Current Status Update:

Current status update:

FUCK FUCK FUCK WHERE DO I BEGIN

i've finish the burning god and i will never know happiness again.

*TPW Spoilers*

In The Poppy War Rin said “I don’t love you and I can kill anything.”

Then in The Burning God, Altan’s ghost asks “How many more chances are you going to let go?” and Rin responds with “At least one more.”

She is given multiple chances to kill Nezha, but each time she fails to because she just can’t bring herself to. She loves him, she hates him. It’s never a balance, one outweighs the other on different occasions.

God, thinking about how Venka possibly WASN’T the leak, or maybe she was, but she still loved Rin and wanted to protect her from that crossbow bolt anyway despite divided loyalties. I think she might actually have been on Nezha’s side because I was incredibly suspicious of Xuzhou and I swore they were going to get their asses fucking handed to them on a silver Yin family platter. I’d been suspicious of her for sure! But the whole point is we won’t ever truly know because she died trying to protect Rin. Was she loyal? Was she disloyal but still loved Rin? What did loyalty mean to Sring Venka? Was she being loyal in her own way, in not wanting Rin to have victory because she knew she’d lose it? Was she trying to protect her all along like she did in her last moments?

i swear it is physically impossible for me to read a mary oliver quote without immediately having to hold back tears. "you do not have to be good" and "someone i loved once gave me a box of darkness. it took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift" and "i don't want to end up having simply visited this world" and "to love what is mortal against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go" and "it is a serious thing / just to be alive / on this fresh morning / in this broken world" and oh fuck it's happening again

it was so cool of me to stay kind despite everything I have witnessed in my life, it's all about breaking the cycle for real guys