I Kinda Like Spring, But Spring Really Hates Me :/

I kinda like spring, but spring really hates me :/

Unfortunately, as of 2001, this is now impossible.

Reagan’s joke. 

Two men, an American and a Russian were arguing. One said,

“in my country I can go to the white house walk to the president’s office and pound the desk and say “Mr president! I don’t like how you’re running things in this country!”

“I can do that too!”

“Really?”

“Yes! I can go to the Kremlin, walk into the general secretary’s office and pound the desk and say, Mr. secretary, I don’t like how Reagan is running his country!”

what if there's extra dimensions science doesn't know about because they are best described via imaginary numbers

Does anyone else think it funny how the eclipse literally heralds the immediate final end of all things wii u?

...OK but same emblem and capitol?? Cmon now

Steve dies and goes to Heaven, where St Peter informs him that he’ll have to share apartment with someone else. 

“You see, it’s getting a bit crowded up here”, St Peter explains.

“What kind of roommate will I get?” Steve asks.

“A gentleman from 14th century Mexico.”

“Medieval Mexico?!” Steve exclaims. “But I’m from 21st century Britain! We’ll have nothing in common!”

“I’m sure you’ll find something to talk about if you try”, says St Peter.

So Steve is shown to his heavenly home and is introduced to a shy, skinny fellow whom he’s supposed to share it with.

“So what did you work as?” asks Steve.

“Peasant”, says the Mexican.

“How was that?”

“Hard.”

“I was a web designer.”

“What’s that?”

“I don’t know how to explain it to you, sorry. Did you have hobbies? Mine was old cars.”

“I don’t understand.”

Thus the conversation continues, both men struggling to keep it going, both fearing an eternity of awkwardness.

Then the Mexican asks: “How did you die?”

“Well…” Steve hesitates. “To be honest, I died because my life had become too difficult for me to handle.”

“Why had it become so difficult?”

“I fell for a pyramid scheme. You see, my heart was stolen by someone who only wanted to use me.”

The Mexican beams with relief. “What a coincidence!”