Operation: Sweet Talk Lee Heeseung.

operation: sweet talk ➢ lee heeseung.

SYNOPSIS ➷ you and quiet, popular boy lee heeseung share being at the top of the food chain at your uni, and there’s no secret you’re smitten. though you’ve never spoken a word to each other, you seem to notice his eyes are always on you. tempted with the possibility he might just like you back, you’re thrown into a challenge where you must prove his feelings for you before the school year ends. let the games begin?

[ word count: 16k ]

PAIRING ➷ lee heeseung x reader

GENRE ➷ fluff, frenemies to lovers (?)

WARNINGS ➷ eventual smut. ( minors dni! )

a/n: GUYSSSS ✋ WITH THE WAY HEESEUNG IS LOOKIN LATELY YOU KNOW I JUST HAD TO WHIP SOMETHIN UP NHHHHH 😩 i had a lot of fun writing this so i hope you guys enjoy this lengthy little fic B) p.s, i’m not entirely sure how pool works so please don’t come for me.. ;$?3!2:’ also, there is sexual themes included, so minors please dni! all interactions are deeply appreciated, but reblogs are highly encouraged! tysm for reading. ♡

“ryung,” you whine softly, an outstretched hand wrapping around your boy best friend’s arm. “don’t leave me here alone.” your voice is hushed and desperate over the variety of chatter that slurs from the figures situated at the bar, soothing jazz music muffled by their overlapping murmurs.

“y/n.” your friend giggles, a bony, outstretched finger pushing up the middle bridge of his glasses. you watch his bouncy, chocolate curls fall over his golden, round frames. “i’m just going to the bathroom.” a small, half smile travels up his chapstick slathered lips, his unbuttoned hawaiian-printed shirt catching the soft brushes of the air conditioning. he quirks a thick eyebrow at you, hidden by his curvy fringe. “i’ll be quick. heeseung seems to have no problem with watching over you.”

you groan as you throw your friend a glare, watching as he pokes his tongue out at you in reply. your eyes follow his figure throughout the crowded room, slipping the straw of your chocolate milkshake between your lips. you’ve propped yourself onto the countertop against the large window, your legs dangling back and forth just above the suede, carpeted floor. you’re watching your friends as they surround the pool table just a few feet in front of you, letting out loud hoots and hollers and harsh slaps to each other’s backs.

the harsh, orange tinted lights above you sears your skin in the most aggravating fashion, a soft sigh slipping from your lips as you push your hair back away from your forehead. you always hate coming to these things, but as a part of the cheer squad and your best friend being on the football team, it’s almost mandatory for you and your reputation.

you keep your half lidded eyes focused on the blond haired boy positioning his pool stick rather meticulously across the green felt, when you can already feel those all-too familiar eyes on you under the iridescent lights.

peering up slyly through the lines of your long, mascara coated lashes, you pose your gaze directly into heeseung’s. he’s propped himself up on the countertop on the other side of the pool table, his thighs spread generously against the marble surface. suyun, one of your cheermates, is laid out horizontally down the length of the countertop, her head positioned tautly on the meat of his thigh. your glossy stare is hidden by the shadows creeping out from behind the orange, stark lamp above you, allowing yourself the advantage of examining his slouched, sitting figure.

his pink lips seem to be embracing the end of a pencil dented with bites, his teeth softly chewing the wood. the spine of an opened black, tattered notebook is settled up against the crown of the girl’s head. his unreadable eyes outlined in dark makeup study you for a second longer, before immediately clipping over towards the chaos by the pool table.

you wish you knew what kind of thoughts conjured from behind the orbs of his emotionless eyes as he looks at you, like he always does. your heart springs up inside your chest as you follow his eyes to the pool table, where your head doesn’t stop replaying his intimidating gaze. it wasn’t until a loud, “y/n, you wanna have a go at it?” that you were jostled from your eyeliner-ridden daydreams. you part your drying lips and furrow your brows as you blink yourself back into reality, aware of all the curious eyes now pointed towards you.

you shake your head softly, the straw of your milkshake pushing a dent into the soft skin of your bottom lip. “uh, no thanks. i don’t know how to play.” you let a forced chuckle roll out off of your tongue as you watch your blond friend roll his eyes, offering his pool stick to you.

“c’mon…. it’s not that hard.” you shake your head at him one more time before he scoffs softly with a shake of his head, lowering his stick as he begins making his way towards heeseung. “here,” he turns his body in your direction while he outstretches the stick to the perched boy, his dark eyebrows raised and a smirk growing on his thin lips. “heeseung will show you how it’s done.”

you swallow softly in your throat as you watch the girl on his lap slowly rise from his thigh, a disgruntled expression across her mousy features. heeseung seems a bit taken aback, but still amused and eager nonetheless. his eyebrows are raised as he gently slips the pool stick from the blond boy’s hand, a shy half smile up his pink lips. he jumps off of the counter and heads over towards the pool table with a teasing, long sigh that jostles his shoulders, his fingers rotating the long sliver of wood between them in a show-off manner.

you study him carefully as he bends his upper half over the table, positioning the pool stick accordingly. you hear whispered hushes and murmurs sprinkle themselves throughout the crowd of your friends circled around the tall boy. “what’d i miss?” you suddenly hear ryung whisper into your ear, sounding slightly out of breath.

“just watch….”

in a swift, sharp manner, the tall boy then suddenly clicks the end of the stick up against one of the plastic balls, sending it into one of the corner pockets. hoots and hollers and loud cheers then burst from the excited mouths of your friends. even a small “wow,” whispered from ryung is heard by your ear.

“alright, y/n,” the blond boy, named hwang, then turns to you, after unnecessarily beating the shit out of heeseung’s broad back. “did you see that? you gotta come up here now!” he widens his eyes at you before tugging on your hand, unwillingly pulling you up into the spotlight.

“i’ll play for her!” you hear ryung chirp behind you.

hwang groans, “can it, pretty boy.”

you swallow nervously in your throat as you hike your hoodie sleeves up, preparing to fail miserably. heeseung is now turning towards you, his lanky figure now towered over your rather somewhat short self, his gaze intense under downturned, smokey eyelids. he doesn’t say anything to you, which is nothing but normal, and slides the pool stick into your sweaty palm with a smirk teetering on the edge of his lip.

he then positions himself beside you, which makes you very self conscious and very aware of his sweat-overridden cologne and close body heat. he places his palms on the edge of the table to lean his weight into his arms, gaze ready to witness your move. the sweat beading along your tightened brows drips rather slowly down the smooth curve of your temple. you go over heeseung’s actions in your mind and slowly begin to mimic them, perching yourself over the pool table and positioning the stick up against one of the plastic pool balls.

you remind yourself not to take this harmless, fun activity too seriously, but with heeseung’s tequila scented breath breathing down your neck, you just can’t help it. you don’t know if you’re doing it right or if you look absolutely stupid, because the tall boy beside you is not saying a single word. out of frustration and slight embarrassment, you quickly clink the end of the stick up against the ball. fortunately for you, it slides right into one of the corner pockets just like heeseung’s had.

more cheers of excitement rush into the pits of your eardrums as you’re suddenly being jolted forward into the pool table by the firm, hard hands of everybody around you. your brain was suddenly clouded by the loud hoots and hollers that you didn’t even have time to register the surprising, unfamiliar voice you never thought you’d hear in a million years whisper right by your ear, “atta girl, that wasn’t too hard, now was it?”

“y/n…. did you hear what i said?” ryung shoves his shoulder lightly into your arm, the faint clicks of your shoes echoing across the tiled, cafeteria floor. the two of you weave your way around the crowded round tables of the bustling lunch room, knuckles white as you grip the edges of your red, plastic tray rather tightly without knowledge.

“yeah, you said….” you mumble, eyebrows furrowed as your brain replays the seven second phrase whispered by a delightfully sultry voice. atta girl.. that wasn’t too hard, now was it? “something about…..”

“you’re thinking about heeseung again, aren’t you?” ryung asks you in a rather displeased tone, followed by a soft groan. he picks up his pace towards your designated lunch table surrounded by your friends, leaving you in the dust just a few feet behind him.

your cheeks bloom red with an embarrassed twinge traveling up your spine, settling your tray onto the plastic tabletop as you take your seat beside your friend. a boy named jay sits across from you, his black hoodie hiked up over his blond-dyed curls. his leg is bobbing in a rather frantic fashion, a black fingerless gloved hand plucking a sad, soggy fry out of its parchment paper. “nice of you to join us, gang.”

“jay, you’re my new best friend now.” ryung declares with a mock-frown present on his lips, pushing his tray further across the table so he can fold his arms on top of it. he flicks his head over towards you, teasingly throwing a glare your way. “this one is too lovesick for me to handle.”

“you’re still hung up on heeseung?” jay asks in bewilderment, his eyebrows raising high behind platinum curls. “the weird, artsy boy that everyone likes because he wears eyeliner?” you hear a couple of muffled chuckles across the table that you meekly roll your eyes at, prodding your pathetic lunch food with a fork.

“stop judging me.”

“i’m not judging you.” jay only shrugs, his eyebrows furrowing together as he reaches for another fry. he throws it in the air to catch it into his mouth, but it only misses and boomerangs off of his chin. “i just thought you’d be over it by now, considering he’s practically glued to my stepsister. also, his locker probably gets raided with love notes like, everyday. overrated, in my opinion.”

your mouth falls slightly ajar, your fork stopping it’s torturing against your mysterious lunch meat. you process jay’s words as you painfully watch jay pluck the fry from the floor and plop it into his mouth. “is suyun your stepsister?” you suddenly remember the events from the bar and that girl who had laid her head on heeseung’s lap.

ryung hisses in disgust. “you did not just eat that!”

“i did just eat that, ryung.” jay murmurs in reply mid-chew, throwing the disgusted boy a lazy wink. he then flicks his eyes back to you, an amused curve lifting at his lip in satisfaction of your reaction. “yeah, suyun’s my stepsister. she’s like, obsessed with him. they’re always out doing shit.”

“are they like….” a rosace tint blossoms in your cheeks at your approaching question, avoiding jay’s intense eyes for a lick of a second. “are they… dating?” you’ve never interacted with suyun enough to know this type of information, considering she acts like you don’t exist most of the time.

jay furrows his brows and scrunches up his nose, taking a quick swig of his mysteriously green colored drink. “no, no,” he shakes his head, hiking up his hoodie sleeves. a teacher quickly swoops behind him to pull the hood off of his head, but he quickly pulls it back over his blond curls. “no, she just has a freaky fixation with him. kinda feel bad for the poor guy, my stepsister is a train-wreck. biggest brat you’ve ever seen, always gets what she wants.”

you’re not gonna lie to yourself and say that a little glimmer of hope didn’t flicker behind the irises of your eyes, your teeth nibbling at your bottom lip. jay leans his body to the side to peer out at something behind you, his chin nodding briefly. “see, she’s sitting with him right now.” ryung and all of your other friends quickly turn their heads to follow jay’s gaze. “talking his head off. probably didn’t give him a choice. someone needs to rescue him from that embodiment of arsenic.”

you suddenly feel a punch in your arm, a quiet yelp slipping past your lips as you throw a glare over at a cheesing ryung. “i say y/n should.” heat swells up your neck. “he’d probably like that. you said he’s always staring at you, right? maybe he likes you back.”

“ryung.” you knit your eyebrows together, reaching your warm palm up to rub at the spot he punched. “ryung.. no.”

“ryung, yes.” jay suddenly exclaims, his eyebrows raising high into his forehead. a malicious yet curious smile lingers at the edges of his lips, as if a lightbulb just flickered on into his head. “please just ask him out. i’d love to see that witch get her broom shoved up her ass.”

“jay… please don’t say that ever again.” ryung whines, squeezing his eyes shut as he begins rubbing his index fingers along his temples. “you give me ulcers.”

“jay,” you furrow your brows and begin prodding at your lunch meat with your fork again, anxiety blooming inside your stomach as you avoid the blond boy’s eyes. “that’d be an embarrassment. i know he doesn’t like me. plus, i don’t want suyun to hate me even more than she does.”

“y/n,” ryung groans, “if he likes you more than suyun, then it isn’t your fault. plus, i see the way he stares at you. almost like he’s gonna jump your bones. it’s kinda scary. i think it’s all the eyeliner.” the boy then suddenly ducks his head down, his hands going to cover the top of his head at the incoming fry that just flew over him.

“probably the eyeliner.” jay says in reply, chucking another fry towards ryung’s head, followed by a squeak from the boy. “if he’s going for an edward cullen look, it’s not really working. maybe more like edward cullen about to pounce on a neck. y/n, you better stock up on some turtlenecks.”

“i don’t think edward cullen wears eyeliner.” ryung chirps from under the table, awaiting another fry bullet to shoot his way.

“yeah yeah, you just like to disagree with me, ryung. another word and you earn yourself another fry to the face.”

“y/n,” ryung chirps from under the table, poking his head out to peer up at you over his rounded, wired frames. “you’ve been drooling over heeseung for ages. i think you should make a move.”

“yeah, and fast.” jay chimes in, standing up to get a better view of ryung. he squints his eyes and points his fry right at the sight of a brown curl peeking out from over the table. “suyun’s planning on asking him out before summer break. heard her say it on the phone.”

“guys.” you groan, folding your arms over the table so you can bury your head into them. “i’m not asking him out.” you hear ryung squeak as a slight thud echoes off of his head.

“then get him to ask you out!” the boy under the table exclaims, a sudden ambush of fries flying over in his direction. “i’m tired of hearing you pine.. and of you zoning out. i was trying to talk about how my new bike already has a flat tire.”

“i’d zone out, too.”

“shut up, jay.”

“would you help me, ryung?” you pitifully ask the boy, your question muffled by the fabric of your shirt sleeves. “help me do it…. please.”

“of course, y/n.” ryung peeks out from under the table at jay, squinting his eyes over at his now sitting figure. ryung slowly climbs back into his seat, not breaking eye contact with the scheming blond boy. “consider it….” ryung mumbles, as the two boy’s begin sizing each other up. “operation… sweet talk.”

“ryung… is the notebook necessary?” you groan, letting your chin rest comfortably in the middle of your palm. you and your friend were seated in a stark, blue booth at your usual meeting place, where you hang around with your cheer-mates and the football team after a game. the local diner.

“hm,” ryung taps the end of a blue-ink pen against the curve of his chin, a miniature, spiral notebook fallen open on top of the plastic tabletop in front of him. “yes,” he mumbles, his dark eyebrows tightened into a line as he narrows his eyes at you. “yes, it is necessary. operation sweet talk is in session.”

“this feels like an interrogation.”

“tell me, y/n,” ryung begins lowly in a teasing, serious tone. he leans forward into the table and clasps his hands together in front of him, tonguing the inside of his cheek. you watch the silver chainlink of his necklace fold over against his notebook. “do you see heeseung often at school?”

“um.” you begin, nibbling on your bottom lip. you avert your gaze onto the mustard and ketchup bottles situated in the middle of the table as you think to yourself, glimpses and memories of your school life painting itself across the canvas of your brain. you can only ever remember seeing heeseung at lunch, sitting all the way on the other side of the cafeteria, doodling in a notebook like he always does. “no,” you shake your head softly. “i rarely am within like, ten feet from him.”

“interesting…” ryung mumbles, quirking a brow. he pushes the bridge of his gold frames up his sloped nose, his eyes scanning you up and down before picking up his pen and hunching over his notebook, scribbling fast-paced writings into its crisp page. “… that is so sad. i might have a better chance at asking him out, then.”

you furrow your eyebrows at the brunette boy, lifting the straw of your styrofoam cup to your lips, sucking up the slow, chocolate milkshake inside. “what is that supposed to mean?”

“what i mean,” ryung sighs, lifting up his thick eyebrows. he straightens up his spine to give you a stern look, tapping the end of his pen against his open page. “he’s always sitting up there on the bleachers when i have practice.” he lets out a soft snort, an amused curve lifting to the corner of his lips. “he probably knows more about my existence than yours.”

at the end of ryung’s discouraging statement, you immediately lift your head up from your palm, your eyes widening and your lips falling ajar. “ryung!” you excitedly exclaim, slapping your palm to the middle of the table. “that’s it! that’s the plan!”

the boy quirks his brow at your sudden enlightenment, his eyebrows knitting together slowly. “you…. want me to ask him out for you? that’s kinda…” the boy’s eyes avert to his briefly scribbled page, his facial expression scrunching up with cringe. “that’s kind of…. a terrible, pathetic idea…”

“no, stupid.” you groan, grabbing the pen settled in the middle of his notebook to begin tapping it against the plastic table repeatedly. for affect, of course. “i’ll start coming to your practices so i can talk to him!”

“oh!” the boy chuckles, adjusting the temples of his glasses subtly. “that makes more sense. kind of offended that’s the only way you’d come to my practices, though, y/n.”

“you know how much i hate football, ryung.” you reply teasingly, attempting to flip the pen through your fingers, but failing miserably. “it’s painfully boring.” you watch the boy slowly shake his head at you as a soft chuckle breathes through his parted, pink lips, letting his back fall against the back of the booth.

“if heeseung was the quarterback, it wouldn’t be so boring, now would it?”

“you got me there.” you mumble with an amused smirk, your attention suddenly being pulled away from ryung’s round face to the movement of the diner’s glass doors opening. your mood immediately falters when you recognize the familiar faces flooding right into your territory, faces you’d rather remember in the confinements of football games and the girls’ locker room.

“just why are they here right now?” you whine quietly to ryung, who throws his head back to take a look after being witness to your sorrowful displeasure. ryung then let’s out a groan, the two of you watching the whole football team and your cheer squad make their way to the front counter.

“hey, where’s jay?” ryung mutters with a soft pout, his neck straining as he tilts his head to scan the unnecessarily large group crowding the counter. “i don’t see him.”

“why would jay wanna hang out with these dumb idiots off the field?” you mumble hastily as you slip your bottom lip between your teeth, your brain frantically trying to scheme a way out of here without being seen.

“you know, y/n…. you have a point.”

“let’s go, they’re distracted.” you whisper to your friend as you lean in closer into the table, making sure he can hear you. you keep your eyes trained on the occupied group as you slowly reach over to close ryung’s notebook with the pen settled in the middle of it, sliding it over to yourself. your fingers itch with anticipation as you and ryung scoot yourselves to the end of your seats, preparing to make a run for it. “okay, let’s—”

to your horror, you and ryung painfully watch as hwang, who was located in the back of the malevolent herd of scoundrels, whips right around and begins walking towards the two of you with an idiotic, dopey smile to his pointed features. ah, fuck. you and ryung exchange miserable looks as you both begin sadly sliding yourselves back into your booths. “hey, look, it’s you freakin’ potheads!” hwang calls out loudly in the middle of the diner, his arms outstretched as he makes his way over. now, everyone, including the turd herd, have their heads turned directly towards you. awesome.

“we don’t even smoke weed.” ryung chokes out as hwang begins crushing his ribs in an uncomfortable looking, bent over, side hug.

“sure ya do, you little twink.” hwang chuckles loudly into ryung’s ear, ruffling up the top of his head with his knuckle. “you little lovebirds are gonna bring me some at our football party this saturday, alright? and then we can all partake in a three-way orgy stoned off our fuckin’ heads!”

“for the last time.” you groan, your cheeks flushing with irritation, your leg bobbing with the impatient urge to kick this obnoxious man right where the sun doesn’t shine. “me and ryung aren’t dating. and there will be no baked threesomes. now,” you slide back to the edge of your booth, slowly standing to your feet with ryung’s notebook under your arm. “will you excuse us, we will be leaving now.”

“but we just got here, man!” hwang whines with knitted eyebrows, his blue letterman jacket sliding off of his broad shoulder. he lets go of ryung, and immediately, the two of you quickly slide past hwang’s clutches and weave your way down the expanse of the diner, practically running out through the glass doors to avoid any more mind-numbing interactions.

“hey!” hwang calls as he watches the two of you leave with a soft pout to his lips. “so the kind weed donation is off or what?!”

you can already see him as you squint through the thin lines of your touching eyelashes, shielding your retinas from the harsh rays of serene sunlight. there, perched perfectly on the highest metal rung of bleachers tucked in the far left corner, sat heeseung, his back leaned over into a notebook that sat carefully against his knees.

the gravel crunches below your black converses, your fists folded neatly away in the comfort of your jean pockets. “just go up there.” ryung, who is walking beside you, leans over to mumble quietly into your ear. “and make some small talk.” you let out an anxious whine as you attempt blinking away the intruding sunlight, the football field and heeseung’s sitting figure bleeding closer into your proximity.

you hope the expensive, vanilla perfume you bought online from a tarot card reader wasn’t polluting the air from the amount you sprayed onto your neck. you might have applied a generous amount, but hey, ryung hasn’t pointed it out yet. so just maybe you and the environment around you were safe.

“don’t be a wuss.” ryung teases, the curve of his lip hiking up as he lightly hits you in the butt with his football helmet, his gaze lingering on you through the absence of his usual glasses. “if you end up chickening out on operation sweet talk, might just give him my own number.”

“shut up.” you groan with an amused tilt of your lips, shoving him lightly in his shoulder pad. he lets out a small giggle as the football field now is nothing but a few feet away from you, ryung shortly departing from your lonesome, nervous self.

“hey,” he calls out, throwing his head back as he jogs towards the open part in the fence. he outstretches his arm to point at you with his helmet. “i believe in you! whatever overly sweet spray you’ve got on will do wonders!” you only glare at him meekly before heading down the gravel over towards the bleachers, your heart beating up inside your ears.

“okay, y/n.” you whisper to yourself, your fists growing sweaty in your pockets. “you can do this.” you take a long, deep breath before slowly perching your foot up onto the first metal stair on the end of the bleachers, thanking every god in the sky that heeseung hasn’t looked up yet. as you begin slowly up the steps, your cheeks suddenly flush crimson at the loud echo of metal that rings out with your every step. you wince, not even daring to bat heeseung an eye, knowing he’s probably already staring at you now.

your body flushes with heat as you decide to just pick up your pace, finally stepping onto the final stair, right at the row where heeseung was sitting. you quickly glance over at him, relieved that he’s still just scribbling in that notebook. the slight breeze of the summer weather wafts heeseung’s woodsy cologne right into your nose. you feel as if you could lift yourself off the ground any moment and float your way right over to him, following his scent like a childish cartoon. you quickly blink your aroma-induced lust away and slowly begin making your way down the bleacher aisle.

you feel a little awkward as you sit yourself down a good distance away from the doodling boy. oh god, you think to yourself, i hope ryung isn’t watching me right now. you chew on your bottom lip, your mind suddenly surging with panic as long, painful seconds go by of you just sitting in silence while you listen to heeseung’s pencil scribble against his notebook. god, take me now please.

“um,” you croak out, your heart leaping up your esophagus. you take a shaky breath and furrow your brows down at your shoes. you immediately let the first thought roll off of your tongue without thought. “do you… smell that too?”

heeseung, as if he didn’t even realize someone had seated themselves beside him, immediately snaps his head over towards you, his eyebrows raised into his forehead. he plucks out his earbud that you didn’t even realize he had in, and holds it at his ear, plopping his pencil into the middle of his notebook. “i’m sorry?” he asks softly, his eyebrows furrowing together as he chews on blue raspberry bubblegum between his pearly teeth.

“n-nothing.” you mumble, furrowing your brows nervously as you quickly shake your head. “u-um,” you avert your gaze to his open notebook, a messy sketch of the football field scribbled onto its page. “what’re you uh… what’re you drawing?”

the boy immediately tilts his head down to his drawing, his silver hoop earrings rattling behind overgrown curls of perfectly messy chocolate hair. “uh, well,” he begins with a soft clear of his throat, the corner of his glossy lips curving up slightly as he examines his doodle. “you see the different hues of blue just above the horizon line?” heeseung mumbles, looking up briefly to point a gold ring encircled finger out towards the sky. “just always looks the prettiest up here. so… i just …. just like sketching it sometimes.”

“oh,” you croak softly, your eyebrows raising as you scoot yourself just a little closer to him to examine his sketch better. he notices your movements and tilts his notebook more into your view with a ring embroidered hand, his loud, noisy music blaring subtly from his exposed earbud. “that’s actually really good.”

“you think so?” heeseung mumbles with a quirk of his brow, the corner of his lip still raised. his eyes flicker carefully among the contents of his page. “thank you, i appreciate it. so, uh, come up here to watch the practice, or what?”

“uh, yeah.” you begin, your eyes then turning to peer out at the variety of players scattered along the football field, subconsciously looking for your four eyed friend. “you see number 12 out there?” you suddenly ask when you spot ryung in the middle of the field. you point your finger out towards him, heeseung’s gaze following it. “i’m here to watch him, actually.”

heeseung’s lips fall ajar slightly, his chin ticking up in realization. “oh,” he mumbles, his eyebrows raising. he then looks back down at his notebook, observing his drawing with furrowed eyebrows. “alright.”

tense silence suddenly surrounds the air encircling both of you, twiddling your thumbs awkwardly as you desperately and quickly try to flick through the files inside your brain for something to say, something to really make an impression. your ears are suddenly met with pencil on paper again, and a brief click of heeseung’s tongue beats you to the podium.

“good job at pool the other day,” heeseung mumbles through a subtle, sly curve of his lip, eyebrows slowly furrowing as he seems to be focused on outlining the white patterns of his drawn football field. “by the way.” he quickly adds, sweat beginning to gleam against his exposed biceps. he quickly flips his pencil in his palm to erase a wonky curve, the wood clanking with his chunky finger jewelry.

for some reason this brings heat to the apples of your cheeks, your brain running a mile a minute. you didn’t notice your mind had completely ran dry until heeseung lifts his head up towards you at your silence, his smirk parting to reveal the bottoms of his lined teeth. “thanks,” you finally nervously chuckle, reaching a hand up to brush back the hair in your face. “it really was just… just luck, to be honest.” the way heeseung had paused his pencil movements to study your reddening face, makes sweat bead along your brow.

his hooded gaze lingers just a second longer, the black t-shirt he had stuffed up under his studded belt sticks to his slouched abdomen from the brushes of the breeze. you try your best not to look. “you’ve never played pool before?” he finally asks you softly, flicking out of his stare to go back to shading his drawing. the slight curve of his lip and the tones of his statements almost feel as if he’s playing with you, teasing with you, toying with how much information you’re willing to give him.

“no, actually.” you finally reply, watching the tip of his pencil slowly curve against his page as he outlines the horizon. “that was… my first time. like ever.”

“yeah?” he quirks, the curve growing against his pink lips. “you’ve got… you’ve got some potential. if you let me teach you how to really play, we could put that potential to use, y/n.”

“i don’t know about that,” you nervously chuckle, your eyelids squinting against the beaming sun as you lift your head up to gaze out into the football field, your eyes following your curly haired friend as he rushes down the grass with a football under his arm. “i don’t really want to improve in that area. not really something i’d ever wanna do again. ever. but… i appreciate the offer, god of pool.”

right after the words roll off your tongue, heeseung immediately throws his head back in breathy chuckles, his eyes squeezing shut. “wow.” he mutters amusingly, shaking his head subtly as he playfully tongues the inside of his cheek. “don’t think i’ve ever been called that before. not sure if i should be…. flattered or offended.”

“maybe both.” you mumble teasingly, your gaze shifting back to his now fully drawn football field. your eyes roam around the curves and shadings of the sky horizon, your eyebrows raising with genuine impression.

suddenly, a lightbulb goes off into your head, a malicious grin pressing at the back of your lips as the most cunning idea of getting heeseung’s attention slithers through the crevices of your brain. you bat your eyelashes over at him innocently. “hey, have you ever… drawn people?”

his eyes immediately flicker back over to yours, his teeth beginning to nibble on his bottom lip curiously. his eyebrows furrow and he cocks his head slightly at you, his eyes traveling around your features as if trying to read you. he then slips his lip out of his teeth with a sharp, hushed chuckle, picking up his pencil and hunching back over his notebook, scribbling lightly against his drawn fence of the football field. “uh, no,” he mumbles, that amused smirk still teetering on the edge of his lip. “i can’t say that i have.” he then mumbles his next sentence with a curious, almost sultry tone that you recognize all too well. he blows a quick blue bubble with his gum, before it pops seconds after. “why do you ask?”

you shrug lightly, your gaze averting down to your lap as you begin to pick at your cuticles. “i don’t know,” you mumble, your cheeks beginning to flush with a nervous twinge crawling up your spine. “just curious.”

your body almost tingles at the low, rasped hum that slips easily out of heeseung’s nose, his attention still glued to his notebook. “just curious?” he asks again, in a tone you cant figure out. “you can ask me the question, i’m not gonna bite.”

your body immediately flushes with heat. “what question?” you ask him in mock-sincerity, watching as he swipes away eraser dust from his page.

“you… are you asking me to draw you?”

“uh,” you begin nervously, his heavy cologne making your brain turn to mush. “only if you want to.” he then looks back over at you, his eyebrows raised up behind his long, curly fringe. you can see the smudged eyeliner lining his eyes and the subtle, silver piercings that line the edge of his earlobe.

“okay.” he chuckles softly, furrowing his eyebrows in a way that only makes you feel dumb for bringing it up. as if on cue, the coach down below on the football field blows a whistle, which causes heeseung to close his notebook and straighten his spine. no other words are spoken between the two of you, as you painfully watch him stand to his feet and jog lightly down the bleacher steps. once heeseung’s making his way down the gravel, you immediately let out an embarrassed groan, letting your head fall into your palms.

never doing that again. now i have a valid reason to never attend ryung’s practices. no hard feelings?

“quiet.” a white haired lady dotted in over-the-top emerald green eyeshadow scowls at you and ryung by the fiction section, lifting a bony finger to her pursed, thin lips. you and ryung immediately both flush with red, muttering an array of sorry’s. you watch as the librarian finally walks away from the section, leaving you and ryung alone again hidden in the back of the library.

“so what i was trying to say was,” ryung whispers, leaning his back against the wooden shelf lined up the wall. he sticks his hands into his denim jacket pockets, before pushing up the bridge of his glasses with a finger. “you think that you blew it with edward cullen in eyeliner two days ago. can you remind me why, again?”

“yes, ryung,” you whisper harshly, your back up against the shelf right in front of the boy. you cross your arms over your chest and furrow your brows solemnly. “i asked him to draw me. he probably thought i was so embarrassing. that’s probably why i haven’t seen him in two days. maybe he’s avoiding me. i wanna back out of operation sweet talk. now. i resign from my position, chief.”

“hey.” ryung frowns, knitting his eyebrows together as he plucks a book from the shelf behind him, taking a quick step closer to you to wack you in the arm with it. “there will be no resigning. you’re just overthinking. give it a few more tries before you give up. you don’t wanna see him frolicking in the freshly dewed grass with suyun on his arm next year, do you?”

you glare at him, a pout jutting at your lips. “…. no.”

“okay then.” ryung rolls his eyes, turning the book over in his hand to observe the cover. his face distorts into disgust when he sees its little women, and immediately shoves it back onto the shelf. “anyway,” he sighs, turning back towards you with a side smirk. “hwang’s football party is coming up, maybe you can—” his eyes immediately dart over to something behind you in the distance, his lips pursing into a line and his eyes widening behind his frames. “um… y/n. don’t turn around.”

your heart begins beating quickly inside your chest with curiosity, your eyebrows tightening above your eyes as you slowly turn around, peeking your head out behind the safety of your wooden shelving. your eyes suddenly land on heeseung, his arm around suyun’s shoulder as hushed laughter takes over both of them. you watch as they walk right by the sci-fi section. your heart immediately sinks to your stomach. ryung sighs. “… okay, i was wrong. they might already be frolicking in freshly dewed grass…. together.”

you let a small sigh pass through your lips, a small lump developing in your throat. “it’s okay,” you mumble, slowly turning back around towards ryung. “i get it, really. suyun’s a super attractive girl and she seems to be… seems to be super amazing to get along with and very funny, as i can see, considering they’re.. laughing and touching, and—”

“y/n.” ryung groans, taking a step closer towards you and grabs your arm, pulling you away from the fiction section. “stop you’re wallowing.”

you groan behind the boy. “where are we going?”

“well,” ryung sighs, dragging you throughout the aisles of books. “i just remembered i need to do a non-fiction book report about a predatory-prey animal relationship before friday.”

“… ryung, it’s thursday.”

“i know.” the boy replies in a disgruntled tone, his pace slowing down as the two of you near the vast book shelf of non fiction books. he slowly lets go of your arm, his gaze wondering around the infinite number of exposed spines. he places his hands on his hips, slipping his lip between his teeth. “it’s a very urgent matter, if you cannot tell.”

“yeah,” you snort, crossing your arms over your chest as you study your friend. “considering you put it off until the last minute. very good time management skills ryung, i must say.”

“why, thank you.” the boy mutters, running his fingers along the array of book spines, his eyes squinting as he reads the fine print lining each one. “man, i might just have to ask if i can extend my due date until monday. but if i do that, i’d have to study instead of going to the football party. so that would suck.”

“ryung,” you groan, leaning your side into the bookshelf, eyes observing your friend’s side profile. “don’t make me go alone.”

“just ask heeseung.”

“no. he probably already asked suyun. you know what, if you’re not going, then i’m not going.”

“you know what, y/n,” ryung mutters, plucking out a thick picture book with a prowling cheetah printed on the cover. he opens it up briefly and flips through its pages. “i’m not gonna do that to you. i’ll go, but i might be in the corner with my nose in a… cheetah survival instincts… book.”

you let out a relieved sigh, pushing yourself away from the bookshelf. “that works, ryung. that’s completely fine with me.” you suddenly freeze at the faint sounds of footsteps suddenly approaching shortly behind you, before you hear a light whisper right above your ear.

“y/n.”

at the sound of the all too familiar low-set voice, you quickly turn around in your spot, making sure ryung’s back was to you so he doesn’t witness you embarrass yourself. your eyes are suddenly met with heeseung’s, who’s dark lined brown orbs are hidden behind strands of dark brown hair, a half curve to his glossy lips and a mischievous glint hidden inside his dark eyes. before you can even part your drying lips to speak, the boy whispers again. “open your palm.” you blink up at him, before registering his words and lifting up your palm, spreading out your fingers.

“what’s….?”

you watch as the tall boy stuffs a quick hand into his pocket, his eyes never leaving your curious features. he slips out a folded up piece of notebook paper, and places it right in the center of your palm. “hope you don’t mind the quality,” he rasps lowly, “may have had to rush a bit.” your brain goes blank with a variety of burning, raging questions, only being able to watch as he begins walking backwards, the curve on his lip spreading into an admiring, amused smile. “see you around, y/n.” the dim lights of the library highlight his adam’s apple as he lifts his chin up slightly, observing you under his eyelashes. he then slips cooly back behind the bookshelf, his footsteps now becoming a distant thud.

you stand there, your brain trying to process everything that had just happened. ryung had now approached you, his quiet voice being heard over your shoulder. “um… y/n. what did he just give you?” you swallow the dryness in your throat and slowly look down at the crumbled piece of paper in your hand, before you slowly unfold it with a slow, inhaling, suspenseful breath.

ryung gasps softly under his breath. “oh…. my god.”

once you’ve unfolded the paper between your fingers, your mouth falls ajar at the image, your cheeks flushing red. scribbled beautifully onto the page, was a drawing of you, sitting on top of a sloppily outlined counter. a cup with a straw was positioned between your hands, the tip of the straw hidden behind puckered lips. your cheeks were dusted with a red color pencil and written lazily in the bottom corner of the page, was heeseung’s signature. right under it in minuscule letters read the date. exactly last saturday, when you had played pool at the bar.

“wait a fucking minute.” ryung whispers in your ear, your heartbeat throbbing in your eardrums. “is that you…. at the bar last weekend?!”

“i think… i think it is.” you mumble in utter shock, not being able to tear away your gaze from heeseung’s unexpected drawing. “look,” you whisper sharply, placing a finger on top of the scribbled drink in your tiny, pencil sketched hand. “my chocolate milkshake…”

“okay, y/n,” ryung chuckles nervously, backing away from your shoulder. “if i were you, i’d either be super flattered or super creeped out. i don’t know which one you should be.”

“i don’t know either, ryung.” you mumble, feeling the heat crawl up your neck. “i don’t know, but i’m feeling super attracted to him right now.”

“ew. stop being weird.” ryung mutters, shaking his head teasingly at you with furrowed, hidden brows. he then turns back towards the nonfiction books and crosses his arms over his chest, a dry chuckle passing his lips. “god, you kids are crazy. i’m trying to look for my nonfiction book over here, and guinevere beck is drooling over the picture joe goldberg drew of her last weekend. awesome. this sounds like it’s gonna play out great.”

“you’re so supportive, ryung.”

“next thing you know, edward cullen is gonna suck bella’s blood before she can even say lee heeseung.”

“this is why you’re single.”

throughout the rest of your mind-numbing, boring school day, the only thing that ran inside your mind like a hamster on a spinning wheel, was heeseung and his drawing. your leg bobbed feverishly as you sat at your desk in economics class, mind distorting and blurring the sleep-induced words of your teacher, nothing but visions of that crumbled piece of paper melting through the cracks of your subconscious. as you ate lunch, as you studied in the student cafe, as you talked to your cheer friends in science class. it was consuming your whole entire being, it was devouring you whole.

it was eating at your system so much, that right before your cheer practice after school, you walked right out through the back double doors and right down to the field. you kept the folded drawing warm in the confinements of your jean pocket, your fist softly clutching the parchment as if afraid it might run away. your shoes crunched the gravel below you, eyes observing the football players gathering onto the vast field. i’m going to talk to him.

but unfortunately, to your dismay, you soon figure out that the boy is nowhere to be seen. the bleachers deemed themselves vacant, and it only brought a sour feeling to spread in the pit of your stomach. as you sulkily traveled up the gravelly hill back into the building, you check your surroundings. heeseung is no where in sight. of course this disappointed you, considering you were going to thank the boy for such a thoughtful, admiring, unexpected gesture. but now you couldn’t, and you don’t know just when you’ll get the opportunity again.

hiking up your short, blue and gold cheer skirt, the loud, echoing voices of the girl’s locker room settles inside your eardrums. the room is humid and makes your cheer top almost impossible to put on, considering the stickiness blooming on top of your skin. your mood was already faltered from the absence of lee heeseung, that there was no point in conversing with your cheer mates. you had already established this thought in your head, when a familiar, squeaky, annoying voice chirps right into your ear.

“y/n!” suyun squeaks, making your head want to physically pop like a pimple right off of your body. you imagined the puss would squirt all over rhee suyun. “are you going to go to hwang’s party after the game on saturday?” you don’t even dare turning around to look at this beady eyed rat right into her sinister little eyes. you begin fetching your comb from your open locker, quickly beginning to comb out the length of your hair.

“i don’t know.” you mumble, not willing to repeat yourself if she asked. “i always go, don’t i?”

“well yeah,” suyun chuckles, spraying heavy amounts of flower scented body spray all over herself. “i just ask this time because, well, i don’t want you to be sad when you see me and heeseung together. that’s really all.”

you pause your comb’s motions midway in your hair, clenching your teeth together. anger rises up your spine and blooms throughout your chest, your eyelids fluttering shut to maintain your own sanity.

“yeah, y/n…. i know you have a thing for him. i heard jay telling that little gay boy with the glasses on the phone last night.” her tone was almost too innocent, acting like she wasn’t the most vile being to ever hang around. you decide to stay silent, slowly finishing your brushing. “it’s okay, no hard feelings. at least you know he’s mine now, right? glad we could chit-chat, y/n!” you hear her locker slam with a soft thud, before her white tennis shoes clunk swiftly down the slick, locker room floor.

yeah, you think to yourself, as you push your locker door shut, hastily tying your hair up with your usual gold ribbon. your mind flickers with images of heeseung’s sweet drawing and the rosy blush he gave you, despite the fact that any possible blush you could have had that day would’ve been completely invisible from the low lights. he’s aaaalll yours.

god, ironically enough, you wish ryung was here. the one night you were supposed to go clothes shopping for hwang’s party, exactly one day prior, jay calls him up for help on his nonfiction predatory-prey book report. and who’s one to say no to their secret football crush only you’re aware of? not choi min-ryung. you’re fine with it really, you’re just walking by yourself down the risky, shop heavy part of town in the rain at 10pm. psh, you don’t need him.

you let out a solemn sigh as the plastic bag strap between your fingers grows clammy through the feverish, cooling air. your pace is slow and patient as the bottoms of your shoes clobber down the stone sidewalks lining the lines of shops by your right, all decorated with illuminating fairy lights and crimped, pastel awnings. you let your heavy shopping bag containing denim shorts and fishnet stalkings bump up against your legs as you walk, mentally groaning at the increasing amount of drizzles plopping on top of your head.

under the glinting moonlight, your eyes scan for any possible shop that would contain face paint of any sort, knowing the whole cheer squad and football team would be participating with cheeks striped with blue and gold. you can’t be the only one without it. as you walk by a craft store, your eyes trained on its beaded jewelry display, you’re suddenly startled by someone clearing their throat rather loudly beside its entrance.

you halt suddenly in your tracks, eyes trying to focus in on the figure sitting beside the entrance, their back against the brick. it’s hard to study them under the dim street lamp lights, only coming to the realization once the bellowing smoke cloud pouring from their lips simply dissolves under flickering, orange light. heeseung. “well, aren’t you a daring girl. seems a little dangerous to walk by yourself at night, huh, y/n?”

you watch in shock as he peers over at you under half lidded eyes, the back of his head lolling towards you as it leans against the brick. you watch the curve of his lip and the bob of his adam’s apple as he swallows, his layered, brown hair brushed back from his forehead. he studies your frozen expression and lifts his eyebrows at you, his ringed thumb flicking ash from the back of his cigarette.

shit. should have wore my perfume. “uh,” you mumble, watching the glint of his silver, dangly star earrings. “i know, but… i’m fine.” is all you can mutter out as you watch him place his cigarette back between his parted lips. “what are you um,” your cross your arms nervously over your chest in an attempt of mock-confidence. “what’re you doing out here? stalking me?”

heeseung let’s out a short chuckle, eyebrows furrowing as smoke begins blowing out of his nostrils. “no, y/n.” he then lifts up the plastic bag seated beside him that you didn’t notice before. “same thing as you, i can see.” you nod slowly at his shopping bag, your eyes lingering on his figure as the top of your head is suddenly being pelted with raindrops.

“ah,” you squeak, reaching your arms up above your head, as if that’ll stop the water’s ruthless beatings. you watch as heeseung climbs to his feet, dropping his cigarette down towards the sidewalk.

“c’mon, before it gets worse.” he reaches his hand out towards the craft store door, fingers wrapping around the door handle. he opens up the glass door for you, waiting for your figure to step inside. you quickly head inside the air conditioned store, an immediate sigh of relief slipping past your lips.

“thank you,” you mumble to him as he files in right behind you, the door closing with a slight thud. “maybe they’ll have face paint.” you mutter, eyes beginning to roam the infinite amount of uniquely lined shelves. you wonder down the first aisle you see, faint pop music wafting it’s way into your eardrums. your eyes scan the shelves briefly, acknowledging their souvenir-like knick knacks. you didn’t realize heeseung had been following you until you hear his soft voice somewhere close behind you.

“so, where’s your boyfriend?” you hear him ask, causing your heart rate to increase and your eyebrows to furrow. you slowly turn around in your spot, eyes narrowed on heeseung’s figure that was leaning coyly into the end of the shelf, one hand stuffed into the pocket of his ripped, black skinny jeans. his cheeks were surprisingly dusted with red, a shade you haven’t seen on the boy before.

“who’s my boyfriend?” you ask him hesitantly, watching his eyebrows tighten confusingly. he tongues the inside of his cheek and let’s a curious half smile tick up his cheek, his stuffed-in black button up clinging slightly to his abdomen.

“uh..” heeseung begins hesitantly, his eyebrows tightening even more above his brown, doe eyes. “you know… kid with glasses. number 12..?” you notice the way the red in his cheeks deepen just a little more.

the gears of your brain begin turning, a light red blooming at your own cheeks. “ryung?” you begin shaking your head softly, your lip tensing with a soft curve. “ryung is not my boyfriend. ryung is gay. he’s just my best friend.”

“oh,” heeseung let’s out an embarrassed, nervous chuckle, reaching a toned arm up to rub at the back of his neck. his eyes dart to a hawaiian bobble head on the nearby shelf. “that… that makes sense. i’m sorry.”

“don’t apologize.” you giggle softly, flashing him a comforted smile. you turn your attention back towards the tacky knickknacks, plucking one off of the shelf to examine it in your palm. “he, uh, bailed on me last minute. to answer your question.” you see in your peripheral vision heeseung reaching out for a knick knack on the same shelf, turning it over into his palm.

“he’s not a very good friend, then, hm?” he mumbles, his tongue peeking out briefly to moisten his lips. “leaving you by your lonesome like this.” he then makes three tsk noises with his tongue, his head shaking teasingly. “highly irresponsible.”

“it’s not like i’m alone now,” you mumble, your finger dragging along the shelved objects as you slowly begin down the aisle. “you’re here with me.” you hear heeseung hum behind you, his signature, woodsy cologne floating into your senses.

“how do you know you can trust me?” he mumbles, eyes trained on the shelves. “you don’t really know me very well, y/n. i could be a criminal waiting to jump you and take all your money.”

you let out a short chuckle. “you’re right, kinda sounds like something you’d do. considering you drew me without my knowledge at the bar last weekend.”

“…. not gonna lie, that one hurt.”

you giggle at his reply, stopping in your tracks when you spot packs of face paint hung on metal rungs towards the bottom of the shelf. “thank you for the drawing…. by the way. i really liked it.” heat blooms to your neck as you slowly crouch down, fingers brushing along the words lining the packages. “just curious, what inspired you to draw me that day?”

heeseung hums low in his throat again, his fist rummaging inside his pocket for his cigarette pack. an admiring smile etches into his cheeks and lifts his rounded ears, strands of his hair falling into his eyes. “remember on the bleachers i told you that the skyline was just so pretty up there, i had to draw it?”

you pause your finger’s motions, heat blooming across your neck and throughout your body. “yes.”

you hear the flicker of heeseung’s lighter. “should you need a further explanation?”

you stay crouched down, ears tuning into heeseung’s scorching words, the tips of your ears burning red. “so… you think i’m pretty?” you ask him hesitantly, glad that your crimson cheeks were hidden from heeseung’s view.

“no,” he mumbles, after blowing out smoke from his new cigarette. “i think that you’re beautiful.”

you felt as if your body could melt into the ceramic tile flooring. “um,” you begin, your temples pulsing anxiously. “so… why didn’t suyun tag along with you tonight?” you ask him quietly, quickly trying to change the subject so you don’t embarrass yourself further.

“she’s already got tomorrow sorted out.” heeseung replies softly, leaning back into the shelving. you slowly climb back up to your feet, with two packages of face paint in your hold. “she also uh,” heeseung begins, a teasing smile edging at his lips as he quickly glances down towards the ground, lifting his cigarette to his lips. he takes in a huff as you turn towards him with anticipating eyes, his eyebrows quirking as smoke bellows out of his nostrils again. “she told me something about you.”

you suddenly widen your eyes, your brain remembering the last, dreadful conversation you had with the beady-eyed girl. your heart begins to thrash quickly against your chest. “what did she say?”

heeseung studies your facial features, that same, taunting smirk playing at the edge of his lip. “she said you have a secret you’re hiding from me. she wouldn’t tell me what it was, though.” he then cocks his head at you, his eyebrows furrowing teasingly. you watch the edge of his long, star earring dance against his shoulder. “anything you’d like to add on that subject?”

you swallow nervously in your throat, avoiding his intimidating, intense gaze. you pretend to peer down at the face paint between your fingertips. “…um, no. i don’t even.. i don’t even know what she’s talking about.” god, you sound so unconvincing. you wish you were a better liar.

“yeah?” he quirks, his tongue swiftly rolling against the inside of his cheek and out between his lips, taking one step closer towards you. “y/n.” he whispers, leaning his head down closer towards your own. he props his elbow up against the shelf, leaning his side into his arm. his cologne burns your nostrils. heat blooms across your cheeks as you watch his eyes study your lips. “i’ll tell you my secret, if you tell me yours.”

your throat grows dry, slowly taking a step back from his looming, lanky figure. “i…. i can’t right now.” you tell him through a bite of your lip, watching his eyes examine your nervous features. “later. okay? i promise.”

heeseung narrows his eyes at you teasingly, his slender fingers slowly pushing his cigarette back between the comfort of his lips. “okay.” is all he mumbles, a sly curve growing up the side of his lip. the air seems to grow tense as you head for the checkout line, the manager catching heeseung smoking and kicks him out of the store. you giggle to yourself as you watch him exit through the glass door, a lingering thought dancing on the edges of your brain.

hwang’s party was absolutely nothing like you imagined, considering you thought it’d be held in his mother’s run-down basement. you stand right outside the gymnasium entrance, mascara coated eyelashes blinking up at the huge blue banner hung across the top of the doorframe that read go ravens! in tacky, gold glittered writing. there were hundreds of students filing in and out of the gym, all decorated in the properly colored spirit attire.

you feel your brain pulsing with each techno beat that pounds through the ginormous overhead speakers. you lean over towards ryung beside you, who was clad in his blue and gold ravens jersey and ripped, denim skinny jeans. “has hwang always had this many friends?”

you watch as ryung eyes the gym entrance with intimidated, wide eyes, his finger slowly reaching up to push on the bridge of his glasses. he slowly shakes his head at your question. “i don’t think so….”

“oh,” you shortly gasp, “did you bring your non-fiction book? for studying purposes?”

ryung chuckles nervously, a red color spreading to the expanse of his cheeks. “um, no…. i left it at jay’s house.”

you snort at his confession and slap him briefly in the back. “good job, dummy.”

you had asked ryung prior for his blue letterman jacket, considering you couldn’t find the right shirt for the occasion, and decided to wear it today over a plain, black cropped camisole. your fishnet stalkings sat uncomfortably tight under your shorts and against your skin, having to adjust yourself every few minutes. your hair had been tied up with your golden cheer ribbon, matching hairstyles with all of your cheermates. you almost reached up to itch your cheek but quickly changed your mind when you realized you’d smudge your blue and gold cheek stripes. “so… are you ready to go in now, or…. do you wanna stand out here like idiots for a few more minutes?”

“no, let’s go.” ryung chirps, clapping his hands together. he quickly begins heading towards the gymnasium entrance, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “c’mon, y/n, i heard they spiked the punch this year.” you roll your eyes and nervously begin following your friend inside, intimidated by the large groups of people around you. you and ryung suddenly halt to a quick stop though, when hwang suddenly jumps out in front of you.

“aye, my stoner loners made it!” the boy hollers, his shaggy blond hair adorning a blue stripe right down the middle of his head. he then pulls the both of you into a bone-crushing bear hug. the two of you groan. “bring me that promised devil’s lettuce, or what, kiddos?”

“hwang, please get me out of your armpit.” you groan, your nose face first into the warm, onion-scented cave of his forbidden forest. “please, before i start violently sobbing.”

“sorry, sorry,” hwang chuckles nervously, letting the two of you out of his clutches. “you guys go out there, and have some fun, alright?” he beams, placing both of his hands in the air for the two of you to high five. you and ryung hesitantly do so. “yeah! though i’d watch out for that spiked punch if you wanna be able to drive home tonight!”

hwang let’s out a fit of loud laughter, smacking the two of you hard into your backs before drifting off to converse with other new party attendees. the two of you stand dumbfounded in the middle of the action like little lost puppies, not sure what to do next. “do you want to.. um.. check out the food first.. or..?” you begin to ask, before jay is trudging himself through the crowd of already sweat-covered bodies right towards the two of you.

“c’mon, children,” the boy says through a half smile, clad in a black t-shirt thrown over a royal blue, long-sleeved undershirt. he pops the bubbelgum between his teeth and grabs both of your wrists, dragging you through the hoard. “i saved you guys some seats at my table.”

jay leads the both of you over towards a large round table lined up beside the other round tables by the gym wall, all decked out in gold tablecloths. two of jay’s buddies from the football team already occupy their seats, your eyes landing on the two open ones right beside jay. he pulls out both of the black, plastic chairs for both of you, keeping his grip there as you sit down against the plastic. he leans his head down between you two, so he can speak over the loud commotion of party goers. “what do you guys want to drink?” he asks loudly over the pulsing of the speakers, your eyes just now noticing his gold, glittery eyeshadow.

“uh,” you shake your head softly. “i don’t want anything right now. thanks, though.” jay nods at you, before turning his head softly towards ryung.

“do you wanna go get some of that spiked punch?” he asks the boy excitedly with a grin curving at his lips, which results in ryung hopping right out of his seat.

“fuck, yes!” jay then drags ryung back through the crowd, leaving you alone by two dudes you don’t even know. you’re not sure just how long the two boys are going to stay there, god knows what they’ll be doing, so you let out a small sigh and stand up from your seat.

right as you stood up, you noticed the lighting of the room had changed. from a bright, pink illuminating haze to a deep, purple one, darkening the gym and everyone’s facial features. the song had changed too, now sounding a little bit more and r&b and a lot more dreamier. you reach down to adjust the stockings sitting against your skin as you slowly emerge towards the center of the gym, where students were either seen dancing, making-out, or swaying lightly with their friends.

you nibble on your bottom lip as you subconsciously scan around the gymnasium for that one familiar face. after a good few seconds of not spotting the dark haired boy, you had concluded to yourself that he probably just wasn’t there yet. walking further towards the hectic crowd, your world suddenly comes crashing down onto you when you spot him. not only did you spot him, you also spotted suyun, who was indeed swallowing his face. they were kissing. rather fervently you might add, watching their hands claw all over each other. you suddenly felt dizzy, your heart sinking to the bottom of your stomach.

there was something off about heeseung’s gaze though, but it was hard to see under the dark purple lights. you squint, walking further into the crowd, noticing his eyes aren’t closed, nor are they on suyun. they’re right, directly centered on you.

this makes your heart rate increase, now being bumped by surrounding bodies. your chest suddenly surges with adrenaline and with anger, a lump now forming in the back of your throat. an idea flickers to life up inside your brain, and you immediately begin weaving through the crowd. you trudge your way to the refreshments table, where jay and ryung still linger by. they seemed to be taking shots of the punch and laughing to each other when you approach them, your temples pulsing with frustration.

“ryung.” you begin firmly, trying not to let your lip quiver. the boy’s laughter immediately dies down at your troubled expression, setting down his shot glass and walking closer towards you.

“hey,” he stuffs his hands into his pockets. “hey, what’s wrong?” you can tell he’s getting tipsy by the slur of his words, but you don’t even care right now. you grab onto his wrist and pull him into the crowd, where he begins protesting. “hey!” he exclaims confusingly, letting you drag him through the students. “what are you doing?”

your eyes quickly scan the group for heeseung and suyun again, your teeth nervously chewing on your bottom lip. you spot them, their lips still locked and his eyes still on you, and you turn back towards ryung. “ryung.” you begin firmly with raised brows, grabbing him by the shoulders. “i’m going to make-out with you.” the boy blinks, the color draining in his face and his eyes widening. his body goes stiff.

“what—?”

you immediately cut him off when you crash your lips onto his, the feeling immediately uncomfortable. you could tell the hesitancy in ryung’s rhythm, but he quickly responds the deeper the kiss becomes. you keep your hands tight on his shoulders as his hands find your waist, too drunk out of his mind to even make sense of the situation. you flick your gaze towards heeseung a few heads away from you, the music drifting loudly into the pits of your eardrums.

nothing else matters in the moment except heeseung, your eyes warning him, communicating with him. his eyes do the same, as his own kiss with suyun grows deeper and messier, his eyebrows furrowing in your direction. he’s got to be drunk, you think to yourself, as you stick your tongue in ryung’s mouth. what is heeseung doing? your mind was racing with questions that you didn’t have time to acknowledge, all you had to do was just keep kissing ryung and keep your gaze on heeseung’s, who’s eyes never falter from yours.

who’s it gonna be? your eyes seem to say, as you can feel the lump growing in the back of your throat. look away from me, do it. your eyes look at him with plead, with hurt, your mouth growing tired against ryung’s. is he doing this out of spite? your temples were pulsing and ryung was beginning to pull away, when heeseung parts from suyun first.

the boy disappears from suyun before you could even notice, your eyes beginning to blink tears from your eyelashes. ryung can feel it against his cheeks, and he slowly pulls away from you. “am i that bad of a kisser?” he slurs, his hair sticking up in places and his cheeks rosy.

“no.” you grumble, reaching forward to fix his crooked glasses. your neck starts to grow red with guilt, suddenly feeling ashamed for pulling ryung into it. “ryung.. i’m sorry i—”

“it’s okay, y/n.” ryung smirks softly, eyes flickering between yours. suddenly he’s being pulled away by jay’s eager hand, and he throws his head over at you before allowing himself to be dragged away. “i kinda liked it!”

you roll your eyes at ryung’s obvious drunken behavior, now suddenly being shoved around by more surrounding students. tears were threatening to spill from behind your waterline, and your head was beginning to throb with a raging headache. you were feeling hurt and betrayed even if it wasn’t your place to be, you just couldn’t help it. this boy knew what he was doing with your emotions like he always did, and that split your heart right down the middle.

your vision became blurry and your throat was beginning to burn, your gaze pointed down towards the overcrowded floor as you start weaving your way through the tightly packed gymnasium, shoving people’s shoulders and bumping their hips. you suddenly squeak to an unexpected halt when a warm pair of arms begin wrapping themselves around your waist from behind. heat immediately blooms across your already flushed face, the gears in your brain pausing their rotations. you feel a sharp chin being placed on the curve of your shoulder. “well, aren’t you just a pretty little snake?”

heeseung. your jaw clenches with bubbling anger, the tears becoming warm behind your eyelashes. “what is that supposed to mean?” your voice is wavered and quieter than you wanted it to be, but you couldn’t help it and you didn’t care. your blood was boiling and your mind was spinning.

“thought you said ryung wasn’t your boyfriend.” he whispers confidently into your ear, his breath reeking of mint and the slightest hint of alcohol.

“i thought suyun wasn’t your girlfriend.” you declare hesitantly, lacing your arms frustratingly over your chest. the heat from his embrace was making your skin prickle, the dreamy music from the speakers now a distant blur in the depths of your ear canal.

“she’s not.” heeseung quickly retorts, fingernails picking at the golden studs in your belt.

“then why were you kissing her?” your temples begin pulsing even more, sweat now trickling down the side of your cheek. you were annoyed. you just wanted to go home. silence begins embracing the both of you, the loud chatter and noises from the surrounding students filling in the white noise.

you hear heeseung inhale slowly, his arms further encircling your figure, trying to become closer to you. his chest was pushed up against your back and his face was right beside your neck, his body practically meshed with yours. “she started kissing me first, and i was going to pull away, but i saw you walk in. i was trying to make you jealous.”

this only made anger rattle up against your system even more, your jaw clenching in utter irritation. your mind was swimming with confusion, your brain about to explode inside your skull. your lips part hesitantly, your tongue laying dry inside your mouth. “what…?”

heeseung’s breath grows closer into your neck, his nose brushing up your jawline. goosebumps began to erupt all across your body, his breath warm in your ear. “i’ll tell you my secret….” he whispers, his embrace growing impossibly tighter. “if you tell me yours.”

you swallow the large lump settled warm inside your throat, your heart rate beating loudly inside your eardrums. you nibble at your lip and contemplate your next move, your mind going over everything that had just happened in the span of thirty minutes. you knew deep down exactly what heeseung’s secret was, you knew it was obvious. this was your chance, your one time opportunity to tell this boy how you feel about him, despite all the pent up anger you’ve been storing inside yourself. so with a shaky breath, and a hesitant tongue, you slowly turn around in heeseung’s grasp.

his hands stay warm on your waist as you settle your palms against the damp skin of his neck, the paint stripes on his cheeks nothing but faint smudges. your eyes examine his disheveled, crimped hair and smokey, black eyeshadow, his silver hoop earrings and his collared, unbuttoned blue t-shirt. a silver chain rested comfortably against his collarbones and the hem of his shirt hid behind his usual studded belt and black skinny jeans. your eyes nervously gaze up into his own, where a worried, flushed expression takes over his admiring features. “i like you.” you whisper to him, the words foreign on your tongue. your thumb brushes up against his prominent jawline. “now tell me your secret.”

you watch his neck as he swallows slowly, his eyes flickering among your features. the edge of his lip suddenly curves up subtly, his eyes panning down to gaze at your glossed lips. “i’ve known about your little game this whole time.”

as if your heart wasn’t already jolting out of your ribcage, you feel as if you could puke up the pulsing muscle any second now. your face immediately drains of color and you furrow your eyebrows hesitantly. “you.. did? what… how? how did you know?”

“let’s just say,” heeseung softly chuckles, cocking his head at you. he scrunches his nose for effect in his next words. “suyun overheard jay talking about it last week. and suyun tells me everything.”

“so,” you begin, your palms beginning to grow warm against his neck. for some reason, the lump in your throat was developing quickly again. god, jay, you little shit. “you knew this whole time, but you still led me on? you still played around with me? is that what’s happening?”

“y/n.” heeseung begins softly with raised eyebrows, pulling you closer into his chest. he leans his head down towards your ear, where he noses down your jawline. “i’ve got more than one secret.”

you can feel him smirk up against your cheek. you blink, your cheeks growing flushed as everyone around you becomes an afterthought. you could predict his next words, but oh, how you wanted to hear him say it. “can you tell me…?”

“are you sure you don’t have one more?” heeseung whispers, his lips stretching into a lazy smile as he nibbles the flesh of your cheek, his slender hands traveling along the curves of your waistband. “i think you’ve got another.. dirty lil’ secret in the back of your mind. i’d like you to share it with me first, y/n.”

your cheeks flush with heat at his low-set whisper tingling into your ear, the alcohol in his breath intoxicating your own system. you swallow thickly in your throat and slide your palms down over his bare, toned shoulders, blocking out the way hwang yells something stupid over the speakers to the dancing crowd. the feeling of heeseung’s warm, heated touches and sinful whispers sure does make heat swarm to the pit of your belly, arousal soon clouding up inside your brain. it’s like he could read your mind. “i want you to..” you whisper hesitantly, swallowing nervously in your throat. your heart was beating erratically against your chest, and you could tell heeseung had noticed your nerves.

you hear a light hum breathe out through his lips and against your cheek, pulling his head back slightly to rest his chin back onto your shoulder. he then clasps his hands together against the small of your back, pulling you closer into his chest. “go ahead, y/n…” he whispers, beginning to sway softly to the overhead music. you take a deep breath and wrap your arms further around his warm neck, your cheek resting comfortably on his shoulder as the comfort of his embrace begins easing your nerves. “you can tell me, i promise i won’t judge you.” he whispers again. “tell me what you want me to do.”

you swallow the lump developing in your throat as you flutter your eyelids closed, focusing on the faint rhythm of you and heeseung’s swaying hips. you can hear his quick heartbeat against your chest, his breathing soft by your head. “i want you…” you lick your lips briefly, “to touch me.”

heeseung hums coyly. “i’m already touching you, y/n.” he whispers, and you can practically hear the amusing smirk etched across his lips. you roll your eyes, even though he can’t see you.

“you… you know what i mean, heeseung.”

“it might just be the spiked punch, but, i can’t figure it out for the life of me. please do explain, y/n.”

you groan shyly into the curve of his neck, heat blooming against your skin. you feel heeseung’s chest vibrate subtly with his soft chuckle, your lips parting hesitantly. “stop… i’m not explaining. tell me your other secret.”

heeseung breathes in a shaky breath, before letting it softly travel out through his nose. “i want you to wear me,” he whispers lowly into your neck. “like your pretty perfume.” your skin bursts out with an array of goosebumps, your letterman jacket now sticking to you with sweat.

your mind moves a mile a minute. “what.. what do you mean?”

you hear him chuckle softly at your question, before he parts his lips. he moves his head closer towards your neck, where he slowly and carefully, bites down softly into the skin of it, where he slowly begins sucking a hickey right into the flesh.

you gasp lightly at the sensation, warmth beginning to fill the pit of your belly. you let your hands roam around the nape of his neck and reach your fingertips into his damp curls, thankful for the business around you. a new, upbeat song had begun playing from the overhead speakers, bringing in more swarms of hyperactive students.

your body had been flushed with permanent heat at the suction of his lips on your skin, his bite soft but hurtful. it felt good, a little too good, and that feeling soon spread throughout your whole lower body. he slowly lifts his head back up once he’s sucked a good, evident purple bruise into the line of your neck, his lips shiny and parted. “heeseung,” you begin, eyes flickering among his prideful half smile. “heeseung, please…. i- i want… more.”

he lets a quick giggle slip past his lips, his hands finding the indentions of your hips to settle them there. his fingers had slipped under your letterman jacket, where the coldness of his rings stung your bare skin. “i dunno.” he shrugs, eyes focusing in on your desperate lips. you notice the red blush to his tan cheeks. “maybe if you beg for it some more.” he teases, “i like the way you say please.”

before you can even reply to his suggestive statement, he’s suddenly being pulled away from you. you catch suyun in the act, her face distorted in anger and her grip firm on his arm. “we’re going to the car.” she huffs, heeseung keeping his eyes trained on you.

“wait!” you plead, but you can only watch as heeseung gets pulled through the crowd. you bite your lip and begin trudging through the students towards them, where you hear their hushed banter.

“… i can’t believe you’re cheating on me!”

“… suyun, we’re not even dating, for christ’s sake!”

“… that doesn’t even matter!”

your emotions get the best of you as you begin weaving your way through the crowd, your head pulsing. night begins settling down around your small university, tiredness beginning to spread its way throughout your skeleton. you don’t let that stop you as you watch suyun and heeseung disappear down the hall, your chest beginning to heave with heavy breaths as you skid to a stop right at the gymnasium entrance. you bend over slightly to rest your hands onto your knees, dreadfully watching as suyun takes heeseung around the corner.

shit. you begin to nibble on your bottom lip in frustration, wondering just what the hell suyun could want with him. as you decide to wait for his arrival, rather shamefully you might add, you walk over towards the wall beside the gym entrance, letting your back lean against it. you fold your arms over your chest as your mind begins racing down the track of your own thoughts, conjuring up scenes of suyun’s displeasure. she’s probably telling him off, you think to yourself, hands reaching up towards your ponytail to readjust your slipping, gold ribbon. he did makeout with her to woo me over. you let a small, patient sigh escape your lips, counting the minutes you stand here by your lonesome.

your mood then wilts when time passes a little too slowly, now doubting the boy might never come back to you and fulfill your pathetic, eyeliner-frenzied fantasies. once you decide suyun’s probably just killed him and threw his body in a ditch somwhere, you slowly lift your back from the wall and turn on your heel, ready to walk sorrowfully back into the gym. i guess i could join ryung and get drunk off spiked punch, drowning my sorrow in fruity alcohol. speaking of, i wonder what he’s been—

your head then snaps back behind you once you hear soft clicks of footsteps heading down the slick, tiled hallway, your eyes softening at the sight. heeseung heads back down the length of the hall rather cooly, for someone who just got screamed at, a fist in his jeans pocket and a cigarette perched between his lips. his eyes fixate on you, peering over at you under his dark, smokey eyelids. he keeps his gaze locked as he slowly lifts a hand to the end of his cigarette, taking a huff before smoke bellows out of his nostrils. his hair had been pushed back from his forehead, his layered, brown locks laying perfectly disheveled atop of his head, really pulling off the wind-swept look, you think. his cheeks stay flushed and his exposed collarbones glint with sweat under the lighting, your heart rate increasing as he approaches you.

“waiting around for me?” he quirks as his pace slows the closer he walks towards you, your own feet beginning to move towards the boy. you watch his eyes rake down your figure briefly before smoke wisps out behind his askew smirk. “how sweet of you.”

“what did suyun want?” you ask him softly, stuffing your own hands into the comfort of your shorts pockets. his eyes stay on you as he’s silent for a quick second, pulling the cigarette away from his lips to flick at the end of it.

“she just yelled at me for liking you. apparently, i led her on. even though,” he raises his eyebrows, “i actually have told her i’m only interested in her as a friend. plenty of times. she just doesn’t like to listen to stuff she doesn’t wanna hear.”

you smile amusingly at his story, your own eyebrow quirking up. “so… where is she now?”

“she left.” heeseung replies softly, rolling his eyes teasingly. he then takes another huff of his cigarette, slipping his bottom lip between his teeth before throwing his head back to gaze down the hall, his eyes examining his surroundings. “so… what do you want to do now?”

your cheeks flush at his taunting question, your gaze averting down towards his black shoes as you shrug your shoulders, a shy curve growing at the edge of your lip. “how’s uh,” you lift your head up to look at him. “how’s your hickey looking under this light?”

heeseung’s eyes dart smoothly down towards your neck, where you watch the muscle of his jaw softly clench. he then inhales deeply through his nose, before exhaling dramatically through an approaching, teasing smirk. “looks too fucking perfect on you. no surprise, anyway. only makes me want to give you more. god, so badly, you don’t understand. i’ve been keeping it in for too long, y/n.” he tsks with his tongue before slowly shaking his head at you. “too fucking long. you’re intoxicating.”

your body swims with burning heat. “are you sure that just isn’t my heavy vanilla scent?” you begin teasingly, trying to hide the utter anxiousness and arousal in your subtly coy tone. you slowly walk up towards him, placing your hands firmly onto his shoulders as you watch his half lidded eyes gaze down at your features.

“that scent smells good too, but, i assure you, it’s not.” he mumbles, reaching his free hand up to run his fingers softly through the lines of your hair. “how about i take you somewhere else?” he then whispers, his adam’s apple bobbing slowly in his throat. “let me give you what you’re wanting from me.”

your heart begins pelting loudly against the confinements of your ribcage, the pit of your belly swelling with pooling arousal. your eye then catches a lonesome door just down the end of the hall, where a gold plaque that reads supply closet is bolted onto the door. god, you’re so impatient. “..please?”

before you know it, you’re being softly placed onto a small, plastic table located in the crammed, stuffy room of the locked supply closet. the two of you don’t even care, for your lips are moving too fervently against each other’s to even recognize what little room you have.

the dim room was only being lit up by a single, flickering lightbulb hanging from a chain into the ceiling, heeseung’s head brushing it as he slid quickly through the door. you had peeled ryung’s letterman jacket and threw it to the dusty floor somewhere, your hands tangled up in heeseung’s sweaty hair as his own palms were secured lowly onto your hips. he leans in desperately to deepen your messy kiss, his eyebrows furrowed as he slips his tongue into your mouth, resulting in a soft whine from the bottom of your throat.

heeseung was breathing heavily through his nose, his body flushed with heat. his hands then slide down to the curves of your sitting thighs, where he then slides his hands on top of them. he presses his ringed thumbs into the soft meat of your thighs, slowly spreading them farther across the table. his teeth drag your bottom lip harshly as it recoils with his release, his glossy eyes fixated on the slickness of your lips. “i want to eat you out.” he mumbles confidently, causing a pang to bolt at your core. he then sticks his thumbs up under the hem of your shorts, goosebumps erupting against your skin. he then lets a lazy curve tick up his lips. “it’s already wet under here. just makes me desperately want to tongue-fuck you.”

you let out an uncontrollable whimper at his words, your fingers clinging tightly around the sweaty locks of hair curling around his nape. “go ahead, please. do it, i want it.” you let out breathlessly, your eyebrows furrowing with want. he only smiles in reply to your pleads, pressing his lips down into the soft skin of your neck, where you tilt your head to the side to give him more room. he immediately begins sucking a harsh hickey into your skin, his fingers smoothly and slowly unbuttoning the top of your shorts. you adjust your legs to let him slide them right off of you, gasps of breath slipping from your lips as he sucks painfully slow into your neck.

he then drags your underwear and fishnets down your legs together, his lips moving down the line of your throat. he quickly discards them towards the floor, his hands then pressing onto the table for his own leverage. your exposed skin is cold against the plastic of the table, goosebumps prickling at your legs. his lips quickly work there way down to your chest, where you immediately pull down the strap of your camisole to give his lips room. he sucks a soft hickey into the side skin of your breast, your mind swirling at the feeling. you lace your hand through the curls on the top of his head, a whine leaving his lips when you tug on them slightly.

he works his lips down the length of your body, cocking his head to the side to suck another hickey into the dip of your bare waist. the feeling of warm saliva and the harsh bite of his teeth only increases the heaviness of your breathing, whines climbing up your throat. he’s leaning over your thighs now, his hands now gripping the sides of them softly. he sucks another hickey into the side of your thigh, where you feel him hum against the plushness of your skin. his rings are cold against your thighs, his fingernails digging softly into them. “you’re like a sweet, little treat.” he rasps into your thigh, peppering it in wet, quick kisses. “like my own, little dessert, wanna devour you whole and lick you clean.”

your body melts at his breathless words, goosebumps erupting across your whole body when his warm lips edge closer towards your pussy, his fingers then spreading your thighs out even more. he peers up you darkly under his eyelashes as he pauses his head right at your wet cunt, your mind swimming at his lustful gaze. he lets a half smirk crawl up his lip as he keeps his eyes up at you, slowly letting his tongue fall out between his parted lips and licks a slow, detrimental stripe up the sensitive line of your pussy.

you let out a breathy gasp at the sensation, your thighs suddenly tensing beside his head. your fingers grip the edges of the plastic table, the back of your head falling against the wall. “oh, fuck.” you whine, sweat beading along your brow. his tongue stays out as your juices gleam atop of his tongue, a short chuckle slipping past his mouth. he then slides his tongue between his lips, glossing up their pink skin.

“you’re so pathetically wet.” he mumbles, as he leans his mouth back into your pussy, his tongue giving the line of it another quick lick. “just from a lick. too fucking cute.” he whispers, as he presses his warm, wet mouth into your cunt. whines escape your lips at the wet feeling, his tongue circling around the tense warmth of your clit. you can’t help but reach out for his hair at the pleasure, tightly wrapping your fingers around his curls.

he begins almost whining against you, his feverish tongue lapping deeper up inside you. he then cups his mouth against your cunt, his tongue curled inside you, and begins sucking lightly, his fingernails digging deliciously into the soft, red skin of your thighs. your mind goes fuzzy at the feeling, soft, airy moans spilling from your lips. his deep, desperate hums vibrate against your core and send shoots of pleasure down your spine, your fingers pulling on his hair and your thighs tensing tightly against his head. “heeseung…”

a sharp whimper warms your pussy as you tug on his hair, the ends of his cold hoops dragging up against the exposed flesh of your thighs. with his hair in your fist, he lifts his head up away from your cunt, his eyes flashing deeply and desperately up at you.

you peer down at the boy, his lips slick with your wetness. it’s dripping down his chin and smearing around his cheeks, his eyebrows furrowed tightly. “so fucking filthy,” he whines, eyelashes batting up at you. “never needed my mouth on someone’s disgustingly wet, mind-fucking pussy more in my life. i want to obliterate you until you’re fucked-dumb with my tongue.”

just heeseung’s sinful words alone were enough to cause another rush of arousal out of yourself, heeseung’s wet lips peppering kisses quickly into the side of your thigh. “you still with me, baby?”

“yes.” you choke out, heeseung nodding swiftly up at you before pressing his mouth back into your soaked cunt. he whines more at the slick amount of heat he laps up with his tongue, circling it around your clit and sucking on you softly. your brain fogs up and your thigh muscles are sore with how much they clench around the boy’s head, his hands having to push them down harshly onto the table.

he prods his tongue in and out against your clit, his, fast heaving breath humming against you. you can’t take it anymore, lines of whimpers slipping past your parted lips and your desperate fingers clawing at his hair, your arrival growing with each passing second. heeseung can feel it too, licking, deep, dirty stripes up the inside of your cunt, his face slick with your arousal. “come on baby, please,” he whimpers into you, dragging his fingernails softly up and down the length of your thighs. “cum on my face,” he whines, “please? will you make a pretty little mess for me?”

his words were only an icebreaker as your high suddenly takes over you, your lips parting with an uncontrollable whine. your fingers had gripped hard into his hair as you cum all over his mouth, his fingernails gripping hard into your thighs. “fuck,” he groans, once you’ve finally released all that you could onto his flushed face. you let your shoulders slouch back against the wall, your eyelids fluttering shut as your tired body falls slack. your lips are parted with heavy, deep breaths, your face slick with sweat and your thighs trembling with ache.

“ah, shit, y/n.” you hear heeseung rasp, as he slowly climbs up from your cunt and leans over you, his hands now balancing himself against the table. you peer up at him, his cheeks shining with cum and his hair matted to his face. his lips provocatively gleam and you watch as your arousal drips down the defined curve of his chin. he then smiles widely down at you, a prideful blush blooming in his sticky, wet cheeks. “i didn’t know someone could cum so fucking much.” he says through a breathless chuckle, leaning in towards your lips to press his wet mouth against your own. “made such a fucking mess. got so wet for me, made my head spin.”

you smile shyly at his statement as he presses multiple, messy kisses into your dripping mouth, his hands going to situate in the curves of your hips. “i want to go again.” you whisper teasingly against his lips, your hands crawling up his jaw to cup his sweaty cheeks in your palms.

“you’re a nasty girl.” heeseung softly chuckles through a smirk, peering at you with raised eyebrows. “your little number 12 friend is probably worried sick right now.”

“i think that punch will keep him occupied.” you reply through an amusing smile, as heeseung leans in to pepper your jaw in quick kisses, his hands pulling your hips closer towards him. “wow, heeseung,” you mumble teasingly, “all that, and you haven’t even asked me out yet.”

you feel the boy giggle lowly against your ear, teeth nipping at the curve of your jawline. “i have to think about it.” he whispers into your ear, teeth now prodding at the skin of your earlobe. you let a small giggle airily slip through your lips. “i’ve got the rest of the year, don’t i?”

a/n: I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED THIS FIC HHH :(( please let me know with an interaction of some sort, i absolutely appreciate all types of feedback <333 HEVEHEF IVE BEEN THINKING OF MAYBE DOING A PART TWO BUT IM NOT SURE IF I WANT TO MAKE ANOTHER HEESEUNG SERIES AGAIN..?.?.?.? IS THAT LAME??! idk guys decisions decisions. lemme know if you’d like another part so i can get a good idea of if i wanna do it or not 🤔 maybe i’d make a taglist 🤔 idk yet..! BUT ILL LET YOU KNOW!! hehe <333

my cool kid homie squad: @5xiang @svnoofy @qolaroidlove @vampbrr

( p.s. join my cool kid homie squad (perm taglist) or your moms a loser… and you won’t be considered one of heecrush’s cool kid homies… wow… would never wish that on anyone. sniff.. 😪😪 )

ONE HUNDRED AND ONE

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ returning back home from a failed year at college, you’re reunited with your little brothers best friend who always had a crush on you. this definitely hasn’t changed, but he sure has.

WARNINGS ➩ smut (rough at times), reader is jungwon’s older sister and there is a small age gap. enha have been aged down for the sake of being in similar grades (maknae line are all 17, 02z are all 18, heeseung is 20 and reader is 22)

WC ➩ 19k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ not proofread of course lol and written at 5 am.. you know the drill by now. normally writing smut ruins the story for me but i think its fitting and a good choice here! let me know your thoughts NO PART 2 but feel free to ask any questions u found unanswered

When you found out you were going to be a big sister, you thought your entire world was going to end.

You’d spent the earliest years of your life listening to your friends complain about their younger siblings, cry when they had to share toys or their parents attention. So when your mother sat you down and explained that there was a baby in her belly, you were more than prepared to stand your ground and let the new enemies arrival know who was number one around here.

Five years old, you were stood in the hospitals waiting room with a pout on your face and your arms crossed in irritation, spending the morning listening to relatives gush about the babies arrival and waiting to see your mother after labor.

The anger stayed in your expression the entire walk down the hospital wings hallway, remaining strong as you crossed into your mothers room and not even faltering when she gave you a soft tired smile. You approached the bed, prepared to see the creature that was going to cause you a lifetime of pain and suffering.

And then he started to cry.

The thing about your friends younger siblings is; they simply were not Yang Jungwon. After the baby had come home and you continued to watch him grow and learn how to communicate, you waited for that angry and betrayed feeling to return like your peers had sworn it would, but it never arrived.

Jungwon was the absolute perfect little brother and you quickly adored him, following him around as he waddled throughout the house and giving him your toys to chew on whenever his little round head piqued up in interest. He rarely fussed, eating heavy portions and never quite growing into his big large eyes that would peer up at you everyday when you got home from school.

The same eyes that stared at you now, although now he was having to glance downwards considering his growth spurt during high school.

You’d barely walked through the door, bags and suitcase being dragged behind your back through the entryway, when you were being slammed full force into a tight hug by your little brother. He was 17 now, not quite little anymore but you quickly squealed and wrapped your arms around his neck when he lifted you up off the ground for a second.

“Baby brother.” You were exclaiming happily and he set you down, pulling back with a wide grin and sparkling eyes that kept widening in excitement.

You moving away for college has been hard on Jungwon, practically being best friends your entire lives despite the age difference causing some petty conflicts occasionally. You’d worried about him at first, never really being social outside of following you around when you went out with your friends but after he entered middle school he had found an entire group of kids his age and you felt less burdened when you had to leave.

It still didn’t make it any easier and the first few months you called every night, letting your little brother ramble about girls he had crushes on and things his friends got detention for.

Jungwon had been so proud of you for getting into a good college but you quickly became burnt out, slowly putting a stop to your nightly calls and rarely making the drive home for holidays anymore. You spent most of your days curled up on your dorm rooms couch, watching movie reruns from a decade ago and zoning out staring at your hefty workload.

Your parents had managed to convince you to come home for some time and decide what you wanted to do after your head got a bit more clear, even driving all the way up to your school to help you pack up your life into three measly boxes and bring you home for the next few months.

You felt ashamed and embarrassed about coming home at first, staying silent through the packing process and hurriedly walking out of the campus building to avoid any classmates stopping you and questioning why you were carrying so many bags. The excitement in your brothers face gave you the first sense of hope since you’d left, feeling a bit more okay about having to return home.

“Was the drive okay?” His voice was snapping you out of your train of thought and you smiled at him, messing up his hair and giving him a small nod before letting him take one of the bags off your shoulder. “You must be exhausted, mom and dad were right about waiting for the weekend to have the party.”

The two of you were leaving the entry way and making your way towards the kitchen area when the words slipped out of him, immediately freezing in your spot and seeing him wince from where he was standing. You cocked an eyebrow and your parents walked in just in time to catch sight of your expression and immediately sigh.

“You spoiled it, didn’t you?” Your dad was shaking his head at your little brother and moving past your frozen frame to deposit one of your boxes on the living room floor, glancing at your mom to help diffuse the situation.

“Listen honey, we were going to tell you we just… weren’t sure how you’d take it.” She was speaking in her typical soft tone, raising her hands in worry and giving you a guilty look.

“Mom a party is a terrible idea.” You were groaning softly and letting your bag slump to the floor, a childish whine slipping into your voice now that you were back at home and speaking comfortably to your family. “It’s not like I graduated or something, I basically dropped out. We can’t have a ‘congratulations you failed’ party, it’s humiliating.”

“You didn’t fail Y/N.” Jungwon was quickly cutting off your self depreciating rambles and you glanced over at him with another sigh. “It’s a welcome home party. We are welcoming you home!”

He sounded optimistic about it and you couldn’t help but crack a small smile at his tone and obvious excitement, the same excitement that led to him spoiling it in the first place.

It was such a typical Jungwon thing to be so optimistic about a party that wasn’t even for him, always the bright light to your more hesitant and cynical personality. He kept you having fun and being youthful when being a teenager was hard but he was still far more emotionally mature than most adults you knew, knowing when to ground himself and be realistic.

“Besides, all my friends will be there.” He was continuing on and you shot your mom an annoyed glanced to which she attempted to give you a stern look in return.

Whilst Jungwon was the best sibling ever, his friends were still very much typical teenage boys. You remember the first time he brought the group home in middle school, expecting to see a few meek kids who suited your brothers more timid personality and would address your parents with table manners and polite greetings.

Much to your surprise, apparently your little brother had managed to befriend the nosiest middle schoolers you’d ever encountered. You quickly remembered how much your friends had disliked their younger brothers and you imagined you’d have a similar belief if they were anything like the boys Jungwon quickly became near family with.

Sunoo and Riki were in the same grade as Jungwon, freshly entering middle school but they bickered and argued like adult men. Multiple times throughout the years, you had to physically step in between them and remove one from a situation before things got too messy. Outside of their tendency to clash, they were practically attached at the hip and quickly adopted your sibling to join their close duo.

The other boys were much more tolerable despite their own sets of various issues.

Jay, a year above your brother but decades older, weirdly reminded you of your grandfather at times. You’d hear him scolding the boys from the other room about watching where they fling controllers and on multiple occasions he had scolded you about having healthier lifestyle and diet choices.

Jake was practically his opposite in every way, a vacuum to junk food and a magnet to all things chaos. The boy had a tendency to lose his footing and his clumsiness really became a staple in his personality after he tumbled his elbow through the third piece of drywall in your house.

Park Sunghoon could barely speak a word to you for the first few years he came around, going as far as to verbally squeak and disappear around corners back to your brothers room whenever you came out to get a glass of water or ask them if they wanted you to order a pizza. He eventually started to warm up to you, managing to hold small talk by the time you left for school, but not nearly as quick as the oldest member of the group did.

Lee Heeseung had practically got down on one knee and proposed to you the moment he met you. Quite literally, considering you’d opened the door to greet them all for the first time and the boy had immediately pretended to faint into his friends arms, landing on an annoyed Jay who swatted him away and told him to greet you properly.

Being the oldest, Heeseung was three years older than your little brother which by default meant he was two years your junior, which was a fact he reminded you of almost every single time he saw you.

Whilst the other boys seemed to take you on as a sisterly figure, asking you for help with homework and requesting rides home from sport practices or late running hangout sessions, Heeseung had made it very clear that he saw you in a very different way. He was a flirt, albeit extremely harmless and mostly using terrible pickup lines he had stumbled upon online.

You found him funnier than you’d like to admit, absolutely never telling him this or even sparing him a chuckle during his hundreds of passes at you.

You weren’t too worried about actually hurting his feelings, assuming he was just infatuated with you because you were an older girl who was around all the time and that was practically a goldmine to a boy entering high school. So you continued on with your eye rolls and pushing him away whenever he purposely sat too close to you in the car on family road trips.

It wasn’t until your graduation that you considered the possibility you had been wrong about how fleeting his comments towards you really were. He’d never given up on the flirting but you figured it was just a habit by now, a running joke considering they’d eventually died down and became more tame the older you both got.

Then you were walking off that stage with a bright proud smile, your future pretty much guaranteed at a college that was driving distance and you pulled your brother and parents into a big hug before stepping back and catching sight of the boy standing behind a bouquet of big flowers.

Heeseung had nervously handed them over to you and the shake of his hands made your eyebrows furrow, so used to his extremely relaxed and comedic personality. You’d never really seen him nervous outside of a few moments during school where he’d failed an important test or had a particularly bad argument with his parents. You gave him a small smile and inspected the flowers.

“Are these baby’s breath?” You were glancing up at him and your eyes widened slightly in excitement at the smell of your favorite flowers. “These are beautiful Hee, did Jungwon tell you they were my favorite?”

“No… I just remembered.” He was smiling softly back at you and he looked relieved that you liked them, scratching his neck softly and watching as you smelled the high quality bouquet a few more times before smiling up at him again. “Actually I wanted to give you them because they-“

He was cut off by the sound of somebody calling your name a few times and you both glanced over, seeing a few of your classmates waving you over and positioning themselves in front of a camera. You laughed softly and amidst your excitement from the busy day, you completely missed the way his face fell as your attention quickly diverted away from him and what he was trying to tell you.

“They’re amazing Heeseung, I’ll make sure to put them in water as soon as I get home. Thank you again.” You were giving him another smile that made his cheeks flush, hand raising in a small wave before you were turning and disappearing into the crowd.

He watched as you posed in the photo with his flowers in your hand, your friends wrapping their arms around you and steadying their caps as you all prepared to start your adult lives in different schools and parts of the world.

You didn’t see the boy again after that for a while, spending the summer before college started with your friends and making some last minute memories before you were all apart for a while. Then you had your going away party and you, once again, were too focused on other things and you don’t recall ever even seeing him there despite the fact he always came to your family events and was certainly somewhere in the house.

It’d been three years now since you’d seen the seven boys all together and despite the constant messes and loud nights they’d caused you back in high school, you couldn’t help but feel a little bit excited to see them all again.

You definitely didn’t consider them your friends but you were fond of them and they made your little brother happy, listening to him ramble about their recent adventures all night while he helped you unpack your boxes and bags back into your childhood bedroom.

“We don’t have to do the party if you don’t want to.” He was telling you after you’d finished, standing in your doorway with his pajamas on and a toothbrush between his teeth. “It was sort of my idea but I don’t want to make you feel weird about being home.”

You felt guilty at the expression on his face, trying to remain steady and pretend he didn’t care but you could tell that he had been excited about the idea of people gathering to celebrate your return and knowing him, he most likely already had most of the details planned out in advance. As much as you weren’t necessarily looking forward to it, assuming it would contain a lot of awkward small talk and you explaining that you hadn’t graduated early and that’s not why you were home, you figured it wouldn’t hurt enough to cancel the whole thing.

“I think it could be fun.” You were shrugging from under your covers and if he could tell you were lying he didn’t show it as his face split into a grin around the plastic in his mouth.

Your little brother bid you goodnight in a soft voice, closing your door gently and leaving you to lay in your bed that slowly became unfamiliar to you. You stared at the posters on the walls, bands you no longer listened to and movies you’d forgotten the plot of. Everything was exactly the same and you were the only part of your life that had changed significantly, leaving you feeling out of place and isolated.

You sighed softly and rolled onto your side so you didn’t have to look at your bedroom that was frozen in time, letting yourself drift off to sleep and trying not to think about the fact you were back to square one.

——

It only took about half a day later for you to realize that you’d been wrong about being the only thing to change, incredibly wrong in fact considering how dumbfounded you currently were standing in front of your open front door and staring at the people in front of you.

When there had been sharp pounding on the wood, you hadn’t hesitated to swing it open despite the fact you technically didn’t live there anymore and it most likely wasn’t going to be somebody you knew. Still, it was a habit to not let guest stand outside on the porch unanswered and you felt complete deja vu when you swung open the door to see six people crammed together outside.

They were all hanging over each other to try and get a look at you first, excited grins on their faces and you were completely thrown off for a moment because how matured they all looked.

“So you are back.” Sunghoon was excitedly announcing, no sign of hesitance or his usual awkwardness when it came to addressing you. He’d always been handsome but he settled nicely into his features now that he was an adult and his shoulders were a lot broader now, perfect for supporting Sunoo who was grinning at you from over them.

“Jungwon texted us last night but we didn’t believe him.” Your head turned to match the voice and you smiled softly when you saw it was Jay, standing still in place and looking every bit as serious as he normally was.

“Why would he lie about that?” Jake was pushing past the others to enter the house first and he nearly tripped over the welcome mat, falling closer to you and barely steadying himself before he was pulling you in for a tight hug.

“Nice to see you too Jake.” You mumbled into his shoulder, wincing slightly at the force of his embrace. He pulled away with a dog like grin before moving aside so the others could file in.

You hugged them all individually as they passed through, feeling like you were seventeen again and they were coming over for a sleepover. Except now they were almost all adults and even Riki was towering over you now, the tallest of the group despite the fact he was barely coming up to your shoulder when you had left.

You paused after the fifth boy had passed through, faltering completely as you looked at the final member of the usual group and your eyes widened a touch.

“What, no hug for me?” Heeseung’s voice was ringing clearly in your ears but you still hadn’t processed that it was him standing in front of you.

Last time you saw the boy he almost resembled a scared hamster of sorts, always looking around with big wide eyes and not fully grown into his ears and long limbs. Part of the reason you’d never taken his advances seriously was because you couldn’t see him as a man most the time, full of boyish charm and a messy grin.

A grin similar to the one he was giving you now albeit this one was a lot more matured and carrying a heavy aura of confidence. A confidence he was definitely deserving of having considering he has clearly been working on both his physical health and his sense of style. You’d never once found yourself nervous around the younger boy but you were toeing the line of intimidated as you looked up at him now.

You pulled him in for a quick hug, hoping it wasn’t noticeably faster than the others before you were pulling away but keeping your hands on his upper arms.

“Woah… you’re..” You trailed off and your eyes widened slightly, squeezing his biceps in wonder and ignoring the way he let out a small laugh at your amusement. He was still looking at you with that almost cocky grin and you avoiding meeting his gaze for now.

“Yeah, hyungs been working out a lot to impress his girlfriend.” Riki’s voice was sounding from behind you, taking note of your fascination and you quickly dropped your hands from the boy to avoid any chance of misinterpretation.

You cleared your throat and took a step away from him, glancing up at him and realizing he had lost the casual grin and was glaring daggers at the youngest boy who was still stood behind you. You waited for him to move out of the doorway so you could shut it behind them, watching as they bounded up the stairs to go and get your brother.

You smiled softly at the nostalgia of it all and walked over to the kitchen, still having a few hours before the party actually started and being strictly instructed that you weren’t allowed to help with the set up portion of the night. Having nothing to do was driving you crazy however so you started to slowly chop up the vegetables that would be laid out on the snack table, humming to yourself softly.

“Need any help?” You were jumping in place and accidentally knocking over the pile of broccoli at the sudden sound of somebody speaking right next to your ear. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I thought you heard me coming.”

Heeseung was quickly bending over to pick up the soiled vegetables and you watched him, slightly flustered from the jumpscare and the fact he was glancing up at you from down at your feet to see if you were okay.

“It’s alright.” You quickly assured him, realizing he was waiting for you to say something and he watched you for a second before he was nodding and standing up to throw away the food into your trash can.

You were moving some carrots over to the cutting board instead, feeling strangely unsteady as he walked to the other side of the kitchens island and pulled a stool out to sit and watch you. You could feel him staring at your face as you chopped, occasionally glancing down at your uncoordinated hands and you cleared your throat uncomfortably.

“So.. is your girlfriend coming tonight?” You were asking, not sure why you had said it and quickly regretting it when you looked up at him and his face dropped.

“I don’t have a girlfriend. Riki doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” He was sighing and shaking his head, stretching forward slightly to grab a cut up piece of carrot off the board and throw it into his mouth before you could scold him.

“Not a girlfriend then, just your friend that’s a girl that you work out to impress.” Your tone was teasing as you said it but you kept glancing up at him to check his reaction, knowing that before he wouldn’t have minded the comment but things were different now. He just nodded in confirmation and watched you for a few seconds. “Why not your girlfriend?”

You imagined if this had been a few years ago he would’ve taken this opportunity to flirt with you, made some cheesy comment about you being the only girl for him and go on about how nothing could stand in between your destined love. You weren’t sure why you were disappointed when he did nothing but shrug softly.

“Shouldn’t you be upstairs with the other boys?” You eventually asked him in a soft tone, feeling calmer now that you started to feel familiar in his presence again. Despite looking shockingly different, this was still just Heeseung.

“I figured you’d be busy once the party started.” He was shrugging again like he hadn’t paid much thought to it but his stare was heavy on you. “Wanted to see you now before you were distracted.”

“I’d never be too busy to talk to you guys.” You were titling your head and shaking it slightly, a smile on your face that he didn’t match right away. He seemed like he was thinking about something you didn’t quite understand and your lip curved down a bit.

He was suddenly standing up and you paused in your slow chopping, setting the knife down and watching him as he rounded back around the island until he was standing beside you. You turned your body so you could actually face him and weren’t just showing him your shoulder, looking up at him and raising your eyebrows in confusion about what he needed on the side of the kitchen.

He didn’t say anything at first but your eyes widened a touch when he was taking a step closer to you, your back hitting the counter and your faces almost capable of touching if he ducked his head down to your height.

“What.. what are you..” You were trailing off into a small nervous laugh, your hands coming up to grip the counter behind you tightly.

“So you’ll find me at the party then?” He was asking before you could finish and his voice was a lot lower than you’d ever heard it, more used to high pitched laughter and boyish voice cracks over the lower rasp he was speaking in now. He was still suffocating close to you as he spoke and you imagined this would look pretty damning if someone were to walk in right now.

You were too stunned to respond to him right, mouth opening and closing for a few beats before he was reaching behind you to grab another carrot. You watched him as he popped it into his mouth, smirking at you slightly before taking a few steps backwards.

“See you then.” He was casually announcing like he hadn’t just practically been pushed up against you and you could do nothing but stare in bewilderment as he turned out of the kitchen and headed upstairs to your brothers room.

Your shoulders dropped in relief once he was out of sight , letting out a heavy breath and relaxing your white knuckled grip on the counter. You abandoned the carrots and raced up to your bedroom, trying your hardest to not think about the way your stomach had flipped with butterflies because of your little brothers friend.

——

“Wait a minute… like little Lee Heeseung? The kid who followed you around five summers in a row?” Your friends voice was crackling over your phone a few hours later and you groaned into the device.

“I know I know, but that’s exactly the problem. He’s not little anymore.” You stressed the words to try and get her to understand where you were coming from, embarrassed at the fact you had even admitted what had happened in the kitchen, whatever that was exactly.

“Yeah but dude you can’t get turned on by your brothers friend. It’s like gotta be totally immoral.” She was scolding you but you could hear the laughter in her voice as she shuffled with something on the other side of the phone. “Besides, he’s always been hot. You just never paid any attention to him.”

You groaned at his words and flopped over in your bed, laying on your stomach and stuffing your face into the pillow. You wished she didn’t word things so directly, suddenly feeling extremely wrong for the way Heeseung had made you feel. The second part of her sentence, for some reason, bothered you even more.

You had paid attention to Heeseung, you paid attention to all of your brothers friends. You considered the fact he had seemingly insinuated something similar in the kitchen earlier and you wondered if there was something you were missing, possibly forgetting a time you had directly dismissed the boy outside of playfully rejecting his faux flirting.

“Please don’t say it like that Yunjin, it makes me sound like a cougar or something.” You were practically whispering into the phone, extra paranoid about somebody overhearing considering all the boys were passing back and forth to help set up for the party.

“You are a bit of a cougar.” She was laughing into the phone but amidst your continuous groans and complaints she calmed herself down. “Isn’t he like 19 or something? That’s totally fine.”

“He’s 20.” You mumbled back, feeling even weirder that you were having to do the math to ensure what you were feeling suddenly was safe. It made your stomach turn to think about him in that way but every time your mind drifted back to the way he peered down at you in the kitchen, the feeling crept up again. “I’ve literally never even slightly considered this before, what am I supposed to do?”

“Well isn’t it obvious?” She was retorting in a dumbfounded voice, chewing on something loudly through the speaker and you winced in preparation. “Fuck him.”

You frowned as she said exactly what you were expecting her to, quickly telling her you were done with the conversation and hanging up as she laughed and asked you to call back later with updates.

You’d never in your life thought you would think about fucking Lee Heeseung. Actually, you’d never in your life even considered him in the regard of somebody who was capable of having sex with anybody or anything. He’d never once dipped a toe into your late night fantasies, never made you blush from skin to skin contact and he definitely never made you feel the way you did a few hours ago.

The knocking on your door took you out of your thoughts will a jump, so insecure about your inner monologue that you almost felt like whoever looked at you would be able to tell what you were thinking about.

Your mother was coming to tell you that guest had started to arrive and you quickly got dressed in a party suitable outfit, taking deep breaths in the mirror before putting on a sociable smile and joining in on the festivities that were centered around you.

It felt a little uncomfortable to be holding so many conversations with people you recognized but hadn’t seen in years, most the adults looking exactly the same but you couldn’t help the shock you felt when you realized their kids were speaking actual sentences now.

You somehow managed to go the first hour avoiding the sensitive topic of why you had come home in the first place and you had half the mind to assume your mom had asked people not to talk about it, both grateful for her care towards your feelings and humiliated that everyone was potentially avoiding the elephant in the room.

You didn’t spend too much time thinking about it considering you were avoiding your own elephant, a particularly well dressed one stood over by the drink table sipping, what you assumed, was your fathers fruit punch mix.

“Y/N, sweetheart. Do you mind refilling Ms. Jung’s cup for her? It’s such a hassle to get her walker out in the grass every time.” You stared at your mother in horror as she softly assigned you the task, knowing there was absolutely no way you could deny filling up your elderly neighbors empty cup.

You gave both women a tight smile, immediately loosing it and wincing when you were turning around and having to make your way over to the table that Heeseung was still standing at. He wasn’t looking in your direction yet thankfully and you reminded yourself that nothing had even happened, maybe you were reading too far into him just being comfortable enough to lean over you.

The table was halfway hidden behind the corner of the outside deck, neatly tucked into the back of the yard so it was visible but not in the way of guest who were mingling and having fun.

You’d barely taken a few steps before Heeseung was noticing you approaching, shifting in his stance and taking a sip of his cup as he watched you get closer and closer. You hoped your nerves weren’t evident on your face, already feeling ashamed of the way you accidentally scanned up and down his frame a few times as you got closer to him.

“Are you avoiding me?” He was asking before you’d barely even reached the table, startling you at his bluntness and your eyes widened a bit before you were shaking your head and reaching to grab the ladle from the punch bowl.

“Why would I be avoiding you?” You scoffed softly, trying to remember what you’d typically reply to him in this situation when you weren’t so thrown off by your crazy inner thoughts that had arrived.

“You tell me.” His voice was closer now and you turned your head to look at him, sucking in a small breath at the fact he was stood right next to your side and facing you now. You set the cup down on the table so you could look at him, finding it disrespectful to let people speak towards your shoulder.

Your eyes dropped down his frame again, taking in his outfit and then flicking back up just in time to see him cock an eyebrow at your staring. The two of you must have looked like you were intense conversation despite not saying anything for a few beats, standing too close to be casual. Not to mention the look in his eyes that made you look back down towards your hands after a few seconds of holding eye contact.

“I wouldn’t be avoiding you Heeseung.” You were shaking your head and fidgeting with your hands that were clasped together in front of you.

You weren’t technically lying, you hadn’t been actively going out of your way to not interact with him but you had also made no attempt to be near his side of the backyard.

He was nodding slowly down at you but you didn’t think he looked convinced. You would’ve been more worried about it and the fact you potentially hurt his feelings if it wasn’t for the fact he was suddenly taking more steps towards you. You instinctively moved backwards as he approached, not realizing how far until your back was colliding with the side of the house and you noted you were completely out of view from the rest of the guest now unless they approached the table directly.

“What are you doing?” You were asking him in a low whisper, staring up at him in surprise and flushing slightly at the way he was still just watching you, almost with a sense of amusement.

“Nothing. Just talking to you.” He was retorting casually but his hand was reaching up to push your hair behind your ear, falling down to rest on your side afterwards and you sucked in a breath at the feeling of him touching you.

You’d had contact with him hundreds of times before, stuck sitting on his knee during packed car rides or being smushed together on a couch during group movie night. You never thought for more than a second about it, slapping his arm when he would look at you and raise his eyebrows suggestively but other than that it was never something that lingered in your mind.

You knew immediately that this wouldn’t be the case for the way he was touching you now.

His hand was large and almost completely expanding the surface of your side, his fingers drumming along your hipbone for a second before remaining still like he was waiting to see if you were going to push him away. You thought about it, your instinct telling you to get him away from you due to your weakening self control and apparent moral ambiguity but your mind couldn’t help but to recall what Yunjin had said a few hours ago.

“We can’t do this.” You were telling him despite your uncertainty but your voice wasn’t stern in any sense and you let your hand come up to rest against his arm again to really drive forward your lack of meaning.

“Do what?” He was turning his head slightly like he was confused but there was a small smirk on his lips and he ducked his head down closer to yours, pulling your hips off the house so you were closer to him. “What are we doing Y/N?”

He was definitely teasing you now and you felt slightly breathless at how intimidating he suddenly seemed, feeling like you’d entered another dimension in which you were somehow getting goosebumps from the way Lee Heeseung held onto you.

You wondered if he found this as weird as you did or if he had changed so much to the point where he wasn’t thinking too much about toeing the line with his best friends sister. The boy you knew wasn’t big with girls, you never heard him talk about them with the others or brag about any interactions he had with the opposite gender.

He was especially silent on the topic whenever you were in the room, listening in from the kitchen despite the bored expression on your face. You’d catch sight of him sending you nervous glances as they asked him who he had a crush on at school and you’d smile at him before going upstairs and casually telling your friends about your brothers weird friend and his crush on you.

You didn’t know this Heeseung as well and that was clear to you by the way you could feel his breath fanning your face and your vision being completely blocked by his large frame keeping you pinned against the house.

Maybe this new version of him didn’t care about your history or how much conflict would arise if somebody were to suddenly want to quench their thirst right now and catch the two of you in such a compromising position. Maybe he put no meaning behind teasing you like this and he simply was just bored and looking to flirt with the nearest girl around his age.

“Why are you doing this?” You decided it couldn’t hurt to just directly ask him, although you weren’t sure how true that was considering you felt his hand immediately tense.

“Maybe I just missed you.” He was answering smoothly despite clearly being thrown off and you could feel his thumb swiping up and down against your dress, frowning slightly at the small shrug he gave you.

“You missed me?” You whispered back, keeping your tone light and almost teasing to try and revert him back to being comfortable around you again. He didn’t say anything but he watched you intently as you spoke. “You could’ve called.”

“Would you have answered?” His responses were quick like he’d been practicing again and you lost the soft smile that had been building up at the feeling of his touch.

“Why do you keep saying things like that?” You poured out at him in confusion, not understanding the multiple accusations like you had; at some point, upset him or made him feel ignored.

He didn’t say anything for a bit again and he seemed unfocused for a few seconds, you squeezed his arm softly to try and bring his focus back on to you and when he looked down at you again, you almost thought you were looking at him from five years ago.

You didn’t rush him to answer you but you felt slightly sick at the lack of understanding you currently seemed to have, also still stuck on the fact he had directly said he missed you. You had missed being around your family and you missed seeing all the boys together causing mayhem, missed the long summer nights and weekends up at the lake.

You weren’t sure you had specifically missed Lee Heeseung. He made you laugh a lot more than the other boys despite you never showing it to lessen his ego and you felt closer to him at times considering he was the oldest, easily understanding most of your struggles or difficulties whilst the other boys hadn’t begun to mature enough to properly empathize with you.

And sure he was cute. You felt thrown off completely by what Yunjin had said earlier about him always being attractive, definitely never considering him in that way and completely blind to the fact your friends apparently had.

“You were busy, I don’t know.” He was suddenly saying and taking you out of your consideration, vaguely answering your question. “I was just some stupid kid.”

His words seemed heavy and like they carried more meaning than just being the reason he didn’t pick up a phone and call you while you were away. You thought for a second so you could approach the sensitive subject carefully.

“That’s not why.” You were shaking your head and he watched you in anticipation, his hand instinctively pulling you forward again and you let yourself be tugged up against him. “You were Jungwon’s friend. You are Jungwon’s friend.”

You correcting yourself to remind him that it was still true made his eyes darken slightly. You felt guilty for saying it considering he had clearly thought his age was the issue and potentially decided that things would be different now but you crushed that hope by admitting that the thing that kept your relationship distant was not something he could change.

Despite feeling like he was hinting at something, you were still clueless to his intent and were speaking in a general sense, why you hadn’t considered him a friend or ever expected a phone call.

“So you don’t see me as a kid?” He was latching on to the good part of what you had said and you saw that confidence return slightly, your back pressing against the wall again but this time flush against his front.

“I did but…” You trailed off when your breath caught in your throat at the feeling of his hands sliding off your hip and instead landing on your lower back.

You felt the same wave of arousal you had in the kitchen when he leaned over you, staring up at him with wide eyes and slightly parted lips as you waited to see what he was going to do. Every time you focused in on who exactly it was touching you, you felt a bit dizzy but you couldn’t deny what you were feeling when he shifting his hips over yours and ducking his head closer to your neck.

“Heeseung.” You squeaked out in warning and you felt him pull you tighter at the sound of your voice saying his name, your tone breathy as he slotted his knee so it was resting between your legs.

He was barely touching you, not a single inch of skin touching skin and his leg just hovering between yours but you felt like your stomach was on fire and you were overwhelmed with desire for him suddenly, something you couldn’t remember feeling for anybody in recent years.

“Tell me to stop and I will.” He was whispering back to you and his lips were hovering over yours, brushing against them occasionally as he spoke and his eyes were dark enough to make a shiver run through your body.

You were parting your lips to answer him, to deny him stopping and ask him to keep doing whatever he wanted as long as he was still touching you but you quickly froze up when you heard the sound of Jake’s voice getting closer, loudly announcing his need for your dad’s famous punch.

Heeseung didn’t need to be told to remove himself from you, immediately taking two big steps back and you suddenly felt extremely cold and empty now that you were left stood against the house alone, dress slightly ridden up from his hands gripping onto your frame and breathing uneven. You steadied yourself and flushed with a deep embarrassment as the older boy casually turned to his friend who had approached the table and struck up a conversation.

He spared you a glance as he spoke to Jake and you realized he was giving you the opportunity to slip away undetected, immediately taking the chance and circling back around to the party.

You quickly approached your mom and told her you weren’t feeling good and you needed to go lay down, ignoring her questions about where your neighbors punch had gone and what had took you so long. You quickly greeted some guest as you walked swiftly through the yard, heading back inside and going to hide in your room until everybody , including Heeseung, had left.

——

You stayed in bed for the entirety of the next day, ignoring Jungwon’s soft knocks as he asked you to come down for breakfast or accompany him and his friends whilst they went out later on in the afternoon.

You felt guilty at your lack of responses, your door locked and hiding underneath your covers as your head spun with the memory of what had happened. You were totally embarrassed that you’d almost been caught with Heeseung, not even capable of imagining how hurt your brother might feel if you were found with one of his closest friends in such a way.

The two of you had never talked about it before because he knew you’d never considered any of them in that way, he’d roll his eyes and groan at Heeseung’s attempts of flirting with you but he seemed to know better than to take it seriously.

It still wasn’t a line you ever wanted to cross, not finding it worth the chance of upsetting him and damaging your close relationship.

You felt terrible that you were considering it now, contemplating if it was worth listening to your bodies wants and the way your stomach turned every time Heeseung entered a room you were in. So you had decided today you wouldn’t give the situation any more opportunity to grow, you definitely couldn’t stand being in a car with him or out in public like things were casual, like anything that had happened was normal.

It was a few hours after they’d left to their plans that you were getting a text from your brother letting you know that they had all decided to come back to your house to spend the night, not finding any reason to all go to their separate homes considering they’d just be together again tomorrow.

You knew he was only letting you know so you didn’t accidentally step on Sunoo asleep on the living room floor or get spooked by Riki heading to the bathroom at 3am but you couldn’t help but take it as the universe giving you some warning that Heeseung was going to be back in the house.

You sent him a quick text letting him know you didn’t mind and thanking him for the heads up before you were laying the device back down on your chest, staring up at your ceiling and eventually hearing the sounds of the boys all entering the house with loud laughs and heavy footsteps as they changed into their sleep clothes and made makeshift blanket beds on the floor between the couches.

It was vibrating against your chest after about half an hour of zoning out in contemplation and you ignored it for a few minutes before realizing it could potentially be Jungwon needing something, already feeling guilty enough about ignoring him in real life and not wanting to add to your misery by doing it virtually too.

Lee Heeseung : Are you awake?

You froze up at the notification on your phone, closing down the screen immediately and sitting up in bed with a jump. You took a few breaths and waited a moment before you were turning on the screen again to confirm what you had read.

Hesitantly, you swiped open the screen and watched it unlock onto you and Heeseung’s text conversation. You could see the one above, him having wished you a happy birthday two years ago and you replying back with a small photo of a cute dog saying thank you. He had hearted your message but never actually replied to the dry response from you and your heart twisted uncomfortably as your fingers hovered over the keyboard.

Y/N : yeah why

Y/N : are you okay?

You hesitantly sent the second message before flipping your phone back around nervously and waiting to feel it vibrate again.

Lee Heeseung : Can you let me in?

You froze for a second in confusion, not fully understanding what he was talking about until your eyes were slowly trailing up towards your lock door. You could feel your heart racing as you slowly stood to go and open it, mouth parting softly when it revealed him standing in the hallway.

His hair was messy and damp like he’d just washed it, wearing a black tshirt and sweatpants for sleeping in. You weren’t sure if the other boys were already sleeping or if he was just acting on impulse and not thinking before coming to your bedroom. You had a feeling it might’ve been the latter considering the smell of alcohol coming from him as he shuffled past you into your bedroom.

You watched him flop down onto your bed, his face pressed into your pillow as he laid on his stomach. You sighed softly but followed behind him, opting to sit on the edge of your bed beside him instead of crawling back underneath the covers and putting yourself in a dangerous position. “You’re drunk?”

“No.” He was rolling over flat onto his back with a low groan and turning his head once he completely rolled, looking at you with low hazy eyes. “Just had a few drinks.”

This sentence felt weird to hear come out of his mouth, still underaged now technically but he’d been young enough when you left that he didn’t even consider drinking. You gave him a disbelieving stare but you could tell he was being honest, only slightly slurring his words and his eyes were sharp and focused as he stared at you.

“God.” He was suddenly letting out in a breathy voice and you raised an eyebrow in question. “If you told me from five years ago that’d I’d be in your bedroom… he would’ve punched me in the face.”

You laughed softly at his abrupt confession, shifting on the bed so you were sat fully on it and leaning against your headboard. You were thinking something similar, the image of both of you side by side in your pajamas would’ve most likely caused 18 year old you to scream bloody murder and kick him out of your bedroom.

“Don’t exaggerate.” You told him softly with a smile, he laughed a bit and then was shaking his head against your bed.

“I’m serious, you have no idea how many times I..” He was suddenly trailing off and freezing like he had said too much, your own smile slowly slipping off in confusion as you watched

him glance over at you. Your eyes habitually shot down to his shirt for a second, taking deep breaths that caused his broad chest to rise and fall.

When you looked back up at him, his eyes had darkened more and you held your breath as his hand slowly moved closer to where you were sitting. You didn’t say anything when you felt his knuckles grazing over your bare thigh, wearing shorts to bed typically and suddenly being grateful you had.

It was the first time he had directly touched you with no layers in between and if you weren’t already set on risking everything to feel him touch you again, now it was increased tenfold at the feeling of his warm skin against yours. He was flipping his hand over so the entirety of his palm was resting on the middle of your thigh but he didn’t move it again, just testing the water.

“How many times you what?” You whispered to him, even though something told you that you already knew the answer. You still wanted to hear him say it and your patience grew thin as he did nothing but watch you with low hazy eyes. “Heeseung.”

“I’ve probably had too much to drink.” He was laughing softly and closing his eyes but you could tell he was just trying to distract you from what he had almost said, clearly embarrassed at his loose tongue and laughing out of nerves.

You don’t know why you didn’t drop the subject, why you didn’t just nod your head and ask him something safe like how their night out was. You were totally bewildered by yourself when your hand was reaching down to cover his, sliding it up your thigh a touch until his thumb was hitting the bottom of your small shorts. His eyes shot up to yours and widened a bit before looking back down towards your lower half.

“I won’t make fun of you.” You were trying to reassure him but your voice had a similar nervous shake to it, especially at the feeling of his hand tensing. “I just.. want to hear you say it.”

“Used to jerk off to you all the time.” He was saying it in one breath and you tensed up at his sudden words. He wasn’t trying to sound sexy or tease you, simply fulfilling your request with urgency as soon as he noticed you didn’t mind what he was implying. “Almost every time I saw you.”

You’d frozen up for a few second at the vulgarity of the statement before you felt the familiar rush of arousal running through you, accelerated by the way he was mindlessly kneading your thigh as he watched you to see your reaction to his confession.

It was hard for you to imagine, obviously understanding boy hormones paired with the fact he had clearly had some form of interest in you back then but you had no idea it went as far as it did. You were completely clueless to the fact that he was genuinely fantasizing over you, touching himself once he got home and thinking about doing god knows what whilst he did it.

The thought should’ve made you uncomfortable, knowing now that he spent all those years thinking about you sexually so often but instead you couldn’t help but shift slightly on the bed so your leg was pressing against his shoulder, lifting your other knee and bending it so his hand could sink between your legs if he wanted to.

“What would you think about?” You were asking him suddenly and he sucked in a breath. Your eyes were wide with curiosity and it almost could’ve passed as innocent if it wasn’t for your hand covering his, keeping his touch on you.

“Fuck… just anything.” He was admitting and he let out another laugh but this one was more so directed towards himself and his past. “Just the thought of you most of the time, didn’t even need to be doing anything.”

“What about the other times?” Your breath was hitching when his thumb was shifting forward again and accidentally swiping underneath your shorts, something so small feeling magnified by the heavy tension in the room.

“Just wanted to touch you I think.” His eyes were fluttering close like he was lost in thought and you watched the side of his face intensely. “Sometimes I’d think about you teaching me shit, showing me how to do stuff that would make you feel good.”

His answer, although clearly filthy and way past the line you’d silently established, was strangely sweeter than you’d expected it to be. You were prepared to hear him admit how much he wanted to fuck you, prove to you what a man he was all along. Instead he had imagined just being able to feel you, to learn what you liked and what made you feel pleasure.

“But you know stuff now don’t you?” Your voice was soft but he definitely caught it, his eyes flickering open and looking at you with something heavy.

“Yeah.” He was breathing out. “I do.”

He was starting to sit up after saying that but you hurriedly put your hand on his chest to stop him, instead laying down as much as he was so you were laying against his side while he was still flat on his back with his head propped up on your pillows. You were practically curled into his side now, keeping one of your hands on his chest and using the other to rest under your head as you looked at him.

You weren’t sure how much experience Heeseung had although he had just alluded to doing something before, you toyed with the idea that he could be lying to try and impress you but one of your favorite things about him was his blunt honesty whenever you directly asked him a question.

“Can you show me?” You heart was racing as you voiced your request, his eyebrows furrowing with confusion before your hand started to slide down his chest and stomach, stopping at the waistband of his sweatpants.

His breath hitched again at the implication but he was quickly nodding and shifting slightly so he could pull them down, wasting no time in case you started to come to your senses and change your mind or ask him to leave you bedroom. You’d seen Heeseung in his underwear before, or swim trunks bordering on the same amount of exposed skin, but it was a noticeably different setting now.

His legs were thick with muscle now and more importantly, he was clearly already hard underneath the fabric despite the fact you’d barely touched each other. Whatever he was thinking about with his eyes closed seemed to have done the trick and you kept your eyes glued on his lower half before glancing at him again to see what he was waiting for.

“How is this happening right now?” He was muttering under his breath to himself and you didn’t reply, mouth parting in a small gasp when he moved his hand to cup his bulge through the thin fabric.

You watched with slightly widened eyes as he rubbed himself, letting out small groans and sucking in tight breaths and he tried to keep himself calm under your intense gaze. You could feel him continuously looking at your face but you didn’t take your eyes off of where his hand was.

His stomach tightened when you were moving yours up off where it was resting on the bed between you, pushing his shirt up slightly so it wasn’t in the way of his movements and also so you could watch the way the muscles contracted with every touch. He had goosebumps on his arm from the way your fingers slowly trailed up his stomach, eventually laying flat over his belly button and feeling the way he took deep breaths the more overwhelmed he got.

“Is this how you’d do it?” You were suddenly asking him, increasingly curious about his habits and he shook his head softly with another grunt. “Did you ever do it here?”

“Fuck.” He was forcing out as he laughed again softly in disbelief, you finally looked at his face and he was watching you intensely with a flush on his cheeks. “Y-your birthday.. the pool party after you hugged me goodbye in that pink swimsuit.”

“You remember my swimsuit?” The surprise slipped into your voice and he gave you a heavy look, like it was something obvious that he would remember something so small and specific about you.

Your stomach felt like it was on fire at the thought of him not even being able to make it home after you’d pressed yourself up against him absentmindedly, needing to resort to relieving himself quickly in your bathroom just because you’d been showing some skin.

Your hand was pushing up his shirt more again, rubbing up and down his stomach and your eyes flickered down again just in time to see him pushing his hand underneath the waistband of his underwear and letting out a big breath as he finally touched himself without anything in the way.

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you wondered if he was trying to calm himself down to make this last longer, testing the theory by shifting your leg so it was over his right one and resting near where his hand was currently working against himself. His free hand was coming up to instinctively grab onto your bare skin and stop you from making contact with where he was throbbing, gripping just under your knee tightly and shaking his head at you.

You smiled softly, cheeks flushing at the fact he’d clearly caught on to what you were doing but you were grateful when he didn’t remove his hand from you, instead sliding it back up to your thigh and holding it tight and still on top of him.

“I can’t believe this is real.” He was mumbling again and you snorted a laugh at his second exclamation of amazement, ducking your head down so your forehead hit his shoulder and you could feel his heart beating so fast you were almost worried when your hand slid further up his chest.

“Heeseung.” Your voice automatically made his focus snap back on you and he eagerly nodded to show he was listening. “I want to see you.”

He paused for a second before nodding again and hurrying to fulfill your request, shifting his lower half so he could move his boxers farther down on his thighs and give you a clearer view of the way he was touching himself, you laid your head on his shoulder and turned it sideways so you could watch him, stroking himself slowly to full hardness while trying not to overwhelm himself.

Definitely not for the first time, you found yourself thinking about how pretty he was. He’d always been a pretty boy to you, even back when you were younger but you were realizing now that almost every single part of him was apparently perfectly crafted and beautiful, another wave of arousal ripping through you as you watched him twist his hand around his impressive length and buck his hips softly in pleasure.

“Sometimes you’d.. fuck.” He was trailing off into a moan and you picked your head up off his shoulder to look at his face and raise an eyebrow. “Sometimes when you’d sit on my lap during road trips.. god I was so worried you’d feel how hard I’d get just from being that close to you.”

“You should’ve said something.” You were telling him with a small frown but you both knew how that would have turned out, absolutely no chance of you returning his desires or even allowing him to say such things to you without upset.

He still seemed to appreciate even being able to humor the idea that you would have let him touch you back then, his hips twitching under your leg and you softly rubbed his stomach after laying your head back down near his collarbone. You could tell that Heeseung was close and clearly trying to drag it out for some unknown reason, not working himself as fast as he wanted to and holding his breath tight every few minutes.

You tried to calm down the flush in your face when you were turning your head to kiss alongside his jaw gently, listening to the inhale he took and the way his arm tensed from where it was pressed against you.

Your lips slowly trailing across his face and down to his neck seemed to officially push him over the edge, no longer able to delay his orgasm that was rushing through him and causing him to let out groans far too loud for your quiet house. Your hand was leaving his stomach to gently cover his mouth, pulling off his neck with a wet smack to look down again and watch as his stomach twitched under the cum now decorating it.

The silence afterwards was overwhelming, listening to him take deep breaths and calm himself down while your heart was beating so fast you almost feared he could hear it.

An awkwardness settled into your skin and you weren’t sure if it was just you or if he felt it too, the realization of what you’d just done hitting you. This wasn’t just some random hookup, not some guy you wouldn’t have to see after this. This wasn’t something casual or without consequences, you had fully crossed a line that you couldn’t backtrack over with somebody you’d spent most of the second half of your life knowing.

“Are you okay?” His soft voice was a direct reminder of that and your eyes shot up to his face, feeling a sick guilt at the nerves settling into his face now that the spell of lust had died back down.

“Yeah I just…” You sat up more and cleared your throat awkwardly, looking away from him and after a few seconds you were standing to go and get him a rag from your bathroom. “I think you should probably head to bed.”

His mouth parted in surprise and you saw a flicker of hurt pass through his face as you extended the rag to him, feeling his fingers graze against yours as he took it and cleaned himself up with a sudden blush creeping up his neck.

You felt more and more guilt eating away at you as he dressed himself properly again with that look on his face but you couldn’t take seeing him in your bed for another second, the reality of what you had done fully settling in now and leaving you with a sick feeling in your stomach.

Heeseung was standing in the hallway after you’d walked him to the door awkwardly, still just stood in place and staring at you and you softly closed the door on him after wishing him a mumbled goodnight. You knew you should’ve reassured him that it was okay and that he didn’t do anything wrong but that felt like a lie to you right now anyways and you didn’t think it was fair to confuse him by telling him you didn’t mind it.

The guilt remained even after you heard him softly going down the stairs, curling back into your bed and finding that your blankets smelt like him now.

——

The next morning came quickly and you immediately knew you wouldn’t be able to repeat your hermit behavior from yesterday, being woken up by your moms fist slamming on your door and strictly reminding you that you were all meant to go up to the lake house for the weekend.

You groaned softly into your pillow but you knew there was no use in complaining, dragging yourself out of bed despite the fact you’d barely slept more than a few hours after Heeseung had left.

You took the longest to get ready, slipping on a bathing suit underneath a dress and packing a small one strap bag with the essentials. You were criss crossing it over your chest and racing down the steps, hurriedly apologizing to your mother as you passed her glaring at you in the doorway.

When you got outside, your footsteps slowed to a stop as you watched all the boys and you dad loading up the van, frowning slightly as your body quickly reminded your brain about what had happened. Jungwon gave you a small smile and greeting and you could see Heeseung following his line of sight and perking up at the sight of you, hoping he didn’t notice how you quickly looked away.

You all piled into the van and luckily your parents knew you far too old to be stuck on somebody’s lap the entire ride, still being stuck pressed tightly between Heeseung and Jay in the back row.

You were grateful for the boy on your right considering he immediately popped in his headphones and pulled his sleep mask over his eyes, not able to say the same about your other seat partner considering he was staring at you intently the second you sat down and making you squirm in your seat.

Your phone was vibrating in your lap and you glanced down at it, picking it up and turning down your music so you could focus on reading the text.

Lee Heeseung : Why are you avoiding me?

He was shifting beside you, obviously embarrassed you were reading his text and you looked over at him quickly before flushing and going back to stare at the message on your screen. Your fingers hovered for a few seconds as you tried to think of a response, knowing you couldn’t just ignore him and sit in awkward silence for the next two hours.

Y/N : im not.. we can talk once we get up there

You sent the text and shut your screen off quickly, watching the side of his face as he turned on his own device to read it. He nodded softly at you after he had and your heart clenched at the hesitation in his eyes.

He took the hint and didn’t try to talk to you again for the rest of the ride, making you feel weirdly disappointed despite him just following your instructions. You felt confused by your own actions so you couldn’t imagine what he was thinking, your body and mind finding comfort just from the feeling of his leg pressed against yours but at the same time you felt regretful about what you’d done.

You felt even worse when your brother was glancing back in his seat to smile at you with excitement, giving you an encouraging thumbs up and you forced a smile back at him.

You turned the music in your headphones back up to full volume and tilted your head sideways so it could land on Jay’s shoulder, closing your eyes and trying not to think about the hole you’ve dug yourself.

——

Heeseung and you didn’t get a chance to talk until later on in the day, all the kids being tasked with unpacking bags and making adjustments to the lake house that hadn’t been used since last summer.

Jake and you were sat in the living room, calmly discussing sleeping arrangements and who would have to stay back and help with dinner cleanup rather than go and swim with the rest of the group. You were sat criss crossed on the couch and he was directly beside you, gently shoving your knee as he laughed at an off handed comment you’d made.

“Y/N.” Your head snapped up at the sound of a new voice in the doorway and you and Jake both stared in confusion when you took in the sharp glare Heeseung was sending in your directions. “Can I talk to you? Outside.”

He said the last word pointedly and you frowned at the look he sent his friend, glancing at Jake before standing up off the couch and ruffling his hair affectionately. He seemed to take the hint that you were leaving and awkwardly nodded in understanding.

Heeseung was already turning to leave before you even managed to get close to him and you followed behind him as he passed through the house, exiting out of the slider doors onto the overhanging deck that showcased the lake view. You pulled your sleeves over your hands, feeling the windy chill of the water now that the sun was starting to set but a shiver was running through you for other reasons when the boy turned to send you a hurt look.

“Why are you only ignoring me?” He was spitting out and your eyebrows furrowed in confusion at how upset he sounded. “What, you’ve seen my dick and now you can’t even talk to me?”

Your mouth was parting in a gasp and you approached him swiftly, covering his mouth with your hand and glancing around at all the open windows and terrain to make sure nobody had heard his outburst of confession.

“What are you talking about Hee? I said we could discuss it later.” You were whispering yelling back to him and his eyes softened at the nickname before he was wrapping his hand around your wrist and removing the cover over his mouth.

“You couldn’t put any urgency behind that?” He sounded less angry now and more hurt, staring down at you with a muddied expression and you felt the guilt settle back in full force. “Especially after kicking me out like that last night, I’ve been going crazy.”

You sighed but didn’t say anything for a few seconds, letting the crashing waves fill up the silence as your heart started to beat faster. You weren’t sure which direction you should go, probably easier to lie to him and tell him you’d made a mistake and it wasn’t going to happen again. That seemed favorable over having to explain that you kicked him out because you couldn’t stop thinking about him as much as you were already.

“I know I said some crazy things.” He was moving his hand off your wrist to hold onto your palm gently, holding it at the same level of his chest and looking into your eyes with a hint of desperation in his. “If I made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry. I’d never ever want to do that to you.”

“You didn’t.” You were shaking your head and quick to reassure him, not wanting him to fall into that mindset. “It’s just.. we can’t do this Heeseung. It’s not right and you know we can’t.”

“Why?” He was saying it in bewilderment, really emphasizing the word like he truly didn’t understand what was so wrong about you messing around together.

“Look Hee, I get that it’s hard but it’s not that big of a deal. You’re going to go off to college and find a girl your age that, preferably isn’t your best friends sister.” You were sighing and giving him a sad smile as you spoke, trying to lighten the situation and calm him down. “It’s not like you’re inlove with me or anything.”

He froze up at the words and didn’t say anything, just staring down at you with a strange expression that took you a few seconds to decipher. Your mouth parted with realization and you quickly dropped your hand from his, taking a small step back and covering your lips with your fingers.

He winced at your reaction and looked away from you so you couldn’t see the way his eyes shook, body tight and rigid where he stood in front of you. Neither of you needed to say anything for you to understand the situation.

“Listen Y/N.” He was starting to try and explain but you raised your hand to silence him, shaking it slightly to really indicate that you couldn’t handle hearing him speak right now.

“Since when?” You were asking quickly, voice stern and forceful as your mind kept replaying the past few years and any possible sign you’d missed from the boy. Your stomach turned at the fact he wasn’t just making passes out you to have some fun, it didn’t mean nothing to him what had happened last night and you’d probably deeply hurt him when you kicked him out afterwards.

“Since forever.” He was saying it in a weak tone and his nose scrunched up like he knew the words would put the final nail in the coffin, confirming that he’s always had feelings for you.

“Fuck.” You were breathing out and taking another step away from him, shaking your head and feeling tears well up in your eyes as you looked at him.

He didn’t say anything else after that, knowing there was nothing he could say that could convince you this situation was alright. You wanted to tell him that you weren’t upset with him, that he didn’t do anything wrong by feeling this way or telling you, but your words completely failed you as shock took over your body.

You felt sick over kicking him out without any care last night, even worse about how much you rejected him in high school and the realization that he most likely never had a girlfriend because he was so enamored with you all these years. You thought about the boys you’d brought home, never thinking twice about the way his jaw clenched as he left the room whenever somebody would stay for dinner.

Then you thought about the last time you remember seeing him, the nervous look in his eye as he handed you the bouquet full of your favorite flowers and the way he’d gotten caught off as he tried to explain why he’d gotten them.

“The babys breath.” You were finally saying after a bit of tense silence, looking up at him and finding him already watching you with a dejected look. You didn’t need to explain what you were implying for him to understand, nodding his head softly.

“Everlasting love.” He was answering in a weak voice and he gave you a sad smile, eyes watering as he turned his head again to look out towards the water.

You weren’t sure what to say to him after that, just watching the side of his face and feeling your heart shatter for all the time he spent struggling with this. You couldn’t lie and tell him you understood how he felt and it wasn’t fair to yourself to feel guilty when you didn’t know but you cared about him deeply and you didn’t want him to be in pain.

He was tensing him when you stepped closer, resting your hand gently on his arm to warn him of your approach before you were pulling him in for a hug.

His chest lifted with a heavy inhale of relief at the feeling of you wrapping your arms around him, rubbing his back softly and letting him duck his head down into your neck. You found yourself not caring about the possibility of somebody walking out and seeing you in such an intimate position, only focusing on making him feel better and helping him understand the affection you carried for him.

You stayed like that for a while, just feeling his chest rise against yours and his soft breath on your neck. Then you were pulling back to get a better look at him and his expression, trying to read what he was feeling.

You’d planned to say something of comfort, to voice actual reassurance but you had no opportunity to do so considering he was leaning forward the second your lips began to part.

Kissing Heeseung was never something you’d thought about, even after the past few days it hadn’t been your number one focus but you suddenly felt very stupid for taking the action for granted. You’d kissed lots of people before, boyfriends or blind dates but nobody had ever felt as perfect as he did.

His hands were coming up to cup your face, gentle in the way he was touching you but pushing into the kiss with a raging desperation that made your heart clench again. You returned it the best you could, not able to match up with his years of longing but just as intoxicated by the feeling of him against you.

Heeseung kept pulling you deeper and deeper in, holding onto you like he was terrified of you pulling away and telling him it was a mistake again, that he was something you weren’t able to do. You squeezed your arms that were still around his back to try and silently reassure him that you weren’t going anywhere and he pulled back to place his forehead against yours, staring into your eyes with tears still in his.

You felt your heart shatter again at the look on his face, then even more so at the realization that you just wanted to keep kissing him.

“Just give me a chance.” He was whispering out and his lip grazed yours as he spoke the words.

You frowned softly and looked at him, standing on your tip toes for a second to press another kiss against his lips and bringing a hand up to gently push the hair out of his face. He watched you as you did this but you could tell he wasn’t fully letting himself be vulnerable until you confirmed that you would give this an actual attempt.

You stared at him for a while, your mind and your heart telling you two different things and your face crumbled slightly. “We can’t.”

Your voice came out in a small whisper but he caught it immediately, expression hardening up as he took a step away from you. Your hands were reaching out to try and grab him again instinctively but he was clenching his jaw and shaking his head and he turned to leave the deck, heading back inside without another word and leaving you standing there with the taste of him still on your lips.

——

The next two days were miserable, full of him clearly avoiding you and your body longing for him to be close even for a second. You didn’t try to approach him again or complain considering he had to deal with this feeling for half of his life, wanting something this desperately that you couldn’t have was really dampening your mood for the trip and you’d barely left the lake house.

Your mother had actually convinced you to go down to the water today, sensing your sour mood and just assuming you were still feeling weird about coming home. She told you that some sun on your skin would make you feel better and you agreed with her despite the different circumstances.

Dinner had just finished and you were wearing your bathing suit in the kitchen, at the sink cleaning up the dishes from all the boys who had already raced down to the water. You’d told your parents to go ahead without out since they had cooked and been working so hard, citing that you’d follow behind after you finished cleaning up.

It was barely twenty minutes into clearing the dining room and scrubbing at the seemingly endless amount of plates when you heard somebody come back into the house.

“Mom? I’m almost done.” You were calling out, thinking she was coming back inside to check on you but you froze up when somebody else rounded the corner instead.

Heeseung didn’t come fully into the dining room, just watching you for a moment with an unreadable expression on his face. He was only wearing his swim trunks and his hair was dripping onto his shoulders. You would’ve scolded him for the small puddle forming under his feet but you knew it wasn’t your place anymore.

“Oh. Did you need something?” Your voice was awkward and you saw him tongue his cheek as you spoke, glancing away for a second before he was taking a few steps further into the room and you quickly looked down at the sink so you didn’t have to stare at him.

You expected him to just ignore you and pass through the kitchen, getting whatever it was that he needed before heading back outside to the water.

Your mouth was dropping up in a surprised gasp when he did the opposite and your entire body tensed up at the feeling of him directly behind you. He wasn’t fully touching you but you could feel the wetness of his shorts graze against your lower back and a shiver ran through you, both from the cold and his close proximity.

“What are you-“ You were cut off as your words turned into a soft whine, Heeseung completely pressing against you from behind and your stomach hit the edge of the counter uncomfortably.

You could feel his hands sliding over your waist to grab at your hips, tugging just your backside harder against him and shifting you forward until you were practically bending over the sink. You could feel the loose water from doing the dishes wetting your bikini top, nipples hardening under the cold water and you instinctively shifted your hips backwards to try and get away from the feeling.

“Heeseung.” You were gasping out in a warning but he didn’t seem to take it as one, squeezing your hips harder at the sound of your voice.

It was an overwhelming high to be touched by him again, your body lighting up with an intense fire at the feeling of his body pressed against you but the logical side of you couldn’t help but feel strange considering you hadn’t talked in two days due to your previous rejection.

“Do you want it?” His voice was low and you felt tears spring to your eyes with how badly you’d missed hearing him speak to you, squeezing them shut even though he couldn’t see your face anyways.

He was shifting his hips purposely, dragging his cock against your barely clothed bottom and you arched instinctively back into him, head dropping lower into another small whine and you were nodding your head in earnest. He didn’t react to your silent confirmation, squeezing your side almost uncomfortably until you got the memo.

“Yes yes, please. I want it so bad.” You were gasping out and he automatically rolled his hips into yours again, tugging you further into him each time he did it so you could fully feel him dragging himself against you. The cold of his shorts quickly disappeared considering you were completely on fire, throbbing in your bottoms and trying your hardest to push against his grip so you could meet him halfway in his slow movements.

“Walking around dressed like this.” His voice was pained as he spoke, low and bordering on a growl as he thrust against you with more force. “I know this is what you wanted, wanted me to come and fuck you until you couldn’t think.”

It hadn’t even your intention when you dressed in your swimsuit but you couldn’t lie and pretend you hadn’t thought about him as you put it on, not needing to deliberate between the black or pink one before you were slipping the latter on and heading downstairs.

He was relentless in the way he was fucking against you, thankful for his rough hands on your hips stopping you from slamming continuously into the counters. You were a nonstop mess of moans and whines as he kept getting harder and more rough, his cock pressing against you and making your head spin with desire for him.

Your hand was slipping off the counter and shakily going around your back, tugging at the string of fabric on your waist impatiently and his breath caught in his throat, pausing in his movements and causing a frustrated whine to slip out of you.

“Yeah?” He was genuinely asking but the tone in which he said it made your stomach flip, more wetness pushing out of you as you practically sobbed with the need to feel him. He took the hint this time and was hurriedly pulling down your bottoms, pausing once your core was completely bare and exposed. “Fuck Y/N, look at you.”

You flushed at the adoration in his voice and you were grateful he couldn’t see your face from this angle, your hips shifting uncomfortably and accidentally showcasing yourself off to his eager eyes more. He didn’t say anything else but you could still feel him staring at you, letting out a sharp cry when his hands were coming up to touch you gently. He wasn’t groping you, his fingers experimentally spreading you apart so he could see the way your hole clenched around nothing.

“So fucking pretty.” His voice was sounding again and you felt truly humiliated now, your heart racing faster with every compliment said in that genuine tone.

You decided to put an end to his gentle behavior, pushing your hips backwards so his fingers were accidentally touching you more and he was getting the memo that you wanted him to fuck against you again. You knew he wouldn’t actually fuck you, not quick and rough like this but you were grateful when he was standing up to press against you again.

“Please Hee, please.” You were whimpering out and he wasted no time building it up slow, immediately gripping your waist again and aggressively fucking himself against you. He was still wearing his thin swim trunks but you could feel it all so much better now that you were naked and he was completely hard.

His fingers were wet against your side from where he’d been touching you and you felt dizzy as his hard cock keep pressing against you, throbbing and on the verge of begging for him to just take you raw right here in the kitchen.

Your heart was racing at the thought of somebody walking in right now, the floor plan so open that all it would take is somebody needing a towel or a quick trip to the bathroom. Heeseung didn’t seem to care and you let out another cry when his hand was off your hip and tangling in your hair, tugging softly and then harder when you let out a moan of approval.

He was pulling you up by his grip so your back was pressed against his chest, wrapping his free arm around your stomach to keep you in place and he kept humping against you.

You felt embarrassed that he could see your face now, staring at your side profile and the way your mouth was open and letting out streams of moans. His big hand was sliding off your stomach to aggressively grope your chest, tugging down your bathing suit top with little effort and wasting no time before he was squeezing the mounds and tugging on your hardened nipples.

It was rough and aggressive, bordering on painful but it was everything you needed after him barely even looking at you the entire weekend. You were leaning into his brutal touches and pushing your hips back against his and he continued to fuck up into you.

You knew the scene had to be pornographic considering the way he had swiftly undressed you, not even fully taking off your top as it dangled over your stomach.

His hand was abandoning your chest to grip your jaw and you were confused for a moment as he twisted your head sideways until you realized he was trying to move your face closer together, his hooked over your shoulder and still watching your expressions this entire time.

Your eyes softened when you saw his face for the first time since he’d stepped behind you, tears of pleasure completely slipping out now despite his unreadable expression. His eyes were dropping to your lips and less than a second later he was pulling you in for a deep kiss. The kiss was a direct opposition to the way he was ramming into you, soft and gentle as he held your cheek to stop you from turning your head straight again.

You melted into his touch, completely forgetting about the addicting feeling of him pushing against you as his tongue slipped softly into your mouth and you desperately tried to take him deeper.

“You like it?” He was whispering into your mouth and you nodded immediately, trying to stretch and pull him into the kiss again but he didn’t let you and you whined softly. “Tell me you like it, tell me I make you feel good.”

“You make me feel so good.” You were crying out in stuttered gasp as he rammed into you with a few particularly hard thrust, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of him pressed against your swollen clit and the familiar feeling in your stomach building up.

“Make you feel better than anyone else right? I know how to please you, don’t I?” He was saying it in a low steady voice but you could tell he was genuinely searching for the reassurance and not just bragging about his abilities. Your heart clenched at the reminder of your conversation and how he might be feeling right now but you nodded quickly.

“Only you Hee, only you.” You were mumbling back to him in a fucked out voice and he finally kissed you again, wet and sloppy before he was letting go of your face and sliding his hand down your stomach.

Your stomach tightened up at the feeling of his fingers against you again, paired with the stimulation of his cock rubbing into you slowly. He was rubbing your clit gently and kissing you at the same time, messier now that he wasn’t holding your face in place and you could barely keep yourself focused long enough to control all your limbs.

“Cmon baby.” He was whispering into your mouth and you let out a small sob at the overwhelming pleasure building up, completely relying on him now to hold you up. “Go ahead and cum for me sweetheart, it’s alright.”

His words were so gentle despite the roughness in which he was still handling you and the combination of that, mixed with his low voice in your ear, quickly sent you over the edge. His fingers weren’t moving off of you as you came, dipping lower between your thighs to better feel the wetness dripping out of you and you were worried you’d complete collapse from the ecstasy of him touching you like that.

He held you up like that for a few beats and let you catch your breath before he was gently lifting you up and placing you on top of the towel that was on the counter for the wet dishes.

You watched him with hooded and tired eyes as he helped tie back up your top and pull your bottoms up over your sensitive core. Pausing awkwardly when he wet a rat and gently wiped down your thighs and stared at the marks he’d left on your hips and waist.

“Hee.” You were muttering out and he automatically shook his head at the sound of you voice, giving you a hurt look that made your heart fall. He clearly didn’t want to speak about it, or even speak in general right now and you felt a bit sick at the fact he was taking such gentle care of you despite the fact you’d hurt him and didn’t give him the same attention last time you’d done something like this together.

You were freezing up suddenly when you heard somebody coming in through the side door, confused why Heeseung wasn’t moving out of the damning position he was stood in between your legs as you watched Sunghoon round into the house.

Your eyes were wide as you stared at him, preparing to explain yourself until you realized he didn’t look extremely surprised. His eyes glanced at yours like he was slightly thrown off but he just cleared his throat and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. “They’re heading up so you might want to go somewhere else.”

He was disappearing to go change as Heeseung mumbled a small thanks, not turning to look at him and you stared down at him in bewilderment.

“You told him?” You whisper yelled and he looked at you when he heard the upset in your voice, watching you with that same unreadable expression and sighing softly.

“He’s always known.” He explained in a casual tone, like it wasn’t a big deal at all that another person knew about your weird situation. You just stared at him in shock as he continued to clean you up softly. “Guess I’m not very good at pretending to not be inlove with you.”

He looked at you after he finished saying the heavy sentence and your face softened slightly, wanting to reach out to him as he took a few steps back and folded the rag up in his hands. You knew he was implying that that was the reason he had approached you just now and your heart hurt at the fact he was still clearly going to be avoiding you.

You could hear the rest of the boys laughing as they came up the stairs and the sound of your dad complaining about their sandy feet on the deck, not bothering to get off the counter and avoid some questions as you watched Heeseung disappear back upstairs where Sunghoon had gone.

——

“But we always have a movie night on the last night.” Sunoo was kneeling on your bed at the lake house, complaining with a small pout as he tugged at the blankets you were currently hiding under. “It’s tradition.”

“I’m really not feeling good guys.” You were groaning and fighting with his grip to try and cover your head back up.

“Jungwon told us to pull out all the guilt tripping tricks.” Riki’s voice was coming from the doorway and you lowered the blanket just enough to be able to glare at him from behind it for bringing up your brother, activating your soft spot that caused you to sigh and release your hold on the fabric.

Sunoo was cheering excitedly and bouncing a little on your bed, standing off of it in a hurry to pull you up and start dragging down towards the living room. You smiled softly at his enthusiasm but it quickly fell off your face when you caught sight of the reason for your hiding.

Heeseung was sitting on the couch, pressed against the arm rest with a bored expression and a large hoodie pulled over his fluffy hair. He wasn’t looking at you but you knew he had heard you coming considering the cloudy expression he had, your own frown slipping onto your face as you looked at him.

The rest of the boys were quickly taking their seats, coming from the kitchen with snacks or the basement with extra blankets and pillows to throw across the floor. You watched them for a bit too long, not noticing until it was too late that they had taken all of the spots except for the one next to Heeseung on the couch.

He seemed to notice this too and his eyes fell on you, guilt in your expression as you looked at him for permission and a small breath of relief slipped out when he gave you a barely noticeable nod.

You were rigid as you sat beside him, trying your hardest to stay still so you didn’t accidentally collide with his legs or side but he scoffed softly before he was sitting up to grab one of the blankets off the floor. You watched him in confusion and he spread it out and placed it over both of you, shifted his body so you had no choice but to lean towards him and your heart raced at the fact you were pressed against his side.

You figured he was going to ignore you for the rest of the trip, possibly for the rest of your time back in town just to clear his head of you, so you were touched that he was still hellbent on you being comfortable even when you weren’t talking.

He glanced over at you as the movie started to play and you gave him a small smile, barely seeing him return it before the lights were flickering off.

The first half of the movie went as normal despite the fact you couldn’t seem to focus with the feeling of Heeseung breathing beside you. Jay was on your right but he’d fallen asleep almost as soon as the lights had gone out and you could hear him snoring softly from where his head was laid back against the couch.

You shifted uncomfortably after about an hour and you could feel Heeseung glancing at you in question before he leaned closer to whisper something in your ear.

“What’s wrong?” He was saying it softly and your face flushed at the proximity and the fact he was talking to you again.

“Nothing… just sore a little bit.” You mumbled back hesitantly, suddenly thinking about the rough way his hands had gripped you yesterday.

He didn’t say anything for a while and you were worried he hadn’t heard you, or even worse he had and was feeling bad about the bruises covering your skin. It wasn’t your intention to bring it up in that way and you were just about to lean forward again to tell him that when you felt his hand sliding over your stomach gently.

You sucked in a sharp breath at the feeling and you saw Sunoo glancing at you in concern, giving him a soft smile and pretending to yawn while you felt Heeseung’s hand sliding across your smooth skin.

You glanced over at him but he was just watching the movie like it was no big deal, like he wasn’t touching you underneath the covers in a room full of people, including your little brother who was laying down on his stomach on the floor in front of you. He wasn’t touching you inappropriately, just softly kneading where the bruises might be but your heart was racing anyways just from being near him.

There was no use in pretending you didn’t have feelings for him, your longing going far beyond kissing him or having him touch you. You’d missed him deeply these past few days of awkwardness, barely getting by listening to him laugh with the other boys or crack jokes with your dad.

It made you feel sick every time his smile dropped when you entered a room, wishing you could say something that would help him feel more comfortable around you that didn’t involve accepting his request at a chance to be together.

“Feel good?” His breath was fanning the side of your face as he spoke into your ear and you stiffened up a bit despite the lack of tease in his tone.

“You can’t say stuff like that.” You warned him in return and when you pulled back you saw that his eyes had darkened in realization, understanding your squirming as his eyes darted to your lips for a second.

He was watching you intently as he rubbed your skin and for a moment you thought he was going to ignore your comment, going to just keep caressing the injuries he’d caused and not address the implication of your words. Then his hand was leaving your side and slipping into your shorts and your mouth parted at the feeling of his fingers pressing against you.

He held eye contact with you as he dipped a finger between your wet folds, rubbing slightly and leaning forward so he could breathe in the small gasp you let out. You instinctively leaned forward to capture him in a kiss but he pulled his head away and glanced around to make sure nobody had seen your mistake.

You’d almost completely forgotten you weren’t alone and your heart sunk for a second before he was applying more pressure against you and you decided you didn’t care. Your hips were rolling forward against his hand and he eyed you with slight warning, using his other hand to try and hold your body still.

He gently took your leg and pulled it across his lap so you were completely spread open for him, rubbing in soft circles for a few seconds before he was sinking a finger deep inside you and curling it up. You would’ve lurched forward if it wasn’t for his hold on you and you quietly leaned your face into his shoulder to muffle the moan that ripped through your throat.

All you could focus on was him, his scent from his hoodie that you were burying your face into it and his large hands moving you around effortlessly. He was pushing another finger in before you had any time to prepare and you rolled your hips again to try and pull him in deeper.

You could feel his hard cock underneath your leg now and you shifted it so it fell directly against him, listening to the way his breath hitched. You were thankful the boys had picked such an action packed movie, reaching its climax and the volume was blaring with loud crashes and explosions.

You wet your lips instinctively, overwhelmed with the desire to kiss him and he noticed the movement, eyes flashing to your lips and then back up to your eyes. You felt completely addicted to him, willing to let him drag you out from the under the covers and fuck you raw right here if that’s what he wanted but he was quickly bringing you back to reality when he was taking his hand away from you.

You felt completely empty and cold as he stood up from the couch within seconds and disappeared upstairs, not sparing you a glance as your eyes widened in shock and you did nothing but watch him leave.

“What happened?” Your brother was turning his head to look at you in confusion and you felt a wave of embarrassment before remembering you were covered by the blanket.

“I don’t know, he said he felt sick.” You quickly lied and Jungwon’s eyes flashed with worry as he glanced back towards the stairs. “I’ll go check on him.”

He gave you a soft smile and a nod before turning back to the movie with interest, not knowing that your stomach was turning uncomfortably as you adjusted your shorts and scurried your way up the stairs and in the direction Heeseung had gone.

You threw open the guest bedroom door when you got up there and found him pacing in upset, hands running through his hair and he froze and shot you a sharp glare when you came inside. You shut the door behind you and looked at him in confusion, taking a few hesitant steps in his direction.

“What wrong? What happened?” You were asking him softly and his expression only darkened with more anger at your gentle confused tone.

“Why the fuck are you doing this?” He was spitting out and your face fell at the hurt in his words, shaking your head to indicate you didn’t understand which only seemed to upset him more. “You said we can’t be together. You said that.”

He was pointing an accusatory finger in your direction and you took another step forward, slightly surprised when he didn’t walk away or tell you to stop approaching. His face twisted up when you got closer however and you were worried he might start to cry.

“You know why I said that.” You were telling him earnestly and your head felt dizzy from how confusing this all was. “It’s not… it’s not because I don’t want to or because I don’t like you. You know that, don’t you?”

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and your heart shattered at the realization he clearly didn’t understand that. You felt guilty for not saying it outright and for letting your fear hurt him this bad, your selfishness continuing to let him close physically despite the emotional barrier between the two of you.

“I like you Heeseung.” You were telling him firmly and your hands were reaching up to cup his face, his eyes softening as he instinctively pushed his head into your touch and his hands came up to hold onto your wrist softly. “That isn’t why we can’t be together, it has nothing to do with it.”

He looked sad again at the reminder that you weren’t willing to give this a real chance and you expected him to strike up a rebuttal, to try and convince you again but he didn’t say anything. He was just pulling you into a soft kiss and your hands slowly fell off his face as you leaned into it.

It felt like everything was made right the second you were kissing him again, that terrible feeling disappearing from your stomach and you relished in the comfort and safety that overwhelmed you as his hands held your back gently and kept you against him.

He was pulling back after a bit and your eyes fluttered open in confusion as you looked up at him. “Tell me you can go without it. Tell me that you’ll be able to go back to normal and never touch me again once we get home, and I’ll leave you alone forever.”

His words hung heavy in the little space between your bodies and you knew he already knew your answer without you saying. You knew he had realized the way you crave him, not nearly as long or as tragic as he did for you but it was there and overwhelming. He was simply asking you to say it, to lie to him and give him the answer that he needed to be able to stay away from you.

Your eyes were watering and his hands were gentle in the way they wiped your tears, always gentle even when you didn’t feel your deserved it from him.

“I can’t.” You were repeating the words you’d said on the deck in a broken whisper but this time they didn’t make his face crumble. This time you watched the relief pass through his eyes before he was squeezing you softly and pulling you back up for another deep kiss.

You felt overwhelmingly anxious at the thought of giving it a go, of having to tell Jungwon and risk disappointing him or worse and having to cross that heavy line with Heeseung that you wouldn’t be able to come back from, but you realized that you’d already crossed it the moment you opened the door and saw him again.

So you let Heeseung kiss you in excitement and you giggled into his mouth when he lifted you off the ground for a little spin, unable to contain himself after years of pining and wishing to hold you close like this. You still felt that guilt for not noticing his feelings sooner but you were relieved to know you could make up for it now, pulling him in for a deeper kiss and letting your worries disappear for the time being.

They came back full force the next day when you decided to tell Jungwon before you headed home again.

You didn’t want him to find out on accident, not thinking it was fair for him to walk in on you or somehow just understand from the way you looked at each other. He deserved to be told directly and that’s what you kept telling yourself as you stood in front of the room he was using. Heeseung had offered to come with you to take half of the reaction on himself but you knew it needed to just be you and your brother.

He was smiling at you happily when you pushed the door open slowly but it fell slightly when he noticed the worried look on your face.

“Can we talk?” You were muttering to him and he nodded immediately, taking your hand gently and leading you over to sit on his bed with him. He turned his body to face yours and give you his full attention and your heart swelled from how sweet he always was.

“Are you okay?” He asked in a soft voice and you nodded, hesitating as you tried to think of how to word this in a way that wouldn’t completely take him off guard. “Is this about you and Heeseung hyung?”

Your eyes were widening immediately, your hand coming up to cover your mouth as you looked at him in complete surprise. He was still watching you with a gentle worried expression but his mouth quirked up slightly at your reaction to his sudden statement. You dropped your hands back into your lap and your eyebrows furrowed.

“You knew?” You rushed out and he laughed softly before nodding, glancing down at the bed before he was looking at you again and shrugging softly. “How long have you known?”

“I mean.. sorta forever.” He was wincing as he said it in anticipation for the second gasp you let out, followed by a groan as your head fell into your hands. “He used to ask me to marry you like every other night… it took me longer to realize you liked him back but it was bond to happen. I was kind of hoping it would stop you from moving so far away honestly.”

“Wait.. are you saying you thought I liked Heeseung all the way back in high school?” You were cocking your head slightly in bewilderment and now it was his turn to stare at you in confusion, clearly misunderstanding the timeline.

“I mean, yeah. Didn’t you? You’d always talk about him and complain about the stuff he said to you but anyone could tell you thought it was funny.” He was smiling as he spoke, reflecting back on it and you stared at him like he had three heads.

“So I spent this entire time terrified about you finding out, and you knew the entire time?” You were saying it slowly but when he gave you a nod of confirmation you reached forward to shove his shoulder softly.

He laughed at your upset but then he was taking your hand in his and squeezing it, lifting it slightly to bring your attention back on him so you could see how serious he was. You watched your little brother with a new sense of calmness now that he knew and you felt relief running through you as he spoke his next statement.

“As long as you’re happy, I don’t care.” He was saying and you could feel the truth behind his statement, tears springing to your eyes at how sincerely he was telling you this. “Regardless if that means moving far away for school or.. kissing Heeseung.”

You laughed softly at the way his face curled up in disgust at the last part and he smiled before you were pulling him in for a tight hug, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and being extremely grateful that the universe had given you the most understanding little brother to ever exist.

After a few more teary embraces, you were leaving him to finish packing up and heading back to your room. Before you went down the entirety of the hallway, you paused and took a few steps backwards so you were stood in front of a different door instead.

Your heart was pounding slightly and you knocked softly on the familiar wood, standing there and shifting in place as you waited for him to come and answer the door. You’d seen him in a similar way hundreds of times, telling you dinner was ready or showing up at your house to play video games, hundreds of times you’ve opened a door to see his smiling face looking back at you with that same look in his eye.

And now it was time for you to return it, one hundred and one.

Your heart was pounding slightly and you knocked softly on the familiar wood, standing there and shifting in place as you waited for him to come and answer the door. You’d seen him in a similar way hundreds of times, telling you dinner was ready or showing up at your house to play video games, hundreds of times you’ve opened a door to see his smiling face looking back at you with that same look in his eye.

And now it was time for you to return it, one hundred and one.

-

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˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ HYPE BOY MASTERLIST ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

━━ during your trainee days at fnc jongseob had declared war to you when you accidentally put a can of glitters in his hat but after a while he started noticing that you weren’t around to tease anymore that is until he sees a poster of you in soul’s room and apparently you had debuted under a whole other company while not even telling him goodbye even though he was falling in love with you

pairing: idol!kim jongseob x idol!fem!reader

genre: social media au, idol au, fluff, angst, crack, strangers to enemies to lovers

featuring: wonyoung of IVE (faceclaim), new jeans, p1harmony, sunghoon of ENHYPEN, yuta of NCT, kazuha of LE SSERAFIM, felix of STRAY KIDS

warning: swearing, dark humor

status: ongoing

tag list: open

MAIN MASTERLIST ˚୨୧⋆ P1HARMONY MASTERLIST

## PROFILES !!

anti jongseob club

the jongyn fanatics

athletes assemble

CHAPTER INDEX !!

one |

two |

three |

four |

five |

©cupidsheqrt , 2023.

oh its so good 🥹🥹🥹🥹 i live this sn its so dorky and cute🥹🥹🥹

kim mingyu’s (unhelpful) guide to losing your virginity

❝ you’re telling me that you, Miss Dick Repellent, had sex with Captain Chastity By Choice over here. ❞

PAIRING ▸ kim mingyu x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ smut, fluff, humor, college au, best friends to lovers au, friends with benefits au

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, alcohol consumption, rated m for mingyu, slow burn, he fell first but she fell harder but then he tripped and ate shit, probably the most self-indulgent thing i’ve written, mingyu and mc are both virgins, sexual content, sexual tension, protected and unprotected sex (i would not advise doing the latter), lots of teasing and banter, oral (f. and m. receiving), fingering, wall sex, couch sex, public sex, mingyu discovers what pasties are, soonyoung orders 20 connect fours, they are avid enjoyers of the barbie movies

SUMMARY ▸ after accidentally telling your friends that kim mingyu took your virginity (he didn’t), you’re shocked when he proposes to relieve you of the fabled v-card for good (he does).

PLAYLIST ▸ perfect by one direction • spell by niki • fatal flaw by ellise • give me a kiss by lolo zouaï • step? by bibi

WORD COUNT ▸ 31,273 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ someone (fia) once told me i write too many college aus. i said yeah ur right. and i’m gonna do it again

“BIRDS AND BEES CANNOT PHYSICALLY FUCK.”

You sounded more distressed than informative while you were trying to reason with your longtime best friend, Kim Mingyu. He, on the other hand, appeared visibly worked up over this childish level of argument you two were having.

“It is a metaphor,” he said. “Everyone knows birds and bees aren’t screwing each other up in the trees.”

You still couldn’t wrap your head around it. Hours ago, you had fucked yourself over after Kwon Soonyoung had casually brought up the topic of body counts. After everyone in your friend group went around listing theirs (Soonyoung: 3; Jungwoo: 3; Minghao: 2; Vernon: 5), you accidentally blurted out that your body count actually existed—one, to be exact.

This was a problem because, to everyone’s prior knowledge, you were a virgin.

Keep reading

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JUST BE

PAIRING ➩ sunghoon x reader

SUMMARY ➩ classic cliche bad boy x good girl reader paired for a class project but with a few modifications lol…

WARNINGS ➩ violence, injuries, sexual content, sunghoon is a dick head kinda, heeseung is DEFINITELY a dick head

WC ➩ 18k (almost dethroned skin on skin)

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ so this sat in my notes unfinished for months.. which i never stop a work halfway and im not sure why i did considering this flowed out of me after i picked it up again but it’s NOT PROOFREAD and mainly written at 3am i think you maybe know the drill if ur familiar with me and my work lol.. not my favorite but i like the dynamics and i hope you do too

College was almost too easy for you. You were constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, to get the mean professor or the class with they heavy workload that you ultimately failed when you couldn’t withstand the pressure.

But it hadn’t came and you were feeling extremely lucky that the universe had seemingly spared you, atleast for your first year.

You always took school seriously, maybe too serious according to some of your highschool friends but you felt pride when you got high praise and it calmed you to know your hard work granted better results.

Still, it wasn’t like you had become some grade obsessed monster who didn’t feel emotion outside of the urgency of a deadline.

Quite the opposite in your humble opinion. Another thing you prided yourself on was your constant good attitude. You liked to smile at peers in the hallway and help teachers tidy up after a long lecture. It made you feel good to be kind and bubbly despite the stress that sometimes ate away at you.

So it was almost an impossible sight for you classmates as they watched your current dilemma unfold, the other shoe dropping with a loud smack the echoed inside your head.

“Did you hear me Ms. Y/N? I said your partner for the semester is Park Sunghoon.” Your professor was croaking from directly in front of you, your preferred seating being the first row in the room.

You were sat frozen in your chair, hand gripped around your perfectly sharpened pencil so tight you could feel the wood croaking in your palm. You usual smiley face was blank and stony, zoning out into the space in front of you as you wished for it to swallow you whole.

“It’s not that big of a deal Y/N.” Jungwon, your closest friend, was grimacing as he looked at you, standing infront of you and titling his body so he could peer at your unmoving expression. He was waving a hand in front of your face like he was trying to snap you out of a trance.

“There’s no point in lying.” Your other, and more pessimistic, friend Riki was speaking now and you let his bored tone seep into your ear. “She’s fucked.”

This snapped you out of it, letting out a loud groan and slamming forward onto the table dramatically, Jungwon’s hand coming out just in time to stop you from slamming your forehead onto the hard wood.

“Okay let’s not get theatrical here.” He was sighing through a wince of pain as he wiggled his fingers against your forehead. You slightly lifted it so he could take his hand back before dropping it back down with another groan. “I mean how bad could it be? Have you ever even talked to him?”

You briefly considered these two questions.

How bad could it be? Try absolutely, without a doubt, entire academic career ruining level of bad.

His second question was a bit more difficult. You had technically spoken to Park Sunghoon on multiple occasions but you’re not quite positive he had even realized it was you he was talking to. He had a tendency to not particularly pay attention to the people around him, and especially not their feelings.

The first day you’d spoken to him was actually your first day in general. You’d walked into your first lesson with a bright smile, hair perfectly pinned back and clutching your books to your chest in excitement for new things to learn and people to interact with.

Said books you were clutching didn’t last more than a few seconds in your relaxed grip once Park Sunghoon entered the room, his eyebrows furrowed as he turned the corner before registering you were still standing there in an attempt to pick which seat you wanted. His large frame was smacking into your back and sending you, and all your supplies, sprawling across the floor.

He hadn’t helped you up, or even looked back in your direction to see if you’d been seriously injured.

Your next few interactions weren’t as dramatic or grand scale but you remembered each one and so did your friends, considering you spent months complaining about each and every single time he managed to ruin your perfectly good day.

“Do you remember when he said it looked like she had gum in her hair because she got those new hair pins?” Riki was remarking from your bed behind you, a slight amused tone in his voice at the memory of your angry red face tearing them out of your bangs at lunch.

“That wasn’t nearly as bad as the time he stole her essay idea, and then didn’t even do the essay.” Jungwon didn’t sound as amused as Riki did as he recounted the story. He was a sweet boy by nature, one of things you bonded over at the start of your friendship and he wasn’t the biggest fan of your classmate because of this.

You listened to them talk and felt yourself getting more and more agitated, something that was extremely rare for you to show visibly. You pushed your forehead deeper into the wood desk, wishing it would let you mesh atoms together so it could completely swallow you up.

The bad mood hadn’t subsided by the time your hangout was over and the boys were leaving your dorm, wishing you good luck in talking to Park Sunghoon.

Your current biggest problem was exactly that. Despite being almost certain you’d be doing all the project work yourself, something you didn’t mind considering you held doubt he knew a single fact about the subjects appointed to you , you still felt the obligatory need to extend the offer of working together.

However you were realizing now you had absolutely no idea where to find him. It was increasingly rare these days that he was actually in class, only seeing him sometimes showing up minutes after it had ended and talking in a hushed tone with the teacher. Those days you’d slowly pack your stuff into each neat folder, trying to catch a word of their conversation.

You never had any luck and then he’d be gone again, leaving your nosy curiosity completely unsatisfied.

You imagined you could send him a message on some form of social media but that would require following him first and the thought of him spending even 20 seconds in confusion about your sudden follow before you were able to send an explanation message made your stomach turn.

So you had decided that the next day you’d march into class and sit and wait for him after it had ended, unmoving in your seat and forcing him to communicate with you.

You’d gotten prepared the night before, running over your convincing speech and tightening your ponytail before you entered the classroom with a determined look on your normally bubbly face. Your plans were immediately deterred when you went to sit down and found him already there.

Park Sunghoon was not only in class but he was sat in your seat, manspreading carelessly with an extremely bored expression. You knew it had to be on purpose but you couldn’t recall a time where he’d ever paid enough attention to you to know where your seat was.

You faltered for a few seconds before annoyance took over again and you refreshed your attempt at a look of intimidation. You stomped your way over to the desk and placed your books down on it with a mild slam, wincing at the loud noise you’d accidentally caused.

He didn’t react to the sudden spike in volume but he slowly trailed his eyes from your books up your arms, stopping when he met your gaze to raise an eyebrow.

“I’m Y/N.” You blurted out and you stuck a hand in his direction, attempting to initiate a handshake. “I’m your partner for the semester.”

It was silent for a few seconds and you looked down at where he sat, nudging your hand forward awkwardly like he couldn’t see it directly in front of his face. He ignored it and watched you with an amused look on his handsome face.

“Why are you introducing yourself?” He was finally saying and this took you off guard, the confirmation he knew who you were both surprising you and irritating you further at the implication his previous comments and interactions towards you were intentional.

You huffed and brought your hand back down to your side. “So you know who I am?”

“Row A, always raising your hand. Tight ponytail.” He stretched out the word ‘tight’ and you frowned at the innuendo. “Lacking your usual cartoonish grin but, yeah, I know who you are.”

“My smile is not cartoonish” You were hissing through your teeth at him and he smirked at that being the only thing you could manage to deny, too honest to refute his other claims even when you were frustrated.

He raised his hands in mock surrounded and your frown deepened, an uncharacteristically clouded expression taking over as your worst fears were confirmed. He was going to make this truly difficult, maybe even impossible. You resigned to sitting in the spot next to him, one over from your usual place.

You could feel him looking at you as the professor began talking, sneaking quick glances and sometimes downright staring holes in the side of your head.

For once in your entire academic career, you didn’t participate in class even remotely. You let your worries for the grand picture distract you from learning anything small today, zoning out with your lips in a pout until you noticed everybody packing up. Somehow you managed to fast forward through the entire thing.

Sunghoon was standing at the same time as you and as you made your way out of the room, he stepped infront of you and blocked your path completely. You tracked your eyes up his broad chest to his face and waited for him to add on to your already terrible day.

Instead he was sticking his hand out, similarly to the way you did earlier whilst waiting for a returned handshake. However his hand wasn’t fully open, clutching a small sticky note between his fingers and wagging it impatiently when you took too many seconds to stare at it in confusion. The second it was in your grip he was turning on his heel, out the door before you could speak or read it.

You glanced down at the paper in your hands with furrowed eyebrows, taking a second to decipher what he’d given you so abruptly.

When you finally pieced it together you felt a small surge of hope pass through you, smiling softly as you left the classroom, clutching Park Sunghoon’s phone number in your hand.

——

The little ball of hope you’d been presented didn’t last very long, disintegrating into a handful of nothingness before you’d even really had any time to appreciate its arrival.

You’d swallowed your pride and sent Park Sunghoon a text, very formative and stern in a request for him to meet you at the library before it closed. He hadn’t replied but you knew he had seen it and for some reason you thought he would actually show up despite having no evidence to that fact.

“Still waiting for somebody Y/N?” The boy who worked the front desk at the library was pushing past you with a cart of returned books, finishing cleaning up before he could close.

“Yeah I’m sorry Jake.” You frowned slightly and kept your tone polite, feeling guilty for slowing down his process.

He smiled at you and shook his head like it was no big deal, causing you to smile in return and bow your head slightly in appreciation. You were beginning to think you should just pack up and go to avoid causing him more issue until you heard a throat being cleared from behind you.

You immediately tensed up at the familiarity of it and you turned around in your seat to see Park Sunghoon standing a few feet away, watching Jake walk away with a raised eyebrow and a curious expression.

“You’re late.” You spat at him as your face dropped and you sighed, spinning back in your chair and fidgeting nervously with the opened book in front of you.

“Are you nice to everybody except me?” He was ignoring your nagging and making his way towards the table, surprising you by sitting directly next to you instead of the open seats across. “Where’s that Y/N classic smile?”

You shot him a glare but couldn’t help feeling slightly bad considering what he was saying. It was totally against your nature to be rude to somebody, even people who didn’t treat you the best necessarily.

“I take studies really seriously.” You explained to him, trying to soften your voice “And I don’t have a classic smile I just smile like a normal person, unlike you.”

He looked thrown off by your sudden banter and let out a scoff. “I smile.” He immediately argued.

“No you don’t, you smirk. There’s a big difference.” You were closing the book in front of you and he gave you a mildly confused glance, despite keeping his nonchalant demeanor. “The library closes in ten minutes, I told you that you were late.”

“Can’t you ask your friend to have some patience?” His words confused you for a second before you realized he was referring to Jake.

You scoffed in disbelief and shook your head, standing from your chair and starting to pack your belongings back into your bag. He groaned like he thought you were too sensitive and leaned forward slightly so he was still in your field of vision.

“What did I do now? You’re mad because I said you had friend? Aren’t you like friends with everybody?” He was droning on in a bored tone as he watched you continue packing, waiting for you to take the bait.

“I’m not mad.” You shook your head and gave him a forced smile. “I am simply coming to the realization my semester partner has no care for other peoples time. I wanted to give you the opportunity to actually prove yourself for once during your years at college but it’s clear you’re not interested so I’ll be going now.”

You glanced at him once last time as you spoke and you felt a wave of guilt come over you again at the way he tensed and his jaw ticked at your words. You looked away quickly in shame and gave him a small wave as you walked away, nodding at Jake as he said he’ll see you tomorrow.

——

“You said that?” Jungwon’s loud voice was overthrowing the sound of your upset groan as he rounded his way from the kitchen. “Y/N, how could you say that?”

“What are you talking about man, its Park Sunghoon. I think it’s awesome.” Riki was chiming in from the couch.

You were sprawled across the carpeted floor in dismay, immediately calling your friends over as you rushed out of the library with teary eyes and guilt from your mean comment.

“I love you Rik, but you finding anything I’ve done cool let’s me know it was something terrible.” Your words were half groaned and he looked offended for half a second before nodding in acceptance.

“I’m going to have to change schools.” You were dramatically continuing on, tugging your sweater over your hands and covering your face to mumble complaints through the fabric.

Jungwon was joining you on the carpet now and slowly feeding you a strawberry he had been cutting up, like an animal he was trying to calm down, and giving you a soft shake of his head. “No you won’t have to change schools. You just need to see him and apologize.”

“That’s the problem, I never see him.” You were mumbling around the strawberry and your other hand was anxiously scratching along the carpet in an attempt to self soothe.

“Well I overheard from Jay that’s he’s going to that stupid frat party I’m going to tonight. I’m sure I could get the two of you in.” Riki was chiming in again from the couch and you vaguely heard Jungwon scolding him, mentioning how you’d never been to a party before and never would when you were suddenly sitting up.

“That’s perfect.” The speed in which you sat up startled the both of them and they looked at you with confusion. “I’ll go to the party and apologize.”

“What?” Jungwon was raising an eyebrow as Riki clapped excitedly. “You’re going to go to a party, Y/N what’s gotten into you?”

“Correction Jungwon, we are going to a party.” You were grinning for the first time that day, excited at the idea of having a good night and getting the chance to right your wrongs, not paying any attention to the way all of the color drained from your best friends face.

——

The excitement hadn’t lasted more than a few minutes after entering the door.

The first thing that registered for you, was how much you underestimated what a frat party would be like, assuming it was played up and exaggerated in movies for the sake of entertainment.

Turns out, it was shockingly similar in the way it visibly was out of control and stunk like vomit and cheap beer. Your shoes felt sticky against the wood floors and you tried with all your might to keep a grimace off your face. People were greeting you excitedly, some making drunk comments about your rare appearance at a social event but seemingly friendly in their surprise at seeing you out for once.

The smile on your face wasn’t a good showcase of how you actually felt considering you were slowly getting more and more overwhelmed and the night was barely beginning. You’d almost forgotten why you were there in the first place in your building panic.

Jungwon had stayed close to you the entire night, looking similarly upset and irritated but wearing it openly on his face unlike you who at least was attempting to pretend to be enjoying yourself.

He was practically glued to your back as he shuffled around the main area, avoiding the shoulders of tall frat boys and the elbows of drunken college girls flailing around the dance floor.

“You guys could atleast try to look like you’re not being held hostage.” Riki had at some point wandered away to greet his sporty friends but he was now circling back with a drink in hand as he leaned down to speak to you, an eyebrow raised in disapproval.

You furrowed your eyebrows and gave him your best attempt at a casual expression, nudging Jungwon to do the same awkwardly, both of you dropping into frowns when your friend simply let out an amused chuckle.

“I just need some air.” You were shaking your head and putting your full cup down on the counter behind you, gesturing towards your friends sternly. “Stay with him, I’ll be back.”

You swiftly made your way away from them, ignoring Jungwon mumbling about not needing a babysitter, heading towards the slider door you’d seen briefly earlier.

By the time you’d made it over there and thrown it open, you’d sent hundreds of wishes to the universe that nobody would be out there. It was dark out on the small balcony but from what you could tell, your prayers were answered.

Your hands were touching the cold metal of the railing as you leaned your upper half over it slightly, taking deep breaths and shutting your eyes tight to try to bring your nerves down.

It was easy to be social and friendly in casual spaces like a classroom, quick conversations in the hallways that held no substance or weight came naturally to you and made your head feel lighter after a heavy work load but you’d never been a fan of large dense crowds in intimate spaces.

“Please don’t tell me you’re about to start singing.” You froze at the sound of somebody talking, spinning around to see you had clearly missed the other person leaning against the wall of the balcony in your haste to escape the party.

Park Sunghoon was stood casually, ankle crossed over the other as he watched you from the shadows. Your eyebrow quirked up at the burning red ash hanging off his lip and he shrugged softly at your curious glance.

“Why would I start singing?” You almost snapped the words but reeled your emotions in, remembering suddenly that you were meant to find him and apologize tonight.

“Looks like a disney princess, acts like a disney princess… you do the math.” He was answering like it was obvious and you were regretting your plan for the hundredth time that night.

You ignored his obvious attempt to bait you despite your instinct begging you to ask him what he meant by that, unable to tell if it was a diss or a begrudged compliment. You were taking a step towards him awkwardly with a sheepish expression and his raised eyebrow made another appearance. “Listen Park..”

“Please don’t make me listen to an apology monologue.” He was quickly interrupting you and your mouth dropped open in disbelief, staring up at him with wide eyes. “Consider it forgiven, plus you weren’t exactly wrong anyways.”

He was looking at you intensely but you couldn’t quite place what his expression was saying considering how dark it was, only relying on the reflective light of whatever he was smoking to provide some clarity.

“Great, so I came to this stupid party for no reason.” You were relieved he had seemingly forgiven you despite the awkward tension in the air but now you felt more defeated, having wasted an outfit and an entire night that you could’ve been in bed comfortable and studying during.

You sat down on one of the chairs around the balcony with a sigh, half laying down in social exhaustion. He let out a breath that could’ve been a laugh and then he was moving away from the wall and sitting down in another chair across from you.

He was easier to see now and you scanned his outfit as he rounded into the chair, feeling embarrassed suddenly at his casual attire and tightening your cardigan around your middle to try to hide the obvious effort you applied.

“Are you implying you came all the way to your first party just to see me?” His voice was mocking but not particularly rude, regardless it caused heat to rise to your cheeks. “How’d you even know I’d be here?”

“Riki said…” You were mumbling as you shrugged and avoided looking at him, suddenly realizing how weird your whole plan could seem from an outside perspective.

“Your tall friend.” He was stating in confirmation and you nodded. You were slightly thrown off that he knew what your friends looked like, along with the fact he had either just assumed it was your first party or paid attention enough to know you didn’t go out much.

The two of you didn’t say anything after that for a moment, only the sound of his inhales around what you could now see was a cigarette and the low thumping of music on the other side of the glass door, breaking up the silence.

You were trying not to stare too hard at him but you found it weird he had accepted so quickly the rude things you’d said, sitting out in the cold across from you like you were friends casually taking a smoke break.

Park Sunghoon typically fell pretty high on your list of stress inducers, your other wise easy going days and personality helping you breeze through most weeks without any issues. So it felt beyond strange to be finding comfort in the silence that came alongside his presence.

It didn’t last long however, only extending around ten minutes before there was loud banging against the slider door. Sunghoon didn’t move, just carelessly glancing over but you jumped up out of your seat and smoothed down your dress.

Riki was standing on the other side of the door, his fist pressed against it from where he’d just been slamming on it. His sharp eyebrows were furrowed in irritation and you gave him a confused glare before he was gesturing over his shoulder to where Jungwon was currently in the middle of the dance floor.

“Oh wow.” You heard Sunghoon breathe a laugh from his spot in the chair, the sight of your usually uptight friend dancing around with a sloshing cup, throwing the both of you off. “That’s probably not good.”

“Yeah.” You let out in a rush, glancing back at him and then towards Riki again apologetically. “I should probably go.”

You’re not sure why you said it, feeling immediately embarrassed when he gave you an amused look and shrugged his wide shoulders like he didn’t require you to say goodbye to him.

You were stumbling away from the porch in a hurry before you could embarrass yourself more, the loud noises of the party immediately hitting you once you slid the glass open to join Riki in an attempt to get Jungwon home.

——

Your normal schedule was already in a complete disarray and you were one more mishap from breaking down, quickly moving through the halls with your backpack clutched to your chest so it didn’t smack against your back as you ran.

“Hi Y/N.” Jake was greeting you casually once you made it to the library, an hour past when you normally liked to be there. “Rough morning?”

You glanced at him from where you were bent over, hands on your knees and you tried to catch your breath. You gave him a small smile and nodded your head, sitting up slowly and placing a book down in front of him gently on the customer service desk.

“Any good?” He was smiling at you as he scanned it, placing it in his return pile and leaning forward on the surface so he could focus in on your response.

“Not sure if it’s your taste but I liked it.” You shrugged at him and you grinned and he nodded his head in understanding, glancing behind you momentarily.

“Your scary friend has been waiting for you I think, by the way.”

You were turning as you spoke, shaking your head at him in amusement. “Riki isn’t scary, he’s just…”

Your words trailed off as you followed his line of sight and quickly realized who he had been referring to. Park Sunghoon was sat at the table nearest to the entrance, leaning back casually and playing with his pen, his classic raised eyebrow as he watched you and Jake interact.

He didn’t say anything but he looked slightly amused at the way your mouth dropped open in surprise, faltering completely.

Giving a smile to Jake and a small wave, you hesitantly made your way over to where Sunghoon was sitting and placed your backpack down on the chair across from him.

“How’d you know I’d be here?” You questioned him with a slow tone and you watched his expression to see if he’d be annoyed at your lack of greeting.

“Library boy said he’d see you tomorrow.” He shrugged like it was an obvious thing to pick up or care about. “And it’s tomorrow.”

You gave him a questioning stare that he held without any issue, slowly sitting down in your chair and trying to decide what approach to take to such a strange conversation. You hadn’t expected to see him again, surely not as soon as you currently were and not in the library.

“Would you rather me have not shown up?” He was cocking an eyebrow at you and you stared at him for a few seconds, trying to decide if he was baiting you into another argument or if he was genuinely trying to understand your current thought process.

You weren’t exactly sure how to answer his question, grateful he had shown up despite your previous out burst but also feeling extremely awkward after your weird interaction at the party. You’d had plans for what to work on today, a list of precise details and assignments you needed to complete, but your mind felt completely blank now looking at him.

He shifted in his seat and you realized you hadn’t answered him yet, clearing your throat quickly and offering him a small smile and a brief nod.

“I’m glad you showed up Park. We have a lot of work to do.” You were chirping out and he scoffed out a laugh at your sudden bright tone, putting back on your usual nice tone and expression. Your eye twitched at his disapproving laugh but you attempted to keep your cherry mood as you pulled open one of your shared classes textbooks.

You could feel him staring at you as you did so and your hands suddenly felt stiff and clammy under his watchful eyes, your movements awkward and clumsy.

“Do I make you nervous or something?” He was suddenly speaking again and you froze where you were bent over to reach the floor and dig through your backpack.

You sat to swiftly to glare at him, fixing your hair when it shifted forward into your face and he smirked slightly again at the familiar look returning to your face. He was leaning back in the chair casually and his arms were crossed as he looked at you, jacket pulled tight on his arms.

“Why on earth would you make me nervous Park.” You were whispering to him but the words were forced and rough, leaning forward with tour elbows on the table.

“Scared maybe?” He was shrugging like it was obvious and you gave him a confused expression, not sure where he would’ve gotten that idea from. “Just assuming considering your guard dogs have been staring at us this entire time.”

“What are you-“ You were shaking your head and trailing when he was lazily glancing over your shoulder as an explanation. You whipped around in your seat just in time to see two familiar faces hurriedly duck behind the nearest book shelf. You could hear Jungwon’s voice complaining in a whisper shout that Riki had bumped him on accident.

You were turning back to the table and groaning loudly, a sound you rarely made outside of your friend group and Sunghoon’s face almost twisted in surprise. You put your head in your hands and avoided looking at him in embarrassment.

“They’re psychotic.” You were announcing, your voice muffled by your sleeves and hair.

“They’re kind of funny.” Sunghoon was saying it like he was reluctant to admit it and you picked your head up to look at him in surprise. His expression remained neutral, as always, as he looked at you. “You guys should come to my friends party this weekend.”

Despite seeing him at the last party, it completely threw you off to hear him so casually mention going to one. Then it dawned on you that he was not only mentioning it, but inviting you and your friends and you completely flushed.

He was still just watching you with that same blank stare and you suddenly felt extremely nervous at his proposition. You didn’t take him as the party type, and you also didn’t know he had friends in the first place let alone ones who were social enough to throw parties. You were shaking your head before you even processed doing it and his eyebrow cocked again.

“We don’t really… party much.” You were awkwardly mumbling out and he gave you a disbelieving look.

“The little one sure seems to.” He responded quickly and you were confused for a second before remembering he had also been a witness to Jungwon’s adventure last time, the sole reason your conversation on the deck had been cut short in the first place.

“Do you always know this much about people?” You changed the topic to try and distract him from the fact you had completely lied about your friends recent habits, sliding your elbows further on the table so you were leaned over it a bit and giving off the impression that you were interrogating him.

For the first time since you’d met him, he looked slightly startled at your sudden statement. His responses were normally quick and witty but he didn’t say anything for a few seconds, watching you with a small hint of bewilderment on his otherwise stiff face.

“No offense but.. I didn’t know you even had friends.” You felt bad for making him uncomfortable and you quickly tried to change the subject back to his invite, thankful to see the tension leave his shoulders as he scoffed at your words.

“None taken. You wouldn’t know them anyways.” He was shrugging and you frowned, priding yourself on being social and friendly with people all over the school. “Different social circles.”

“Try me.” You were blurting out, determined to prove him wrong and show that you didn’t discriminate about who you were friendly to. He gave you a knowing look but you weren’t deterred, a smug expression on your face as you waited for him to name names.

He waited for a few seconds before sighing and sitting up in his seat a bit. “Lee Heeseung?”

Your shoulders dropped at the unfamiliar name, never having even heard it in passing and his smirk widened. He didn’t name anybody else and you were glad considering your ego was already bruised from the first one. He repeated the fact that you ran in different circles and you watched him curiously as he shifted again, checking his phone suddenly that you hadn’t noticed was abandoned on the table.

“Fuck.” He was mumbling under his breath and shoving the device into his pocket, pushing out of his sweet casually and giving you a quick look. “I’ve gotta go, let’s reschedule.”

“But we didn’t even-“ You were pausing in your objection when he was already turning and disappearing out of the library, your hands raising in bewilderment at his sudden departure before you’d even slightly started to work on anything. You let out a sigh and flopped back in your seat.

You sat there for a few moments on self pity before you heard faint whispers and grunts coming behind you and you groaned softly at the reminder you had an audience. Turning your head slightly to let them know you knew they were there.

“Get out here idiots.”

——

Park Sunghoon hadn’t responded to any of your text messages for the rest of the school week and you were absolutely fuming, not even able to control your expression as you walked between classes.

Students were sending you concerned glances as you marched through the campus, a deep frown underneath your tensed eyebrows, a direct opposite to what your normal expression was. He hadn’t shown up to any classes either so you couldn’t yell at him and release your pent up anger even if you wanted to.

“Jesus Y/N.” Riki was calling from somewhere to the side of you and he quickly matched your stride as he joined you, his long legs easily following along to your fast stomps. “You look like you’re about to kill somebody.”

“Trust me, I would be killing somebody if that certain somebody would come out of hiding.” You were spitting out and turning a corner sharply, having finished classes for the day and deciding to head back to your dorm instead of going to the library.

“I know you said no, but why don’t we just go to that party he mentioned then.” Riki was sighing softly and you could feel him looking at you in worry, more serious than he normally was considering how distressed you’d been as you took on two work loads. “He’s bound to be there right? I just wish it wasn’t Heeseung’s party..”

He was trailing off and you paused in your tracks, his arm bumping into yours at your abrupt stop and he turned back to raise an eyebrow at you in confusion.

“You know Lee Heeseung?” You were rushing out, shifting your books to your other arm so you could raise a hand and poke his chest accusingly.

“I know everybody dude.” He gave you a look like he thought you were stupid for missing the obvious and honestly you kind of were, for some reason only now remembering your best friend was the biggest social butterfly in your school.

You knew everybody, but Riki actively engaged with people and was a casual member of multiple friend groups, especially when it came to filling his weekends with various parties and activities.

“He’s trouble though Y/N, and I mean it.” He was shaking his head with a disapproving look on his face and you furrowed your eyebrows at him. You’d never experienced somebody that your friend didn’t like, the expression on his face causing a weird pit in your stomach to form. “That whole group is, I can’t believe Park is friends with people like that.”

The two of you continued to walk after agreeing to discuss it with Jungwon before making any decisions.

You felt extremely thrown off by what Riki had told you, knowing Park Sunghoon definitely had a reputation and an astoundingly stern attitude problem but you couldn’t imagine him hanging out with a crowd as rough as Riki was warning you he did. He seemed to be full more of teasing comments and selfishness than he was actual problematic behavior but the other part of you was confused why you felt the instinct to defend him.

You sighed softly and shifted your books around in your arms, pushing it deep into your mind for now.

——

“I’m telling you, I really have a terrible feeling about this guys.” Jungwon was leaning down to whisper into your ear as you stood in the small line outside the house the party was in, loud music already pouring out and deafening your surroundings despite the fact you were barely on the front lawn.

You glanced over at Riki to see him carrying a similar worried expression, unusually tense as he glanced around at the area you were in.

The energy was vastly different than the last party you’d went to, the same going for the attendees. Most seemed like they were a lot older than you and your friends, carrying a strange look in their eyes and regarding each other with tensed conversations that bordered on arguments.

Your sick feeling from earlier had returned full forced and you tugged on the sleeves of your sweater anxiously, regretting that you had followed Sunghoon’s lead of a casual outfit like he wore last time. Most the women at this party were anything but casual, wearing very little clothing and carrying themselves with a maturity you couldn’t even fake.

“We can be in and out, I promise.” You were tugging them down more to your level to whisper, a heavy guilty settling in at the fact you’d even brought them along. “I’ll find him and tell him to get his stuff together, then we can go home and watch Spider-Man.”

Your friends gave you soft encouraging smiles but their shoulders didn’t lose any tension and neither did yours, only growing more nervous when you were finally passing through the doorway. The three of you moved in unison over to the kitchen area and you turned to them once you reached somewhere that felt somewhat neutral.

It was small enough that nobody was actually hanging out in there, simply giving you strange looks as they passed by to refill their cups.

“You guys stay here and I’ll go and find him.” You were sternly telling them and Jungwon’s face curled up in disapproval.

“Are you kidding me? No way we are letting you walk around out there by yourself.” He was shaking his head and you deflated slightly, knowing the sight of you and your friends approaching to scold him would do nothing but drive Sunghoon further away from you and your overload of assignments.

“If I’m not back in 20 minutes, come and find me.” You were telling them as a form of compromising, raising a hand with your pinky stuck out.

Jungwon was sighing but eventually complying with your ask, raising his and linking your fingers together in a promise. You glanced at Riki and he gave you a small nod of acceptance, still carrying that dark expression that you weren’t used to seeing.

You were readying yourself before pushing back out into the main are, taking a deep breath and adjusting your skirt before heading back out through the door and scanning the general area.

It only took a few seconds before somebody was bumping into you from behind, sending you into somebody else and this continued for a few encounters before you were catching your footing and getting the memo that standing around like a lost deer wasn’t the right move.

You tried to look casual as you moved through the crowd but you knew your attire and demeanor gave you away upon first glance, possibly even passing for a confused highschooler in the eyes of the weathered people you were stuck in the sweaty room with. You were once again second guessing what you knew about Park Sunghoon, doubt running through your mind that he would take your demand as smoothly as he did your previous outburst towards him.

Luckily you were spotting him quicker than you thought you would, just starting to lose hope that you’d find him at all before you caught sight of his familiar bleached hair and leather jacket.

That familiar anger from earlier was building back up and you pulled your face into a determined expression, not letting him and his mysterious social life scare you off. You marched over to him and aggressively poked him in the back, faltering slightly when he whipped around with a heavy glare.

His face fell when he registered it was you and you figured it was just because he’d been expecting a friend or he was preparing for your lecture, not realizing that he had been mid conversation with a few guys who were smoking behind his back on the couch.

“How dare you Park Sunghoon.” You were starting off strong in your rambles, only slightly thrown off that his eyes were widening and his face was showing the biggest display of emotion you’d seen since you’d met him. You couldn’t quite read what he was feeling however so you decided to continue. “Do you have any idea how exhausted I’ve been this week? Not to mention looking for you absolutely everywhere like a crazy person, just for you to never even bother to show up.”

“Also.. your phone, I’ve been..” You were slowly trailing off, both because his lack of response and the fact somebody was now standing off the couch and approaching the two of you from behind Sunghoon. “I’ve been calling and you..”

“You must be the scholar.” The boy was cutting you off with a strange grin, wrapping an arm around Sunghoon’s shoulder and pulling him in a bit tighter to his chest.

You watched Sunghoon wince slightly and give you a sharp warning look, silently trying to communicate that you had made a mistake. You didn’t need for him to tell you that considering you could immediately feel the energy of the room shift at his arrival, the grin slowly sliding off his sharp face the longer you stared.

“You don’t know how to introduce yourself?” He was saying, a played up disappointment in his voice and he kissed his teeth before turning to look at the side of Sunghoon’s face. “Thought you said your girl had manners Hoonie.”

Your face flushed at the mocking question directed towards you and then more so at the phrase he’d used to Sunghoon. You’d obviously been talked about before considering the nickname he had called you and the implication that Sunghoon spoke on your behavior.

“Well I’m Heeseung.” He was smiling at you, a toothy grin that was immediately dropping back into that lazy smirk. It was similar to the one the boy next to him often wore but it felt a lot meaner, his eyes sharp as they stared down at you analytically. “And you’re Y/N… did you dress yourself Y/N?”

Your cheeks felt red and hot as you instinctively glanced down at your outfit, tugging your sleeves over your hands anxiously and parting your mouth to try and say something. You felt embarrassed at the fact he was clearly making fun of you, something you’d experienced before due to your bubbly personality but never so sincere and nasty.

It got even worse when you realized your eyes were starting to water, not meaning to cry but the overwhelming humiliation activating your fight or flight. You glanced at Sunghoon and he was watching you with a heavy look that you didn’t understand.

“Is she mute? You didn’t mention she was mute Hoonie.” Heeseung was squeezing his shoulders again and Sunghoon was finally moving a bit, shoving his arm back so the other boy wasn’t holding onto him anymore. He glared at him but still didn’t say anything, certainly not coming to your defense. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing sweetheart, it’s actually kind of sexy. The whole pathetic virgin look you have going on.”

He laughed softly as he spoke but you knew he wasn’t attempting to make a joke, his eyes scanning up and down your frame with an expression you’d never seen somebody have before. You couldn’t tell if he was actually considering you lustfully or if it was pure disgust in his eyes.

“Leave her be man.” Sunghoon was finally speaking now, a soft sigh accompanying his words and he nudged his friends arm softly.

“Sunghoon said you’ve been on his ass for days.” Heeseung was completely ignoring him and continuing, not even sparing the other boy a glance and keeping his stare firmly locked on your frame. “Hitting him up constantly like some clingy bitch of a girlfriend.”

You shot him a hurt stare but he was avoiding looking at you now, his eyes on his shoes or past your head as his friend continued to berate you. You looked back at the unfamiliar boy and shook your head softly, feeling some of your hair loosen from your pins and a tear finally break loss and stream down your cheek.

You hurriedly wiped it with your sleeve and Sunghoon’s head shot back up at the movement, face crumbling for a second before hardening back up when Heeseung glanced at him to see his reaction to your tears.

Something was bumping into you from behind and you were starting to turn and apologize, planning to use the distraction as a way to disappear from the terrible interaction when you realized who it was pressing against you.

Heeseung was immediately smiling again at the sudden arrival of your friends but Sunghoon tensed more, like he knew their presence would upset his friend even further and escalate the situation. Heeseung didn’t look at all deterred by the fact Riki was a lot taller than him, or the deep glare that Jungwon was sending him from your side where he was grabbing your arm softly.

“It’s been 20 minutes.” Your youngest friends voice was resounding from behind you, his tone lower than normal and you could feel his chest rumble against your back. “We have to go.”

You nodded your head even though you weren’t facing him and your hand instinctively came up to wipe your face off again. Jungwon was stood rod stiff next to you and radiating an anger you’d never experienced from the gentle and mature boy.

You considered saying something to Sunghoon, even as small as letting him know he was off the hook and didn’t need to help you with any assignments. One look at him told you that would be a mistake, understanding now what his harsh expression when he saw you had meant.

Heeseung was still making comments as the three of you turned to leave, whining about how the fun had only just started and other things that you tuned out as you let out a small sob and let your friends guide you through the crowd.

You felt embarrassed to be so upset over a few mean comments but you couldn’t shake the feeling of disgust that washed over you at his words and nasty stare, wiping your tears again and feeling the way one of your friends hands tensed against your arms at the movement. You felt guilty for dragging them out of their dorms for no reason, not even succeeding in getting your partner to cooperate.

“Y/N.” You could hear your voice being called as the three of you pushed out into the lawn but you ignored it when you realized who it was. “Please, just wait a damn second.”

You stopped abruptly because your friends did, Riki immediately turning around and approaching the boy in an agitated manner. You watched him press his chest close to Sunghoon’s in a challenge and you silently pleaded that he would be smart enough to not start a fight where you knew nobody and Sunghoon apparently had social ties.

Sunghoon paid the younger boy no mind, quickly giving him a unbothered glance before looking over his shoulder towards where you were standing and holding onto Jungwon.

“Two minutes.” He was requesting and his eyebrows were pulled forward in a serious expression, waiting for your answer. “Please.”

The rare use of the word from him made you feel hesitant to say no and you sighed before approaching them slowly, softly touching Riki’s arm and whispering for him and Jungwon to go down the street a bit and call for an Uber home.

You watched them as they walked away, both sending you concerned looks over their shoulders as they got further up the street and you tried your best to give them a reassuring smile. When they were far enough that they wouldn’t be able to hear your conversation, you turned back to Sunghoon and sniffled softly although you’d almost stopped crying by now.

“Let’s just get this over with then.” You were hurrying out, shaking your head and avoiding looking at him.

You imagined you looked like a complete mess, contradicting your typical put together demeanor. You’d taken your hair pins out and you could feel it getting messier as you kept running your hands over it, face red and puffy from being upset.

“I know I’m annoying and pushy, and I probably texted you too much but I was just freaking out with how much work we had to do and I didn’t know how to get ahold of you.” You were rambling off and pulling at your sweater uncomfortably, still not looking at him even though you could see he was taking a step forward.

“You shouldn’t have come here.” His voice was saying and your head shot up to glare at him in confusion, not caring that his expression was still pretty soft and not angry.

“Need I remind you that you invited me, asshole.” You spat at him, raising an accusatory finger but you didn’t poke his chest like you normally did.

“I shouldn’t have, it was stupid of me.” He was shaking his head and sighing, looking past you for a second before his eyes were shooting back. He never seemed to have an issue with staring (or glaring) at you but something about your puffy eyes and furrowed eyebrows was making it hard for his gaze to stay locked on your face. “My phone… it just wasn’t on and I didn’t think you’d come since I didn’t answer.”

You didn’t say anything for a few seconds, not really understanding why he was explaining himself to you considering he clearly wanted nothing to do with you and he’d never cared about your opinion on anything before.

He was just watching you with that same weird expression he had inside, almost compassionate but still guarded and heavy with something you couldn’t name and frankly, didn’t want to. You’d decided it was best just to leave this situation alone, Heeseung’s mean words still ringing in your mind louder and louder every time you looked at Sunghoon’s face.

“You don’t need to tell me this. It’s not like we’re friends or anything.” You were telling him and you stared at your shoes so you didn’t need to see his reaction to your words.

He didn’t say anything for a few beats and your eyes flitted back up swiftly to see why he had gone silent. His jaw was clenched now and he’d lost the expression that was making your stomach hurt, returning back to being hardened and emotionless.

“Yeah you’re right. We aren’t friends.” He was saying it with finality and your chest ached despite being the one to originally say it, his tone a lot more sincere than yours.

You expected him to just give up on the conversation and walk away but he was just standing there as he watched you, eyes darting around your disheveled hair and the way you were still continuously pulling at your sweater sleeves. You eventually couldn’t stand the tension anymore, along with the fear Heeseung would come looking for his friend sooner or later.

You took a deep breath before giving him a small sad smile, turning on your heel to go and find your friends.

——

“You should’ve just taken the day off Y/N.” Jungwon was whispering to you the next Monday, seated beside you in your shared class and sending you concerned glances every few seconds.

He’d been saying this since the incident at the party, telling you it would be best if you took a sick day before coming back to school. Especially to the classes in which you shared with Park Sunghoon.

You’d been ignoring his warnings, never missing a day before unless it was absolutely unavoidable and you didn’t plan to start because some boy had hurt your feelings a few days ago. You were wearing your usual attire and sitting up straight in your seat, smiling at everybody who entered and refreshing your perfume between lectures.

Besides, it wasn’t like you actually had any plans to run into the reasons for your upset. Heeseung didn’t actually attend your school, you’d quickly found out by pretending to be tutoring him and asking the administration office for his dorm number, and Sunghoon might as well not have considering he never seemed to actually show up anymore.

So you felt a bit thrown off, and regretful that you hadn’t taken your best friends advice, when you were walking into your next class alone and immediately being hit with the familiar sight of his bleached hair.

Not only had he come to class for the first time in nearly two weeks, but he was sat front and center in the seat beside your usual one. You’d faltered completely at the sight of him but before he could notice you in return, you were squaring your shoulders and forcing a bright grin onto your face.

You casually greeted the professor and a few of your peers, complimenting a girls new hair color and giving a small wave to somebody who had wished you good luck on an upcoming project. You weren’t looking at Sunghoon but there was no doubt he’d noticed you by now, the sound of your preppy voice undeniable.

It was nearly impossible to not look over at him once you sat down considering how close he was, his usual manspreading putting his knee far out into the isle so you had to squeeze past it to get to your own seat. You were sure he could feel the back of your legs brushing over his pants and you winced slightly before rushing through the rest of the tight aisle and hurriedly sitting down in your seat.

You cleared your throat and flattened down your hair, fixing your posture and preparing to make it through the duration of the class without needing to interact with the boy.

It was surprisingly easier than you’d expected, although you found yourself unable to focus half the time just from the knowledge that he was so close to you. Still, you didn’t sense the familiar feeling of him staring at the side of your head and he definitely didn’t try to speak to you. You felt bewildered on why he would even show up to class if it wasn’t to confront you or discuss your shared assignments, seemingly just listening to the professor as he rambled on.

Your confusion didn’t stop you from rushing out of the classroom in a hurry the second it was dismissed, breezing past classmates and not giving Sunghoon the opportunity to say anything to you.

——

“How could you possibly forget your phone?” Your youngest friends voice was hitting your ears, albeit muffled considering you were in the familiar position of burying your face into your carpet and letting out low painful groans.

“She was too busy running away from the campus asshole.” Jungwon was explaining, having quickly pieced together what had happened the second you’d crashed through the door in a panic.

Your two friends had already made themselves comfortable in your dorm before you’d gotten there, citing it was more peaceful than their own because you didn’t have a roommate like most students did. You didn’t pay them any mind before sinking to the floor like you’d lost all your bones and telling them what had happened in a series of short carpet spoken phrases.

“So? Just sneak in and grab it before they lock the main doors.” Riki was suggesting it like it was obvious and your head shot up off the floor, giving him a pleading look that he immediately deciphered. “Sorry Y/N, but no way. I’d get in trouble if I got caught, unlike a certain teacher’s favorite.”

“He’s right you know. Nobody would even think twice about you staying at the school late.” Jungwon was adding on from where he was sitting on top of your small bed and you sighed softly, knowing they both had a solid point.

Hence how you found yourself slowly slipping in behind a security guard through the doors to the school, hours after the last students had trickled out for the day and been forced to reside to their dorms or the 24 hour library if they wanted to continue studying. It was slightly eerie to see the area so empty, practicing your scripted explanation in case you were stopped by a less forgiving teacher or the campus security.

You felt a wave of anxiety as you moved through the halls, suddenly realizing the classroom might not be unlocked and if it was that would mean the professor could be right around the corner, waiting to interrogate you about how you’d gotten in.

Attempting to swallow your nerves, you continued towards the room you’d ran out off previously in the day. Park Sunghoon had created another problem in your life and you wished you could find it in yourself to be mad at him, still thrown off by his strange lack of bothering you he’d shown earlier. It was easy to convince yourself that you were just curious about him, nosy by nature and even more so considering how mysterious he tended to be.

You were slipping into the classroom swiftly, not touching the door in case somebody heard its hinges or noticed it had been opened wider. You let out a breath of relief that it had been left open and that the professor was seemingly not there, no sign of his briefcase or paperwork laid out on the desk.

The breath only lasted a few seconds, immediately being ripped out of you when you were suddenly being tugged aggressively backwards and almost losing your balance. You let out a small shriek of panic and surprise but a large hand was quickly placed over your mouth, stopping you from making another sound.

You couldn’t tell who it was that had grabbed you, especially considering they had pulled you into the small supply closet in the back of the classroom and the string light was turned off.

“What are you-“ You had smacked the hand off your face and were just starting to exclaim when a hissed shush was thrown back towards you. You immediately froze when you realized who it was, used to the familiar and aggressive tone.

Park Sunghoon was reaching up to tug on the lights string for a second and turn it on, showing you who he was with a raised eyebrow before switching it off again and shushing you once more. You felt a surge of anger at the fact he had pulled you in here, furthered by the fact that he seemed to think showing you it was him would calm your panic down.

Even more anger resurfaced considering that it actually slightly worked, relieved it wasn’t a complete stranger despite your intense confusion on what exactly he was doing.

“Park?” You tensed up when you heard the professors voice from outside the closet, quickly understanding that they must’ve been having some sort of meeting before you’d walked in and nearly gotten caught.

Sunghoon noticed your stiffening body, considering you were completely pushed up against each other due to how small the closet was. You could feel him looking down at you and you glanced up quickly, barely able to make out his features in the dark but just enough that you could see the warning in his eyes.

You gave him a small nod and his shoulders lowered in relief, knowing you wouldn’t give the two of you up. You weren’t sure if you’d actually get in trouble or not but you didn’t want to risk it, even the idea of the smallest mark on your record making your stomach turn with anxiety.

“That damn kid.” The professor was cursing under his breath and you could hear the disappointment in his voice at the fact Sunghoon had presumably ditched the meeting while he had left the room, glancing back up at the boy to see a strange look on his face.

At first you assumed he had been in trouble and was being scolded but due to the tone of your teachers voice, you imagined now it was something different. Potentially the two of them finally working some things out regarding Sunghoon’s absences and missing assignments.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Sunghoon was leaning down to whisper in your ear and a shiver ran through you at how close he had gotten, flushing at your bodies natural reaction and hoping he didn’t notice.

“I.. I forgot something.” You were rocking forward onto your toes to be able to whisper it back to him and you furrowed your brows at the fact you were giving him an answer anyways, not sure why you felt you had to explain yourself to him.

He was standing back to his full height again to stare down at you and you watched him in confusion before feeling something hard pressing into your stomach. Your eyes shot downwards in a panic and you froze up when you realized he was holding your phone in his hand and attempting to pass it to you in the small space. Your eyes shot back up to his face in surprise before you were grabbing it and slipping it into your hoodies front pocket.

Another voice was suddenly appearing from outside the closet and you stiffened up enough to accidentally stumble in shock, nearly falling backwards and knocking into the various mops and brooms if it wasn’t for the hand reaching forward to steady itself around your waist. You froze at the feeling and glanced up to see Sunghoon staring up at the light and avoiding looking at you, eyes closed for a second in a wince.

He didn’t let go of you however, keeping his hand placed there firmly despite the fact you had regained your balance and didn’t plan on moving again anytime soon.

“Hope you don’t have anywhere to be anytime soon.” He was speaking again and you almost panicked at the fact he hadn’t leaned closer to be more discreet when you realized the conversation taking place outside was loud enough to be undetected if you spoke in a low whisper.

“Well luckily for me the pathetic virgin convention was moved to next week so.” You weren’t sure why you had brought it up, directly referencing what Heeseung had called you and the incident at the party, but you immediately regretted it considering the way his face tensed at the words.

You assumed he was upset with you for starting a petty argument when neither one of you could move or even really voice your actual thoughts upon a certain decibel, growing more nervous when he just sighed and didn’t say anything for a few minutes.

“I don’t know why he said that.” He was suddenly saying and you froze a bit at the fact he hadn’t gotten upset with you, instead sounding almost guilty.

“It’s not your fault I guess.” You shrugged awkwardly and looked at his chest so you didn’t have to see his face, reaching up to push some of your hair behind your ear that was falling forward. “You didn’t know he’d repeat the stuff you said.”

“I didn’t say anything like that.” He was saying quickly, his tone almost offended that you had assumed he did.

“You didn’t?” Your voice was laced in surprise and you looked back up at him with wide eyes, his eyebrows furrowed and his gaze darted around your face at the sight of you staring up towards him through your eyelashes.

“No, of course not.” He was shaking his head and his lip was slightly downturned but you didn’t find it as obvious as he seemed to think it was, never directly being cruel towards you necessarily but also never providing any evidence towards the fact he wouldn’t insult you behind your back. “I like… your sweaters.”

He awkwardly trailed off at the end, pausing between the words like he hadn’t mean to start saying them and he looked back up at the light like he was avoiding the way your eyes widened. You felt your cheeks flush at his attempt to compliment you, his hand against your side tensing like he’d forgotten it was even there and he was instinctively using your soft skin as a stress ball.

“Really? You do?” You were whispering before you even realized it, your curiosity getting the best of you but he tensed again and you understood you probably pushed it too far by asking him to reiterate what he’d said.

The door to the classroom was opening and closing outside the closet and for a second you thought both teachers had left considering the sudden silence but you heard somebody clear their throat and realized the conversation had just ended and you still weren’t able to leave yet.

Sunghoon was suddenly leaning back down towards you and you felt panicked until you remembered you had to go back to speaking into each others ears, much to your dismay.

“Yeah, I do.” He was saying softly and you felt confused for a second before recalling the question you’d asked him, another small shiver running through you at his low tone and confirmation that he was complimenting you. If he didn’t notice before, he definitely did not considering he was still holding onto your side and his hand clenched around you.

The air was suddenly heavy and suffocating, a weird tension settling over both of you at the fact you were pressed so close and he was touching you so intimately like it was a natural thing that happened before, like you hadn’t barely talked outside of petty arguments and your conflict a few days prior.

Nonetheless, you had to communicate somehow and your hands were going up to hold onto his shoulders, both for the sake of pulling him down towards you and being able to prop yourself up with less risk of tilting backwards. Once you were closer to his ear, you were leaning forward and you could feel his heart beating from where you pressed against his chest.

“Why didn’t you say anything then?” You were mumbling hesitantly and he tensed up slightly when your lip accidentally touched his ear, immediately dropping back down to your original height and feeling your face heat up at the contact.

He was looking down at you and you held his stare, a small pout on your face that you didn’t even realize you had. You were thinking back to the party and how silent he had been while you were being insulted, despite not being friends and knowing he didn’t owe you any defense or protection, you still felt weird about the way he had just watched it unfold.

He was sighing and shaking his head, leaning back down towards you and his hand flexed again, pulling you tighter against him as a result of the movement. “It would’ve made it worse if I did.”

You were confused by what he meant but you didn’t want to look up and see his expression again, a lot closer now that he had subconsciously pulled you into him. He was still leaning down towards you and you wondered if he planned to say something else or if he was just sick of constantly bending back down.

Your hands were still around his shoulders, tightening around his neck in a weirdly familiar way to keep yourself from titling considering how close your feet were together in the small

space. You tried to think of a way to respond that would give you some answers without prying too much and accidentally upsetting him again.

“Why do you hang out with him?” You were whispering back into his ear and trying to ignore the fact that you were basically hugging as you spoke to each other.

“He’s family.” He was hesitantly answering after a few beats and you were surprised he had even offered the personal information at all, also understanding why that connection would make the situation more difficult and harder to remove himself from.

You let go of his shoulders but kept your hands on his chest in case you feel forward, not even realizing that his other hand has also come down to hold your side and you had no real reason to be touching him, complete secure in his grasp without the added support. You were able to see his face again now and he watched you with a curious expression, seemingly unfazed by the close contact unlike you and your still red cheeks.

“Did you really say I’d been on your ass? That I was like a clingy girlfriend?” You were a bit embarrassed by the saddened tone to your voice but you were genuinely curious and hurt by the fact Heeseung said he’d been told that, not having any way of knowing about your excessive text if Sunghoon hadn’t told him.

“He saw my phone.” He was sighing and starting to explain but he looked extremely awkward, more so than you’d ever seen him and he was ducking his head closer to yours to remain quiet now that you weren’t whispering in his ear anymore. “I couldn’t let him know we were friends or else he would’ve messed with you… more than he already did.”

You didn’t say anything for a while, just watching him and overwhelmingly aware of how close his face was to yours and how if you were the same height, your noses would’ve been touching. You would’ve thought he either didn’t notice or didn’t care, if it wasn’t for the way his eyes were darting around your face and occasionally pausing on your parted mouth.

“So we were friends?” Was all you managed to squeak out, holding your breath and staring up at him as your lips curled into a small smile.

He was standing blank for a second before a sudden scoff came out of his mouth, an eyebrow cocking at your amusement and you felt slightly relieved at the familiar expression back on his face now. You’d weirdly missed the cocky look in his eye, much preferring it over the hard and vacant one he’d been giving you since you’d fought.

“Maybe we could be if you weren’t always so nervous around me.” He was mumbling back in a teasing tone and your stomach flipped at the slightly flirty hint under his words, never crossing into that territory with him before despite the strange tension always sitting in the back of your mind.

Your breath was hitching at the way he tugged you closer again, his right hand sliding a bit so it was against your lower back instead of at your side and he could keep you flush against him. You watched him with big eyes, confused and slightly anxious at the sudden switch in his demeanor. You felt slightly guilty for immediately wondering if he was just messing with you, preparing to push you away and laugh the second you responded to his passes.

His eyes were suddenly more hesitant looking however, like he was wondering if he had made a mistake due to your lack of response and you realized he was just as nervous as you were, just more skilled at hiding his emotions.

“I don’t make you nervous?” You were whispering to him and he immediately shook his head, staring down at you intensely. Your hand flattened where it was on his chest and you hoped he didn’t see how bad it was shaking. “Not even a little bit?”

You thought, for a moment, that you heard his breath catch in his throat but you quickly discarded that idea. Sunghoon had never shown interest in you before outside of this moment and you figured he was just not thinking clearly due to your proximity and the adrenaline from possibly being caught, still a man in a tight space with a girl regardless if you were meant to be enemies or not.

However, you couldn’t help but think of the fact he’d both managed to compliment you and also seemed to pay a lot more attention to your life and schedule than you’d seen him apply towards other people. He knew who you were before you introduced yourself to him, aware of your closest friends and the fact you didn’t go to parties much.

You thought of the fact he had shown up at the library just off the passing comment Jake had made about seeing you the next day, inviting you to a party with your friends. It had turned out terrible but he’d still invited you, opening the doorway to potentially see each other outside of school and converse in a more neutral setting.

His face was dangerously close to yours as he took in your question, silently urging him to admit that he felt similarly to you when it came to the confusing nerves and anticipation you felt every time he was around. You always felt there was something unsaid between the two of you, pushed aside when you started to bicker or one of you had to leave early.

“Your hearts racing.” He ignored what you had said and you frowned softly, glancing down to where your bodies connected. He somehow seemed even closer once you were looking up again and your eyes widened a bit, wondering if he was intentionally leaning down more or if his body was just instinctively being drawn in.

“I’m scared to get caught.” You quickly answered, lying through your teeth but you knew he knew that. His mouth was curling into a smirk and he squeezed your back again, hips flushed together. “I’m serious.”

“I like when you wear this skirt.” He was retorting randomly and your stomach flipped at the rasp in his voice from whispering, not expecting him to keep changing the topic especially when he changed it to compliment you. You didn’t even realize this was something you apparently wore often, just throwing it on with your hoodie before heading back to the school and not thinking twice about it.

“Do you always pay such close attention to me?” You were asking him back, a hint of confidence at the fact he was continuously proving his interest in what you did. You’d asked him something similar before and you recalled the way he had frozen in the library, not answering you and getting tense at the way you’d called him out.

He didn’t react as extremely now, his face keeping that small smirk as he looked down at you like he had expected you to question his behavior. You were confused by his silence until you realized one of his hands had left your body, only noticing when you felt his fingers playing with the bottom of your skirt. He wasn’t lifting it or moving it at all, just gently guiding his hand alongside the seam and watching you.

Your eyes were wide as you looked at him, feeling strangely vulnerable and nervous as he started to toe a line that you didn’t expect him to even consider crossing. The light flirting was already strange of him but now you could feel his rough knuckles accidentally connecting with the smooth skin of your bare thigh.

“You want me to stop?” He was pausing to whisper once he noticed your panicked expression, eyebrow raising as he studied your face for any sign of rejection or hesitance.

You thought about it carefully for a few seconds, wondering if you were still upset with him enough to tell him to knock it off and then be left to awkwardly stand here until the professor left and you could sneak out. He’d infuriated you since you’d met but you also never denied finding him attractive, especially when he was barely inches from your face and throwing you casual compliments like it was something he’d done before.

When you were softly shaking your head, signaling you didn’t want him to quit whatever he was planning to do, he still waited a few seconds before he was moving his hand again.

You gasped softly at the fact he’d moved it off the hem of your skirt, instead going underneath it and pushing it up more so it was settled in the middle of your stomach and he could grab your side again without having the fabric in the way. You were suddenly glad it was dark because you knew that it was raised enough that it would leave your bottom half completely exposed, the skirt already barely coming up mid thigh and definitely now revealing your underwear that it was pushed so high up on your body.

He paused at the noise you had made, looking like he was thinking for a few seconds before he was using his other hand to cover your mouth and give you that same warning look that commanded you to keep quiet.

You nodded against his firm grip but another squeak came out of you when he was squeezing your side, his hand so big that it covered your entire hip and one of his fingers was caressing dangerously over the elastic of your underwear. He pulled your lower half closer to his again with a small grunt and you watched his expression through your eyelashes as he touched you so carelessly.

His eyes were meeting yours when his hand dipped under the strap on your hip, waiting for you to give a small nod of permission before he was slowly pulling your panties down your body and shifting again so you could rest on top of his sturdy leg.

You made a small cry at the contact, practically sitting on his thigh now completely bare and you could feel his hand continuously stroking up and down the outside of your leg, almost transfixed by the feeling of how smooth your skin was. Your arms were coming back up to hold onto his shoulders so you didn’t have to completely press yourself onto his pants and you suddenly felt embarrassed by how exposed you were.

He looked slightly frustrated for a second and you realized it was because he only had one hand available, still covering your mouth with the other one. You reached up to grab his wrist and remove it, bringing it down to place it against your waist and flushing at the slightly surprised look he was giving you at the bold action.

“If I get loud; kiss me.” You were whispering into his ear suddenly and you could feel him tense at the idea, not sure if he was interested in the thought of it or against doing something so intimate. Either way, he didn’t object verbally and just used his two hands to slowly lower you back down onto his clothed leg.

“Anyone ever touched you before?” He was asking suddenly, glancing at your face with a hard expression and waiting for you to respond. One of his hands was caressing your thigh now, getting closer to your core every time he rubbed it and another shutter ran through you at his low tone and the implication that he was planning on touching you.

“Not there.” You were whispering back and shaking your head, squeezing his shoulder in anticipation and feeling a bit dizzy from the sudden rush of want you felt towards him.

“Tell me where.” His face was still hard as he watched you and for a second you thought he sounded a little jealous at the fact somebody had touched you before, his hand squeezing your side almost painfully and pulling you higher up on his leg.

“Just… just when kissing. H-he was… like.” Your face was completely flushed as you tried to explain to him what little experience you had, only ever having an eager high school boy carelessly grope your chest during a terrible make out session.

He seemed to assume what you were implying and you felt his hand leave your leg for a moment, sliding up under your hoodie and rubbing up your rib cage softly. You sucked in a tight breath and held eye contact with him as his hand reached your chest, tensing his grip slightly and his rough thumb ran over your nipple swiftly like he was testing your reaction.

You bucked forward a bit at the feeling, grateful you hadn’t worn anything under your hoodie but overwhelmed at the feeling of him softly kneading your chest and the fact he was staring down at you emotionless as you slowly got more and more overwhelmed.

“Did it feel good?” He was asking in a low rasp and you almost nodded, thinking he was referring to what he had just done but you paused when you realized he was talking about the other boy. “When he was touching you like this, did you like it?”

You were quickly shaking your head in denial, cringing at the memory of rough hands that didn’t actually care about you or your pleasure. Despite his tough demeanor and personality, Sunghoon’s touch was gentle although unrelenting in the way he continued to squeeze your soft skin.

“Feel good now?” He was muttering and you nodded softly, falling forward slightly against his chest at the feeling and your breath caught again at the way you accidentally pressed harder onto his leg. You were sure you were making a mess on his pants, dripping ever since he started to squeeze your sides and whisper into your ear and you felt embarrassed at the fact he’d surely see it later once you were out of the dark. “Say it.”

“Feels good.” You were quickly repeating, instinctively following his order when you heard how serious his voice was and you imagined he would’ve teased you for listening to him so obediently if you weren’t having to make as little noise as possible.

Speaking of noise, it was becoming an issue for you pretty quickly, especially as his hands went back under your skirt to help you shift your hips against his leg. Between the feeling of him underneath you and his big hands holding your hips tightly. He seemed to take notice of your struggle and he paused to watch you for a second, looking like he was conflicted.

You were about to ask him what was wrong, worried by the sudden apprehension on his face before he was abruptly leaning his head down to kiss you.

You froze in surprise for a second before quickly kissing him back, suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that you really wanted to kiss him. You’d tried not to think about it before, pushing it deep in your mind but he seemed just as desperate in the way his hands were moving again and cupping your face gently.

You both seemed to forget about the fact you were currently sat on his thigh, lost in the kiss and moving against each other at a fast and intense pace. The tension that was in the air felt like it had burst, completely mesmerized by the feeling of kissing him so deeply and you felt less worried about how intimate it felt considering he was keeping your face tight against his.

He leaned back a bit to catch his breath, staring down at you with a strange look in his eyes and you yelped slightly when he was suddenly moving his leg so it was back on the ground. You weren’t pressed against him anymore and you were confused when he suddenly fixed your skirt to cover you up again, thinking he had changed his mind and was stopping.

To your surprise, he was standing back up after helping you get dressed and he stared at you for a few seconds with a wild expression before he was eagerly pulling you back into a kiss. His hands were cupping under your thighs to pull you up higher and you made a small noise into his mouth with how desperately he was kissing you, almost bordering on romantic if you didn’t know any better.

But you did know better so you were slightly confused and thrown off by the way he was licking into your mouth like it was something he craved, holding you against him like he was scared you’d disappear if he didn’t keep a tight enough grip.

You were thinking of pulling back and asking him when you heard the sound of the classroom door slamming shut, both of you jumping in place and freezing. You’d almost completely forgotten you were even in your current situation, so focused on Sunghoon and his touch.

You were glancing back at him to see his reaction but his face was hard again and his hand was coming up to touch his swollen lips for a second before he was shaking his head, almost to himself, and pushing the door open. You were worried for a second that the teacher might still be there but you quickly realized the room was empty when Sunghoon continued to step further into it, offering you a glance back over his shoulder when you didn’t follow.

Still in a daze in the closet, you watched him in confusion. You didn’t understand the switch in his demeanor, his shoulders tense and his eyebrows furrowed as he glared at you like you were somehow the one being confusing.

Eventually, you stumbled out of the closet and attempted to smooth out your hair that he had completely messed up with his touchy hands and eager movements. He was just watching you and you saw him touch his lips again, your own turning down into a frown at the upset look on his face.

You figured you had been right and he didn’t want to kiss you, only doing it to keep you quiet and now regretting it. This confused you considering how into it he had seemed to be, more passionate and desperate than you ever thought he could get and the heavy look on his face when he pulled back to look at you, but you weren’t sure why else he would be so upset now.

“Sunghoon.” You started to say and he tensed at the sound of his name at your regular volume, not used to you calling him anything other than his last name. He was raising a hand to cut you off and you paused.

“Think of that as my apology.” He was saying in a stern and emotionless tone, not looking at you anymore as he spoke.

You felt your stomach turn in a different way this time, heart aching for some reason at the fact he had completely dismissed what had just happened and was implying he’d only done it as a way to say sorry to you. You stood there and stared at him in disbelief, not bothering to mask your expression or how much he had just hurt your feelings.

“Why would you say that?” You forced out, voice weak and you felt embarrassed at how obviously affected you were. He glanced at you at the sound of your voice but then immediately was clenching his jaw and looking at the floor.

He was shaking his head for a second before turning to leave out the door, leaving you standing there alone and trying to bring yourself back to reality. You felt dizzy from the sudden switch of emotion from him and the crash back down from your shared high, feeling like you were very much in need of a hot shower.

——

“You did what?”

You were sat in Jungwon’s dorm, his roommate having went home for some family emergency and leaving it vacant other than your friend. You’d made your way over there as soon as you left the school, not bothering to call first or go to your own room.

He’d swung open the door at the sound of your heavy banging, face coated with worry when he saw it was you and you quickly blurted out what had happened. It wasn’t Jungwon’s voice that was exclaiming however and you sighed when you looked over his shoulder to see your other best friend sat on his bed, jaw dropped wide as he paused mid pizza bite.

You stared at the two of them for a second before bursting into tears, falling forward into Jungwon’s arms and hearing the soft sigh he let out as he pet your head softly.

He gently led you inside and closed the door behind you in case anybody was feeling nosy, sitting you on the bed beside Riki and pulling his desk chair up so he could be near the two of you. You laid your head on your youngest friends shoulder and sniffled softly with a large frown on your face, embarrassed and confused.

“You hooked up with Park Sunghoon?” Jungwon was saying it slowly, like he was making sure he heard you right and you nodded softly in confirmation. “In a broom closet..?”

“What does hooked up even mean?” Riki was asking from beside you and you groaned at the fact he was there, trusting him completely but you came to Jungwon for actual advice and you knew Riki wouldn’t take it serious enough to offer any. “Like you lost your virginity? Can you even do that in a closet?”

“I’m not giving you the details idiot.” You glared at him after picking your head up from his shoulder, shoving his arm and ignoring the complaining groan he let out. “But we kissed and then he got all weird and just ran out, he said it was just his way of apologizing.”

Both the boys went silent after that and Jungwon gave Riki a loaded stare, looking back at your face and then to the other boy again and cocking an eyebrow. Your frustration grew as you watched them silently communicate something you didn’t understand, throwing your hands up in upset until their attention was back on you.

“In words please.” You exclaimed loudly and Jungwon sighed softly before leaning forward so his elbows were on his knees.

“Is there any chance he could like you?” He was asking and you were thrown off by how serious he sounded, even more so considering what he was suggesting. Your face flushed and you quickly shook your head in denial, not understanding where he would be getting that from.

“If I kissed a girl that I liked, that I was supposed to hate because that’s like my whole thing, I’d probably run out of a closet too.” Riki was adding on from beside you like it was an obvious thing and common knowledge and you gave him a bewildered look. He shrugged softly and patted you on the back. “I’m just saying.”

“That’s ridiculous.” You were mumbling but their words made you have a weird feeling, thinking about how intensely Sunghoon had kissed you. He’d completely abandoned the idea of touching you just so he could focus on kissing you gently, far more intimate and romantic than you’d expected from him.

Still, it didn’t make any sense to you that he would have feelings towards you. He’d never been kind to you and you weren’t young immature kids, you didn’t consider teasing and making your day harder a form of flirting and you were sure Sunghoon thought similarly to you.

You left them alone to head back to your dorm after hanging in Jungwon’s for a few more hours, making them both pinky promise to not bring up Park Sunghoon or anything that had happened revolving him.

You were only halfway through the campus back to your room, the sun having set at some point during your hysterical rantings to your friends and you were relying on the street lights on either side of the sidewalk to guide you home, when your phone was ringing inside of your hoodie pocket. The vibration tingled against your stomach and you flushed for a second as you remembered the situation that had resulted from said phone before you were pulling it out.

The name on the screen made you stop in your slow pace, faltering to a stop before you were completely stood still and holding the device up to your ear.

“Hello?” Their was a sharp question in your voice, not expecting him to reach out at all let alone so soon after what had happened but there was nothing but static on the other side. “Sunghoon? Park? Are you there.. I don’t have time for this.”

“My cousins keeper… ever the busy woman.” The voice on the other side was slowly crackling through and your blood ran cold at the realization it wasn’t Sunghoon, the voice slightly less familiar but still recognizable to you considering your previous interaction had been replaying in your mind.

“Why do you have his phone?” You were spitting suddenly and your stomach turned with worry for some unknown reason.

You didn’t know if Heeseung was the type to actually hurt somebody, especially his own family member but you also didn’t necessarily have a lot of faith in him and his questionable morals.

He was sighing over the speaker and not speaking again for a few heavy breaths, seemingly weirdly reluctant to talk to you despite being the one to dial your number in the first place. At one point you were pulling the phone off your ear to look at it in confusion, almost thinking he had hung up with how silent it had gotten.

“I need somewhere to bring him for the night.” He was causing you to jump when he was suddenly talking again and your eyebrows furrowed despite him not being able to see you.

“What? What the hell are you talking about?” You were starting to speed walk back to your dorm now that you’d started to understand the situation, practically jogging through the buildings with your stomach twisting in panic and anxiety at the thought of Sunghoon being in so much trouble he couldn’t pick up the phone and call you himself.

The line was silent for a few seconds before you heard the sound of the call ending, pulling it off your ear again to glance at your screen quickly and letting out a screamed curse at the fact he had hung up.

You still didn’t slow down despite not understanding what was even happening, why you felt the overwhelming urge to return back to your dorm but as you rounded the final corner you understood what the strange feeling in your gut was. You faltered in your step when you saw the body slumped in front of your door, knowing who it was without having to get closer and confirm.

“Oh no, no no.” You repeated a soft mantra of upset as you darted over to Sunghoon, dropping to your knees once you were near him and your hands reached out to grab him before stopping.

You didn’t want to hurt him and he let out a small groan that indicated you would if you touched him, hands hovering over his body and looking around frankly in case his cousin was still lingering around somewhere.

You didn’t see any signs of anybody but you knew Sunghoon couldn’t have been laying there long and they could be just off in the distance, watching you to see what you would do with the boy laying on your welcome mat. Your frown was deep as you finally grabbed on to him, ignoring his mumbled complaints and attempts to swat you away.

It took you a long time to manage to drag him inside, almost contemplating calling your friends for help before realizing what a terrible idea dragging them into this would be.

Eventually, you had him inside on the floor and you hands came up to frantically run through your hair in panic. You weren’t sure what you were meant to do, scanning over his frame to try and determine if he was injured enough to go to the hospital but you couldn’t see the extent of the damage through his layers and you paused as you watched him.

“Park.” You were kneeling back down beside him on your floor and whispering softly, nudging his shoulder with your hand and letting out a sigh of relief when he made a small noise of complaint. “Okay good, at least you’re alive.”

“Are you disappointed?” He was suddenly forcing out and you jumped away from his body in shock, clutching your chest at the unexpected sound of his croaking voice.

His head turned slowly in your direction at the sound of your shocked scream and you took a few seconds to try and catch your breath before you were frowning and leaning forward to shove his arm softly. He let out a loud groan at the feeling of you scolding him but you ignored it and furrowed your eyebrows.

“You idiot, I thought you had a concussion or something.” You spat out at him and you thought you saw his lip curl up for a second in amusement.

“Don’t be so sure I don’t.” He retorted with a wince and you noted his slurred words, leaning in to try and see if you smell alcohol on him. “Trust me, if I was drunk it wouldn’t hurt this bad.”

“What the fuck happened to you Park?” You were mumbling, still leaning over him on your floor and scanning his face to make sure he wasn’t going to lose consciousness mid conversation. You’d definitely have to take him to the hospital if that was the case, still highly considering it judging by how out of it he sounded.

“Family stuff.” He was answering after a prolonged silence and your frown deepened at the confusing implications, reminding yourself to question him more thoroughly later on. “Did I worry you?”

“By showing up at my door like a corpse? Yeah slightly.” You scoffed as you answered him and his lips curled up more, border-lining on the first actual smile you’d seen from him.

“You weren’t home.” He said after a few beats and his voice suddenly went serious again, soft and almost whining at the fact you hadn’t been here when he first arrived. You figured he was only acting this way because he was out of it and not thinking clearly, his hand extending in your direction and twitching a few times being more proof behind that thought.

You stared at it before eventually giving in and taking it in yours gently, feeling the way he immediately squeezed them together in relief and your frown deepened as he looked at you again.

“You always look so sad around me.” He was continuing on and his eyes were going in all directions around your face, having trouble focusing on any specific part. His voice was weirdly saddened and your heart thumped uncomfortably at the fact he was lacking a filter currently. “Not anyone else, with them you’re smiling and laughing. Just around me.”

You didn’t answer him for a while, because you honestly weren’t sure how. You’d become accustomed to that sort of dynamic with him, assuming from the get go that he was no good and out to get you at all times. You hadn’t necessarily considered that your change of behavior with solely him would upset him at all, causing his lips to turn down in a frown.

You’d said before that you never found him particularly mean, just prone to causing unnecessary stress on you and disrupting your typically perfect schedule in a way that caused you to react before you thought.

“I’m not sad around you.” You were eventually saying softly and you found yourself meaning what you said, squeezing his hand and using your free one to push some of his hair out of his face. “You just confuse me.”

He looked like he wanted to say something but his mouth closed after a few seconds and he just gave a small nod, closing his eyes again. For a moment you thought he had fallen asleep before he was suddenly attempting to sit up, catching you by surprise.

You helped him maneuver his way over to your small dorm bed, taking off his shoes once he was laying down and trying not to think about how strange it was to see him in such a familiar space. Not to mention, the relaxed state he was in as he laid back against your pillows and breathed out a sigh of relief once he caught a hint of your scent.

It was hard not to laugh as you watched him, biting your lip to hold it in but occasionally offering him small chuckles when he kept glancing at you with a drunken look on his pretty face. It made your stomach turn to see the bruised adorning said face, his lip cracked and bleeding slightly and you could tell other areas were going to swell after a few more hours.

You wished he was conscious enough for you to ask him what had happened in more detail but you figured he wouldn’t answer you regardless.

His breathing slowly evened out after a few minutes of you trying to get him as comfortable as possible, bringing a cup of water and pain killers to your bedside for him to take as soon as he woke up. You watched him carefully after he finally dozed off and you considered laying on the floor for a moment before you sighed and climbed into bed beside him, figuring it was the least he could allow considering he had shown up on your doorstep so late after running out on you.

“Night Park.” You were mumbling it more to yourself, curling over on your side and trying to avoid touching him as much as possible, letting yourself drift off to sleep.

——

You woke up in a panic at the realization somebody was wrapped around you, completely forgetting your current situation.

You only calmed down when you heard him softly groan in protest, feeling his big hand that was currently thrown over your side, squeeze softly to try and remind you that it was just him in your bed.

Just Park Sunghoon in your bed… half asleep with his arm wrapped around your stomach only a few hours after you’d had an intense make out session in a broom closet. You laid back flat and held your breath as you considered getting out of bed to avoid his touch, stopping when you realized his breathing was quieter now and your abrupt wake up had also taken him out of his deep sleep.

“Sorry.” You mumbled, shifting uncomfortably at the feeling of his fingers flexing against your skin. Your shirt had ridden up in the night and he could feel your warm skin underneath his rough palm.

“It’s okay.” He was whispering back and you felt a bit dizzy at how close his voice was to you, his breath fanning across your neck. You waited for him to remove his hand now that he was more alert, but quickly realized he didn’t plan to when his thumb gently swiped over your hip bone. “I’m sorry too.”

You hadn’t expected to hear the words from him, not sure if he was talking about being dropped off here and interrupting your night or about what had happened in the classroom. You didn’t want to question him, hoping it applied to both and that he genuinely meant it.

He was taking a deep breath when you shifted carefully backwards, letting his chest hit your back and feeling your heart race when his hand was sliding forward to rest gently over your stomach. You were spooning now, far more intimate than you’d foreseen the two of you ever being but you wanted to somehow communicate your forgiveness to him without having to voice it.

“You remember anything?” You asked him carefully, not sure if it was too early to cross that line yet or if he was expecting it.

“Just you.” He whispered back and the words felt heavy, his chest vibrating against your back and your mouth downturned instinctively at the hidden meaning there.

You didn’t think it was completely morning yet, that weird time of the night where the room turned a soft shade of blue and you could hear the birds outside the small room starting to chirp and move around. You and Sunghoon laid in silence for a while but you could tell he hadn’t fallen back to sleep, his thumb still gently caressing your skin as he took deep painful breaths.

“Should we go to the hospital?” You were whispering after a while, voice soft against the silence and you hoped the inclusion of yourself in this scenario didn’t pass by him unnoticed.

“Not yet.” His voice was low and hoarse but it had more emotion than it normally did, sounding almost desperate, like he was asking your permission to stay here in this moment with you. “Let’s just stay here a little longer, just like this.”

His words were heavy again and you weren’t a stranger to the fact that you had a lot of talking to do, healing from the strange back and forth and multiple conversations that would definitely be somewhat uncomfortable. All this was weighing on you for a second after he said it, finding it more in your comfort zone to immediately tackle and issue and find a plausible solution.

You let this habit and anxiety fade away the best you could, understanding that there was time for that later and you didn’t need to pop the bubble you were currently in with him.

Right now, you could be nothing but two people laying together. You could turn off the words of your friends about his hidden feelings for you, set aside his injuries and your longing to understand what exactly had caused them. You didn’t need to be enemies or friends who didn’t communicate to each other properly, you didn’t need to be the person he left behind in the classroom and he didn’t need to wonder why you never looked carefree around him.

For now you could just lay here together and listen to the sound of his breathing, feel it brush against your neck almost in sync with his gentle touch.

For now you could just be.

N

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hi !! i need more stuff to read so pls send some of your favorite one shots, series or smaus !!

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