How To Make Your Descriptions Less Boring

How to Make Your Descriptions Less Boring

We’ve all been warned about the dangers of using too much description. Readers don’t want to read three paragraphs about a sunset, we’re told. Description slows down a story; it’s boring and self-indulgent. You should keep your description as short and simple as possible. For those who take a more scientific approach to writing fiction, arbitrary rules abound: One sentence per paragraph. One paragraph per page. And, for god’s sake, “Never open a book with weather” (Elmore Leonard).

But what this conventional wedding wisdom fails to take into account is the difference between static and dynamic description. Static description is usually boring. It exists almost like a painted backdrop to a play. As the name suggests, it doesn’t move, doesn’t interact or get interacted with.

There were clouds in the sky. Her hair was red with hints of orange. The house had brown carpeting and yellow countertops.

In moderation, there’s nothing wrong with static description. Sometimes, facts are facts, and you need to communicate them to the reader in a straightforward manner.

But too much static description, and readers will start to skim forward. They don’t want to read about what the house looks like or the stormy weather or the hair color of each of your protagonist’s seventeen cousins.

Why? Because they can tell it’s not important. They can afford to skip all of your description because their understanding of the story will not be impacted.

That’s where dynamic description comes in. Dynamic description is a living entity. It’s interactive, it’s relevant. It takes on the voices of your narrators and characters. In short, it gives us important information about the story, and it can’t be skimmed over.

So how do you make your description more dynamic so that it engages your readers and adds color and excitement to your story? Here are a few tips.

(I have a TON more tips about setting and description. These are just a few. But I’m trying to keep this short, so if you have any questions or want more advice about this, please feel free to ask me.)

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A Fic Writer’s Guide to Cold Weather Whump

Maybe you got “Hypothermia” on your hurt/comfort bingo square. Maybe you want an excuse for your OTP to cuddle together for warmth. For whatever reason, you’re writing a fic where the cold is the enemy for your characters. But… maybe you aren’t especially familiar with the perils of cold weather.

I rambled a lot about hiding tracks in snow in this post and got some feedback from folks who had never encountered snow, which made me realize that this guide might be handy for writers who live in warm climates!

(Please note that I am not a professional and this information is presented for writing purposes, not actual medical or survival advice)

What Are We Dealing With - Exposure Conditions

The two biggest dangers for characters stuck out in the cold are Hypothermia and Frostbite.

HYPOTHERMIA – the condition of dangerously low body temperature. Normal body temperature is around 98.6 F (37 C). Hypothermia occurs as your body temperature falls below 95 F (35 C). Usually hypothermia is a danger in freezing temperatures, but it’s possible to get it in the 30-50ºF range if you’re wet or not dressed properly for an extended period of time. Basically, any time your body loses heat faster than it produces it, hypothermia can happen.

Three main ways to lose body heat (apart from regular heat loss through radiation) are:

Direct Contact with something cold – A character chained to a cold stone wall, or a block of ice, for instance. If you’re in contact with something that is very good at conducting your body heat away from you, rather than insulating, you’ll chill down faster. (Important for characters with cybernetics or metal limbs! Lookin’ at you, Winter Soldier…)

Water/Moisture – a character taking a dunk in ice water, even for a matter of seconds, is in a serious situation. You can freeze to death very fast in cold water, and even if you’re just wet, moisture conducts heat away from the body. Clothes made of cotton that are wet from snow (cotton is the enemy in winter!) or damp from sweat are also going to contribute to heat loss; a character that’s been sweating from exertion will get chilled quickly once they stop moving. 

Wind – Wind whisks warmth away from your body, cooling you down faster. In cold climates, you often have a weather forecast that includes windchill. This is because, even if the ambient temperature is, say, 25ºF, with 25 MPH wind, you could lose body heat as fast as if you were standing in an ambient temperature of 9ºF (this would be a windchill of 9ºF).

So your character locked in a walk-in freezer will lose heat through radiation, but it will take them longer to become hypothermic than say, a character who fell through the ice of a frozen lake, or a character wandering through a snowstorm with no coat – even if the actual temperature is the same in the freezer, the water, and the snowstorm.

Other risk factors for hypothermia include age (young children and the elderly may fall victim to hypothermia faster), exhaustion, malnutrition, and alcohol (booze makes you feel warm, but it also makes your blood vessels expand so you lose heat faster!).

So, what happens when you’re hypothermic?

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Words to describe someone’s voice :

adenoidal (adj) :  some of the sound seems to come through their nose.

appealing (adj): voice shows that you want help, approval, or agreement.

breathy (adj): with loud breathing noises.

booming (adj): very loud and attention-getting.

brittle (adj): if you speak in a brittle voice, you sound as if you are about to cry.

croaky (adj): they speak in a low, rough voice that sounds as if they have a sore throat.

grating (adj): a grating voice, laugh, or sound is unpleasant and annoying.

gravelly (adj): a gravelly voice sounds low and rough.

high-pitched (adj): true to its name, a high-pitched voice or sound is very high.

honeyed (adj): honeyed words or a honeyed voice sound very nice, but you cannot trust the person who is speaking.

matter-of-fact (adj): usually used if the person speaking knows what they are talking about (or absolutely think they know what they are talking about).

penetrating (adj): a penetrating voice is so high or loud that it makes you slightly uncomfortable.

raucous (adj): a raucous voice or noise is loud and sounds rough.

rough (adj): a rough voice is not soft and is unpleasant to listen to.

shrill (adj): a shrill voice is very loud, high, and unpleasant.

silvery (adj): this voice is clear, light, and pleasant.

stentorian (adj): a stentorian voice sounds very loud and severe.

strangled (adj): a strangled sound is one that someone stops before they finish making it.

strident (adj): this voice is loud and unpleasant.

thick (adj): if your voice is thick with an emotion, it sounds less clear than usual because of the emotion.

tight (adj): shows that you are nervous or annoyed.

toneless (adj): does not express any emotion.

wheezy (adj): a wheezy noise sounds as if it is made by someone who has difficulty breathing.

Words to replace said, except this actually helps

I got pretty fed up with looking for words to replace said because they weren’t sorted in a way I could easily use/find them for the right time. So I did some myself.

IN RESPONSE TO Acknowledged Answered Protested

INPUT/JOIN CONVERSATION/ASK Added Implored Inquired Insisted Proposed Queried Questioned Recommended Testified

GUILTY/RELUCTANCE/SORRY Admitted Apologized Conceded Confessed Professed

FOR SOMEONE ELSE Advised Criticized Suggested

JUST CHECKING Affirmed Agreed Alleged Confirmed

LOUD Announced Chanted Crowed

LEWD/CUTE/SECRET SPY FEEL Appealed Disclosed Moaned

ANGRY FUCK OFF MATE WANNA FIGHT Argued Barked Challenged Cursed Fumed Growled Hissed Roared Swore

SMARTASS Articulated Asserted Assured Avowed Claimed Commanded Cross-examined Demanded Digressed Directed Foretold Instructed Interrupted Predicted Proclaimed Quoted Theorized

ASSHOLE Bellowed Boasted Bragged

NERVOUS TRAINWRECK Babbled Bawled Mumbled Sputtered Stammered Stuttered

SUAVE MOTHERFUCKER Bargained Divulged Disclosed Exhorted

FIRST OFF Began

LASTLY Concluded Concurred

WEAK PUSY Begged Blurted Complained Cried Faltered Fretted

HAPPY/LOL Cajoled Exclaimed Gushed Jested Joked Laughed

WEIRDLY HAPPY/EXCITED Extolled Jabbered Raved

BRUH, CHILL Cautioned Warned

ACTUALLY, YOU’RE WRONG Chided Contended Corrected Countered Debated Elaborated Objected Ranted Retorted

CHILL SAVAGE Commented Continued Observed Surmised

LISTEN BUDDY Enunciated Explained Elaborated Hinted Implied Lectured Reiterated Recited Reminded Stressed

BRUH I NEED U AND U NEED ME Confided Offered Urged

FINE Consented Decided

TOO EMO FULL OF EMOTIONS Croaked Lamented Pledged Sobbed Sympathized Wailed Whimpered

JUST SAYING Declared Decreed Mentioned Noted Pointed out Postulated Speculated Stated Told Vouched

WASN’T ME Denied Lied

EVIL SMARTASS Dictated Equivocated Ordered Reprimanded Threatened

BORED Droned Sighed

SHHHH IT’S QUIET TIME Echoed Mumbled Murmured Muttered Uttered Whispered

DRAMA QUEEN Exaggerated Panted Pleaded Prayed Preached

OH SHIT Gasped Marveled Screamed Screeched Shouted Shrieked Yelped Yelled

ANNOYED Grumbled Grunted Jeered Quipped Scolded Snapped Snarled Sneered

ANNOYING Nagged

I DON’T REALLY CARE BUT WHATEVER Guessed Ventured

I’M DRUNK OR JUST BEING WEIRDLY EXPRESSIVE FOR A POINT/SARCASM Hooted Howled Yowled

I WONDER Pondered Voiced Wondered

OH, YEAH, WHOOPS Recalled Recited Remembered

SURPRISE BITCH Revealed

IT SEEMS FAKE BUT OKAY/HA ACTUALLY FUNNY BUT I DON’T WANT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD Scoffed Snickered Snorted

BITCHY Tattled Taunted Teased

Edit: People, I’m an English and creative writing double major in college; I understand that there’s nothing wrong with simply using “said.” This was just for fun, and it comes in handy when I need to add pizzazz. 

people bitching about the usage of "too modern" words in fantasy or historical fiction is sometimes justified, but ultimately I think it's a waste of time because

all words exist within a specific time frame and it's pointless to avoid the fact that you're writing with the language of your own time

which words are actually "newer" than other words is sometimes wildly unintuitive

according to the dates given in the Oxford English Dictionary, if you wrote a book set in 1897, you could have your characters say "fuckable," (1889) "sexy" (1896) "uncomfy" (1868) "hellacious" (1847) "dude" (1877) "all righty" (1877) and "heck" (1887), but not "wiggly" (1932) "moronic" (1910) "uptight" (1934) "lowbrow" (1901) "fifty-fifty" (1913) "burp" (1932) "bagel" (1898) or use the word "rewrite" as a noun (1901)

Here’s an invaluable writing resource for you.