Criticalsexualitytheories - Untitled

a lot of gay fic written by gay men i've read also have bad unhealthy sex practices (no lube at all ever is very common) so wow i guess this shit might have more to do with bad education/lack of research in general rather than evil women authors not caring. like honestly most of the "bad woman author" shit could be fixed thru education instead of kicking em out. in fact disseminating safe sex info more so ppl don't apparently gotta learn from FUCKFICTION would be uh a good idea

but all people have weird ideas about sex and how it’s done, it’s not a limited population category thing. women are copping the brunt of this dumb discourse because the discoursees are applying some really shallow readings to content on two sites, where the content is generated by women by a huge margin over any other gender, and making some hogwild logical leaps to end up endlessly circling the mlm discourse echochamber.

occasionally you’ll luck out by bedding some fuck shaman who opens your third eye through the power of labe grinding your armpit or whatever, but Regular Guy and Population Median Woman probably know diddly shit beyond PIV and anal on birthdays. sex ed sucks beyond ‘don’t do it/this is a condom on a banana/from the front the uterus-womb-ovary complex looks like a buffalo kinda’, live action porn is stuck in a one-upmanship overton window shift (except, y’know, for sex), and sex positive material online is like a infinite house of mirrors except every reflection shows you erica moen advising you to stick a lamp up your ass

and that’s just the cisgender hets bumbling their way around. 

finding out info about what the hell to do and how to do it if you’re gay is hard, and damn near impossible if you’re not cis and probably juggling an extra course load of terminology, body perception, and having to do a 101 How Not To Talk About My Junk to every Brock and Chriss on Scruff.

when all the material out there is basically boiling down getting that dick into a hole as the ultimate goal, it’s a wonder that anyone is even writing anything other than ‘he shoved it in, he came’. 1-2-3-dick is formulaic but man, that it’s even around enough to become formulaic is new. 

‘straight girls write anal wrong! they don’t know anything about anal!’ well i mean without getting into the whole thing of yes it’s possible to have comfortable anal penetration with spit, yes it’s possible to have comfortable anal penetration with nil or extremely fast minor fingering, no your o-ring will not blow out and prolapse if you take a pounding without 40 minutes of getting tenderly fingered with free trade lube handmade by monks in the peruvian alps, etc etc etc (i.e. every thing some sanctimonious chucklefuck will grandly declare as absolutes) but lmao women absolutely know about anal. a quick glimpse at cosmo magazine will tell you that. a quick glimpse at fuckin’ pornhub will tell you that. straight women do anal, lesbians do anal. every population microselection you can name has been getting pleasure from the asshole for as long as human beings have had assholes!!!

‘straight girls only write about penetration! real gay people frot and grind!’ again: PIV/PIA is everywhere. EVERYWHERE! gay porn is penetration focused! straight porn is penetration focused! romance stories with a regulation fade to black cut imply penetration! the popular concept of what constitutes sex itself is based on penetration! you can’t get furious at someone for doing a thing when everything around them is doing the same thing!

everyone is stupid about sex. sometimes people get less stupid. sometimes people get brave enough to actually ask for what they want. i really can’t fault anyone for not having every intricacy of boning nailed down straight out of the gate but if the alternate is going ‘women are harming me by not faithfully depicting ultimate best practice safe sex in their fiction written for the purpose of hopefully getting the reader off, and for that sin they’re all b*tches who will never understand what it’s like to be sexualised or objectified :( :(*’ then god, just end it. 

anyway i got totally off track from your ask, but yes, 100% i am supportive of more sexual education that isn’t based solely around cis bodied reproduction and how to avoid it/recognise it, but amatuer erotica is not the venue to get educated and it’s unreasonable to demand that it should be en masse. that doesn’t mean people can’t strive for good practice and authenticity or whatever. if it works for you then shit yeah, make gloving up a feature, go nuts, the only way to normalise something is by including it, but the smarmy attitude of ‘if you don’t include items a through f, practices 1 through 4 and do my towers of hanoi puzzle to decode the Problematic Content Of The Day then you’re a homophobe who is actively hurting and fetishising smol mlm beans and you deserve to be hounded’ is just… nah. nah, nah. nah.

you know, this entire slashcourse could be cut off at the knees if every time someone said ‘but no REAL gay man writes x, y, z’ their browser was force directed to nifty.org with a posting ban until they do a book report on a randomly selected story.

*’women don’t understand sexual objectification’ is a phrase i read with my own gay eyes on a yaoicourse blog and i had to stare out of the window for a while to absorb the goddamn audacity of it.

I’m not gonna pretend I spend a lot of time giving Erica Moen attention but the other issue with her comic is that it prides itself on going deep and discussing the hows and whys behind fetishes when it fucking doesn’t.

For instance, let’s talk about Cuckolding.

The current idea of what a ‘cuck’ is is pretty different from what it was. It used to be that ‘cuckolding’ described a marriage/household where instead of being traditionally male-run with a supportive/submissive wife, the husband was relatively powerless and the wife attended to her affairs as she pleased, from socializing, to spending money on whatever she desired, to sleeping with whomever she wanted. It used to be about women. Do you remember old cartoons with that stereotype of the large, rich wife who bosses her little husband around and makes him carry all her shopping boxes while she casually drapes herself with yet another fur she made him pay for (because all of the household’s funds are basically her own)?

That’s cuckolding.

Now it’s all about men and specifically it is a fetish largely driven by fear of male inadequacy based on penis size. Most all of it boils down to “my wife deserves a bigger dick/someone bigger and stronger should please her/I can’t do anything to stop my wife from sleeping with someone else because I’m too insufficient and weak”

Which leads to the fact that most cuckold fantasies lean largely on BBC stereotypes and the fetishization of Black men which also supports the ‘Black Brute’ stereotype by turning it into a fantasy. Because that’s what a lot of fetishes are: irrational fears and anxieties one becomes so fixated on/obsessed with that the mind copes by turning fear into arousal. The broader recent resurgence of the ‘fetish’ has really become little more than an insult and has been completely divorced from having anything to do with a subversion of patriarchal households. It went from that to racist fetishization and phallocentricism with with the woman used as a prop to being a proxy for homophobes to explore their male-attracted fantasies (I cannot tell you how central ‘oh  no I’m being SO thoroughly humiliated by the stunt dick my girlfriend prefers that now I have to suck his dick…for her! and eat his cum…for her!’ is to all of this with clients) to just being boiled down to some purely patriarchal nothingness about how either cucks are super brave (girl…anyway..) or closet ‘betas’ because they don’t think daterape is cool.

But Erica ain’t say that shit, did she?

Does she talk about how many men specifically developed their ABDL leanings because of an inability to deal with responsibility? Or how many (LITERALLY MOST OF THEM) BDSM fetishes come from ‘a thing you accidentally saw your mom/dad/sibling do when you were a kid’? Or how many of them exist because so many people see pain as more accessible and deserved than affection? Or how many people use fetish interactions as a replacement for platonic emotional bonding because they can’t get it?

Madness and witchery as well as bestiality are conditions commonly associated with the use of the female voice in public, in ancient as well as modern contexts. Consider how many female celebrities of classical mythology, literature and cult make themselves objectionable by the way they use their voice. […] Putting a door on the female mouth has been an important project of patriarchal culture from antiquity to the present day. Its chief tactic is an ideological association of female sound with monstrosity, disorder and death.

Anne Carson, The Gender of Sound

honestly scary how “i dont want to have sex but ill do it to please my partner” is normalized as like a healthy valid even cute thing. like consensual doesnt intrinsically mean healthy. both people involved can have the absolute best intentions but if one person is just going thru the motions or doing it to please their partner that is REALLY bad and unhealthy.

Why you mocking a sex positivity comic? Also shut up and get the fuck out Van, I'm gonna fuck you wife now.

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