It's So Curious How There's A High Chance That I'll Never Know My Cause Of Death, Because Maybe It Will

It's so curious how there's a high chance that I'll never know my cause of death, because maybe it will be something sudden that my brain won't process at all before dying and then other people will know. But I won't.

In a world where a pretty face matters the most, I was cursed with acne and the scars weren't left only on my face.

Probably what bothers me the most in media is how being 'just friends' is seen as something bad, something nobody wants. The classic downtrodden expression of 'we're just friends,' like it's a failure. Why is friendship seen as a step, not a final goal? Why can't we see deep friendships between people on TV and not have it portrayed as 'not enough'? There are so many types of love, man, and every single one of those is enough.

Tell me if you think I'm boring or if you just take me for granted

I guess my roman empire is my longest friendship.

Every day I think about us, every time I look at something funny I want to show it to my best friend. We met when we were 10 and she was my first friend ever, we grew up together at the same school till I were 15 and left to do high school in another state.

In those years we were together we've been in several friend groups that with time got separated, but we always stayed together. The problem was that even though we had each other, we would always be looking for a new friend because it seemed we weren't enough for each other, or better, I felt like I wasn't enough for her.

She has always been my best friend but I'm afraid I never have been her best friend, I was just there, I was her friend like every other person was.

After leaving for high school I came back to do college in the same city as her and we're different. Something feels off, she has another friend and I have other friends as well. Maybe I'm selfish but even though I have new friends she will always be my number one but for her I'm just like everyone. I'm not special and I know that she's not obligated to have me as her favorite person just because she's mine, but I guess I want to be loved the same way I love her.

She never starts a conversation, now we have a trio and she only does stuff if there's all of us. We (me and her) alone don't exist anymore.

I hate feeling like this.

Everything indicates I'll have to outgrow her, but I don't want to.