Chxrryhansen - 𝐋𝐀 𝐕𝐈𝐄 𝐄𝐍 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄

so before you ask, no, nothing is sacred. anyway i’ve been thinking about andy barber’s dad jokes

specifically like. andy barber being the dad you babysit for, and he’s a DILF with the D underlined which means he is constantly cracking these lame ass dad jokes you roll your eyes at.... even though they’re somehow kind of charming despite their awfulness, help?

especially because of the way he does it mostly because his son is still at the age where he loves them

he’ll go like, “what does a bee use to brush it’s hair? a honeycomb :)” and you’ll roll your eyes but then his kid will crack up laughing and andy’s eyes will crinkle with a smile, and you can’t help help but smile too

even when his kid isn’t around though, he’s relentless. like, he catches you feeding his kid’s goldfish and it’s, “what do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” and you let out a deep sigh and barely stifle your half-smile as you say, “i don’t know but i’m sure you’ll tell me” and he responds “sofishticated.” and you groan loudly and he chuckles to himself as he walks into the kitchen. and then you clench your jaw in frustration because even THAT got you a little hot

anyways. of course, andy’s noticed how you get around him. and of course, eventually, he handles that. specifically, late one night when he’s got a rare evening off work and his kid’s in bed and you two are “watching a movie” on his sofa (netflix has been asking if you’re still watching for the entire 30 minutes that he’s been fingering you nice and open for him). it’s around then that andy thinks of another fun little joke, asks you thick and husky, “what do you call the man who keeps your bills paid and your cunt happy?” riiiight before sliding into you, watching your eyes roll back as you whimper, “daddy,” barely having heard his teasing question at all, and he smiles lazily, buries himself to the hilt, calls you a good, smart girl

Warnings: 18+, choking, face slapping, degredation, slight daddy kink

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The sound of locks being turned woke you, your head snapping to your left as you quickly sat upright on the cold floor, your mind whirring at a million miles per hour, trying to rake through memories of how you could have possibly ended up in this mess.

“Rise and shine pumpkin” a male voice called out sinisterly, the door to the dark cellar opening letting the outside light shine in, you blinked rapidly as you waited for your eyes to adjust to the bright light. “Wh-where am i? Who are you?” you ask, voice trembling.

The man slowly came into view, he was actually pretty attractive all things considered. His expensive loafers sqeaky clean, his muscles bulging in his tight black polo and at just the sight of his 90s porn stache, you felt your heat becoming wet. Shame running through your veins as you looked up at him, eyes watering with innocence.

“The names Lloyd, I’m sure your wondering how you ended up here. I can say your not the sharpest knife in the drawer sweets, but thats just how i like them” he said accentuating his last few words, his cold blue eyes piercing into you as stood, leaning his body weight towards you.

A strike of panic surged through you, without thinking of the possible consequences you bolted towards the door. Running as fast as your legs could take you, your heart beating out of your chest. Needless to say, you didn't get very far before Lloyds muscular bicep wrapped around your neck, dragging you backwards. You yelp as you attempt to wiggle out of his grasp, to no avail. "You really shouldn't have done that sunshine."

He spins you around, holding you tightly against his chest as his hand roughly wraps around your neck, forcing you to look up into his eyes as his masssive body towers over your much smaller frame. Suddenly his hand strikes out against your check, your head whips sideways, your skin instantly turning red. Your eyes fill up with tears, squealing as you stare at him in shock.

He slowly backs you against the wall “I'm sorry sweetheart was daddy too harsh on you?" he chuckled.

"Dumb little girls like you just bring out that side of me."

₊♡₊˚ 🎀・₊✧

౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ Jake Jensen

This was originally apart of my concepts event (requested by anon) but i got a little carried away so i decided to make this my first official fic!🫶🏻 I hope you all enjoy🥺

warnings; breeding. lots and lots of rough, beautiful, loving, breeding.

As always, this blog contains 18+ content only, your media consumption is your own responsibility, all dark content will be labled as such. Please read at your own risk.

₊♡₊˚ 🧸・₊✧

Jake sighed heavily as he watched you from across the room as you mingled with your friends, a bright smile on your face.

Your pretty cheeks stretching wide as you laughed. You had both attended a small gathering at a colleagues home with a group of mutual friends, some of which who had kids.

His eyes practically glazed over with lust seeing how you interacted with the little ones, that motherly instinct taking over you.

You led a sweet little girl to the food table, your hand clasping her much smaller one, helping her pick out some snacks and watching with a smile as she happily scuttled off.

He couldn’t take it anymore, standing on shaky legs he snaked towards you. You spun around at the feel of Jake’s large hands wrapping around your waist, cupcake in hand, looking up at him with your beautiful doe eyes.

“Time to go, baby.” he whispered, his breath fanning over your sensitive nape as his thumb wiped away the crumbs from your lips.

“Wh-What? But we only just got here Jakey.” you frowned, puzzled.He said nothing, grabbing your arm gently and dragging you out of the garden to his forest green G-Wagon, shouting a passing goodbye on his way out. “What the fuck Jake.” you mumbled.

His thick hands gripped the steering wheel tight as he pulled out of the driveway. His foot pressed against the accelerator, driving as fast as he could without wanting to cause an accident. “Jake. Slow down, oh my god what has gotten into you?” you practically shrieked as he took a sharp turn around a street corner.

Again, he said nothing. As if he were in some sort of trance, not even noticing you spoke, or, choosing to ignore you. Shortly you arrived home and before you could even blink Jake had hopped out of the drivers side, appearing next to you after ripping the passenger side door open.

His beefy arms linking underneath your legs as he carrying you to the front door of your shared home, his highlighted locks sticking to his forehead while his chest heaved up and down, using one hand to jingle his keys into the lock.

You looked at him in shock, you’d never seen the poor man so worked up before and you had no idea how or why. His shoes pelted against the stairs as he stormed towards your bedroom.

Slamming the door closed, he layed you down gently on the bed, kissing from your throat down to your stomach and lifting your sundress up and over your shoulders.

His hot breath fanned over your panties as he pushed them to the side, licking a long strip from your hole to your swollen clit. You moaned as your hips writhed, his glasses nudging against your clit as he tongued your hole.

Whimpering as he attached his lips to your sensitive button, he sucked and slurped at your cunt as he pushed a finger deep into your pussy, you cried out as your pussy clenched at the intrusion. He began to thrust his finger into your tight hole as he looked up at you, his baby blues shining with lust.

Pulling away all too soon, he climbed back up the bed and pulled you into a deep kiss, your tongues intertwining as he dry humped his dick into your pussy. You stopped him with a sharp tug of his hair. “B-Baby, what is this about?” you spoke breathlessly.

He shook his head, blowing out a puff of air. “You just looked so good sweetheart, the way you handled the kids, makes me want some of our own.”

You paused, deciding this was the right time to tell him “Yeah? You wanna make me a mommy?”Jake moaned out loud hearing the words leave your mouth.

He sat up on his knees, peeling his boxers down his meaty thighs. You closed your eyes as you felt his swollen tip press against your soaked entrance.

He lifted your jaw with his fingers from above, forcing you to look him in the eyes as he pressed his hips against your own roughly, his thick cock bottoming out inside your pussy with one deep thrust making you cry out in pleasure. He pressed his hand against your flat stomach, imagining what it’ll feel like in a few months.

“Gonna’ cum inside you baby, F-fuck….i cant wait to see you get nice and round f’ me.” he growled, a switch inside him flipping. He pulled out until just the tip remained inside and without warning slammed his hips into yours.

You screamed as you felt your tummy tightening. Your hands gripped his thick biceps as his balls slapped against your ass. The bed began to creak with each thrust of his hips, the headboard slamming against the wall, sure to leave a dint.

“Oh, fuck. Fuck yes. D-Don’t stop!” You whimpered as the knot in your stomach came loose, your cream leaking around the base of his cock as you came.

“Yeah? Right there baby? Right, fucking, there?” Jake growled, accentuating each word as he felt your pussy clench, watching as you orgasmed.

He leant down to bite your neck, hard, as he came. His hot, sticky ropes of cum filling your cunt to the brim, leaking out of your pussy before he was even finished emptying his load. His hips stuttered, groaning as he pulled out, resting his soft cock against your pussy lips.

His lips met your chest, then your throat and cheeks, your forehead, anywhere he could reach.

“You look so pretty like this, my cum leaking down your thighs. Can’t wait to see you all swollen, carrying my babies.”

₊♡₊˚ 🧸・₊✧

ily🥺🫶🏻

really grinds my gears when fellow writers block me for absolutely no reason😍 specially when all i’ve done is support and reblog their work. oh well, their loss.

she started pulsating as i read this.

NO BESTIE I UNDERSTAND YOU 😭 Ari pissing on me would literally be so hot like, the pure depravity of this act and the humiliation 😭 he probably forces you to rub your tiny little baby pussy on his shoe while he does so, forcing you to associate even his piss with pleasure and you cry bc it's so fucking degrading but you can't help but cum on his shoe and then he pushes your face into his piss on the floor while he fucks your ass 🥺

no i’m actually deceased

that’s so fucking hot

like… idec if it’s depraved i want this so bad