Awkward - Tumblr Posts
Quick Introduction
Hello people, I’m Dae. This might be cheesy but I’m fairly new to Tumblr and still figuring stuff out. I was inspired to post for the first time after stalking Tumblr by my friend so here we are. I’ll post random stuff about various things and write.
love this comics sm
ye
just another drawing i dun didily did, it took a while to draw the background, and i think it came out grate!
SHOUT OUT
To my dad bc when I complement his gun collection he says 'you're welcome'
Anyone else get awkward on escalators l? Like where are you supposed to look. There's people standing and you just stare at their backs..... also the thought of someone staring at my back.. the horror. If the escalator is long then its even worse.. Like I pray for the Lord to come for my soul everytime I'm on a escalator
Day 539: fckn thanks!
"congrats for ruining my day! u never fail to annoy me! fckn thank u for always bringing my self-esteem down the drainage!" (my tweet today)
it's funny that every time i am with you and i try to make it feel less awkward between us, you always find a way to rub salt on my wounds. thanks! keep doing it and i might let you see how miserable i become just coz i get affected by your kind words.
I can't seem to make myself do anything productive or even vaguely interesting... I'm so bored.
This is how I roll now, I watch Awkward. and Girl Code while I paint my nails.
(Laziest gradient nail EVER. I didn't even stipple both colors, just painted a couple layers of the base color and stippled the accent on top. They're gorgeous in person, but I had trouble getting the camera to pick up the color variation.)
Awkward Story Time #1
Okay, so, this is a series of stories I want to tell you guys. If you are like me, and are an INFP, this shows you're not the only.one who has done this. Or if you're an introvert, you can relate.
(Also, I won't give details in any of these, like names and places)
Okay SO
back in August, I went to my cousin's wedding, and the whole time, I felt out of my element, like I sometimes do in things like these. My grandparents and I are being driven there by my aunt in her car, and when we got there, my cousin,my aunt's son, his sister (my other cousin) and her husband, were sitting in a booth with my cousin's old church friend, and my little cousin was in a high chair. I sat down and talked a little, mostly about how long the car ride was.
But a bit later, at the rehearsal, I sat with my other other cousin, the best man, and their other friends. He goes and I sit with their old church friend, their college buddies and their wives, and I get along with them well.
The day after, at the wedding, it was hot. Even hotter in this state than our home state. I had on a dress, which made everything still hot, and my hair was braided my my aunt, since I hardly do that and she wanted me to look "pretty", and my grandpa said I should find a boyfriend here out of my cousin party of people. Which I thought, "okay, ha ha lol no", but then it got into my head, y'know, that weird feeling of those words spoken might come true.
They play music at the reception, which is the same place in a large backyard. I watch the other people dances. But then they play Uptown Funk, and I stand closer to watch. The friend my cousin's know from church sat in the chair in front of me, and says "do you wanna dance?" I tell him I'm not a really good dancer and feel uncomfortable alone. To which he says, "come on. Let's go dance." We walk and he grabs me by the shoulder, to which I can tell you, that if it's someone not related to me, they'd have to be a friend of a friend or of a relative. He might have just did that because he could sense anxiety, which really didn't help. Since, there were a lot of people under this one little tent.My cousin, his new bride, and all of their friends were dancing
I tried to,but I felt SO out of place, I felt my face get hot. After a while, the friend that ledge to dance went away, for what reason idk. Then I left after the rest did a conga line. Later, after my cousin and his bride left on their honeymoon, I talked to the guy about Doctor Who and the Harry potter screenplay a bit. Bit then my uncle told me to help my grandma get settled. I told the other guy bye. And later, when I went back out, he was gone.
The whole moral of the story is I should of got out of my comfort zone and talked to him some more about all of our favorite things. I found out on Facebook he's a Beatles fan and i wanna know which Hogwarts house he's in and Ilvermony too! And he's also a big David Tennant fan and he's only five years older and he looks cute enough, bit I can't ask my cousin's about him, because I don't want them to know, and that's torture for introverts to ask what they wanna know.
THE END
meh. artblock and no idea, so random sketches
mostly Cecil. other is what you see
Talks about being intimite... of course my girl Keiko is mentioned, hehe.
TW! Discussion of sex and sexual trauma.
Stages of Closeness (3/4)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3 - You're here!
Part 4
Keiko must have thought of him as hopeless, Shion realized. He was so ashamed of how he destroyed her and Saki's moment because he was a disaster.
His talk with Keiko afterwards only worsened this feeling. He already told Keiko about his former teacher, but he only told her about the first time the man violated him, and didn't even dare to speak up about what his father's friends had done to him. It may seem like he doesn't have trouble speaking up about his traumas, but in actuality, he only tells them a selected few that he's been brave enough to speak about.
Still, the talk with Keiko left him with things to think about—things he had been burring underneath for a long time now.
No matter how he felt about it, his body still reacted to stimulants, and obviously he had those kinds of desires like everyone else, the only difference being how scared of them he was.
It was usually fine, hell just burn it in his mind until it let go, not think about those or just straight up ignore them, but since he met Yuichi...
He was very ashamed of some thoughts he was having, or how sometimes Yuichi made him feel, since he could not bear to see those in a positive light.
But, what if Yuichi wanted it from him? Expected it at some stage of their relationship?
Keiko proposed talking it out with Yuichi, but how is he supposed to talk about... THAT?!?
And what on earth made him actually do it? Probably his love for the coroner.
For everything that Yuichi was to him, he would feel bad if he couldn't provide something that Yuichi would want from him, no matter how scary it was for himself.
Not to say he was still having his own thoughts and desires concerning his boyfriend, that his body wanted, but his mind was so afraid of.
Yuichi did want to know everything that went through his mind too, to not keep something that was troubling Shion hidden anymore, even if it'd be difficult to speak about, because he cared for him. So yeah, Shion was going to do it.
He waited inside Yuichi's room, which became their room instead of just Yuichi's, on the sofa, nervously playing with one of his lighters.
He was also afraid of Yuichi thinking bad about him, wanting to talk about? What if it'll disgust him? Or what if...
The doors opened, promoting Shion to jump on his seat.
Yuichi entered, instantly noticing how tense Shion was.
" ... Did something happen?"
Shion instantly froze.
'I can't do it, I can't do it... '
" Shion?"
" Ah, I-it's fine, I'm fine, it's just..."
How is he even going to start this? Does he want to? Oh, how he wishes to disappear right now...
" You sure? You're all red, you don't have a fever, do you?"
Yuichi asked worried, checking Shion temperature with his hand.
" Yeah, I'm fine, I just..."
Yuichi nodded for him to continue.
" I've... Kinda... Well, I have had a talk with Keiko..."
Yuichi sat down right next to Shion
" Alright... About what?"
Shion was red beyond belief.
" A-about... Sex..."
He said it, he said the world, oh my god, he's going to die.
" Ym, alright, why did you talk with Keiko about sex?"
It was a bad idea, he fucked up, he should not take the topic, why is it so hot in here all of a sudden?!?
" I, I was supposed to, to meat up with Keiko, for our usual, you know, and I heard something from her room, and it reminded me of, and I, and Keiko was with Saki, and she explained how she wasn't hurting Keiko, instead they were doing it 'cause they wanted to, and I, I can't, that was a disaster, I'm such a disgrace it was awful, I wanted to help her, instead I destroyed it and embarrassed myself so much I-"
Shion blabbered through everything that happened, as fast as he could, becoming even redder than before, looking everywhere but Yuichi.
The coroner only took Shion's hand in his, prompting the red head to look at him.
Purple irises were full of fear. Yuichi took a deep breath, preparing himself for a very long talk.
" It's okay, could happen to anyone, don't worry about it, okay?"
Shion nodded very fast, closing his eyes to stop tears from falling.
" So, I'm assuming Keiko was simply explaining that sex is not always bad for you, am I right?"
" Yeah, basically... She also said that it's not her place for having this talk with me and that I should probably tell you about my struggles with... these things."
Some building up stress left Yuichi now - he didn't really liked the idea of Shion having this sort of conversations with someone else. He understood and was thankful for how Keiko reacted now, but it didn't help a tiny bit of raising overprotective and jealousy rising inside of him.
Now for the difficult task left here for him.
" So, what kind of struggles?"
Shion went quiet here for a second.
" I, it's not a problem with it being pleasurable for some, I do get it. I just started to wonder if... if you..."
He finally looked up to Yuichi, still as red as a tomato.
Oh. It now clicked why Shion was so on edge.
"B-because if you do, I mean, I don't want to limit you just because, em, I think I could if you do want it from me, you know..."
" Hey, hey, Shion, slow down."
Yuichi moved one of his hands to cup Shion cheek, and crossed it a few times with his thumb, picking up a few tears that left Shion's eyes.
" It'll only be alright to do, if the both of us enjoy this, you know?"
He tucked a strand of red hair behind Shion's ear.
" No matter how much I would want you in that way, I could never do it if it'd make you uncomfortable in any way, Shion. And we can do it, but only if you wish to."
Shion let his head down, still tensed.
" I, there is a part of me that... I want to try, if it could really be something more to share between the two of us, but..."
He looked back at Yuichi with watery eyes.
" I'm scared."
Shion brought his knees to his chest, and wrapped his arms around them
" I have these thoughts and feelings, that I, on the one hand, can't bear, and yet there is something in it that... But I still, if I were to think about doing it, I remember all those other times..."
Yuichi hugged Shion as he started crying and trembling all over.
" Shhh... I am here, dear... And I would never hurt you... It's okay..."
I hate it when I get myself in awkward situations like I've had to explain in multiple ocasions to multiple people what fanfic is, like why do I do this to myself? I don't wanna be the one to introduce you to that
Also then I have to act like I don't spend the majority of my day reading fanfic when they tell me that it's weird :)
Shit my housemate says
Housemate: I wake up with handprints on my thighs
Me: how is that possible
Housemate: I touch myself in my sleep I guess
Me: are you sure those are your handprints?
Housemate: I really do hope so, as I don't like thinking that somebody else is touching me or my vagina..
Me: well that is certainly something
Sooo... I don't really do social media. But I want to push myself to try new things and I would like to post some of my art and ideas. More to come...