Grief Poetry - Tumblr Posts

If it wasn't beautiful, the tragedy ultimately wouldn't be sad.

- Mia Sheridan

I am not the history of absence anymore. — Dion Anja, from Motion Sickness (2022). You can buy it now!

You went away saying you'd come back

My barren eyes left with a lover in mind..

I feel like this was the worst when you were a kid. Everyone was just stupid and immature, and you could understand their feelings and their thoughts in a blink, but if you let a drop of your true ones into a conversation, they all ran and hid, terrified of the black and blue on your heart and the seeping darkness of your head. Because that second grader you play tag with on the playground doesn't want to hear about the words that echo in your head every night, the times you dig your nails into your skin and can breathe a little easier, the night you found your dad sitting on the couch at one in the morning with the most empty, hopeless eyes you'd ever seen. So we laugh and play and learn to act like a kid but we struggle to ever really define friendship because that fake, plastic thing was all we grew up with. And maybe there were other kids on that playground with the exact same thoughts, but we were just too good at what we did to ever find each other. Maybe I'll spend my whole life looking for someone with sad eyes and a bright smile so they can finally understand.

“You cannot make everyone think and feel as deeply as you do. This is your tragedy … because you understand them, and they do not understand you.”

— Daniel Saint

A gentle breeze blew away her ashes,

While her soul fought with strong winds.

May she rest in peace and

live in eternal joy and glory.

~nightskies-poetry

I cant sleep but

the birds aren’t singing yet.

I try and count the seconds between

cars passing on the road near my windowsill

17, 18, 19, 20..

I don’t feel reassured by the silence

because there’s so much noise in my head.

there’s a voice in my head that isn’t mine

taunting me

saying over and over again,

“he’s dead, he’s dead, he’s dead.”

I tried to wake my wife up

I told her,

my voice shaky,

my eyes filled with tears,

she said, “Casey, shit happens like this all the time. I’m trying to sleep.”

I felt nothing before,

now I feel less than nothing.

how many times can I allow my heart to be broken?

not just by others,

but by me as well?

I don’t recognize the person I have become.

It’s 3:30 in the morning.

I feel like a ghost.

I force the loneliness and despair out of me,

but it’s thick like tar.

I file this loss, this pain, this grief, with the other ones.

I don’t know how much more I can take.

there’s a secret door in my chest that leads to my heart where I keep the key.

I return it, close the door, and feel numb again

I wanted to cry for him

I wanted to cry for me

I really hope God knows how angry I am

How full of resentment I am.

everyone kept telling me that it would get better

I light a cigarette and wonder.

I wonder where 34 years went.

wasted, wasted, wasted.

I guess I spent too much time playing god

instead of praying to god but please,

I can’t handle much more.

no one should have to carry this much pain.

I will suffer but you have to trade me.

give me back some of the good memories

and I will shoulder the burden of loss.

let me be able to smile when I miss them.

I’ll do anything.

just let me remember.

Beautiful Bones 🦴 (my death and grief movie and lana del rey music video)

God Bless Me 🕊️ (my soft goth style look book and emo girl poem reading)

.

•

.

my poem:

Why does no one like me?

Am I not pretty

Was I easier to love when I was 13

Scruffy face and soft thighs

Rigid thoughts and crooked teeth

I’m fixated on someone who isn’t alive

Dreaming of a better me

Leaves me feeling lonely

Ripped soles, ripped soul

I’m already bleeding

Jab the steel in deeper

Fingers like metal

Cold and boney

Artificial Intelligence

What’s the point of living

Don’t mind me

I forgot the world exists outside of me sometimes

Shy and nervous

I’m scared and anxious

Just ignore me

I forget there’s other people breathing

Don’t wanna be seen

Stop looking at me

I’m fake hair and too much eyeliner

Walking past the beach

I’m used to puddles and jagged streets

Never been somewhere where I could just be me

Stare at me but I just don’t care

Dark Chocolate

I’m not as sweet as you think

Not as dark as I seem

My scopes so small

And my eyesights pretty bad

I’m pretty in the mirror

Behind the digital camera

But never in person

Kiss me til I can’t feel my toes

Heaven Is For Real

Ain’t just a movie

Living in hell

Is just another Tuesday for me

Who wears boots to the beach?

A hipster wannabe

Is all I’ll ever be

But hey, at least the boys think I’m sexy

Dirty blondes

Oversized tank tops

Sweaty, so shiny

You’re the highlight of my day

I wish I could be under you

As I pass by with my head down

Dodging eyeballs

As if they were bullets

I don’t give smiles out for free

Unless you entice me

Little kids building sand castles

As big brother kicks them down

That’s life for you

God loves you

But only on Sundays

Melted ice cream

I’m dripping for you too

I can’t accept your drink

I don’t let my guard down just for anybody

Unless a paycheck is involved

I only see me

And I’m not used to giving in

Expensive Prescriptions

Big fake teeth

We don’t belong here

Yet i try so hard to fit it

In a place so temporary

Would god mind if we shared a sin?

.

•

.

poem: God Bless Me by dark baby, (2023).

it's been quite some time. so much emotion and movement happening, yet i still feel as though i've been at some standstill. waiting ... for what exactly? i wouldn't even begin to be able to utter the words to you. perhaps i'll use the most obvious excuse. that being, i've been running away from the idea of self -- whatever that should mean, better yet, look like.

these days, finding the time to unravel and weave the mingling thoughts that swim ferociously within my mind ... seem to be that of luxury. i crave to hide away so that i may find my thoughts and piece them up like once before.

i once knew of love —

little one, how you have grown. how you have hurt. turning towards your sins - nurturing your rage.

i gaze upon the heart, allowing my face to rest against your punctured wounds. i weep, as you suffocate the seed of purpose. why must you run to the water? - do you search for the bottomless pit? in hopes that blu will become black and black consume your restless soul?

i awoke. thinking of your childlike presence. recalling the smile which shimmered in iridescent hues - overwhelming the lips, as laughter spewed beyond the spirit and into the air.

i recalled the mother who held her first born, rejoicing in tongues. mesmerized with love, as her reflection mirrored her in infancy. i recalled her … as my heart beats for you, thumping heavily.

dear friend, i suppose in your sadness you have not heard the opening of windows and the swinging of doors. i pray for your weakened heart and the bitterness which has wrapped your soul. might you ask the stars above for strength or have you forgotten? … purpose lingers at the draw of your breath.

nostalgia somehow always takes over

i slowly opened up my heart and carved it out to give to him just for him to place it in some corner to collect dust.

yes. i see you in everything. i hear the drawing of your breath in the ever changing hues of the sky. the warmth of your gaze blankets every corner i wander. wherever my feet collide, you somehow manage to uproot your love there. how is that so? how can this be?

and no. i cannot escape you.

as soon as i begin to think i’m moving on from you, i see you in my dreams. then the cycle of despair and heartbreak repeats.

some days i simply wish we never crossed paths. because even though this love is all consuming and nothing more beautiful i’ve ever experienced. what am i to do with it ,if you can never love me back?

i hate how i worship you. i hate how i’ve inflicted pain upon myself, carving a whole so deep within my heart that only you can fill. i despise myself for creating a shrine of your presence that i have buried deep within my soul. you are in the very air i inhale and with every breath i draw, you somehow have made way to appear. how is this so? what dark spell have you placed on my poor soul?

the beginning of love or the beginning of heartbreak (?)

hidden beneath the soil : created in the image of the earth

was my nature and love unmemorable? were my features faceless? i wonder, was i so quick to fade from your memory?

i suppose you’ve already forgotten about me.