THIS I LOVE AND HATE AT THE SAME TIME

THIS I LOVE AND HATE AT THE SAME TIME

something about angst with cheol

— find you again, choi seungcheol.

true!!! absolutely LOVE reading you guys' comments or tags in reblogs and stuff!! you got no idea how much it makes my entire day and brings a huge smile to my face!!!🫶

To my readers:

If your comment is long and rambling and full of quotes you enjoyed, I will love it.

If your comment is full of story related questions, I will love it.

If your comment is a single sentence, I will love it.

If your comment is a single emoji, or a string of them, I will love it.

If you comment, I will love it. It's that simple.

this has made me realise that I might have a soft spot for chan

heads up! food.

"do you want to see how much they love me?" you can hear chan before you see him, vernon and seungkwan next to him. he steps ahead of them so that he can approach you first, glancing down at the little meal in front of you. he sits down across from you, calling your name in a cute voice. "can i have a dumpling?"

you don't even hesitate. not when his friends are right there, and you know you'll get a laugh from vernon (if not both). "nope."

chan gawks at you, genuine disappointment in his eyes as his friends cackle. everyone knows that you don't share food unless you truly like someone. your boyfriend is one of those people who gets to take whatever he wants when he asks... except for this time.

vernon sits down on your other side, still grinning: he knows you. you saw the opportunity and you took it, which is probably your right as chan's partner to tease him the same way all his friends do. "hey," he looks at you. "can i have a dumpling?"

you're already pushing the tray over for him to take one. "of course, pookie."

chan's already sputtering in shock, watching as vernon takes a dumpling from your lunch. "pookie?!"

"our boo, do you want one, too?" you slide to toward seungkwan, who gladly accepts one and thanks you for it. you pull the tray back to yourself, picking up the last dumpling with your chopsticks.

chan's just staring you down like a kicked puppy. "honey..." he pouts. "my love...?"

you think you break a little too easily when it comes to chan. you extend your chopsticks to him instead. "fine, my dumpling," you roll your eyes playfully. "if you insist." yet the moment he sinks his teeth into it, you speak up again. "but you have to buy me more, then."

chan's smile falls slightly, but he's already getting up again to make a beeline toward the stall. he hears the way you laugh, so content with getting to mess with him just a little, but he doesn't mind it. not when it's you.

feeling this as an only child. as someone who doesn't remember much of her childhood, because she didn't have anyone to share it with. as someone who thinks thrice before speaking and then decided to not speak about it anyway. someone who still has the imaginary friends she created when she was little.

having someone like seungcheol here would be the biggest blessing someone like me could ever have. still waiting for it

"you deserve way better than this", seungcheol says beside you. his attention is on the road in front of him as he drives, so he doesn't actually realize the moment you look at him.

you watch him, dressed in all black, golden watch in his left wrist, brown fluffy hair pushed back by his sunglasses. he's driving his amazing, expensive car, looking glorious at 28 years old - it looks like he has everything figured out, while you clearly haven't got there yet.

"and i mean it", he insists when you don't say anything. "you always take care of everyone around you - hell, you even take care of me -, so you don't have to do this if you don't want to. it's your life we're talking about, if they really care about you they will understand you."

it was so much easier said than done, right? as your best friend, cheol knows everything that's going on in your life; he's your number #1 supporter, always ready to cheer for you, to scold you when needed, to laugh and cry with you at any moment. it only seems natural, for him, to think that that's the standard for you, what you deserve. but you know better than that - you know not everyone will love you and protect you and understand you like he does.

and that includes your family.

"it's not that simple, cheol", you shake your head. "they need me, so i gotta help."

"you always help, yn!"

"well, because they've always helped me too!"

"and that's the point you're missing", seungcheol sighs. "if you tell me you're fine doing whatever they need you to do, that you're 100% sure, then it's okay - i'll even help you. but if it's gonna mess up your life, make you helpless, but you're still doing it because you feel like you owe them something, then it's my job to intervene and tell you to get your shit together."

it's your time to sigh, looking straight ahead at the road.

"they're your family, i get it, i love them too. but you can't. solve. people's. problems", seungcheol slightly hits the steering wheel at every word, just to make his point clearer.

"they need me to be the big person, so that's what i'm gonna do", you reply, crossing your arms.

cheol sighs one more time - he isn't surprised, to be honest. you're just as stubborn as he is, just as tough as he is, and that's why you two work so well as best friends, as siblings, almost.

"you're always the big person", he whispers, defeated. because he knows how tiring it can be, to be the adult, to take care of people, to solve everything when the ones who should be solving it act like kids.

but he's your best friend, after all. so he wasn't going anywhere, not when you would probably need him the most.

a/n: this is for everyone who's an only child and has to be the voice of reason sometimes, take care of your family sometimes, make decisions and take responsibilities you shouldn't need to sometimes. we got this. you ain't alone. ❤️🍒

warnings: reader has bad leg cramps. mentions of wanting marriage.

before you even know he’s awake, seungcheol is already moving to flip you onto your back.

leg cramps, unfortunately, are common for you. you think it has to do genetics or something (your dad always had horrible ones, and thus you grew up with the same) and less with what you do in your day-to-day life. seungcheol typically sleeps through them, though: you’ve become really good at staying quiet when they hit and massaging your own calf. there’s the rare nights where he wakes up and realizes what’s going on…

and then there’s mornings like this, where he’s awake before you even register what’s happening, and he flips you over like a rag-doll to get to the calf you’re trying to massage (when it’s not the one he can reach easily, that is).

“it’s okay,” he whispers a few times, fingers kneading at the tight muscle. something about this cramp makes you whimper, but he doesn’t let up, working at the tension. “just breathe, honey.”

you try. he continues to massage your calf beyond when the tension dies down, the pain subsiding a little. it’ll be sore when you walk on it, sure, but you can cope with that. 

“better?” he asks, a tender look in his eyes. he cares so deeply for you, and it shows in every little thing he does.

you think, in this moment, of how badly you want to marry him right now.

you beckon him forward instead, and he lets go of your leg. drawing him in for a kiss, you smile. “yeah. better.”

SEVENTEEN - S.COUPS