Macaque: Lady Bone Demon Gave Me A Get Better Soon Card.

Macaque: Lady Bone Demon gave me a “get better soon” card.”

Azure Lion: That’s sweet of her!

Macaque: I wasn’t sick. She just thinks I can do better.

I Got an AU for y’all today.

Behold the 💙 White Lily 💙 Au

The fact that I have yet to see anyone make an au where Lady Bone Demon and her host have a wholesome relationship is a crime against nature, a crime against humanity, AND A CRIME AGAINST ME, SO YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I’M GONNA DO IT MYSELF.

Thus the birth of ✨ The White Lily Au ✨

See I already had this very, very bad write-out attempt of it on wattpad but we’re gonna ignore it because it’s an hour and thirty seven minutes of GARBAGE

Anyhow, in this AU, Macaque does his friggin job for once and frees LBD like he was supposed to, albeit a little tiny bit late. I thought it was weird that the mayor waited 500 years before freeing her if he had the key, so for this au, we got the mayor HUNTING DOWN MACAQUE’S GOOFY SELF and dragging him to that tomb.

“you’re gonna open this tomb and you’re gonna like it, you ding dong dingaling”

So Macaque becomes a whole tomb raider to get the mayor out of his business, watch out LaUrA CRofT

And boom, 400 years early, our girl is back.

Because Macaque was WAY BETTER as a villain we’re gonna keep him that way. In this au, LBD plans to use Macaque to replace Monkey King in her new world, sounded like a good deal to him

But how can LBD complete her very nefarious plans without a proper host? Because she was freed 400 years early, her body hasn’t decayed yet, so she still has her original form, but it’s still pretty weak from imprisonment.

So an idea pops into her head. She should get a host! And since she’s got the extra time on her hands, she can afford to be picky!

She wants a host who’s strong enough to handle her full power, but she also wants a female child, as a disguise and to make people feel bad for trying to attack her. A willing host was preferred but definitely not a necessity. Kind of difficult to have all of those at the same time, so what does she do? She adopts a child, planning to train them to handle her full power so that she can have the perfect host to carry out her plans. She sees only one viable candidate for the position.

but so sorry for her, that candidate is an OBNOXIOUS 💙 GLUTTONOUS 💙 ANNOYING 💙 SPOILED 💙 PRETENTIOUS 💙 WHINY 💙 BRAT 💙 who just RADIATES youngest child energy, and is excellent at WHINING ❤️ COMPLAINING ❤️ THROWING TANTRUMS ❤️OVER THE SMALLEST LITTLE THINGS AND RUINING ❤️ MACAQUE’S LIFE.

LBD has her work cut out for her, because Bai He is a standard spoiled preschooler and the Lady Bone Demon hasn’t even SEEN a child in eons, much less understand them.

Anyhow this AU is adorable, with Macaque as the angsty oldest son, Mayor is the weird middle child and Bai He is the annoying youngest who always gets away with everything while LBD tiredly raises them all.

And The LMK brainrot continues with a vengeance

BEHOLD, RANDOM PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET WHO MIGHT HAPPEN SEE MY POST, A HALF-BAKED AU I MADE UP JUST NOW

that contains spoilers for Monkie kid season 4 👍🏽

with that, I give you, the 💙 Pantheon AU 💙, I know I’m so good at naming things, anywho, the AU is about a certain three coming together, and becoming the 💕 ultimate villain trio 💕

Lady Bone Demon- Obviously. It isn’t ultimate without her.

Macaque. Less obviously because he got a half-baked redemption arc he didn’t deserve halfway though but also kind of obvious because his gif is on this post.

and finally, drumroll please, AZURE LION DEMON.

in this au, these amazing powerhouses and macaque will come together and form their pact to achieve all of their goals- Revenge on Wukong, creating a perfect world, and destroying the gods. Together, the three of them will become the new gods and govern a perfect world with no hint of pain or suffering, and form the new ✨ pantheon ✨ of the world.

But Macaque’s mostly doing it out of spite.

ANYWAY I WOULD LIKE TO SEE SLOWBURN FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN ALL OF THEM AND LADY BONE DEMON AND MACAQUE CONSTANTLY ROASTING EACH OTHER WHILE AZURE LION DEMON TRIES TO KEEP THE PEACE.

I REQUIRE THIS AU FOR MY PEACE OF MIND. THAT IS ALL.

Pantheon AU things, Part II

You know what I noticed about the og show?

THAT THE VILLAINS WERE SUPER OVERHYPED AND UNDERUSED.

I’m talking specifically about Lady Bone Demon and Macaque. My babies were some of the most badass characters in their first run, but then you’re- you’re just gonna have them get WIPED LIKE A DIRTY TABLE

“The Samadhi Fire is the only way to defeat the Lady Bone Demon!” BABE WHAT

YOU JUST WENT STRAIGHT IN, NO PLAN, NO WEAPON, JUST WAS ABOUT TO STRAIGHT MURK HER

And don’t even get me started on macaque, like bro was such a good villain in his first two episodes, with all the needless theatrics only meant to screw with MK and all. But then in season 3 they’re like “oh no he’s actually not such a bad guy let’s make him way weaker than he was in his debut episode”

My guy has omnipotent control over shadows. He can sink into them with no problem. He can fly, and even if he couldn’t, he can turn into a bird.

Pray tell, HOW did he get knocked off into a freakin PITCH DARK HOLE, WHEN LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE ON BOARD, WHO, MIND YOU WERE JUST ABOUT READY TO KNEEL OVER, WERE ABLE TO KEEP CATCH ONTO SOMETHING AND KEEP THEIR HOLD???

So yeah in the Pantheon AU (and the “AU where everything is exactly the same but the lady bone demon destroys everyone with facts and logic”) I would like to avoid ruining them like that.

SO YES, I will be using both LBD and Macaque to their full potential, they deserve it, Macaque was goated in season 1 and 2, season 3 macaque…. 😐

He’s nah

Azure Lion Demon, Lady Bone Demon and Macaque? About to be the ILLEST power trio. Watch out, Monkey King 😎

Also LBD, even without me crediting her in full is more powerful in this au bc she doesn’t have to worry about destroying her host’s body because she’s not using one, just her own body.

500 years later, after a lot of plotting and stealing power, Lady Bone Demon says that they can finally enact… the plan 😼

To draw the Monkey King out of hiding, Lady Bone Demon uses her brilliant gaslight gatekeep girlboss skills to manipulate the Demon Bull Family.

She uses her mystical levitation whiz or whatever that is to lift the staff bc I saw her do it like it wasn’t nothing once

And BOOM DBK is free and has an spooky advisor who is definitely plotting something, also becoming best friends with Princess Iron Fan because YES

AWE AND HER BEING A SASSY AUNT TO RED SON, OH NO I LOVE THEM

Ok change of plans because I’m a wimp Demon Bull Family joins the pantheon. Azure lion would like that anyway bc DBK used to be in gang.

except for red son who doesn’t want the world to blow up

Of course Azure Lion, Lady Bone Demon and Macaque are still the main trio 🥰

OOH FAMILY DRAMA I AM ON A ROLL

Macaque: So, what’s your cat’s name?

Lady Bone Demon: Ebony.

Macaque, yelling to Azure Lion: TRY EBONY!

Azure Lion, on the computer: DIDN’T WORK!

Lady Bone Demon:

Macaque: What’s your favorite number?

Azure Lion: Honestly, why are the people of today are so obsessed with this “top” or “bottom” thing? Why can’t they just be appreciative of the fact that they have a bunk bed?

Macaque:

Lady Bone Demon:

Macaque: I’m gonna tell him.

Lady Bone Demon: Don’t you dare.