I Got So Motivated To Write Another Chapter! Thanks For Every Message, Comment, Reblog And Like. Seeing

I got so motivated to write another chapter! Thanks for every message, comment, reblog and like. Seeing my work becoming more and more popular is really rewarding, I'm grateful for each one of you guys 🤎🧸☁️

Hey ,

How you have been . haven't seen you for days I hope you good just checking on you😜 And missing you and your stories too 😉

Take your time to update I hope I'm not bothering you by asking about this just curious 😅

Take care stay hydrated and take your time 😘

Your fangirl 💓

Hi!

I got additional hours at work so that’s why I was absent - so sorry. No, you don’t bother me at all! It’s nice to see that someone is waiting for me to update 😄

I’ve just posted another chapter of “feeling unreciprocated”! I hope you don’t mind being it short, next ones will be longer and maybe more shocking 🤭

Have a nice day! ❤️❤️

I just finished "feeling unreciprocated" and that was amazing I like it are you planning to update nearly. I am excited for next one 🤠

Hi! I’m in the middle of writing another chapter but it can get prolong because I’m preparing another fanfic 🤪 I will try to post it as soon as possible ❤️ have a nice day!

my imagination has no end, i just hit on the idea for a plot twist for "feeling unreciprocated" and it made me laugh so hard and cry at the same time, poor (Y/N) she has to endure it all and well... sorry not sorry 😂❤️

❝feeling unreciprocated❞ chapter 3 | jungkook x reader

summary: Sleeping with one guy after feeling rejected wasn't a good idea, but sleeping with another one and another seemed to be even worse plan. Especially with your handsome crush behind the wall, who is as confused as you about your ways of coping with a broken heart.

chapter 2 | chapter 3 | next chapter

She’s just my roommate.

Those words somehow managed to stay in your head since you walked out of the flat. It was pretty clear to understand, quite straightforward you could say and they cut your skin like some kind of daggers with toxic substances at the end of them. Deeply and painfully. And there you were explaining all the things that weighted you down to the only one person who could stand your messy life.

„You did what?” your friend’s voice went higher than was intended making you cringe in your sit. In fact, it didn’t take much for you to realise how badly you had damaged your reputation and you were bravely enduring it listening to the moralising monologue.

After your accidental meeting with Jungkook’s friends you rushed to Gia as you felt like all the emotions could blow out in your chest in any moment. Firstly, you thought you could save the information about last night for yourself that you wouldn’t need anyone to know about it, but you soon found out you were completely wrong. Just few hours passed and you were dying to reveal your feelings and search for any supportive talk. Secondly, Jungkook didn't even look at you when you waved your hand at him to simply say goodbye and automatically your smile dropped and your heart stopped for a moment feeling offended by his lack of a reply. That totally sucked, but you deduced it could be because of his friends who were first in the picture that moment. You got that, but when you heard those words coming out of his mind, you lost it completely.

“Yeah, it may have happened” you looked at your taken off white trainers that were laying on a car mat.

You had texted her right before stepping out of your flat and running downstairs. Obviously she got the assignment and drove her way to a place where you managed to walk up which happened to be the middle of your neighborhood. She had already prepared all the sweets she had in her cupboard, so you two could munch on them while talking with each other in her car with your legs stretched. You often organize this type of car meetings where you have something important to share, so she knew right away something was in the air and it wasn't anything good.

“I don’t believe you’ve done this” Gia threw her arms in the air gesticulating as much as she could to add some drama “(Y/N), wake up for fuck sake. It's not a romantic comedy” she sounded worried and mad at the same time which didn't surprise you at all.

The situation you got yourself into was far from responsible, but you weren't here to get judge. You needed her ears right now, not just her lips that were moving all the time since you two got into a car.

“I don’t need a lecture, Gia” you stopped her and turned on the heating keeping your eyes at the buttons as you felt overwhelmed by the amount of words “I need a friend, right now”.

Her gaze softened as she let a quiet sigh looking through the front window meditating over your problematic life. She couldn't believe that you got so easily friend-zoned. If you could even say that because in Gia's opinion Jungkook wasn't your friend. In her eyes, he was just enjoying your stable nature and exploring the area far from his favorite places and people like clubs and drunk friends just to see what is it like. Her worry was justified by her observations and your occasional talk that involved Jungkook. She heard it all, that he was almost every night out of home, that he got many texts from girls and that he wasn't interested in anything but good fun. Gia was aware that it wasn't wrong of him to do such things. They were young trying to experience as much as they could and it wasn't the problem at all. The real problem was that you were his roommate and in addition you were his complete opposite. You two got along, she got it and it was totally fine, but since you developed feelings for him you started to wear blinkers. You stopped caring about yourself, your self-esteem lowered down and you stopped going out as much on Fridays because of your movie nights with him not even taking a step back and looking at the situation with clear vision. You didn't even try to think about whether he had true intentions or you were his excuse not to go out with his friends because he needed one day off to sober up. Gia saw him differently than you worried if he was really worthy of your time and then you did this because of lack of other options. It was disappointing how much you were depending on him. You weren't yourself, but she was your best friend. She had your back even if your decisions were nothing but stupid and even if you had a crush on Jungkook. They were your valid feelings and she respected that.

“Sorry, I just can’t believe you slept with this guy” she started again this time with a tranquil voice “Like... It’s just not you” she leaned back on the car seat breathing out the air.

You knew that it wasn't something you usually did, correct, you never did that in your life, but you didn't feel guilty or shame for what you have done. It was an adult decision, quite spontaneous and impetuous, but only your decision which might or not be a bad one. You didn't care as much as there was no way back. Time couldn't be turned back, so in your opinion there was no point in dwelling on the subject more than it was needed. What's done is done, you shrugged your shoulders carelessly thinking if your reaction was appropriate taking into consideration that you had just given yourself to a random guy. Were you this stupid or infatuated? Or maybe it didn't come to you yet and when it does it will be two times harder to handle. You bet it would be the second option, but for now you were living in your pink bubble until it would pop. However, small talk with Gia wouldn't hurt you, maybe you would even come to your senses after that.

“I know, right. It was so random” you bite your lips playing with a strawberry jelly in your fingers “I'm trying to understand how it happened, but it just happened, I guess. He texted me first, then I texted back and agreed for a meeting. That's all" you put a sweet in your mouth.

Gia observed you carefully for longer that it should last as if she wanted to say something, but was hesitant to speak up. You gave her the chance to choose the right words, but nothing came from her mouth so you decided to help her as you noticed she kept fidgeting in her seat.

"What is it?" you asked eventually with hidden curiosity.

“Did you have orgasm at least?” she blurted out "Well, I mean if you had to have sex, you should enjoy it at some point".

When you thought about it, you realized you hadn't reached a peak while doing it with him, even though he wasn't bad at this stuff. Hyun Woo was almost perfect guy to have sex with. You just didn't feel anything towards him so it might have been the reason for not breaking the record - it was just meaningless sex. You weren't all in it and actually he had put more effort than you did. Despite the foreplay and kissing it just wasn't it. You enjoyed it, but they only word that fit to describe was 'fine', nothing too extraordinary or fulfilling, which kept you wondering how it would be with Jungkook and it was a nasty thing to do taking into consideration you 'cheated' on the idea of him with another guy.

“No, that's the problem” you groaned sadly biting your inner cheek “But he was nice. He gave me flowers” you took a glance at her waiting for her to say something uplifting, but she just looked at you with a visible grimace.

“Its the bare minimum, (Y/N)”.

It was funny for Gia how readily you got satisfied with mundane things that guys did and she contemplated why you were fulfilled with just a smile that Jungkook offered you or even worse - just a look. Something told her that it was simply a phase that would pass anytime soon. She had to wait for his wrong move, something that would unfortunately break you so you could understand it wasn't worth it, but somehow she wished for happy ending for you. Gia just didn't trust Jungkook.

„Well, maybe for a relationship, but last time I checked it was just a hookup” your sarcasm was perceptible, but you weren’t mean to her while doing it “In this situation it was the maximum and maybe even more than that”.

„But he failed in giving you orgasm” Gia reminded you again emphasizing the problem in this case, though you were right in this case.

“He wasn’t supposed to give me one. It's not a must” you took Hyun Woo's back a little bit guilty to talk about him like that, though you weren't close with him “But I admit, it would be a pleasant addition if he did”.

"And how was he? In general".

“Good. He started with foreplay, that's a plus. Very handsy, I must say” your reply sounded stiff because it turned out that it wasn’t comfortable to talk about such stuff out loud “But he didn’t listen to me most of the time, he just went for it, you know” some flashbacks from yesterday hit you while you were narrating your previous night.

“The worst type” Gia squinted her eyes judgmentally “Peasure-seekers”.

Pleasure-seeker. You wanted to pin a blame on somebody else than yourself, but there was no one else to accuse. Your decision changed your vision when you weren’t even looking, were you such a person? You pushed these thoughts away as if you tried to avoid the judgement. It scared you to be this person, searching only for pleasure, not taking into account somebody else's feelings. It scared you that Jungkook could be one.

“If you put it that way I may have been this pleasure-seeker” you joked, but even to you it didn't come as funny "I mean I looked for a hookup, just like him".

“No, it's different!” Gia rapidly denied your theory seeing your expression lowering down “Okay, maybe not so different, but different in some way. You looked for... fun?” she tried to make it sound less horrible, but she failed obviously. It was a stupid explanation.

“That's the same" you said it more like to yourself as you felt creeping guilt you hadn’t felt before. Maybe you should have thought twice before introducing Hyun Woo to your bed. Maybe you shouldn't have started this talk with Gia seeing how your feelings were changing. Regret was coming out of you.

“Again. What were you thinking?” she changed the subject knowing her efforts weren't effective in making you feel better “That a random hook-up would change your mind about your crush?”

It hit you hard how weird it sounded from her lips and it was another reason to bury yourself in a grave from embarrassment. You knew she tried to understand you and give you a hand, but apparently it only increased your self-doubt.

“It was supposed to be exactly like you said” you nodded weakly realizing how silly it must have been.

“And?”

Nothing. You couldn’t take it as a win if your mind kept wandering to Jungkook through the sex session. You couldn’t take it as a victory if you almost cried in front of the guy realising you still have your crush on your mind and it didn’t want to let you free.

“It was close at the beginning, I thought maybe he would kick him out of my head because I felt excited, really” your lips were sealed in a thin line as you didn't share more details “And suddenly this feeling disappeared and I just… hate it more and more as we continue”.

“No brainer” she rolled her eyes sighing deeply “It would be easier to just tell him how you feel”.

“It would be way harder, are you crazy?” skin on your head wrinkled as you raised your eyebrows.

“Me? Crazy? Let’s not forget you are the one who found a random guy from the Internet and invited him to your bed. It's a fucking circus” she scoffed, but smiled at the end “Girl, it can’t get any worse”.

“Okay, okay! Just listen to me and try to imagine this” you raised your hands to show an invisible rainbow “Me, Jungkook’s roommate, after having a random hook-up to forget all about him, tells him how badly I’m crushing on him since I moved in. How does it sound? Gia, he would either start searching for a new candidate for his roommate or he would kick me out. I’m not even prepared for higher bills” you gesticulated with your hands in a chaotic way.

“Are you worried about him kicking you out?” her eyebrows snapped together and her head went back as if she were disgusted with this idea. She would kick his ass if he did that to you.

“No? Maybe? I don’t know, it’s just a side story. I don’t think he would dare, he isn't like that” your words were galloping so as your thoughts which contradicted each other as in your mind there was a total mess.

“He would be a fool if he did that” she put her hand on your shoulder and rubbed it gently trying to soothe you “But if he did, you could live with me so give it a try. You have some options”.

“No, thanks. I prefer peace not trouble” your response was immediate "Maybe Hyun Woo wasn't the appropriate guy to work this out".

"I don't think that any guy would solve your problem".

"And I think there is still a chance" you were adamant.

If you stopped, you would think 'well, it's not working, let's stop", but you didn't stop and you didn't think. You choose to hold tightly to the idea that another guy would heal your heart so strongly that you missed the craziness of it and it was a bad omen.

“Is it even his apartment?”

“It’s his uncle’s free flat. He rents us for a lower price”.

“I see” Gia mutter something under her nose “Maybe try to give yourself a little bit of space”.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean if you can’t just tell him… don’t force yourself for now” she started to count it on her fingers “Go out, try new stuff like food, maybe a hobby, meet new people, go travel somewhere. Just don’t be in your shared flat. It's stealing your positive energy, you think about him all the time because everything reminds you of him”.

“Should I distance myself?”

“Well, if you don’t want to tell him then why should you keep bringing yourself down everyday” he shrugged her shoulders “Be brave or find another solution, girl. It’s not the end of the world, after all. You know it, you have just proved it with this guy so it can’t be that hard”.

"It’s just difficult because we live together”.

“Then maybe start searching for another flat”.

You bite your lips knowing you couldn’t afford apartment that was as close to your collage as this where you lived. It wasn’t an option and deep down you didn’t want to leave.

“Not possible” you uttered “Not for now” you added so she wouldn’t ask about this topic.

“Do you even talk with Jungkook?”

“Yes, of course I do. I’m not a creep” you rolled your eyes hearing her silly question “Not everyday, though”

“And everything is fine between you two? Is he rude to you or something?”

“Yeah, everything is perfect. We don’t argue and him insulting me? It never happen, but maybe it is because he’s not at home so often” you replied confused by the question „How come?”

„I’m just searching for an excuse for you to ditch your crush” she folded her arms thinking heavily.

“And? How it is going?”

“Terrible” she put it bluntly “He’s fine. I just feel like your relation is neutral”.

“Well, that was the problem till today” you rambles on this time with more sad voice “He just told his friends I’m just a roommate”.

“That’s the truth, you know?”

“What should I do then?” you breathed out the air after you had gave her deadly stare.

“I don’t know maybe mix his socks or…” Gia thought for a second looking for some solutions “Drink his favorite milk or juice or…. break his pad. Nothing could break a man like a damage pad” she gave you examples to make him hate you.

“That would be so stupid” you laughed at her “But I will let this go as a plan C”.

“Not plan B?”

“No, it’s a way too risky for a plan B”.

“There you go, you smile” she beamed at you victoriously “My mission as a best friend is accomplished”.

“You’re crazy, Gia”.

“So are you, but seriously go out to people, stop living only for this shitty idea of romance”.

“But he is not shitty” you moaned leaning your head on her shoulder.

“I know” she hugged you which happened to be very uncomfortable as there was little space in a car.

You took your phone still having her arms around your body.

“See” you press his instagram account.

His account was minimalistic and almost empty, but he still managed to post some photos so anybody could grasp the idea of him. On every picture his tattoos were exposed even long sleeves and hoodies didn't prevent him from showing them off. Just every time he had them more and more on his body and it was a nice view for every female creature. One image was taken in someone's car while he was sitting on the passenger sit looking at his phone with a smile and the other one with his friends with drinks up. That was him.

“Okay, he is a perfect candidate for a hot boyfriend. I must say that” Gia nodded her head in approval looking at the pictures you showed her "He's handsome, but look! Maybe that's it? You are just attracted to him, that's all".

"That's how crushes work" you murmured while starring at his profile picture "It's not like I'm in love".

“Okay that’s enough, we don't have time for these googly eyes" Gia clapped her hands and reached out to you "Give me your phone. I'm confiscating it" she tried to take it away from you but you managed to back away a little bit.

"Forget it, you are not my dad... Hey!" you shouted and laughed at the same time when she snatched away the device "Give it back now".

“I won’t! You need to cut him out from your…” she looked at the screen with panic “Oh”.

“Oh?”

“Is there a chance that you had followed him before?” she asked this question very carefully being scared of your reaction.

“No, why?” your eyebrows snapped together not getting her point.

“Well, now you do”.

“What?!” you screamed trying to get back your phone to see the mess she had made “Oh god, give it to me! What should I do now? Unfollow him?”

“What? No, it would look stupid” she immediately took this idea out of your head “Please, tell me how is it possible that you haven’t followed him before?”

“I don’t know! He didn’t follow me so I didn’t either” you said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Well maybe he couldn’t find you? You have your name and some random letters in your nick and nothing else. You haven’t even your surname”.

“Namjoon did find me” you murmured in defence.

“Well maybe Jungkook isn’t that smart” Gia shrugged your shoulders.

“Fuck, what now?”

“Just wait. It's only Instagram, right?"

"And following him after few months? I don't think so" you were stressed out.

"I'm so sorry, but it can't be that bad. It's just a follow, (Y/N)".

"First, you tell me to distance myself from him and then in behalf of me you follow the same guy I'm trying to push away. Where's the logic?" you moaned a little bit angry at your friend.

"It was an accident and I'm really sorry" Gia tried to light up the atmosphere as she knew her move made unnecessary problem "Calm down, (Y/N). It's almost nothing".

"I don't know... How did you even... You're right, sorry" you sighed and turned down your phone "I've been thinking too much lately".

You leaned your head on the cold window and closed your eyes. It was high time to focus on yourself which was quite a challenge these days. Of course, you managed to have some days off, but often your head was occupied by negative thoughts and thoughts about Jungkook. But there had to be a limit. You weren't crazy about him, but you weren't indifferent either. You were constantly hanging in a middle and you wanted to get out of it, you had to make a choice on which side you were. It was either to tell him about your crush or keep your mouth shut and move on.

"Should I really tell him?"

"I guess so" she nodded and added “If you don’t want to go crazy in the near future”.

Maybe it should have been considered by you earlier. Confessing would show you if you had a chance with Jungkook or where you were standing when it came to his feelings. It could make your life easier or harder and it was depended on him which drove you nuts. You were mad that you had lost control over it. It seemed like you had it for most of the time - you had been surviving it with a satisfying outcome but something changed for the past few days. It got stronger and more noticeable and at the same time more difficult to cover in his presence. You became skittish and nervous when you spent time together which might be visible on the outside and it was something you strongly wanted to avoid. Maybe it was happening on a purpose. Maybe you should come out to him. You couldn't even hide it well lately, anyway.

"Come on, (Y/N)" she woke you up from intrusive thoughts "Let's go somewhere, we won't sit here forever".

"Let me grab my things" you said putting on your trainers and your cardigan that was laying on the backseat.

You were still siting in Gia's car wrapping material over your body, when you feel buzzing in your pocket so automatically your hand went to your sweatpants. You took your phone and looked at the screen.

"Gia?" your best friend was about to get out from the car, but you stopped her by catching her hand with your eyes glued to your phone.

"Yes?" she turned her head towards you confused by your sudden move.

There was an odd, but pleasant feeling forming around your tummy that indicated your building excitement because of what you had just seen. A lump in your throat was becoming bigger, but somehow you managed to choke out:

"He followed me back, just now".

Gia's eyes went wide. She immediately shut the door with a loud bang and hung over your shoulder to have a better view.

"Let me see that" she whipped your phone from your hands and started to look through the notification completely focused "He liked your photo a minute ago".

"He did?"

"Look" she put the phone so close to your face that you had to pull it away as you didn't see anything from such a distance.

It was your favorite photo of you and your sister's dog Nala. This poor thing struggled with her health as she got diagnosed with cancer when she was on her regular checks at vet's. It was sudden, but fortunately they said it was an early stage, so your sweet Nala had really high chances to survive and she did, but on the condition they had to amputate one paw. It was heart-breaking to see her learning how to walk again. Just before you moved out, you had taken the selfie where only your face and Nala's head was in the frame. Your lips were forming in a duck face and dog stuck out its tongue. Both of you were laying on the fresh green grass and the sky was bright blue then. You remembered it well.

“Just so you know. It indicates nothing. He nas already said he didn’t care, right?" she pointed a finger at you as if she wanted to warn you "Don't overthink it".

"I’m aware, Gia".

❝feeling unreciprocated❞ chapter 2 | jungkook x reader

summary: Sleeping with one guy after feeling rejected wasn't a good idea, but sleeping with another one and another seemed to be even worse plan. Especially with your handsome crush behind the wall, who is as confused as you about your ways of coping with a broken heart.

warnings: +18

note: Thank you so much for your feedback! I couldn't believe how many of you liked the first chapter, it means a lot. I'm not sure whether my style of writing is good enough, I tend to write long descriptions of mundane things which might be boring to read, but I think it's real and gives a lot to the story. Let me know, I may improve the story :) Have a nice day!

trailer | chapter 1 | next chapter

It was suffocating to know that you were almost cheating on your true feelings right in the moment. You couldn’t breath from guilt building in your heart as it felt completely terrible to consciously muffle them down just so you may find peace when he was in your presence. So you could remain emotionless to the joy that came from interacting with Jungkook.

It was so wrong but so right at the same time, giving you nightmares and surprisingly rest in mind. It would be easy one thing, you thought, and it would be all done with this specific guy and Jungkook forever. You wished this night would close the most distraught chapter in your life so you had prepared seeing it coming up to a close. Before he came, in the morning you were breathing steadily while looking at the plain white ceiling trying to remind yourself when did you fall asleep. The fact that you weren’t woken up by your alarm signalled it was earlier than usual so you just stayed in your bed a little bit longer with intention to make yourself a warm coffee in a moment. The reason your body decided to wake up at five o’clock may have been becuase of your brain knowing you were waiting for a reply from this guy. Magically, it wanted you to get the answer as fast as possible and stop worrying about whether he thought if you were crazy or not. In the evening you managed to take a long, hot shower which was previously interrupted by a message, but it fulfilled its function as it released the tension from your muscles.

You didn't want to use your phone right then. You made an excuse that the reason behind it was just to start this morning differently and perhaps break a bad habit, but to be honest you were still wondering if a hookup was a decent idea and if your decision-making device in your head was in order those days. Probably not, however it was the first step to drag yourself away from Jungkook. Once you tried to suggest him somebody in his environment may have feelings form him, but he brushed it off with a laugh saying it's too bad as he was not interested in anyone that time. So you presumed that if he's not attracted even to hot girls in a club then it felt like you did not stand a chance with him really, so trying to make him see you more than just a far friend was pointless in your opinion. Maybe if he had showed some signs that he was interested in a romantic way, you would have taken the action, but he gave you nothing apart from your movie nights and saying hello during the day. It was the moment you felt rejected even if you didn't confess to him and you didn't get the answer. It was clear enough and you weren't even mourning. It was like it was. The whole situation got accepted by you, just not by your heart, but you were slowly handling it.

When you went out of your room you knew he was in a flat. Keys that were laying on the foyer console hit you with thought that yesterday you didn't have a opportunity to see Jungkook after your movie night which you found quite odd comparing to the other ones that were full of jokes and just light atmosphere. You had no idea when he got home, but his keys gave away his presence, which made you settle down. For some reasons you felt calmer when you knew he got home safe, that he was near although you might have not exchanged any words. It didn't matter. Perhaps, it would change soon, you came to conclusion as you analyzed your texts with a guy named Hyun Won.

At the beginning they were quite normal texts where two people wanted to know something more about each other... until they weren't and it wasn't even a slow process. They soon intensified and escalated to the point you doubted who you really were. Topics changed drastically to more nasty ones and he got straight to the point you wanted to make from the start. You just didn't get the answer from him as he became inactive.

You winced at your cringey ways.

"Fuck it, now or never" you murmured against your mug with coffee and entered your password "Please, just don't block me, stranger".

To your surprise it didn't happen, though it made you look like a simple night lady, which wasn't something you were proud of, but hey! You had a fine explanation for it - people your age were doing the same things and maybe even worse over and over again. And sex? Sex was normal, right? Okay, maybe not with strangers, this part was obvious, but again it was totally normal to make love spontaneously. Moreover, there was a new message written at one in the morning in your box "can't wait to see you in bed this evening", so the guy was keen on meeting with you, therefore it couldn't be that horrible. He didn't shoo you off. You read it again with frowned eyebrows because you believed there was something you had missed.

"This evening?" you touched your forehead with your hand letting out a groan "This can't be...".

And another one that came after it: "your place?"

You were hoping to do it rather somewhere else than in your apartment, but what would be more responsible in this situation? Be killed in somebody's house and as a result nobody would be able to find your body or in yours where everyone knew where you lived? Well, both options sucked to be honest. He would have known where you resided if you invited him over. You consented in the end hoping Jungkook would be away at some party which was highly likely. And it happened. He did informed you again he would be out this evening. It made you roll your eyes in annoyance you felt knowing there was no hope to make him change his mind so you could text the guy you couldn’t meet, that something important popped up and you’re truly sorry which would be a lie. But Jungkook decided unconsciously not to make your life easier and there you were giving yourself to a guy you knew only from the Internet and his skills in bed that he wanted to show instantly in your bedroom.

“Fuck, baby” you heard husky voice in your ear while your body shivered from cold as you found yourself in situation where no material was covering your skin “You’re a fucking angel, I hope you know that”.

You were completely naked, laying on your bed waiting for his moves as you didn’t have enough courage to take initiative, but he seemed not to mind. You felt light, feather kisses going from your jaw down to your collarbones which made you close your eyes. It felt weird, pleasant but odd as your body was becoming covered in red marks and tracks of teeth.

“Thank you” you whispered touching his chest with your hand as if you wanted him to slow down the peace, but he didn’t get the signal which irritated you much “Could you please do it slower?” you gasped as it hit you even harder.

He was muscular and handsome even but he wasn’t a good listener, though he did everything like it should be. He brought you flowers, a small cute bouquet that now beautifully decorated your foyer, but soon after he had given them to you, he grasped your hips tightly bringing you closer to his body and smashed his lips into yours starting your way to your room. Like he was trying to be a gentleman whom he wasn’t, but at least he tried to mimic gestures and actions that could only resemble a guy with good manners.

“Shit, but I want you so bad” he moaned in your lips thrusting into you harder and harder which didn’t hurt fortunately, but it could, seeing only lust forming in his eyes “So bad, angel. I think I might be coming” he groaned keeping his peace the way he wished not really taking into consideration your needs.

You weren’t close although it felt good to have his hands wandering on your waist and sometimes grabbing one of your breast and caressing it with fingers. But it wasn’t even near to your fantasy dreams with Jungkook in the main role which made you slightly wet even with just thinking about such kind of scenario. You felt shame when the ideas came to your mind but you couldn’t help it sometimes when you caught his smile towards you contemplating if it meant something more. Often you were dragged away by your feelings immersing yourself in pleasure of dreaming about him in general which was not right in the end.

“I don’t want you to come yet” you commanded whining as you sensed your plan didn’t work. As if you wanted to postpone the intercourse because somehow you wanted it to work, to finally change your view of Jungkook in your helpless mind.

It would have to work. There was no way it wouldn’t.

“I know, I know” he cooed holding your hand “Wanna change positions?” he hided his face in your neck trying to shoo away pleasant feeling down his body.

“If it helps” you murmured against his skin knowing it could prevent it from ending the intercourse “Please” moan escaped your lips as he touched you down there with just a tip of his finger.

You pulled yourself up with his help in a hurry and bended on your elbows so he could take you from behind. You heard his deep sigh as he entranced you feeling even much better than before having the access to the deepest parts of your body. It seemed like you felt nothing but physical pleasure and it wasn’t something you wanted to achieve. Your aim was different - you wanted to scream forgetting all about your roommate by hanging out with Hyun Woo. Not just orgasm.

Emotions soon managed to overwhelm you. It was too much for you to handle as you were expecting something more than just a quick fuck with your mind wandering to Jungkook over and over. You uncontrollably let yourself a quite sob knowing it didn’t work. How fucked up it was to hook up with a guy to forget about the other one? It was even more strange that you thought this way was the most reasonable and that dating others would change your point of view.

“Oh, are you crying baby? I didn’t know you are this close” he took a pride in it while having his hand on your butt “Let it go, come with me”.

You just nodded your head so he could take it as as a inverbal yes knowing for yourself it wasn’t true, but how much you wanted it to be. He couldn’t even imagine, in your opinion. You wished it to work, but all you could think about was Jungkook having fun at Vixen’s with his friends and god knew who else.

“You are amazing” he still gave you compliments, but your head wasn’t there.

You weren’t present desiring it to be over so you could lay alone in your bed after having changed your sheets to fresh ones. Your room smelled like sex, this strange smell of light sweat, manly cologne and mint preservatives mixed with the smell of your lavender washing liquid on your clothes and balsams on your skin. If someone had entered your room, he would have guessed you weren’t alone this night, but there was nobody that could really check on you apart from definitely drunk right now Jungkook. But it was too early for him to come home as he tended to come back from 2 a.m. to the early morning.

“I’m so close, fuck”.

You felt how fast he was going with the sounds of slaps against your body which you endured bravely with your fists clenched on your pillow. Soon, he pulled out not wanting to come in you. He did wear condom though and he held it while pulling his cock out to make sure it wouldn’t slip. At least, there was one person that was reasonable in this flat.

You looked around searching for your clothes while he was taking off the condom.

“That was it, I suppose…” you said a little bit awkwardly stroking your thigh from nerves.

As long as there was tension between two of you you felt confident, but it was gone and so was your feeling of casualty and calmness. It made distress you, there was no doubt in it. It was nice to have somebody new in your life, another story to tell and laugh at it, but you were disappointed to say it didn’t do much with your feelings.

“Thanks for your time” you hurried up to find your shirt laying on the floor so you could put it on.

“Can we catch up later?”

The question was totally unexpected as you thought he knew it was just a hook up. You bit your lower lip trying to find a solid lie. You weren’t sure if he was playing with you or he was serious, but you didn’t want to risk hurting his feelings. You knew from autopsy what was it like to like someone who didn’t exactly care about your crush.

“We will be in touch, for sure” you assured him with a fake but soft smile “I just don’t know when I would need…” you tried to find appropriate word but nothing came to your mind.

“A bit fun?” he looked up at you with a grin while putting his boxer on.

“Yeah…” you chuckled amused at least once during this evening, you didn’t want to insult him “We can say that”.

“Great” he smiled to himself gathering his things “Because I’m looking forward to meet with you again. It was a nice treat I must say” Hyun winked at you half-naked.

“I can say the same thing” you put on you rest of your clothes “Thanks for the flowers again” you murmured thinking of his kind gesture from before.

“You’re welcome” he shrugged his shoulders like it was nothing.

You watched carefully as he tighten his belt totally lost in his thoughts. You caught him giving you some glances, so you presumed he wanted to say something, but you weren't sure if you wanted to know what it was. Frankly speaking, for you it was a final and it shouldn't have happened in the first place, but you didn't regret it. Just a new experience.

“Can I kiss you?” he blurted up suddenly.

"What?" you almost choked with air looking straight at his face and then you bite your lips realizing your reaction was too harsh "Sorry, well... I don't think it's... a good idea" you nodded your head to somehow prove your rightness.

He smiled.

“Listen, I feel like it would be our last meeting. You say nice things, but… Just by looking at you, I know you won’t call me again or text me” he sealed his lips in a line and scratched his neck “One kiss, only one? Please”.

He was right. You hoped it was your last meeting and that no more ideas like this would came to your mind.

"Why would you want us to kiss again?" you asked folding your arms "It was just a hookup... I think you know it".

"I know it, so?"

You sighed rubbing your face with your hand trying to focus. Why would he want it to continue? He was supposed to get his things and go out through your doors without any strings attached and you are supposed to close this door and forget about love, boyfriends and all of this shit. But it might have been too simple, too ideal. As always nothing was going as it should have.

He came closer and grabbed your face waiting for your approval. You weren't sure if you should let him do it, maybe it wouldn't do any more harm. Just a small kiss. A peck. Nothing more.

You saw him lowering his head. You still hadn't made your decision contemplating in your mind if it was okay for you to kiss again.

“Hyun Woo…” you took his hands in yours and pulled it away “You should go now”.

It wasn't okay. Not with this state of mind.

"Nice play, baby".

You knew what he exactly meant. You let him come closer, let him believe he would have the chance to touch your lips last time and he was ready for it, but you stopped him. And he wasn't happy about it seeing his facial expression.

"Go, I mean it".

"Yeah, I should go".

You walked with him to your door, passing by flowers from him in a vase and the second he stepped out your flat you shut the door and locked it. It was wrong of you, but from the beginning it wasn't something serious so you allowed yourself for rudeness for once. You just set the boundary he must respected, that was it. Nothing you were guilty of.

You looked around your empty flat, it was almost midnight so it was likely in two or three hours Jungkook would come to your flat silently kicking off his shoes. Then he would bump once or twice on the wall as he wouldn't be sober and he would go back to his room to end his night. You covered your face feeling burning in your eyes, but you didn't allow the tears to fall down. It was your idea in the end, it didn't work, but at least you tried to burn down these feelings.

"Get over it" you mumbled to yourself and made your way back to your room.

You didn't fall asleep until you heard the sound of unlocking the door and clashing keys which gave you a comforting signal Jungkook came back home safely.

*

It was Sunday so it was odd that you were already on your feet picking your outfit. You grabbed your oversized, soft, beige sweatpants, tight, white camis and long socks in the same colour. This set made you desire to come back to your bed, but you were adamant to make use of the morning as you tend to wake up late during the weekend to make up for the lost sleep. Your courses weren't getting easier so your lifestyle was becoming more and more unhealthy each day. This was your day to relax and gain some energy for the rest of your afternoon and evening.

Mentally you were exhausted, mainly because of yesterday's night and the fact that Hyun decided not to let you forget he was present in your room and in your life. Firstly, he had left his undershirt under your night desk. Secondly, he texted you when he got back home and he was waiting for the reply. So it wasn't over yet, but you decided not to make something big out of it and you didn't even read the message from him and the garment he left was thrown into the trash bin under your sink. You had to take the garbage out, anyway.

You had taken your planner with you and made your way to the kitchen, where the first thing you did was to open the blinds to refresh yourself with sunbeams. Then you put the kettle on and made your favorite coffee to start the day.

You took a sip and then you started to scribble in your planner. Apart from your romantic failures you remembered well your other problems and sadly you had to take care of them too. Your finances were tight these month as you spent a good amount on your laptop that decided to log out from life this time forever. Of course you worked hard during summer to earn more money. If it hadn't been for your note-gathering device, you wouldn't have problem with budgeting, but well it was time to find yourself a casual work to pay the rent. Even if you split it between you and Jungkook the cost was still high as you were living almost in the city centre. You couldn't be still depended on your parents, though they still bankrolled you in some ways telling you it's they duty until you are still studying which you were grateful for.

It was almost nine when you finished planning your budget, ten when you finished eating your breakfast and Jungkook still didn't show up or at least leave his room to take a shower. He must have passed out drunk if he slept to this hour. If he was at Vixen's again, but you weren't sure if it was the place he went to. You cleaned your mess in the kitchen and grabbed a thick, long cardigan. You wanted to take a walk to clear up your head, but just before you left the place a black car had appeared in front of your block and you saw familiar faces approaching your doors.

"Hi, (Y/N)!" you discerned your roommate's friends Namjoon and Jimin at once, quite surprised they were here at this early our "Is Jungkook home?"

"I think he's still sleeping, but yes" you chuckled seeing him rolling his eyes "Were you supposed to meet with him now?" you asked folding your arms to warm yourself up as you overestimated the weather this time.

"Yes" Namjoon scratched his neck thinking heavily and put a question politely "Would you mind if we..."

"No, of course not" you knew right away what he wanted to ask and of course you didn't mind "Come in" you came back to your flat this time with two guys following you to the living room.

You didn't know each other well, but you believed Namjoon was the kindest and always starting the conversations with you. First time you two met, you were kind of uncomfortable as Jungkook also didn't tell you somebody would be with him, and you had been standing in your door in comfy pants and white crop-top with your famous pink slippers with big flamings on them. He wasn't judgmental, he had just smiled at you and started a chit-chat, while the rest of the group stayed in his car waiting for them to hurry up because they were already late for a birthday's party. You didn't meet Jimin in reality, you knew him from Jungkook's story and you sometimes checked his social media, but nothing more.

"I'm (Y/N), by the way" you said to a new guest.

"I know" he chuckled sitting on your legendary sofa "Namjoon showed me your profile and some photos. Sorry if it sounded creepy" he made himself clear right away after he had seen your confused expression.

You started grabbing Jungkook's things and yours so his friends could feel less overwhelmed by your small mess. His pads from the console and your DVD's that weren't even scratched after all these years of having them in your possession. They were a gift from your sister after she had moved out from city so it was no way you would damage them in any way.

"Sorry for the mess, he hasn't told me you were going to come" you explained and smiled at them having all these things in your hands.

"Just leave it, (Y/N)" Namjoon waved his arm at you "He could move his lazy ass too" you giggled, but did it anyway not wanting to leave the room in front of them looking like that.

"He'll get out soon guys" you informed as you heard a noise of opening doors from Jungkook's room and running water in a bathroom, so you guessed he had woken up and started getting ready "Do you want something to drink?" you asked and just before you took a step towards the kitchen your phone started buzzing.

"No, but thanks" they both replied so you let yourself take phone in your hands again this morning to check who was bothering your peace.

Another messages were waiting for you to open them and all of them were from Hyun Won, unfortunately he didn't give up. You looked at the display of notifications and rolled your eyes. He made quite sexual remarks in them so you would have hidden under the ground if someone had read them right now. You put your phone away, but it didn't stop giving out rings and sounds, which made you even more mad at yourself that you texted him first.

"Wow, it seems like someone desires your attention" Jimin winked at you with a playful smirk "Who's that?"

"Nobody, really" you answered his uncomfortable question knowing he didn't have anything bad in mind, you presumed he just wanted to have something you could talk about as you two just met "Just a... friend. I guess" you were getting lost in your words as you didn't know how to cover the subject without disclosing details to almost a stranger. You only trusted Gia with these matters, but this time you weren't sure if you would like to share it, even with her.

"Jungkook! Did you know your cute roommate has a boyfriend?" he shouted which met with Namjoon's deadly stare "I would check him out if I were you" he tried to hover over the table a take a look at your screen, but you took your phone immediately from reach of his sight.

"Jimin!" Namjoon pushed him back to the sofa, but his action was met with a loud laugh from intruder and you just blushed at the previous words heavily. You wanted to get out from here as quick as possible because no way you could handle his friends knowing how much impact Jungkook's topic had on you.

"Stop saying shit" you mumbled embarrassed to Jimin "It's not my boyfriend" you didn't know why you were even explaining yourself to him, it wasn't your obligation, but you wanted to make it clear so no gossips could travel to the ears of Jungkook's circle of friends.

"But soon to be one?"

"What did you read?" you raised your eyebrow quite angry with him inside.

"Not much, but enough to know what is going on" he winked at you in a friendly way.

"Oh, shut your mouth, Jimin" Namjoon slapped his head "You're making her uncomfortable".

It was really not okay to look at private text and of course you got mad until you reminded yourself that you did the same thing with Jungkook so you just sighed with a mild smile. You weren't going to be hypocrite.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have" he said to you still being in a good mood and trying not to beam too much "I was just kidding".

"It's okay, just..."

"Stop harassing my roommate, fuckers" Jungkook said entering the room "She pays half of my bills" he added.

He had in fact overheard the conversation, but didn't made out everything as running water muffled their voices. Despite strongly believing in his friends' ways with girls, he decided to hurry up as he didn't think leaving you to take care of them alone was a good idea since they were very specific. The first thing he was worried about was you getting overwhelmed by them and silly things they tended to say, the second one was Jimin's flirtatious nature that could effectively scare you off. It felt like it was his responsibility to keep his friends in check. Especially when you kindly welcomed them, although you could have ignored them and keep minding your own business. He didn't even blow-dry his hair.

"Talking about finances in lady's presence? Where are your manners?" he was met with a snarky comment.

"Fuck off, Jimin".

"You look like shit, man" Namjoon changed the topic and it seemed like he noticed his unhealthy appearance too, but Jungkook answered nothing not wanting to raise a subject in your presence and you noticed it right away.

"Morning" he murmured towards you with a soft voice and you just smiled sadly in return which he didn't catch as he turned back taking his energetic from the fridge "You can throw them out the door next time. You have my allowance".

"Thanks, Jungkook" you saw Jimin folding his arms "I love being your friend, seriously".

"And I don't" Jeon opened the can and shrugged his shoulders looking at you "Make them wait, don't bother to even get up".

"I wouldn't do that, you know it" you shook your head and bended down to put your mug to the dishwasher.

Jungkook watched you carefully as you lower down your body.

Your white cami had a large neckline so it exposed your chest even more when you leaned down giving him the full view of your breast and even the scratch of your light pink bra. Both of the garments had a lace on them so it gave him girly vibes which in his opinion suited you well. He licked his lips hooking against his ring. To him, you came as a the nicest girl who couldn't hurt even a fly and he liked your presence and he? He was the opposite, which kind of prevented him unconsciously from bending with you or creating any relationship apart from being your friend. It was sufficient regarding his ways. Jungkook was a heavy partier, you were stay-at-home person, at least he had such a view of you and it wasn't something negative. He was just attractive to different type of girls and he liked their attention and that there was no drama in his life because both sides knew what they were signing for. With you it would be completely another story, he would have to go out of his comfort zone if he had something in mind with you. Relationships were something new to him and he didn't want to explore it.

But when he noticed some red marks on your breast which had signs of trying helplessly to cover them with some concealer his mind went numb. The hickeys on your soft body which he discovered by accident didn't get slipped through his sight and then he connected the dots. The flowers in the foyer, your tired expression and signs of sex on your skin. Were you with some guy yesterday when he wasn't home? He got lost in thoughts. He wasn't sure, because when he came back all the lights were down and there was silence so he knew you were asleep or at least laying in your room.

Maybe naked, which kind of turned him on and made him feel guilty.

But it couldn't be, right? He didn't catch any tracks of a guest or maybe he was just too drunk to notice them. Moreover, you never invited anyone to your house and he didn't either to respect each other spaces and boundaries. And you didn't have a boyfriend, but maybe something changed. He felt something weird inside, like a small, mischievous sting which was enough to bother him in some ways.

He let it go with a frowned expression on his face. It wasn't his business whether you were dating somebody, it shouldn't be at least, but when he heard the scream from the living room about you having somebody and Jimin's remark about you being cute he got irritated and rapidly put his boxers on to get out from the bathroom. He was going crazy, he thought madly about himself.

"You good?" Namjoon asked waking him up from his thoughts.

"Huh?" he looked at him realizing you were no longer present in the kitchen.

"You didn't answer her".

"Answer who?"

"(Y/N)" Jimin rolled his eyes and laid himself on the kitchen island having changed the previous place "She said goodbye to you".

Jungkook opened his lips as he got taken aback at first but quickly got himself together not to give his friends something to talk about. Was he really so lost in his thoughts? About you? He let out an angry sigh, he must have got himself together because he thought it was stupid of him to think about his roommate's love life and adding himself to its story. Jungkook didn't even know you well and the only thing he cared about was going to parties and get drunk. Although, he must admitted he liked Friday's evenings with you, it was something different from his routine. Something refreshing that managed to slow down his peace of life. He was always running enjoying his twenties not wanting to sit down for a minute being scared of losing his fun time and thanks to you Jungkook could have a moment of rest.

"I haven't heard" he admitted with a casual, not caring type of voice "Not a big deal, I'll see her later" but inside he hoped you didn't think of it as a insult or that he didn't want to talk with you.

"You watched her boobs then you didn't answer her and now you say it's not a big deal, huh?" Jimin put it bluntly and laughed with the oldest "Are you stupid or me?"

Me, Jungkook answered in his head with a twist. That was so wrong of him to think about you like that.

"We're not blind" Namjoon added sensing Jungkook was faking it "I mean, I wouldn't judge you. She is attractive, but apparently not free".

Not free. So perhaps you had a boyfriend which he didn't know about, but he convinced himself he couldn't care less.

"Fuck it" he took his gym bag from the foyer "She's just my roommate, not my interest. Let's go".