THIS I LOVE AND HATE AT THE SAME TIME

THIS I LOVE AND HATE AT THE SAME TIME

something about angst with cheol

— find you again, choi seungcheol.

heads up! pregnant!reader (still referred to with they/them pronouns in the only instance pronouns are used for reader). some sexual implications, but it goes nowhere. husband!cheol <3

the moment you see seungcheol step back into the bedroom, his shoulders slump as exhaustion hits him like a train. things have been... rough to say the least ever since your son (almost three) learned he's getting a little sister. the terrible twos are a thing, sure, but you'd hoped that maybe he'd get used to the idea a bit more over time... instead he's been trying to figure out how to get rid of her (naming people she could go live with, mainly) before she's even here.

seungcheol flops onto the bed, and then moves in closer so that he could rest his head in your lap. "i think he's scared we won't love him as much." he lets out a long sigh. "we'll keep talking to him about it."

"mmhm." you reach down, running a hand through his hair. "he'll come around. he's just stubborn like his dad."

seungcheol gives you a slightly annoyed look--not because you said it, but because it's true--and turns over to press a kiss against your bump. "they're being mean to me again," he says with a pout. "haven't i dealt with enough today?"

you roll your eyes a little. "i think once she's here and he realizes that he's still going to get equally spoiled by his uncles, he'll calm down."

"mhm." seungcheol is only half-listening now. he's too fixated on your bump, tracing his fingers over your shirt, too caught up in his own thoughts. he did the same when you were expecting your son: always gazing at you with this soft look in his eyes, all too tender. he'd been a bit more of a mess of nerves the first time around, but equally as loving.

"cheollie?"

"i love you," he says, and you aren't sure who he's saying it to now. "both of you," his gaze flits up to meet yours. he pushes himself up so that he can lean in to kiss you.

yet the moment you think it might lead somewhere, you hear tiny feet rushing down the hallway. before the door opens, seungcheol is already pouting--not again--but it's gone by the time he turns around to face his son. he's already getting back up to ask what's wrong as he scoops the kid into his arms, shooting you a sorry smile when he looks back. he'll make it up to you sometime...

but you don't mind it, actually. not when you get to see your husband this loving with your son. instead, you decide to follow after them instead, just to feel happy with the growing family that you've created together.

— grocery list, choi seungcheol.

angst | 1.7k

inspired by

i swear somewhere this works

in a parallel universe or another world or a different life,

we sit across from each other

at the kitchen table

and go over the grocery list.

— trista mateer, the dogs i have kissed

your mind was wandering again, you’re aware, but you can’t help that all the neatly lined up colourful cereal boxes remind you so much of him — of the last moments of your happiness.

“i’m going to make it my life mission to try all the cereals in the world,” seungcheol announced as he pushed the cart down the aisle.

he stopped to pick up a box of limited edition froot loops, inspecting the back of the box before dropping it into the cart.

you stood on the other end of the aisle watching him with the fondest smile on your face. this was the exact moment you’d realised you found contentment in your little grocery shopping dates. you had thought it was silly how something that seemed so insignificant was capable of putting you in such a state of pure bliss. you remember thinking everything he did was so endearing to you and you thought this would be it. he was the one. this was the man that would be your forever. you were so sure of it.

you’re brought back to reality when your cart hits another cart that was turning the corner and the impact sends you jolting forward.

“i’m so sor—” you choke on your words when your gaze lands on the face of the man standing before you. “s-seungcheol?”

his eyes widen when he realises it’s you that’s in front of him.

“y/n?”

“hey seungcheol,” you force a smile then looks at the ground to avoid his eyes. your heart starts racing so fast you think you’re actually going to pass out at any moment.

he clears his throat, a habit of nervousness, and the sound makes you look up at him again.

“i didn’t expect to run into you here.” if you weren’t paying attention you would have missed the slight tremble in his voice.

“uhh yeah i still live in this neighbourhood actually.”

he nods with a nearly inaudible hum then there’s an awkward silence before he speaks again.

“do you maybe want to go somewhere and catch up? it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.” he suggests hopefully.

you shouldn’t, you know you shouldn’t. but you answer before you can stop yourself. “i’d love to.”

you find yourself in the small, cozy cafe you and him used to frequent after your many grocery runs.

“the usual?” he asks as you pull one of the chairs out.

you nod and he quickly makes his way to the counter.

“calm down, calm down,” you chant to yourself quietly, taking deep breaths in between while settling into the cushioned seat of the chair.

it was easy to convince yourself you had moved on when you were alone in your dark room, but now that seungcheol was in front of you it was a different story.

seungcheol returns to the table with two mugs and places one in front of you. “two sugars right?”

your heart skips a beat at the fact that he remembers something about you, even if it was just a minor detail, and you can’t help but feel pathetic at the realisation.

you nod again, not really trusting yourself to speak, afraid that your voice might betray you.

he takes a sip from his mug. “how have you been y/n?”

“horrible, awful, absolutely miserable,” the words run through your thoughts but ultimately you decide to go with “i’ve been fine.”

he gives you a smile, one that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “i’m really glad to hear that.”

you wrap your hands around the mug, hoping the warmth will calm you down. seungcheol’s eyes drop to your hands and he reaches out to cover them with his own.

“are you cold?” his voice laced with genuine concern.

you pull your hands back and his face immediately drops.

“y/n i’m so sorry,” he starts to blabble. “i don’t know why i did that i guess it’s just a reflex and i wasn’t really thinki—”

“it’s fine cheol,” you cut him off, not realising you had used his nickname unknowingly.

but he catches it and it makes his heart ache. he’d missed it so much and he never thought he’d be able to hear that nickname from your mouth again.

“guess there’s some old habits you’ve yet to kick too.” a bitter smile makes it’s way onto his face and you feel a pang in your chest. it’s as if your heart was breaking all over again for the very first time.

the memories of your first heartbreak suddenly comes rushing back.

the night you and seungcheol decided to go your separate ways, the night he chose to give you up in favour of pursuing his career, the night where so many things would end up broken forever.

your favourite mug that was his first ever gift to you, promises that were made at 4am when he held you so impossibly close to him as the world around you grew so quiet you could literally hear his heart beating and it felt like only the two of you existed in that very moment, your dreams that also turned into his until he realised they weren’t what he wanted anymore, your heart that he swore he would hold onto so gently and carefully and the love you once shared that you thought was so powerful and nothing would ever be able to come between you — the love that you thought would have been enough to get you through everything.

he notices you’re suddenly deep in thought and he hopes you’re thinking the same things as him. but you’re not.

“y/n,” he calls out apprehensively and you snap out of your thoughts.

“hmm?” your hand clasp the mug again and your other hand rests on the table.

he exhales shakily as he prepares himself to speak.

“cheol?” you urge softly.

“y/n, i know i fucked up. really badly,” he lets out a brittle laugh at that. “but this whole time i’ve been away i’ve really been thinking.” he looks at your hand that’s still on the table and for a second he almost reaches out for it and only deciding against it when he remembers your reaction from earlier.

you stay silent, not quite sure where this conversation is heading.

seungcheol searches your eyes, hoping to find something that will give him his answer or just a slight hint even, but all he finds is sorrow. sorrow that he’d caused.

he continues, “i still love you y/n, and if you’d just give me a chance to fix this — fix us, i promise i’ll do better. i’ll never fuck it up or hurt you again.”

you feel your entire body stiffen and you tighten your fingers around the mug. an unexplainable feeling washes over you.

you don’t understand. you’d thought that you’d jump at any opportunity to get back together with the man that’s currently sitting opposite you. the very same man that consumes all the thoughts through your sleepless nights. all those nights you’d spent lying in bed awake imagining this exact scenario.

you’d thought that getting back together with seungcheol would make everything right again so why aren’t you happy right now?

worry takes over seungcheol’s entire being as you remain silent. he doesn’t want to push you but he’s impatient, a trait you used to nag at him about.

his warm hand finds your cold one carefully on the table and he looks at you with raised brows and soft, brown eyes, pleading silently and you so badly want to give in.

you want to lean into his touch, feel his arms around you, kiss his soft lips but you know you shouldn’t.

“cheol,” you breathe out, sliding your hand out from under his. “you know i love you. i always have and i always will.”

seungcheol’s heart drops because he knows where you’re going with this.

“… but?” you can hear all his regret in that one single word.

“we fell apart for a reason cheol and i don’t think i can go through another heartbreak again. especially not with you. it’s too painful cheol.” it hurts you to say this when all you want is to embrace him again.

“it’ll be different this time.” there’s a desperation in his voice that tugs at your heart but you know you can’t give in.

you will yourself to look away from him and your eyes land on the bags of groceries on the table next to you and for a second you let yourself indulge in the fantasy of being able to do something as simple as grocery shopping with seungcheol again, walking side by side down the aisle as you push the cart while looking at the grocery list you had written together in the kitchen of the tiny home you’d once shared. you’d give anything to go back to when things were that easy and to be able to do the one thing with him that brought you an indescribable amount of joy just a mere 6 months ago.

“maybe in a parallel universe, another world or a different life we’d sit across from each other at the kitchen table and go over the grocery list,” you manage to get out shakily, voice cracking slightly as tears threaten to spill from your eyes, “but not in this life cheol. it won’t be anymore. you had your chance.”

standing up in a rush, your thighs push the chair back causing the legs of the chair to scrape the floor loudly, you grab all your belongings and hastily make your way out of the cafe without looking back.

seungcheol opens the glove compartment in his car as he gets ready to drive home. his hand reaches around blindly, searching for his phone charger until he feels a piece of paper that he doesn’t remember was in there. he pulls it out, thinking it was an old receipt until he looks at it properly and recognises the handwriting — your handwriting.

it was the last grocery list you wrote together.

he scans through the entire list and he finally breaks when he sees the slightly faded words on the very bottom of the list, “i ♡ you”.

Lee jihoon - Popsicles for dessert

w.c : 1.5 k ┊ synopsis : jihoon's tired of all the pink underwear teasing and shows you he doesn't wear one┊ content warning : smut , bestfriends to lovers kinda , blowjobs , big dick jihoon , really big dick jihoon

a/n : aka the prompt ask y'all had been waiting for is finally here. Crack and smut.

 It's all because Soonyoung.

He started it.

The whole pink underwear drama. Jihoon, for the fact, does NOT wear pink underwear. Maybe he wore them once for the sake of one of his ex’s kinks. But he doesn't own pink underwear. There's black and there's dark grey and there's dark blue. A red one for when he's feeling extra freaky. Nothing pink.

And yet all of this fuss and teasing. And it was still bearable when it was just the boys teasing him.

But then you caught on that inner joke. Well, more specifically, soonyoung told you. On purpose. Knowing how big of a crush Jihoon had on you, his best friend. And you found that funny too. And then you started teasing him about it. And he's so embarrassed. 

And today it happened again. You two were just discussing your lives lately, and you told Jihoon about all the new make up you bought recently and how much you love that pink lipstick you got from your favourite brand. A sudden shit-eating grin spread across your face and Jihoon instantly knew where this was headed to. 

“You know, Jihoon, what else is pink”

Jihoon groaned, “oh my god, not you too! Not again!"

You giggled at his reaction, “your underwear Jihoon! You wear pink underwear, don't you? Little pink panties?”

Jihoon groaned, burying his face in the throw pillow on the couch. As you continued teasing him, he snapped. 

“God, y/n, I don't wear pink underwear,” he whined loudly, suddenly standing up, “should I show you or something?”

Your eyebrows quirked. “Why not, show me the proof.” There was a glint of mischief in your eyes. Jihoon should have known this was a bad idea. But he was tired of all the teasing already. He hastily untied the knots of his grey sweatpants and pulled them down to his thighs, revealing his slick black Calvin Klein boxer briefs. 

Your eyes widened. And the colour of his underwear wasn't the reason. It was the big bulge at his crotch which you couldn't take your eyes off. Your mouth watered at the sight. “God, Jihoon,” you were speechless. 

Suddenly shy again, Jihoon attempts to pull his pants back up, but you stop him, your hand on top of his as you move closer. He definitely has a really big dick hidden in there for the bulge to be that big.. And he wasn't even hard. Well, yet.

Your free hand moves and cups his crotch. Jihoon flinches but doesn't push you away. Instead, a soft moan leaves his throat before he could think. “Y/n what are you-”

“What fucking monster kind of dick you have in store here, Hoonie,” you can feel his dick come alive under your hand, the bulge growing as if it wasn't massive already. You palm him through his boxers. His hands fly to hold your wrist, stopping you. He really will just cum already if you keep doing that. You look up at him with a pout. 

“I want it,” you demanded, as if you were a little girl asking for candy or ice cream. Not able to hold himself back, his hand briefly looses over yours and you take the opportunity to instantly pull down his boxers, freeing his cock as it springs up, hard under your attention. 

“Oh my god, hoonie, it's so pretty,” you say, taking Jihoon's cock in your hand, examining it as though it was your first time seeing one. It was a pretty thing indeed, thick and long and only slightly darker than his fair face. It was a pretty shade of pink at the top and the purple veins prodded throughout the length. Its shape was just perfect, not too wonky or long and drippy or ugly. It was the kind of dick every girl sees in her dreams and every artist draws for their characters.

Jihoon, on the other hand, was trembling. Two minutes ago, you two were bickering. Now you had his dick in your hand. A shudder passed through his spine and he let out a whine as your tongue suddenly lapped over his head. “Y/n, you-”

“Shh, baby, sit down on the couch. I cannot stop myself from tasting this cock.” It was like you were hypnotised by his cock and he by you. He sat on the couch, his underwear and sweatpants pooled at his ankles. He opened his legs wide, giving you space to kneel in between as you take hold of his cock again. 

You lick over the length again, dragging your tongue along the veins, making Jihoon moan and groan and grab a fist of your hair. You loved when he pulled, the sting making your panties damp. You take the tip in your mouth whole sucking on it slowly. 

You try to take his dick deeper in your mouth, holding your breath as you do, before his cockhead touches the back of your throat, and it's just half way there. You forced your gag reflex to soften as you took him as deep as you can, wrapping your hand around the rest of it. You suck on it, hollowing your cheeks, feeling encouraged by all of the filthiest noises you head jihoon make. 

His hands grab your head, not pushing or pulling, but just holding it as a support as you commit yourself to giving the best blowjob you might have ever given. Your pussy feels so wet at the thought of taking this monstrosity in it. You can't take him today. You're gonna need training for it. But jihoon will help you stretch out for him. And then he'll fuck you till you can't think about anything other than his dick and how well it's fucking you. Your clit throbs. God, you're so cockdrunk over him.

Your other hands come to play with jihoon's balls, who seem big and heavy from his cum. He's close already, you can tell. So you suck on it till he's cumming down your throat with a whiny shudder, his hips tutting up in your mouth reflexively. You drink in all of his cum, the bitter-sweet malty taste making you only want more. 

Jihoon's panting. He just recieved what would be the best blowjob of his life. God, you should be put in a porn film with skill like that. His head falls back, catching a breath, as you climb on his lap, giggling as you lean in to kiss him. It's messy and wet and filthy, but he loves it. He could still taste himself on you. He wraps his arms around your waist.

It's all because of Soonyoung. 

He started the pink underwear rumours, spread it to you, had you tease him and it led to this. He's thankful to his best friend for it, but he wouldn't say it. He might write a nice song for him though as a thank you.

so so honoured tbvh! I'm so glad it inspired something so good, thank you so much😭🫶

plus, girl dad! seungcheol agenda continues.

when seungcheol opens the front door of your house, it seems like everything is upside down. the living room looks like a mess with your daughter's toys all spread out - he was kind of guilty about this, i mean, she didn't really need that many toys to play with.

the kitchen is filled with vegetables all over the counter, kkuma is cutely on two paws as she tries to reach it; if only she was human sized, maybe she could...

and lastly, seungcheol could hear your daughter crying all the way from her bedroom, with your desperate pleas also being heard, asking her to calm down a bit.

"what's wrong?", he asks the moment he steps into the lilac colored bedroom.

"appa~", your daughter runs to him, hugging his legs with all the strength she has.

"hey, baby. why are you crying?"

as seungcheol picks her up, you sigh - half in relief, half in frustration. you really wanted to do something nice for seungcheol, especially when he does so much for you, so you tried your best to make a proper dinner, clean around the house, give kkuma a bath, but all these things are extremely hard when you have an hyperactive 3 years old who's, by the way, the biggest daddy's girl to ever exist.

"she keeps asking for mr. cuddles, but won't accept it when i give it to her", you gesture to the plushie you have on your hand.

"babe... it's because that's not mr. cuddles", seungcheol tries to bite back a laugh. "that's giggly, the tiger plushie soonyoung gave it to her on her last birthday. mr. cuddles is the panda plushie i bought her two months ago, remember?"

seungcheol walks with his daughter hanging on his neck to her closet, opening and reaching for mr. cuddles on the top shelf.

"i put it here this morning because kkuma was trying to get it, i'm sorry", and as he hands the toy to your daughter, you're not really sure who he's talking to, you or her.

"thank you, appa", your daughter kisses his cheek.

"you're welcome, baby girl~"

if you didn't love them so much, with all your heart, forever, to death - you would perhaps roll your eyes at the scene.

"why does she have to be such a daddy's girl? i literally carried her for 9 months!"

"aw, it's okay, babe. you're daddy's girl too."

"seungcheol!", you almost scream, but the bastard just smirks at you.

a/n: inspired by one of @cxffecoupx's headcanons about dad girl!seungcheol. please check it out, they're amazing. ❤️🍒

okay but the want NEED to ride seungcheol's thigh tho-

ot13 seventeen : biggest turn-ons

seungcheol : watching you ride his thigh. something about your desperation as you ride his thigh makes him feral. he is going to be simultaneously praising and degrading you for being an obedient slvt for him, he's really hard but refuses to give in unless you have squirted over his muscular and strong thighs.

jeonghan : when you are being bratty. this man loves your bratty side because he knows you are doing it on purpose to be punished soon. you're gonna misbehave and tease him in public? be ready for overstimulation and edging the whole night then. he's very much into punishment sex and talking down to you during it.

joshua : bondage, especially shibari. to see you all tied up in rough jute ropes, restricting almost every movement of your and leaving you presented ready for him is a big time dick-hardener for him. the only thing better than seeing you tied up is when he is tying you up, tightening the ropes over your gentle skin so you can't move in any way other than how he wants you. (dw tho, he'll also pay you back during aftercare massages and cuddles;))

junhui : when you dom him. while he can perfectly hold you down and dom you, he just loves when you are being the one in charge. so turned on when you command him around and make him feel like a boytoy to be used just for your pleasure. lowkey loves getting degraded and slight impact play.

soonyoung : when you wear sexy costumes. he would looove roleplay. when you enter the bedroom wearing a french maid uniform, he is instantly turned on. when you wore a doctor's cost over your lingerie, a stethoscope around your neck, man is into the patient character with a hard dick instantly.

wonwoo : when you act innocent. i have a fantasy that he has a corruption kink. when you are playing innocenttowards dirty stuff (or even in cases when you actually are innocent), he just loves to corrupt your mind. he'll teach you how to fuck in different positions, how to suck him off, how to ride him like a good girl. something about the glint in your innocent w=eyes as you moan his name makes his dick twitch.

jihoon : when you wear expensive jewelry during sex. something is so incredibly hot about seeing you bounce over his dick while you wear the diamonds and pearls and gold he bought you. especially loves when you wear that one ruby set he bought (which had really been his inspiration for his mixtape). also if the jewelry is matched with the expensive silk and lace lingerie he had bought for you as well, man just gonna go feral blowing your back out.

minghao : when you moan his name. he loves hearing you moan in general, the beautiful voice of yours making those pretty and nasty sounds, the best music to his ears. but when you especially moan out his name (/nickname?), it just makes him so proud, knowing that he is very much responsible for the pleasure you have been feeling, that he is the cause of the noises you make.

mingyu : bulge kink. he knows he is big everywhere, with height muscles etc. but he is, like any man would be, extremely proud of his big dick. and to see your stomach bulge as he fucks you is so incredibly hot. he'd press on it just to hear you moan over the weight of his dick. will 100% increase his speed as much as he can so you both would be cumming and making a mess of it within minutes.

seokmin : eating you out. it turns him on so incredibly. he loves your heady scent and taste down there, the way it intoxicated him. number one pussy-drunk man. with that beautiful nose and tongue of his, he'll make you come hard. if you play your cards well and tug on his hair as he gives you the head, he may very much come untouched.

seungkwan : when you are on top of him. whether riding or cowgirl-ing him, he loves the way you whimper, bouncing on his dick, looking down at him. the view is just all he needs to get close soon. if you are cowgirl-ing him, he'll love watching your tits just bounce above him. if you are riding him, he loves snuggling his face between your boobs, biting the sensitive skin in between there.

vernon : when you masturbate for him. as much as he loves fucking you for real, he finds it very hot when you video call him during tours and show him how you masturbate. to hear the desperation in your voice is really something. he cannot keep his hands out of his pants everytime you send him a video of you masturbating when he is at work and finds it really difficult to concentrate at his workplace with the image of you fingering yourself while moaning his name. he'll take it all out on you when he gets back home to you.

dino : praising. he loves praising, both receiving and giving. he loves it when you praise him and tell him how well he fits you and how good he makes you feel just as much as he loves telling you how beautifully you take him and what a good girl you have been. like always said, this man is a big time simp and wont stop verbally worshipping your body. if you are riding him and call him a good boy while ruffling his hair, he'll almost immediately come.