To Avoid Any Incidents, Please No Dogs In The Warp Core

to avoid any incidents, please no dogs in the warp core

yo i think my doctor got in a fistfight

that’s fucking horrifying

America now follows other countries in requiring 1year mandatory service upon turning 18, except it is working retail instead of going to war. A young teen just started his draft where he would have to man the stations on Black Friday.

Purr-fectly Tipsy

Jim Kirk x gn Vulcan!reader

⚠️: drinking, tipsy reader, extra clingy drunk

word count: 500

Sure, neither of you really drank much, but it was a night after a long shift and everyone was gathered in the recreation room eight. So now you were a little buzzed and looking for your boyfriend because, "I miss his pretty face," is what you had said when Bones asked. You had been pointed to one of the pool tables by Chekov. When you looked over your already flushed face lit up and you made a beeline for him. "I missed you!" You let out when you reached him, clinging to his despite the fact that it hindered his ability to play. "Hi sweetie," Jim cooed and booped your nose. You preened at the affection and leaned even further into him. His pool cue now planted firmly on the ground as he turned his attention to you fully. "Love meeee," You demanded as you shifted your weight and were now practically hanging off of the man. "I do love you sweetie. How much have you had to drink?" He didn't mean it as an insult, he was just concerned that maybe it was time to take you back to your quarters. "Not that much," you bubbled, Jim briefly glanced at Bones who was still at the bar and pointed at you with a questioning look. When Bones gave him a silent thumbs up in response Jim turned back to you in acceptance. "Okay," he answered, putting down his pool cue and leading you to a chair. He sat you down in a chair and then moved to his own, only to have you ditch your seat to climb into his lap. He wasn't complaining by any means, but it was unusually clingy of you (at least for there being so many people around). "Hello there," Jim joked as you put your face in the crook of his neck and nudged him with your nose. You sighed and tugged at his sleeves, getting the hint Jim wrapped an arm around you and began to rub your back. If it were even possible, you melted even further into his touch and purred, a soft vibrating that came from deep within your chest and radiated through your whole body. "Woah!" Jim exclaimed, Spock smiled slightly at his reaction. "They do that sometimes, it's a vestigial trait of Vulcans," Spock explained from across the table. "Would've been nice to know before you nearly gave me a heart attack," Jim whispered to you and you giggled. "I've never done it while sober, so I never really thought bout it," you mumbled truthfully. Jim hummed in response and continued to rub your back, beginning to feel comforted by the purring that was emanating from you. "Mmm, maybe it's time to head up to bed," Jim thought out loud to you, "mmph," you grumbled, not opposed to sleep, but opposed to moving. "What?" He asked, "don' wanna get up," you mumbled. "Fine," Jim conceded and swept you up bridal style, "How's that?" He asked you triumphantly.

reblog this if your blog is a safe space on april fools and won’t have any jumpers, screamers, or anything scary or anxiety inducing

put a shirt on you’re gonna get cold :/