Bartending As Daoism

Bartending as Daoism

So one of my day jobs is that I work as a bartender for a nice local wine and beer lounge in the city. I had to miss last week's shift because of a meeting I had to attend, and coming back today I felt incredibly clumsy and awkward from just that little break.

But as I got back into the swing of things, I found myself floating through the bar almost instinctively. My hands knew where all the bottles were, how we were doing on snacks, how often to check on patrons, and so on. It was pretty busy for a Sunday night, but somewhere during the shift I came to the realization that bartending is a rather perfect example of Daoism in action. It requires a pretty focused mindfulness of the present moment as the bar fills up. You can't plan too far ahead and you can't focus much on past mistakes. You've got to keep your attention on the patrons you have in front of you, and making sure they're happy at that exact moment. The "now" moment is constantly there, and without proper training or perspective, it can be pretty overwhelming to deal with everything. But with the right mindset and practice, I felt like I was just able to move and flow with everyone in the bar at the same time. Making sure drinks are going there, bills are going here, glasses ready to be dried, tables to be cleaned, on and on there's always something to do. And with a sort of effortless effort (I can speak in paradoxes too!), you're able to just surrender yourself to the moment and keep the pace.

I have a feeling at least a few of you also have had this sort of experience with your own work. I think it's a mistake when people call this sort of thing "mindless," as anything that requires your hands to move or your brain to function must involve your mind being active on some level. Feel free to submit your own stories about being within the present moment at work, I'm sure we could all learn from each other's experiences. 

Incredibly well put. "Still waters run deep" after all, and I believe that choosing to release negativity is one of the single most effective ways to bring yourself onto the Path.

Negative Emotions

Here is an interesting thing.  When you gain in inner peace and no longer engage in the sort of hostile argumentative exchanges with those who you were accustomed to do so with they will not understand.  They will accuse you of being “unemotional” or a “robot”.  You can point out that you feel emotions such as joy and love but that won’t convince them.  You see, some people just love to argue, to fight.  Some just love drama and they are not going to be happy when you withdraw from this.  You might hear “don’t pull that Buddha stuff on me” or worse.  Negative emotions such as anger, fear and aggression benefit nobody.  Sorrow is something else though.  Sorrow is not really a negative emotion in the way anger is negative.  Sorrow can often be a kind of melancholy but sweet reflection.  Sorrow can be both therapeutic and a learning experience.  It only becomes negative when it is overwhelming and excludes other more positive and constructive emotion.

“The concept of portraying evil and then destroying it - I know this is considered mainstream, but I think it is rotten. This idea that whenever something evil happens someone particular can be blamed and punished for it, in life and in politics, is hopeless.”

- Hayao Miyazaki

This goes nicely with the last post. It's nice when themes show up in my feed.

(via Dan Gilbert: The surprising science of happiness)

A scientific argument for Daoism? It's worth watching, and like most TED talks, only 20 minutes long. There are a couple things I'd like to talk about, and it's best if you watch the video first.

Essentially, the research and the data show that happiness is not only created in our own minds, but it is the same whether it is generated internally or externally. This confirms the words of both the Dalai Lama and Shakespeare, that a state of happiness is truly dependent on your individual self.

So this begs the question, what causes unhappiness? Why don't people just choose to be happy all the time? Dan Gilbert hints at this a bit, but I'll just state it outright: people are generally unhappy because the world around them has told them to be unhappy, and they believe it. When we desire things that we don't really need, when we attach ourselves to things that are fleeting, when we look out for satisfaction on the horizon instead of on our very own doorstep; these are all ways that people outside of ourselves have taken us away from the Path, and it's really up to us to get back on it. The first step, of course, is to turn away from the illusions that our lives have been saturated with.

No, growing older will not be so terrible.

No, you are not as ugly as you think.

No, you do not need to become wealthy and powerful.

These are lies that have been sold to us since the day we were born, essentially to keep society in a state of perpetual unhappiness, so that they may continue to go out and buy and put money in other peoples' pockets.

But we can see past these illusions, and we can accept reality for what it is. As the science shows, by accepting what cannot be changed, we can actually choose to be happy with what we have.

Now, this can lead to some troubling implications, I must admit. Loki, the supervillain conqueror from The Avengers, describes this quite clearly, that "Freedom is life's great lie." So if the data show that people are indeed happier without the freedom of choice, does this mean that Loki is right? That humans crave subjugation and authority?

This is the real puzzle of the Dao. Trying to strike the balance between actively following your Path and yet still yielding to its flow. In the extreme sense, one could argue that the research indicates yes, humans are sheep that must be corralled and controlled, and that we will find our greatest happiness in this state. But I see a different indication. As the video shows, we will always choose to be able to choose, as it were, even if that choice (whether we know it or not) will lead us to unhappiness. It is in our nature to accept and even create happiness in the face of uncontrollable circumstances, but it is also our nature to choose our own destiny. This is what I mean when I say we must actually walk down the mountain instead of just lying down on the side of the road. We are meant to find our own way through this world, even if that means not walking along it all the time. It's a bit tricky to explain, but I would say that people that are not walking along their true Path are doing so for a reason, that perhaps they are not on their Path so that they can find and choose it for themselves further on. You could even argue that in the grand scheme of the Universe, those who fight against their Path are actually still in line with the larger Path of the cosmos. But perhaps this is getting a bit too distant to see clearly. I would say that even if people choose Unhappiness over Happiness, it is their choice to make, and that they either will or will not choose to follow a Path to Happiness in the future (we are assuming, of course, that Daoism is meant for people to find Happiness). The most we can or should do is to choose Happiness for ourselves and see if others take note. Of those that take note, see if some ask how. Of those that ask how, see if some understand. And of those that understand, I believe that all will change their choice.

Daoism as Religion

I am not a religious person. I do not consider myself spiritual. To be honest, I’m not sure I consider myself to be particularly faithful (in the religious/spiritual sense, I’m not a cheater!). Is this against Daoism?

I don’t believe so. True Daoism isn’t really a religion, in any sense of the word. There are no deities, no rituals, not even really a code of conduct. It isn’t the same as Zen or Shinto or any of the other East Asian spiritual traditions that it is so commonly associated with in the modern world. Daoism is, quite simply, a guide on how to live one’s life without the stress and worry that came with the alternatives of Laozi’s age, namely Confucianism and Buddhism. Like many famous old texts, there is even debate on whether the old man wrote it himself, or if he existed at all (but that’s a story for another time, I think). So how did Daoism get to be associated with religion at all?

Well, here’s where things get complicated, and the issue of labeling what is and what isn’t Daoism can be problematic. Somewhere deep in China’s long and storied history, the religions of the land needed to be categorized, and Daoism, being an odd sort of duck, was lumped together with many of the shamanistic folk practices of the common people. From here we see the rise of institutionalized Daoism, with churches and rituals and all the trappings of what we would call a spiritual tradition.

But if you look at the core of the book, of the themes it encourages, this is against the very nature of the Path. It is unnecessary for the people of the world to organize groups or schools around the concepts of individual exploration, and perhaps even detrimental to the act of discovering the Path for oneself. The story goes that Laozi was hesitant to even write the book, as it creates a structure in and of itself. The conundrum is understandable, especially looking back at what’s happened over the last couple thousand years.

I believe that true Daosim, in order to focus on the core idea of letting all discover and walk their own way along the Path, should avoid this sort of idolatry. This includes venerating the old man and the book, to avoid being a Lao-ist, as it were. It’s great to have the teachings there, don’t get me wrong, but as I mentioned earlier, the authorship is under a healthy discussion as it should be, and we should look at the teachings as less a strict code, and more like guidelines, really. If there’s any sort of faith to Daoism, it would be the faith that the Path is leading us all somewhere better than where we currently are, or that everyone will eventually find their way to it and then things will be good. But that faith isn’t necessary to living your own life in accordance with your own personal Dao.

Just as a disclaimer, in no way am I saying that religion shouldn’t exist, or that the religious schools of Daoism are bad or harmful. Things turned out the way they did for a reason, this is part of the Path. Obviously, religion does a great deal of both help and harm to peoples’ lives, and this is the way I believe it is supposed to be. What I’m saying is that Daoism exists separate from wherever people choose to place their faith, and can complement or contrast with any personal spiritual belief you may have.