top him, tease him, ride him, overstimulate him. But even with his eyes rolling back, panting and begging under his breath, deep down he knows he’s ruining me too, he knows he’s making my insides stretch and ache while he fills my hole to the brim, and there’s nothing he can do to stop it. All I wanna do is make him feel like my pathetic little toy, but that’s so easy to forget with him. The second he opens his eyes to see me covering my mouth as I try desperately to keep my submissive whines inside, or when my thighs begin to shake and sense I’m gonna slump onto his chest and cling onto his shoulders any minute now, that primal feeling in him never fails to come out and take pity on me. After that point, it’s me who’s hips are being pinned down, marked, being turned into a cock hungry slut, his desperate puppy that begs to be stretched, filled with his loads over and over again. Mocking me with the same humiliating words and praises that left my mouth just seconds ago. Apologising for being so close to making him feel that helpless release that he originally craved and begging for forgiveness through my clenched teeth locked to the base of his neck while he desperately churns up my insides. Then to be told you’re being such a brave boy for taking it all, his perfect little pup, being made to say how completely filled you are to his flushed beaming face as he presses his hands against the base of your belly. Reassuring you it’s okay and you took everything you could like a champ. Hrrgghhffff. Hhhh I need this all over again and again.

ME!! ME!! THIS JS ACTUALLT SO ME WTF

Life when praise kink + degradation kink

AKA my man is sweet talking me while calling me stupid and a dumb dog but i'm so cute for him.

I'm uhhhhhhhhermmmmmmm I uhghghhhhhg I'm soaking through my jeans and silently whimpering in my lecture PLEASE touch me god.

it’s almost time for pumpkin

sticking my dick in a pumpkin, i call that an ejackulantern

Needa bounce on someone’s dick while they call me a stupid mutt and a pretty boy :3

i need ears to pin back when i’m embarrassed and a fluffy wagging tail to be embarrassed about NOW