Yuri On Ice!! AU

Yuri On Ice!! AU

figure skating up-and-comer Cody, discouraged after an untimely accident in training spooked him right before the Grand Prix, returns to his home town of Kamino after graduating from college to consider his next steps surrounded by family

his younger brother, former-high-school-hockey-player-now-local-ice-rink-owner Rex, has never fully understand his dreams of growing up to be on the same level as figure-skating wunderkind Obi-Wan Kenobi, but has always done his best to support Cody's choices

Cody decides to thank Rex by putting on a performance for him, imitating a recent short program from his idol (rumored to be one of his last, given his suggestion that he's courting burnout and considering retirement from competitive skating in a few recent interviews), which their little sister Omega sneakily records and posts to the rinks youtube channel

Cody is Mortified at the prospect of others seeing his work after his disgraceful last public performance, but the video is immediately a huge hit

it's so popular that even Obi-Wan Kenobi himself sees it, and immediately decides to drop everything and fly out to Kamino to coach Cody himself, veritably throwing himself at the younger skater at every opportunity

Cody is, of course, flustered by the sudden attention from his long-time crush and professional role model, but is determined to prove his worth as a student...

...only for Obi-Wan's former junior rink mate Anakin to show up and start making demands of Obi-Wan's time and attention

and that fires up Cody's competitive side: he's ready to throw his all into his skating with Obi-Wan at his side!

Cody starts mentoring Anakin too on the side, fully committed to a partnership in this endeavor! if Anakin wants Obi-Wan's attention, he's getting Cody's too!

Anakin goes back to Coruscant pretty quickly after that

Now I would appreciate a fic where Anakin Skywalker just kills Palpatine on accident. I was watching revenge of the sith and through the whole sequence of Obi-wan and Anakin saving Palpatine from the ship I was thinking: “Anakin is waving his damn sabre EVERYWHERE it’s a miracle he hasn’t hit something on accident” and then bam: idea.

In Anakin’s defence there’s a LOT going on so like it’s not his FAULT that he wasn’t looking where he was slicing and the next thing he knows Palpatine’s head is no longer on his shoulders but rolling down some flight of stairs and Anakin just sort of,, pees himself a little.

“Oh. Shit.”

A whole mile away Mace Windu is sitting in his quarters and suddenly the migraine in the back of his head disappears and he’s like “whoa.” And then jokingly is like “who had to be sacrificed for that damn ache to finally go away.” Turns out!

Obi-wan, through a holo-call, (with Anakin skywalker furiously sobbing and heaving through snot and coughs in the background): hey so, we should look into getting Skywalker some ADHD medication.

The Jedi council: why? What has happened?

Obi-Wan: just a little loss of focus, it happens to the best of us.

If Obi-Wan had actually stayed on Mandalore with Satine after the Civil War and left the Jedi Order, it would've made The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones peak comedy.

Like, Qui-Gon would still be sent to Naboo and end up on Tatooine, he'd still meet Anakin and take him back to the Temple. But, in this AU, he survives the battle on Theed and takes Anakin as his padawan. And the entire Order would be making jokes:

"Congrats on the new padawan! Hope he sticks around longer than the last one!" "We'll keep this one off the bodyguard missions, eh Qui-Gon?"

So one day little Anakin’s like "hey master, what happened to your last padawan?" And Qui-Gon's like "oh he ran off with a girl, yeah he's royalty in the Outer Rim now".

And it's all fine and dandy until Anakin’s nineteen and they get assigned to protect Padmé, and Qui-Gon takes one look at this kid's face and thinks "You've got to be fucking kidding me, this shit again??"

Star Wars: How the prequel trilogy mirrored and rhymed the original

Debunking more myths in the GFFA: the Jedi and the clones.

I wrote a post debunking the various myths about how “the Jedi condone slavery”, a while ago. Something I had omitted (because it’s such a big topic) was the following two statements that concern the clone troopers’ relations with the Jedi:

“The clones were genetically bred to have accelerated growth, so they’re technically child soldiers.”

“The clones were slaves of the Jedi.”

Both the above statements are inaccurate, let’s explore why. 

“The clones were child soldiers”

Let’s get the easy one out of the way first, because it’s a logic that cuts both ways. If age is our only determination of the maturity of a Star Wars character, then Grogu is not a baby. He is aged 50, and is thus a middle-aged man.

Who cruelly eats the babies of a woman…

… and knowingly tortures animals for his own sadistic pleasure.

Of course, I’m kidding. Grogu’s none of the above things.

The narrative frames him as a cute baby who does innocent baby stuff. Him eating the eggs is played off as comedic, as is him lifting with the frog. To this day, some fans still call him “Baby Yoda”.

Conversely, despite the clones being 10/14-years-old, their actions, behaviors, way of thinking, sense of humor, morals etc, are all those of an adult.

Like, Ahsoka is technically older than Rex in this scene.

The scene doesn’t portray them as peers, though. This isn’t written as “a teen and a tween talking”. No, Rex looks, acts and behaves like a grown-up and is thus framed as such by the narrative.

You can make the argument “they’re child soldiers”, but (unless you’re doing so in bad faith) you’d also have to argue that “Grogu’s an adult”.

“The clones were the Jedi’s slaves”

Nope. For all intents and purposes, they’re in the same boat as the Jedi, who George Lucas stated multiple times had been drafted to fight in the war.

Again: both the Jedi (monk/diplomats untrained for fighting on a battlefield) and clones (literally bred en masse only to fight) are being forced to fight by Palpatine and the Senate.

Though, on paper, the clones were commissioned by Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas, it was actually done by the Sith (who either manipulated or assassinated Sifo-Dyas then stole his identity, depending on the continuity you choose to adhere to). The rest of the Jedi had no idea these clones were being created.

So while the clones are slaves… they’re not owned by the Jedi.

They’re the army of the Republic, they belong to the Senate. This isn’t exactly a scoop, they refer to the clones as something to purchase…

… and manufacture.

As far as the Senate’s concerned, clones are property, like droids. 

Like there’s a whole subplot in The Bad Batch about this very point: after the war, the clones are decommissioned and left out to dry because they literally have no rights, they served their purpose.

The only trooper to ever canonically blame the Jedi for the clones’ enslavement is Slick, who the narrative frames as having been bribed and manipulated by Asajj Ventress into betraying his comrades.

Also, the only canonical Jedi shown to ever be mean, dismissive or mistreating the clones in any way, is Pong Krell.

And it’s eventually revealed he’s in fact a full-on traitor, hence why the story frames him as an antagonistic dick from the moment he’s introduced. He doesn’t represent the Jedi in any way.

We know this because the other Jedi we’ve been shown are always prioritizing their clones’ lives over theirs, if given the chance.

Finally, if we wanna get even more specific… as Commander-in-Chief of the Grand Army of the Republic (GAR), the clones belong to Palpatine. 

Palpatine who is a Sith Lord. 

Palpatine who arranged for the creation of the clones and had them all injected with a chip that would activate upon hearing a code-word…

… and forced them to murder their Jedi without hesitation or remorse.

When you bear all that  ⬆️  in mind and when you read this quote by George Lucas…

“The Jedi won’t lead droids. Their whole basis is connecting with the life force. They’d just say, ‘That’s not the way we operate. We don’t function with non-life-forms.” So if there is to be a Republic army, it would have to be an army of humans.”    - The Star Wars Archives: 1999-2005, 2020  

… narratively-speaking, everything falls into place.

Sidious knows that:

If he orchestrates a war designed to thin the Jedi’s numbers, corrupt their values and plunge the galaxy into chaos…

If he wants to draft the Jedi - peace-keeping diplomats who’d never willingly join the fray - to fight in his war…

… then the only way they won’t resist the draft and abstain from fighting is if they think joining the conflict will save lives.

So he creates a set of cruel, sadistic villains for them to face, opponents who will target innocent civilians at every turn…

… and instead of lifeless droids, he prepares for the Jedi an army of men… living, mortal people who, despite being well-trained, will be completely out of their league when facing the likes of Dooku…

… Ventress…

… Grievous…

… Savage Opress…

… or the defoliator, a tank that annihilates organic matter.

Thus, in order to save as many clone and civilian lives, the Jedi join the fray despite knowing that doing so will corrupt their values. 

And as the war rages on, a bond of respect is formed between the two groups.

Clearly, the Jedi don’t like the fact that the Republic is using the clones to fight a war, but for that matter, they don’t like being in a war, in fact they advocated against it.

However, it’s happening regardless of their issues with the idea or personal philosophies. Said The Clone Wars writer Henry Gilroy:

“I’d rather not get into the Jedi’s philosophical issues about an army of living beings created to fight, but the Jedi are in a tough spot themselves, being peacekeepers turned warriors trying to save the Republic.”

And bear in mind, the Jedi are basically space psychics, the clones are living beings that they can individually feel in the Force… 

… so the Jedi feel every death but need to move on, regardless, only being able to mourn the troopers at the end of every battle.

We see this in the Legends continuity too, by the way.

(that is, when the writers actually try to engage with the narrative)

Also, if you ask the clones, they’re grateful the Jedi have their backs.

When Depa Billaba voices her concerns about how the war is impacting the Jedi’s principles, troopers Grey and Styles are quick to make it clear how grateful they all are for the Jedi’s involvement:

So the clones aren’t the Jedi’s slaves. If anything, they’re both slaves of the Republic (considering how low the Jedi’s status actually is in the hierarchy).

Only I’d argue the clones have it much, much worse. 

The Senate sees the Jedi as “ugh, the holier-than-thou space-monk lapdogs who work for us”… but a Jedi has the option to give up that responsibility. They can leave the Order, no fuss or stigma. 

A clone trooper cannot leave the GAR! If they do, they’re marked for treason and execution. Again, they’re not perceived as “people”.

And it doesn’t help that the Kaminoans, the clones’ very creators, see the troopers as products/units/merchandise. A notion that the Jedi are quick to correct whenever they get the chance.

How The Clone Wars writers describe the clones’ relationship with the Jedi.

Keep reading

My love and obsession for the Marvel Animated shows from my childhood just resurfaced suddenly and now they are all all I can think about. Hulk and the Agents of SMASH was my favorite!

E-12041 is where Ultimate Spider-Man, Avengers Assemble, and Hulk Agents of Smash took place.

E-17628 is where Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy, Marvel's Spider-Man, and Avengers: Black Panther's Quest took place.

E-TRN684 is where Marvel Rising took place.

Which Marvel Animated Earths do you prefer?