Smash Or Pass But Its Pretty Much The Entire BrBa Cast And Im Adding My Weird Headcanons (queer Edition)

smash or pass but it‘s pretty much the entire BrBa cast and i‘m adding my weird headcanons (queer edition)

please don’t take this too seriously, these are my preferences and most of the headcanons are obviously jokes. 18+ please!!

Walter White: hell nooo he worked with n*zis and wears those tighty whities. definitely needs pills to get it up

Saul Goodman: smash, i feel like he‘d call me mommy. minus points bc he‘d make dad jokes during it.

Jesse Pinkman: 1000% SMASH HES SO FINE!! would smoke in bed with me after. i feel like he has piercings down there too, don’t ask why. definitely whimpers

Skyler White: had to think abt it a little but i‘d smash, misunderstood queen. lots of aftercare too

Hank Schrader: hard pass. he‘s a cop and has the personality of a paper bag.

Gus Fring: sure! more of a hookup though because i can’t imagine him being kind and gentle. he‘d say no cuz he‘s gay fr

Mike Ehrmantraut: probably not what you guys wanna hear, but smash. call it a guilty pleasure, ik that guy has experience. would focus on my needs first. i‘d do it in his car

Jane Margolis: yes omg are you kidding?! her style is everything and she’s genuinely so hot, i‘d gay panic being in the same room as her. definitely uses toys

Walter Jr: pass, too young for me and i don’t find him that attractive

Marie Schrader: smash! she‘s genuinely so sweet and pretty, perfect balance. hank didn’t deserve her

Todd, Jack and co: hardest pass, i don’t think i have to explain why. would go on about how women don’t deserve rights when they’re on top of me

Tuco Salamanca: no, he scares me. probably into knife play or some weird shit

Skinny Pete: yes! he‘s an acquired taste guys

Badger: probably? this is a hard one, smash if i got paid like 50 bucks. for free if it‘s with pete. but i‘d definitely go on a date with him

Steven Gomez: pass bc he‘s a cop. if i had to choose between him or hank i‘d choose him any day tho

Hector Salamanca: pass, no disrespect. rip Mark

Lydia Rodarte-Quayle: i‘m anxious 24/7 so her nervous attitude would make it impossible for me to enjoy it. she‘d accidentally insult me during it in some way

Gale Boetticher: smash because i love his personality. he‘s a keeper, husband material. lasts 2 minutes :(

Combo Ortega: pass i like him but not like that fr

Ted Beneke: hard pass. wouldn’t shut up abt his stupid company for five minutes. he makes really weird sounds during it and asks if you came right after (u didn’t)

Eyebrow Guy: i like hair but not like that

Andrea Cantillo: yesss baby bring it on. easily one of the pretties characters. sadly her personality wasn’t shaped out well in the show

Gretchen Schwartz: i feel like she‘s too smart for me don’t ask why. would absolutely reject me

Elliot Schwartz: maybe if he wears a hat to hide those big ass ears. i‘d do it if he paid me tho

Wendy (blonde meth head): seems very sweet and i love her style but i‘m a fan of hygiene and her teeth are not it

Carmen Molina (principal): yeah i guess, she‘s pretty

Huell & Kuby: pass bc they‘re silly little guys. only come package deal

Donald Margolis: sad guy but seems very sweet. smash? he cries when he finishes

Salamanca Twins: probably never had sex ed, lots of uncomfortable stares… pass

Krazy-8: i don’t remember much of him but going off looks, smash

Jesses Therapy Group Leader: pass, he has those crazy killer eyes

hope you enjoyed! :D

You'd think jesse only had one girlfriend given how much people talk about Jane on here and how little they remember Andrea's existence

oh my GOD💀these filters are not working

video bc my phone is broken and screenshots don‘t work😎💪

The way all Jesse wanted was to have people want him around and not think he’s worthless and then as the story progresses he is wanted by everyone but only as a resource with an expiration date and his worth is incalculable but only monetarily and he’s more dehumanized and abused than he’s ever been… something ab how the values associated w toxic masculinity are fundamentally counterproductive to the pursuit of genuine human connection

Broke: Walter White became Heisenberg when [insert specific scene of choice]

Woke: Walter White was always Heisenberg deep down

Bespoke: Walter White never became Heisenberg because, while the alias symbolically stands for his moral decline within the story, to Walter himself Heisenberg was an unattainable personification of what he considered aspirational masculinity. Traditional patriarchal ideas about manhood are ludicrously divorced from how real people function: In the world of a "Heisenberg", women and children are reduced to near property, to an extension of the self and a source of ego growth, while other men are reduced to competitors in an imagined hierarchy. A "Heisenberg" is invincible. He is always right, always respected, and always comes out on top eventually. In order to believe in the illusion that a "Heisenberg" can exist in the real world, can be embodied by oneself, a man must let his compassion and vulnerability be eclipsed by the need to win against a perceived omnipotent threat of being emasculated - Effectively isolating himself from healthy connections and coping methods and leaving him with only that very struggle. Walter's downfall at the end of the series serves as a wake-up call that reveals to him, and reinforces to the audience, that he has been living in a male power fantasy which was bound from day one to shatter eventually.

⚠️Breaking news⚠️

Jesse Pinkman spotted at Claire’s about to get his top surgery and one free piercing.!

Claire’s x Jesse Pinkman collab coming soon ! Jesse is so excited to release his new line called Breaking Gendernorms