Alright, I Guess Ive Changed My Mind About The Artemis Fowl Movie

Alright, I guess I’ve changed my mind about the Artemis Fowl movie

This whole movie is just an au that I shall dub “Orion Fowl”

I refuse to believe anything else

Idk why, but I thought of this while reading this:

They say the eyes are the window to the soul, right? Is that why everyone in the dream bubble has white eyes? Is something wrong with their souls?

Maybe that’s just another reason they are the way that they are...

Thinking about the Alpha trolls dead is actually pretty sad. Their coping mechanisms, being forgotten after everything they’d been through (and not getting any part in the Ultimate Reward won from the Alpha kids session)… Aranea’s and Meenah’s fights to stay relevant… it’s heavy.

Something that really sticks for me is how, in the dreambubbles, they’ve built up these walls and facades over the course of eternity that have left them stagnant, spinning their wheels in ruts they’ll never get out of. Maybe this was intentional on Hussie’s part, maybe it wasn’t and they’re really just that 1-dimensional, but that’s how I absorbed it.

Porrim, however, seems a bit more… present? If that’s the word? I don’t know if it has to do with being the Maid of Space or what but like she’s trying to have deep conversations with her friends, but it’s just about as fruitful as slamming her head against a wall repeatedly.

When talking to Kankri in Openbound, she gets kind of exasperated with him? He keeps coming back to all the issues they dealt with on Beforus, some issues that are hardly relevant on Alternia, let alone either iteration of Earth (and not just any one specific conversation). At one point, he outright says “I just don’t want to distract from all the more glaring issues that desperately need the full attention of our people if we are going to make any progress as a civilization,” and Porrim delivers what feels like it should have been a powerful “EVERYONE IS DEAD!!!” Kankri, of course, without hesitation, just responds in his usual manner. He’s blocked out everything that could hurt him, has taken up this purpose of trying to solve issues (in his own way) that don’t even matter anymore.

Again, when Porrim talks to Latula, she comes off as oblivious. Apparently, she didn’t even know much of anything about her post-scratch life, which is fault on her own part. If she was interested, she could have easily learned the story, if not from Terezi (post-retcon, most likely), than someone else. But, Porrim tells her the troubling tale, and she listens somewhat attentively.

In the end, Latula’s just kinda “Huh, that makes sense!” to Porrim’s confusion. When she inquires further, the answers Latula give are, “It just does, babez,” and “Try being a Mind player,” which are, perhaps, the most vague and nondescript answers possible. And she can’t even back it up, because when Porrim asked if she could explain it to her, it was a clear “Nope!” disguised as a “Check out this outstanding healflip!”

Later, Latula does open up to Porrim a bit more, lets the rad girl getup fall away a bit, and she just seems… sad. Sad and tired.

I could talk about each and everyone of them (especially the circles Rufioh and Horuss run around in) but this post is already gonna be long smh

Yall think the gods take classics classes for fun

Okay, so following the whole “Kankri’s seer powers told him that their session was doomed so he told Meenah and she blew them all up” thing:

What if Kankri knew from the very beginning that they were doomed to fail if they didn’t do this quest or meet that person or beat this boss?

What if their timeline became doomed because no one would listen?

I am only two minutes into the Artemis Fowl movie and I am officially deciding that this is nothing more than Mulch making up bs to mess with people.

Okay so idk if YouTuber aus are still a thing anymore but fuck it.

Zukka modern au but it's still set in the atla-verse. Sokka is a YouTuber who probably has idk a popular gaming channel or something I guess, he seems like he'd be That Guy

He talks about his boyfriend sometimes but never in much detail. Like it's just.

"Did I ever tell you about the time my boyfriend brought home like 8 baby turtleducks?"

"My boyfriend's uncle owns a tea shop and as much as I'm a coffee kinda guy, that is the good shit right there."

During a live stream: "DRUK! GET DOWN FROM THERE!" *spray bottle noises* "Sorry, my boyfriend's dragon keeps getting on the table." (Zuko, off-camera: HE'S OUR DRAGON, SOKKA.)

(Dragons are much less rare in this au bc I said so)

It's all very vague. Not purposely, really, it's just that he never has a reason to go into the details of his relationship, as much as he loves Zuko that's not what his channel is about. But then one day he's doing a live stream and he mentions that he's a trained swordsman and half the comments are just something along the lines of "prove it"

And Sokka is not one to refuse a challenge

"HEY JERKBENDER, GET IN HERE! AND BRING YOUR SWORDS!"

Zuko wins the ensuing match, of course, but it's a close one. Later, Sokka's followers will consider apologizing for ever doubting him, but right now all the comments are some variation of "IS THAT THE FUCKING FIRELORD"