The Cat Update No One Asked For

The Cat Update No One Asked for

(Except Me)

Aesthetic of the Month- Floral Academia

Do you love the spring florals that April brings, but want the coziness of a good turtleneck and rounded glasses bring? Of course you do, you tumblr veteran! Floral Academia might be the perfect mix for you, with it's vibrant pastels, and fun patterns to choose from!

A Report! From Inside The Walls of Yesterday

Where we last saw our brave heroes, they were deep inside the Mall Mart backrooms, after a noticeable  power outage that may or may not have been caused by my own hubris~

The power outage, however, was not where the day ended. Context is important here, so that you will understand why I am due for a small meeting of sorts. "It's just some classes," they say. "Think of it as reeducation on the core values of Mallmart," 

With determination in my gut, I had stormed the fields of Mallmart that afternoon, heading straight to the heart of the beast- our pharmacy and beauty section. The power outage made this part of the store particularly difficult to manage. Price scanners could not be used during a power outage. Looking up items for customers could not be done during a power outage. Labels could not be made, during a power outage. So places like pharmacies, where there are so many small nearly similar looking bottles of medicines, ointments and vitamins can seem particularly daunting. 

However, this was not the only danger of the pharmacy and beauty section, as if items cannot fully fit on shelves, they go to 'topstock', the space at the very top of the shelf where items could not be reached by customers. This, was always overstuffed in pharmacy. So as I got ready to put a bottle of melatonin in topstock, I almost didn't notice something warm dripping onto my scalp. 

I looked up, and saw pitch black, oozing through the cracks of the skylight of the pharmacy's ceiling. Impossibly dark, making me wonder just what was up there. Did I see a glimpse of something? Hidden inside the dark mass of ooze? And how was it up there in the first place? Would it stay up there festering and if not, how would they get it down? Did it even matter? I felt an arm roughly tug me away from my spot underneath the skylight. "Girl, you smell like roadkill now." Kara stared at me as I blinked owlishly, coming out of my daze. I'm not sure however long I stood under there, trying to decipher the contents that was dripping over me but I was a mess. And indeed, it did smell like roadkill but mostly gasoline.

And, since it was just close enough to the end of shift, I did not get to drive home to get cleaned up. I had to work with the stuff all over me. The posts continued to be dead quiet with no interaction.

The store continued to stay in chaos, a thrumming pulse coming deep from the bowels of Mallmart as I stocked the chemical aisle. 'What have I done, all I wanted was to be popular- I must've done something horrible in a past life to deserve this. No one in the history of being in pain has suffered as much as I, a Mallmart associate covered in black ink has today'

"Shouldn't they keep her in the back where she isn't stinking up the store?" Three young teens talked amongst themselves. "Keep your voice down! I heard that chick is hella weird. She just randomly showed up one day in Niceville-"

"Can I help you?" I ask, turning on my heel to face them. Immediately, two of the three became bashful and shy, but the young girl with long brown hair grinned. "No, but you clearly do. What's your aesthetic? Special ed. barbie?"

"What's your aesthetic? Being a big bitch-"

My eyes locked with my manager's, and I sucked in air as if trying to suck the words back in. My lips pressing together until they turned white-

A Lesson, in talking to customers, with Madame Macabre!

When engaging with an angry customer, should you;

A.) Ask How You Can Better Help Them?

B.) Count to 10 Mississippi In Your Head While Working To Keep Calm

C.) Accept That You Are a Small Spec In The Vast Unending Universe And That Soon You Will Be Dust Along With All Your Problems

Answer; D.) All Of The Above

You should never resort to calling the customers names, because this could deduct Mallmart points from your account! What are Mallmart points?

Mallmart points are points you can collect through hours worked, and diligence. These can be traded in for when you need to take time off, or in this case, when you have a small infraction. 

I was not fired. Instead, they kindly asked me to take the Mallmart reeducation course so I can "better understand Mallmart's values". I am not at the mercy to disclose what Mallmart's reeducation program entails.

Mallmart's reeducation certainly does not involve them taking you out to a shady back alley to hit you with sticks until you promise not to insult customers though.

It's not.

Trust me :)

So, I limped into the breakroom, sitting in a heap at the table, a moan slithering from my lips as I open a can of soda. "That bad, huh?" Taylor from Mallmart asks, her voice wonderfully flat. "I am going to scream, Taylor dear,"

"Don't do that-"

"It's too late, I'm screaming."

"You're just drinking from your soda though-?"

"Internally, Taylor. Internally."

"Oh."

A report! From inside the walls of Mallmart;

Here in sunny Okaloosa County, it is currently 75F°, and the temperature is climbing into the 80s the farther we go into the week. Morale is low, and there have been casualties. In the breakroom, a young man sits at a table, watching anime on his phone. "It's going to be a quiet day, I think" He tells me, sliding his long hair behind an ear. His baseball cap is tilted low obscuring his face, and his sunglasses are tinted with his building fatigue. This young man's name is Aiden. Aiden remains quiet and still, and perhaps quite lifeless, as he gazes into his screen. "Do I have permission to blog about you?" I ask to those gathered at the table. The smiling girl across from me nodds. "Why sure! I don't mind none!" Her body is dusted in light freckles, and her name is Kara. Aiden, broken from his momentary trance, nods unsurely. "I don't care I guess,"

This is a monster we fight everyday, that we all know. Fatigue looming over us like a sickening phantom, following us only steps behind. I understand this, so I let it fall into a comfortable silence. In times like this, I would just anxiously check my phone. Today, is not an ordinary day though, because I am with you, dear reader

And that is alright.