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You have all just witnessed the birth of a new kink.
Smegtober- Day 5 (Religion)
TW: Sexually Explicit Content and Adultry
“Forgive me, Father,” Lister began in a hushed tone, his voice feeling so much louder to himself,” for I have sinned.”
Playing with his hands, he twisted a ring off and on his left hand, a golden wedding band. The priest, Father Arnold Rimmer, hummed from the other side of the screen window,” Tell me your troubles, my son.”
Lister's throat felt tight as he croaked,” I have been… struggling,” he swallowed,” with some thoughts.”
The wood of the confessional creaked as the priest sat straight, taking in a breath before enquiring,” What kind of thoughts?”
Lister stirred in his seat, the booth creaked again. Compassion in his confidant's inflection was not enough on its own to fully vanquish the overwhelming sense of dread in his stomach. There was a lengthy pause. He focused on his own breathing, twisting the band on his finger over and over again until he could muster the will to speak.
“Thoughts outside of my marriage,” he struggled to admit,” I find my eyes wandering.”
“Have you acted on these thoughts?” the priest asked, voice still soft and gentle, almost too perfectly non judgemental. It made Lister shudder internally.
“No,” he swallowed again,” no, I haven't but given the chance…” he couldn't finish his sentence, the words he couldn't quite get out clogging his windpipe.
“I see,” he paused to contemplate for a moment,” is this urge general?”
“How'd you mean?”
“Is there a specific person you're resisting?”
“...yes.”
“Does she know you feel this way?”
“No, he doesn't. Not exactly.” Admitting that much to Father Rimmer was further than he thought he would go.
“Not exactly?” He echoed. Lister could practically hear the quirk of his brow in the tone of his voice.
“Well,” Lister fumbled his words,” I haven't told him what I want but he knows I'm struggling.”
“David, I think this is a personal matter you should discuss with him. Perhaps he can offer guidance.”
Lister shivered at the use of his name. He thought Confession was supposed to be anonymous, not that they weren't already quite familiar with each other.
“Well um, you see,” his hands all of a sudden became interesting again,” that's what I'm trying to do.”
“Oh.” He flatly vocalized.
The air in his lungs felt stuffy; Lister let out a long sigh, suddenly uncomfortable in his own skin as the red curtain of the booth was pulled to expose him. Father Rimmer looked down at him, his hazel eyes burning into Lister, expression cautious and curious.
“Come with me,” he softly beckoned, making his way past rows of pews and into a door on the other side of the sanctuary. Lister followed, meeting him inside of a modest room which resembled an office; it had a desk at the very least, which, in Lister's mind, was close enough.
Rimmer sat the old navy blue couch that was pushed against the wall by the door, its fabric tattered and colour fading. He patted the spot next to him however Lister decided to sit at the opposite end; He knew this was going to be awkward.
“I can't help you,” Father Arnold admitted plainly, taking in a deep breath and letting it go,” even If I wanted to, it would be wrong.”
Dave enqueried,” Do you want to?”
Silence fell upon them, thick and tense; Lister scanned the priest's features, shuffling closer to him. Gently, he cradled his face In his hands, connecting their lips slowly as though Rimmer was a startled doe who would bolt at any moment. To his surprise, he didn't, leaning into him desperately and shuddering as Lister gently ran his hand up his inner thigh.
Tenderly, he smiled against his lips, moving his other hand from Rimmer's face to his hip and pulling him into his lap so that he was straddling him. Running his hands up Rimmer's body, Lister settled on playing with his hair, threading his soft, brown locks through his fingers, playing with the looser curls at the base of his neck.
Arnold's face flushed a shade of rose; he smiled as he pulled back, taking in the sight of the priest's kiss bitten lips and slack jawed expression, panting and flustered, chest heaving; his usually neat hair was tousled and displaced. Dave took the time to marvel at how beautiful the sight was, his lover's hazel eyes filled with lust and his professional demeanour entirely undone.
“You're gorgeous,” Lister remarked, voice low as though he was sharing a secret, pulling him back in and grinding against him. Rimmer squeaked, feeling the erection of the man underneath him. The scouser moved from his lips to his jaw, trailing kisses down his neck, careful not to disorganize his Roman collar as he nipped and teased the skin above it. Father Rimmer craned his neck. Lister smirked into his jaw, inhaling his scent, noting the smell of his aftershave: sandalwood.
Without warning, the priest withdrew, searching his features before pushing himself off Lister's lap and settling on the cold, wooden floor. Lister spectated in awe; Rimmer's dainty fingers traced the fly of his trousers, unbuckling his belt before he fiddled with the button, prying it open with more effort than expected. Avoiding Lister's gaze, he giggled nervously and awkwardly gulped, pulling his lover's erection from his jeans.
Stroking it delicately, he watched Lister's head fall back as he let out a strained groan; he kissed the tip, taking it into his mouth; the warmth of his lips enveloped the head, earning a moan Lister muffled with his own hand. His right hand, his free hand, snaked through Rimmer's hair once more, grasping at his curls as his hips rutted into him. The priest gagged, eyes watering at the sudden reaction his body had though he kept going, taking as much of Lister's shaft as he could. He bobbed his head unskillfully, gradually building a steadier rhythm as he continued.
All the while, Lister's head spun, the tingling sensation in his cock causing it to twitch in Rimmer's mouth. Rimmer flicked his tongue against Lister. Desperately, Dave moaned, hand still clasped firmly over his mouth. His legs shook. He felt tension build as the taller man continued, the grip on his hair tightening as his hips thrusted into his mouth more erratically, pushing Father Rimmer's nose into the patch of unkempt pubic hair at the base of his shaft. Dave quivered, coming with an animalistic grunt.
Father Rimmer pulled back, spluttering and coughing as he choked uncomfortably on Lister's seed, face reddened and eyes wide when he finally regained his composure. Dave, light headed and unable to catch his breath, stuffed himself awkwardly back into his trousers, buckling his belt. His gaze traveled back to Arnold, hair tousled, eyes watery, cheeks tinted pink, lips puffy and utterly defiled.
“Forgive me, Father,” he attempted but no words came out.
Reblogging again to say ...
Sandalwood guys. Sandalwood.
@therimmerexperience you glorious human being.
Smegtober- Day 5 (Religion)
TW: Sexually Explicit Content and Adultry
“Forgive me, Father,” Lister began in a hushed tone, his voice feeling so much louder to himself,” for I have sinned.”
Playing with his hands, he twisted a ring off and on his left hand, a golden wedding band. The priest, Father Arnold Rimmer, hummed from the other side of the screen window,” Tell me your troubles, my son.”
Lister's throat felt tight as he croaked,” I have been… struggling,” he swallowed,” with some thoughts.”
The wood of the confessional creaked as the priest sat straight, taking in a breath before enquiring,” What kind of thoughts?”
Lister stirred in his seat, the booth creaked again. Compassion in his confidant's inflection was not enough on its own to fully vanquish the overwhelming sense of dread in his stomach. There was a lengthy pause. He focused on his own breathing, twisting the band on his finger over and over again until he could muster the will to speak.
“Thoughts outside of my marriage,” he struggled to admit,” I find my eyes wandering.”
“Have you acted on these thoughts?” the priest asked, voice still soft and gentle, almost too perfectly non judgemental. It made Lister shudder internally.
“No,” he swallowed again,” no, I haven't but given the chance…” he couldn't finish his sentence, the words he couldn't quite get out clogging his windpipe.
“I see,” he paused to contemplate for a moment,” is this urge general?”
“How'd you mean?”
“Is there a specific person you're resisting?”
“...yes.”
“Does she know you feel this way?”
“No, he doesn't. Not exactly.” Admitting that much to Father Rimmer was further than he thought he would go.
“Not exactly?” He echoed. Lister could practically hear the quirk of his brow in the tone of his voice.
“Well,” Lister fumbled his words,” I haven't told him what I want but he knows I'm struggling.”
“David, I think this is a personal matter you should discuss with him. Perhaps he can offer guidance.”
Lister shivered at the use of his name. He thought Confession was supposed to be anonymous, not that they weren't already quite familiar with each other.
“Well um, you see,” his hands all of a sudden became interesting again,” that's what I'm trying to do.”
“Oh.” He flatly vocalized.
The air in his lungs felt stuffy; Lister let out a long sigh, suddenly uncomfortable in his own skin as the red curtain of the booth was pulled to expose him. Father Rimmer looked down at him, his hazel eyes burning into Lister, expression cautious and curious.
“Come with me,” he softly beckoned, making his way past rows of pews and into a door on the other side of the sanctuary. Lister followed, meeting him inside of a modest room which resembled an office; it had a desk at the very least, which, in Lister's mind, was close enough.
Rimmer sat the old navy blue couch that was pushed against the wall by the door, its fabric tattered and colour fading. He patted the spot next to him however Lister decided to sit at the opposite end; He knew this was going to be awkward.
“I can't help you,” Father Arnold admitted plainly, taking in a deep breath and letting it go,” even If I wanted to, it would be wrong.”
Dave enqueried,” Do you want to?”
Silence fell upon them, thick and tense; Lister scanned the priest's features, shuffling closer to him. Gently, he cradled his face In his hands, connecting their lips slowly as though Rimmer was a startled doe who would bolt at any moment. To his surprise, he didn't, leaning into him desperately and shuddering as Lister gently ran his hand up his inner thigh.
Tenderly, he smiled against his lips, moving his other hand from Rimmer's face to his hip and pulling him into his lap so that he was straddling him. Running his hands up Rimmer's body, Lister settled on playing with his hair, threading his soft, brown locks through his fingers, playing with the looser curls at the base of his neck.
Arnold's face flushed a shade of rose; he smiled as he pulled back, taking in the sight of the priest's kiss bitten lips and slack jawed expression, panting and flustered, chest heaving; his usually neat hair was tousled and displaced. Dave took the time to marvel at how beautiful the sight was, his lover's hazel eyes filled with lust and his professional demeanour entirely undone.
“You're gorgeous,” Lister remarked, voice low as though he was sharing a secret, pulling him back in and grinding against him. Rimmer squeaked, feeling the erection of the man underneath him. The scouser moved from his lips to his jaw, trailing kisses down his neck, careful not to disorganize his Roman collar as he nipped and teased the skin above it. Father Rimmer craned his neck. Lister smirked into his jaw, inhaling his scent, noting the smell of his aftershave: sandalwood.
Without warning, the priest withdrew, searching his features before pushing himself off Lister's lap and settling on the cold, wooden floor. Lister spectated in awe; Rimmer's dainty fingers traced the fly of his trousers, unbuckling his belt before he fiddled with the button, prying it open with more effort than expected. Avoiding Lister's gaze, he giggled nervously and awkwardly gulped, pulling his lover's erection from his jeans.
Stroking it delicately, he watched Lister's head fall back as he let out a strained groan; he kissed the tip, taking it into his mouth; the warmth of his lips enveloped the head, earning a moan Lister muffled with his own hand. His right hand, his free hand, snaked through Rimmer's hair once more, grasping at his curls as his hips rutted into him. The priest gagged, eyes watering at the sudden reaction his body had though he kept going, taking as much of Lister's shaft as he could. He bobbed his head unskillfully, gradually building a steadier rhythm as he continued.
All the while, Lister's head spun, the tingling sensation in his cock causing it to twitch in Rimmer's mouth. Rimmer flicked his tongue against Lister. Desperately, Dave moaned, hand still clasped firmly over his mouth. His legs shook. He felt tension build as the taller man continued, the grip on his hair tightening as his hips thrusted into his mouth more erratically, pushing Father Rimmer's nose into the patch of unkempt pubic hair at the base of his shaft. Dave quivered, coming with an animalistic grunt.
Father Rimmer pulled back, spluttering and coughing as he choked uncomfortably on Lister's seed, face reddened and eyes wide when he finally regained his composure. Dave, light headed and unable to catch his breath, stuffed himself awkwardly back into his trousers, buckling his belt. His gaze traveled back to Arnold, hair tousled, eyes watery, cheeks tinted pink, lips puffy and utterly defiled.
“Forgive me, Father,” he attempted but no words came out.
I don't know why I love it so much when someone calls Lister David, but I do. We should do it more often.
Wonderful as usual darling. ❤️
Smegtober- Day 11 (Jelousy)
“A touch-T,” Howard practically purred, his smile off putting to Rimmer as he watched him practically plead for Lister's touch. Benign as his intentions were outwardly, Rimmer wasn't an idiot; he knew Howard. He also knew Lister just as well. Lister eventually clutched Howard's head in his hands…
Even then, Rimmer felt sick. His brother's lustful smirk, eyes roaming over his bunkmate’s body in that tight elasticated jumpsuit. Taking his chance, Rimmer pried his brother away from the liverpudlian, his ears practically ringing when he suggested Lister try again.
A wave of relief washed over the younger Rimmer as he convinced his brother to accept a tour, though the thought of Howard's hungry gaze still made him nauseous.
“What's the matter, Arnie?” Howard spat as he asked, naturally smug.
“You know what, ‘Howie’,” Rimmer hissed in return, “the way you're drooling over David. It's disgusting.”
Howard let out a chuckle, “Am I sensing jealousy, brother? Am I a threat?”
“Not at all,” Rimmer scoffed, albeit unconvincingly, “I have no interest in men.”
Howard squawked, a nasally laugh, “Aww, little brother,” he pinched his cheek, “you really aren't fooling anybody.”
Scowling, Rimmer felt his blood run cold, pushing his brother back and huffing as he abandoned Howard and Crawford, storming back to the drive room. Lister ,still stood with his phone pressed to his ear, leaning over the top of a control panel, lips pursed, turned to face him ipon his entrance, concerned.
“Hey, Rimmer, man,” he lowered the phone, already noticing the hologram's blotchy cheeks and watery eyes, “What happened?”
Frustrated, Rimmer rubbed his face, “Nothing,” he growled, defensive.
Lister wasn't stupid…
Footsteps echoed as The stimulant and other hologram approached; Sparks went off in Lister's mind, a beautifully evil idea, perfect as it was sinister.
He cupped Arnold's cheek and gushed dramatically, “Oh, Arnie.”
The hologram met his eyes with confusion; Lister pulled him into a kiss, groaning over-enthusiastically as Howard strutted in, smugness draining from his features at the sight. His eyes span. A resentment jam.
Grinning like he had won a prize, the human pulled away, proud of his work, “That'll show the smegger.”
Me, the first time I read a fanfic: okay, I'll just use incognito and, oh good, I don't have to type the whole sentence, Google has autofilled. Okay. So technically I didn't do this, Google did. immediately closes window as soon as someone walks by and burns upon reading.
Me now: Ten screens open, all on Rimster smut, completely unapologetic, will read on public transport.
First time smut writer: Um. Hope this is OK? It's only a bit of smut at the very end of the epilogue and you can skip it, it's ok. So sorry, um. Oh dear me. Please don't judge me. Nobody read this omg what have I done 😳
Seasoned smut writer: *ringing bell* Come get uR PORNOGRAPHY! 10k pwp, it's KINKY AS HECK so share it with all your friends!!! If you've got any suggestions for my Kinktober just drop it in the comments, I will write whatever wet, messy & DOWNRIGHT FILTHY fic about these two idiots 👏
Another amazing ficlet from my bestie hubs (hubby? Idk). ❤️
Smegtober- Day 14 (Nicknames)
“Why do you call me that?” Lister enquired, out of nowhere, propping his head on his hand, elbow resting on his pillow.
“Call you what?” Rimmer responded from the bunk beneath him.
“You know what I mean. ‘Listy’”, he continued, realising the hologram might overthink, “Not that I mind. Just curious.”
Rimmer was silent for a moment, wringing his hands, staring at the underside of Lister's bunk as though he would miraculously be able to see his face- read what he was thinking. Finally, he willed himself to respond, “I don't know... I can stop.”
“No. It's fine,” the human persisted with damage control, “You don't need to stop.”
The second technician shook his head, shortly feeling ridiculous at the realisation his bunkmate couldn't even see him, “I don't even notice I'm doing it most of the time.”
“Well, there you go, then. It's all fine.”
“But it isn't.”
Lister rolled his eyes, “How isn't it?”
“Well,” Rimmer paused for a moment, in thought, “for one, it's not even like we both do it. It's just me,” another pause, this time shorter, “ and I'm pretty sure it started maliciously.”
Lister chuckled, a cheeky grin bestowed upon his face, “Awwe, are you tellin’ me it's affectionate now?”
“Shut up,” the older man sulked.
“Don't be like that,” the third technician teased, “I think it's quite cute how you secretly adore me.”
Rimmer jumped up from his bunk to face Lister, cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. “I do not adore you!” He exclaimed defensively, his fists balled by his sides. Lister's smirk was unbearable.
“Hey, don't be like that,” he said in his usual sickly sweet tone of mockery, “you don't need to tell me. It's been decades and we're still sharing a room.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” he folded his arms, a scowl on his lips that didn't quite convince Lister.
“Listen, man, I'm just sayin’ I know you, and you know me,” Lister sat up, attempting to look Rimmer in the eyes, “and on a ship the size of a small city, after all this time, we still sleep in the same room.”
Rimmer avoided his gaze, “that's irrelevant. It is JMC regulation that-”
“And who exactly is still around to hold you to that?” Lister cut him off, “Why does it bother you so much anyway?”
“It doesn't,” he hissed, “I just don't like what you're implying.”
Lister sighed heavily, a huff of annoyance, “and what exactly am I implying?”
He had no reply. Pushing himself off the bunk, the human groaned at the ache in his knees; he took the hologram's hand between his, rubbing small circles on the back of it. Rimmer, sight fixed on his encased hand, stood frozen in place, as though in a trance.
“Look, Rimmer,” Lister began gently, “all I'm sayin is I care about you and, I think, underneath all this neurosis, you care about me too.”
Smiling weakly, Lister moved one of his hands from Rimmer's own to his cheek, standing on his toes and chastley connecting their lips. Rimmer blinked. His expression read as though he had short curicted, like he was learning how to breathe again; his face finally decided to congeal into a slack jawed impression of disbelief. Lister playfully stuck his tongue out, breath caught in his throat when his bunkmate gripped his lapels, pulling him back in.
something something red string of fate something something
(bonus lineart version under the cut)
A Kawaii!Lister to go with Rimmer. They’re boyfriends. 💖✨💖✨
I love them so much…
If I have time I’ll draw them properly
Ooo boy! Will I actually finish this drawing?? Who knows! It’s a real mystery…
Sloppy makeouts for the win! Aka: How Rimmer should have reacted to becoming hardlight (ft. Cat)… I am so incredibly sorry to everyone who knows me. T-T
My favourite problem though.
I will be back with proper edits soon but i'm just messing around with capcut templates.
Told you i'd be back.
This is a theory for the TV series on how original Rimmer could have returned after series 8.
However a small spoiler warning because I have been rereading the Red Dwarf books and I am up to 'Backwards' and it is referenced as something to explain in more detail about the dimensional travel.
I have read up to Ace and the burnt Wildfire and how they plan on solving what went wrong, and a thought occured to me when they were talking about it being almost impossible to return to your universe of origin, this being due to the vast expanse of universes growing by every possible different choice being made. So it is possible to return just unlikely meaning that original Rimmer could get back.
I then though about the end of series 8, and how later in 'Back to Earth' hologram Rimmer is back. I know of many different theories people have had and I want to present one of my own.
The theory is that our Rimmer from pre-series 8 had double the chance of finding home. Although that is still a small chance it is more likely. He could have jumped into either his home universe of into the mirror universe. If we choose to belive he jumped into the mirror universe it is possible he passed through the mirror/portal and entered into the main universe. And him walking through could have broken the connection and been the reason the mirror was broken and nanobot Rimmer was unable to return through it. Rimmer is then onboard the ship and able to "save" the day meanwhile if nanobot Rimmer found Wildfire, it means that the legacy of Ace is not necessarily gone as he could take on the mantle. (It has been a while since watching 'Only the Good' so remind me if I'm wrong about anything).
I also really would find it funny for the biggest coward to be capable of making his way home when others couldn't, and I feel it fits well with his character that he would do something near impossible rather than be brave and put himself in danger for other people.
Thanks for reading. Have a good day/night.