Me Thinking About Mutuals Who Ive Never Spoken To And Admired From Afar

me thinking about mutuals who I’ve never spoken to and admired from afar

I open the eret tag on tumblr

“Eret is a bad guy and their arc is boring.”

I close the eret tag on tumblr

AU where all the parent and sibling figures Tubbo’s adopted are actually one huge family.  

Puffy and Schlatt are siblings.

Puffy’s kids are Dream, DreamXD, Drista, and Foolish. 

Schlatt’s kids are Eret, and Tubbo. 

Tubbo gets separated from his family when he’s little, and is taken in by the SBI. They raise him, and when he and Tommy start world jumping themselves, they eventually make their way to the Smp, where a lot of surprises are waiting…both good and bad.

Okay so I’m watching early L’manberg vods specifically from Wilbur’s perspective, and man, people could honestly do entire analyses on President Wilbur alone. There was so much there to his character, both character positives and character flaws, that we didn’t really take into account to until they multiplied in the Pogtopia era.

The paranoia Alivebur had in Pogtopia? Where he was constantly afraid that people weren’t on his side, that people were going to betray him or that they didn’t respect him? That was there in his presidency too! So much so, in fact! Even weeks before he made the decision to hold a rigged election, even back when he was just a new president, you could see the paranoia creeping in, in his actions, in his words.

Alivebur getting visibly upset whenever members of his nation would associate with members of the Dream SMP, particularly Eret. (His feelings regarding Eret and Eret’s kingship was such a big part of his presidency arc, as well, and I don’t see enough people talking about it). Like, when he saw Niki hanging out with Eret, he got noticeably upset, even to the point of nervous. He started talking about all of the good qualities of Eret that he himself didn’t possess (”I’m a president, I’m an elected official, they can always get rid of me, but Eret is king.” “I’m not going to tell you not to hang out with the attractive, tall, silky-smooth, British man,” “Niki, do you know what jealousy means? (as he looks at Eret),” etc.) He kept comparing his own traits to Eret’s, saying that Eret had better builds, Eret had more power, Eret was more attractive, and so on.

Point being, Alivebur was extremely fixated on all of the good qualities of Eret and the Greater Dream SMP that he, himself lacked. He kept getting extremely paranoid when he saw Niki hanging out with Eret, and being visibly uncomfortable and nervous that she was going to be disloyal to him and L’manberg, even going as far as actively making her promise to remain loyal to L’manberg. It’s also interesting to note that when Niki says she’ll be loyal to him, he starts to mix up his words again and try to state that he doesn’t want her to be loyal to him, but to L’manberg. Only to L’manberg. As we know, this isn’t true, as many of Alivebur’s issues stemmed from the fact that he wanted people to care about him and be loyal to him, and he was always terrified that they weren’t. But this is also extremely in character, because as we know, Alivebur never wanted to state outright that he was struggling with something, he never wanted to open up about his own personal issues and struggles, his own personal mental health issues. He always made it about L’manberg, used the idea of L’manberg to get what he wanted. A case in point being how he was later so insistent on destroying L’manberg, when in reality, this action was a lot more about destroying himself and using the destruction as a way, as an excuse, to commit suicide. Another case is how he held an election to “consolidate power for L’manberg officials,” when in reality, he wanted to make sure his people liked him and respected him.

But, yeah. He was extremely paranoid. Paranoid that his people would leave him and his country, and in this case, specifically that Niki would leave him and his country.

“I need a minute…it’s fine! It’s fine. She doesn’t..she doesn’t…she’s, she’s loyal to L’manberg! She’s loyal to L’manberg.” (Wilbur Soot vods, August 10th).

Alivebur’s trust issues were definitely pretty bad during his presidency. They were much tamer back then, and he didn’t act on his paranoia so drastically as he would later, but they were still there, underlying. He actively has to assure himself, while still in a pretty panicked state, that Niki won’t leave him or L’manberg, despite Niki reassuring him numerous times that Eret was just her friend and she loved L’manberg. It’s clear that a lot of his paranoia stemmed from Eret’s betrayal, which started him down a downward spiral that was present in his presidency. He was constantly afraid that his citizens would betray him, or leave him. He mentions how Eret “betrayed his trust,” noticeably not saying “L’manberg” but “his trust.” These trust issues and paranoia ended up bringing him a lot of stress, and later downright depression as we learned from Ghostbur. All of this would eventually culminate in him attempting to hold a rigged election to consolidate his own power and make sure his citizens respected his leadership (even though they already did, but his mental state convinced him that they didn’t).

These issues, as we would see, would later multiply in the Pogtopia era, but it’s just interesting to see that they were always, in some form, there. Ever since the initial Eret betrayal, Alivebur struggled with severe trust issues and paranoia that he could never get rid of, that plagued his presidency, and ultimately, ended up leading to his downfall.

So, for anyone who hasn’t seen Karl’s latest TFTSMP stream, the in-between stream has a few trigger warnings: 

-Derealization 

-Flashing lights

-Rapid movement 

-loud noises

as you should to be honest

i am slowly considering c!eret apologism as of late