This Is Pure Comedy

This is pure comedy

Need to know

summary: an accidental call to your boyfriend on girls night leaves everyone shocked at a revelation they never thought they would have; bob fucks.

pairing: robert floyd x girlfriend!reader

word count: 1.8k

warnings: allusions to smut throughout but none actually, mentions of alcohol, mentions of a daddy kink, one mention of 50 shades of grey as a joke 😭

part 2!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Bob, Rooster and Coyote were all sat on the couch in Hangman’s living room whilst an old 80s rock record played through the speaker, watching the latter animatedly talk about some new position him and his girlfriend had tried out the night previous.

“And then I had her leg wrapped around my neck Javy, it was literally insane.”

Javy laughed at his best friend’s antics whilst Rooster spluttered, “You’re so full of shit Bagman! Not even a gymnast could pull that off.” Bob nodded in agreement and Jake started up again.

“Rooster, you’re just mad that the grannies you’re ploughing in missionary get arthritis before you can finish.”

Bob couldn’t even politely hold in his laugh at the dig as Coyote started to smack his arm in an effort to stop cackling, whilst Rooster huffed something about how she was only two years older than him with an eye roll. Now filled with the urge for revenge Rooster decided to strike the first person in his eye line.

“How come we never get to hear about you and your girlfriend Bob?” Rooster questioned, which was cruel of him. He knew Bob was a private person but the alcohol they had slowly been consuming over this ‘boys night’ had lowered his inhibitions slightly and he was still seething from Jake’s dig so Bob seemed like the easy target. Bob shrugged as the boys turned to him expectantly.

“It’s not gentlemanly, I dont expect she says anything about us to her friends either,”

Coyote seemed pleased with his response and slapped him on the back a little too painfully before putting in his (unwanted) two cents.

“See that boys? Always the southern gentleman hey Bob?”

Jake laughed loudly at the two admissions he had just heard.

“What bagman?” Bob asked, growing more agitated by his friends who were a little more inebriated than he was.

“You are out of your depth if you think Phoenix, Halo and our girlfriends aren’t talking about us specifically in the bedroom right now.”

Reminded of your current whereabouts, Bob began to wonder what you and your girlfriends talked about on your bi-monthly girls night. After all that is why he was drinking at Hangman’s place. Jake would never admit it but he hates being alone in his house without his girl, hence the invitation to boys night being sent out to his friends. Bob was about to speak up again when ‘My Girl’ by the temptations started playing from his pocket, signifying that his girlfriend was indeed calling him. Jake giggled out,

“Seriously Baby on board, I promised my girlfriend I’d start being nicer to people but you are making that promise so goddamn hard right now.”

Rooster felt bad for starting up this conversation and came to Bob’s defence,

“I love this song,” this prompted a fake gag from Jake into Javys face.

“Can you guys shush for like one sec,” Bob pleaded before answering the call.

“Hey baby,” Bob spoke.

No reply. Weird.

“Hello?” Bob spoke again, he could hear muffled sounds but no clear words. Begrudgingly switching the phone to speaker in one last attempt to hear you clearly, Bob held his phone out and the boys leaned in rather too nosily for Bob’s liking. There was more muffled noises until a sound rang out that the boys assumed was you moving your phone into a better position.

“Hi baby,” Bob tried again, but it became obvious that you couldn’t hear him. He reached to end the call when a voice rang out.

“YOU CALL HIM WHAT?!” Jake’s ears perked up, he would recognise that voice anywhere, that was unmistakably his girlfriend. Jake gestured for Bob to put his phone on the coffee table so they could all hear where the rest of this conversation (which was definitely not meant for their ears) would go. Bob felt slightly bad that this would be an invasion of your privacy, but that feeling quickly subsided when he heard your response.

“Look, Daddy kinks aren’t even that uncommon, Jake has made you do even crazier stuff and you can’t even argue that!”

Rouge began to spread across Bob’s cheeks and he reached to end the call to prevent further embarrassment in front of his closest friends. However, all three other boys seemed to be working in tandem as Coyote moved to hold Bob down and Hangman held the phone away from him all whilst Rooster reminded Jake that he should mute themselves so that they shouldn’t have to worry about a noise coming from them which would alert you of the call currently taking place without your knowledge.

Phoenix cut in before Jakes girlfriend could retaliate to your earlier statement. She was curious,

“And like.. you enjoy that?” Bob was reminded of the sheer amount of people who he worked with who were now aware of a certain preference he had and he cringed.

Your giggle was heard across the phone and the boys struggled to contain their own.

“I mean when I first met him I was not expecting it at all, but like… it’s so hot when he takes charge,” the girls all squealed and you were spurred on, “the other week he even tied my hands up so I couldn’t touch him when he went down on me.”

More squeals ensued but not just from the girls, Rooster was surprisingly high pitched when he wanted to be. Halo squawked out,

“Phe I cannot believe your little back seater is a total fifty shades of grey type freak!”

Jake’s girlfriend seemed to find this even funnier than everyone else,

“‘Little’! Ha! You’re funny Halo!” This intrigued the two female pilots even more as they prodded at you. Phoenix spoke up first,

“How am I supposed to look him in the eyes after this?!” She laughed.

Halo then decided to question you further, “Okay, I’m gonna move my hands apart and you tell me when to stop,”

A snort from Jake’s girlfriend followed and then silence for a few seconds. The boys stared Bob down suddenly wishing they were with the girls. A shriek interrupted their train of thought and Bob buried his face into his hands.

“NO WAY!” Halo all but screamed. You winked at her and she screamed again, “God, no wonder I saw you limping around the Hard Deck the other day!”

Rooster looks up at this revelation and questioned Bob, “Bro you said she hurt her knee at work,” Bob smiled sheepishly and Coyote continued his annoying habit of smacking anyone in the near vicinity when he finds something particularly funny.

Bob shushed them all as you began to speak again, “Look if we’re being honest now I want to admit something else,”

“Please have a sex dungeon, please have a sex dungeon, please have a sex dungeon, please have-”

“Jake shut the fuck up he does not have a sex dungeon,” Rooster came to Bob’s defence once again, “…do you?”

Bob scoffed at the absurdity of Roosters question, “Hey! I was just checking man!”

You started up again, “that time I lost my voice from a mean cold… it was not a cold.” The girls shrieked with laughter, “and that’s all I’m saying on that matter.”

There was movement on the phone as Phoenix finally spoke up from her laughter, “I need another drink, anyone else for one?” There was a combination of yeses and Halo got up to help her retrieve what was left of the wine.

There was more shuffling then a loud gasp much clearer than everything else the boys had heard, they looked at each other and grinned.

Jake’s girlfriend looked up from her phone and asks you, “whats up, babe?”

“I’ve been on call to Bobby this whole time.”

Bob couldn’t help but laugh at your use of the sweet nickname after seemingly revealing all of yours and his dirty secrets.

Jake’s girlfriend ever the people pleaser tried to reassure you, “Well we didn’t hear anything from them? Maybe he butt answered your butt dial?”

You breathed a sigh of relief at her words, because they made sense right? You reached to end the call but then a voice from your phone spoke up.

“Baby, you are far too optimistic.” Jake chuckled into the phone hoping to surprise his girlfriend.

Jake’s girlfriend laughed and you gasped, “Jake! Hi um… sorry how long have you been on the phone? Is it just you there?”

A chorus of laughs occur from the boys side of the phone and you groan into Jake’s girlfriends hair.

Rooster speaks up this time in a teasing tone, “Best behave for Daddy tonight Angel.” And you groan even further into Jake’s girlfriend as Phoenix and Halo return with wine in hand.

Phoenix gives you a confused look and you explain, “I butt dialled Bob.” Halo threatens to spill the remnants of wine with how hard she is shuddering with laughter.

Phoenix speaks into the phone, “Hi boys!”

Coyote laughs and responds, “Hey Phoenix!”

You finally dare to ask the question that’s been plaguing you, “So how much of that did you actually hear?”

Your sweet, loving boyfriend finally spoke up, “From about the daddy kink up until now, Sweetheart.” He chuckled.

“I’m so sorry, Bobby.” You cringed.

“Don’t worry about it, just be glad I’m not trying to break your legs like Bagman is with those positions with his girl.”

You giggled into your friend again whilst protests from Jake could be heard.

“Okay Baby, well I’ll see you soon?” You asked and you could practically hear Bob’s smirk through the phone.

“Yes you will, Sweetheart.”

After hearing his response you absentmindedly tap your phone to end the call and place it face down away from you.

Jake’s girlfriend piped up, “at least he didn’t hear us talk about you know what!” And you all giggled in relief.

“WE DONT KNOW WHAT !” Jake yelled into the phone.

“Still here Sweetheart,” Bob laughed, and you hurriedly picked your phone up.

“Oh my god what is wrong with me ?!” You whined. Bob laughed in response and Phoenix took your phone ending the call definitely before something too embarrassing was revealed.

Halo piped up, “I suggest a no phone rule at the next girls night!” You groaned into the pillow behind you.

The boys were staring at Bob, somewhat awestruck.

“What?” Bob laughed.

“Why are we all pretending we don’t wanna know what his dick looks like now?” Rooster asked.

Bob pulled away just quick enough before his arm became anymore bruised from Coyote’s violent laughter so Jake fell victim instead.

Bob almost felt bad for Jake but then he spoke up, “Daddy! Help me!” With a shit eating grin on his face.

God, you were in for it when you got home.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

a/n: i have always been a part of the bob fucks agenda but here is my little contribution HAHAH,, also i thought maybe a lil continuation w jake and his gf here ??? if anyone wants more on those two lemme knowww!!

lew lew i love you 🫶

pls comment, reblog or message me and tell me what u think !! all notes are appreciated <3

thank u for reading :)

- honey <33

𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟚

Using prompts from @the-purity-pen & @buckyownsmylife

These fics will more than likely be more straight to the point with a set word count since there’s so many.

Masterlist of all my fics

Thigh Riding & 69: Mahito PART TWO

Face Sitting: Zeke Jaeger

Mask Kink & Mating Press: Choso

Masturbation: Toji Fushiguro

Daddy Kink & Breeding: Geto Suguru

Cockwarming & Morning Sex: Itachi Uchiha

Cuckholding/Group Sex: Husband Toji, y/n, Geto and Gojo

Praising: Levi Ackerman

Double Penetration: Y/n Eren Jaeger & Jean Kirstein

Orgasm Control: Levi Ackerman

Erotic Photos: Kakashi Hatake

Hate/Angry Sex & Exhibitionism: Naoya Zen’in

Overstimulation: Armin Arlert

Shower Sex/Bath Sex: Jiraiya

Licking: Deidara

Lingerie: Gojo Satoru

Unprotected Sex & Nipple play: Eren Jaeger

Mirror Sex: Hange Zoe

Spitting & Rough Sex : Aki Hayakawa

Love bites/Marks: Noritoshi Kamo

Tender Sex: Kyojuro Rengoku

Orgasm Denial: Portgas D. Ace

Bondage: Toji Fushiguro

Accidental Stimulation: Choso

Semi Public Sex: Kakashi Hatake

Sensory Deprivation: Madara Uchiha

Body Worship: Roy Mustang

Phone Sex: Nanami Kento

Food Play: L (Death note)

Sex Pollen: Akaza

Free Space: Geto Suguru

Comment below If you want to be tagged in all fics when posted! Hope you all enjoyed 🫶🏼

Don't stare

you cryin'?

𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥 𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬

Pairing: Matt Murdock x (female) Reader

Summary: no plot, just vibes and porn, pretty much what the title says idk what to tell you it’s just some slightly kinky sex with Matt

Warnings: smut, dom!Matt, sub!Reader degradation kink, bit of corruption kink, spanking, bondage, penetrative sex (m+f), overstimulation, dacryphilia, choking, squirting, cumshot, minors DNI

A/N: title and inspiration taken from lyrics in Thirty Seconds To Mars’ song Walk on Water. I literally got the inspo and immediately powered this out in one sitting, hope you guys like it!!🥰🖤💫✨ p.s. I didn’t proofread this one so sorry about any spelling and grammar mistakes!🙈

This is for people 18+ only. Minors do not read on. If you click ‘keep reading’ you are hereby agreeing that you are 18 or older.

“Mmmm you should know what you’re getting yourself into, sweetheart” Matt whispers darkly into your ear. “Making love with the devil hurts” he purrs, slapping your ass sharply for emphasis.

You’re currently sprawled out on his mattress, each of your limbs tied to a corner of the bed, your arms and legs spread wide. You’re tied face down, your ass on display in the air. He’s tied his favourite black blindfold around your head, encasing you in darkness, your other senses tingling in anticipation.

“Are you sure you want this?” He bites your ear lobe as he his body hovers over yours. “Are sure you wanna dance with the devil tonight?"

You let out a trembling breath before answering with a shaky whisper, “y- yes."

He hums again. “Such a bad girl, letting the devil have his way with your body. What would your god say now?” He taunts. You whimper again, his words running straight through your body to your core.

You feel him sit up above you, his ass resting on top of yours. You hear a sound off to your left as he grabs something off the nightstand. You then cry out, your back arching backwards beneath him as you suddenly feel hot liquid spill onto your back, burning your skin. The liquid dribbles down your back before it begins to harden in place. You recognise the smell of your favourite spiced red apple candle as Matt drips even more of the wax onto your body, moving down lower until it drips over the top of your ass.

You mewl and writhe at the sting of the burn as he drips more wax haphazardly over your back. He just chuckles darkly, relishing in the sounds you make as you squirm beneath him, pulling taught at your restraints. You then hear him put the candle aside as he moves to hover you again, this time his lips finding their way to your neck. His mouth is almost as hot as the wax as he coats your neck and shoulders with hickeys, biting and bruising your skin as he goes.

He moves down your body, kissing and biting every inch of your skin that wasn’t covered in the hardened red wax. When he gets level with your ass he bites roughly into your one of your cheeks, smirking again at the cry you sound. His hands are kneading your skin roughly, pulling and pinching at your body. You wriggle your hips as his head dips lower, feeling the warmth of his breath ghosting over your core. You instinctively push your ass up even further, exposing your dripping cunt to him. You hear the devil hum in satisfaction as you mewl and buck in desperation for his touch.

“Such a needy little thing” he taunts, placing hot kisses to the back of your thighs, just below the curve of your ass. “You want the devil to fuck you with his tongue hmm? Is that what you want?” He taunts, biting your thigh again.

“Mhmm” is all you’re able to sound.

“Come on angel, you can do better than that” he teases as his hands trail down your legs, away from where you wanted him to touch you.

“Yes. Please, please fuck me with your tongue” you tremble.

He sits up suddenly. He places another sharp slap to your ass, making your skin sting almost as much as the wax did.

“Then beg for it” he commands, his hands running up and down your thighs, his fingers getting tantalisingly close to your cunt before he’d start the downward motion again.

You whimper, feeling tears spring in your eyes underneath the fabric of the blindfold. You wiggle, your wrists and ankles burning where they rubbed harshly against your restraints.

“Please” you almost sob. “Please, touch me. Use your tongue, your hands, anything. Please, please just touch me” you mewl pitifully, your head burying into the pillows beneath you.

He barks a harsh laugh. “So fucking needy you don’t even know what you want. Mmm it’s pathetic” you can hear the smugness in his voice.

“Guess I can just do whatever I want to this pretty little body of yours, since you’ve offered it up to me so nicely” he purrs just before he dives forward again, his face finding a home between the folds of your cunt.

His tongue darts into your slit, licking across your clit and up to your dripping hole. He flicks his tongue against you clit like a snake tasting the air, as if he really did have the devil’s tongue and was going to use it break you apart, until your body was nothing but pleasure and sin.

He then moves his flicking motion to your gaping cunt, his tongue darting in and out of your opening. You moan and buck your hips as much you can given your restricted movement. You then feel one of his hands creep around underneath your body. His fingers caress your skin as he slides his hand lower and lower until it finds the front of your folds. Your cries are muffled as you bite into the sheets when his fingers find home on your clit. He starts to circle your clit in time with his tongue fucking in and out of you. He groans at your taste, the vibrations coursing through you. The bed jerks as you pull harshly against its posts.

Your body feels overwhelmed. Every sense heightened with your vision blocked. The warm wax still on your skin, your ass raw and stinging from his spanks, your clit throbbing, your pussy clenching on his tongue, everything feels unbelievably intense. He can tell you’re close to coming undone, your whole body shaking from the sensations.

“Mmm that’s it angel, fall apart for me, let the devil take you” he whispers before fervently darting his tongue back inside you, a newfound speed you didn’t think was humanly possible.

“Ahh fuck” you cry into the sheets as a little death unfolds in your body. You gasp and heave on the bed as he continues to fuck you with his tongue, drawing out your orgasm. You then start to squirm, the overstimulation becoming too much, your pussy tightening in a way that was uncomfortable, bordering on unbearable.

“Oh shit, stop” you mewl, your legs tugging at the restraints, trying your hardest to pull yourself away from you.

But he ignores you. His other hand increasing its grip on your hip, holding you in place, his fingers digging painfully into your flesh. His fingers continue to work on your clit in time with his tongue inside your walls.

Your face screws up in a mixture of pain and pleasure, the sensations in your core overwhelming your entire body. Another tear escapes you as you cry out raggedly, another orgasm ripping through your body. Your sounds are pathetic as your legs tremble, a wetness seeping down your thighs and onto the bed beneath you.

“Shit yes” Matt coos into your cunt as he laps at you a few last times, relishing the taste of your juices as they dribble down his chin. Your body bucks and jerks away from his touch each time he laps at you before he finally stops.

“Such a good little whore for me” he smirks, placing a quick slap to you clit with his hand that was still pinned underneath you.

You expect him to stop now, what more could you possibly have to offer now that your body was already wreaked, the bed wet beneath you.

But of course the devil wasn’t done with you yet.

You cry out loudly when you feel two of his fingers push past your folds and breach the entrance of your sensitive pussy. You’re wriggling and crying, once so desperate for his touch, now so desperate to be free.

He begins to pump his fingers inside you, his other hand starting up its motion up again circling your clit.

“No please, I can’t” you cry pathetically, already the feeling becoming overwhelming again.

“Yes you can, and you will” he says harshly. “The devil gets what the devil wants, and you will cum again for me angel."

He spits down onto his hand, mixing his salvia in with your slick as he fucks his fingers into you with a brutal pace. You’re now really crying underneath the blindfold, your choked sobs mixing in with the sound of your moans. It takes almost no time at all for you to feel the pressure build in your core again.

“That’s it, cum for me sweetheart” and your body obliges his request right on cue. Your toes curl, your back arching upwards, the hardened wax crumbling on your skin. You choke out moans between your tears as you clench around his hand, your clit throbbing almost painfully where his fingers still circled you roughly.

He makes sure to fully draw out your climax again before he finally pulls his hand out from under you. Both his hands then go back to roaming your skin as he kisses his way up your body again, you can feel your own wetness sticking to your skin where his fingers slide over your body. This time when he holds himself over you you can feel the outline of his hard cock pressed against your ass.

“You gonna let the devil ruin this pretty perfect pussy of yours?” He taunts, his mouth hot in your ear again, his hips rutting against you. You can no longer control the tears that leak from your eyes as your core throbs painfully between your legs.

“Answer me” he commands, another harsh blow landing on your ass.

You just mewl, the tiniest “yes” bubbling past your lips and you sniff pitifully.

“That’s better” he drawls.

You hear him pump himself a few times, the slick still on his fingers mixing with his precum to help lubricate his aching cock. He then, with no warning, breaches your entrance with the head of his dick.

“Fuck” he sighs as he sinks into you. “How is it that you feel like heaven and sin wrapped into one?” He groans into your ear, his chest flush against your back.

He bites into the skin of your shoulder as he sets a brutal pace fucking into you. He’s barely started and already the sensations are starting to overwhelm you again. The warmth of his body against yours, starting to melt the wax on your skin again. The sharp cold of the metal cross hanging from his neck stuck between your writhing bodies. The burn of him moving inside your sensitive walls. The pain from where your restraints and rubbed your wrists and ankles raw.

Your body is fuelled with an electric current like you’ve never experienced, your body impossibly hot with the pleasure burning through you. If this was Hell, maybe it wasn’t so bad...

“Ah fuck, Matt” you mewl as he plunges impossibly deep inside you, hitting that special spot inside you. He’s fucking into you so hard and so deep you swear you can feel him in your stomach. It hurts. Oh it hurts so good.

“Look at you, taking my cock so well, like the good little whore that you are” he teases, his hand slapping the side of your ass, causing another cry to escape you.

“Hmm you like that don't you? You like when the devil punishes you?” He brings his hand down harshly again.

You can barely bring yourself to form the word “yes” as your throat is full of sobs and moans. He laughs darkly at your pathetic state.

His one hand then slips under your neck, grabbing onto your throat. He lifts up your head, arching your back and bending your neck as far back as possible. His fingers begin to squeeze around your throat. The new position is uncomfortable, pain flaring through your body. But the new angle he was hitting inside you? You didn’t think your body would be able to handle your incoming orgasm, pleasure searing through veins, through every single particle of your being.

A strangled “shit” gets stuck in your mouth as yet another climax blazes through you. Tears roll down your cheeks, dripping on Matt’s hand where he held your neck in place. Your whole body shakes again, your walls clenching so hard Matt’s pace falters above you.

“Fuck angel, you’re squeezing me so good. You gonna let me leave my mark on you? The devil’s mark?”

You know he’s not really seeking permission from you. Besides, your entire body and soul is too spent to even fathom an answer. His grunts get louder in your ear, his grip tighter on your neck as he suddenly pulls himself out of your harshly, releasing your neck, moving to sit up above you. You hear the wet sounds of his own hand pumping himself before hot liquid once again hits your back, and this time you know it isn’t the candle wax. Matt’s load paints your back, creating an abstract art work of his cum and candle wax on your skin.

You both stay still for a while, panting and revelling in your highs. Your body goes limp on the bed, a kind of painful numbness taking over you. Your pussy and clit are throbbing and raw, a feeling you knew wouldn’t go away too quickly. You whine and whimper pitifully into the mattress. Matt of course hears your tiny sounds and lets out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a satisfied sigh.

Then suddenly his body is above yours again, his lips grazing over your neck.

“I told you” you feel him smirk against the shell of your ear. “Making love with the devil hurts."

Masterlist

A/N: lmao I really took the devil theme and fucking ran with it, hope you liked it!!💫🖤✨

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