Clownqueenofprom - Queenie - Tumblr Blog

I wrote a short story from the perspective of a doll.

Toy story is a horror movie now

I need help. 

I don’t know where I am, or how I got here, but I can’t stay. One minute, I’m safe. I’m asleep, I’m in my box and the next I’m being dragged around like that loser Raggedy Ann from next door, up and down the walls by this… thing. 

It looks like me, but not like me. It’s huge, first of all, it wears it’s hair in two dopey pigtails.  It acts like it’s a human, but only a rabid beast would treat me the way it does. 

The pretty figure doll it stole from its friend is still under the bed. She talks to me sometimes.

“Your girl is a nightmare,” she says. “How do you handle it?” 

I wish I knew how to answer her question. The twin-tailed beast cut my hair, and often draws on my face. The other day she popped off my hands. 

The figure doll remains forgotten by the beast. She keeps me company at night. 

“My girl’s name was Bai He,” she explained. “I was custom made for her by her mother.” 

I would ask if her beast treated her kindly. She chuckled, and gently asked me not to call her “girl” a beast. I suppose that nickname will be reserved for my beast. 

The beast’s friend came back. It always wears a pink fishing hat. It seemed angry at the beast. I can’t understand their mindless babble, but it tore the room apart until it found the figure doll. 

They wrestled over her, pulling her back and forth like she was a rope until she snapped, right in two. 

The beast’s friend never came back. 

The beast and I were both lonely after that.

Bai He came to mind first for some reason, didn’t have time to switch, I wrote this in ten minutes, so uh… do whatever you want with that

EEEEEEEEEE

I CAN FINALLY FOLLOW THE SPIDER-VERSE TAG I AM VERY EXCITED

THE HYPE IS REAL

ALL MY SUGGESTED TAGS ARE ABOUT MONKIE KID

The End

No these beginnings will never have anything to do with the story. Except for this one i guess

Did you know that The Lady Bone Demon never actually lies? Well, that was a fun idea to play with for the third installment of the “Everything is exactly the same but The Lady Bone Demon destroys everyone with facts and logic”!

As Xiaotian scanned his surroundings, he also made time to wipe his forehead free of sweat.

The Spider Queen’s lair was unsurprisingly hot, as it was kind of a sewer. All he needed to do was find Pigsy his precious sign and get out of there.

The thought was all so simple- until an eerie, cold breeze brushed by his ear.

His head immediately perked up, a shiver grazing the hair on his arms and neck, searching for the source.

Lo and behold- walking by him with the grace of an ancient empress and the footsteps of a shadow was a young girl- dressed in traditional clothing, and ignoring him in full.

It took a moment for him to understand what had just happened, and as soon as he did, the time he took wiping off his sweat became useless as he stumbled after her.

“H-Hey!” He called, tripping over himself and his words as he attempted to keep up with the dark-haired girl. “Wait up!”

For a person with such short legs, she walked incredibly fast.

She cleanly ignored his request, as if she didn’t hear him at all. Instead, she continued on her merry way. She certainly seemed to be fine, but Xiaotian still didn’t feel right about leaving a kid unattended in a sewer that housed murderous spider demons.

“Kid!” He yelled after her, only to be ignored again. He scrambled to catch up to her, but only managed to do so when she suddenly stopped.

He awkwardly ran up after her, resting his hands on his knees as he painted heavily from the exhausting run. If not for the bizarre chill that seemed to follow the girl, he would have passed out from the heat by now.

“How…” he heaved, “Are you so…. FAST!?”

Again, she said nothing, stepping forward a few steps to gaze ahead of her.

He looked up, following her gaze. A gasp escaped his throat, but even he wasn’t sure what it was out of- horror? Or something as simple as surprise?

In front of him was a large golden chain tree, but carved or otherwise into the wood was a very real, very humanoid skeleton, with a ringlet hanging loosely on the skull that looked dangerously similar to the Monkey King’s cursed crown.

There were bright red Spider Lilies creeping out of the eye sockets, as if imitating blood red eyes.

He stumbled back at the sight of the enormous tree, which certainly had not been there the last several times he’d been to Spider Queen’s lair.

“W-what is this?” He asked no one in particular as he caught himself to keep from falling out of shock, the very sight of the tree haunting him.

He didn’t necessarily expect a response from the girl- only to find that for the first time, he received one.

“This is the end,” she said, tilting her head full of dark hair upwards, as if to admire the tree, before repeating the action, this time to the side. “And the beginning.”

She turned back to him, innocent dark eyes that didn’t at all fit her hardened expression observing him with intrigue. “Did he not tell you that?”

A shiver ran up his spine, making the hair on his neck stand on end at not just her words, but merely the sound of her voice.

“H-He…?” He managed to choke out. “Who… who’s he…?”

A smirk that befit a demoness of some kind graced the young girl’s delicate features. She turned back to look at the tree. “Why, him, of course.”

Xiaotian’s heart trembled in his body.

The first person that came to mind when he saw the insidious tree called both the end and the beginning was for certain his currently M.I.A master and teacher- but what could this child (or this tree, for that matter) possibly have to do with the Monkey King?

“So you really know nothing?” She hummed, tracing the trunk of the tree. “How unfortunate.”

Xiaotian took a cautious step back, holding his staff in front of him defensively as she turned around fully to face him, a placid, cool as ice smile on her face.

If Xiaotian didn’t know any better, he’d say that her eyes were aglow with an eerie blue.

“What…” he trailed off, before focusing on the girl intensively. Just like Monkey King taught you, he thinks. “What do you mean, the end?”

She expression changes only a little, with her eyes narrowing as she chuckles a little.

“Do you seek to ensure I cause no harm to any people, young Prince?” She said with a slight hum. “But can you save people from themselves?”

“What are you talking about it?” He knots his eyes together, before dropping low into a defensive position. “Who are you?”

“If you want to know,” Her eyes are aglow with a dangerous glint as she turns to her side, hands folded behind her back. “Come and find me.”

With her final dare, she turns away once more, walking straight through the tree. It dissipates as she walks through, revealing it to be an illusion- but once the tree is nothing but blue, glowing ashes lingering in the air, she is nowhere to be found.

The empty torches that had seemingly been untouched for years suddenly alit, blue fire illuminating a path in the darkness.

Whispers followed him as he silently creeped forward, following the blue torchlight into the totally-not-creepy-at-all tunnel.

“Dark clouds crowding heaven,” he heard, “Consume all that dares glow,” another voice trailed along the wall. “Bleed into the sky,”

“And let your shadow grow.”

It got to the point where he resorted to holding the staff in the crook of his arm as he covered his ears, not wanting to hear another word.

Finally, he was back into what he’d begun calling the “common room” of Spider Queen’s lair. He gasped momentarily, searching the room for any sign of the spider demons, but they were nowhere to be found.

Instead, there was only the same strange girl, staring up at a large… diagram, of sorts. It depicted a large mech the likes of which he’d never seen. He pointed his staff at her back.

“Well?” She asked, as if already having had sensed his presence. “Is the would-be hero going to attack me or not? I await your attempt.”

Pushing off on his right foot with an empowering yell, he heeded her request, brandishing his staff.

Before he could get any closer to hitting her, she vanished from view, teleporting it seemed, out of his way. Instead, his staff was dangerously close to hitting some sort of mirror instead.

His reflection in the mirror flipped through many different perspectives, but all told him the same thing, and all looked utterly terrified.

“Stop- don’t- RUN- What are you doing!?” They all seemed to be pulling out their hair, and Xiaotian quickly stumbled back, backing away from the mirror- or rather…?

“Hold on,” he whispered. “This is the trigram furnace! What is this doing here?”

To be fair, he did kind of forget about it in the whole spider demon… ordeal. He forced himself to focus. This was no time to fool around. “Trust you instincts,” he muttered to himself, blinking on his gold vision.

He turned to face the girl.

And what he saw was anything but.

Royal Christening (A Hero is Born, #1)

I found this Risen Shadow/Fallen Sun au by @lavender-descendentheart wherein Lady Bone Demon finds Sun Wukong under the mountain and frees him, so Tripitaka is forced to settle for Macaque when about to go on the journey, that just REACHED my heart, so I had to write out like… like a first chapter for it.

Whatever this is. MK will be referred to as Xiaotian because what else do you want from me? You want me to call him SK for “Shadow Kid”? I’m not calling him SK. I’m not a vsco girl. And Xiaojiao Long for Mei because I just like that better than “Mei Dragon” to be completely honest. This note is because authors be writing these fanfics, using the Chinese names and then expecting people to just… KNOW who everyone is.

Qi Xiaotian was just a delivery boy. Nothing more, nothing less.

He was an orphan, with no memory of his life before meeting the noodle shop’s owner, who’d taken him in- of course, not without grumbling about how he’d have to pull his weight around the shop in exchange.

Xiaotian didn’t have any complaints. It was sometimes a hassle, but it was fun sometimes and it was certainly heaps better than being on the streets without a thing to his name. He was happy to do anything asked of him.

But a delivery to an unfinished construction site- that was halfway underground? He had to draw the line somewhere, right?

“An order’s an order, kid,” His boss, and as far as he was concerned, surrogate father “Pigsy” (that wasn’t his real name, but that didn’t make it any less fitting.) had told him gruffly, pointing his spoon matter-of-factly.

“I can’t have a costumer giving me a bad review! That’s exactly what the competition wants.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, Pigsy,” Tang had said, leaning on the pig demon’s shoulder without a care, spinning around a chopstick with his free hand. “It’s raining cats and dogs! You can’t make Xiaotian go out in all that! Your noodles are the best in town!”

A cartoonish vein popped up on Pigsy’s forehead as he shoved Tang off of his shoulder. “Yeah, I bet!” He’d barked. “That’s why you’re always around here freeloading, ain’t it!?”

The moment another one of their typical childish arguments began, it became apparent to Xiaotian that he wasn’t getting out of this strange request- for noodles… underground.

Unfortunately, his little delivery boy cart wasn’t exactly accommodated to rides underground, especially considering the seemingly constant poor weather in Megapolis.

No matter the season, it was either foggy, raining, or snowing, which made it especially hard for a delivery boy such as Xiaotian. Scientists yet to have come up with an official theory for why the whether was so bizarre despite the location and season, but there’s been talk of a constructing a weather station to control it.

Matter of fact, he thought as he finally came across his destination, ready to climb down underneath the unfinished building and deliver his boss’ noodles, that was the very building he would be trespassing beneath this afternoon.

“Hoo boy,” he said aloud, a little bead of sweat rolling down his face at the sight of the undone building in front of him.

The heavy rain helped nothing, and since none of the workers were out, perhaps because of the violent storm, it looked throughly abandoned, thoroughly unstable, and thoroughly creepy.

He cracked a nervous smile, hesitantly walking forward and ducking underneath a wooden scaffolding, crawling into a hole that looked like it was about to become a basement.

He checked the directions on his phone (all of which had been manufactured waterproof, as the constant rain called for a lot of accommodations.) and hummed unsurely before taking a left, poking his head through a recently dug out hole.

As for what he saw- well, he wasn’t really sure what he expected in the first place.

It was just a cave, with pipelines for the unfinished building above lining the ceiling- but inside that cave was an entire squadron of mechanic-seeming… bull demons, all of which looked exactly the same, as if they’d been mass produced.

A tiny squeak of surprise escaped him, but none of the bull… robots seemed to notice.

Their appearance reminded him of one of the many stories Tang had told him while he cleaned up the shop- the story about the Demon Bull King.

It was no more than historical fiction, of course, but it described an epic battle, a raw display of aggression between two demons, the Monkey King and the Demon Bull King.

Monkey King emerged victorious, sealing the Bull King underneath a mountain with his staff before he vanished, never to be seen again until finally being defeated by the famed Six-Eared Macaque. (The details of that second battle were unknown to him until Tang got another bowl of free noodles.)

He shook away his thoughts, scrambling to find his phone. He hoped with all his heart that he’d found the wrong underground hideout beneath an unfinished business.

Of course, that was not the case.

At a genuine loss for what to do next, Xiaotian just sat there for a moment, awkwardly wedged in between an unfinished bathroom and a freaking underground lair.

”It feels like I’ve waited an eternity for this moment,” Over everything else, the sound of a feminine voice stood out to him. “Is everything in order?”

“Just making the final adjustments, mother.”

Xiaotian flinched, turning his eyes in the direction of the female voice, which was then followed by a male’s.

The woman was tall and dark haired, with an impractical but impressive horned headset and a traditional dress you wouldn’t see on anyone in the modern day.

The boy was much younger, her son, he inferred, and had red hair tied into a high ponytail and small glasses, along with a random scar on his upper cheek.

He didn’t recognize either of them, but one of them had ordered noodles, and Megapolis was a big city after all. Most of Pigsy’s shoppers were regulars. First time for everything, he guesses.

He used his teeth to hold the bag, laying both hands flat against the stone to force himself out of the hole. With an alarming lack of grace, he fell, rolling into the dirt.

He quickly recovered, however, pushing himself off the ground. “Hey!” He yelled, dusting the dirt off of his red hoodie.

“Huh?” The boy’s expression contorted into disgust at the sight of Xiaotian. “What are you supposed to be?” He demanded, as if Xiaotian were some creature that just crawled out from underneath the bed.

“Oh! Uh, I’m Xiaotian.” He smiled sheepishly, holding up the bag of noodles. “Here from Pigsy’s Noodles? Order for two classic bowls, right?”

“Not right, you oaf!” The redhead seethed, slapping the noodles to the ground. “Nobody here ordered your peasant food.”

In the corner of his eye, Xiaotian noticed one of the Bull robots start to seemingly sweat nervously, but the redhead didn’t see it. Instead, he pointed an accusatory finger at Xiaotian.

“Do you know who we are?” He hissed. “I am Red Son, the one and only son of the Demon Bull King, and I-”

“Enough of this,” The mother hissed, tired of her son’s rambling. “We’ve no time for games. Be on your way, peasant boy.”

She narrowed her eyes at Xiaotian, who broke into a sweat as he spared her a nervous chuckle.

She turned away, training her eyes on a little hill filled with dead grass, and a similarly wilted tree. In he middle of tiny hill was a staff. “We must focus all our energy on lifting the staff.”

Xiaotian furrowed his brow. Lifting a staff didn’t seem like it would be that hard.

A Bull robot, the same one that he suspected ordered those noodles, quickly scrambled up the top of the hill, pulling on the staff.

Instead of running like he probably should have, Xiaotian watched intently as the Bull robot heaved and heaved, pulling on the staff, but in the end, his arms gave flying off instead.

The Bull’s body landed at… Red Son(?)’s feet. “You fool!” The redhead said smugly. “You think we didn’t try that already? It’s going to take more than a few robots to lift the Monkey King’s staff. Only those deemed worthy can wield-”

Xiaotian cut him off, shoving his palm into the redhead’s cheek to move him aside. “Monkey King’s staff? That is a really realistic model, but that staff isn’t real, you know.” He said lightheartedly, ignoring Red Son’s cries of umbrage as he walked up to the hill, smiling until he reached the staff.

“You just have to twist and pull. Righty tighty, lefty loosey!” He said, quoting the old rhyme.

As he wrapped his hand around the hilt of the staff, a shudder went down his spine- not a chill, but rather a sweltering heat.

“You idiot,” Red Son said, rubbing his cheek. “Get down from there immediately, peasant! Someone must teach you your pla-”

The arrogant boy was immediately silenced when Xiaotian tugged on the staff, pulling it out of it’s spot situated in the ground. As far as he knew, it wasn’t even in there that tight.

The mother gasped as the staff can free, and Xiaotian held it in his hand, above his head in a mock victorious pose. Whispers aligned into an odd term as he held it, brushing against his ears.

“Sun Wukong,”; they told him.

“He did it…!” The mother gasped aloud, but the son wasn’t very amused.

“Then why is nothing happening!?” He demanded, before looking at his mother flatly.

“Mother, are you sure this is the right mountain?”

“No,” The mother said in annoyance, holding her palm to her forehead. “Maybe it was that other mountain with the magical staff, sealing away my husband!”

Xiaotian glanced down at the staff in his hands. There was no way that thing was the Monkey King’s staff, right?

His thoughts were proved wrong in a flash of erupting green light from the ground beneath him, tossing him across the room, clutching onto the staff for dear life.

Out of the ashes of what used to be ground, a giant bull- who could only be the Demon Bull King- the real Demon Bull King, even with a broken horn and a body and face that was riddled with scars from his head to his toe, the demon exuded power that Xiaotian had never seen before.

“Flesh,” he utters, “Bone…” He stared down at his clawed hands, clenching them, simply to test out movement. “I have returned to the realm of the living!”

“Demon Bull King!” The woman said, a wicked grin on her face. “How I’ve missed you.”

“Princess Iron Fan,” The King greeted in return. crossing his arms with what can only be described as ‘something kind of like a smile’. “The years have been kind. How did you free me?”

In response to the King’s question, Xiaotian’s body was quickly kicked away by Red Son, explaining what had happened in quick recession that was barely understandable.

“I-It doesn’t matter though, Father!” The boy sputtered. “If we have the noodle boy, we have the staff, and we have them both right here!”

The Bull King glared at Xiaotian, who backed up in fear and alarm, clutching onto the staff for dear life as Red Son continued.

“Together, we, the Demon Bull Family, will plunge the world into eternal darkness!”

Oh jeez, The supposed Demon Bull Family, along with their little gofers, the robots, turned to give Xiaotian a glaring look, their eyes gleaming in the darkness. Xiaotian stared at the staff in his hands, sweat rolling off his forehead.

This was all his fault, wasn’t it?

Next? 👀

I made up a Backstory for Lady Bone Demon

I think we all knew I would get to this point some day.

In Jttw, demons are typically animals brought back as demons, for example the Black Wind Demon, a bear. As a human skeleton demon, it’s incredibly likely that LBD was a human before she came back as a demon.

With this in mind, how did she die? LBD despises war, pain and famine of all kind, so I assume she might have died on a war front and, while I don’t think she retained memories from her life as a human, she still subconsciously hated wars.

Her body when she was the ivory lady was probably her own body, which she woke up inside of because it’s technically her corpse. The demon itself is within her skeleton, but that doesn’t mean her old body can’t be an accessory 🥳 fashion first, get ya look right

She just randomly woke up on one of those carts with all the corpses on it and was hella confused

So I feel like as a demon, she kind of became some Good Samaritan, since she looked human everyone was just cool with it. She was a seamstress and you can’t convince me otherwise. She would fashion clothes for the homeless and give fruits to travelers coming through whichever town she found herself in.

I mean she’s a little older than SWK at this point I feel like, she’s doing nice things to hold onto her sanity at the sight of the world crumbling and rebuilding itself again and again and again in a ruthless cycle 🧡

In JTTW, she was 110% just trying to poison Tripitaka and the gang so that she could eat him, but I need something to reinforce her hatred and lack of faith in the world so we’re switching that up a little.

She’s just doing her thing, giving fruits and vegetables from her garden (bc she has a damn garden. She’s giving garden.) to every traveler passing by and the monk and the boys happen to be one of them.

At this point she’s grateful to them because what they’re doing could help end a lot of conflicts and she doesn’t like conflicts 🥰

Wukong recognizes her as a demon and kind of misunderstands, thinking she’s trying to poison them.

So yeah he responds with violence.

Yeah so that was how she discovered she could take her mfing skin off when she had to wiggle out of it to save herself from being pummeled into bone cartilage

you best believe SWK got his ass kicked out of the group for beating up some random ass lady who he absolutely convinced was trying to kill them 💀

but dw they let him back in when they needed protection from the yellow something demon

They buried her damn corpse so she had to go underground to get back inside it, and then dig her way out of the grave.

And the night after all that is the first time she has ✨ the dream ✨

Where she sees herself destroying the world.

She brushes that off as just a nightmare yet, but then she starts having different bad dreams, of things like plagues and wars and you know… people dying

And damn, those start COMING TRUE??

She tries her best to change them, but nothings working??

Ooh, here’s an idea! What if she becomes and advisor and guides their emperor into being a better person?

HOO BOY DOES THAT MAKE THINGS WORSE

The emperor is the worst, why 💀 She becomes besties with the mayor, at the point the war chief, who the emperor just loves to overwork the hell out of

And she’s constantly getting precognitive dreams and changing them has proven to be impossible so that sucks

And I feel like she’s just on the last threads of her sanity when that one dream she had where she destroyed says “hey what if you just killed them all” in her sleep

And then BOOM

They’re in the middle of a crisis the very next day. She’s 100% prepared to ignore that dream because she’s still in the “the future is what you make it” phase but then as she’s talking to the emperor about handing the crisis, just imagine him doing the cruelest possible thing in that situation and that’s what he did bc i can’t think of anything

And that’s it, that is IT

This goofy mf is dead. His ass is grass.

And then she’s like “y’know what. I have tried to fix the world and these dreams have just been constantly telling me that it can’t be fixed. Let’s torch the earth, screw the environment”

But then Tripitaka and the boys come together to stop her 😒

So she peeps Macaque’s decaying corpse and decides he has some potential

SHE WAS WRONG

I assume in that box, her destiny talk was just her way of not losing her shit trying to get out

“Yup, this is all for destiny. I’ma get out of her one day, I’m a survivor, I’m not gon give up”

Every second spent being pissed at Macaque’s goofy ass

I imagine she was super nice to him fr, she was looking for FRIENDS but his trust issues really said “stop ✋🏽 You violated the law”

Presumably, her body rotted away when she was locked up because she was IN IT when she was first imprisoned, but when she was freed there was nothing but bones?? 🤨

And now she’s gotten free and

She is not very happy 🧡

because like Tripitaka said “I’m locking you up until you learn the error of your ways” because he saw that her intentions were good, but like

you know damn well he wasn’t actually gonna free her. There would have been better ways of changing her mind then locking her away and you know it 💀

what were you gonna do fr fr just show up every now and again to check on her and then leave like “Oop, nope, you haven’t learned your lesson looks like you need a little more time in your box, I’ll be back in fifty years, don’t go anywhere now teehee 🤭”

🖕🏾🖕🏾🖕🏾🖕🏾

This is the best thing I’ve seen all day

Six-Eared Macaque Disstrack

He was honestly one of my favorite villains, but he’s absolutely my least favorite anti-hero 🥰 so enjoy this diss track! :D

Bro 

You literally a demon 

You know you always be scheming 

You can actually fly 

And boy, do you know how to lie 

Like bruh, when everything gets dark

You know this guy got control 

He got a whole ass shadow monster 

Along with disposable clones

Bro, even if you couldn’t fly 

You can still turn into a hawk, I seen you

My guy 

You op as frick 

SO WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS THROWING? 

Pls explain with all of these powers you slid off into a FREAKING pitch-dark hole 

When literally everyone else on board 

Could catch a ledge and keep their hold 

DUDE 

HALF OF THESE BITCHES WERE BEAT UP 

HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY SCREW UP 

THEY AIN’T EVEN HAVE THE STAFF 

THEY WERE BEAT UP AND DOWN ON THEIR ASS  

YOU SHOULDA BEEN ABLE TO DO THEM DIRTY AND FAST 

THE BONE LADY PRACTICALLY HAD THEM GIFT WRAPPED 

SO DUDE 

HOW DID NE ZHA 

DO YOUR JOB BETTER THAN YOU 

LIKE BRO 

WHY DOES THE FANDOM RICHARD RIDE YOU LIKE YOU JESUS ABOUT TO DELIVER A MIRACLE 

NAH, YOU MORE LIKE JUDAS 

WHY EVERYONE PUT THEIR FAITH IN THIS BITCH 

YUH

THAT’S WHY ONLY FOUR PEOPLE CAME TO YOUR WACK ASS PLAY 

‘CAUSE YOU’RE BASICALLY JUST A TRASHCAN, WITH LEGS 

AND NONE OF THEM ACTUALLY WANTED TO BE THERE ANYWAY

YEAH BRO  

UR WACK 

MY GUY IS COMPLETELY INCAPABLE 

OF COMPLETING THE SIMPLEST TASKS 

ALWAYS BE DOING THE OPPOSITE 

LIKE FOR ONCE JUST DO WHAT YOU’RE ASKED 

IF YOU DID THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE, THE BONE LADY WOULDN’T EVEN BE MAD 

BRO LITERALLY THE ENTIRE SHOW 

HAPPENED CUZ YOU AND SUN WUKONG ARE ✨ ASS ✨

Y’ALL NEEDA HOP OFF HIS DICK 

BRO AIN’T A SNACK 

HE A WHOLE ASS BRUSSELS SPROUT 

Y’ALL STOP FEELING BAD 

HONESTLY LBD SHOULDA DONE THIS NIGGA WORSE 

LIKE MAN 

LOST THE FRICKEN RING 

TO FRICKEN TANG 

HOW? HOW DID YOU SCREW THAT UP? 

BRO YOU HAD LITERALLY ONE JOB 

LBD, FIRE HIM 

LIKE WHY DO YOU KEEP HIM AROUND? 

WHAT IS HE FOR 

ALL HE DOES IS BETRAY Y’ALL 

AND WHEN HE AIN’T 

HE’S LITERALLY USELESS 

IT AIN’T NO SURPRISE 

THAT EVERYONE TREATS HIM LIKE SHIT 

Y’ALL NEED TO STOP STANIN 

YOU KNOW THIS SHADOW-LOOKING PRINCESS LUNA KNOCK OFF DESERVE WHAT HE GET 🙄✋🏽

REBLOG TO SUPPORT OC X CANON SHIPPERS

They are valid and deserve more appreciation

Azure Lion: Honestly, why are the people of today are so obsessed with this “top” or “bottom” thing? Why can’t they just be appreciative of the fact that they have a bunk bed?

Macaque:

Lady Bone Demon:

Macaque: I’m gonna tell him.

Lady Bone Demon: Don’t you dare.

Azure Lion: Without ugliness, there’d be no beauty in this world!

Lady Bone Demon: I suppose that’s true. Let us thank Macaque for his sacrifice.

Lady Bone Demon Playlist bc I love her

💙 I don’t have Spotify 💙

Weirdly enough, lot of these are either FNAF songs or Neoni, and ironically, one written by “Bohnes”

I’M Not Sorry - Neoni

Angry Too - Lola Blanc (yes the Gacha song)

This Day Aria - … My Little Pony? It goes hard I promise

Who is She? - I Monster

I Can’t Fix You - The Living Tombstone

Dance to Forget - TryHardNinja

Bad Moon Rising - Morning Ritual (ngl I heard it first on teen wolf, this is from their soundtrack)

You’ve Created A Monster - Bohnes

Here Comes Trouble - Neoni

MACHINE - Neoni

Spooky - Duke Skellington & Kumiho

Bones - Imagine Dragons

Horror Show - CG5

Absolutely Anything - CG5

The Ballad of Mona Lisa - Panic! At the Disco

dumb dumb - Mazie (honestly I think this one suits her the very best, right next to Machine & Horror Show)

If I got an amv or animatic of her to ANY of these songs that would be 🤓 RAD 🤪

Macaque: *Checking supplies for the boat* Compass, check. CB radio, check, sunscreen check-

Azure Lion: Do you have the hot dog costumes?

Macaque: I’m sorry, do I have the what?

Azure Lion: Well, what if we get stranded at sea? One of us might go mad with hunger, and if it’s Lady Bone Demon, we’ll put these on and she won’t eat us because she hates hot dogs!

Macaque: Are you saying that Lady Bone Demon would rather eat us than hot dogs?

Lady Bone Demon: I do hate hot dogs.

Pantheon AU things, Part II

You know what I noticed about the og show?

THAT THE VILLAINS WERE SUPER OVERHYPED AND UNDERUSED.

I’m talking specifically about Lady Bone Demon and Macaque. My babies were some of the most badass characters in their first run, but then you’re- you’re just gonna have them get WIPED LIKE A DIRTY TABLE

“The Samadhi Fire is the only way to defeat the Lady Bone Demon!” BABE WHAT

YOU JUST WENT STRAIGHT IN, NO PLAN, NO WEAPON, JUST WAS ABOUT TO STRAIGHT MURK HER

And don’t even get me started on macaque, like bro was such a good villain in his first two episodes, with all the needless theatrics only meant to screw with MK and all. But then in season 3 they’re like “oh no he’s actually not such a bad guy let’s make him way weaker than he was in his debut episode”

My guy has omnipotent control over shadows. He can sink into them with no problem. He can fly, and even if he couldn’t, he can turn into a bird.

Pray tell, HOW did he get knocked off into a freakin PITCH DARK HOLE, WHEN LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE ON BOARD, WHO, MIND YOU WERE JUST ABOUT READY TO KNEEL OVER, WERE ABLE TO KEEP CATCH ONTO SOMETHING AND KEEP THEIR HOLD???

So yeah in the Pantheon AU (and the “AU where everything is exactly the same but the lady bone demon destroys everyone with facts and logic”) I would like to avoid ruining them like that.

SO YES, I will be using both LBD and Macaque to their full potential, they deserve it, Macaque was goated in season 1 and 2, season 3 macaque…. 😐

He’s nah

Azure Lion Demon, Lady Bone Demon and Macaque? About to be the ILLEST power trio. Watch out, Monkey King 😎

Also LBD, even without me crediting her in full is more powerful in this au bc she doesn’t have to worry about destroying her host’s body because she’s not using one, just her own body.

500 years later, after a lot of plotting and stealing power, Lady Bone Demon says that they can finally enact… the plan 😼

To draw the Monkey King out of hiding, Lady Bone Demon uses her brilliant gaslight gatekeep girlboss skills to manipulate the Demon Bull Family.

She uses her mystical levitation whiz or whatever that is to lift the staff bc I saw her do it like it wasn’t nothing once

And BOOM DBK is free and has an spooky advisor who is definitely plotting something, also becoming best friends with Princess Iron Fan because YES

AWE AND HER BEING A SASSY AUNT TO RED SON, OH NO I LOVE THEM

Ok change of plans because I’m a wimp Demon Bull Family joins the pantheon. Azure lion would like that anyway bc DBK used to be in gang.

except for red son who doesn’t want the world to blow up

Of course Azure Lion, Lady Bone Demon and Macaque are still the main trio 🥰

OOH FAMILY DRAMA I AM ON A ROLL

Azure Lion: It’s impossible to make a sentence without the letter “a”.

Lady Bone Demon: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form sentences without the use of the first letter of the English lexicon. Here is one more to further disprove your theory.

Macaque: F**k you.

Macaque: So, what’s your cat’s name?

Lady Bone Demon: Ebony.

Macaque, yelling to Azure Lion: TRY EBONY!

Azure Lion, on the computer: DIDN’T WORK!

Lady Bone Demon:

Macaque: What’s your favorite number?

Macaque: Lady Bone Demon gave me a “get better soon” card.”

Azure Lion: That’s sweet of her!

Macaque: I wasn’t sick. She just thinks I can do better.

Pantheon AU Things 😍

No particular reason I used this gif 🥰

OK, so here we go, time to do that eh uh, developing thing the kids are talking about nowadays.

In this au, Lady Bone Demon is freed from her tomb by Azure Lion Demon before she has a chance to resurrect Macaque.

Since they have similar goals, Lady Bone Demon reluctantly agrees to team up with Azure Lion Demon.

“Those in the celestial realm don’t care about the world. It’s about time that these people had some new gods.”

“And that god is you?”

He politely asks her to bring back Macaque from the dead so that he can achieve his second goal, which is reuniting his brotherhood.

She really does not want too

I imagine they argued about it for ten minutes consecutively before she yelled FINE

So boom now they’re an incredibly dysfunctional villain trio 💕💕

Azure Lion wants to free his friends from the memory scroll, which I’m assuming once belonged to the Lady Bone Demon (it’s written in oracle bone script, which is often associated with her, it’s also in her colors)

She knows how to use it, but she definitely doesn’t think that they should open it.

She was in a silly goofy mood when she made it 🥰🥰🥰

Macaque, meanwhile, is just looking for reasons to betray them. Any reason he can find. Just… absolutely going out of his way.

On their impromptu journey to get the memory scroll (which is chilling somewhere on Flower Fruit Mountain in Monkey King’s mystical junk room, which luckily, Macaque has access because technically he’s an exact identical genetic clone of Sun Wukong) They slowly start becoming evil besties bc… I love this troupe 🥺

With LBD’s future vision (which I’m just gonna say she has because she seems to have prophetic dreams (?) and is obsessed with destiny) They make a plan 😼

LBD gets to have her perfect world, Azure Lion gets to overthrow the gods, and Macaque gets to fully replace Wukong, everyone’s happy

except for everyone who lives in the world I guess

Lady Bone Demon: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? As in, you just know that someone is going to walk in and make you angry before they do it? Azure Lion: Uh… no? Macaque: *Walks in*

Lady Bone Demon: *Jaw clenches*

And The LMK brainrot continues with a vengeance

BEHOLD, RANDOM PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET WHO MIGHT HAPPEN SEE MY POST, A HALF-BAKED AU I MADE UP JUST NOW

that contains spoilers for Monkie kid season 4 👍🏽

with that, I give you, the 💙 Pantheon AU 💙, I know I’m so good at naming things, anywho, the AU is about a certain three coming together, and becoming the 💕 ultimate villain trio 💕

Lady Bone Demon- Obviously. It isn’t ultimate without her.

Macaque. Less obviously because he got a half-baked redemption arc he didn’t deserve halfway though but also kind of obvious because his gif is on this post.

and finally, drumroll please, AZURE LION DEMON.

in this au, these amazing powerhouses and macaque will come together and form their pact to achieve all of their goals- Revenge on Wukong, creating a perfect world, and destroying the gods. Together, the three of them will become the new gods and govern a perfect world with no hint of pain or suffering, and form the new ✨ pantheon ✨ of the world.

But Macaque’s mostly doing it out of spite.

ANYWAY I WOULD LIKE TO SEE SLOWBURN FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN ALL OF THEM AND LADY BONE DEMON AND MACAQUE CONSTANTLY ROASTING EACH OTHER WHILE AZURE LION DEMON TRIES TO KEEP THE PEACE.

I REQUIRE THIS AU FOR MY PEACE OF MIND. THAT IS ALL.

An Unnecessary Evil

Why are girls allowed to say girlfriend to refer to a platonic friend but boys can't say "this is my boytoy Twink male wife Jason?

another part of the Au “where everything is exactly the same but Lady Bone Demon destroys everyone with facts and logic”

“You’ve been busy.”

Appearing strong when weak was, what Macaque considered a key component when in a bad spot. His “brothers” always considered him the most cowardly among them. Usually, he would roll his eyes and snark that he was rather the most intelligent- able to keep a cool head. He’d need it.

“Tell me,” The Lady’s voice was boundlessly more undone- calm, yet accompanied by a second presence that echoed her words aloud. “What madness overcame you that you would forsake your oath?” She asked, the pitch of her tone dropped.

“When did you decide to betray me?”

The answer to that question was certainly nothing that the bone witch wanted to hear- that he had not a moment of hesitation in tossing her key to the side, not ever any intention of freeing her in the first place. What was he supposed to say? That it didn’t count because he crossed his fingers?

“Listen, Lady Bone Demo-” He started, with a casual tone and a smile laced with nonexistent nonchalance, but The Lady was in no mood to hear whatever seat-of-his-pants lie he was planning to give her.

Sharply, her eyes flickered open, a blue gleam enforcing her stony glare as the winds pushed him back. He had to cover his face, anchoring his foot down to the ground so that he wouldn’t be pushed back by the sheer force.

“Have you forgotten who I am?” Her voice was louder now, and clearer, no longer accompanied by the eerie whispering. “What I am?”

He clenched his teeth at the sound of her voice splitting into many at the last sentence, each one ringing in his six ears.

“Were my instructions, perhaps, unclear to you, Liu’er?” At the mention of his traditional name, he felt similar to a child who’s parent who just called them downstairs with their full name. A fight-or-flight instinct within him begged him to inch away into the shadows, but he knew all too well how that would end.

“Did I cause you pain during your resurrection? Or perhaps, you felt yourself above a task so unbelievably simple as freeing me from my prison tomb,” She said, staring down at him, before vanishing in a blur of blue, before reappearing in front of him, mere inches away from his face just as quickly. “In exchange for something so unbelievably meager as your soul!?”

Again, her voice seemed to contort, and this time, he really did step back, trying to get as far away from her as he could. He stumbled backwards, bumping into the chest of the lady’s puppet, who sent him a wide, unnerving smile that reminded Macaque of a young child amused at a sibling or classmate getting in trouble.

He placed his hand on Macaque’s back, shoving him forward with surprising strength. The wind was knocked out of him for a moment, but he mustered a confident smirk, looking up at the bone demon, who stood before him, arms folded behind her back.

“So…” He said, a conscious effort going into keeping his voice steady, “You want something.”

“From you? No.” The lady said tersely, eyes cooling back into her host’s deep brown ones as she turned away. “There is nothing I have to gain from the presence of someone who is unable to insert a key into a keyhole.”

With her back turned, a white circle opened up beneath Macaque, chains in her signature blue color shooting out of it to entangle his limbs, dragging him inside. “Wait!” He huffed, yanking on the bindings, trying to stay afloat. “So you’re just going to kill me because I didn’t open your stupid cage!? You dragged me all the way out here so that you could get even!?”

The puppet lunged forward, grabbing Macaque by the hair and holding him down, smile wide with giddy anticipation of Macaque’s imposing death (the strange fellow didn’t seem to like him very much). The Lady turned her head, eyes narrow.

“Even?” She echoed, before her lips quirked upwards into a smile, and her brows creased before she let out a shrill laugh.

“If I wanted vengeance, my champion, then I wouldn’t grant you a painless death such as this.” She flickered out of view again, appearing in front of him as she crouched down to meet his eyes, a cold smile decorating the soft features of the child she was possessing- an eerie contrast.

“I would shrink you,” She said, holding her fingers close together to intimate being tiny.

“And find a nice jar to leave you trapped in for a few centuries. I’ll even find a nice blanket in the color of your choice to make sure you never get to look at the face of another sentient being. With that being the alternative, ask yourself,” She leaned down. “Wouldn’t you rather die?”

His lips parted in mild horror- but only for a moment as she leaned away from him. He struggled against the puppet, thrashing about, as if that would save him. “Wait, what do you want!?” He yelled. “I can find Wukong, and his brat too!”

She stood, turning away. “Goodbye, Six-Eared Macaque.” She said coolly. “Your magic will be going towards an excellent cause. You will be much happier in your next life.”

Macaque released a grunt of distress at her retreating form. Was that supposed to reassure him or something?

“Wait!” He yelled, disliking the frantic tone. Was he really about to die? “Damn it, Baigujing, listen for once!” After that, it was silent for a moment. The pull of the chains seemed to ease on his limbs, and the thrall was no longer shoving his head into the pit of doom.

“…You may speak.” She said tiredly, probably of him and his refusal to die with dignity, and baffled with the audacity he had to use her traditional name like they were old chums. “Do be quick about it. I do not have all day to listen to your pointless excuses.”

“Why do you think I didn’t free you? Probably because you never make room for reason in all your crazy ramblings about destiny,” He sneered.

Maybe insults weren’t his best option, but in Lady Bone Demon’s actions, there was always method to her madness. Maybe he could find some way to compromise if he could just get through to her, he could at least get out of this Scott-free.

“Is that so?” She hummed, turning her head to look away. “I suppose you would feel that way. I understand why many try and fight destiny- it is oftentimes cruel. What I do not understand why they fight the only solution to that problem.”

“The only solution is destroying the world?” He snapped. His voice came out a lot less “understanding” than he intended. We’re his acting skills slipping? She chuckled.

“And I suppose you’d prefer I leave it to it’s devices?” She mused. “That I allow war, famine, and crime to endlessly continue when I have the power to stop it all?”

“So you’re a Good Samaritan now? Let me guess, taking over this city was a necessary evil?” He mocked her aristocratic manner of speaking, able to rise to his feet again, as the chains had gone limp.

“Quite correct,” The Lady said, a hint of amusement in her tone. “And you, Six-Eared Macaque? Was destroying this city to get to Sun Wukong a necessary evil?”

He stopped, eyes knitting together at the question. “How do you…”

“My servant made it a point to update me on current events worldwide upon being freed from my tomb.” She answered quickly. He couldn’t see her, but he knew she was smiling.

“Don’t tell me the cat has your tongue now, Liu’er. What happened to all your newfound self-righteousness from before?”

He grit his teeth. “So, I’m not the crème de la crème of purity and goodness.” He said, fists clenched tight enough to draw blood. “You certainly aren’t any better than me. You’re the one who brought me back to life.”

She lightly laughed, and Macaque grew angrier by the second. She was still going to kill him after this, wasn’t she? He needed to get the upper hand, but…

“You’re quite quick to blame others, I notice. I presume that is also my fault that my little host was orphaned in that attack of yours?”

Macaque’s eyes widened. What? “What…?” He repeated his thoughts aloud, no louder than a whisper, but it didn’t go unheard by The Lady.

“I wasn’t trying to…” He trailed off. “But you did.” The Lady finished for him, titling her head upwards as she sighed. “I’ve seen selfishness and hatred far more intense than yours, Six-Eared Macaque.” The wicked amusement she had garnered earlier had faded. She turned to look at him, finally.

Her eyes seemed far too tired, and filled with far too much anger to be on the face of a little girl.

Her tone was cool as she looked above him, at the night sky. “But it will all be over soon.”

For a moment, all was quiet.

“Why’d you pick me?” He asked, after a moment. The Lady, seemingly brought back down to earth, hummed in question. “Anyone could have opened your tomb. But you went out of her way to pluck my soul out of the Diyu, specifically. Why?”

The Lady’s expression morphed into one of annoyance. “You’re only wondering this now?” She asked crossly. His expression didn’t change.

“I had decided not to tell you what I had planned to happen to you in your next life, but I suppose, if it will give you closure,” She hummed. “I can answer your last question.”

She’s really set on killing me… He thought wearily.

“There is one person who exists in this world who, with certainty, will not exist in the new one. Do you know to whom I am referring?”

“Wukong. Right,” Macaque answered. “Yes,” The Bone Lady sighed, closing her eyes. “But in the absence of the Great Sage, there will be a void that will need to be filled.” She spat the words “Great Sage” out as if a worm she’d found in an apple. (He understood finding the title obnoxious. Great Sage, Equal to Heaven? Give me a break.)

A void? Macaque thought for a moment. As in, an empty space that would need to be filled- someone to replace Wukong as the monkey king. MK? But…

Macaque’s head shot up. “You mean-!?” The Lady cut him off with a smile. “Interested now, are we?”

The next thing he knew, the chains were gone.

Au Where Everything is Exactly the Same but The Lady Bone Demon destroys everyone with facts and logic

It’s not even really an au. It’s just me being angry that the show hyped up Lady Bone Demon from the first season just to have her get murked by Sun Wukong.

“Even now, I sense you do not have what it takes to defeat me”. Girl what

So boom, collection of short stories in which I will rewrite scenes with her, and finally the fight between her and Sun Wukong, which will absolutely NOT be written in chronological order!

The first part is here, I will add more as I go.

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Name Calling

Alan Keane from TAWOG is definitely a Lady Bone Demon kinnie and no one can convince me otherwise This might become the first part to an au

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An Unnecessary Evil

Why are girls allowed to say girlfriend to refer to a platonic friend but boys can't say "this is my boytoy Twink male wife Jason? another

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The End

No these beginnings will never have anything to do with the story. Except for this one i guess Did you know that The Lady Bone Demon never

I Got an AU for y’all today.

Behold the 💙 White Lily 💙 Au

The fact that I have yet to see anyone make an au where Lady Bone Demon and her host have a wholesome relationship is a crime against nature, a crime against humanity, AND A CRIME AGAINST ME, SO YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I’M GONNA DO IT MYSELF.

Thus the birth of ✨ The White Lily Au ✨

See I already had this very, very bad write-out attempt of it on wattpad but we’re gonna ignore it because it’s an hour and thirty seven minutes of GARBAGE

Anyhow, in this AU, Macaque does his friggin job for once and frees LBD like he was supposed to, albeit a little tiny bit late. I thought it was weird that the mayor waited 500 years before freeing her if he had the key, so for this au, we got the mayor HUNTING DOWN MACAQUE’S GOOFY SELF and dragging him to that tomb.

“you’re gonna open this tomb and you’re gonna like it, you ding dong dingaling”

So Macaque becomes a whole tomb raider to get the mayor out of his business, watch out LaUrA CRofT

And boom, 400 years early, our girl is back.

Because Macaque was WAY BETTER as a villain we’re gonna keep him that way. In this au, LBD plans to use Macaque to replace Monkey King in her new world, sounded like a good deal to him

But how can LBD complete her very nefarious plans without a proper host? Because she was freed 400 years early, her body hasn’t decayed yet, so she still has her original form, but it’s still pretty weak from imprisonment.

So an idea pops into her head. She should get a host! And since she’s got the extra time on her hands, she can afford to be picky!

She wants a host who’s strong enough to handle her full power, but she also wants a female child, as a disguise and to make people feel bad for trying to attack her. A willing host was preferred but definitely not a necessity. Kind of difficult to have all of those at the same time, so what does she do? She adopts a child, planning to train them to handle her full power so that she can have the perfect host to carry out her plans. She sees only one viable candidate for the position.

but so sorry for her, that candidate is an OBNOXIOUS 💙 GLUTTONOUS 💙 ANNOYING 💙 SPOILED 💙 PRETENTIOUS 💙 WHINY 💙 BRAT 💙 who just RADIATES youngest child energy, and is excellent at WHINING ❤️ COMPLAINING ❤️ THROWING TANTRUMS ❤️OVER THE SMALLEST LITTLE THINGS AND RUINING ❤️ MACAQUE’S LIFE.

LBD has her work cut out for her, because Bai He is a standard spoiled preschooler and the Lady Bone Demon hasn’t even SEEN a child in eons, much less understand them.

Anyhow this AU is adorable, with Macaque as the angsty oldest son, Mayor is the weird middle child and Bai He is the annoying youngest who always gets away with everything while LBD tiredly raises them all.

Name Calling

Alan Keane from TAWOG is definitely a Lady Bone Demon kinnie and no one can convince me otherwise

This might become the first part to an au where “Everything is exactly the same but The Lady Bone Demon destroys everybody with facts and logic”

“You freak! You evil freak!”

The former queen shrieked, trying desperately to claw her way away from her imminent doom. She could scream as many names as she wanted, but there was no escaping her fate.

“You heartless witch!”

The Lady Bone Demon then stopped, turning the innocent dark eyes of her host to meet the Spider Queen’s frazzled form.

“Heartless?” She repeated. She hummed to herself, contemplating the accusation. “Perhaps.” She finally said. “No more so than you, I’d say, but perhaps.”

Th Spider Queen’s earlier gumption slowly faded away as the bone demoness drew closer. “Get away!” She yelled, but her face betrayed the authoritative tone, displaying nothing but utter horror, and the gravity of the situation had only just begun to settle in her gut.

The demoness crouched down, resting her hands on the queen’s shoulders. The coldness of her hands seemed to seep in through her broken armor like ice water. The queen shivered, but even through all her pride and ego, she knew that there was nothing she could do.

The Lady sighed, smile dropping. “This is the problem with the people of this world,” She mused, dragging her nail across the queen’s armored shoulder. “They prefer to rely on their hearts rather than their heads, tossing around abstract, unreasonable concepts like “heartlessness” as if it were confetti.”

The last word differed from the rest of her tone, a hostile sneer as she rose to her feet, golden leaf in hand.

She approached the cauldron, holding the petal in her hands as she gently blew on it, the wind guiding it into the eldritch stew. She folded her hands behind her back, turning to look at the queen.

“I know you are intelligent underneath all that armor, My queen. Perhaps if you had listened to your head instead of being greedy, selfish and ungrateful,” She turned back to glance at the fallen ruler, disdain clouding her eyes as they gleamed a wicked blue. “We would not be here, calling each other names.”

With that, The Spider Queen’s time was up.

Just Joined Tumblr and my first statement is this.

Lady Bone Demon is, effectively, the best character in Lego Monkie Kid, and, effectively, no one will ever convince me otherwise.