He Sat At The End Of The Table In A High Chair Looking Awfully Sad. His Eyes Were Gleaming, But He Didn't

He sat at the end of the table in a high chair looking awfully sad. His eyes were gleaming, but he didn't cry, only looked without seeing. He trembled ever so slightly, when I put my hand on his. When no one said anything for a long time, finally I took a seat to his left and poured us both some tea. It smelled mild, swirled with dark herbs, like the brew itself were also sad. Everything looked delicious, but in the end no one had a bite.

After everyone had left, when I'd gathered the dishes and was blowing out the candles, he spoke. Though his voice was quiet as the rustling wind, it startled me. 'I should have noticed' he said. I blinked. A million things rushed through my mind. All wrong things to say. 'I should have noticed, Alice' he repeated, raising his eyes to look at me. He was at the brink of shattering. Suddenly he stood, whisked everything in arms reach off the table, and fell back again. Then, after being closed off for so long, he could finally cry. 'We could have..' His voice broke. The shatters of porcelain crunched under my step. I knelt. I took his hands, and kissed them, but I felt empty.

left - vasen right - oikea

I write with my left hand. Kirjoitan vasemmalla kädellä.

Turn left at the corner. Käänny kulmasta vasemmalle.

Do I sit on their right? Istunko hänen oikealla puolellaan?

2022

January

finished: 2 books | avg. rating: 3.5 stars favorite: Keskeneräisten Tarujen Kirja 1980 by J.R.R. and Christopher Tolkien

February

finished: 0 books. Scandalous, I know.

March

finished: 5 books | avg. rating: 3.2 stars favorite: The Gods of Mars 1913 by Edgar Rice Burroughs

it's tough tho, I've enjoyed the Barsoom books more than I expected from 20th century pulp

April

finished: 1 book, which I rated 3/5 stars, and refuse to call a favorite

May

finished: 4 books | avg. rating: 3.0 stars favorite: Phantom of the Opera 1910 by Gaston Leroux

June

finished: 2 books | avg. rating: 4.0 stars favorite: Jazz 1992 by Toni Morrison

July

finished: 2 books | avg. rating: 2.5 stars favorite: The Scarlet Letter 1850 by Nathaniel Hawthorne

August

finished: 4 books & an unhealthy amount of research papers | avg. rating: 3.5 stars favorite: Kultaraha nurkan alla 2000 by Maria Vuorio

September

finished: 3 books | avg. rating: 3.33..3 stars favorite: The Master and Margarita 1967 by Mikhail Bulgakov

there goes my 22 reading goal. this has been a comfortable phase, I think next year I'll try for 50, if my situation doesn't drastically change.

absolutely adored the Devil's Lot visiting Moscow, too <3

October

finished: 2 books (I think) | avg. rating: 3.5 stars favorite: The Vampire Lestat 1985 by Anne Rice

November

finished: 3 books | avg. rating: 3 stars favorite: Of Mice and Men 1937 by John Steinbeck

December

finished: 2 books & lots of shorts | avg. rating: 3.5 stars favorite: how to compare..

That's it, final update! 30/22 books finished. No doubt The Master and Margarita was the most fun I had this year. 2023 here

Week’s reads with pictures | my (unsatisfying) Goodreads profile

One day she walked in, and just never walked out. I'd like to say she changed my life, but it's much the same. I work at one of those old everything-stores, with the owner, who's like a hundred years old & made of steel. He owns my apartment too, so I live in it, pay=rent, and live mostly on coffee & de-shelved snacks. Occasionally I get some extra cash flipping things I find lying around & fix. It's amazing how much stuff you can carry out of parties, once you just get accepted as the guy who hauls junk around. She's the girl who makes mixtapes for her outfits. Or maybe it started the other way round, I'm not sure. What I do know is mr. Steel's place has never seen this many extravagant coats. He likes her, 'cause she wears sturdy shoes and an infectious smile. I like her, 'cause even tho nothing's changed, with her I don't feel like it needs to.

~𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔪𝔦𝔡𝔡𝔩𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔞𝔫 𝔢𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔬𝔤𝔲𝔢, 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔴𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔬𝔨 𝔱𝔬 𝔢𝔫𝔡