What Kind Of Love Are You?

What kind of love are you?

Love as a Flaw

Cowering, your love hides in the dark. In shadows and under cover of night, your love runs from corner to corner, afraid to linger, afraid to be caught. Afraid, afraid, afraid of everything. When you fall in love, it is with alarm bells ringing. Your love is a mistake, a flaw in the code, a purchase you don’t remember making and desperately want to return. You didn’t ask for this. You didn’t want this. It’s a problem–– your problem ––and you would do anything to pass it off, burn it away, scoop it out of you with bare hands, or carved out with hooked knives before it can destroy you. Get it out, just get it out now. You don’t care who you hurt in the process, only that you can’t afford to be hurt first. Being loved by you is to be loved by a figment of the imagination. It is to be loved in halves, or not at all.

About Karma's wardrobe, behavior & the reasons behind them turned into a half character study thesis.

One word: outrageous.

From her weapons, wardrobe, horse and behavior; Karma is absolutely outrageous. She is more than aware she's very attractive, beyond talented both as a marksman and as a rider. She is a mystery, but not many people stop to think about exactly who is she, where did she came from, why, what's her true name because Karma stifles those questions with blinding flair before they are formed. She doesn't hide what defines her: she kills people for a living, she's fast with perfect aim, great with horses, she swings both ways, doesn't mind more than one person with her in bed.

So many scandalous facts that nobody has any of those crucial questions, only wondering how the hell is she still alive. She's wondering that too. She doesn't speak too much, actions are much louder, flashier: be it a trick on a horse or hitting a seemingly impossible target or seducing a married woman.

Her clothing, all custom made and it shows; not only she wears pants in that period of time, somehow she managed to have that fact the least extreme as her wardrobe consists of:

As expensive as it looks and it never fails to have its effect, the initial shock, the double, triple takes usually earning a smug smirk from the decorated woman.

However, Karma isn't the only showstopper, her horse, Villám is a star on her own:

A half Lipizzan, most importantly half Akhal Teke pure black mare with a coat that seems to glisten like oil. Agile, slim with defined muscles, elegant and intelligent; the unique racehorse is a fitting companion for a woman so...bold. Villám is a beauty, a definite rarity probably only seen on the ranches, estates of the richest. Their bond is outstanding, shining the best when Karma decides to entertain curious children (and adults peeking from curtains) with her esquetarian skills and she isn't the only showoff in this duo. Just like owner or more akin to friend, Villám is proud, mischievous, playful and loves the attention.

The less trained eyes notice her dual revolvers last. 10" Colt Buntline, with decorated grips and the trigger guards missing from the frames (although that little detail goes undetected); basically rifles in quickdraw holsters.

The reactions are mixed depending on the people: fear, outrage, intrigue. Whenever she only wants to die dressed like that, the experienced ones recognize the challenge she radiates with each thundering step of steel heeled boots, others want her story, some wants to see if she's up for sex. Karma aims for intrigue and she never misses her target. She doesn't tell anything that isn't directly asked, her voice is soft, melodic, pleasant to listen to, with a musical lilt when speaking Spanish. Her smile is bright and sparkling but her eyes are sharp, barely hiding the black mamba she actually is.

She came to turn the town upside down, be the gossip of the month, be remembered for years, the reason old ladies clutch their rosaries tighter when she saunters by. Her walk is confident, proud with a sharp sway of narrow hips; head turning for many reasons.

Local races? Shooting competitions? By all means count her in! What do you mean by women can't enter? Now there's a previously hidden rattlesnake shot dead in the grass a few yards distance. Was the demonstration enough? If not, at least the very manly men will have fun watching a girl struggle with those activities. And despite fitting the rich poser category so perfectly, the men doesn't get their amusement because all flair she carries is backed up by tremendous amount of talent. Best, fastest shot, deadly accuracy even from horseback, winning every race riding without spurs, riding crop and sometimes even without a saddle; the crosshair eyed woman keeps upping the stakes so effortlessly.

Karma is only in for the thrill and the applause. She is magnetic, a siren, challenging, tempting anyone to chase after her achievements, take bigger and bigger risks, try to follow her blazing lead. And when they thought they gave it all, is when she uncovers she is perfectly ambidextrous, exactly how long range can that modified Colt cover, how fast Villám truly is; leaving everyone lured into the death of their ego while she victoriously gallops away into the desert where she emerged from. After all, she's in for a good not a long time.

Why. Why would an unmarried lone woman live in a way that would still earn many eyebrow raises even nowadays? Why would she take on the most dangerous bounties, kill in cold blood and then give the orphaned kid $100 from the bounty she collected? As mentioned previously: thrill. Adrenaline at all cost. To live, to feel alive. Karma feels extremely hollow, as if she had died already (she, in fact did.), only the fiercest desert heat can warm her up, the split second of tranquility before pulling the trigger and adrenaline strike after like lightning. Risky sexual encounters that make her blood sing, an other person's strong, quickening heartbeat against her usual lazy, steady rhythm. Feverish pulse points, roaring life, the standing ovation and screams of amazement after an especially risky trick; she lives for it. Exists to live, chasing life in the rarest form while corpses line her path.

After all, she isn't a savior no matter her good and selfless deeds. Taking a life comes just as naturally. She is a killer, not lurking in the darkness (...not while having a vacation after a job), not even hidden in plain sight, but blinding most with her looks, mannerisms, skills, sexual liberty. She makes it seem you know her. But exactly what do you know? That she fucked the handsome ranch hand? And the sheriff's mistress? That she paid the old man's tab at the saloon who got injured in the war? That she seems to spit on everything the Bible and the preacher say? But have you noticed how her eyes linger so sharply; looking for her next target, her next pay? Where is she from? Do you even believe she was telling the truth when she said she's a bounty hunter? What kind of name is ‘Karma’ anyways? Have you asked about the scar forming a crosshair around her eye, how she's gotten it? Of course not. Have you seen her shoot a man faster than eye could follow and walk away completely unfazed, as if it's an everyday occurrence? Did you think that was normal?

Her radiance obscures her shadow of death, almost too long, spidery fingers compensating for the length of the ten inch barrels when it comes to draw. Her kindness towards the less fortunate hides her searching cold gaze for the ones responsible. Her encouraging dazzling smile eager for drunkenly spilled stories, secrets given so freely in hope to impress.

At the end of the day, she is just a strange attractive woman with pricey custom tailored clothing and an even more expensive horse. You have nothing to worry about! You aren't the one responsible why was Mrs Jackson widowed and violated at such young age, are you?

Hunor Végváry fell in love with Arizona at first sight. He built his dream ranch about a hundred miles from the border, around a natural creek for clean water supply. He came from noble background, although most of his fortune was earned by horse breeding in Hungary. Eventually the little country wasn't enough for him, especially after purchasing four Akhal Teke horses, two with pure cremello coats, one glowing dark bay and a stunning black with one marble blue eye. In addition to the four extremely rare gems, the Véghváry Ranch was also home to Mustangs, Thoroughbreds, a few Quarter horses and a Hungarian heritage: Lipizzan.

Hunor was determined to give the majestic animals the best treatment possible and sell them to trusted buyers or fellow breeders. With the surprisingly wide gene pool, many great racehorses were born, healthy and free from most hereditary diseases caused by inbreeding. While most in his profession only could admire and congratulate him on his results, jealousy and envy, especially because of the ethereal jewel horses also followed him. He married an enchanting woman, Myra whom he once discovered whispering sweet nothings to one of the cremello Akhal Teke named Pearl. True love at first sight; how could he not when even the mere sight of her bewitched him.

After marriage, a baby girl was born, inheriting her mother's effortless grace and abilities regarding animals and her father's eyes along with his stubbornness. Hunor had everything he ever dreamed of having: a loving wife, a beautiful daughter and a safe environment for his horses. It all turned to smoke when their house caught on fire one night. Carrying his daughter to safety from the burning building, then immediately running back into the flames for his trapped wife. After a few minutes passed and there was no sign of him, many ranch hands decided to follow after him in vain hope. The raging inferno of a building collapsed after a two minutes. Karma was ten.

Investigation ruled out any accidents, determining arson as the cause which claimed 12 lives in total. The suspect or suspects weren't found at that time. While the remaining employees tried their best to look after the spooked, traumatized horses while dealing with grief of their loved ones and friends, Hunor's brother, Attila moved down with his family to avoid Karma ending up in foster care. Attila was...a violent man. A sergeant in the army with loud and flawed opinions; his wife Lorella was kind, quiet and patient, trying to give Karma as much comfort as possible. Their daughter, Rozália was four years older than Karma, it was clear Attila wanted her to follow in his footsteps.

After losing her parents and many others whom she considered family, Karma rarely spoke, didn't even tell her first name to her uncle. Lorella once calmed her after a particularly violent nightmare that karma will catch the ones responsible, even if the law won't; therefore her name was born. Despite barely keeping contact with his brother prior to the tragedy, Attila acted like he owned the place, Karma often caught him mistreating, overworking younger horses. Rozália proved to have a natural gift regarding horseriding, one of the blood bay Thoroughbreds taking a liking to her. It was a strangely aggressive mare, in Attila's words useless for both breeding and racing due to her temper. Yet she liked Rozália, and despite being an atheist, Karma could see the resemblance to Bellum, the Horseman of War whenever her cousin rode on Vihar.

After a few years it was more like a competition than friendly family banter, disapproved by Lorella but silenced with a cracking slap upon voicing her opinion about pitting the cousins against each other. During this time Karma realized she was born with hypermobility and a near impeccable aim. Rozália had many advantages over her, but Karma had a natural talent regarding firearms and ultimately she was the better esquetarian, which pissed off Attila to no end.

Karma suffocated for six years under that excuse of a man, during one of his even worse drunken rage Lorella fled with blood sweeping from her face, dragging Rozália with her who looked like ready to murder her own father with her bare hands. One of Hunor's loaded antique Winchester rifle in hand, Karma chased her uncle off her ranch. He never returned.

Now fresh and rightful owner of the Véghváry Ranch, one of the sleazy competitor breeder immediately made an offer for the horses and property. The heiress responded accordingly to his tone, shooting his hat off without hesitation and announcing if he opens his mouth again she will aim for the head.

With the increased duties Karma became homeschooled, helping, learning as much as she could from her father's books which thankfully were stored in a separate building along with his gun collection. While Hunor only had display or paperweight purposes for most, Karma was drawn to them, especially the 10" Colt Buntline Specials and the new production Winchester lever action rifles. She honed her newfound skills with passion and a wild spark in her emerald eyes. Her fingers were long, almost freakishly so, slim and dexterous, reflexes unrivaled with great movement prediction; every trait that would've made her a famous and feared gunslinger two hundred years ago.

But it turned out, she didn't miss out on the Wild West experience. The ranch was close to the border, cartel activities weren't unheard of and only seemed to be getting worse as time went on. During those time the sheriff was nowhere to be found, therefore the teenager girl did what seemed the most rational: opened precise fire on the ill intentioned trespassers to protect her employees and horses. When it first happened she was arrested but later released after the witnesses' testimony that it was self defense along with finding various weapons next to the corpses.

Retribution started as an ambush while she was riding a young mustang in the desert, the horse shot dead, a heated blade tracing a jagged cut starting from her forehead and inching towards her right eye. Jerking her head upwards caused the knife to miss her eye, slashing her cheek instead; after an unexpectedly hard kick with steel heeled boots and a quickdraw later the three men laid dead in the dirt. The weapon was one of their own, found clear of fingerprints nearby. Karma was sick of traumas defining her, upon arriving home, she took the blade to her own hands and carved four precise crescent moon cuts along the bone of her eye socket, making the scar a crosshair.

After highschool graduation Karma was unsure about college, she learned what interested her whenever she wanted...but she had an undeniable talent in drawing and painting, so realistic they often got mistaken as photographs. Maybe art major wouldn't be so terrible in the future, she trusted the ranch will be running in her absence if she can't apply for online courses.

When Karma was 21, a filly was born: from a dark bay half Lipizzan, half Mustang mare and a black pureblood Akhal Teke stallion. The horse took more after the stallion regarding physical characteristics from build to the signature glistening coat. The young mare was pure raven black without any markings and Karma was immediately charmed. She took an extraordinary liking to her, her incredible agility and speed earning her the name Villám. Their bond was pure, special, almost if the two were soulmates. Inseparable, responsive; soon Karma was practicing shooting while riding with frightening accuracy. She loved nothing more than spending time with Villám be it training or playing, often treating her as if she was human. The nearby town was well acquainted with Karma, everyone heard about the tragedy yet nobody knew her given first name. The townspeople were fond of the young woman who was strong enough to overcome everything and continue her father's profession; they also were aware she stood between them and the cartel violence instead of the law enforcement.

At the age of 25, Karma enrolled in art major after figuring out she would like to make a living from her less violent talent. The college is in a different state, due to her hypermobility condition she spends November to April back in Arizona, completing coursework online and in mail because she has tremendous joint pain in colder weathers. This option also gives her the opportunity to still manage the ranch, most importantly be with Villám and constantly gain inspiration from the breathtaking desert landscape.

Additional information:

Karma has hypermobility (genetic) and developed hyperacusis from being exposed to gunfire a lot. At the end of the day of college Karma is often snappy, dizzy and has a migraine from being exposed to too much noise throughout the day.

Loves The Walking Dead and has Rick Grimes' signature 6" Colt Python

Absolutely loathes horse racing and any horse related sports because of how exploitative and dangerous they are regarding the animals. She refuses to sell any of her horses as professional racehorses; by all means have friendly competitions and act like cowboys but don't dare to ruin and discard her horses at 'professional sports'

Hardcore Bon Jovi fan, has all CDs and vinyls

Bisexual with no specific lean, sexually adventurous, had two threesomes so far, once with an another girl and a man, secondly with two men. Freaky sex poses possible due to her frightening flexibility.

Survived a school shooting at 15 by challenging the shooter to a pistol duel (against a semi automatic rifle) and outdrew him. She became homeschooled soon after that.

Very strained relationship with her cousin, Rozália who is currently finishing her masters in criminal psychology and to have a star studded military officer career. She sees too much of her uncle's aggression in Rozy.

The facial scarring occurred when she was almost 18, after she turned 18, the cartel sent two dozen men to the ranch. None of them returned.

Absolutely terrified of fire

Her best friend after Villám is Tianna who is the orphaned daughter of two employees also died in the fire, she is five years younger than Karma, therefore doesn't remember her first name.

She is still hunting for the killer of her parents all while ignoring the increased unwanted advances from the sheriff

Karma is both rich and attractive, yet she lives like a gunfighter in the 1800s and wouldn't have it any other way

Don't ask me for relationship advice cause I'll tell you to kill him

Armor-Piercing Question starters

"Why did you do it? Did you even consider the consequences?" "Do you really think this is what they would have wanted?" "Have you ever stopped to think about who you're hurting?" "What makes you believe you're justified in your actions?" "Is this really the person you want to become?" "How can you live with yourself after what you've done?" "Did you ever think about the lives you're destroying?" "What happened to the person I used to know?" "Have you become so consumed by hate that you can't see reason?" "Do you even care about the people you're hurting?" "What's the endgame here? Where does it all lead?" "Did you ever stop to consider the pain you're causing others?" "Is this what you really want, or are you just running from something?" "Have you thought about the future, beyond this moment?" "Can you honestly say you're proud of what you've become?" "Why do you keep pushing everyone away, even those who care about you?" "Is this really the path you want to walk?" "What do you hope to achieve by all of this?" "Have you even thought about the consequences of your actions?" "Do you think you can keep living like this, without facing the truth?"

𝐀 𝐅𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐒 sentence starters taken from Sergio Leone’s A Fistful of Dollars (1964).  Adjust as needed.

❝  get three coffins ready.  ❞ ❝  i am getting tired of these killings.  they must stop.  ❞ ❝  in my opinion you’d make a fine pallbearer.  ❞ ❝  it’s strange ,  how you always manage to be in the right place at the right time.  ❞ ❝  everybody here has become very rich ,  or else they are dead.  ❞ ❝  ghosts are better left where they are.  ❞ ❝  i hope you rot in hell.   ❞ ❝  may you die spitting blood.   ❞ ❝  we spend our time here between funeral  &  burials.  ❞ ❝  things always look different from higher up.  ❞ ❝  life can be so precious.  it’s foolish to risk losing it every minute.  ❞ ❝  you are without a job ,  &  you don’t have any money to pay what you owe me.  ❞ ❝  now, old fool, loosen up your tongue.   ❞ ❝  me right smack in the middle ?   mm-mmm ,  too dangerous.   ❞ ❝  his big mistake ,  i think ,  was getting born.  ❞ ❝  that’s all very cozy ,  but i don’t find you men all that appealing.  ❞ ❝  i’d like to know where we are going ,  or is it a secret ?  ❞ ❝  i’m a woman who’s rich enough to appreciate the man that my money can buy.  ❞ ❝  you are behaving like a stubborn idiot.   ❞ ❝  you will get rich here ,  or you will be killed.  ❞ ❝  i want law  &  order in this place.  ❞ ❝  i don’t think it’s nice ,  you laughin’.  ❞ ❝  a bullet in the back ,  eh ?  &  it’s ended ?  &  what happens if your hand should tremble slightly ?  ❞ ❝  why aren’t you sleeping ?  ❞ ❝  i want to see for myself how you’re going to get yourself in trouble.  ❞ ❝  i’ve decided to hang my gun up on the wall.  ❞ ❝  if you don’t mind doing a little killing ,  you’ll have no trouble finding someone eager to pay you.  ❞ ❝  well ,  i never found home that great ,  but let’s go.  ❞ ❝  get up close to it  &  take a little look at what’s in it.  If they fire at you ,  you know it’s gold.  ❞ ❝  you look as though this place suits you very well.  if you go on like this ,  you will soon be here permanently.  ❞ ❝  you see ,  there was once a wagon load of gold the soldiers were taking to the border.  ❞ ❝  when a man’s got money in his pocket he begins to appreciate peace.  ❞ ❝  i have to tell you some news that’s very bad.   ❞ ❝  you shoot to kill ,  you better hit the heart.   ❞ ❝  if you want any work ,  looking like that ,  you could try being a scarecrow.  ❞ ❝  if you’re thinking what i suspect ,  i tell you ,  don’t try it.  ❞ ❝  you mustn’t do the thinking.  let me think instead.  ❞ ❝  tell me ,  is that the way you go to bed every night ?  ❞ ❝  i arranged for the bodies to be lying as if both companies killed each other.  ❞ ❝  the dead can be very useful sometimes.  they’ve helped me out of tough spots more than once.  ❞ ❝  sorry ,  but when a husband finds a man in his wife’s bedroom ,  you’re never sure how he’s gonna react.  ❞ ❝  in a week you’ll be back in shape ,  you can get out  &  do whatever you want.   ❞ ❝  eating  &  drinking  &  killing.  that’s all you can do ,  just like the rest of your kind.  ❞ ❝  there’s money to be made in a place like this.  ❞ ❝  now what do you suppose they’re carrying in that coach ?  ❞ ❝  i saw the whole thing.  you killed all four of them.  ❞ ❝  you want to get rich ,  huh ?  well for that you’ve come to the right place ,  if you use your head.  ❞ ❝  you said you didn’t have any need for me anymore.  ❞ ❝  i told you i wasn’t cheap.  but i think you’ll find it’s worth your while.  ❞ ❝  i don’t like to take money unless i feel i’ve earned it.  ❞ ❝  it’s not really easy to like something you know nothing about.  ❞ ❝  is it possible ,  old fellow ,  that you’ll never be able to reach any conclusions on your own ?  ❞ ❝  if we’re not gonna bury them i would like to know what we will use them for.  ❞ ❝  when a man with a pistol meets a man with a rifle ,  the man with the pistol will be a dead man.  ❞ ❝  i think you will find this more amusing than cards.   ❞ ❝  any town that sells guns  &  liquor has gotta be a rich one.  ❞ ❝  you’re finished playing the smart boy.   ❞ ❝  i got it by first using my head.  No one can resist two barrels of wine.   ❞ ❝  here you can only gain respect by killing other men.  ❞ ❝  when i see you staring like that ,  it bothers me.  ❞ ❝  we’ve had too many killings.  ❞ ❝  remember.  they died fighting among themselves.  ❞ ❝  somebody has to run the place.  every town has a boss.  ❞ ❝  close up this place  &  come with me.  ❞ ❝  it’s not smart to go wandering so far from home.  ❞ ❝  i want to warn you that those murderers will make a corpse out of you one day.  ❞ ❝  i hear you’re hiring on men.  well i might just be available.  ❞ ❝  this is all very ,  very touching.  ❞ ❝  i gotta tell you before you hire me ,  i don’t work cheap.  ❞ ❝  you mean you don’t admire peace ?  ❞ ❝  you’re too smart to be just a hired fighter.  ❞ ❝  leave here immediately.  i will forget about what you owe me.  ❞ ❝  you just keep your eyes open  &  your wits about you.  ❞ ❝  i get the wrong idea only when it suits me.  ❞ ❝  a man’s life in these parts often depends on a mere scrap of information.  ❞ ❝  i knew someone like you once.  there was no one there to help.  ❞ ❝  that won’t break my heart.   ❞ ❝  you’d like to prove me wrong ,  wouldn’t you ?  ❞ ❝  at most ,  you will only succeed in being killed.  ❞ ❝  that was a fine idea that you had.  what was it again ?  ❞ ❝  are you changing your profession ?  if you want to go on living you’d better.  ❞ ❝  they want nothing more than to live in peace.  ❞ ❝  down by the river.  have a look at some corpses down there.  ❞ ❝  i am alive ,  &  i want to remain with the living ,  understand ?  &  when i’m dead i’ll want to remain with the dead  &   i would be unhappy if somebody living forces me to remain with the living.  ❞ ❝  dead men can’t talk.  ❞ ❝  the way they killed the men at the house ,  there must be a lot of them.  ❞ ❝  no matter what they do to him ,  he won’t say a word ,  even if it means his life.   ❞ ❝  never saw a town as dead as this one.  ❞ ❝  are you sure that nobody has seen us ?❞ ❝  by the way ,  you’ll have to mark this up.  ❞ ❝  when you want to kill a man you must shoot for his heart.  ❞