I Have A Lot Of Trouble With Writing Casual Dialogue. I Just Never Know When To Include Physical Gestures

I have a lot of trouble with writing casual dialogue. I just never know when to include physical gestures and actions and facial expressions and how often to say he/she said/yelled/whined etc. I can write dialogue pretty well when it's important to the plot, but when it's just some filler stuff to keep it going, it just starts to fall apart :(

Hey there, anon!  Thanks for sending your question :)  This is a subject I’ve been working on for the past few months, actually, so I understand your pain!  Dialogue – or rather, the descriptors around it – is something that doesn’t feel quite natural to write.  There are two reasons for this:

Conversations move much more quickly in real life.  When we talk to someone, we are so focused on the information they’re giving us that we don’t always think about their body language, or even how they’re speaking – “explaining,” “mumbling,” “berating,” “perseverating,” etc.  It’s not something we consciously register, so it’s not as easy to write as setting description, dialogue, or thoughts.

Dialogue descriptors are a relatively new trend in literature.  I’ve found that in most the classic literature I read, dialogue is less frequent – and when it is used, it’s rarely accompanied by body language or dialogue tags.  Dialogue descriptors became more popular when movies and TV hit the scene.  Writing became less information-centered – focusing more on details that make the scene more imaginable.  This makes it much more difficult to do research!

So if dialogue descriptors are hard to recognize in daily life and in literature, how do we write it naturally?  How do we know how much is too much, or when and where to introduce it?

Well, like all aspects of fiction writing – dialogue, description, internal dialogue, worldbuilding – it’s important that it’s only used to the extent it’s needed.  If it becomes distracting or overwhelming, you’re misusing it.  These are my criteria for when dialogue descriptors become too much:

The description takes longer than the action it’s describing.  Descriptors become distracting if they take up too much time – just like if an actor held a facial expression for too long.  It would stall the scene, and the point would be lost.

How to test this: Put one of your dialogue-heavy scenes on your phone to test it out.  While looking at yourself in the mirror, have Siri (or Cortana or whatever the hell else) read your scene to you – while she does, act it out in the mirror.  Make the expressions and perform the body language.  Read the dialogue, external and internal.  Ill-timed or excessive description will become apparent to you this way.

The description is superfluous or too wordy.  Descriptive dialogue tags (e.g. “shouted,” “heckled,” “joked,” “complained”) and accompanying adverbs become superfluous if they describe something the dialogue already portrays.  Examples:

“I knew it was you!” she exclaimed.  (The exclamation point already states that it’s an exclamation.)

“You are so selfish!” he shouted angrily.  (You could get away with “shouted”, but it’s implied that the character is angry by their dialogue.)

“I thought you said you were free tonight,” she said in confusion, her eyebrows wrinkled.  (Confusion is apparent in the dialogue; also, the image of her eyebrows wrinkling is more powerful than the “Tell” version, “in confusion”.)

It doesn’t add to the scene.  Common descriptors, like raising eyebrows, blinking, swallowing, and shaking or nodding of the head are excessive in real life conversations, but not necessary in your scene.  If body language doesn’t affect the tone of the dialogue or move your characters through the scene (e.g. sitting down at a table) then it’s unnecessary and clutters the prose.

As for writing dialogue itself, I’ll refer you to this post I made a little while ago about dialogue improvement.  If you have any further questions, I’ll gladly take them :)  Happy writing!

If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask me!

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Writing Advice

For the love of god, don't write a character being an expert (especially the BEST EXPERT) in anything you don't personally want to research.

White lady gjinka!!

So i decided to draw the White lady, and give her a wavy hair as she should! I searched up various short wavy hair and the-jaw-length messy-wavy hair would be perfect for her.

^^

Inspiration!

I cant believe im going to torture myself by giving her wavy hair, as if i didnt struggle enough. But whatever, atleast i have the excuse to practice wavy/curly hair now :")

What are some ways to make stories more detailed and invigorating to read? I am a beginning writer and often times I have very limited dialogue and mediocre descriptions even if what I have in my head is very detailed.

Happy holidays!  Thank you for your question :)

I’m going to say first that your problem, while a very real issue, should be dealt with mainly in the second draft and further.  Details and descriptions aren’t something to worry about until you’ve got the story out – so even if you’re dissatisfied with your descriptive skills right now, keep writing through your scenes!  You can add in description and edit dialogue later.

This is a big question, though, so I’m going to answer the dialogue part of your question and come back in a couple of days with a description post.  Is that okay?

I hope it is, because I’m doin it anyway hurr hurr hurr…

Dialogue Improvement

From what you’ve said in the question, I’m assuming your dialogue is a bit barebones or impersonal – a common issue in modern writing, I’ve noticed.  We see a lot of our favorite characters on TV, and we can tell them apart by their actors’ faces and voices, more than their word choices.  So when we turn to writing fiction, we struggle to keep things unique.  There are a few ways to start changing that, though:

Remember that dialogue and prose have different rules.  While in prose, small words, passive words, and processing terms (like “um”, “well”, “maybe”), are no-nos, they can add to dialogue to make it sound more realistic and audible.  Think about all the natural things we say, which writers are encouraged not to use in their prose and descriptions – and use them, in some places, to improve your dialogue.

Think about which character is speaking.  Write out a list of their most distinctive traits.  If they are humble or introverted, they may speak less or more briefly.  If they are confident or excitable, they may exclaim, exaggerate, or emphasize their speech.  If they are pensive or thoughtful, they may remain quiet for long stretches before speaking in long, eloquent sentences.  Think of these things, and create a cheat sheet for yourself.  For example:

John: boastful, silly, speaks so quickly that his brain struggles to keep up.

Anna: negative, intelligent, speaks when addressed, calming.

Sierra: thoughtful, very funny when she does speak, nervous, stutters.

Abide by “less is more”.  This doesn’t mean that your characters shouldn’t speak, but that you should limit your stretches of dialogue to a few sentences at most.  Monologues and speeches rarely happen in real life.  In fact, it’s rare that all speakers in the conversation go uninterrupted.  Dialogue is best messy, interrupted, and brief – never clean-cut and sterile.

Make your dialogue linear, but not completely.  When you’re writing a long conversation, make sure that nothing comes out of nowhere!  One piece of dialogue, one mention of something, should lead to another.  Even if your character randomly thinks of something (”Oh!  I think I left my scarf at your house!”) it should be prompted by something said previously (”I had to clean up after the party Christmas party last night.”).  This said, however, things shouldn’t be completely Point A -> Point B.  Small topics should branch off between two or more people, and should be dropped and picked back up as is necessary.  Too much of a formula makes your characters into dull boys.

Lastly, a common idea: read your dialogue out loud.  I don’t care if your roommate will hear you.  I don’t care if you’re not an actress.  I don’t give a tiny little damn if you think it’ll take too long.  When reviewing or editing a scene, please, just read it.  I’m not griping at you, anon – I’m griping at all writers.  It’s such an easy thing to do and it improves your dialogue so much, but people just don’t do it!  Why not?  Just do it!

Those are just a few good rules off the top of my head, and if I think of more, I’ll certainly post them.  If none of this is what’s ailing you, then just flick me on the forehead and send me another question.  In a little bit I’ll make another post about description, so look out for that too!

Thanks for your question, and happy writing :)

If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask me!