At Work, Feeling Very Awkward Bc My Client Has Refused Breakfast And Morning Shower. Normally Once Both

At work, feeling very awkward bc my client has refused breakfast and morning shower. Normally once both are done I'm supposed to clean but it doesn't make sense to clean the bathroom before we do the shower. So I'm sitting here looking like a slacker on my phone because I've done the dishes and idk if I should prepare lunch when she hasn't had breakfast. 😬 I'm pretty sure this is because it's my first day on my own with her, so she's resistant. I believe in following her lead (she's very limited in her ability to communicate so that can be challenging to work out) but I also don't want the family to think I'm a dud. Maybe I'll see if there's any white vinegar to clean the shower doors.

I really find Seward hard to understand. Like, not globally, but individual phrases just totally baffle me. "oh, unconscious cerebration! you will have to give the wall to your conscious brother." Wtaf are you talking about my dude

Starting my second independent shift today (before I would have a partner as I learned on the job). Yesterday was Rough. I hope today goes smoother. In any case it's a 6 hour shift rather than 12 like yesterday. What makes it all harder is the family member who lives with my client. She stresses me out. Yesterday the one thing that worked with Hope (not her real name) was reading to her from her Bible. The family member said it was too loud and I did it too much. I get that it's her home too, and I'll try to read more quietly, for sure, but like, Hope refused *everything else*. She's essentially trapped in her body, as she's totally paralyzed on the right and has minimal use of her left. She can only say ok/no. She didn't want to shower, didn't want to leave her bed, didn't want her radio, everything was resistance and "no." I see myself as her hands and body while I'm here. What she wants, goes. But FM wants other things and I want to be on her good side, too. I just hope it gets easier as we go along, cause otherwise I can't sustain it and I'll have to ask for another client.

I just fell down an unexpected hole. After reading June 30's entry, I started making connections in my mind between Jonathan's attempted shovelmurder and the concept of regeneration through violence. My spouse is more well versed in this concept but I recalled him linking it to Theodore Roosevelt. As I understand it, TR very much believed in the necessity for men to use violence to blossom as Real Men. In a civilized society, men would degenerate due to soft living. They could only restore themselves - regenerate themselves - through violence. Since one of the things I enjoy about reading fiction from past centuries is imagining how it impacted people then versus now, I started thinking about how today's readers (here on Tumblr anyway) feel very gratified by Jonathan's sudden choice to employ homicidal violence. For us, he's a relatively weak character (meow meow) who we want to see regenerated through (his embracing) violence. But how would it impact readers at the time? Would they be horrified to see a well educated English gentleman lose his shit like that? Or would they feel excited and cheer him on? So I thought of Teddy Roosevelt and it occurred to me that he was alive at the time Dracula was published. This is where the hole I fell into comes in. Turns out, Bram Stoker and Teddy Roosevelt met on two occasions and also corresponded. Stoker was impressed with TR's strength of personality. I think this adds a whole new aspect to our charming cowboy, y'all. Not only that, but Stoker was friends (possibly more, folks) with Walt Whitman. THE Walt Whitman. The unapologetically GAY Walt Whitman. Please imagine the glee with which I write this. So any gay subtext you were sort of wondering about? Asking yourself (like I was) is this *really* gay subtext, or am I reading into it? Welp, Stoker LOVED Whitman's poetry (link attached leads to an article that includes the full, gushing text of Stoker's first letter to Whitman if you want to see for yourself). So I'm going to go with, HELL YES. THE SUBTEXT IS REAL AND INTENTIONAL. I know this is probably common knowledge in some circles, but I never studied or read Dracula before now so for me, it is a delightful surprise.

The Avocado

The History Thread, or Bram Stoker’s American Friends

Welcome to another literary-themed History Thread! This week we’ll look at Bram Stoker, author of Dracula and his relationships with promine

Day 3. Yesterday went pretty well, especially since I got done at one thirty. But even before, Hope was much more relaxed and ready to do the routines. Today started off with the table in my room collapsing. My mug, full of coffee, broke. That got me started later than I wanted but in the end I got to work with ten minutes to spare so I can't complain. My foot scooter, which I use when I'm not on the bus/tram as is common here, refuses to let me fold it though so that's less than ideal. I've done my best to tuck it into a corner; fingers crossed it won't annoy Victoria (fake name for Hope's family member). Hope is awake but didn't agree to breakfast or hygiene. She wanted some water and for me to sit with her. I suspect she really wants me to read to her but Victoria is asleep on the couch (probably it was a rough night for Hope) and I do Not want to wake her up. What would be nice is if Hope went back to sleep for a couple of hours. She did that yesterday which I think contributed a lot to her relaxed mood.

Starting my second independent shift today (before I would have a partner as I learned on the job). Yesterday was Rough. I hope today goes smoother. In any case it's a 6 hour shift rather than 12 like yesterday. What makes it all harder is the family member who lives with my client. She stresses me out. Yesterday the one thing that worked with Hope (not her real name) was reading to her from her Bible. The family member said it was too loud and I did it too much. I get that it's her home too, and I'll try to read more quietly, for sure, but like, Hope refused *everything else*. She's essentially trapped in her body, as she's totally paralyzed on the right and has minimal use of her left. She can only say ok/no. She didn't want to shower, didn't want to leave her bed, didn't want her radio, everything was resistance and "no." I see myself as her hands and body while I'm here. What she wants, goes. But FM wants other things and I want to be on her good side, too. I just hope it gets easier as we go along, cause otherwise I can't sustain it and I'll have to ask for another client.

btw body horror is stuff that doesnt naturally occur and is used to scare ppl, like extra eyes, animal parts on a human, a mouth opening in the stomach, not. disabled people’s bodies lmao.