Youre Recoiling In Horror At Longlegs Face Im Kissing Him Tenderly On The Lips We Are Not The Same

You’re recoiling in horror at longlegs’ face I’m kissing him tenderly on the lips we are not the same

Ist es over für mich?

**EDITING MY POST TO CORRECT THE OG ARTIST! Credit is basessilis on Twitter / X 😊**

Exquisite Corpse

Avo please I need Pregnant reader x DP&W headcanons 😩 I love both these men so much. I just wanna a little life with them. These men have been through so damn much. Let them have some softness in their life.

I don’t really want kids but good lord- if they asked me too, I would push out an entire hockey team for them

Wade is so fucking happy when you tell him you're pregnant. They've been trying to knock you up for ages now, about damn time it worked!

Logan is pleased too but he's a little more... reserved about it. Doesn't want to run around telling everyone like Wade does. It's hard for him to embrace happiness, because he's so used to it slipping through his fingers. Get past your first trimester and he's able to start smiling about it though.

Expect to always be sitting down. If you get up to do something, one of them will be gently guiding you back to your seat. "Sweetie you sit your fine pregnant ass right back down, I'll get whatever you need. Soda? Chips? A whole tub of Ben & Jerry's?" or a softer, "Stay there baby, I'll grab it."

One of them is always with you, like a fucking guard dog. They're dangerous men after all, who knows who might be looking for them? Usually you can handle yourself but they have an extra reason to worry now.

Al makes it very clear she does not want a baby in the apartment (can you blame her?) so you have to find a new home. It's an added stress for you so the boys usually go out scouting. Eventually you're able to find a cute little place to afford with the three of you (being in a polycule is the only way to make rent these days)

You love to spend those days doing up baby's room and singing silly little songs as you do it. "Am I gonna paint your nursery green or yellow, who knows... ♫" If one of them catches you, they'll lean against the doorframe and watch you with absoloute heart-eyes.

Logan's been around for long enough that he's had experience with young kids before, so when you or Wade panic about something, he's usually the one to temper it. Reminds you that you'll both be fine.

Wade never shuts the fuck up talking to your bump. Truly, a stream of consciousness about the world to baby. Gets little Deadpool onesies for them too, because he thinks they're cute. Logan is quieter, hand on your belly, a quiet few sentences just so they know that he has a voice and it's not just Wade.

They're pretty good when you go into labour. Wade panics a bit but Logan hits him with a look which implies that now is not the time, and he buckles down. Delivery goes smoothly. It's great to have two guys who can heal their bones when you need to grip down on something as you push.

And when you get home? Crib is barely used. Baby is pretty much always in someone's arms: Wade's who's always babbling to baby's delight; Logan's solid embrace as he hums quietly; against your chest as you whispered how loved they are.

taglist: @falsewordz @malfoys-demigod @belilwen @mildly-salted @tvwebs @childeslegstrap @getmeoutofhell @s1eep-o @just-a-beatlemaniac69 @yrthr @momopad @sugarplumz100 @captainjinkx @madspads @acrosstheunivcrse @yeethaw13 @na-is-salty @florduarte @hunterispunk @starfleetteddybear

Why are these so cute? Ofc Alan would be a wonderful boyfriend. 😭❤️

Guys idk if this is a joke anymore

Alan x GN!reader boyfriend hcs

wc: around 300

warnings: none

- will know your food and coffee order down to the letter, will cross towns just for it if you asked

- scares easily, not good with scary movies (an excuse to hold onto you)

- will always try to comfort you, even if he doesn’t successfully do it but he will always mean well

- does the thing where he slowly reaches out to hold your hand in public but if you move even slightly he will immediately retract

- gets overstimulated easily, stresses easily

- very solution oriented, you’ll need to teach him to ask “do you want a solution or do you want to complain for a little”

- malewife if you work long hours, will be wearing an apron and everything when you get home

- silently needs to recharge by holding you, likes to rest his chin on yours which he can easily do no matter how tall you are

- baggy eyes, speaks mostly in “mhm” and “mmmh.”

- wears his glasses sometimes when he’s around you, but only you

- urges you to wash your face and brush your teeth when you come home super tired, will do it for you including removing any makeup or cleaning your glasses before putting them away

- not a pet person, but would warm up to yours

- speaking of, animals LOVE him (the whole you attract what you don’t want law)

- definitely smokes I mean look at him

- very vocal when it comes to being sassy

- would let you try out makeup looks on him / hairstyles but only if you lock your phone in a physical safe

- enjoys self care like face masks and the occasional late night tea

- small acts of appreciation, like packing your lunch or replacing your bed sheets