Sociology - Tumblr Posts
Project “31 interviews in 40 days” complete! Thank you to everyone who has contributed to my master’s thesis project on identity development of ex-Christians; the interviewing process has been so life-affirming and hearing the stories of people in the ex-Christian community has reminded me over and over again why research in this area is so important.
I’ve reached recruitment capacity for this project, but I will undoubtedly be doing additional work on the topic of religious exit in the future. If you’d like me to reach out for a future project or if you’d like a copy of my master’s thesis when it is complete, please feel free to send me a message!
AAAAAAAAHHHH
YA BOY IS A PUBLISHED ACADEMIC IN SOCIOLOGY!!!!
Back in January 2021, I started writing a literature review for a class assignment that grew into something much bigger. My professor, Dr. Don Ebel, noticed my passion for the mental health of ex-Christians and encouraged me to seek publication for my literature review. Back then, I never would have thought publication in any reputable journal was possible, especially for a review article, but two conference presentations and many, many revisions later, it’s officially published as of today in Sociology Compass.
If you’re a student and/or have an institutional library access, the link below will take you right to it. If you’d like to read it but don’t have access to an academic library, please message me and I’ll happily provide a pdf copy. 🙂
(And feel free to share the link or pdf with others who might be interested!)
(P.S., for those who interviewed with me this summer, this is a completely separate project from that one, i.e., my thesis, which is still in the analysis stage.)
https://compass.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/soc4.13030
the sociological imagination is amending “due to personal reasons I will be passing away” to “due to societal reasons I will be passing away,” realizing how fucked that sounds, and using the resulting re-empowerment to make society stop killing you
Hi folx!
I put out a call for participants in Spring 2022 for a research study on the experiences of ex-evangelicals, ex-fundamentalists, and ex-charismatic Christians. I wanted to update you on the progress of this research and provide a little info about where my analysis has led so far.
First, I want to thank those of you, from the bottom of my heart, who participated in this study, vulnerably shared your story, and contributed to a beautiful tapestry of narratives of autonomy, self-discovery, and empowerment. I was overwhelmed in the best way with the outpouring of responses, and I ended up interviewing 31 individuals with similar religious backgrounds. Far more of you wanted to be interviewed than I was able to schedule, and for that I am infinitely grateful.
My original intention with this project was to synthesize the narratives all of you shared into a study exploring the ways ex-Christians navigate the development of the self, and to have the analysis completed towards the completion of my master’s degree in May 2023. My writing and analysis for that paper is about 60% complete. During the time of interviewing and analysis, several complications arose in my own journey of self-discovery related to my own religious exit, that made continued engagement with the data difficult from a trauma perspective. I unfortunately had to put the project on hiatus during this summer, and I pursued a related but different project towards graduation this fall. That “pivot” project was an analytical literature review of existing studies that narrate mental health patterns during the process of religious exit for those leaving their religion. I graduated with my master’s this past Saturday. I would be happy to DM the PDF of that paper to anyone who would like to read it. The Appendix of the paper explains more about my decision to pivot to a different project for graduation, and the impact that this research has had on me as a researcher.
However, the project many of you contributed to is not over. I am committed to getting your stories out to the world, both to an academic audience and the general populace. To that end, I will be continuing the analysis as an independent researcher beginning in the new year, with the goal of having a complete draft to you by end of Summer 2024. During this process, if you would like, I would be more than happy to incorporate any new information you would like to share about your experience and work with one or more of you as beta readers or co-researchers (and thereby include you as a co-author on the paper if it successfully moves towards academic publication). For those I’ve already interviewed, I would also be happy to share your specific interview transcript if you would like to reflect back on the specific knowledge you contributed to the project.
I greatly appreciate your grace and patience with the writing, the analysis, and with me as a researcher-human living a journey alongside yours.
If you would like to assist with the project in any way (beta reading, ideas for analytical direction, contributing additional information or developments in your journey from the past year, being interviewed if you were not during the initial ask), I would be honored to work with you in that capacity. You are more than welcome to DM me with any questions, concerns, comments, or requests.
Thank you so much for existing as your whole self!
-Fio
sooo um hi! I’m a graduate researcher and wondering if folks would be interested in my study! 👉🏻👈🏻
Are you an ex-fundamentalist, ex-evangelical, or ex-charismatic Christian? Me too, and I’m looking for people like us to participate in an academic research study (IRBNet NO: 1873336) on identity development among ex-Christians. If you want to participate, please fill out the screener survey listed on the flyer (bit.ly/aposidscreener). And please share with anyone you know who might be interested! Please message me or email me at fio . haire @ mnsu . edu for more information.
Thanks!
Fio Haire (they/he), master’s student at Minnesota State University, Mankato
Primary Investigator: Dr. Aaron Hoy (he/him), Assistant Professor of Sociology at Minnesota State University, Mankato
[Image description: A multicolored flyer with text that says:
IRBNet NO: 1873336
Research Study for Former Christian Evangelicals, Fundamentalists, and Charismatics
Conducted by Fio Haire and Aaron Hoy at Minnesota State University, Mankato
Now Recruiting Interview Participants
Participants must be:
- 18 or older
- Live in the U.S.
- Be able to converse in English or with assistive technology
- Identify as ex-evangelical/fundamentalist/charismatic
- Not currently identify as Christian
Complete the screener at bit.ly/aposidscreener
Questions? Email fio . haire @ mnsu . edu
Scan here! - image of an arrow pointing to a QR code.
Share your story in a research study on the identity development of ex-Christians!]
The Ethos and Pathos of Aquarion Logos
Aquarion Logos has a lot to say about what we say and how we say it. We encounter words daily and it's how we communicate. This is a show combines sociology and mecha action to create a giant love letter to the written language and logophilia.
Our heroes are all members of the verbalism club, a covert group that operates inside a cafe. Their mission is to fight the M.J.B.K, monsters of the week with the power to corrupt and erase concepts out of existence. These monsters are given life by a man named sougon, someone who feels that words will lead to humanity's Downfall.
The show is just as much about the Mecha violence as it is about sociology. Logos loves to examine how people interact with each other and what outcomes arise from said interactions. Aquarion's philosophy comes from the philosophical concept of logos and the Japanese concept of kotodama. Logos is often defined as reason and discourse. Words are used to provide order and structured knowledge to society and it's absence leads to discord. That's exactly what happens when the mbjk attacks. They ruin humanity's main tool of communication and cause chaos in its wake. Ironically, part of the show's lore involves an ancient war between the truth tribe and the word tribe. The truth tribe opposed the word tribe because words can easily be used to spread lies. Logos as a philosophical concept embodies logic and reason but this show emphasizes how words can have the opposite effect. It was a lack of communication due to the truth tribe not understanding the written word which augmented both side's hostility.
Kotodama( soul of language) is the mystical belief that words can induce magical effects on people and objects. Ever notice how every battle anime and tokusatsu show has the characters shout out their attacks? It probably links back to kotodama. The mbjk are metaphysical embodiments of certain words/concepts. An early Monster is the embodiment of fire, causing inextinguishable flames to break out in Japan and causes mass flame wars online. The effects of the mbjk attacks are based on Japanese wordplay and metaphoric thinking.
Sogon's hatred for words is comparable to the hatred of nature the villains of captain planet share. It's comical when taken at face value but it presents a well-developed argument to be had. Words can be used as tools as destruction and far too often do we use them as such. There's a cavalcade of cyberbullying, verbal abuse and hate speech cases every day. Some people can destroy others with words alone. The purpose of the verbalism club is to combat this dilemma by stressing how words can be used to form strong bonds and enlighten others. This is highlighted by the career choices of the main characters. Kokone is an aspiring actress, Hayato wants to be a politician,Tsutomu wants do be a comedian and Karen wants to be a pop star. All of these are professions which require strong speaking skills and making use of language.
On a side note, Aquarion Logos is one of the strongest mechas in all of fiction. It can kill conceptual beings with raw power and even killed the physical embodiment of nothingness, the same mbjk that almost erased the entire earth and, potentially, the universe, out of existence. It has a stronger form called Aquarion Logos Genesis which embodies the concept of definition and holds the power of infinity. It is at the very least universal in power on top of the concept destruction hax.
In a country where illiteracy and texting addiction is on the rise, maybe America could use a verbalism club. It would be a cool mesh of creative writing, reading, and even a little acting. There are so many problems that could be avoided if more people understood the importance of language. Make verbalism a part of your life by always reading and writing.
Sources
https://www.britannica.com/topic/logos The Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica. “Logos.” Encyclopædia Britannica, Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc., 21 May 2012, www.britannica.com/topic/logos.
https://jpninfo.com/37451 “Kotodama: Do You Believe in the Power of Words?” Japan Info, jpninfo.com/37451.
“Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.” ― Mark Twain
MOON
Don't tell me the Moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass. Anton Chekhov
LOVE HER WILD.
“Maybe love at first sight isn’t what we think it is. Maybe it’s recognising a soul we loved in a past life and falling in love with them again.” ― Kamand Kojouri
“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step" —
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I really haven't had time to argue about something this stupid, but I have a school break, so why not at least try to explain it to everyone ranting at me about how I made a personal choice not to dress correctly.
@alethiaii "It's not patriarchy, nobody pointing a weapon at you to force you to wear them during winter, it's you not using your brain."
Right because if you aren't forced at gunpoint to do something, obviously it was a choice made in a vacuum with absolutely no subconscious psychological and societal pressure created by industries and ideologies that continuously create an ever-changing ideal woman for whom subconscious biases create a peer pressure to conform to, right? None of that exists I guess. I should have just walked in to high school in Men's clothing with no makeup and not given a fuck, right? The way my peers would have treated me in response to my refusal to conform would have had zero effects on my mental health, right? In a world full of liberal feminists where the message I constantly received was one claiming that the more skin they showed, the more makeup they wore, the more they made their "own choice" to shave their legs and pravtice their power walk so as to be "sexy and empowered", in a world where I was taught having power meant that your stilettos and eyeliner were "sharp enough to kill a man" as we used to joke, how was I, as a 15 to 18 year old at the time, supposed to have responded to that message?
And if you think this type of effect doesn't happen between women, allow me to post some backup info and thoughts I saw in a recent post:
@siryouarebeingmocked Sure let's run with the idea that I was referring to the past 3 centuries. The context of my post clearly shows that I was talking about recent history when I said a lean or skinny figure is considered the ideal for women, so let's take a look the last few decades beauty ideals in terms of weight and body type for women, as these are the concepts that would have influenced my thought process as a high schooler in the mid 2010s. Here is some more information on that particular concept and how it came about over the last century.
From Viren Swami, Professor of Social Psychology, Anglia Ruskin University
"If we go back far enough in time and look at sculptures created by ancestral humans populations, we get a very different picture of what the ideal body for women may have looked like. Our ancestors inhabited environments characterised by food shortages and individuals who were able to quickly increase their body mass may have had an advantage in terms of health and even fertility. This is supported by the archaeological record of Venus figurines – such as the “Venus of Willendorf” from the late Stone Age – which suggests that between ten and 100,000 years ago, the ideal female figure was robust and round.
This was the case up until the 19th century... In the late 19th century, this started to change. An idealised image of a woman with a slight shape and a small, corseted waist, sloped shoulders, tapered fingers and delicate feet started to emerge in North America and Western Europe. Known as the “steel engraving lady”, this ideal came to be associated not only with frailty, weakness and subservience, but also with high social status and moral values.
In the 1920s, the exchange of corsets for new undergarments that bound the breasts created a flat-chested, boy-like appearance. During this era, the beauty ideal shifted to an almost exclusive focus on slenderness, requiring the use of starvation diets and “rolling machines”. It was also in the 1920s that the proliferation of mass media helped to create a standardisation of beauty ideals in North America and Western Europe. Movies and magazines, as well as Hollywood stars, presented a homogenised vision of beauty and it’s also during this period that we see the first adverts for weight loss.
By the 1940s, slender legs became the focus of beauty ideals -– emphasised with hemmed stockings and high-heeled shoes. Bust size also grew in idealised images and would soon become the dominant feature of female ideal beauty. Interestingly, researchers during this period began to document the first instances of negative body image, with women desiring smaller body sizes and larger breasts.
By the time the supermodel Twiggy debuted in the United States in 1966, the trend toward increasingly slender bodies had taken hold. Playboy centrefolds and Miss America pageant winners all showed a decrease in body weight and hip size, and an increase in waist size, bust size and height between the 1960s and 1980s. By the mid-1990s, this female beauty ideal had become synonymous with the thin ideal, which has remained at clinically underweight levels.
It is certainly true that, in the early 1980s, a more muscular ideal of female beauty emerged – exemplified by broad shoulders. In fact, shoulder pads became became the defining fashion statement of the era, known as “power dressing”. Nevertheless, the focus remained on a thin, slender body shape. Likewise, the re-emergence of particular types of exercise regimens – such as high intensity interval training and weightlifting – has resulted in a more muscular ideal for women more recently, but typically the ideal remains thin.
Another significant change that began in the 1990s was the denigration of overweight women. In popular TV, for example, overweight women were stereotypically portrayed as unintelligent, greedy, and unable to form romantic attachments. There has also been increasing focus on the health risks associated with being overweight across all media. The effect of the combination of the idealisation of thinness and the denigration of overweight has been the homogenisation of a beauty ideal that is unachievable for the majority of women.
Contemporary Western women are exposed to this thin ideal in almost every form of media – from magazines to TV shows and popular films. So it’s no surprise to learn that so many of women in the West are dissatisfied with their bodies. In one large survey of almost 10,000 women in the United States, for example, my colleagues and I found that almost 85% of respondents were dissatisfied with their current body size and wanted to be thinner.
Even more concerning is evidence that the thin ideal is now a global phenomenon, with women in most urban, developed settings – including places like India and China – reporting an idealisation of thinness and a desire to be thinner. For body image scholars, this is worrying because of the overwhelming evidence that body dissatisfaction is a risk factor for disordered eating, consideration of cosmetic surgery, and poorer psychological well-being in general. All this seems to indicate that today’s body standards are indeed becoming increasingly unattainable.
So, have we clearly established that thin and lean was pretty much the ideal body in media influencing my choices subconsciously from 2010 to 2014? I would say yes.
Moving onto the next point made by several people:
"Why did you shave in the winter?"
"Why didn't you just buy warmer clothes?"
"Why would you wear leggings when it's cold out?"
And here's your answer: because society told me that's what I should be doing. And we are right back to the toll taken on anyone's mental health who chooses to strongly stand out from the socialized status quo. (More on that in a moment).
Here is what you might call the starter pack for my high school in 2010:
And here are some photos off pinterest when you search the term "cold winter outfits"
You will notice they are ALL wearing leggings, even a decade later. But let's look at some of their gear. I mentioned the starter pack- it contains what are the target version of Ugg Brand boots. They were not very warm but all I really did was stand at the bus stop in them. Take a look at the other photos now. Many of the women, despite the leggings, have on warm, well made boots made by a brand called Sorel. How do I know they are warm? Because I have three pairs. They retail around $175 to $250 a pair. I have 5 siblings, my parents did not have the money for those kind of boots. My coats were from JCPenny or Kohl's and I didn’t discover sown coats until I was 25.
Nowadays, I wear four layers, my sorely boots, my snowpants, my Columbia down coat, my well made mittens and my hat that is warm but also supports children's cancer research (check out Love Your Melon for more info on that) and I don't give a shit about how I look. But 17 year old me? Let me just post a link from @dykemind on how the pressure of invisible forces might affect your psyche.
So yes. I wore leggings in high school when it was -20° fucking Fahrenheit to stand at the bus stop. My coat wasn't the warmest one on the planet. I wore knockoff Ugg boots and poorly applied eyeliner and skinny jeans that were tissue paper thin. And I did it because everyone else did it.
And yes, the guys still made stupid jokes when we complained about being cold. So maybe it was all just male immaturity. Maybe it was poorly made clothing. Maybe I should have spent any money I saved on warmer clothes brands which I didn't know existed. Maybe I should have snapped out of all the societal influence and made my own choices. But how many female high schoolers do you know who don't stick to the status quo for the most part?
As someone who grew up in the coldest state in the midwest, literally nothing was more annoying than guys mocking us girls growing up for "being a wimp and getting cold so easily". Like, excuse me, but I would like to see a high school aged boy to try and survive a Minnesota January after shaving all the hair off their legs and underarms, while wearing a coat that is designed not with their warmth, but with the transparency of their figure, in mind, and wearing the thin black leggings from Target or Pink or wherever. Not to mention a lean figure has always been made to be the ideal over one for women.
I would like to start a sociology class hate club. In what universe is an assessment of 40 questions a quiz? Call it an exam or test because then I will take it seriously and not tank my 4.0 on a class that has nothing to do with my major. I am done with your hypotheticals and trick questions
Sociology
More like kiss my ass loser
Maintain GPA!
That is my haiku to destress. Sociology taught by an old white man has nothing on me. Especially since he comes to class late sometimes. Not my problem.
i bet marx is laughing at you now capitalism supporters
"No one ever tries to flee capitalism."
Well, that was a lie.
NCT 127 enneagram types
warning: this is kind of long but i researched so much about enneagrams for this :)
++ i love these boys with all my heart. this is just how i see them as personality types (strengths, psyche, and flaws)
one: the perfectionist
JAEHYUN - 1w2 (but i want to say 1w3) i think jae is a one or a three, but i placed him in one because his perfect image is what he wants to actually become and project to others. jaehyun has most of the qualities of a one: a big perfectionist, responsible, honest, and improvement-oriented. he probably self-condemns when he doesn’t achieve the results he wants, and works to become the perfect image of himself. he holds himself to a very high standard, and most likely holds others to relatively high standards as well, especially if they affect his way to perfection. i think he tends to hold his anger in through silent resentment. jaehyun has a dominant two-wing. he’s aware of the needs of others and strives to fulfill them in the hopes that they’ll need him in their lives. he seeks love and affection.
++ i really want to say he has a three-wing, though a 1w3 isn’t a thing, since he’s high-achieving, image-conscious, competitive (comparing with others), and enthusiastic.
DOYOUNG - 1w9 doyoung is a member who’s hard to read but i think he’s a 1w9. as a one, doyoung is also a perfectionist, but may be a bit less of a perfectionist than jaehyun. he is honest, responsible, and improvement-oriented. he makes very practical decisions, and tends to follow his head instead of his heart, weighing the pros and cons of each choice. he probably thinks back on past mistakes and continuously regrets them, working hard to not make the same mistake again. doyoung is very aware of how others perceive him; he desires love and admiration from others. what makes doyoung and jaehyun really different, though, are their corresponding wings. doyoung’s nine-wing allows him to be more rational than jaehyun, who may think more emotionally/subjectively. (doyoung definitely places importance in his emotions, though, especially as they play a great role in his singing capabilities.) doyoung would also undertake greater costs to stay at harmony with others than jaehyun.
two: the helper
JUNGWOO - 2w3 wow! a BIG BIG two. jungwoo loves taking on the role as caretaker. he mostly acts on his emotions but also considers the practicality of his actions in regards to how they will affect other people’s well-being. he seeks acceptance and accomplishment, like taeyong (3w2), but the difference is that jungwoo seeks accomplishment in relationships with others (forms of love). jungwoo is easily adaptable and understands what people want in relationships. he fears that if people are not dependent on him for his care and love, he will become worthless (pride that he is indispensable in relationships). setting boundaries might be hard for him, and he may feel that he is not loved for himself but for what he does for others sometimes. he’s really good at being affectionate and encouraging others, and is well-liked.
three: the performer
TAEYONG - 3w2 (i had research on him bc i’m a three) i’m almost completely positive taeyong is a three; i’m a three (w2 also hehe) myself and i definitely see him as one too. he’s image-conscious, a high achiever, driven, organized, and overworked. he speaks enthusiastically and encourages himself and others to succeed - an important quality as a leader. earning recognition and social networking seem important to him. taeyong is good at naturally sensing who holds the “power” in a room. he is probably more impressive and charismatic when on stage or talking to a large group of people than he is one-on-one. to be completely honest, taeyong is not a natural leader but a person who has developed his leadership qualities in order to reach the success he craves. i think taeyong also has a big two wing; he strives to be loved by others (it’s important that everyone likes him).
four: the romantic
[no one - probably because fours are really introverted and don’t tend to become celebrities.]
five: the observer
MARK - 5w6 mark is a five. mark is a bit of an introvert, might be stingy at times (i also just remembered doyoung said he never saw mark’s wallet before the sudden bag reveal vlog LMAO ily mark), and likes to process things. he has an intellectual side to him and wants to master his interest (music). as a five, mark is really uncomfortable with touch. (tbh as soon as richard rohr (the author) said fives don’t like touch, i was like, “mARk!) he places importance in privacy and freedom, but he also feels isolated because of it. he seeks a balance between his private life and social life. understanding and expressing his emotions might be a challenge to him. as a person with a 6 wing, mark is loyal and loves the people he defines as “his community.” mark is subconsciously cautious of people, though, and it takes time for him to open up. he worries a lot - too much, sometimes. rules are important to him, and he likes making agreements. [edit may 2020: i now strongly suspect he might also be a 1]
six: the loyal skeptic
WINWIN - 6w5 wow i had such a hard time figuring winwin out that i said i didn’t know his enneagram type in my first post but now i think he’s obviously a 6w5. he might also be a 5w6, but he seems to give me more of a six vibe than a five vibe. as a six, sicheng desires support and guidance from the people he trusts. it is hard to get sicheng to emotionally open up - i think that with his shy side as a five and his distrustful side as a six, winwin might be the most difficult member to truly get close to in all of nct. i think that nct 127 - besides the language barrier - is a healthy environment for winwin because nct 127 absolutely adores him. winwin is arguably the bias of every member in nct 127, from yuta (who is not afraid to tell winwin that he is absolute love) to mark (who is slightly shy about expressing it but loves winwin so much). winwin’s lovable energy is his natural disposition, but i also think that he subconsciously maintains it beacuse of his desire as a six to be accepted and supported by others. through his lovable energy, winwin is able to feel stable and reassured in his social networks, thereby eliminating all of winwin’s potential social insecurity inside the group. as a six with a five wing, winwin obviously does not love being touched, kissed, or hugged most of the time. he is a bit introverted, and is the type to become completely immersed in a subject he’s interested in (ex. his dancing); he wants to master it completely. winwin also values his privacy.
YUTA - 6w7 okay so: yuta is really confusing though he’s also one of my favorites. i had a hard ass time trying to figure him out, and i edited this post in february 2020 to move him from 8 to 6. yuta seems to be emotionally distant from others to an extent - due to a classic 6 fear that he’ll lose security or be hurt if he easily opens up emotionally. he is loyal and very expressive to the people he trusts and knows won’t hurt him, though (ex. winwin, sicheng, wayv’s ‘97 baby... ). maybe he likes winwin so much because he sees his six side in winwin (but in a slightly different way). i used to think he was a bit of a three because he places great importance on how people see him (ex. his written goal in nct life was to become a man who everyone would see as accomplished), and because he hold bit of arrogance in the image he desires as a “masculine” man. now i think those are his classic six desires to fight against his insecurity and to be supported through his “masculine” image, though. his seven wing seems to show in the way that he does love to socialize with people, though, especially the ones he actually trusts (as a six), and in the way that he naturally brings energy to groups.
seven: the epicure
(LMAO i had to)
HAECHAN - 7w6 haechan is a seven. he’s positive, extroverted, spontaneous, fun-loving, and always seeking an adventure. he’s a quick thinker - which contributes to his funny, clever comments. he reads people very well, like taeyong. i think the difference between a seven and a three’s social networking, though, is that while a seven enjoys social networking in itself, a three enjoys it because it can help them reach success. haechan fears “missing out” on events, is not too efficient in dealing with the “bad” side of things (denies pain), and is a bit impatient and impulsive. he may get bored of things quickly. he wants to have fun in life with others. haechan seems to have a dominant 6 wing; he’s very loyal to the people he considers important in his life. he questions rules, but also follows the ones he believes in. as a 7w6, he does doubt the intentions of the ones he is not very close with and seeks safety and comfort.
nine: the mediator
JOHNNY - 9w8 (johnny took me literally 3 minutes, what a king) AN 9w8 ALL THE WAY! i really hope no one disagrees with me on this one. johnny is an amazing people-person (9), and a natural leader (8) who doesn’t feel the necessity to lead. (basically, he has the qualities of a leader but he would rather help harmonize with others than aggressively lead.) he speaks assertively (as a w8) but with regard for other opinions, maybe in the form of adding an “i think so” or a laugh at the end. he’s not too concerned with regulations unless it impacts relationships with others or he thinks they are fair. fairness is very important to him - a classic quality in an 8. he can be extremely stubborn if he genuinely believes in his point, and assertively does his best to defend the person he believes is “right” in an argument while trying to come to an agreement. johnny wants to be at peace with himself and others, and is afraid of being separated from the world. maybe he is a bit ambivalent inside. i think people who are 8w9 and 9w8 are very interesting because the types 8 (assertive leader) and 9 (neutral harmonizer) almost contradict each other. johnny is the perfect balance, a natural leader in the shadows who loves to create harmony.
TAEIL - 9w1 (taeil actually didn’t take me that long, ily taeil) taeil definitely seems like a nine to me. he seeks harmony and avoids conflict with others. he’s accepting, fair, and seems a bit dispersed (not in a bad way). he doesn’t seem to like when someone comes off too strong. he probably has occasional eruptions but usually avoids anger through passive aggression. taeil is also such a 9w1. he strives for perfection in what he does, is honest, and is responsible. he places importance in feeling connected to others (but also values his private life).
ngl after @aretheygayvideos stopped making AreTheyGay content (about a year ago) I was hesitant to watch his sociology videos- I was scared. of finding misogyny or, at least, of finding the exhausted cisgender male perspective of the sociological topics I knew he was beginning to cover
SO I MISSED HIM TELLING US HE'S TRANS (great job, me)
it's so fucking tiring trying to find media to connect with only to have 80+% of people beat your extended hand back with a stick. as a person who is pan, trans, aspec, and mixed race, at least one of my identities always seems to be in contention at all times. I'm used to listening to my gut and falling away from creators as their content and takes delve closer to the Zone That Is Likelier Than Not Going To End Up Hurting Me If I Watch It
I'm not even halfway through his video on being a trans kid and I needed to write down somewhere what I'm feeling. Seen. (except for the part where he, pre-HRT, passed as an androgynous boy in high school- that's fucking crazy and I'm so goddamn jealous)
I was also a "tomboy girl" who then at around 6/7 realized something was Wrong with how others saw me. for a while, I assumed that problem was me- being a girl - so I punished and belittled girlhood. that, of course, didn't fix the problem of people seeing me Wrong.
in my life, labels have been a safehaven because they have given me a beacon to light in search of others like me. upon finding the definition of genderfluid after god knows what of a google search query, I cried for a good bit. I was 10.
my experience of trans childhood is a good bit different from Alex's. for a lot of reasons, but especially because I hid who I was from my parents until my eighteenth birthday. so any gender-affirming care other than secretly binding when I was 17 wasn't realistically available to me. now, I'm an adult.
Alex does not owe the world his life story. no one does. I deeply appreciate that he chose to share some of it with the public.
knowing that there are people out there who, as kids, got support from their families, passed as the gender they wished to, made it to graduating college, and - most importantly - are kinda happy? gives me a lot of hope for myself. and the next generation of kids. helps me picture a happy future for myself.
as for rediscovering a YouTuber I sort of fell away from a year ago- I've been on a PhilosophyTube kick recently and finding Alex again has made me look forward to watching the hours of sociology content of his I haven't seen yet. thanks for keeping the light on for me, Alex. I can't wait to see what you do going forward.
after hbomberguy’s video, im hoping people go check out alexander avila’s channel: transmasculine folks are highly underrepresented in the video essayist corner of the internet and i’m a huge fan of how he explains concepts
isn't it weird that between the ages of ~20 and late 30s/ 40s, unless you have teenagers in the house or work with them, it's hard to know what they're really like? because of course you're in touch with teenagers when you are one, and then you generally start to know/ be around more once people your age have older kids. i've been seeing a ton of press lately about gen alpha and younger gen z and it's peculiar to not be able to compare it with personal experience.
as kind of a side thought, it's also weird to think that i and people in my age range might interact with gen alpha/ young gen z way more than we realize through social media, but they are homogenized into the ageless everyman of the comment section. maybe that isn't the case though, i suspect my feeds are generally pretty isolated, but it's strange having limited means to find out.
i hadn't really considered any of this until i joined the r/teachers subreddit and found their accounts of teenage culture and emerging trends really interesting. some of today's teenagers' slang, tastes, behaviors and vibes as described in the posts are familiar but some are not, and that little knowledge gap seems to be where sensationalized headlines find a hold.
i'd think this pattern repeats roughly every 15-20 years. is this kind of generational window of oblivion a piece of how generations are distinguished from each other and define their identities? i imagine generations today in western countries are more isolated than at perhaps any other time in history, with the decline of multi-generational households, older average age of marriage and childrearing, and longer lifespans. i'm curious what kinds of cultural effects that might have, if any.
A little goes a long way!
I woke up today at 3:00am.... it was relatively dark. I usually wake up at 5 to do some ill attempt at working out. But! when I woke up today. My body knew it was too early. In my large queen size bed. Half dressed in clothes I dare not put away because well. I 'm a mess. When I need to look do things its hard to find them because they are folded and I cannot Identify what's what! I turn over from facing my wall. To the large pile of clothes that literally take up half of my bed.
In the pile, I sift through the close to find my phone and Wa La. I find my phone and the time of 03:00. From here, I turn back over to face the wall and recover myself with my blanket that's half swallowed by my clothes. The room is cold. And my body is starting to be alert as if I'm awake now. Annoyed at the fact my body is waking up. So does my consciousness. Drifting from the silent space of empty thought. In to this warm aware and loud sounding space in my head.
I turn from the wall on to my back and glare up at the ceiling. Bored already. Time is beginning to move. I don't want to get up. I not want to move my body and force this fat that's been keeping me warm to leave. My natural winter coat. Keeping still, I lay there. lightly thinking of what exercises I should do. This is a morning of many. Bored with this routine, I glare away from the ceiling to my phone and scroll the ticktock. Bored even further with the usuals of what's my (for you) page until I come across. The show "What would you do?"
I like this show because it is a light form of social experiments. Putting people in predicaments to see if they will or will not step up in a time of need. So I watched a few clips and then drift over to YouTube from ticktock. Because the episodes are much longer on YouTubes platform. There I watch some interesting ones. And ones that are a lot more serious. I think I watched five. In this time I have wasted my sleep time watching videos. Now! I'm even more annoyed with myself. I should have just went back to sleep. It's 06:00 and Now I'm up writing. lol
But! one of the videos struck a cord for this entry. The spoiled child! the last video was about a parent who was on a budget of $100.00 and a child who was rude and mean to his mom. He wanted the $200.00 sneakers and she could only afford the $100.00 sneakers. the scene begins where they walk into he store and he's a head of her. She kindly and politely reminds him of there budget a he starts to call her stupid and yell at her. Then he tries to get people on his side. But! Of course the other adults, sided with the mom. And also tries to reason with the 13 year old boy.
Then, this has me thinking about my own experiences. With my mother. Where, one, she would have literally slapped me. And also embarrassed me too for speaking to her like that. And two, she would have gotten a pair of shoes for me without me knowing. I would have been told I have a new pair. That would have been that. Event though my mother took us clothes shopping it was always, stand here and hold that. Or! I would look very annoyed and wait for her to shut the hell up because she decided to have this long drawn out conversation with who'm ever she met that day. About me and how fast I was growing. And how expensive I was becoming for her. HUmmm It's not like I gave birth to myself.
Many times I have heard my mother talk bout how she provided for me and my brother in a way that was triggering for her! (My words not hers) Meaning. She got us all the things that she never had. We did all the things that she was not able to do when SHE was young. so! This has me thinking! About the scenario on "What would you do?" If this was real. Are people projecting on to their children, the way my mother was to me? And if so! Is this the behavior that has come from it? And! Is it the Childs fault? Behaving this way, when in fact. The child is not having their own unique experience. But a parallel reality to their parents. To me this is not a real reality. Parents living through there children are not giving their children what it is the actual child needs. To me its a double edge sword. Can we say that this is emotional vampirism. I give you what you need but I give it to you in the way that feeds me from you?
All this thinking so early in the morning. lol So then, I started to think about another time that I've come across this. My house guest was having an issue with for all intended purposes his stepfather. My house guest's mother and her man are common law married. They have been together for 10 plus years. I believe in the state of New York that is Common law. There have been many ups and many downs. Sided with a plethora of arguments of thee most mundane. At least I thought they were silly until I stopped riding my high horse. Down I came with a lent ear. I wanted to know why they argued all the time.
My house guest was much younger than he is now. When this specific situation occurred. And his response was that there's no space. Which I do agree. It maybe a 3 bedroom apartment but there's more than four people living there. Space was defiantly an Issue. The other reason given was that! there was nothing for him to do! You can imagine my surprise when I heard that response. Nothing? there's nothing you could do!? He says no! So I asked. You need to go further in explanation. How could there be noting for you to do? There's outside. There's the internet. And he just me off and says that he's not allowed to go outside. He's not allowed to be on the internet at a certain time. I gasped for air. I Was lost and confused as to why would you not be allowed to go outside or be on the internet.
To. me I thought he was being dramatic. So I go to his stepfather and asked what's wrong. I know it was none of my business. From time to time we all need to talk about what it is that others us. I'm in my 30's and well my generation is the bridge I like to think that has just begun to say it is okay to have feelings and express them too. The stepfather is pushing 60 I think. I know that he is in his mid to late 50's. In his. time men were raised to be emotionless. Not that they could not show emotion. It was that they could not show one's that made people think less of them.
I understood that I had to walk on egg shells. That this person has a strong history of feeling emotionally attacked. with all this being said it took me a few hours to pierce his wall and let him know that he was in a safe space with me. That what ever was said would be safe. Not shared and not made fun of. Listening is just not, If not, more effective for people's spirit than actually talking. Listening with out interjection. Listing without faces and judgment can really bring life back in to a place that was bare and raw. I eventually had to ask him questions when he started to slow down in his expressions. What had come from this was that his father was never home. His father never cared what he did or did not do. He didn't feel protected. Valued or cared for. So inches way this was how she was showing it to my house guest. But! I tried to explain to him. That what he's expressing to my guest was not his issue. What he is seeing with you is a man who won't let him do anything. A man who's hard on him. and for what?
I love listening to people speak. Because in that second of me telling him what he said. Playing it back of him. Word for word. Slowly. He then realized. How his step son felt. How his feelings were being projected on to my house guest and that he also does that in other areas of his life. Has he changed? A bit! He's much older now! From when this situation happened. Because he is a man who has been taken and manipulated by the system and fell into it's traps. He still has a long way to go. Before he is fully different. But! what is important is that he is man who cares for his children and stayed. I can not believe I've gotten all this from laying down in bed, being bored.
