I Think Its Best If He Never Works In Customer Service

I think its best if he never works in customer service

the glamorous life of a mafia executive

(based on an idea from Remi!)

dazai having an off day and being quieter than usual when suddenly one of kunikidas pens rolls across the desks and bumps into dazai’s hand and transforms into a piece of paper that’s been folded into a heart

Seeing a lot of braces Dazai (which I love so much <33) reminded of this headcannon that I submitted to an anonymous chat box & then got super popular

Here’s a small (very unfinished) comic to go with

Shin soukoku

Akutagawa : I shall rip out your throat and celebrate your death but only if it is by my hands. If someone else kills you or even hurt you I shall rip them apart too

Atsushi: Only if you promise not to kill anyone for six months

Soukoku

Dazai : Let's do this.

Chuuya : Do what?

Dazai : Do crime Be gay

Chuuya : K

That's it. That's the difference. One is still in denial and the other is just...ignoring it for the time being

Drying hair

yo wussup homeslice. I have THOUGHTS

Chuuya has a tongue piercing, Dazai know this and loves it. Kunikida does not know about it until they kiss for the first time and it feels weird and Chuuya laughs his ass off before sticking his tongue out to show him.

Kunikida found a new thing he finds hot that day.

Dazai totally has his ears pierced and gets the weirdest earrings he can find.

Kunikida doesn't have any, Dazai tries to get him to get a bellybutton piercing.

thoughts tee hee <3 consumes them and leaves you an empty husk <3

yes. chuuya with a tongue piercing, what will he do (give really good head and kisses, probably. also he 100% just licks people sometimes. sometimes when dazai is being annoying chuuya will just. lick. and boom <3 peace and quiet <3 that is the one thing that compels kunikida to consider piercings WHEEZE)

earrings. tiny baby dolls. hanging on nooses. but earrings. dazai is truly just a lesbian tbh, like spiritually

kunikida has a reputation he cares about so he can't get any piercings and he tells dazai this repeatedly but dazai never listens SO eventually kunikida is like 'every time you tell me to get a piercing i will tally it and once there are 100 tallies you will get two piercings of my choosing' and that is how dazai ends up with nipple piercings. he is a very big baby about the pain <3