Crazy-people-are-here - I_lurk - Tumblr Blog

And despite everything, the world kept turning. The sun still rose and set as it should. And eventually I felt better.

I've attended funerals before, always wanting them to end before they even start because I knew I was gonna cry. I could have hardly knew the person and I still would cry. It always made me feel as if it wasn't genuine. That I was only crying because everyone else was. But going to your funeral, I never wanted it to start. I didn't want it to start cause I knew it meant goodbye. I didn't want to say goodbye to you. Sitting there in that pew felt like the hardest thing to do. I've never wanted to sit through a funeral. But once yours started, I never wanted it to end. I didn't want to say that last goodbye. It hurts too much. Knowing I won't see you again. I won't come through the front door one day and randomly see you sitting there. I won't be able to tell you what I'm doing in guard or theatre. You'll never get to hear what part in the musical I made. You'll never get to play bingo one more time with your sister and niece. Why is losing you so hard? Probably because I never thought I would lose you. I never could have imagined saying goodbye. I didn't want to imagine. I can still see my self as a little girl riding her bike with her cousin right down the road to your house to eat some cheesecake and play cards. I can still remember playing with all the toys in your house, the smell that was so uniquely your house. The nervous just going to the bathroom cause it was down a hallway I normally didn't go down. I still remember vividly the day you didn't go back to that house, the day he moved in instead. The day you went to live with your son and daughter. I saw you less but that was okay because I was still seeing you. You would have loved the fact so many people were together in one place. Like auntie said, this sure is one way to get the family together, just not the right way. You'll be missed. Hell you've only been gone 3 or 4 days and we already miss you so much. It was almost unreal seeing them pick up your casket and put you into that car. The funeral home was gonna wheel you and then slide you in. But don't worry the boys carried you out the door and into the car. I'm trying so hard not to cry because I know you would have fussed at me for it, but it's hard. Your preacher talked at the funeral and he said you'd be at the throne of Jesus and I can't help but agree with him. There isn't a better place for you then right next to our Lord. I guess I just wrote this as a final goodbye. I know it's gonna be hard to get up tomorrow and go to school and seem fine. Hard knowing your not on this Earth anymore. But it hurts a little less knowing you no longer in pain and your happy in heaven. We on Earth may have lost an angel but the Lord sure got one home.

THE WAY YALL BE DESCRIBING THESE MEN HAS ME WANTING TO BE LOVED BY A WRITTERRRRR

BEING IMMORTALIZED FOR EVERYTHING YOU ARE

YOUR APPERANCE

YOUR BEAUTY

YOUR HEART AND YOUR SOUL

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY YOUR SINS AND YOUR FLAWS

YOUR DEEPEST SECRETS

BECAUSE ITS APART OF YOU

BEING A WRITERS MUSEEE IS GOLD STITCHED INTO LIFES ETERNAL POEMMSSS

sometimes a person just needs to be held onto a little tighter than others, so they dont fall apart.

i called this and its exactly what youd expect. so fun oh my god

I'm a crowd full of people, I'd want to choose you, over and over again.

Won't you let me hold you the way you want to be held. Won't you let me run my fingers through your hair as you let all you worries slowly melt away. Won't you cry on my shoulder until it feels safe again. Won't you let me hide you from the world until it's better.

Like clockwork

Tim: What are you doing?

Toby, sitting in front of the fridge at 3am, eating ice cream from the tub with a fork: My best.